05x17 - Each One, Teach One

[bunniefuu]

For a Black man, breaking into my field

wasn't as easy as you might think.

"No Dre, no way!"

Okay. That was an exaggeration.

But let's be honest...

even now, Stevens & Lido
isn't brimming with diversity.

And when I was first hired,

I quickly figured out why I was there.

Uh, excuse me. New guy.

Where do Black people
buy their laundry detergent?

- The store.
- Knew it.

We have an expert right here.

Andre.

When you're talking
low-interest home loans,

do you do so with your "homies"
or with your "boyzzz"?

My "boyzzz."

Um, are your people still saying "Yo"?

Yeah.

But thanks to my trailblazing,

I've paved the way
for a few more Black faces,

like my assistant Curtis,

or Junior, who turned
an internship into a job.

Man, so much has gone on since
we last talked this morning!

Josh is taking me to lunch
to share some industry intel.

Did you know
that there is a secret meeting

to decide the new flavor obsession?

Pumpkin spice is out...
garlic maple is in.

Garlic maple? What?!

All right, I gotta go
scrub in again, sweetie.

All right. Bye, hon!

Lunch with Josh?

Why does he suddenly care about you?

Because he's my mentor?

- Garlic maple!
- Yeah! So hype!

What the...

Sometimes you gotta take a chance

when you're making a pitch.

Risks are opportunities
wrapped in barbed wire.

Wow. I mean, they really are.

Man, look at this
ebony and ivory atrocity

going on over there.

- It's unnatural...
- Mm.

...like eating chicken and eggs
at the same time.

Or eating an egg
while you make a chicken watch.

- What?
- They hate that.

That's why I do it.

Huh. What's this,
the Black people meeting?

Josh is mentoring Junior.

- He is?
- Mm-hmm.

That's just unnatural.

It's like a Black man
with chin hair and no mustache.

Yeah, that's... that's... that's crazy.

Josh is up to something.

So, I was thinking about
the Gumdrop Speaker campaign.

So, what if during the spot,

someone eats the speaker,
like a piece of candy,

and every time they open
their mouth, music comes out?

I mean, it's like
the music is always with them.

Junior... that's great!

And I like how you used
those persuasive metaphors

we talked about at lunch.

And I like how you didn't cry

when the waitress
wouldn't give you her number.

You are toughening up.

- Thank you, dude.
- All right.

- Oh, hey. Mr. Stevens.
- Yeah?

I got a great new idea for
the Gumdrop Speaker campaign.

Okay, what if someone eats the speaker,

and every time they open their mouth,

- music plays? You know,
- Mnh-mnh.

like the music is always with them.

Wow, I actually like that quite a bit.

He's taking Junior's idea.

- Hmm.
- Classic move.

White man's been putting his name

on our innovations for centuries.

Of course Elvis was the king,

but a lot of people don't know
that his biggest influence

- was Black musicians who...
- Hold up, Dre.

- What?
- And like I said,

it was all Junior's idea.

What we actually witnessing
is even more classic-er.

Black man needing a White man
to jump-start his career.

Mike Tyson needed Cus D'Amato.

"12 Years a sl*ve" needed Brad Pitt.

And Shaq needed that little
White boy to make a wish.

Oh, my God.

This White man only has
good intentions for my son.

Yeah, he's Pat Riley-ing him.

He doesn't need a Pat Riley.

- He's got me.
- Hmm.

And everybody knows that I'm the person

that Black people should look up to.

I don't look up to you.

I'm half your height,
and I don't look up to you.

You know what? I'm gonna go
down to the Boys & Girls Club

and find somebody who hasn't
even ever seen a commercial

and I'm-a make them the best.

Or you could just mentor
your assistant, Curtis.

Even better.

Saves me a trip.

You know what?

This is the most productive
Black people meeting

that we ever had.

Remember what we just did.

Check out my mom.

My mom is so dumb.

She really hurt herself.

You think this is funny?
Check out our mom.

Yes! Yes!

Oh! Okay.

♪ All day, I slay ♪

Hey!

You guys, this is private time!

She gets, like, 9 seconds a day
away from her family,

- and that's what she does with it.
- So dumb.

Yeah.

And her butt.

- So dumb.
- Her what?

Here.

Let's zoom in on how dumb her butt is.

Dude, that's my mom.

Yeah, it is.

She ever talk about me?

- Huh?
- Hmmm... wha...?

Hello, children!

How was school?

- Baffling.
- Why?

Jack showed his friends
your Beyoncé video,

and now everyone thinks
you're the hot mom.

Wh...

Me?

Yeah. I don't get it, either.

Can we just switch the subject?

I-Iran. A-Are those sanctions
ever gonna end?

No, no, Jack.

- We are going to talk about this...
- Yes.

- ...because this makes zero sense.
- Okay.

- Our school is stocked with trophy wives.
- Yeah.

- Tucker's mom is a former Miss Alabama.
- Yeah.

- How are you the hot mom?
- Oh, w... I'm sorry. Uh, did y...

Did you... Did you say the hot mom?

Not a hot mom, but the hot mom?

Really? This is what
we're really talking about?

Well...

What about the bees, you know?

Haven't heard about the bees
in a while. They all right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I understand. I understand.

No need for you to be embarrassed, okay?

It's just... It's what little boys do.
You know what I mean?

They're just...

They're obsessed with...

...your very hot doctor mom. It's okay.

- That's the problem.
- Oh.

- Tone it down, Mom.
- Mm.

You're holding it together
pretty well for 35,

but right now, just ease up.

Do you really think your mom is 35?

You're not 35?

Well, if you think I look 35...

- She's not...
- Do I look 35?

Dah!

Go to your room.

Hey.

I'm about to change your life, Curtis.

- Okay.
- Okay.

I've decided to mentor you.

Oh. Oh, wow.

Um... really?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, you as my mentor?

You're welcome.

Uh, no, no, no, no.

I didn't... I didn't... I mean...

I didn't think of you
as the mentoring type.

- What?
- No, it's cool. It's cool. I...

You're just one of those dudes
that doesn't give back.

Curtis, what are you talking about, man?

I'm always helping you out.

You are my main man, Special K!

See, that... that's it right there.

- Um...
- What?

My name is Curtis...

with a "C."

Oh.

I-I always thought it was with a K...

like Kurtis Blow.

I know. You say it every time
you introduce me to a client.

So once.

Curtis.

Let me mentor you.

You know what? Um...

I appreciate the offer, boss,
but, uh, I'm-a go ahead

and get me some of that Josh mentoring.

Yeah. Thank you.

Hey! Get in here, Vitamin C!

Come on.

How you doing?

Wow.

I haven't seen someone lose
that many young Black people

since Kanye started talking about Tr*mp.

Have you?

If you have, you would tell me, right?

I'm here for you.

I'm over 30, but... I still matter.

The hot mom... over Miss Alabama?

- What?
- Bow, forget Miss Alabama, all right?

Can you believe that Curtis

doesn't think I'm the mentoring type?

Well...

Can you name someone that's
opened more doors than me?

- Well...
- Huh? Name somebody.

- Okay, well, I...
- Anybody!

- Well, I'll start with...
- See? You can't even name one person,

Bow. You can't name one.

- I...
- All right?

If it wasn't for me,
Curtis wouldn't have a job,

Charlie wouldn't have a job,
and Junior wouldn't have a job.

Dre!

You didn't hire Charlie,
and you didn't hire Junior.

But I created the environment
for them to get hired.

- Oh, really?
- See?

- By leading by example...
- Uh-huh.

...I've given them
the blueprint to success.

- Oh.
- Stay woke, Bow.

Okay, I don't think you understand

the meaning of "woke."

- Oh, I'm wide awoke...
- Yeah.

- Eyes wide woke.
- Sure.

And once I've gotten them
through the door...

- Mm-hmm.
- ...what else am I supposed to do?

Mentoring, Dre.

It's about bringing along
the next generation.

In the medical field,
we have a little saying...

"You see one, you do one,
you teach one." Okay?

So you see a surgery, you do a surgery,

and then you teach that surgery

to those that are coming up behind you.

- You just, pftt, bring 'em along.
- Okay, w-w-w-w-wait.

- Yes?
- So...

- you see one surgery...
- Mm-hmm.

- ...then you're able to do it?
- N...

Okay. I've played Operation.

Can I scrub in?

It's a metaphor!

Babe, I've opened the door
for many people.

Dre, if you feel like you have
more to offer than Josh,

then fight to be a mentor.

You're giving me a lot to think about.

That's what I do.

Like, what do you guys do

for seven years in medical school?

I'm too hot for this conversation.

My super-hot wife was right.

I needed to be a MILF...

A Mentor I'd Like to Follow.

Now, th... that's great advice.

We are gonna be much better
fathers because of this.

Hey, guys. Come on, you two. All right?

You need a Black mentor
to teach you the Black ropes.

My office, now.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dre, what's going on?

Sorry, Josh, there are just some
lessons that you can't teach.

Uh, I don't know.

I feel like things have been going
pretty well so far. Right, guys?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah, it's been going really well.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

All right, well,
what would you say they do

if they're in the middle of a meeting

and are asked to be the
mouthpiece for all Black people?

Hmm?

- Does that happen?
- It... It happens.

Y-Yeah, it... it happened
on the way to this meeting.

Mm. See?

Black people need different things.

So from now on, I will mentor
Curtis and Junior. Okay?

Okay.

- What about Zion?
- Who's Zion?

Is there a brother here named Zion
that I don't know about?

- Zion!
- Yeah.

I started last month. You hired me.

You said, "Zion?
That's a weird name for a girl."

You're mine, too. Let's go, guys.

And Zion.

Guys?

Yeah! Whoo! Yes, yes, yes!

Go, Valley... Okay.

Uh... uh, good half, guys!

Such a good half!

Yeah, bring it in. All right. Hey!

"Orange" you glad
I sliced up some snacks?

Good one, Dr. Bow.

- Thank you.
- Oh, please. You know it's not.

Oh, c... come on.

Hey, how are things with you, Dr. J?

Truly?

They're fine, Mason. Everything's fine.

So, what have you done lately
that's... just for you?

- Um... oh.
- Excuse me. Excuse me.

Okay.

I'll tell you in one second, kiddo.

- What the heck?
- What are you talking about?

I thought you said
you were gonna tone it down.

- Look at you!
- What? I...

I'm dressed like all the other moms.

Please.

You really think the boys
are here to see Joanne?

Don't play naive.
This is Jack you're talking to.

Yes, I know who you are.

I've been watching you flirt all day.

Flirt? What?

What are you talking about?

"Great half, guys.

I've brought orange slices.

Water helps with cramps."

You want me to just
let lactic acid build up

in the muscles of these children?
Oh, I don't think so.

Listen to me.

I'm not doing anything. Nothing.

You are seeing things that aren't there.

- Am I?
- Yes, sweetheart, I promise.

- I'm j... Oh!
- Ow!

- Ooh!
- My leg!

Is there a female doctor in the house?

Perhaps... a supple anesthesiologist?

This is a nightmare.

Yes, okay. I see it now. I got you.

Okay, so the rapper...

- w-whoever's hot at the time...
- Right, right.

...he ties his shoes too tight
and says...

- "Ooh! These too tight!"
- Yeah.

And then we widen out and we see...

Name, logo here.

"These too tight."

Whoo! What do you think?

I think it's terrible.

Wow.

Guys, take a seat.

All right.

Advertising isn't just
about selling a product.

It's about selling a feeling.

You have a voice that's needed here.

Tell your stories, make it personal,

because that is what people
will respond to.

Curtis.

What's true to you?

Well, I didn't get my first pair
of fly kicks till I was 9.

Mm.

And I'll never forget
the sound of the paper crinkling

when I pulled them out the box.

Bingo.

I had these hot-pink high-tops
when I was little,

and I used to wear them,
like, everywhere.

It didn't take long

for my mentees using
Dre's Protégés Program...

patent pending...

to make major strides.

Josh may have warmed them up,

but I was conditioning them
into all-stars.

And after a few days,

when the opportunity presented itself,

I decided to let them do a trial pitch.

So, if you're
a true sneaker-head like me,

then you never forget your first pair.

Yes, and... and growing up,
we were paycheck-to-paycheck.

So when I cracked open that box

and I felt the paper crinkle
over a pair of new Air Max 90s,

I felt like anything was possible.

Yeah, my dad got me my first pair

on my 3rd birthday.

And I kept tripping in them

because they were three sizes too big.

But it was worth chipping my baby teeth

to look so fresh.

And that right there is our way in.

"My First Kicks"...
the story of your first pair.

Wow. That is great.

- Hot, right?
- Thank you.

It is so exciting to hear
these fresh, young voices

with their fingers on the pulse.

It's like that first home.

You know, that's a landmark thing.

Your first wife...
landmark thing. You know?

Or the first time you realize
that you own 51% of the company

and can fire anyone in this room.

And, uh, hey, that's a landmark.

To come up with something
this good at your level...

Yeah.

- ...is very impressive.
- It really is.

But why don't you come up with something

- like that, Dre?
- Yeah, Dre.

They keep coming up with
ideas like this,

we're not gonna need you
around here anymore.

Actually...

...I didn't want to say this,
because I'm too classy,

but... this is my idea.

All right? All of it.

Every single piece of it.

You know, from the shoes
to the personal touch,

to the crinkling.

Come on, man. I buy tons of shoes.

Don't nobody crinkle like Dre.
All right?

This is Dre day all day!

Now siéntate-say!

Go on, sit down.

All right?

Well, Dre, if that's the case, then...

- great work.
- Thank you.

Well, if you love that idea,
then you'll love mine.

Your last pair of shoes.

The ones you die in.

Everybody has a story for that.

- Oh, no, it went great.
- Hey.

What was that back there?

Let me call you back.

What are you talking about?

- It went great.
- Yeah, it was going great,

until you totally took credit
for our ideas!

- Wha...
- That wasn't cool!

Zion wants a piece of you.

What is she mad at?

We came up with this as a team!

I gave you your way in.

Before me, you had nothing!

Yeah, but those were our ideas
that they responded to.

Then you swooped in
and stole our thunder.

- You made it all about you.
- Yeah, man.

Curtis crinkles! Dre don't crinkle.

Oh, I crinkle. And I crunch.

Man, I don't have to sit here
and take this mess.

You know what?
This is my office. You leave.

And lock the door behind you.

Go judge me from someplace else.

Dre, Dre, Dre. Is it true?

Is what true?

Your mentees are saying
that you stole their idea.

It wasn't even a real pitch, man.

There's no client.
There's no money on the line.

Congratulations, Dre.

You won practice.

I felt like I was being
shoved out of my lane.

Wh... You felt threatened by them?

You think that's why we hired you?

To be the voice
of young, urban identity?

"Urban" is in my title.

I mean, yeah, we did initially,

but you're 45 years old now.

If we want to know
what young people think,

we'll go look
at an 8-year-old's Instagram.

You're not just "the Black guy."

You've shown over the years
that you're more than that.

I know.

But when I came up,

there was one Black executive
for the one Black spot,

and there wasn't room for someone else.

Uh, see? That's what
they said about the NHL.

And now we got
two whole brothers up in there.

Just take it easy.

Sometimes our insecurities

lead us all to do some stupid things.

- You did this, too?
- To Black people? Hell no!

That's despicable.

But I have dragged down

every woman I've ever worked with.

- Thanks, Daphne.
- "Daphne"?

Wh... What?

You think just because
we had this sensitive moment

that we're on a first-name basis?

- No, I was...
- You better check yourself.

- I... I...
- Lost your damn mind.

"Daphne."

- Hey.
- Hey, Mom.

Hi, sweetie.

Oh... my God!

What... What... What happened?!

I got in a fight.

Uh, he lost the fight...

to Mason.

- And, yes, that Mason.
- What?

I had to do something.

The boys wouldn't stop talking

about how you "brought
your milkshake to the yard."

Oh, my God.

And now I have to delete Kelis
off my phone.

That song is ruined.

Sweetheart, can you give us a second?

Can you sit down? Are you okay?

Yeah.

Oh, my God, Jack.

You know a fight is never
how you solve something.

I just want things to go back
to the way they were.

I know.

Before the guys got all into you,

we... we were just normal.

We would just talk about
"Fortnite" and "Rick and Morty,"

and... and if we'd rather
get bit by a shark or a tiger.

Tiger.

I would... I think ti...

I'm sorry. Go ahead.

Now they're just all weird.

Look, I know this is a weird time, Jack.

But it's weird for everybody.

Do you know that Grandma Ruby told me

that when your dad was in middle school,

he had a crush on the mail lady

because she wore knee socks?

- That's all it took?
- Yeah. Absolutely.

What?

But then it passed.

And it's gonna pass with
your friends. It totally is.

They're gonna start having
crushes on girls your age,

or... your mom's gonna turn 36.

- Thanks, Mom.
- You're welcome, sweetheart.

Boy, I'm not looking forward

to going through this again
with Devante.

I don't think you're gonna
have that problem, Mom.

Mm.

'Cause you're gonna be, like, old.

Like, super old.

- Jack.
- Come on, Mom.

Diane already told me that you're 50.

Ah!

Look who it is.

What did you come by
to take credit for this time?

My outfit, perhaps?

I bought you that.

You just can't help yourself, can you?

Look, guys, I'm sorry.

And if it makes you feel any better,

I told Stevens that
those stories were 100% yours.

Wow. You did?

I was serious about
offering you real guidance here,

because I want to do what I can

to set you up for futures here.

Look at it right now...
there's only a few of us.

But if we do this right,

it can be like Wakanda up in this piece.

All right, so, when you're ready to...

Oh, I'm ready! I'm ready.

- I'm ready.
- Okay. Okay.

Look, I've been your assistant
for like five years now.

- I got a kid looking at colleges.
- Damn.

I think it's about time
I made some moves.

Okay.

All right, Curtis with a "C."

You know, I will make sure
that you get some real work

on some other accounts.

- Okay?
- I appreciate it.

You got my word on that.

- Thanks, Dad.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Thanks, Dre.

Damn, she's strong.

You sure you're okay with me being here?

Yeah. You're my mom. I want you here.

Okay.

Oh. Also, thanks for dressing
as frumpy as possible.

Oh, I... I thought I looked nice.

But... sure.

Dude! You got to check out
Dane's mom. Whew!

She's been taking some swings
since the divorce, and wow.

Later, Mom.

Oh. Sure.

That's my baby.

My disgusting baby.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay, on the field. On the field.

Yeah.