05x21 - FriDre Night Lights

[bunniefuu]

Football.

It's been a touchy subject lately,

but I'm pretty sure you
all know who I'm with.

Oh, I stand with you, Kaep.

But this?

It's gonna take a full seven
months for me to get there.

Regardless of all that,

growing up, I loved playing football.

It was always my dream that one day,

I would have a son who would
follow in my footsteps.

And that dream came true when
Jack came home and said this.

I made the football team!

Oh!

- What?! You did?!
- Wh...

Oh!

Ohh!

I finally have a real son!

I finally have a real son!

Wow! That was unbelievable!

- Play that back.
- Yeah, we gotta see that again.

He sees his man,

and look how fast he
stops feeding that baby.

Boy, he does not give a damn.

No, sir.

And can we just talk about
this guy's footwork?

The way he accelerates through the gap,

blowing right past whoever
that other kid is.

- He does not love him as much.
- Mnh-mnh.

And check this out.

There's not one, not two,

but three points of
contact with his son.

I'll tell you what, that kid's
gonna feel that tomorrow.

- And maybe for the rest of his life.
- Mm.

Real son, I'm gonna buy you a car.

You're looking at Valley
Glen Prep Middle School's

newest punt returner, Jack
"Tiny Dancer" Johnson.

Oh, we've got to celebrate!

Finally got an athlete in the family!

- Hey! I play soccer.
- Yeah.

And I was captain of
the field hockey team.

Must you always bring that up?

Sweetheart, I had no idea

that you were interested in football.

- I mean, I love sports and I love dancing.
- Yeah. Hmm.

So a sport with dancing?

- Sign me up!
- Mm-hmm.

- Also, I got you guys something.
- Oh, let's see.

Oh, look!

"Proud Parent of a Valley
Glen Prep Athlete."

I can't wait to put this on my car.

Wait, what happened to

"My Benz is allergic
to bumper stickers"?

You never put one on when I
was playing field hockey.

I wasn't a proud parent, okay?

Don't ask questions you
don't want the answers to.

I knew the answer.

I just wanted to hear you
say it with your face.

Look, Dad, you're making
too big a deal of this.

Even Mason made the team,
and he can't catch or run.

But they said to play left guard,

all you got to do is take up space.

- I played left guard.
- Oh, boy.

And I took up space.

Do I love Mason?

Maybe I should get two
bumper stickers for my car.

- Why not three, playboy?
- Ha!

Also, I need you to sign this
permission slip so I can play.

- Alright, playboy.
- Oh!

Oh, intercepted!

Ahh!

Do you mind, sweetheart, just
giving your dad and I a second?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Go put that on my bumper.
- Alright.

The back bumper.

Pa... Pass the ball!

That's so exciting, huh?

Football, football, right?

Alright, sweetheart, yeah.

I know you and Jack are really excited

- about this, huh?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

There's no way he can play.

- What?
- Dre, with everything that we know

about CTE and concussions?

This is all I ever dreamed
about as a father,

so please don't take this away from me.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Dre, this is about your dream?

Let me talk to you.

Football isn't just a game.

Alright?

It's a way to get through life.

And at one point in every man's life,

there comes a time when
he gets knocked down.

So I'm asking you right
here, right now...

... when our son gets knocked down...

what do you want him to do?

I want him to get back up!

I said, what do you want him to do?!

I want him to get back up, sir!

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!

Dre? Are you done?

Yeah, I'm done.

Jack and Diane get all
those life lessons

from soccer.

That is ridiculous,
because soccer is stupid.

- Andre Johnson.
- Yes.

He's not playing football.

End of story.

Clean this [BLEEP] up.

Hey, Junior, I need a favor.

Can you take me and Jalen

to the Cheesecake Machine on Saturday?

Are you asking me to chaperone

your very first date with
your very first boyfriend?

And you think I'm not gonna cry?

Don't make me regret this.

Look, Mom or Dad would make it weird,

and I just want my first
date to be special.

Is it too much to ask for a
little magic in my life?

Ah! Well, if you're in
the mood for magic...

No one is ever in the mood for magic.

Hurtful.

But I would be honored
to be your chaperone.

Thank you.

Just... please give us space.

Okay.

Is this much enough?

- How about this much?
- Mnh-mnh.

I'm good. Thank you.

Yeah.

Still got it.

- I made you a green one...
- Guys, I need your help.

Alright.

Bow will not let Jack play football

because she says it's too dangerous.

- Ohh! Ohh!
- My God.

What?! Football is too
dangerous? Really?

What's next? She wants to take
away our elephant g*ns, too?

Come on!

No matter what I say, she won't budge.

Okay, but if Jack doesn't
play football, Dre,

how else is he gonna become a man?

At least tell me that she's
gonna get him a prost*tute.

- What?
- I'm starting to feel like

she's an unfit mother.

Dre, if you decide to leave her,
I won't hold it against you.

Let me know when you leave her.

Just send me an e-mail or
text or something, huh?

Look, she doesn't understand
how important this is.

Football was the best
part of my childhood.

- Hey.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

- Yeah.
- Me too. Oh,

- the crisp autumn mornings...
- Mm.

- Yeah.
- ... the late-night practices...

the way Cindy Demito just lifted
me to the top of the pyramid.

Guys, look, I don't know how I'm
gonna get Bow over her fear

of Jack getting a concussion.

Eh, concussions get a bad rap.

I got one skiing, and it's
had zero effect on me.

- Really?
- Yeah.

So concussions aren't that bad?

Eh, concussions get a bad rap.

I got one skiing, and it
has had zero effect on me.

There, there, little bear.
You're in a loop.

Come on back. Come on back.

There we go.

- Listen, Dre.
- Hmm?

Life is risky, huh?

I mean, what are you gonna do,

bubble-wrap Jack so he can
never do the thing he loves?

- Come on!
- You know what?

I am not.

- Why should he give up something that I love...
- There you go.

- I mean, he loves?
- Right, right, right.

- Alright, because this is about him, not me.
- Mm-hmm.

- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
- Right?

- You know what, I got this.
- There you go.

Tell her!

Eh, concussions get a bad rap.

I got one skiing. It's
had zero effect on me.

Okay. Alright.

Yeah, you're done with that.

Here we go, pumpkin.

Stevens was right. Everything
comes with a risk.

So I did a little research.

- Hey, babe.
- Hey!

- What's up?
- Bad news.

What happened?

Diane can't play soccer anymore.

Did she kick another teacher?

Worse.

Girls' soccer has the highest proportion

of traumatic brain injuries.

- Really?
- Yes.

- Hmm.
- So no more girls' soccer.

- Oh. Okay.
- Buh-bye, girl power

- and self-esteem.
- Well...

- What?
- You know, I can't believe

that shin guards were
her only protection.

- Well, I mean, it's j...
- In football, they wear shoulder pads...

- Uh-huh. Okay...
- ... elbow pads, knee pads,

tailbone pads, rib pads,
and a neck collar...

- Mm-hmm.
- ... with a helmet

designed by the ladies
in "Hidden Figures."

What? They did everything.

They're just that good.

Okay.

I see what you're doing here, Dre.

What am I doing?

You think you're smarter than me.

Well...

- So no soccer for Diane...
- Nope.

... and no football for Jack.

Huh.

Well, you're gonna have to be the one

to crush Jack's dream, Bow.

Jack!

- We need to talk football!
- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, we do.
- Oh, yeah, we do.

Coach said I need to start

- eating better.
- Okay.

More protein, fruits, veggies,

less candy shaped like food.

I mean, you've got to put
premium in a Ferrari.

Do you have a concussion already?

What is happening to you?

I'm just keeping my body
right and my mind tight.

Now, can you quiz me
on European history?

I need a 2.0 GPA if I'm going
to play in the game coming up.

Okay.

So, you're making a lot of changes

'cause you want to play football.

Well, I'm not doing it

because I love myself or
I want to learn stuff.

Uh-huh.

So, isn't there something...

you want to... tell Jack?

Y-Yes.

I would like to tell...

you, Jack, that I am...

so happy for you, sweetheart.

And you can... try football.

- Great!
- Yes!

For a couple of weeks.

Great!

Because I've already forged
your signature on the slip

and turned it in last Thursday.

Okay, that's great.

Ahh! Look at my football-playing son.

Uh-huh! Working on his end zone dance!

Gooooaaaaal!

Wrong sport, son, but that's okay.

We'll... We'll work on that.

Ladies and gentlemen... Jack Johnson!

Okay.

Number 81 in the program, but
number 1 in your hearts.

Oh!

- That's an 18, buddy.
- Yes, it is.

Oh. I was in the mirror.

That's a bad one even for Jack.

- Did you get hit in practice?
- Mnh-mnh.

Follow my finger, please.

Very good.

Alphabet backwards.

Um...

A, B, C...

- Boom!
- Oh, my God.

- Still Jack.
- Mm-hmm.

- Yep.
- Alright, no need for concussion protocol.

The boy didn't get hit!

- Because I'm so quick.
- So quick.

- Ha ha!
- Yeah! Low center of gravity.

Oh! High escapability and
good hands, like hooves!

- Oh!
- Oh, my...

Like his Pops, not like you, Dre.

Wow, Pops.

I've never seen you take an interest

in any of the kids' sports.

It's football.

Oh... Wo... Okay.

- Ahh!
- He's right.

- Babe.
- Yes?

Today was the single
greatest day of my life.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Watching Jack on the football
field was incredible.

Aww.

And that wasn't even the best part.

Hey, look out, look out!

Oh! That's it! Move it,
son! There you go!

That's my boy!

Look out, look out, look out, look out!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh, yeah!

You know what? Jack
being good at football

makes me like you more.

Thank you, football.

Are you...

Are you crying?

This game...

has given me everything
I've ever wanted.

I feel the same way!

- You know what I just realized?
- Hmm?

All those college football
games I've been watching,

those kids are in college.

I...

I want to go to college.

W-What?

Mom, are you... are... are you crying?

Touch it.

- Yes, I am.
- Touch it.

I'm crying, sweetheart.

Oh, God.

Thank you, football.

Thank you.

Eagles!

Eagles!

Alright, that's my son right there!

That's my grandson!

- Hi, sweetheart.
- Go, Jack!

Eagles, let's go!

Looking good, Jack!

Okay, you know what? I-I can't.

I thought I could do this.

- I can't. I can't.
- What?

They are tiny, tiny little boys!

My womb is aching.

- Okay.
- That's a sign. I got to go get a snack.

- Alright. Alright.
- Excuse me. Getting a snack. Sorry.

Excuse me.

Hey, you're Jack's father.

Yeah.

Yeah. Heard some great
things about your son.

Ah. Well, you know, I
couldn't be prouder.

Hey, if you're a shady
college recruiter,

Jack will go anywhere as long as
you buy his grandad a Cadillac.

I got it. Yeah.

He's not lying.

Hey, which one's your kid?

Oh, my son's right here.

Oh. Well, why isn't he playing, man?

He... He's a t*nk.

Oh, naw, I'll never let him play.

Yeah, me neither.

What? Your kid's got weak legs?

They weren't born with
the gift, like mine.

Nah, football's just way too dangerous.

You got a future to think
about, don't you, bud?

Let's go, Eagles! Let's go!

- Let's go, Eagles!
- Hey, Pops,

there's a lot of parents out here

who aren't letting their kids play

but enjoy the hell out of watching
other parents' kids play.

Seems like the only thing
you enjoy is talking.

Why don't you be quiet
so I can watch the game?

Okay. Alright. I'll watch the game.

Where's the girl with
the beer at, anyway?

Alright!

You two have fun.

I will stay out of your hair
but close if you need my help.

That is the chaperone's code!

Wow! The Cheesecake Machine is popping.

Good job getting a reservation.

Wait. We need a reservation?

You didn't make a reservation?

Hey, it's... it's fine.

No. Let your chaperone handle this.

Alright?

- Heeeeeey!
- Hi.

So, I've got some crazy kids
over there on their first date,

trying to create some magic.

They need a table ASAP.

A nice one, with a view of the Sephora.

It's gonna be 90 minutes.

Alright.

She said it's gonna be 90 minutes.

Luckily, I know a little hack

to get this buzzer to go off, alright?

Jalen, spot me.

So, all you need to do is
pry the right spot and...

And we're getting it...

Ohh!

Nice job, chap'.

Okay, guys. You know... You know what?

I know another hack, and
that is called confidence.

I'm gonna get you seated.

- Hey.
- Hi.

It's me again.

I remember you.

Is there really nothing you
can do for these kids?

I mean, they gave you their hearts,

and you gave them this broken buzzer.

Sir, did you tamper with this?

Oh. Uh, no.

These buzzers are custom-made

at our Cheesecake Machine factory.

I'm sorry. Your whole party has to go.

Or... just hear me out.

You kick out this bozo and
you let us sit down, right?

You think I want to kick three
black kids out of here?

I'm gonna be on Instagram for this.

They're gonna call me Cheesecake Cathy.

Hey, you can go viral.

No, not the good kind.

Not the good kind. You know that.

So, Jack is eating better...

- and his grades are up.
- Mm. Oh, good.

I mean, and now when he signs his name,

the "K" is facing in
the right direction.

But football... honestly,
I'm just gonna say this.

I, um...

I thought I could get on
board for watching this,

but I can't... I can't do it.

You want me to be your
eyes and ears for you?

- Do it for me, Janine.
- You got it.

- I'm asking that of you. Please do it.
- You got it. Alright. Alright. Alright.

- They got the football, and they're running.
- Okay.

They're running. Oh!

- Oh, no! What happened?!
- That kid got hit really hard.

- No!
- Oh, my God. A helmet fell off.

- No!
- No, it's the way it fell off.

- It's funny.
- Who? Is it mine? Which one?

- Whose?
- I can't tell who it is.

It's a kid with a teeny,
tiny, little body.

My kid has a teeny, tiny body.

Oh! That is not the way a leg goes.

- My kid has a leg!
- That is bad.

- My kid has a leg!
- N... No,

Jack's on the bench drinking water!

I should've led with
that. Your kid's fine!

- Oh!
- Ohh!

Nice hit!

Glad that's not my kid.

Uh-oh. What's happening?

Well, it appears Dad's
starting to see football

in a whole new light.

Come on, Eagles.

- Yeah!
- Oooooh!

He got jacked up!

Is he okay?

Oh, I doubt it.

Way to go, Eagles!

Um, I do not think that this is okay.

- This is not okay.
- No, no. No, no, no, no. It's okay.

- It's okay. It's okay. It's...
- Oh, God!

It's okay, right, Pops?

Yeah, it's alright. It's
football, ain't it?

- Uh-huh.
- Phew! That was close.

For a second there, I thought
these two lifelong fans

were having doubts about
this very complicated sport.

Here we go. Here's
your son's big moment.

- What?
- You must be excited, huh?

- Oh, uh...
- Okay.

Yeah, that's one word for it.

Uh-oh.

Now that his son has taken the field,

- it's getting personal.
- Yeah.

Ooh, Dad does not seem psyched.

Yeah, even Granddad
knows this isn't cool,

and he bets on horse fights.

Their small son is set to receive.

And, boy, it is hitting them now.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Kick is up.

It is high and deep.

That's gonna give these defenders

plenty of time to get down
there and hit that little guy.

Mm.

He's got it! He's off!

Jack! Jack!

What the [BLEEP]?!

I can't... I can't
lose my only good son!

Wow. I've never seen that before.

Yeah, this is crazy!

We'll sort all this out after these ads

for jeans that make your
[BLEEP] look big. Oh.

You carried that boy off the field

like Whitney in "The Bodyguard."

- Your thigh okay?
- Yeah.

- Is it chafing?
- Uh, just a little bit.

Okay.

- Here.
- Okay.

- I need some ice, too.
- Ohh. There you go.

I didn't even complete my first play!

So, when did you suddenly change
your mind about football?

It's just... son...

I love football. Alright?
It's a great game.

But I just couldn't sit there
and watch people b*at you up

for other people's
entertainment. It felt wrong.

Can I not play anymore?

I'm sorry, son.

But I'm finally great at something!

Everyone was yelling my name!

Dad, you were so proud of me.

I'm always proud of you.

Not football proud.

It...

You put my face on a sweatshirt.

Yes.

Do I even have to bring
up the bumper stickers?

Yeah, you'll never sell that car now.

Jack, I'm proud of you for
so many other reasons.

You are an incredible kid.

And maybe I haven't been
loud about it in the past,

but I promise you this...

I will be football proud of you

in whatever it is that you do.

This is so unfair.

Is he gonna hate me forever?

- Probably.
- Yeah.

But all parents have to do
what's best for their kids,

and you're doing what's best, son.

- This is what's best.
- Hold on.

Yeah?

You're proud of me, Pops?

Yeah.

- Not football proud.
- Ohh.

I mean, seriously?

Heeeeeeey!

I've got a surprise for you!

Is it a new big brother?

I-I deserve that. I'm sorry.

Mm-hmm.

I was just trying to look out for you

because you're my little sister.

But I went about it in the wrong way.

Now, let me try and make it up to you.

Come on.

Hey.

I found a place with no wait.

Hey, Jalen.

This is...

magical.

How'd you do all this?

Let's just say I've got the hook-up.

Is it Target?

It's Target.

Unlike a certain restaurant,

their app hasn't banished me forever,

so I ordered a bunch of stuff
and picked it up that day.

I'll be back to check on you.

But not too often.

Thanks.

This is so nice.

Yeah. Worth the wait.

Finally a moment alone.

Hands to yourself, buster!

I'm sorry.

H-He's a narc.

So, after my talk with Jack,

I realized I was wrong.

There was another way he
could enjoy football.

See? Flag football.

It's just as exciting. It's just as fun.

- Goooooooal!
- Mnh!

Owwwwww!

This is like vegan cheese, son.

I don't see the point.

I mean, I thought we had
something there for a minute.

I don't love you anymore.

Well...

it was fun while it lasted.

Andre Johnson. Dad.

H.U.!

Dr. Rainbow Johnson.

Doctor.

Brown undergrad,

USC Medical School.

Doctor.

I am a doctor.

Andre Johnson Jr.

Howard... briefly.

Jack Johnson.

Kick returner.

Clown College applicant.

Earl Johnson.

University of None of
Your Damn Business!

Somebody better come and
get this thing off me.

I am not doing this.