02x03 - The Doctor Will See You Now

[bunniefuu]

Hey, guys. Bizaardvark here.

Who loves lemonade?

Paige, everybody loves lemonade.

- I don't.
- Really?

Like, your whole life
you hated lemonade?

Yes, it's too sour.

We just spent, like, two weeks

filming a video called Lemonade Stand.

All right, this is awkward.

Uh, enjoy the video.

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

(rapping) ♪ Perfect summer day ♪

♪ Sittin' on the couch like a slob ♪

♪ Dad busted in and said ♪

♪ Get a job ♪

- A job? A job?
- Yeah. Yeah.

- A job?
- Oh, man.

♪ Let's kick it old school ♪

♪ With a lemonade stand ♪

♪ Cooler full of gold ♪

- ♪ And the cups... ♪
- ♪ To the curb ♪

♪ Let's make a sign
that says "10 cents" ♪

♪ Word
Yo, someone's operatin' ♪

♪ On our curb without permission ♪

♪ Uh-oh
Looks like we got competition ♪

♪ We're slingin' ♪

- ♪ Lemonade! ♪
- ♪ Lemonade ♪

- ♪ Lemonade! ♪
- ♪ Lemon, lemonade ♪

♪ We can't have some other chicas ♪

♪ Tryin' to steal our cheese ♪

♪ These girls are half our age ♪

♪ This is about to be a breeze ♪

Wait, do you see what I see?

Whoa, that kinda rocks.

♪ Looks almost like a food truck ♪

♪ And all we got is this box ♪

♪ A little healthy competition
is just fine with me ♪

♪ Those are fresh organic lemons ♪

♪ Where'd they get that lemon tree? ♪

♪ Concentrated mix is just as nice ♪

♪ Uh, this is warm ♪

♪ I think we need some ice...
to sell this ♪

- ♪ Lemonade! ♪
- ♪ Lemonade ♪

- ♪ Lemonade! ♪
- ♪ Lemonade ♪

- ♪ Lemonade! ♪
- ♪ Lemon, lemonade ♪

- ♪ Lemonade! ♪
- ♪ Lemonade ♪

♪ Lemonade ♪

- ♪ Lemonade! ♪
- ♪ Lemon, lemon, lemonade ♪

♪ Lemon, lemonade! ♪

♪ They've got an ice sculpture ♪

♪ And a line of people at their stand ♪

♪ It's all good, we're cool
I got two folding fans ♪

♪ They serve their lemonade in glasses ♪

♪ With rainbows and unicorns ♪

♪ They're swiping credit cards ♪

♪ Plus, they've got
embroidered uniforms ♪

♪ Please, we keep it real ♪

♪ We got nothing to envy ♪

♪ I just downloaded their app ♪

♪ And it's really user-friendly ♪

♪ The game done changed ♪

♪ How can we compete? ♪

♪ That's a bunch of hype ♪

♪ Our lemonade is just as sweet ♪

♪ Let's see what's all the fuss about ♪

♪ Wow, this is delicious ♪

♪ Lines around the block? ♪

♪ Yo, their business sense is vicious ♪

♪ We need to close up shop, Frankie ♪

♪ Let's not pretend ♪

♪ But we'll get embroidered uniforms ♪

♪ If we work for them
Slingin' ♪

- ♪ Lemonade! ♪
- ♪ Lemonade ♪

♪ Lemonade ♪

- ♪ Lemonade! ♪
- ♪ Lemon, lemonade ♪

♪ Lemon, lemonade ♪

- ♪ Lemonade! ♪
- ♪ Lemonade ♪

♪ Lemonade ♪

- ♪ Lemonade! ♪
- ♪ Lemon, lemon, lemonade ♪

♪ You could spend all day
on a swing eating a baguette ♪

♪ But why do boring things like
that when there's the Internet? ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ You could watch
Dirk doing crazy dares ♪

♪ Sayin', "Here we go" ♪

Here we go!

♪ He'll do anything you want ♪

♪ Just don't try this at home ♪

♪ Or watch Amelia teaching ya
how to look your best ♪

♪ Making-over people
is her never-ending quest ♪

♪ You could watch... ♪

Do you have constant foot odor?

♪ You could watch us make
ridiculously funny videos ♪

♪ Like the one with evil pop-up books ♪

♪ That punch you in the nose ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

And I... I missed it!

- Hey, sweetie.
- Dad!

You're home even earlier than I thought.

Well, surgeries end a lot quicker
when things go horribly wrong.

What?

I'm kidding. They rescheduled.
Come here.

Now, who's ready
for the latest edition of...

"What's the Grossest Thing I Saw Today"?

Ooh, me, me, me, me!

What do you get when you
cross the small intestine

with 80 years of eating fast food?

Oh, I can't even look at it!

Can you text me that?

I want it as my wallpaper.

Hey, what smells so good?

I cooked for us.

It's been like a month since
you've been home early enough

to have dinner together,

so I wanted to make tonight special.

This is great.

Dinner with my
favorite person in the world,

and I don't have to think
about intestines and blood.

So, what'd you cook?

Spaghetti and red sauce.

(exclaims)

Hey, didn't you and Paige post
a new Bizaardvark video today?

- Yeah.
- Let's watch it now.

♪ Oh. oh, oh, oh ♪

(message beeps)

It's okay. I'm sure
it's not an emergency.

It's an emergency.

I'm so sorry, sweetie.

You know there's nowhere
else that I'd rather be

than here having dinner with you.

I know. I understand.

Oh, nobody knows I went home,

so I better make it look like
I was working this whole time.

Perfect.

And so, Grandma said to me,

"Bernie, don't worry.
Your gerbil's just sleeping...

for a really long time."

I'm sick of hot chocolate.

Okay. Well, forget my story.

Every day it's the same thing.

It's hot, it's chocolate.

It's boring.

Servants of Vuuugle hush thy mouths!

Dirk speaks the truth.

Hot chocolate... is boring.

Well, thanks,
Live-like-a-Viking-Channel guy.

Your vision is inspiring.

Everyone here looks up to you.

You're like our leader,

Dirk of House Me Bro.

I'm a leader.

We shouldn't just accept
a Hot Chocolate Bar.

We deserve something better!

All (shouting): Yeah!

And we should replace
the Hot Chocolate Bar

with something that makes us say,

"This is better!"

All (shouting): Yeah!

And Dirk lives with me,

so that makes me co-leader!

(shouts enthusiastically) Yeah!

No? Okay.

Hey, are you guys talking
about the Hot Chocolate Bar?

'Cause I've been thinking,

and I actually have
a plan to improve it.

Instead of just hot chocolate,

we could enjoy a variety of beverages.

All we have to do is add more
hoses and rewire the bar.

Whoa. Hoses and wires?

Sounds kinda complicated.

It's really not.

Imagine any drink you can
think of at any time.

Now we have to imagine things?

Dirk's plan is based in reality...

Replace the Hot Chocolate Bar
with something that is better!

All: Yeah!

And as co-leader, Dirk demands
that you say "yeah" to me!

Just do it, guys.

All: Yeah.

Yeah.

Monday's gonna be brutal.

How can we have both
a test and a term paper due?

That should be illegal.

It's like I always said,

Homework Cops.

Could be a movie?
Should be a real thing.

Hey, what's up?

I'm sorry.

It's just... my dad had to miss
dinner again because of work.

I never get to hang out with him.

It feels like his patients get
to see him more than I do.

Well, to be fair, they're paying him,

like, a lot.

Maybe you just need to find
another way to get his attention.

Dr. Wong, you have an emergency patient.

She doesn't have much time...

with her father.

Did I do the dramatic pause right?

Yeah.

(in sing-song) Nailed it.

Hi, Dad.

Frankie, what's going on?

You're always working.

This is the only way
I knew I could see you.

Really?

And you thought sneaking into
the hospital was a good idea?

Yeah, well, think about it.

Shouldn't your doctor be
more than just a doctor to you?

You're reading that off the
poster behind me, aren't you?

Sorry, Dad. It's just that...

three out of five women over the age
of 60 suffer from high blood pressure.

Oh, speaking of,

you wanna see a picture
of a clogged artery?

Like, really clogged?

(exclaims loudly Oh!

Ugh!

Can that be our Christmas card?

So, you want to destroy
the Hot Chocolate bar

and replace it with something... better?

All (shouting): Yeah!

Well, there is an old Vuuugle rule

that if a majority agrees on
an issue of building policy,

they can change it.

Really?

No. I just don't care.

Also, you have an angry mob
and I have no arms.

All (shouting): Yeah!

Hang on, everyone.

I realized not all of you
responded to my plan earlier.

Who is this dragon lady?

And why does she keep appearing?

We get it, Scott, you're a viking.

I had my architect draw up a blue print

so you could see my plan on paper.

If it's not written on goat
skin with the blood of a fox,

I will not read it!

March on!

All: Yeah!

Wait, wait, wait, guys,

what're we doing?

We can't just destroy
the Hot Chocolate Bar...

Thank you.

...without filming it for our channels!

What?

All (shouting): Yeah!

(dubstep music playing)

(shouting)

Yeah!

(chainsaw buzzing)

(yelling)

(heroic music playing)

Yeah!

(cheering)

(dubstep music continues)

Whoop, whoop, whoop!

So, Dirk,

what do you plan on replacing
the Hot Chocolate Bar with?

You do have a plan, right?

Of course I do.

It's...

(shouts) better!

(cheering)

(laughs)

Hey, man, I really feel
like we bonded back there.

You wanna come over sometime and
have soup with me and my grandma?

Your story saddens my ears.

How can I have both a history test
and a term paper due on Monday?

Relax.

It's Saturday. You've got
the whole weekend to study.

Oh, hey. How about we
take a study break?

I just finished editing
our piggy bank video.

♪ Well, I keep your money ♪

♪ Until you are ready ♪

♪So you can buy a bike or a... ♪

(screaming)

Why would you do that?

All I ever did was help you and
teach you how to be responsible.

Ugh. My entire life...

was for nothing.

Thanks, Paige. That really helped.

(cell phone dings)

Oh, uh, I gotta get home.

You got this.

Bye, Dad. Have a great day at work.

I'm not going to work today.

What do you mean?

After your little stunt at the hospital,

I realized you're right.

We don't spend enough time together.

So I'm taking the next two weeks off.

What? Really? That's amazing!

Oh, wait, you still gonna
get paid money, right?

Heck yeah.

And the fun starts now.

I got passes to the water park!

Splash-o-rama for today?

Yep, unless you have more school
work you need to do for Monday.

Nope.

No way! Are these
"skip the line" passes?

I can't wait to make fun of the people
who don't get to skip the line.

Yeah, have fun staying dry, suckas!

- Bathing suit?
- Yep.

Woo!

I still don't know
the rules of paintball,

but I've got every color on me.

So I'm pretty sure I won.

Today was awesome.

I can't remember the last
time I had this much fun.

Yeah, probably because you spend your
days doing surgery on people's heads.

You know that I'm the Head
Surgeon at the hospital,

not a head surgeon, right?

Yeah, we needed this catch-up time.

Up for a softball catch?

Aw, like when I was little.

Yep.

Um, I just... I need my lucky hat.

Okay. England, France, w*r. Got it.

Can't go on a hike without sunscreen.

Um, term paper.

By Frankie Wong.

Okay, good start.

Dr. Wong: Hurry up, Frankie.

Planetarium closes at 7:00.

Uh, I'm just flipping pages.

I'm retaining none of this!

Dirk, all these people
are excited to hear your plan.

Bern-man, I gotta be honest with you,

I do not have a plan.

Well, that is certainly going to
affect their excitement level.

But it's cool.

I was up all night thinking about it,

and I'm prepared to handle any
question that they throw at me.

(clears throat) As you all know,

I have a fantastic plan

to replace the Hot Chocolate Bar.

So, what is it?

sh**t. I did not think
they were going to ask that.

Can I have your attention, everyone.

I've made this as simple as I can.

This is a model of my plan
for a beverage bar,

with little toys so that
even a child could understand.

See, right here by the bar is where
the new drink machine would...

Why is it so small?

How will we fit in there?

It's a model.

I don't see any models.

Just small animals.

Dirk, may I speak with you?

It's pretty obvious what's going on.

You have no plan.

These people all say I do.

Isn't that better than having a plan?

No, it's worse.

They all trust you.

And eventually, they'll
realize you're a fraud.

When they do,

you'll go from being the
most loved person at Vuuugle

to the most hated.

You're right.

I need to fix this.

I can't just let everyone down.

Dirk!

Quit talking to this
bejeweled sorceress.

The men are getting restless.

Give it up, Scott.
You work in a grocery store.

♪ Hey, hey! ♪

Hey, I just finished editing
Piggy Bank's Revenge.

Check it out.

Okay, she'll be here any minute.

(laughs maniacally)

Patience, Mr. Banks.

You will get your revenge.

Yes! Yes!

Wait, she's not filled with coins?

Oh, no. What have I done?

Police Officer: Come out.
We know you're in there.

You'll never take me alive!

(screams, shatters)

So, I'm thinking for part three,

Mr. Banks goes back in time and meets...

Himself as a baby piggy bank, obviously.

Can we talk about this later, please?

I haven't studied at all,
and I only have 45 minutes

before I jump off a building.

Frankie, whoa, it's just History.

France, England, w*r. You got this.

No. My dad and I are literally
jumping off a building.

He got us tickets to LA Freefall.

(gasps) You mean, downtown's
most extreme adventure

where you bungee jump off the
city's tallest building under...

"The cloak of night."

Ah, I was so close.

What am I gonna do?

I have a term paper that I
have no idea how to write,

a test on this in 12 hours,

and I haven't read any of it.

Any of it!

Hey.

Frankie.

It's gonna be okay.

You're going non-stop.

Why don't you talk to your dad

and see if you can LA
Freefall another time?

There is no other time.

He's going back to work soon.

I know.

And he'll understand.

Talk to him.

Yeah, you're right. I'll talk to him.

Hey, guys, check it out.

I grabbed him from the hospital.

Let's throw him off the
roof before we jump

and watch all the people
on the ground freak out.

(whispers) Talk to him.

- Goodnight, Dr. Wong.
- 'Night, Paige.

Dad, can I talk to you for a second?

Of course.

What's going on?

(sighs)

- Look, the past few days...
- Have been incredible.

I know! I'm having so much fun!

But the best part
is when I look over at you

and I see how much fun you're having.

Reminds me how lucky
I am to be your dad.

(softly) I don't know. I don't know.

I feel the same way.

- Let's go jump off a building.
- Yes!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The thing is buckled,
the harness is harnessed,

three, two, one, we jump,
then we go home, right?

I know. I'm excited, too!

Let's do this twice!

Twice?

Man (on loudspeaker): Okay,
next jumpers, you're up.

- That's us.
- Finally.

Goggles on.

Get ready to touch the sky
in three, two...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on.

Looks like we got some
mechanical issues up in here.

Really?

Really.

Don't worry, we'll have
this fixed in no time.

Two... three hours tops.

Ugh, I can't do this!

Frankie, what's wrong?

Everything. Everything's wrong.

Honey, take a breath.

What's going on?

I have a huge test and a
term paper due tomorrow,

and I haven't worked on any of it

because we've been running
around doing so much stuff.

What? Why didn't you tell me?

Because I only have you
for, like, two weeks,

and then you're going back to work,

and then I'm going to lose you again.

Frankie, you're never gonna lose me.

I ruined everything.

(sobs) I should've said something.
I'm so sorry.

No. This is my fault.

I haven't been around.

(sighs) After your mom
and I got divorced,

I threw myself into work

to make sure that you have
everything that you wanted.

You've done great, Dad.

I know it hasn't been easy.

But I missed everything.

You're the most beautiful, funny,
creative girl in the world

and I never get to see you.

You're my life, Frankie.

From now on,

I'm gonna be around more.

Really?

Really.

Hey.

You wanna see a really gross
picture of a burst appendix?

I love you, too, Dad.

It might take us all night,

but we have to rebuild the Hot
Chocolate Bar back to the way it was.

(impersonating Viking guy) Let us
reclaim the fortress of our...

I can't do it.

The Viking guy is so cool.

I'm gonna go take a nap.

('80s rock music playing)

Here we go.

People of Vuuugle,

I stayed up all night to give
you the new and improved

Hot Chocolate Bar.

No mammoth pelts, or otters, or...

Uh-oh.

Where am I?

(lisping) 'Sup?

(in normal voice) 'Sup.

Guys, I give up.

I never had a plan to replace
the Hot Chocolate Bar.

It's just... you all believed in me,

and I didn't want to let you down.

But there is someone here
who has true vision,

who we should've been
listening to all along...

(sighs) Thank you, Dirk.

...Horse-face guy!

What?

(dance music playing)

I get it!

Okay, let me suggest another solution.

My new office.

It made no sense
being on the second floor.

No more carrying me up
the stairs, Viking guy.

It has been an honor.

Indeed.

Sorry for messing up, everybody.

I know it's not much,

but I do have this dartboard.

Dartboard, huh?

Sounds kinda lame...

Oh, man this is fun!

All (shouting): Yeah!

I don't know.

Don't we all deserve
better than a dartboard?

Yeah.

We do deserve better.

(shouting) Yeah!