02x09 - Softball: The Musical

[bunniefuu]

- Hey, guys! I'm Paige.
- I'm Frankie.

And we're Bizaardvark!

Today we are doing
the Multi-Task Challenge,

where we see if we can do
two things at once.

Jumping on a trampoline

while painting a picture
of a dog, go!

Okay. Uh, that's the ears...

I don't know if I made
enough room for the face.

I'm still jumping.

Okay. There it is!

Oh, wow!

You can tell
that's a dog, right?

This is hard!

I told you! What are
you trying to make?

That looks like a bird!

It's a giant cat!

Throwing darts
while Hula-Hooping!

I am going to stand
over here. Come on.

Okay.

Aah!

No!

Oh!

Okay, I just get a little too angry.

You can do...

What?

Dribbling a ball

while putting on a
hooded raincoat.

I'm gonna be over here,

so I am not hurt.

All right, I'm gonna
put my hood on first.

Okay.

You got this, okay.
Now try for the buttoning.

How are you gonna
do the buttoning?

I can't even see the buttons.
Think fast!

Just gotta... Just gotta...
No, no, no, no, no!

Okay, got a button,
got a button, got a button.

- What?
- Got another button.

How'd you do it so fast?

Aah! My arm's a little tired.

I did it!

♪ You could spend all day ♪

♪ On a swing eating a baguette ♪

♪ But why do
boring things like that ♪

♪ When there's the Internet? ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

- ♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ You could watch Dirk
doing crazy dares ♪

- ♪ Saying, "Here we go" ♪
- Here we go!

♪ He'll do anything you want ♪

♪ Just don't try this at home ♪

♪ Or watch Amelia teaching ya ♪

♪ How to look your best ♪

♪ Makin' over people
is her never-ending quest ♪

♪ You could watch... ♪

Do you have constant foot odor?

♪ You could watch us make
ridiculously funny videos ♪

♪ Like the one
with evil pop-up books ♪

♪ That punch you in the nose ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

And I... I missed it.

All right, listen up, people!

As manager of the Vuuugle
softball team,

it's my job to whip you
into shape!

Did you volunteer to be manager

just so you could
boss people around?

No.

I did it because they
gave me this whistle!

All right, our first game
is this weekend

against Dave's
Discount Tire Store.

I don't know who this Dave is,

but I shall promptly give him
a funeral at sea!

You're not a real Viking, Scott!

And we know your dad
owns the store.

What kind of man fires
his own son...

for yelling at the customers!
Those tire guys are big hitters.

We're gonna need to hit
a ton of home runs.

And I can't bat every time.

You should bunt

or get hit by a pitch
every time, like we discussed.

We'll see what
the wind situation is.

The weak child
makes a fair point.

We need more muscle
to ensure victory!

And that's how you wheelbarrow
500 pounds of cement

from Las Vegas to Los Angeles!

Another extremely specific dare
completed! Woo!

Woo!

Wait. Dirk's back?

We should ask him
to join our softball team.

Oh, yeah, me and him
in the lineup?

There's gonna be a lot
of trippies and doubies.

Hey, Dirk. Do you wanna
join our softball team?

Are you kidding?

I love softball!

Great, we're just
about to practice.

Yes! Assemble the squadron!

Oh. We're all here.

All right, everyone.
Even though it's raining,

we're not technically allowed
to be playing in here,

- so if anyone asks...
- Bernie did it!

Wow, we didn't even
practice that.

And I don't know
why I said it, too.

All right, Dirk's up.
Prepare to be dazzled.

Way ahead of you.

This is what my people call...

an awkward situation.

There's no way
he can be on our team.

Well, someone's gonna
have to look Dirk in the eye,

tell him he's off the team,
and completely break his heart.

You guys mind if I do it?

Hey, hey, hang on.

I know Dirk's big and strong,
but he's really sensitive.

Remember that time he made
brownies and you said

they were
"a little too chocolatey"?

She said
they were too chocolatey!

He cried.

Dirk's our friend.

I'm gonna tell him the truth,

- but I'm gonna let him down gently.
- Okay.

Hey, Dirk! Can I just...

Hey, Paige, thanks again for inviting me.

I've always wanted
to be on a softball team!

Plus, with my best friends!

So when's our first game?

- Uh, actually...
- What is it, Paige?

What is the actually?

What? Oh, hey!

So, um...

They're actually canceling
the league this year

because of... something.

Oh, man! It's always something!

That's too bad, because I made a
batch of brownies for the team!

- You wanna try one?
- Sure.

Last time I know you said they
were a little too chocolatey,

so this batch I made
with just beans and raisins!

So good!

Hey, guys, I'm Bernie,
this is Dirk,

and together, we're Birk.

Or Dernie.

Better!

Today, we're gonna be doing
the Human Elephant Challenge,

where we put some tennis balls
in these panty hose.

Today, we're gonna be doing the Human
Elephant Challenge,

- Tennis balls!
- I know!

We're gonna attach these to our
heads and swing 'em around

like giant elephant trunks!

Whoever knocks down
the most stuff

with their trunk, wins.

All right, so this is Bernie's
side, this is my side.

Here we go!

Three, two, one, go!

Come here, penguin!

Yee-haw!

Ow! No! Oh!

Hey, let go!

Quit turnin' em!

- Hey!
- Oh! Oh!

- Great win, team!
- Yeah, too bad the umpire ejected you

- after the first pitch.
- That ball was outside!

He deserved everything I said
about his wife and kids.

I should probably
go prepare for my

hearing in front of
the league board.

Have fun.

I still can't believe
I got five hits.

You got to bat off the tee, because
everyone thought you were under 10.

The tee was set
at medium height, though.

I'm just surprised the umpire let
Viking Guy bat with a real axe.

Yes! He truly feared
for his life!

Hey, guys!

Oh!

Hey, Dirk, what are
you doing here?

I thought someone dared you
to stay at home

every Wednesday
from three to five?

No, the only dare I got was to
wear a funny ice cream cone hat!

Dare completed!

I regret nothing!

Hey. What's with the uniforms?

I thought the softball league
was canceled?

Were you guys playin'
without me?

What? No! No, no, no.
Of course not.

Um... we were just...

rehearsing for a play.

- Yeah.
- About softball.

- Yeah.
- It's a three-hour-long epic musical!

Well, sweet!
I can't wait to see it!

- When is it?
- Uh... some...

Not for, like, a while, I...

This Saturday at 8:00
p.m., in the lounge!

Awesome!

Save me a seat in the front row.

So now we have to put on
a three-hour-long epic musical?

Good luck. I am
a nightmare to work with.

All right, Frankie and I
spent all night writing

a three-hour-long epic musical.

- You spent all night?
- Uh, well, not all night.

The first two hours were Paige
giving me a presentation

as to why Dirk's feelings matter,
which I now know they...

do.

We only have a couple of days
to pull this all together,

so everybody focus,
and no notes.

I have a note.

What if, instead
of Softball: The Musical,

we call it Amelia: The Musical?

Do we really have to do this?

Like, wouldn't it just be
easier to tell Dirk the truth?

You remind me of a small muskrat
pelt I wore as a child.

Yeah!

Guys, we can't
tell Dirk the truth.

- Hey, tell 'em, Frankie.
- Mm.

Because Dirk is our friend,
and if he finds out the truth,

it will hurt his...

feelings.

Great. Okay, so Amelia,
you're playing the glove.

Bernie, you're the ball,
and Viking Guy, you're the bat.

Guys, bad news.

I just found out my cousin's
wedding is on Saturday night.

So I'm not gonna be able
to make it to your play.

I'm really bummed.

Good luck, though.

Hold on!

What is it, Viking Guy?

What is the hold on?

We can move up opening
to tomorrow!

Tomorrow? That's the only
night this month I'm free!

I literally would've never
seen your play otherwise!

You're welcome, old friend!

Crisis averted!

Hey, guys! I'm Dirk!

And I'm Bernie.

And today we're doing
the Dizzy Mummy Challenge.

We each get a roll
of toilet paper

and have to spin ourselves
until we're wrapped in it!

Then, we try to walk in a straight
line and pop all of these balloons!

Whoever pops all their
balloons first, wins.

Yeah.

Seems like this is the kind of stupid
thing the Internet was invented for.

- Oh my God!
- Oh! Here we go!

Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo!

I'm gonna win!

So many balloons!

Can't see.

Okay, goodbye, Vuuuglers.

Come on, guys! Opening night is tomorrow
and we are not ready at all.

All right, let's take it
from the top, people!

That's how you coach a play.

Hey, Paige? Uh, you said I play the
ball, that's like a small part, right?

No, no, it's the lead. You
have the most lines of anyone.

Oh!

Yeah! Yeah! Cool! Cool! Cool!

Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.

Oh, I'm a terrible actor!

All right, everyone, let's take it
from the scene where the softball...

I have notes on my character.

I don't find him
to be very likable.

Well, you play the villain.

Well, perhaps if he was
some sort of... Viking.

You're a softball bat.

I want to play a viking bat.

That's not a thing!

All right, let's take it from
after the second intermission.

The glove is about to...

No, no, no, Horseface Guy.

We talked about this!

I know you're
classically trained,

but this is a light musical
about softballs.

No dark symphonies!

Split the difference!

Hey, Paige, so, uh, you said I have a lot
of lines, but I'm not singing, right?

Yes, it's all singin',
and in one scene,

you have to hold a single note
for a full minute.

Oh!

Yeah! Yeah! Cool.

Cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool.

Cool. I can't even hold my
bladder for a full minute!

Hey, Frankie! I finished
makin' all the costumes.

Oh, finally, someone is doing
something helpful around here.

Also, I announced the show
on my channel.

What? Why would you do that?

Amelia Duckworth only
performs for a packed house.

You know the saying,
"If a tree falls in the woods,

"and no one's around to hear it,

will anyone subscribe
to my channel?"

- That's not a saying.
- Sure it is.

What's good for the goose
is good for my channel.

Again, not a saying!

I've heard it!

Okay. Wait. Uh, how many
people bought tickets?

Oh, we're sold out, honey.

You know what they say...

Just go rehearse!

Hey, Paige, so, uh...

only Dirk's gonna
see this, right?

Nope. Amelia announced
it on her channel.

It's gonna be a packed house.

Oh.

Yeah. Yeah, cool, cool.

Cool, cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool...

Oh, my life is
a black hole of misery!

Hey, guys. Dirk here with

"Live like a Viking channel guy."

And today, we're gonna see
whose voice can get the loudest,

using this decibel meter.

In my village, we determine
the winner based on

how many birds fall
from the treetops.

- I dig you, Viking Guy!
- Likewise, Sir Dirk!

- Shall we get loud?
- Get loud!

Here we go!

Kitten makes me weep!

Kittens make me weep!

I've heard that
from my longhouse!

Is this organic?

Is this organic?

That was good. That was good.

Meatball sandwich!

Meatball sandwich!

Ooh! You won again!

Ooh, hoo-hoo!

My throat hurts!

I think I got you on that one.

I love romantic comedies!

I love romantic comedies!

- No, I love romantic comedies!
- No, I love romantic comedies!

I love romantic comedies!

We're both winners. They're good movies.

Yeah. Good movies.

Okay, vocal exercises.

- Toy boat, toy boat...
- Burn and pillage, burn and pillage!

Music performed
by Horseface Guy?

Oh, he's good.

All right. We threw this
thing together in two days,

so let's just go out there, and
hope it's not a total disaster.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Softball: The Musical.

Aw, shucks! Another day
of being knocked around.

You know, it stinks
being a softball.

I wish I could be... a hardball.

♪ You know I'm tired of it
Taking hits all the time ♪

♪ Yes, I'm tired of it
This abuse is a crime ♪

♪ And if only I could toughen up
and have courage, I swear ♪

♪ I'd finally leave this stadium
and see the world out there ♪

- ♪ You know, he's tired of it ♪
- I'm tired of it!

♪ Come here, Softball,
and I will hit you hard ♪

♪ It's the rule of the ball
to get hit by the bat ♪

♪ And I won't
hold anything back ♪

♪ And the crowd
will hear a cr*ck ♪

♪ Now prepare for a bat att*ck ♪

No...!

He's the bad guy!

Snack bar foods!

I need to stand up to the bat.

Do you have any advice?

Sure, we've got some advice.

- ♪ You should probably buy a hot dog ♪
- What?

♪ It'll give you lots
of energy ♪

♪ And while you're at it
you should buy some pretzels ♪

Not helpful!

♪ We're salty and we only cost
four-ninety-three ♪

Snack bar foods don't talk!

♪ I've been through so much pain
My stitching's black and blue ♪

♪ I promise I won't drop the
ball, I'm right here under you ♪

- ♪ I'll catch you ♪
- ♪ Will you catch me? ♪

♪ I'll never let you fall ♪

♪ I'll catch ♪

♪ You ♪

She caught him.

You're not gonna
knock me around anymore, Bat.

Because this softball
has become a hardball.

You don't listen to me,
do you, Ball?

'Cause, I never meant
to hurt you.

I only wanted to hit you
out of the stadium

so that you could finally
live your dreams.

You mean, this whole time you've...
been trying to help me?

Oh my gosh!

But, Glove,
I can't take you with me.

It's okay. You don't need a
glove to catch you anymore.

Because you'll be... soaring.

Thank you, everybody!
I'll always be with you.

♪ He'll hit you hard ♪

♪ He'll hit you hard! ♪

- Whoo!
- Haha, we did it!

I feel like a butterfly!

Guys! That was incredible!

Thanks, Dirk.

- Did you like the costumes?
- So real.

- Did you like the songs?
- Tearjerkers.

Did you like that we only put on
this musical to spare your feelings

because you're
a horrible softball player?

Now where's the wrap party?

Wait.

That's the reason
you guys did this?

I know I'm bad at softball.
Why didn't you just tell me?

I could've handled it.

Oh. Yeah. Cool.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

What an epic waste of time!

What I meant was...

We're sorry and we should've
told you the truth.

Yeah. From now on, we're always gonna
be 100 percent honest with you.

Guys! Guys, guys, guys, guys!

Great news! There was a
big-time theater producer

in the audience, and he loved the
show so much, he wants to take it

on a national tour!

Hey, but this time,
Dirk should be in it.

Sweet!

I'm a great singer.

♪ I'll catch you ♪

♪ Yes, I'll catch you ♪

You can't be in the musical
and your brownies are terrible.