02x18 - The BFF (Before Frankie Friend)

[bunniefuu]

Hey, guys! I'm Paige.

- I'm Frankie.
- And we're...

- Bizaardvark!
- Bizaardvark.

Hey, Frankie, are you a dog person?

You know, I'm more of
a music video about dogs person.

Me too! And what a seamless transition

into our latest music video,

- "If I Had a Dog."
- Woof.

Think we can handle it?

Definitely.

♪ If I had a dog ♪

♪ Wouldn't life be awesome ♪

♪ With a dog? ♪

♪ Woohoo, hoo, hoo, hoo ♪

♪ Can't wait to wake up ♪

♪ To a gentle puppy kiss ♪

♪ Strollin' around the neighborhood ♪

♪ Nothin' better than this ♪

♪ Everyone gonna be jealous ♪

♪ When they see him
doing tricks like magic ♪

Sit, stay. Oh, wait, hey!

♪ Every moment's bliss ♪

Ugh!

♪ If I had a dog ♪

♪ Wouldn't life be awesome ♪

♪ With a dog? ♪

♪ Woohoo, hoo, hoo, hoo ♪

♪ I'll know what he likes to eat ♪

- ♪ Got the table set ♪
- No! No!

♪ I'll be dressin' up ♪

♪ With my new best friend ♪

♪ And if it gets a little dirty ♪

♪ I'll shampoo him till he purty ♪

Isn't he the best?

♪ If I had a dog ♪

♪ Wouldn't life be awesome ♪

♪ With a dog? ♪

♪ Woohoo, hoo, hoo, hoo ♪

♪ If I had a human,
my life would be sick ♪

♪ Chewin' on the shoes,
I eat what I wish ♪

♪ Jumpin' on beds,
straight up breakin' the law ♪

♪ Got everybody wrapped around my paw ♪

♪ Have our friends over
for a squirrel-chase party ♪

♪ Rippin' up the sofa
with Shallow and Sparky ♪

♪ This is my house, I run the place ♪

♪ Get away with anything
with my puppy dog face ♪

♪ Face, face, face ♪

♪ If I had a dog ♪

♪ Wouldn't life be... ♪

But they're so cute!

Yup.

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ You could spend all day ♪

♪ On a swing eating a baguette ♪

♪ But why do boring things like that ♪

♪ When there's the Internet? ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

- ♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ You could watch Dirk
doing crazy dares ♪

- ♪ Saying, "Here we go" ♪
- Here we go!

♪ He'll do anything you want ♪

♪ Just don't try this at home ♪

♪ Or watch Amelia teaching ya ♪

♪ How to look your best ♪

♪ Making over people is
her never-ending quest ♪

♪ You could watch... ♪

Do you have constant foot odor?

♪ You could watch us make
ridiculously funny videos ♪

♪ Like the one with evil pop-up books ♪

♪ That punch you in the nose ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

And I... I missed it.

Woohoo!

Izzy will be here any second!

I'm so excited for you to finally meet

my childhood best friend!

Please don't read into my words,

or tone,

but how long is she staying?

When is she leaving?

And does this smile look forced?

Frankie, you know
what a big part of my life

Izzy was before I met you.

I want the three of us to hang out!

Three of us?

Why not just go to four of us

and include the Kn*fe in my back?

Frankie, there's no reason
to be jealous.

She's just here for a week.

Besides, I only have one best friend,

and it's you.

Paige, that was totally cheesy

and exactly what I needed to hear.

P-Zizzle!

I-Swizzle!

Dancing hug!

♪ Uns, uns, uns, uns ♪

Ah!

Izzy, this is Frankie.

Hi. Uh, nice to meet you.

A handshake? What am I, your uncle?
Get in here!

Oh! Oh, wow! Okay.

Uh, I forgot to mention, Izzy gets
super touchy when she's excited.

- I do not!
- Oh!

Can you believe this chick?

Ow! So tiny, so strong.

Look at all your cool props.

Hey, a tea cup.

Remember that time we rode the teacups

so many times we puked everywhere?

Ew! Totally!

We ate blue cotton candy the entire day,

then threw up in our hair!

Blue hair, don't care!

Uh... you know,

Frankie had blue hair once.

It was a medical thing.

Oh.

Hey, remember when
we played truth or dare

and I dared you to see
my dentist pretending to be me

and she gave you braces?

That dentist went to jail!

Yeah!

Um... you know, uh,

Frankie almost got braces.

Yeah. Then I... I didn't.

I like you, you're funny.

Thank you,

I-Swizzle.

What the heck was that?

Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.

- Now I'm just messing with ya.
- I... Oh.

How are you so strong?

"It's not about the destination,

it's about the Bernie."

Yeah, I'll use that for something.

Bernard, I have some news
about your Great Uncle.

I have a Great Uncle?

Not anymore, he d*ed.

He sent you that card.

"Dearest Bernard,
I am your Great Uncle Herschel.

"As I look back on my life,

I regret never taking you
on any memorable adventures.

"But I want you to have
adventures of your own,

"so I'm leaving you some money.

The most important thing
I learned in life..."

Whatever! How much money do I get?

One million dollars?

Now I can do everything
I've always wanted to do.

Eat my feet, jerk nozzles,

'cause Bernie Schotz is rich!

Hey Amelia, you missed your chance

'cause now I'm loaded, you shallow diva.

You wear a horse face,

and I think that's stupid!

Viking Guy,

you're a sad, old, failure who
created a make-believe character

because you're so upset with
your life and personality

that you have to live as someone else.

Well, that wasn't very...

Oh, my gosh. He's right.

I'm rich, I'm rich!

I'm rich, I'm rich!

I'm rich, I'm rich!

I'm better than everybody!

That was the greatest day of my life.

Hey, Bernie, how'd ya like my prank?

What?

That fake card with that fake check.

Pretty funny, right?

Oh, no.

Man, I love your school. It's awesome.

Aw, thanks. Oh, hey, I have
the best idea for tonight.

You, me, and Frankie should go
to Stevenson's Ice Cream

and order their three person sundae.

- Whoa! That looks amazing!
- Right?

What do they call it?

The three person sundae.

Well, that's boring. I'm calling it

the thrundae!

The thrundae!

Hey, guys.

Hey! We just came up with
the best plan for tonight.

Me, you, Izzy,
and a three person sundae.

Ooh, you know what,
I would love to spend tonight

bloated and filled with regret,

but I was gonna check out
the L.A. Horror Movie Festival.

I would have invited you,

but I know you hate horror movies.

I actually love horror movies.

I've been dying to go to that fest.

Oh, really?

You know, since Izzy loves
horror movies,

and you love horror movies,

and there's a horror movie festival...

I think she wants us to go together.

Yeah, I love her but she's not subtle.

I know you guys are talking about me,

but I feel like things are happening!

All right, let's do it.

Oh, yay!

Go, have fun!

I'll pick up the sundae, and we can
meet up at Vuuugle after.

- 9 p.m.?
- Sounds good.

- Oh, Paige, over here!
- Hey, Paige!

Hey.

Oh, ugh.

Where have you guys been?

Oh, my gosh!

We're so sorry,
we totally lost track of time.

You know what? It's okay. Don't
worry about it. Let's eat.

Oh, no, the sundae.

- It looks like...
- The melted body of Dr. Slice Face!

It's a long story.

In the movie, Dr. Slice Face melts.

I guess it's not that long of a story.

Wow.

You guys had a good time, huh?

Yeah! You were right, I love this girl.

Zucchini!

It's a long...

Long story, got it.

Well, uh, we're all here now.
Let's dig in.

No way.

Did you just get that alert?

About the surprise screening of...

Tongue Ripper Five? Ah!

Wait. But I haven't seen Tongue
Ripper Four. What happens in it?

They rip out tongues.

Sweet, I'm caught up.

Oh, wait, it's tonight.

Oh, yeah, forget about it.
We're here to hang out.

Huh?

No, no, no. Don't forget it.

You guys should totally go.

Are you sure?

'Cause you're dragging out your words

and I'm thinking
it might mean something.

What? No!

Go!

Okay. Thanks, Paige.

- You're the best.
- Love you, P-Ziz.

Yeah, I'll just be here

drinking this melted sundae
all by myself.

Hey, guys! I'm Paige.

And I'm Frankie.

You know, applying makeup
can be an art form.

Mixing just the right amount

of lipstick and blush

to make you look and feel amazing.

It can also be a train wreck

if you wear a blindfold.

Ooh, that sounds
way more fun. Let's do that.

I'm gonna start out with the foundation.
Where's your face?

- I'm just gonna...
- Uh-huh.

Just guess a little bit.

This feels like a yellow.

- It's a yellow, right?
- It's so yellow, guys.

- It's so yellow.
- Okay, well, I'm guessing

it's not a yellow
from the tone of your voice.

There we go.

- One...
- Two, three.

- Oh, my gosh!
- You look amazing!

I think you did great.

Ooh!

All right, here we go.

- This is a pencil.
- Yeah.

- I'm gonna do your eyebrows. Yes.
- Oh, you're gonna do my eyebrows?

You're drawing a new set
of eyebrows just for me.

- Because you want some luscious lips.
- Oh!

Oh, yeah, that's a little bit overdrawn.

Go!

Ah!

- I look...
- Oh, no!

I have a new set of eyebrows.

- I've got to arch my furry eyebrows.
- Pucker.

You know, I just wanted
Frankie and Izzy to get along.

I didn't think they'd get
so close, I'd feel left out.

Amelia?

I'm so sorry.

Were you speaking to my hologram?

Uh...

Hologram?

Yeah. Well, I was gonna get a dog.

But this is way cuter.

Wait, you weren't saying
anything important, were ya?

Nope.

Just feeling alone,
talking to a fake person.

That's what my mom says to me too.

Hey!

So, how was the movie?

Did all the tongues get ripped?

Paige, there is so much
more to it than that.

They also ripped out throats.

Where my Frizzle at?

Right hizzle!

Horror hug!

Ah, ah, ah!

Yeah, I want in on this!

s*ab, s*ab, s*ab! Paige is fun too!

So, what should we all do tonight?

Uh, what about mini-golf?

- Perfect!
- Oh, but it's supposed to rain tonight.

It can't rain!

I mean, um...

That... That's okay. My cousin
has an indoor mini-golf set.

I'll go get it
and set it up in the lounge.

Meet me back here at 7:00?

- Cool. See ya.
- Awesome.

Amelia, I did it!

Me, Frankie, and Izzy are all
gonna go mini-golfing together

and I won't feel left out at all!

Do you want to hear
the song I sing when I feel joy?

Uh... I'm a hologram.

So...

some things were said...

regrets were had,

but I can tell we're all good here.

Cool, cool.

So, I'm gonna go grab some
tostadas if anyone's interested.

You said I was a "shallow diva."

And there's just no truth to it.

There's definitely no money, right?

No truth!

Your harsh words made me
challenge my life choices!

And Horse Face Guy
still hasn't recovered.

Let's just punch him!

- Yeah!
- No, guys, wait!

It was my grandma!

She pranked me with a fake letter

that said I inherited a million dollars.

She did that to her own grandson?

I can sense your anger
is shifting away from me here,

so I have a proposal.

Let's pull a revenge prank on
Grandma and teach her a lesson!

- Yeah!
- Ooh, ooh, ooh!

What if her grandson
mysteriously disappeared?

What? No!

Jeez, just trying
to get the ball rolling.

What's this guy's deal?

Are you ready? Are you ready?

You told us it was mini-golf.

It's mini-golf!

Whoa! This looks amazing!

It must have taken you hours to set up.

Oh, it was nothing.

I'm just so happy the three of us
are finally hanging out together.

Well, I can't wait to give it
my official golf clap.

Golf! Whoo!

Golf!

Great. So, who wants to go first?

Oh, wait, before we start, we have
something awesome to show you.

While you were setting all this up,

we were hanging out and came up
with a hilarious idea

so we made a video.
We can't wait for you to see it.

What?

103?

Hooray!

♪ Sick days are awesome ♪

♪ ' Cause you get to stay home
from school all day ♪

♪ No test and no homework
to ruin all your... ♪

...fun!

♪ So get your favorite movies ♪

♪ And grab a ton of candy ♪

♪ Take it, Frankie ♪

Ugh, come back to me.

♪ It doesn't matter if you're shaking ♪

♪ Or your face is turning purple ♪

♪ The best part of a sick day
is the joy you feel when... ♪

Oh, man.

Come on, Izzy.

One more verse.

I can't. You're gonna have to...

...sing it alone.

♪ Sick days are... ♪

Awful!

Oh, no. It's in your hair!

So, what'd ya think?

You made a video without me?

Yeah! We thought you'd love it.
It's like something we would do.

Yeah.

It is something we would do.

Hey. Hey, where are you going?
I thought we were hanging out.

But you and Izzy are such great friends.

You won't even know I'm gone.

Hey, guys, Bernie here

with Amelia and Viking Guy.

Have you ever eaten a donut and thought

"Man, this is great,

but I wish my fingertips
weren't so messy?"

Everyday, girlfriend. Everyday.

Well, today, we are playing the...

A game where we
hang donuts from a string

and try to eat them with our
hands tied behind our backs.

You said it, girlfriend!

- Cut it out.
- Oh.

First one to eat their donut
without it falling wins.

- No! Wait!
- Oh, no!

- Ah!
- Ha, ha, ha!

This is not fair!

- No! No!
- Oh!

It fell.

No, stop! Thats... Ow!

Ow!

I win! I win! I win! I... Whoa!

Hey, are you okay?

No, I'm not okay.

Look, I didn't know making a video
with Izzy would make you so upset.

No, this isn't just about the video.

This is about sundae night.

Sunday night? I didn't even
see you Sunday night.

No, not Sunday night,
sundae night. The ice cream.

Oh, sundae night.

Go on.

You shouldn't have gone back
to that horror fest with Izzy.

Wait, that's what this is about?

I waited an hour for you guys

and you show up for, like,
two minutes and then ditch me.

You said go.

No, I said "go!"

A good friend would have
known I meant don't go.

Oh! So I'm not a good friend
because I can't read your mind?

Why don't I just write
a Paige to English dictionary?

Go means "don't go."

Be friends with Izzy means
"don't be friends with Izzy."

And everything else means "I don't
know, I'm Paige and I'm a lunatic

and I make no sense!"

Yeah, well, I wrote the Frankie
to English dictionary.

All the pages are blank because
you're oblivious and lack emotion.

Well, if it's blank, then why
would you print it, Paige?

Your company would go out of business.

Well, some people might buy
a book to put on their bookshelf

so that when other people
come over, they look smart!

- What are we fighting about?
- I don't know!

Look, you're the one who begged
me to become friends with Izzy.

Yeah?

Well, I don't see anyone begging
you to be here right now.

Okay, Grandma's almost home.

Remember, we hide behind the furniture,

then jump out and scare her
when she comes in.

She's here! Get in position.

Go, go, go, go!

Now!

Ah!

Nobody breaks into Roz's crib.

Oh!

Grandma, wait!

"Grandma"? You calling me old, punk?

Ooh! This feels like a face.

Ah!

Ah!

All right, I'm getting out of here!

Oh, thank goodness.

And coming back with my violent friends.

It hurts.

- It hurts.
- Ow!

Take that, Grandma.

Hey.

Hey.

Look, uh...

I know I said some awful things,

and I'm sorry.

Just to be clear, in the Paige dictionary,

that actually means "I'm sorry."

I'm sorry too.

I hate when we fight.

Paige, what happened?

I don't know.

I got jealous.

It's just...

in three days, you guys
have come up with

bits and inside jokes and nicknames

that took you and me
years to find together.

And then when I saw
that video you guys made,

it was awesome.

And everybody loved it.

And I realized...

I'm replaceable.

Replaceable?

You remember the first time
we had lunch together?

I said I was waiting for
my friend Jessica to show up.

Yeah.

Well, there was no Jessica.
I made her up.

I never told you this before,
but you were the first friend

I ever made.

Frankie.

Maybe you haven't noticed, but I'm
not the best at meeting new people.

You were the first person
to help me open up.

You were the first person who gave
me the confidence to be myself.

You were the first person
who thought making a video

about a talking toilet was a good idea.

Mr. Potty-Mouth was revolutionary.

So I don't know how
you can say you're replaceable

when you've shaped me
into the person I am.

You're my best friend, Paige.

I'm not me without you.

Hey.

Aw! Stuff was said.

Yeah, it was.

I'm sorry if I've been acting weird.

Paige,

you don't have to apologize for
the last five years of your life.

Oh!

Hey, so what should
the three of us do tonight?

Guys, I got it covered.

No way.

Presenting...

the thrundae!

Oh.

It doesn't travel well.

Okay.

I'm sorry, but it has been three days

and no one has said anything
about my bangs.