03x11 - House Band

[bunniefuu]

Now salute the sun
as we greet this new day.

'Sup, sun?

Now move to a back bend.

Just reach up and bend back
as far as you feel comfortable.

Oh, am I doing it?

Uh, I think I'm stuck.

Help!

Help!

Now put your hands to your heart

and breathe in the stillness

of this magnificent, peaceful day.

Parkour!

- Parkour!
- Parkour!

- Parkour!
- Parkour!

Parkour!

- Parkour!
- Parkour!

Uh, what are you guys doing?

Oh, sorry. It may have not been clear.

It's called parkour.

It's a very subtle and
sophisticated art form.

Ball pit parkour!

Well, do you have to yell "parkour"
every time you do a move?

No. Parkour!

Okay, everyone.

Now put your hands on your hips

and tilt your head to one side for

annoyed pose.

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

Men! Is the fort complete?

Sir, yes, sir!

And did you put Mr. Bear Bear inside

in case I want to take a nap?

Sir, yes, sir!

That's cool, right?

No comment, sir!

Oh, come on.

What is this?

Fort, fort, fort!

Fort, fort, fort!

They may be annoying,
but they do always yell

- exactly what they're doing.
- Fort, fort, fort!

Ever since those three
started hanging out,

it's just been noise
and destruction all day long!

That's it, I'm going in.

Right behind you, sister.

Time to break up this friendship

in a very violent manner.

Guys, guys! Come on!

Bernie, Zane, and Rodney
have gotten really close lately.

We can't ruin that.

We're witnessing the birth
of a beautiful friendship.

You will smell my pits!

See?

Beautiful.

Look, I'll admit

the boys can be a little annoying.

But I haven't seen Bernie this happy

since before Dirk left Vuuugle.

- By the way, where did he go?
- And it's sweet

that Bernie's found
new buddies to hang out with.

So I, for one,

am happy to do my part
to nurture this new friendship.

Who's with me?

And I, for one,

am happy to do my part

to crush this friendship
with my bare hands

so we can have our house back.

Now who's with me?

Just seems like

we can have peace and quiet in the house

and they can stay friends.

I think it's possible
to make everyone happy.

Pfft! Make everyone happy?

Who do you think you are, pizza?

Fine, laugh.

But a lifetime of people pleasing

has prepared me
for just this moment. Watch.

Hey, guys!

I love that you're hanging out together,

but wouldn't it be fun

to find something more constructive

for the three of you to do.

What do you mean?

Like dig up the floor

and build a moat around our fort?

- Men!
- No! No, definitely not that!

Um, I meant something that channels

your amazing, raw energy

into something else.

Maybe not in here.

Our energy is raw and amazing.

And you should channel that.

And as I mentioned earlier, not in here.

So? What do you say?

Sure.

I guess we could do that.

Mission accom-Paiged!

Better in my head.

And for those of
you keeping score at home,

it's boys: happy,

rest of the house: happy.

I am so excited

for your birthday, Willow.

Turning ten is a huge deal.

I know, and I feel it.

This morning, I got sore
skipping down the stairs.

So, what do you want as a gift?

A new dress?

A nice necklace?

Actually, all I really want

is to do something special and unique

with memories that will last a lifetime.

Oh.

Uh, that sounds very specific.

I'm... on it?

I mean...

I'm... on it?

Thanks, Meels.

I've always wanted you
to plan my birthday.

With you in charge,

it's gonna be the best birthday ever!

You know it is!

I know exactly what I'm gonna do

and you're gonna love it!

I have no idea what I'm gonna do

and she's gonna hate it!

What are you even talking about?

You just walked in here
and started talking.

I have zero context
for this conversation.

Oh, this is gonna take
forever to explain.

Oh, I get it.

She wants something special and unique,

but what is that?

If I get her the wrong thing,

she'll just end up returning it

like I did with that gross-smelling
bath soap I got last year.

In my defense, who wouldn't want

their entire body
to smell like root beer?

This is so much pressure!

This is Willow's first birthday
away from Kentucky.

Well, then, there you go.

Your whole family
lives on a farm, right?

Why don't you just
throw her a farm party?

That's a great idea, Frankie.

Will you help me?

For Willow? Of course.

That kid's a mensch.

Yay!

I haven't felt this relieved

since the bath store
gave me a full refund

on that gross-smelling soap.

Next year I'm just getting you money.

I went to five different stores

and finally found one
that had a scarecrow.

It was at the Scarecrow Emporium.

I probably should have gone there first.

Frankie, planning a farm party

is a little more complicated than that.

- Oh.
- The scarecrow needs overalls.

- Hey, guys.
- Morning!

Pleasantries.

Wow!

Did you see how they walked through here

and didn't bother any of us?

And all it took was having
a respectful conversation

that didn't resort
to threats of v*olence.

Hey, you got your methods, I got mine.

Point is, the house is quiet

and their friendship
appears stronger than ever.

Some might say everyone is happy.

Fine, I'll say it, everyone is happy.

What is going on here?

Oh, we took your advice

and channeled all
our amazing, raw energy

into forming the sickest rock band ever!

By the way, I play the keytar.

Becoming a band has connected
us on a whole new level.

Yeah, level two.

Is that a high level?

Looks like we got
a level one-er in here.

So, do you guys want
to hear our first song?

I know that's a rhetorical question,

but let the record show

my answer is a hard no.

It's called "Farts Are Just
Burps From Your Butt."

We know, we know.

The title is a little immature,

but wait till you hear the lyrics.

♪ Farts are just burps from your butt ♪

♪ Farts are just burps from your butt ♪

♪ Farts are just burps from your what ♪

♪ Your butt ♪

Don't get mad at me,

this was not my idea.

Thank you, Vuuugle House.

We are Paige's Idea!

Whoa! I did not see that coming.

Now it's boys: happy,

rest of the house: not happy.

What a ride!

Great job, Paige.

I don't want to say I told you so...

Well, I do!

I told you so!

Gah, I really wanted to do that.

Guys, I know it seems like I just
made everything worse, but...

this was just part one

of a multi-pronged plan.

Multi-pronged?

It means many prongs.

Oh, thank you.

Continue.

You don't judge a plan in the middle.

Like if you walked up to Einstein

when he only had E=M,

you'd be like, "Uh,
there's still C-squared."

Which is the square of
the speed of light.

But "multi-pronged" threw you?

Guys, this is simple.

All I have to do

is find a place for the boys to jam

that's not in the house

so they won't bother anyone

while at the same time

not telling them
I'm finding a place to jam

that's not in the house

so they won't bother anyone,

so their feelings won't get hurt.

Like I said, simple.

Everyone is gonna be happy!

All right, boys, lose the blindfolds.

Cool!

A garage door opener!

Cool, a garage!

That explains the garage door opener.

It's your very own private jam studio.

You can play your music out here

instead of playing in the house.

But if we play out here,

no one will be able to hear us.

Yes!

Uh, I mean... yet.

No one will be able to hear you yet.

Everyone in the house
loves your music so much

they want to hear more of it.

Yeah, that sounds right.

So, here's the deal.

You guys are gonna stay out here

and just keep making music.

Don't rush the process.

Give it time, like a cake in the oven.

Sweet! We get cake, too?

No.

I...

My point was you should use this
time to explore your sound.

So... will there
or will there not be cake?

There's no cake!

Guys, guys. I know what
Paige is trying to say.

We need to stay out here
and keep working

until we discover who we are as a band.

Yes, Bernie, you get it.

And then once we do,

we go inside and rock out
louder than ever

for everyone in the house!

- Yeah!
- Whoo!

Or...

you could keep playing out here

until you discover your sound

and then sh**t me a quick text

and I'll come listen.

Out here.

With cake?

Fine. Yes, I'll bring a cake.

Yes!

Well, heh, you guys seem happy

and that makes me happy.

So go on, create, make music,

no one is gonna bother you out here.

No, no!

Horse Face Guy, no!

Just park in the driveway!

I'll put up a sign.

Willow is going to love this party!

Thanks for helping me, Frankie.

The name is Frankie-Sue, y'all!

I love farming,

cows, and dancing to bluegrass.

Frankie!

You didn't grow up on a farm,

you can't act like that.

It's offensive.

I'm so sorry.

I... I didn't mean to...

Just kidding!

You sound like my entire family.

Let's dance, y'all!

Willow's gonna walk out here tonight,

and totally forget
she's even in California!

By the way, I gave the pig
a little cowboy outfit.

I love it, Frankie-Sue!

It's like you were born on a farm!

Except we don't give outfits to animals,

they just poop in 'em.

You'll see.

Meels? Where are you?

Oh, sh**t, it's Willow!

She can't see this!
I want her to be surprised!

Hi, Meels! Hi, Frankie!

Hey, Wills! Uh...

Remember, I'm planning something

super special for your birthday,

so you... you can't go out
on the deck right now.

We want you to be totally surprised.

Thanks, chicas.

I'm hecka stoked
to get my chill on tonight.

Why are you talking like that?

Oh, I just got back
from boogie boarding,

and I picked up some surfer slang.

Gnarly swells today, brah!

I love living in Cali so much!

Yeah!

But... but you miss Kentucky,

and the farm too, right?

I'll be honest, Meelster.

I was feeling really homesick,

but I guess I'm just a California girl.

Oh! Uh...

that's very interesting
information to learn

a few hours before your very specific

and very elaborate birthday surprise.

I'm so excited for
my first Cali birthday!

I can't wait to see
what you guys planned!

Hasta la later, dudes.

So we have five hours

to turn our Kentucky farm party

into a California beach party?

This is why I celebrate nothing.

How's my favorite band?

What the...?

What happened?

"What happened?"

"What happened?" I'll tell
you what happened, Paige.

You put us here
in this palace of a studio,

and told us not to come out
until we found our sound.

Well, you might not know this.

There are a lot of sounds!

So many sounds!

We tried them all!

♪ Farts are just burps from your butt ♪

♪ From your butt, from your butt ♪

♪ From your butt ♪

♪ And burps ♪

♪ Are just farts ♪

♪ From your mouth ♪

Thank you! Tip your wait staff!

When I said "explore your sound,"

I didn't mean change everything!

Ah-ha!

That's what I've been saying,

but no one listens to the keytar player!

Maybe that's because
every time you make a point,

you rub it in our face with a riff!

No, I don't!

Boom! How's it feel to be wrong?

The keytar is a stupid instrument!

There! I said it!

Guys, come on. There's no need to yell.

I wish someone would
tell that to our lead singer!

♪ My name's Rodney ♪

♪ Blah, blah, blah ♪

♪ I have hair ♪

Yeah, what's with the hair, man?

Okay, there's no need to fight. What...

Why don't you guys just do the boy band?

We would...

if someone didn't take four hours

to learn his choreography!

It's frame, pump, frame.

Not frame, frame, pump!

I took the rain stick!

Nobody wanted the rain stick!

I'm outta here!

Zane, wait!

I'm outta here, too!

Me, too!

But I'll dance my way out!

Frame, pump, frame!

And pivot! And leave!

Alright, we still have
a lot to figure out.

But at least we know,

Willow is going to love this beautiful,

hand-painted banner.

That's it! This band is over!

You think this band is over?

This friendship is over!

I wish we'd never started
this band in the first place!

Thanks a lot, Paige!

Yeah! Thanks a lot, Paige!

And at the end of two,

it's boys: not happy,

rest of the house: not...

Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know!

Hey. You okay?

Not really.

Look, I'm sorry about everything

that happened with the band.

I'm done trying to make everyone happy.

It can't be done.

Paige, can you keep a secret?

No, I cannot. It feels like
a polite form of lying.

Yeah.

I like lying, too.

You may not know this,

but hanging out with those
boys meant a lot to me.

I know! They're your first
new friends since Dirk left.

Yeah, but it's more than that.

Zane and Rodney look up to me.

It's like I'm their big brother...

and it felt really good.

Oh, well.

Guess those days are over now.

I may not be able
to make everyone happy,

but I can at least try
to make Bernie happy.

No, no, no, Horse Face Guy!

You can't park on the front lawn.

The garage is open now!

How did that guy get a license?

Willow's party starts
in less than an hour,

and this place
still looks way too farm-y!

I'm doing everything I can!

I even put a bikini on the scarecrow!

Uh, you're showing a little too much hay

for my taste, scarecrow.

This is a family party!

So, what do we do now?

Uh...

we could switch out
the farm food for beach food!

What the heck is "beach food?"

I don't know! Just...

put tiny umbrellas in everything,

and throw some sand on top.

- This is crazy!
- I know!

But that is adorable!

I know!

Great! You guys look beachy now.

Uh, you know California
surfer songs, right?

I have one performance note.

Everything was wrong!

I have serious concerns!

Willow isn't gonna buy any of this.

Let's just go find some tiny umbrellas.

Hey, um, I know
you're busy with the party,

but I'm trying to revive a friendship,

- and I could use some help...
- Not now.

I have one hour to transform
a Kentucky bluegrass band

into a California beach band,

or else the cutest little girl in the
world's 10th birthday will be ruined,

and that's not happening
on my watch, Paige.

Not on my watch!

Wait, you need a band?

Cause I can book you a beach band.

Do they know, like,
California-style music?

Absolutely!

They live on a California beach.

It's totally their lifestyle.

Great! Book 'em!

Sorry, boys, you're fired!

But if you could pop
some of these umbrellas

in the cornbread on your way out,

that'd be a real Kentucky favor!

Paige, I know your angle here,

and if you think for one second,

I'm gonna let those three bozos play...

They're not bozos!

They're friends who happen to be bozos!

And I haven't come this far

just to let that friendship
die on my watch!

Not on my watch!

You know I'm a sucker

for getting my own words
thrown back in my face.

Now go get that band,
you beautiful people pleaser!

Hey, this isn't a piñata party.

Where's the nacho cheese waterfall?

There's no bear in here!

Guys, I'm sorry I tricked you.

I just needed to get all three of you
in the same room to tell you something.

Well, I don't wanna be in the same room

as Brad and Chad here.

That's right!
I gave you boring nicknames.

- Guys!
- Well, did you ever think

that maybe me and Brad don't...

Wait, I'm Brad?

How do you know I'm not Chad?

Ha!

Like you could pull off Chad.

That's such a Brad thing to say!

Everybody's yelling, so I'm yelling!

Guys, I booked you a gig!

No way! A real gig!

That's awesome!

We are Paige's Idea!

Wow! You made up that fast?

We're ten!

Funny, you're 15.

Oh, I thought we were
ranking on general hotness.

Yes.

So, uh, a gig. You guys want it?

I do!

Me, too!

What do you think, Bernie?

Yeah, Bernie.

What do you think?

The boys wanna know.

What do I think?

I'm glad you asked!

The history of rock and roll

has been filled with important moments,

but when people look back on this day,

they will say,

nay, scream,

that this is one of them.

So grab your instruments boys,

because we have
booked ourselves a "gag!"

I almost had it.

Happy 10th birthday, Willow!

Surprise!

Oh my gosh! There's California stuff.

But also... farm stuff?

And what do you think about that?

Do you like it? If not, Frankie did it.

I love it!

It was all me!

I need better friends.

Happy birthday, Willow.

Thanks, Frankie.

Thanks, Meels.

I knew you'd plan the perfect birthday.

Hey, Olvera.

Where's that California
beach band you promised?

Here they come now.

There is no way those three bozos

are playing this party!

Amelia, you booked Paige's Idea?

I love them!

You do?

Yeah! I've been into them
since the beginning.

They formed two days ago.

Yeah! Since then!

Well...

that's exactly why I booked them!

All me! Nobody else! Paige did nothing.

We need better friends.

Alright, boys,
you ready to rock this place?

Yeah!

What happened to your voices?

We were so excited when
you got the band back together,

that we decided to have
a screaming contest.

I won!

Maybe we should cancel.

We don't have anyone who can sing.

I think I know a singer who's available.

Happy birthday, Willow!

The boys wrote this one just for you.

♪ Willow, Willow,
Willow, Willow, Willow ♪

♪ Willow, Willow, Willow,
Willow, Willow ♪

♪ I think, maybe, your name
rhymes with "pillow" ♪

It does!

♪ Happy Birthday
Willow, Willow, Willow ♪

The boys are happy!

The house is happy!

Everyone is happy!

Yes!

I did it! I did it!

Everyone's happy!

Okay, for the record,
everyone was happy!