03x10 - Yay Area

[bunniefuu]

...about this weekend's owners' meeting.

SPENCER: Candace just
endorsed a competing offer.

- JOE: (ON PHONE) What?
- Turns out it's not Vegas she hates.

If I quit now, I control my own destiny.

I won't be nobody's pawn.

We're all paying for this
thing, but I will take control.

We're going to pass, little brother.

So, you can keep your money
or should I say, Dad's money.

Truth is maybe you have a
couple of seasons left at best,

but after that what are you?

♪

No offence, man, but I hope you
and your deal fall flat on your ass.

Join with the other investors,
Spencer. You can't win.

SPENCER: I'd rather blow up
this whole deal then to ever

kiss that m*therf*cker's ring.

Are you ready to lay down your
weapons and join a new team?

Not a chance in hell.

That's a damn shame to hear.

I'm going with the other guys.

I guess I'll see you at the showdown.

♪

♪ Kane is in the building, n*gga... ♪

(MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Now tell me how you love it,
you know you at the top ♪

♪ When only heaven's
right above it, we on ♪

♪ 'Cause we on ♪

♪ Who else is really trying
to f*ck with Hollywood Cole? ♪

♪ I'm with Marley G, bro ♪

♪ Flying Hollygrove chicks
to my Hollywood shows ♪

♪ And I wanna tell you something
that you probably should know ♪

♪ This that "Slumdog
Millionaire" Bollywood flow ♪

♪ And, uh ♪

♪ My real friends
never hearing from me ♪

♪ Fake friends write the wrong
answers on the mirror for me ♪

♪ That's why I pick and
choose, I don't get sh*t confused ♪

♪ Don't like my women single,
I like my chicks in twos ♪

♪ And these days all the
girls is down to roll ♪

♪ I hit the strip club and all
them b*tches find the pole ♪

♪ Plus, I been sippin', so this
sh*t is moving kinda slow ♪

♪ Just tell my girl to tell her
friend that it's time to go ♪

(MEN SHOUTING)

Do you know San Francisco
is consistently voted

one of the happiest cities in America?

Yeah? Then why do I feel so
f*cking miserable right now?

(SCOFFS) Heavy is the
head that wears the crown.

(CHUCKLES) The only thing I'm wearing

is a f*cking noose around my neck.

In the immortal words of Aaron Rodgers,

R-E-L-A-X.

- Oh, my God.
- This is not good for my hip.

Oh, we get it, you're
in shape. f*ck you!

So there's a competing offer,
and they stole our land,

and they have the league's blessing,

and they have a sh*t-ton of money.

Big f*cking whoop.

Competition is the
cornerstone of capitalism,

and if you can't b*at
'em, f*cking join 'em,

and then you f*ck them over later.

That's a lesser-known
cornerstone of capitalism.

Thank you.

I can't believe with the sh*t
that Candace put me through,

she's on board with another group.

- Man, f*ck her.
- Okay. You gotta suck up

your foolish pride for a second.

Lean over the plate,
take one for the team.

I promise it'll only sting for a second.

- Baseball analogies don't work on me, Joe.
- (CHUCKLES)

Well, if we merge, we stay in the fight.

Listen, there's no way that Wayne and
Candace are even gonna cut us in fairly.

Don't take this as a
lack of confidence, okay,

but when you stepped into this world,

I told you you would have to
eat your hat every now and again.

Now just seems like one of those times

to break out the Kn*fe and fork.

I'm just saying my
idea of our retirement

didn't involve you settling down
with a kid and Amber in California.

It's just a visit, T.

She trying to trap you, man,

just like Kanye said Amber
Rose did to Wiz Khalifa.

Both b*tches even named Amber.

- Don't call her no bitch.
- I didn't call her no bitch.

I'm just saying the bitch
got an ironic name is all.

Look, a man gotta take
care of his family.

We're his f*cking family, Dennis!

I gotta do this, T.

New England ain't f*cking with me,

and I ain't chasing another contract

until I get my head straight.

News flash, n*gga... your
head ain't never been straight.

Maybe Amber could change that.

Or maybe you'll just end up
neck-deep in sour titty milk

and shitty Pampers, wondering
how the f*ck you got there.

And I ain't gonna be
around to remind you.

Well, if the Lord wills it, so be it.

(SCOFFS) Oh, now Jesus
back in the house?

You're gonna need him, man.

That n*gga's in love with you.

- Spencer Strasmore.
- Oh, Jesus.

- What is it, like the third time?
- Fourth.

(SIGHS) Somebody's needy.

Hey, it's my new bestie, Spencer.

You know, it's so flattering
being courted by an ex-NFL star.

Do you want a piece of this or
not? I'm tired of f*cking around.

JULIAN: I don't take a piece of anything

unless it's a piece of ass.

I'll take that any day of the week.

What time are you getting over here?

Well...

I'm looking for a parking space now.

I should've known they
changed their minds.

The Chargers don't want
some Dolphins cast-off

who was probably
promoted too quick anyway.

JASON: I'm sorry that things
didn't pan out for you there,

but the Rams got a spot open
that they wanna talk to you about.

Let me guess, equipment manager?

General manager.

GM?

The Chargers didn't even
want me as a assistant.

No way L.A. gambles on me.

No, they're shaking
things up over there.

They just hired the youngest
coach in league history.

Theo Epstein was 30 years old

when he got the Red Sox
their first World Series,

and then another one three years later.

Yeah, then he reversed
the curse in Chicago.

Cute like you, too.

I think you and Coach would click.

Owner's in San Francisco
for the meeting,

so they got Mangini
running your interview.

I stole this from Schneider.

- Seahawks GM?
- Yeah, he's my boy.

It covers everything from handling DUIs

to finding players housing

to defensive and offensive schemes.

- Take it.
- Yeah, but you stole from your friend?

He left it in the car. I borrowed it.

No, I can't grab credit
for another man's work.

JULIE: Use it for inspiration
and make it your own.

- Like a rapper.
- Just read it fast,

because your meeting's
today in Los Angeles.

I already booked your ticket.

(SCOFFS) So you expect me

to learn all this in
five hours on the flight?

You know most of it already, Charles.

Besides, you'll be traveling
with an old study buddy.

You can do it, baby.

(CHATTER)

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

Mr. Anderson.

Get out of my way.

- (STAMMERING)
- Let go.

- Just hear me out.
- But the deal is dead.

- Now let go of my f*cking bag.
- No!

Let go of my...

Look, you can't go yet, okay?

Julian's coming in to talk.

I'm sorry, what? You
called my little brother?

Yeah, Spencer did. He
called your little brother

because with Wayne gone,
we need the extra firepower.

(CHUCKLES, SNORTS) Oh,
my God, you f*cking guys.

Look, we didn't create this situation.

We're dealing with it
the way we always do.

Stop acting like a
bitch-ass little crybaby

and just talk to your
brother like a f*cking man!

What the... what else are you gonna do?

- (MUSIC PLAYING)
- (WHISTLE TRILLS)

DEXTER: So what, you,
like, Vern's manager?

REGGIE: I handle his important business,

- like his suspension.
- (WHISTLE TRILLS)

Four games was a grave injustice.

I thought Spencer was the one
that took care of Vernon's thing.

I handled it. Walked down
there, dropped the truth.

Next thing that happened,
Vern is out with only two games

and saved $2 million in salary.

You the one that got him that weed deal.

Should be a legit product.

We made a lot of paper endorsing it

until the league started tripping.

When they finally take it off
this banned substance list,

we're gonna have a foothold.

I also put us in on the ground floor

of this virtual reality company.

Paying off huge.

A friend took me to one of them
places to play "Call of Duty."

- The sh*t gave me "PSTD."
- Ah. (CHUCKLES)

See, gonna change the way the
game is played and watched.

Oh, and the sex stuff,

n*gga, it's off the f*cking chain.

I'd rather get laid for real.

Like I said, you need
anything taken care of,

I can handle it.

(CHATTER)

Hey.

- Hi.
- How you doing?

Tired.

Wayne flew me in late last night.

Yeah, well, a secret
w*apon never sleeps.

(CHUCKLES) Well, that
wasn't the only thing

that was keeping me up.

You really pissed me off.

I know, and I'm sorry, and...

and, you know, look, you know me.

Right? I like to put things in boxes

and then sometimes I
forget about the boxes,

and then sometimes I leave
them sitting too long,

and it's... it's that
same old thing, right?

I gotta get better at it, I know.

This isn't the time for that.

Wayne has known about us for a while.

He says it's a conflict of interest.

That assh*le calls us
a conflict of interest?

Well, that assh*le put
me in a corner office.

All right, well, come work with me.

Yeah, I got a lot of
great things going on.

- It'd be amazing.
- (CHUCKLES)

You're gonna lose this deal, big-time.

Candace Brewer is in Wayne's pocket,

and she has all the influence
Wayne needs to close.

This is her golden parachute.

She's stepping down from the
league once this is approved.

I f*cking knew she was dirty.

Everyone involved in
this needs a f*cking bath.

- (PHONE BEEPING)
- Everyone.

I gotta go. Good luck later.

Okay.

(PHONE CHIMES)

f*ck.

f*cking dirty.

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ Is it so ♪

♪ I wanna let you go ♪

♪ Never can say goodbye, girl ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, baby ♪

♪ Love... ♪ (STAMMERS)

(MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES)

You need help?

I need you to shut off
the Jackson 5 concert.

You just need to loosen up.

(EXHALES)

See, you too hung up
on these Xs and Os, fam.

The key to nailing a job like this

is not to say too much,
but don't say too little.

- (SNIFFS)
- And how much is too much?

Pssh, more than you need.

And how much is too little?

Not enough.

- Real helpful, Ricky.
- (CHUCKLES)

- Thanks a lot.
- Look, well, I'm saying...

- I'm saying you got the talent...
- (SIGHS)

...you got the personality, you
got the passion and the skills.

Yeah, but I don't have the experience.

Well, the only way to get the
experience is to have the experience.

Take being a dad.

You got the experience with that?

No.

No, no, save a few books that
Julie gave me that I never read.

And yet, you're one of the
best dads I've ever seen.

Those books don't make a difference.

It's all about the
love and the instinct,

just like the game.

♪ My queen got machine g*n
hips, better duck once they go off ♪

♪ Takes aim, no intentions
to miss, oh, my... ♪

- Hello, big brotha.
- Yeah, okay, hi.

(SIGHS)

Spencer's been, uh, wooing me.

When your boy here drops the foul
language and the name-calling,

- his ideas make sense.
- (CHUCKLES)

Well, if you weren't such a
d*ck-f*ck, prick-f*ck f*ck,

then maybe we wouldn't
have to call you a name.

- Yeah.
- JOE: Julian's here to help.

Yeah, help yourself with the profits.

- Man, go f*ck yourself.
- Go f*ck yourself,

- you little f*cking cocksucker.
- f*ck off.

- (ARGUMENT CONTINUES)
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

What the f*ck?

That's how you talk to
your own flesh and blood?

God damn it.

Man, I've seen Josh Norman and OBJ

talk to each other with more respect.

- Football guys.
- Go to sleep.

Hey, you guys are f*cking
lucky to still have each other.

I'd give my right f*cking arm
to still have my brother around.

Someone who understands me,
someone I know who I can count on,

who will always be there for me.

Don't piss this away, okay?

Because it's all gonna be gone one day,

and guess what, you'll
never f*cking get this back.

Well, I'm not giving up control

- for a few extra dollars.
- (SCOFFS)

- It's not gonna happen.
- You don't have to, okay?

You guys are gonna share control
of the deal and the stadium

during and after construction.

You guys have the chance to
build something beautiful.

Together.

"Andersonville,

a place to bring your families."

Think of the irony.

I do enjoy irony.

So, how do you mooks fit into all this?

- We're the muscle.
- Yeah.

I love family,

but if you two don't
nail this presentation,

then none of this is gonna happen.

And we don't have land in Las Vegas,

but our competition does.

We don't need land in Las Vegas.

- (WHISTLE TRILLS)
- REGGIE: Yo, Dex, uh, have a great night.

Always do.

Yeah, that's what I heard,

and Vern told me you got a problem.

Yo, you told him?

Man, my bad, bro.

But Reg, he a good fixer.

DEXTER: Ain't nothing to fix.

Tape gonna leak and all
hell gonna break loose.

Can I see it?

- n*gga, the video.
- (VERNON CHUCKLES)

Let him see, Dex. He can help.

- DEXTER'S VOICE: Hey, babe, I'm recording.
- You are? Oh, wait, okay.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Come over here, Doug.

Man, why I gotta be Doug again?

- 'Cause I've always wanted to do him.
- (REGGIE WINCES)

DEXTER'S VOICE: But I'm a Cowboy,
baby. This is blasphemy.

- WENDY: Don't break character.
- Why can't I be someone else?

My Obama impression's pretty tight.

- Baby, you look so sexy.
- Uh-huh.

WENDY: Don't be shy. Give me the camera.

DEXTER'S VOICE: It's all for you.

(CHUCKLES)

I've always wanted to do
the first black quarterback

to win the Super Bowl.

Oh, baby, you've earned it.

Man, go f*ck yourselves.

- Yo, man, yo... oh, sh*t.
- (COUGHS)

Listen, man, don't even sweat this.

VERNON: Man, that sh*t
funny. It ain't nasty.

I got two words for
you... Kimberly Kardashian.

Never even f*cking existed
before she smashed Ray J on tape.

Bitch got a what, empire,

a private jet, and more money than God.

And married to Kanye, who think he God.

"Keeping Up" is her favorite show.

So if the tape just so happens to leak,

then we got this.

(SIGHS) I guess, man.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Ah, my word.

Ricky Jerret.

Ah, now I see where
she gets her looks from.

This one's for you, Ma.

Well, it's been a long time

since a man has bought me flowers.

Yeah, I don't believe that.

Is Amber home? Can I speak to her?

Oh, yeah, sweetie.

Amber! Company!

(LOCK CLICKS)

RICKY: Hey.

Uh, brought these for you.

I'll take those, yeah.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

(SIGHS) Look,

a lot of... a lot of
crazy stuff been going on.

Stuff you don't know about.

Hell, I didn't even know about,

but it forced me to drill
down on my priorities.

My priorities are you and our child.

I know I ain't earned it, but...

can you give me another chance, Amber?

Please?

If you don't kiss him now, girl, I will.

That feels like a yes.

- Of course it's a yes.
- (CHUCKLES)

- Oh, yes.
- Just so we're clear,

you're dealing with a
brother without a job.

We don't need football.

We got each other.

(CHUCKLES) And me.

Well, since we got we...

- AMBER: Mm-hmm.
- Record me, Mom?

Ha, as long as you don't
call me "Mom" again.

- It's Grandma now.
- (ALL LAUGHING)

- She liked that one.
- I know...

All right, here we go,
here we go, here we go.

What up, y'all? (CHUCKLES)

Coach Bill, Tommy
Tom, my receiving crew,

my Pats teammates, and all my fans
out there who loved and supported me

through my roller coaster of a career,

I found a new career now.

It don't pay as much, but
the perks are amazing.

So, without further ado,

it's time, it's time to
hang up my cleats and my pads

- and start my new life as a father.
- What the f*ck?

God bless you all.

- God bless America.
- (AMBER CHUCKLES)

You know Richard Sherman
came out in the fifth round?

- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.

I figure we get the right back
end playing behind that D-line,

pfft, Goff only needs to get us about
17 points a game to make the playoffs.

And that's all in the, uh...
the binder you prepared?

Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir. Right there.

Right there. Yes, sir.

(SIGHS)

So, you need all this

to tell us that our secondary is sh*t?

There's other stuff in there, too.

Like my philosophy on culture building.

Look, you're obviously very bright,

and Jason says a lot of
great things about you.

But organizationally,
we need more stability,

and, um, my gut's saying that

we're probably gonna go
in a different direction.

All right. Thank you.

Thanks for coming in.
Good luck to you, okay?

(CLEARS THROAT)

You know what? That book
ain't even mine anyway.

But if I had one, it would say that

the front office is as much of a team

as the one that we put out on the field.

Now, for me,

I want coaches, scouts, and players,

all that are good teammates.

Now, you don't win in this league

by having the biggest
or fastest athletes

or the highest payroll.

You can't time, measure, or put
a price on what's in a man's heart

or his passion for the game.

No! No, no, no.

Heart is the reason that I was
able to succeed in this league

as a player and then a scout.

And heart is the same reason
that I know I'll succeed

at bringing the Rams
back to the Super Bowl.

Now what you think about that?

I think this is the guy
that I wanted to interview.

- Sit back down.
- Yes, sir.

- (MUSIC PLAYING)
- (CHATTER)

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

- (CHATTER)
- Take care.

Joe, can you remind me

why the hell we stayed here again?

To remind ourselves we're nothing like

those pricks we're competing against.

- (SPENCER CHUCKLES)
- And I had a Groupon.

I can pretty much guaran-damn-tee

that they slept a whole hell
of a lot better than we did.

I think I need new hip surgery.

My plan is working perfectly.

You're better when you're feisty.

♪ Can I touch you to
see if you're real? ♪

I'd f*ck us.

- (ELEVATOR DINGS)
- You sure about this?

Yeah, we're sure.

Why you bothering him?
Of course he's sure.

- You're sure you're sure.
- Yes, we're fully sure.

(MEN LAUGHING)

- (SPENCER CLEARS THROAT)
- (SIGHS)

Not so sure anymore.

Who the f*ck's in there, Dave Chappelle?

Wayne's new money boys.

Well, you better have your A game.

Try not to call anyone "fuckface."

(DOOR OPENS)

ANDERSON: A regular Laugh
Factory in there, huh?

Wanted to loosen them up for ya.

Broke out some material
from the old improv days.

My stuff holds up. (CHUCKLES)

Welcome, Spencer, Joe.

And you must be the Anderson brothers.

The resemblance is striking.

It's a bad hair day for me. (CHUCKLES)

Please come in.

- Hey. Hello.
- SPENCER: Let's do it.

Hey.

Should've come with us.

Shame it ends this way.

(CHUCKLES) f*ck you.

How's that for improv? (CHUCKLES)

Excuse me. (SIGHS)

I know you're soiling the
sheets with those guys.

You want a lollipop, black Kojak?

So do they.

Wow, that was an impressive group.

How about that Wayne Hastings?

What a world-class showman he is.

- (MEN CHUCKLING)
- Had a lot of very exciting things to say.

As we're sure you do, too.

We do.

We do, but... but unlike our
competitors who just left the room,

we're not here to, uh... to wow you

on, um... on the spectacle of Las Vegas.

No, because contrary to popular belief,

football is not a... is
not a game of escapism.

I'll tell you why. When Khalil
Mack zeroes in on a quarterback

or when Derek Carr
decides to tuck it and run,

I mean, your mind
doesn't go someplace else.

No.

No, you're glued to your
seat and you're waiting,

you're waiting for that impact.

And when that collision happens,
you feel it in your bones

and you become alive
right where you're at.

I don't give a damn what the
online gambling sites say.

Football ain't fantasy.

Football is reality.

And the reality here is
that the Oakland Raiders...

they need to stay in Oakland.

(ALL MURMURING)

Well, that's, um...

ahem, a very romantic notion.

Actually, um, it's more
practical than you might think.

Hardly what we were expecting.

Oh, just like us not
expecting a competing group.

JOE: The Bay Area is a much
larger TV market than Vegas.

And that's important now that
ratings are taking a tumble.

I mean, think about
that... the Oakland Raiders,

they could take a page right out of
the Golden State Warriors' playbook.

Right? Now look at them.
They're an international brand.

Global powerhouse. They're attracting
massive superstars like Kevin Durant.

Highest TV ratings in
the league right now.

They're building a new arena. Their
merchandise is flying off the shelf.

And like the Warriors, the
silver and black is back.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

As a matter of fact,

why don't you guys take
a look for yourselves?

MELVIN OVER MEGAPHONE:
Raider Nation, what it do?!

(CROWD CHEERING)

MELVIN: When I say
"Raiders," you say "stay"!

- Raiders! Raiders!
- CROWD: Stay! Stay!

When I say "Raiders," you say "stay"!

- Raiders! Raiders!
- CROWD: Stay! Stay!

- Raiders!
- Stay!

- ALL: ♪ Raiders! ♪
- (AIR HORN BLARING)

♪ Raiders! ♪

- (CHEERING)
- (AIR HORN BLARING)

- (BOSSMAN CHUCKLES)
- Do they have permits?

(CHUCKLES)

- (CHEERING)
- (AIR HORN BLARING)

As you guys can clearly see,

the fans, they're ready
to... they're ready to watch,

they're ready to wear the colors.

When you guys uprooted the Chargers,

the fans, they were, uh...
they were justifiably upset.

(CHUCKLES) I mean, you hurt them.

Moving a third team in two years,

it's very dangerous to your brand.

Raider Nation deserves the
good fortune and revenue

that building a stadium
here will generate.

CANDACE: Thanks to you, Spencer,

Las Vegas has already
approved public funding.

That's $750 million.

It's infinitely more
lucrative to build there.

Well, no, no. Not... not...

(CLEARS THROAT)

...not if the Oakland
project is financed privately.

With my brother Julian

and his multibillion-dollar
corporation coming aboard,

taxpayers, the fans
won't have to pay a cent.

- Not one red cent.
- (MEN MURMURING)

And why on Earth would you want
to spend your own money, Julian?

Ahem, well, uh...

you know, we Andersons
like to own things outright.

Whether it's a telecom
conglomerate or a tech firm,

our family name has tremendous value.

And like all you distinguished gents...

(SUCKS TEETH) ...I got
a shitload of money.

(ALL LAUGHING)

- I love money.
- SPENCER: I mean, think about it,

using our own private money

to build a state-of-the-art
stadium in Oakland

compared to forcing the
fans to pay in Sin City,

the truth is it's gonna make all you
guys and the league look like good guys

instead of looking like a bunch of
greedy, out-of-touch, old white men.

(CHUCKLES)

- (MAN CLEARS THROAT)
- No offense.

Oh, well, offending
people is what you do.

But what he said is intriguing.

Oh, well, yes, of course,

there is some value to the argument,

but it's too big a shift right now.

That was a very good presentation

by four old whitish guys.

- (ALL CHUCKLING)
- No offense.

Well, we'll discuss it.

Thank you for coming in.

Thank you all for your time.

- Thank you.
- Yes, thank you.

(DOOR OPENS)

- Clever.
- (CHATTER)

Spencer.

Yeah.

You got a real feel for the big stage,

but you f*cked us all.

Oh, I don't think
that's the case, Candace.

You won't get the votes.

They don't want you under center,

no matter how stirring
an argument you make.

I will get the votes, and
you're gonna be out of a job.

So, really, it's just you that I f*cked.

- Mmm.
- But I wouldn't take that the wrong way,

'cause I'm just not interested.

Oh, bullshit.

You know, it's hard not
to admire your idealism.

It's almost a shame to
watch them pulverize it.

We need you a minute, doll.

It has been an absolute pleasure.

All mine, Candace. Goodbye.

(DOOR CLOSES)

- (MUSIC PLAYING)
- We should've heard by now.

It's never good leaving a room
without a definitive answer.

JOE: Unless that
definitive answer is no.

Can you get lung cancer in three hours?

That sh*t will k*ll you. Stop, Bret.

Well, I feel like I'm
dying a slow, painful death.

Maybe I should jump.

(PHONE BUZZING)

Bossman.

Glad you called.

No, good time. I was just at the gym.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Of course. I understand.

Yeah, I'll pass that along. Ahem.

(CHUCKLES) You gonna f*ck with us?

Owners love the idea of private money.

Raiders stadium is ours to build!

- (ALL CHEERING)
- Come here, you!

Get in here! This does
not happen without you.

- Oh, don't forget that.
- I will not forget that.

- Come on, Bret!
- ANDERSON: All right!

Oh, my God. Come on, let's go.

- Let's do it!
- Oh, beautiful.

- Not one "fuckface"!
- Not one. Not one.

There's just... there's just one hitch.

It's not happening in Oakland.

The f*ck you mean?

Well, they're rolling
with the original plan,

but the Vegas taxpayers
get spared the expense.

JULIAN: So, hey, okay, my dough
washes blood from their claws, right?

No big deal. It's just a bigger
piece for all of us, right?

Yeah, you got it.

The pitch was that we build
the stadium here in Oakland

and, more importantly than that, we
make sure the team stays with the people.

Yeah, we had a rally, you know?

I wrote a chant in the
tub while I was washing.

We needed to present something
radical. You did it. We did it.

You did it in spades.

They met us halfway. What's the problem?

Yeah, well, the problem is
meeting us halfway isn't my way.

Wait, hold on, are you
seriously gonna throw this away

because it's not your way?

I mean, come on, you made it, man!

- You're in this very exclusive club now.
- This is rarified air.

Well, I just decided that that's
not a club I wanna be a part of.

- So, f*ck their membership.
- (SNIFFS)

How about that?

And I'm gonna make sure we get paid.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

You guys are being
really white right now.

Morning, Marcus.

(DOOR RATTLES)

(EXHALES)

The f*ck you locking the door for?

Where the f*ck have you been?

- (EXHALES)
- This is an angry mob out here.

All right, well, they say
you never become a true leader

until your team hates you
just as much as they love you.

Oh, well, great. I've arrived, then.

So have you, by the way.

SPENCER: Who the f*ck would write that?

Throw a ball in there
and you'll hit one.

Come on, can we just go do this?

Okay, ahem, here's the deal.

Shouldn't you boys be on
a bus to nowhere by now?

We're sorry.

Okay?

Yes, we are.

And, guys, we should've never
have agreed to sell the company.

Now, Spencer and I, ahem,
we've come to realize

that babysitting stuffy,
entitled billionaires

is way less fun than minding

soulful overnight millionaires.

So we're happy to say that ASM
is officially off the sales block.

- (ALL CHEERING)
- SPENCER: All right?

And not only that...
Andersons have wired us funds

so we can expand.

- MAN: Whoo!
- Yeah, that's right.

We're talking all sports,

multiple cities,

new frontiers!

- Chicago.
- Chicago!

- L.A.
- L.A.!

- New York.
- New York!

- London.
- London!

- f*cking Budapest!
- All that sh*t!

Marrakech! The South of France!

It's your pick, anywhere you wanna go.

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

♪ 50 bands later, you the one I want ♪

♪ 100 bands later, you the one I want ♪

(VOCALIZING)

♪ 150 bands later, you the one I want ♪

♪ 200 bands, baby, you the one I want ♪

(VOCALIZING)

♪ I, I got it now,
yeah, yeah, got it now ♪

♪ I prayed for 50s, but
now I throw 100s now ♪

♪ At first, you was likey-likey,
now you love it now ♪

♪ First, I was touchy-touchy,
now I'm touching down, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ I don't think they understand,
I don't think they understand ♪

♪ I don't tell 'em about
our plans, no, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Don't tell left hand
about the right hand ♪

♪ Don't show your colors
unless it's vibrant ♪

♪ All real... move in silence ♪

♪ 50 bands later, you the one I want ♪

♪ 100 bands later, you
the one I want... ♪

(VOCALIZING)