06x23 - Love, Boat

[bunniefuu]

Dre:
I love a good family photo.

It's a way
to take in

how much our family
has grown,

and I'm not just talking about
Jack's baby 'stache.

[ Ding! I Even though
it is coming in nicely.

See, this has been a year
of growth for the Johnsons.

Junior's been working
at Stevens & Lido,

Bow's has taken nicely
to her role

as a member of the
California Board of Medicine,

and Jack and Diane got
deeper into their interests.

But no one's seen more growth
this year than my father.

The experience of love
and heartbreak

transformed him into a much
better version of himself.

Yep. The whole family
has gone through changes.

Well, everyone
except my mama.

She's always going to be

the same fierce,
stubborn, loving woman

who has always given me
great comfort.

Mama!
We're gonna be late!

Mama, what the hell
are you doing?!

[ Screaming ]
[ Screams ]

[ Screams ]

[ Screams ]

Woman, close your robe!
Boy, close the door!

Oh, sweet Black Jesus!

[ Screams ]

[ Breathes shakily ]

Please tell me
they were just wrestling.

[ Whimpering ]

I'm sorry you saw
what you saw.

We should have been
more careful.

[ Dog barking in distance ]

Rainbow,
you want to help us out?

I don't think
I'm getting through here.

Dre?

Sweetheart, your dad
is trying to talk to you.

Everything is
gonna be fine.

Are you ready to talk?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's ready.

Look, we know it's
messed up that you caught us,

and I can promise you,
it'll never happen again.

Did you hear
what your dad said?

They're never gonna sleep
with each other again, Dre.

Well,
I meant more like

Ruby was gonna learn
how to lock a door.

[ Pops and Ruby chuckle ]

- Bow?
- Okay, I'm right here.

Earl,
you so silly. [ Chuckles ]

- Bowww.
- I'm right here. I'm right here.

I'm sorry that
you found out like this.

Yeah, yeah.

But at least it gives us
a chance to come clean.

I mean, we have decided to
give our love one more sh*t.

- Mm.
- Mm! Mm.

- Rainbow: Oh, my God.
- I want you to meet my new

girlfriend, son...

- Your mama.
- [ Chuckles ]

Bow!

[ Chuckles ]

Okay, I-I don't know
what to say.

We know this is
tough for you, too,

but honestly, for us,

it's a huge weight
off our chests.

No more stolen moments alone
in the laundry room.

- Or the pantry...
- Mm.

...the garage,
the downstairs

- bathroom. - [ Stifled groan ]
- No, no. No, no.

- The pool.
- The pool.

[ Chuckles ] The
basketball court. [ Laughs ]

And on top
of the garage.

- [ Laughs ]
- Make it stop.

- [ Ruby laughs ] - I'm trying.
- Bow, make it stop.

- I'm trying. I...
- You know what? Maybe

you need some time
to process.

- Okay.
- Baby, let's go tell

our grandkids
that you're The One.

- [ Whimpers ] I'm The One.
- [ Chuckles ]

- Oh, my God.
- [ Laughing ] Yeah, I'm The One.

I'm The One.

[ Sobs ]

Back together?

- Oh.
- [ Laughs ]

I see
what's going on here.

One of you
committed a crime.

You're re-marrying
so you don't have to

testify against the other.

[ Chuckles ] The only
crime committed here

was your grandma
stealing my heart, girl.

I just don't get it.

How did you two manage
to fall back in love

after all the fighting,
the attempted poisonings,

the successful poisonings?

I don't know
that we were ever out of love.

Our story started when we were
just out of school.

I still remember
the shirt he wore

when we had
our first kiss.

Mm.

The way
his cologne smelled

when he put his arm around me
on our first date.

Mm.
You remember all of that?

It's our story, Earl.

I guess it's true what they say
about that first love.

It stays with you
for your entire life.

Wait, your entire life?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

But don't worry.

We were much older
when we met.

About 18.

- 18.
- Mm-hmm.

I'm 20.

Ah, well, then,
you better get on it,

because
once you're old enough

to buy a woman
an amaretto sour...

[Inhales sharply] you're
no longer young love, Junior.

- [ Laughs ]
- Here we go, baby.

Is my window for love
closing already?

Mm.

Was it ever truly open?

[ Sighs ]
Everywhere I look,

I think,
"Is this another place

where they made
their gruesome union?"

Alright, this doesn't
make any sense.

Alright, we all know
that it's not gonna last.

Pops is gonna find a way
to mess it up,

and when he does,
you're gonna get a Ruby classic...

Property damage,
boats, cars,

a trunk full of n*gro League
memorabilia.

- Bow, you know what?
- Hmm?

We're gonna have to get
more home insurance.

Let's hold on
for a second, Dre.

We've both seen Pops grow
immeasurably since Lynette.

Maybe this is different.

But...

working his voodoo
on my mama?

That's old Pops.

Oh. Alright,
the man is charismatic,

and when he turns the charm on,
he's irresistible.

Where do you think
I got it?

Oh, Dre.

You're having a rough day,
so I'm just gonna nod and smile.

And here my mama is,
helpless to resist his charm.

I let this man
into my home.

I let this man
drink my whiskey,

and he's gonna run game
on my mama?

Oh, no. He's gonna have to
cut that mess out.

- Mm-hmm.
- My house, my rules!

[ Smacks lips ]

Yeah.

I paid the majority of
the down payment, but sure.

"Your house."

Have your little rules.

Pops was out of pocket.

I had to give him
a piece of my mind.

Hey, it's me, Dre!

Uh, I'm here,

and I'm opening the door
now!

I'm coming in.

Come on in.

I'm having a hell of a time
keeping these orchids alive.

Alright, look, um...

I'm gonna ask you
something.

What are your intentions
with my mama?

Wait.
Um... intentions?

Yes. Intentions.

Are you trying to get her
to change her will?

Live off
her pension checks?

Of course not.
I'm gonna take care of her.

Oh, you think
I'm joking.

Man, what are your intentions
with my mother?

Are you roping her in
like you always do?

I will fight you.

Boy, if you don't get them
dish-pan hands out of my face...

I didn't rope her.
She roped me.

What?

Your mother's the one

that wanted to get
back together, son.

Hey,
it's the truth, son.

Your mom wanted to
give it another sh*t.

Black Jesus blessed me.

- So, she started this?
- I know.

It's a lot
for you to take on,

so I'm gonna give you
a pass.

But if you try and fight me
again...

[ Inhales sharply ]

...you gonna get to know
these hands.

I don't understand.

So, this was her idea?

I was just as shocked
as you are.

I never thought I'd get
another chance with her,

especially after everything
that we've been through,

so I didn't even try.

I don't know if you know this,
but I wasn't great to her.

Exactly.

Makes no sense.
You don't deserve her.

Of course
I don't deserve her.

I'm the luckiest man
on the planet

that she'd even
consider my ass.

Why do you think
I'm in here

buying flowers
and ironing sheets

and folding up throws
and crap?

I'm doing everything I can
to hold onto that woman.

- You ain't lying, are you?
- No, I am not.

And, son,
while you're here...

do you know how to fold
a fitted sheet?

Yeah.

Put your fingers
in the corner.

Once you get
the corner...

Hey, what you
got there, Mama?

Hey. Just a few shirts
for your father.

You know I can't see
a maroon velvet t*nk top

and not think of him.

Ha-ha!

You know what? Uh...

Pops said it was your idea
to get back together.

Yeah.

I don't get it, Mama.

Have you forgot
your history?

All the fighting,

which led to
the late-night crying,

which led to me
taking care of you, feeding you,

hiding your g*ns.

A kid should never have to
hide that many g*ns.

Hey, wait a minute, now.
I... I know my history.

Then why are you
repeating it, Mama?

We're not.

Now, you listen to me.

The things we used to
fight about

don't matter no more.

We don't argue
about money.

I got money.

We don't argue
about raising kids.

Y'all grown.

So, now, we can just
enjoy each other.

Things are great.

Mama, things were great
when I was a kid,

and then you blew up
his boat.

I have moved on,

and so should you.

Now I got to get this...
This t*nk top on your daddy.

[ Chuckles ]

'Cause the sooner
I get it on him,

the sooner
I get it off.

Earl! Where you at?!

[♪♪]

Well, look at this.

Coming in early to do
your first fake casting call.

Outstanding.

No?

I just needed some room
to spread out.

It's come to my attention

that I need to find
the love of my life

- in the next couple, I don't know, years.
- Well, the choice is obvious.

Choose her.

Why is that obvious?

Well, she seems bright,

like she comes from
a good family, and, uh...

Well, I can't really
put my finger on it.

I mean, it's, uh...

Wow. Now I see it.

I think I...
may have a problem.

What's going on here?

Uh, Junior here is looking
for love of his life.

Oh. She's cute.
Pick her.

That's Niecy.
She hates me.

But based off
my grandparents' love,

that would be
the right move.

Looks like
someone's realizing

that they're running out of time
to find true love, hmm?

Who's this
caramel queen?

Junior: That's Sky.

We kind of have
a "will they, won't they"

- sort of thing.
- Mm.

People find it
delightful.

- [ Chuckles ]
- Hmm.

Still, it can be
any one of them.

Man, why is this
so hard?

You're too
in your head.

It's a game of fate.

And there's only one way
to play a game of fate.

My... mother... said
she... would... b*at... my... ass

if... I... wasn't... home...
by... 6:30.

Uh...
P.M.

Pacific time.

Saturday.
Eh...

That one.
Alright.

Oh. Oh. Ha-ha.

Wow.

Hmm.
Sky.

Mm-hmm.

That makes
complete sense.

She's funny,
she's smart.

Whenever we cross paths,
sparks fly.

We've just never
really launched.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

Of course it's Sky.

- Mm-hmm.
- Hey.

Go to her.

And here's
a thousand dollars.

This is gonna require
a grand gesture,

and you cannot
put love on layaway.

Okay.

I'm gonna do it.

My love story
begins today!

Aww.
Go get her, man.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Doesn't fate work
in mysterious ways?

Does it?

- [ Chuckles ]
- Charlie.

My folks acted like
they invented love

and carried on rewriting their
history all around my house.

What the hell?

Bow?

Rainbow: Yeah?

What's up?

This.

Oh. I know.

I took that down
earlier today,

and they put it
back up bigger.

I am so ready
for this to be over.

[ Groans ]
Pops: Ooh-hoo!

- Are you kidding me?
- What is that?

What the hell
is that?

Woman, are you crazy?
You bought...

Why'd you buy a boat?

[ Chuckles ]

I bought it
for you, Earl.

What better symbol
of us starting over

than me replacing
the very thing I blew up?

Here.

- Aww.
- Hmm.

There's my handsome baby.

Well, it's nice to know

that just 'cause
something gets destroyed,

it doesn't mean you can't piece
it all back together again.

Mm. Mwah.

Thank you, baby.

- Can you believe this?
- Look at you.

This is so romantic.

What?

I believe
in their love, Dre.

I-I'm sorry.
I-I just do.

You want to go with me
on a multi-day trip

around Catalina?

[ Chuckles ]

Earl, we can literally
sail off into the sunset.

Only if you wear
this bracelet I got you.

Ooh!

It's in
a little velvet box...

up under my pillow.

Ooh, under your pillow?
[ Chuckles ]

Let's go, baby.
Hey!

Disgusting.

[ Door opens ]

They...
are making love, Dre.

[ Door closes ]
In the truest sense.

They are making love
right before our eyes.

Are you serious?

Their relationship
and that boat

will be reduced to ashes
before bikini season.

- Dre.
- No.

You have no idea if
this is gonna be a disaster.

I don't know.

I think we're just gonna
have to let this play out,

see what happens.
[ Sighs ]

I-I like the way
that things were, alright?

Everybody was
getting along.

It was perfect.
My mother was happy.

What...
I-If that explodes now,

all of that goes away.

You don't know
what's gonna happen.

- Yes, I do.
- No.

Because it always happens,
and when it does...

...I'm gonna lose my Pops.

Oh.

That's what this is.

Yes, Bow.

I figured it out
at the same time as you,

so please, don't pat
yourself on the back.

[♪♪]

Hey, Mama, can I talk
to you for a second?

Don't come for me
over that boat.

I can afford it.

My Jersey Mike's franchise
has been very good to me.

Look, Mama, I...
[ Chuckles ]

I just want to
apologize for before.

I was tripping.

Look, you...

are always
my number one,

and I'm gonna be
a little overprotective.

But I can see it's different
between you and Pops.

Ooh, Dre, it really is.

But that's
the thing, Mama.

When the two of you break up,
I have to choose you

because I put you
before everybody.

I never missed
having a dad

because you were
everything to me.

But, Mama, for the first time,
Pops and I are good.

I never expected to have
the relationship with him

that I have now.

And if I choose you,
that means losing him.

So, can you
take a b*at...

and step back?

Oh, Dre.

No.
What?

That's not the way
it works, baby.

But I'm scared that
I'm gonna lose my dad again.

Come on, Mama.
Do this for me.

I have been putting you
first your entire life, Andre.

I'm not doing it
this time.

- But, Mama, sometimes...
- Don't "but" me!

I'm grown!

Well, then you're gonna have
to be grown some place else.

What are you
talking about?

My house, my rules.

Either you break up
with my daddy,

or the both of you
have to move out.

Fine.

We will be out
by the end of the week.

[♪♪]

I like the nightstand.
I'm taking it with me.

[♪♪]

For the first time in my life,

my mother had chosen
someone else over me.

Luckily, I had Bow
to comfort me.

You know...

I fantasized a lot

about the day
your mother would move out.

The news crews would come
to get my reaction.

There would be fireworks
and a crawl under my face

that says,
"Dr. Rainbow Johnson, Survivor."

You really gonna
do this now?

After I just had to
kick my own mother out?

Bow, I've been with her
through divorce and eviction

and when she found out
that Bobby Caldwell was white.

I've always been
her number-one guy,

and she chose
another man over me.

Dre, she did not choose
another man over you.

She chose herself.

I know that you see
Ruby as your mother,

but that's not
all she is.

She's a woman with desires
and vulnerabilities,

and you wouldn't
understand that

'cause you're her son,
and that's not your job.

It's her time now.

But what if this thing
doesn't work out, huh?

How am I supposed to
live through that again?

You and I
have both been saying

that it's different
this time,

but it's not just them.

It's you.

And you said it
yourself.

You've always been there
for your mom.

You really want to
stop doing that now?

Dre, she's on her way
to Catalina.

Talk to her.

[♪♪]

Yeah.

I can't leave it
like this.

No.

She's the best woman
I know.

W...

Wow.

Right to my face.

Okay.

Thanks for
helping me out, guys.

Diane, you are totally awesome
for offering to film this.

I feel like
the world needs to see

- what's about to happen.
- Mm-hmm.

Jack, you got
the music cued up?

Cued up
to get boo'd up.

Alright.

There she is.
Jack, music.

♪ For real, for real,
for real this time ♪

Sky!

Sky!

Your Prince Charming is here!

♪ Oh, you make my earth quake ♪

[ Ding, ding! ]
♪ Riding around ♪

♪ Your love is shakin' me up
and it's making my ♪

- Jazz?
- ♪ Heart break ♪

Why?

Why are you
like this, man?

And... cut.

I can't wait to hear
why you made

such a huge fool of
yourself right now.

I'm okay being
a fool for love.

[ Horse whinnies ]
Where's Sky?

I don't know.
Text her.

Okay, this is
a grand gesture.

You can't text
a grand gesture.

And look, I know me and Sky
are in this

weird "will they,
won't they" thing,

but I'm trying to
write our love story.

Junior, I know you're
looking for a story,

but you can't force it.

There's a mystery,
a romance to these things.

Well, what do you think
I'm trying to do here? I mean...

It looks like you're trying to
manufacture something.

You got to
just let love happen.

You don't write it.
You experience it.

- You do?
- Yes.

And, hey, one day,
when you're least expecting it,

you'll meet someone
just as earnest

and unbearable as you.

You really mean it?

I don't know, bitch.
I don't work for you.

I'm at school.
Go home.

[♪♪]

[ Bell ringing ]

Ooh, I'm so happy
my babies came to see us off!

[ Laughs ]

I'm happy for you,
Grandma.

At least love is
working out for someone.

Not all of us are meant to
have some grand love story

where we're swept off
our feet

when we're
least expecting it.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Ruby, come on. We gotta go
'cause the wind's kicking up.

So's my pill.

- Okay, baby.
- Hmm?

[ Boat horn honks in distance ]

- Dre: Mamaaaa!
- Rainbow: Okay, we are coming!

- Mamaaaa!
- Okay.

- Mama, wait!
- Okay.

Boy, I should
b*at your ass

for making me think you weren't
coming to see me.

Look, Mama, I'm sorry
for how I was acting, alright?

You and I have
gone through a lot,

and whatever's gonna
happen next,

I'm gonna go through that
with you, too.

Well, I hope so.

'Cause you kick me out
of the house again,

you gonna get
to know these hands.

[ Chuckles ]

Come here.
[ Laughs ]

Mm.

Oh, Dre, I really think
it's gonna work this time.

[ Boat engine starts ]

I think so, too.

- [ Boat horn honks ]
- Okay.

Well, we're off!

- Bobby Caldwell's "What You
Won't Do For Love" plays ... - Diane!

You got it!
Okay, where's the champagne?

Turns out they wouldn't
sell alcohol to me,

but I got
the next best thing.

- Ooh.
- Uh-huh.

This is why I never
give you jobs.

[ Sighs ]

♪ I guess you wonder ♪
Goodness gracious.

♪ Where I've been ♪

♪ I searched to
find a love within ♪

♪ I came back to let you know ♪

[ Gasps ]
Oh!

Oh, crap!

I'm so sorry!

No, no,
it's totally okay.

Okay, good.

I'm Olivia.

♪ My friends wonder
what is wrong with me ♪

♪ Well, I'm in a daze
from your love, you see ♪

- I'm proud of you.
- Hm?

I know this wasn't easy.

- ♪ I came back to let you know ♪
- Yeah. Well, you know,

somebody told me

that I was a grown man
and that whatever happens...

- Mm.
- ...I could handle it.

Yeah.

You wouldn't last
two minutes

in this world
without her.

Nope.

♪ But they may never find
what they dream of ♪

♪ What you won't do ♪

- ♪ To do for love ♪
- [ Laughs ]

♪ You tried everything ♪

Like I said, it's been
a year of changes

- ♪ In my world ♪
- for everyone. Even me.

♪ Only you ♪

♪ Make me do for love
what I would not do ♪

[♪♪]