Kane is in the building, n*gga...
Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top
When only heaven's right above it,
we on
'Cause we on
Who else is really trying to f*ck
with Hollywood Cole?
I'm with Marley G, bro
Flying Holly Grove chicks
to my Hollywood shows
And I wanna tell you something
that you probably should know
This that
Slumdog Millionaire Bollywood flow
And...
My real friends never hearing from me
Fake friends write the wrong
answers on the mirror for me
That's why I pick and choose
I don't get sh*t confused
Don't like my women single
I like my chicks in twos
And these days all the girls
is down to roll
I hit the strip club
and all them b*tches find the pole
Plus, I been sippin'
So this sh*t is movin' kinda slow
Just tell my girl to tell her friend
that it's time to go
It's been a minute, big bro.
I'm sorry
I didn't get down here sooner.
Not that I didn't want to come,
it's just that funerals and cemeteries
just aren't my thing.
Yeah, but f*ck it, we'd better get
used to it, huh? We're gettin' old.
Well, I'm getting old.
You know,
tomorrow is National Signing Day.
I still remember when you declared.
Dad was goin' crazy.
And I was so proud of you.
It's a real shame
it all had to end the way it did.
f*ck the NCAA.
Mr. Granville?
Mr. Robert Granville, right?
How ya doin' today?
Not bad. How 'bout yourself, son?
Oh, fantastic. Can you
hold this for a second?
You've been served.
And here, have an Americano on me.
All right, enjoy. I'm out.
Today, you and I are
gonna take the fight to 'em.
It's been a long time comin'.
But as they say...
Payback's a bitch.
I'll catch you around, big bro.
Fear the brow.
I love AD.
He's a modern-day Bill Russell.
You think
I should grow my unibrow back?
What do you think? I had one.
Like dude from Sesame Street?
Like Bert, right?
- Yeah.
- But dressed like a pedophile.
You know what?
Jokes about sexual predation
aren't funny anymore.
Maybe, you should
check out the news sometime.
- My homies! How goes it?
- Hey...
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Nah, it's all good.
What's shakin', pal?
Okay, I hope you guys haven't changed
your vibe about our pitch.
I'm sorry to say we did.
But out of respect,
I wanted to tell you in person.
- I'm just f*ckin' with y'all!
- f*ck! What?
Why would you do that to me?
Jokes are only funny when
you're delivering the punchlines, huh?
- Eh...
- Funny m*therf*ckers,
it's too early for the comedy.
Why in the hell did y'all wake us up?
The truth is, we loved
what you guys pulled together.
And it gave us the idea
for something bigger.
- Huge.
- I like big.
Now, you're talkin' our language.
Kyrie, KD, Serena, Cristiano Ronaldo,
what we do is fuse the soul
with the sole.
And nobody does it like us.
Sweet Lou, grab 'em.
What we wanna do is create
the shoe for your skatepunk kids.
- Wow.
- These just got back from the lab.
They're just a sample.
We're open to any ideas you guys have.
Uh-huh.
- But that's just the half.
Check this out.
Look at this. Look at you!
Mmm!
Watch this.
- Whoa!
- Okay.
- That's pretty good!
- Yo! I see what you're doing.
Yeah. You guys should definitely
keep the color, whatever you do.
It's like a DMT trip,
you know, when you're getting sh*t
down the boomerang pipe
really fast, you're goin' really...
I can tell by your faces, no.
Sorry, guys. I'm so sorry.
This is the League office calling.
Hi. Ms. Brewer. You sure you called
the right ASM partner?
Well, Mr. Krutel, your partner isn't
responding to calls, texts, or emails,
so, he left me no choice
but to bother you.
Okay, well, it's no bother.
What can I help you with?
I think it's the other way around.
Okay, sure.
What can you help me with?
Well, I'm guessing from your comedic
one-liners that you don't know.
- Know what?
- Spencer Strasmore filed a lawsuit
against the NCAA this morning.
Breathe in...
Exhale.
You're lookin'
pretty fluid there, big brother.
I am fluid. Though I wish Rashard
were a 22-year-old Asian massage girl.
- That would be better.
- I can make that happen. For a price.
No, no, no. No Asian massage.
You'll end up having a stroke
and staying an extra six months...
- Well, f*ck!
- f*ck what? Your kidney?
No, the TV.
Rashard, turn it up, will ya?
...is intrinsically corrupt.
The NCAA has responded
by counter-suing Strasmore,
claiming that intent to purchase
the rights for USC sports
with the financial backing
of the Anderson brothers
has breached
his fiduciary responsibilities.
Fire up the jet! We're gonna
turn this deal into roadkill.
And back over it, twice!
Good morning, good morning,
Jerrets! What's up, baby?
Y'all take a vow of silence,
or something?
I'm gonna make myself a smoothie.
Yeah, y'all need a smoothie?
Y'all want one?
Yeah, sure.
You know, I want a strawberry-banana,
and you can mix some of
that sh*t right there into it.
I feel like gettin'
nice and swole up today.
- This here?
- Yeah.
I don't know nothin' about this.
"Ana..." I can't even say this sh*t.
What is this?
Let me help you. It's Androstenedione.
- Anabolic steroid.
- AKA a PED.
What, you been hangin' with
Jonny Bones Jones lately?
Stop the bullshit, Ricky.
This isn't gonna be
a deny-till-you-die situation.
Who found it?
Oh, right, right.
Y'all are in this together.
Like when they merc'ed bin Laden,
never know who the sh**t is.
- Bunch of f*ckin' snoops.
- Nobody snoopin', Rick.
I found it in the trash
when I was looking for my Invisalign.
Which, by the way, is still...
How about
I knock your f*ckin' teeth out
for bringing this sh*t in my house?
- You won't need no Invisalign!
- Don't f*ckin' deflect.
Your boy's just trying
to look out for you.
What is this, an intervention?
You the morality police?
You're one to squawk, Dennis.
I know what you had to do
to play in the '80s.
And TTD, Mr. Opportunistic.
And my girl!
You're supposed to have my back!
Ride or die, remember?
My little Tupac!
I know where you're from.
Remember that.
- I mean, who are y'all?
- Your family.
The only ones concerned
about your health.
We ride with you,
but not without voicing our opinions.
Well, you know what,
it sounds like y'all are judgin' me.
We're not judgin' you,
but we are disappointed.
Gonna tell your friend, Charles? Hmm?
I mean,
he put his ass on the line for you.
On a new job, at that.
Look at you.
Always lookin' out just for yourself.
Learned from the best, right?
Look, you better stop worrying
about my bad habits.
I'm old and stubborn.
But you better start
lookin' at yourself.
Now, you gonna tell your boy, Charles,
when you talk to him later?
He's your friend, man.
Nope. I ain't gonna say a damn thing,
and neither are y'all.
Or this family, we're gonna be
up sh*t's creek for real.
You know,
it was a common practice
in Ancient Rome
for the emperor to, uh...
To allow a moment for the accused
to renounce his beliefs
before going into battle.
Confessions aren't my thing, Joe,
and I've never been afraid of a fight.
You haven't been
thrown to lions, either.
They're a lot more ferocious
than guys in three-point stances.
Well, maybe I'm dumb,
but I have no fear.
What you have is arrogance.
Don't be naive.
People are not going to be happy
until you're torn to shreds!
The NCAA and the NFL
are comin' after our asses!
Yeah, that's right.
That's right. My ass, too.
The NFL?
Yeah! Yeah,
they sicced the dogs on us.
- Who?
- Candace called
and threatened to
revoke our registration.
Don't care about any of it.
f*cking delusional!
The way you rationalize sh*t!
You took $250 million
from the brothers Anderson,
and you partnered
with a 17-year-old boy
on a regional sports network.
Do you have any idea
how f*cked up you are?
I do.
And none of it's gonna affect you.
Great. Thank you.
Nothing more valuable
than a guarantee from a liar.
Bring me Jerret's contract!
Should've been waiting
on my desk already.
Sorry, sir. Bringing it now.
What's up, Rick?
So, Greane,
let's get this thing goin' and signed,
so, I can get back to doing
what I do best.
Settle in. Ain't no rush.
Slow down. Enjoy the moment, brother.
I have to admit, I really didn't
want this to happen for a while.
When that whole situation
with the Whites went down,
I didn't know what to do.
It's funny, though, the whole thing,
it just challenged my character,
and I came out the other side
the better for it.
How'd it challenge your character?
Well, by forcing me
to choose a side, for one.
Guess we know how that turned out.
We sure do. Sittin' there,
right in front of you.
Go ahead and sign up, baby.
Congratulations.
You know, Chuck,
character is a crazy-ass thing.
Don't know what it is,
but you know what it isn't.
Mmm. Well said, Rick.
Pour myself a drink, on that note.
Sometimes, we don't recognize it
- in ourselves till it's too late...
- Mmm.
...and the damage has been done.
You know, me myself, I'm of the mind
that it's never too late.
I don't think
we should go there, Chuck.
Hmm?
Go where?
Lay on you what I been cookin' up.
Oh, shucks. I just had
a full plate of steak and eggs,
so, whatever you cookin',
you can keep to yourself.
- God is speaking to me right now.
- He ain't speakin' to me.
Now don't lock the Lord out, bro.
Ricky, is this gonna upset me?
'Cause if it is,
just keep it to yourself.
I been usin' PEDs.
What'd I just say?
What did I say?
I told you not to tell me!
What is wrong with you, Ricky?
What is this undying need you have
to f*ck over the people who love you?
Damn it! God damn!
Let me tell you how this plays out
from here on forward.
If you play great, we're winners.
If you test dirty after, say,
the fifth game or something like that,
I'm clippin' your punk ass.
No conversation,
no apology, no bullshit,
no, "Wait, Chuck, I need to talk,"
none of that.
You never told me.
- Hey! You understand?
- Yeah.
You never told me. Ever!
Now, sign the motherfuckin' deal,
you piece of sh*t.
Glazed and Confused, on location,
coming to you live here,
from sunny Southern California.
Folks, I've gotten a lot of
big stories in my day,
but really nothing compares
to what you're about to see.
Some stories are local,
some are national,
this one changes the world.
With that, I'm welcoming
the one and only Spencer Strasmore
on the day that he dropped
a massive lawsuit on the NCAA.
Yeah, sometimes,
the only way to affect change
is with a fight, Jay, you know that.
Whether it's college athletes, college
athletics, or the world at large...
Are you for real?
You beg me to go for a run,
and now, you got your face
buried in your phone?
...the modern era,
and that hasn't happened yet,
and I, for one, am f*ckin' sick of it.
This f*ckin' guy.
I ask him to do me a favor
for my friend, Jayda,
and in pure Spencer fashion,
he goes out and pimps her son instead.
- Did you f*ck her?
- f*ck who?
You know who the f*ck who.
Your friend Jayda.
No. I didn't f*ck her. All right?
She's a friend from law school.
What kind of whore do you think I am?
I'm the one gettin' f*cked.
Now, I'm getting ready
to go old school, Curt Flood style,
so, get ready for the revolution.
First and foremost, Jay...
Thinks he's f*ckin' Billy Graham.
Sweetheart! Balvenie, neat.
First of all, her name
isn't "sweetheart," it's Hannah.
And secondly,
I just gave you a new kidney.
I'd appreciate it
if you didn't abuse it.
I don't care what her name is,
the kidney you gave me
was far from new,
and now that it's in my custody,
I'll do with it as I please.
...peace of mind
because, Spencer, with this,
they are going to come at you hard.
What the sports world
needs to understand is,
whether it's Chapel Hill,
whether it's Lubbock,
whether it's Stillwater,
or whether it's Tallahassee,
there is a street and a stadium
that has been built on the back
of a kid who used to play there.
Some of them went on to greatness,
but many more ended up anonymous.
And the sad part is,
they weren't able to cash in
when they had something worth selling.
they can all max out on their talents,
except football players.
And that ain't right.
That's bullshit.
Everybody deserves
to earn a few beans.
Hell yeah, they do, paisan.
It's time these kids gain control,
because when they're done,
no one will know who they are.
It really is
a tragedy of the unknown.
Names, faces, people, families,
they've all given more
than they've gotten back.
This is starting
to sound personal for you.
It is. I'm talkin' about family.
And when I talk family,
I'm talkin' about my brother,
William Strasmore II,
who was named after my Pops.
I knew him well, had a chance
to meet him back in the day.
That kid loved to play.
And his greatest joy was
always on the football field,
and that was taken away from him.
Are you talkin'
about the shoulder injury?
I'm talkin' about
these bullshit rules.
The transfer rules
that let the coaches leave,
but yet lock the players up.
The sneaker deals for the programs,
and these f*cking ridiculous
eligibility rulings, all right?
It's all just another way
to keep these players in check.
They wouldn't reinstate him.
They wouldn't give him back
his last year of eligibility.
It's just typical
institutional bullshit.
This has clearly taken a toll on you.
It's put me in a very dark place.
But I'm not looking for sympathy,
I don't need it.
I'm only looking for accountability.
They took his career
because of a rule.
But from me, they took my brother,
and all the things that we were
destined to experience together.
An achievement means nothing
unless you can share it
with the ones you love.
So, this fight is in memory
of William Strasmore Il,
and all the other Williams coming up.
The NCAA has officially
been put on notice.
Felicia. Jesse, Jesse, Jesse.
You, too. Take that sound bite, okay?
Take that clip right there,
have every single employee here
post it,
tweet it, 'Gram it, Snap it,
blast it,
call in favors
to all of our media contacts,
traditional and social.
Carpet-b*mb the m*therf*ckers.
Operation William has begun.
Just wait here.
Good luck.
How you all doin' today?
Feels good to be off the 405
and up high in the sky, huh?
Sorry for those of you
expecting Sarah Huckabee.
She was busy searchin' for the truth.
Today, we continue our undying pursuit
of bringing a Super Bowl
to Los Angeles.
And it is with the full support
of Mr. Kroenke and Coach McVay
that I'm here to announce
that our future has gotten
a little bit brighter,
and we've gotten one step closer
to achieving that goal.
It is with great pleasure
that I can announce
my very first
free-agent signing as GM.
This young man is someone
I've known on the gridiron and off,
we've forged a bond.
We go back to our days in Florida,
he's a special player
and a special man.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please join me in welcoming
the one, the only,
Mr. Kisan Teague!
There he is.
Put that on.
Wow.
Man.
As a kid who grew up in LA,
this is truly a special moment
for me, it really is.
I can't stress enough
how excited I am to be here,
be with this organization,
help them win them Super Bowls
that you were talkin' about.
I might even start drinking
almond milk or something,
I don't know.
What y'all think? That's what
y'all do out here, right?
Seriously, as Dorothy once said,
"There's no place like home, baby."
Especially if home is Newport Beach.
Hey, don't say that,
Tasha listenin' in.
Any questions for the man?
Roger?
Hey.
Let me take these
off your hands, all right?
Here. Thank you.
Hope you're not expecting me
to jump in your arms
like Whitney g*dd*mn Houston.
Given your physical states,
I'd be happy to jump into yours.
Not even if I was
in peak physical condition,
and desperately gay.
What the f*ck are you doing here, Joe?
You gonna pick up our bags,
take us to the hotel?
Oh, sh**t.
Well, no, I wasn't planning on that,
but if that's what it takes
for you to delay
your execution of Spencer's deal,
then I am happy to do it.
The only satellite bill
we're willing to pay for
is our monthly DirecTV,
and even that's too much.
Listen, I understand
that you guys are disappointed
in the way that things have unfolded,
perhaps even frustrated.
"Perhaps even frustrated." Hmm.
Where'd you get that idea from?
Because frustration
is a state that I perpetually live in.
But I am here to tell both of you that
that is changing rapidly.
Not rapidly enough for us.
Hell, it's imminent.
Listen, "Spencer Strasmore"
is trending.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. "Trending"?
- You just say "trending"?
- Yeah.
- What the f*ck is "trending"?
- Social media, Grandpa.
All the kids are doin' it.
Postin' food and stuff,
- dogs, f*ckin' kangaroos...
- I think I get it.
Spencer sent you out here
with a boatload of horseshit
to do his bidding for him.
- Is that the idea?
- No, he didn't. I came on my own.
I don't think you guys
are grasping the situation here.
People are talking about Spencer.
And we're supposed to care?
Well, they do. Look, let me
show you what's going on here.
- Look at this. Look.
- Oh, boy.
"Spencer is single-handedly
"changing the face
of college athletics.
- "He is effecting change."
- Right.
How does that benefit us?
I'm sure he has a plan.
Oh, he's got a plan.
Would you bet your life on that?
Would you bet your legacies
that he doesn't?
Let me ask you this question.
What side of history
do you guys want to be on,
the greedy white men robbing young
urban superstars of their futures?
It's the foundation upon which
this country was built.
Or do you want to fight for equality
and get rich in the process?
You're living in a dream world, Joe.
Those two things don't go together.
Yeah. In this case, they do, Bret.
Twelve-year-old tech geniuses
in Palo Alto
could buy and sell your asses
a hundred times over.
A moron bullshitted his way
into the Oval Office
by doing nothing more
than lying and doubling down.
- Careful.
- The world has changed.
You guys may as well
take credit for it.
- Do I need to call security?
- I wouldn't imagine.
- Is there a private room we can use?
- Sure is.
Would you like me to leave
these gentlemen behind?
f*ck no.
I like to leave a witness alive.
Quincy Crawford is a special player,
and it would be a shame for him
to be denied the chance
to play collegiate football.
I realize that
I could never forgive myself
if I didn't do everything I could
to make that happen.
And think about all
the potential revenue loss.
So jaded.
Needless to say, my people
may have been a little heavy-handed
in dealing with the situation,
but I'm offering you
Quincy's eligibility back.
He will be reinstated immediately,
as long as you agree to drop the suit.
- No chance.
- Excuse me?
Unfortunately, for Quincy,
but mostly for you,
this whole thing is
much bigger than all of us,
so, my answer is no.
You are one arrogant f*ck.
It's one of my greatest qualities.
But I have an offer for you.
You reinstate Quincy immediately,
and you pay the players.
As you so eloquently put it,
"no chance."
Lick envelopes...
Sneakin' in the side door, huh?
Make people feel weirder
than they already do.
- Look at his face.
- Yeah, okay, well,
nobody has to walk on eggshells.
No, because you already
broke all the g*dd*mn eggs.
Sorry. Sorry. Dude, I'm not
here to att*ck you, I'm really not.
I'm actually here to say
I got your back.
I get what you're up to here.
I actually think it's noble.
That's very kind words, buddy,
but you should focus on yourself.
I mean, you've earned it.
Look at this place.
- You got this place hummin'.
- Yeah, thank you for noticing.
The team has worked very, very hard.
But you know I would chuck
it away in one second,
go down on the proverbial ship, right?
I actually look forward to it,
to tell you the truth.
Me and you floating in the ocean,
Celine Dion playing
My Heart Will Go On,
some sh*t like that?
I've proven to myself that I can lead,
so, I'm good with whatever follows.
What the f*ck are you doing?
I'm making good on my promise, Joe.
I said that
I wouldn't let any of this affect you,
or anybody that works here,
or at ASM, and I won't.
I'm resigning.
- You're what?
- I'm out, brother.
It's all yours.
I'm sorry I dragged you through it.
I heard what you said.
I don't accept it.
So, if you wrote some eloquent letter,
keep it in your pocket...
f*ckin' burn it, I don't know.
I do not accept it.
Is it the Andersons?
'Cause I got them under control.
Don't have to worry about them.
Joe, it's done. It happened.
Here.
This'll save you from
getting new locks,
and all my other sh*t here,
you can send it somewhere,
I just need to figure out where.
I'm really sorry
I failed you on this one.
Call you later.
With an outpouring
of support for quarterback Crawford,
the NCAA has relented
on their declaration.
In a matter of moments,
Signing Day will begin.
And with that, we go live
to Santa Ana, California,
to the home of Quincy Crawford.
Now that the NCAA has
reinstated Crawford's eligibility,
chances are the rich
are about to get richer.
One top-flight program
is about to land
the most sought-after
high school recruit in history.
Bulldogs.
Wolverines.
They got a Jordan deal...
But no.
- I knew it.
- All right.
- Yeah.
- Buckeyes.
Hell, yeah! Yeah!
I've worked long and hard
for this opportunity,
and I never would
have realized my dream
without my beautiful mom
being by my side the whole time.
And to all the people
who've helped me along the way.
Thank you.
What's this all about?
I'd tell you,
but you wouldn't understand.
Try me. I'm a smart guy.
Have you ever seen
a movie called The Sting?
My former partner just shows up
on a Friday night.
I don't know if you're the reason
my balls are tingling,
or if this MDMA is finally kicking in.
So, the new Lance
is a non-sober Lance.
Yeah, this is, sadly, Old Lance.
Old Lance has k*lled New Lance.
You know, I've relapsed hard, Joe.
The demons are back, man,
but, you know, tomorrow
is another day to fight again.
Yeah, yeah, brand-new possibilities.
I've really missed you, mate.
Hey, how ya gettin' on?
How are you surviving?
Um...
I've managed to avoid
the death penalty.
More than can be said for Lady Diana.
Yeah. No, she did not fare too well.
Hey, um, listen, I've been thinking...
I remember Joe thinkin',
high on 'shrooms back in the day,
thinkin' out there
on the mental-edge lands,
crazy and howling into the night.
"Monica! Monica!"
We never found out
who she was, did we?
That was my wife.
You didn't make that clear
in your ranting.
What do you say
we bring back the good old days,
and, you
buy back into the company
and we partner up again.
Just you?
Without the other man?
Yeah, without the other man.
I can tell you don't really
want to get into that,
and I seen the news and stuff.
I can't imagine how you're feeling,
but I'm in no rush to get off
this chaise longue right now,
not least because the floor
appears to be made of magma.
Yeah, thinking's overrated. f*ck it.
Yeah, and sobriety's overrated.
Yeah.
Hey, Joe,
how about you and I
go on a journey tonight
with Mother Ayahuasca,
and fight those demons together?
04x09 - There's No Place Like Home, Baby
Watch/Buy Amazon
"Ballers" is a look at former and current football players, their families, friends, and handlers.
"Ballers" is a look at former and current football players, their families, friends, and handlers.