03x09 - Evil Patrol

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Doom Patrol". Aired: February 2019 to present.*
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A team of traumatized and downtrodden superheroes comes together to investigate weird phenomena.
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03x09 - Evil Patrol

Post by bunniefuu »

- [SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Okay, so the idea...

- is that we're going to be synchronized.
- Yes.

Right, because it's going
to be much more impressive.

Yes, it's called "Woman Petting Cat".

You can change into a cat?

Well, yes, of course
I can turn into a cat.

I can turn into anything I like.

That said, I will not be
turning into a cat.

I will be turning into a bird.

- A bird!
- [IMITATING BIRD NOISES]

[CHUCKLES] Why?

Because I'm allergic to cats.

'Cause Shelly's allergic to cats.

[SHELLY] I can't be near them.

And neither of us could be
f*cked changing the title.

Yes. No, you are my catbird.

Wow, this is the most amazing
thing I have ever heard.

- Mmm-hmm, catbird.
- [SCREAMS]

This is going to be a smash success.

When people see that you can change

from a bird into a woman,

they will be absolutely captivated.

Yeah, well, that's not
what it's about, Bendy.

[SHELLY] No, no.

My power is my power.

My art is my art.

The project isn't about
a woman transforming.

It's about a woman becoming
herself, like both of us.

Yes, the dance will showcase
our inner selves,

far more than any meta-human
abilities ever could.

[MADAME ROUGE]
That is why we make art, Bendy.

The world is complicated,

even when they try to make it simple.

w*apon, not a w*apon, w*apon,
not a w*apon. See what I mean?

Absolutely, I do.

Art is the only path.

The only path through this messy life

is paved with moments
of pure expression.

[IMITATES expl*si*n]

[MADAME ROUGE] What
will your dance be? [GASPS]

- My dance?
- Yes.

- [SOFTLY] Come on.
- [GIGGLES]

Oh, here we are.

[CHUCKLES]

[RITA CLEARS THROAT]

Feel yourself. Here we go.

[RITA EXHALES]

Very good.

[EXHALING, SINGING] ♪ Love me ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪

♪ Love me ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪

♪ Love me ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪

♪ Please ♪

♪ Love me ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪

[ALL SINGING] ♪ Love her ♪

♪ Don't look at her ♪

♪ Love her ♪

♪ Don't look at her ♪

♪ Love her ♪

♪ Don't look at her ♪

- ♪ Please ♪
- ♪ Love her ♪


♪ Don't look at her ♪

♪ Love her ♪

♪ Don't look at her ♪

♪ Love her ♪

♪ Don't look at her ♪

♪ Love her ♪

- ♪ Don't look at her ♪
- [CHEERING]

- Yes, yes.
- Yes!

[EXHALES]

- [CHUCKLES]
- That was a moment of pure expression.

- [SHELLY] Uh.
- [LAUGHS IN AGREEMENT]

It was a lie... all of it.

You may have been able to spin
things with the Sisterhood,

but you can't fool me.
I was there in .

You never wanted to change
the world through art.

You never even cared about expression.

All you cared about was influence.

Increasing your influence
and gaining power.

Those weren't lies.

They were just truths
that changed over time.

Shut up!

I have listened to your
holier-than-thou theater critic

bullshit for years. I'm sick of it.

Fine. Have it your way.

I don't need tea and sympathy.

It's... [SIGHS DEEPLY]

It's over.

- Just let me go.
- [SCOFFS]

I'll just hop in the time
machine and disappear.

The time machine is gone.

I hid it away. [CHUCKLES]

Somewhere you'll never find.

I won't let you ruin anything else.

I'm ending this.

There's nowhere left for you to go.

Well, we...

both know that's not true.

Yeah, that little stunt you pulled
with the Sisterhood of Dada

brought my memories flooding back.

Finally, I know where I belong.

The Brotherhood of Evil will
welcome me back with open arms.

The Brotherhood of Evil?

Yeah. Brotherhood of Evil, yup.

[CHUCKLES] Okay.

Niles defeated them.

Not long after you left on
your misguided mission.

So, it's over, Madame Rouge.

The Brotherhood of Evil is gone.

Now I'll just bring it back.

Mmm-hmm.

What you want...

I can't give you.

What I want...

was taken from me.

Taken from me by you.

You stole my life.

And I will not stop
until I have ended yours.

Well, you keep saying that, Bendy.

But if you're still looking for a fight,

why don't you take a sh*t?

[FLAPPING]

[GASPS] Tell me it's not true.

Cliff, you are not going to believe
the dimples on this thing.

- You went back and got him?
- [LARRY] Yeah, I did.

Lare-Bear!

I am so proud of you.

And I wasn't sure if I was
ready to be a father again.

But when you're raising
a space parasite,

are you ever really ready? [CHUCKLES]

- [CHUCKLES]
- [PARASITE SNARLS]

Everything's been so crazy lately.

The flagellation, Rita's time machine...

We haven't had a chance
to celebrate the good sh*t.

[GASPS] Ooh, yeah.

Can I hold it? Please.

- Um...
- [CLIFF BABBLES PLAYFULLY]

[JANE] Keeg-a-boo. [CHUCKLES]

Wait, is it peek-a-boo or keeg-a-boo?

Yeah, I think it's "peek".

[CLIFF AND JANE] Keeg-a-boo!

You know, I should probably
put him down for a nap.

He might be getting tired.

- Keeg-a-boo!
- There will be plenty of time to play later.

- [CLIFF] Keeg-a-boo!
- [JANE BLOWS RASPBERRY]

- Hey, if I could...
- You don't really think

that we're going to give it
back to you, do you?

[JANE] Yeah.

No hard feelings, Mummy-daddy.

It's just...

you're not really capable
of fatherly love.

Think about what happened to your son.

[CLIFF] He k*lled himself.

[JANE] No, not that son, the other son.

The one who decided
that the best relationship

they could manage
was no relationship at all.

What? No, I don't...

That's not... [EXHALES]

I can be a better father
than either of you.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I am ready for this.

[CLIFF AND JANE] "I am ready for this!"

I can be better.

I have to be.

I have to be better.

[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]

[GASPS]

Oh, my God. [SIGHS]

What the...

[CHAINS RATTLING]

Did you do this?

Wait.

The dream. You felt it, didn't you?

You can sense my emotions.

[SIGHS] My old friend could too.

This feels different somehow.

Painful.

I'm scared.

I can sense your emotions too.

- [STATIC BUZZING]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Being around me and my problems
can feel like t*rture.

This time, I have to be better.

Procedure was painless.

Basically, they rewrote
the nanotech that you designed.

Underneath...

I'm still mechanical.

Changes are only skin deep.

Only cost you your powers.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that to sound...

[SIGHS]

I've had a lot of time
to reflect lately.

The whole world has.

Thanks to...

whatever the hell
we all just went through...

[INTERRUPTS] Don't explain it.

I really don't need to know.

Just glad it's over.

It's not very often that, uh,

I get to visit my son
in a hospital these days.

First time?

Greatest day of my life.

No lie.

And you were a newborn.

And I promised to keep you

from ending up back in that hospital.

But...

real life doesn't work like that.

- Yeah.
- Second time.

You had appendicitis.

Oof! Boy, you're tough.

Didn't let your mom see you cry.

Third time.

Third time was right after
your first varsity football game.

You'd sprained your ankle.

But you gritted it out.

You threw the go-ahead
score to win it all.

I should have been happy for you,

but I was angry.

Angry because if the injury
were any worse,

that might have been your last game.

And I wasn't there for it.

I figured you had to work late, so...

There was a new security guard
at S.T.A.R. Labs.

It was dark out.

I was rushing to make it to your game.

But, man, I couldn't find my damn keys.

That man...

he made assumptions.

He stalked me.

Detained me.

He held me down.

I can still hear him.

He was overweight, wheezing...

I could've taken him.

But what then?

Would he have tried to k*ll me?

Would he have pressed charges?

There are wings of that building

that will be named after me.

And in less than a millisecond,

everything I had earned
meant absolutely nothing.

[SIGHS] Dad.

I never knew.

You weren't born yesterday, Victor.

You live in the same world I do.

You didn't need your father to tell you

that this is how it is!

Anyway, that moment right there

was all I could think about

the last time you were in the hospital.

A moment where I had a choice.

Not just to save my son's life,

but to give him a suit of armor. [SIGHS]

To build it into something
the world could not tear down,

build him into something
that could walk the world free.

You once asked me
why I chose to make you Cyborg.

That's the answer.

[SIGHS]

That might be your answer...

but that was not the solution.

I mean, don't you recognize that?

Like... after all that,

what the hell did you turn me into?

I am a S.T.A.R. Lab security guard!

You traded my humanity for a symbol.

You robbed me of the chance
to define myself.

Why the hell would I give
a f*ck about how people see me?

I've been standing before
my father this entire time,

appearing as the man I used to be,

and he won't even embrace me.

[SCOFFS] He can't even look at me.

My own father won't even bring
himself to hug his own son.

All he can think about is fear.

You wanted me to walk
through this world free?

Well, I want to walk the world
as the man I was born to be.

[DOOR OPENS, SHUTS]

[SOBS]

Kay, wait.

We need to talk about what happened.

The others, where did they go?

I don't know where they went,
but I'm glad they're gone.

They knew I didn't need them anymore.

I want to feel like I did
in the sweet shop again.

In the fog.

I like that feeling too,
but it couldn't last forever.

I know what you're feeling.

I know what you want.

But things aren't always as
simple as we want them to be.

Let's just think for a moment.

You must be wondering
what happened to the others.

I am too.

We can figure it out together.

Sometimes I wonder
if you understand me at all.

God!

[DISTANT SCREAMING]

[DISTANT GROWLS]

I hope you know what you're doing, Kay.

I don't think this place
is meant to be empty.

[LINE RINGING]

[MALLAH ON INTERCOM] Hello,
who may I ask is calling?


[LAURA] Yeah, it's... It's me.

It's Laura. Laura De Mille.

[MALLAH] Who?

Ah, sorry.

Madame Rouge.

[MALLAH] Who?

[MUMBLES]

Fair enough.

[CLEARS THROAT] , I was
recruited to travel to the future,

which is now-now, present time.

Um, my mission went a bit sideways.

Therefore, I'm no longer able
to travel back to my present.

So I'm currently here in your present...

presently.

Reporting for duty, sir.

[MALLAH] No.

Oh. [CHUCKLES] Sorry, your accent.

You sounded like you said no.

[MALLAH] I said no.

You are not welcome here.

This is a retirement community.

We are retired.

We have no need for this frivolity.

Your absurd and overly
complicated problems


are not welcome here.

Okay, um, my apologies,

but, um, perhaps I'm in the wrong place.

But I was told that I could find

the... [WHISPERS]
Brotherhood of Evil here.

[THE BRAIN] What's going on, Mallah?

Did I hear someone mention
the Brotherhood of Evil?


Yes. Yes.

[THE BRAIN] Is it one of our fans,

or a member of the enthusiast press?

[MALLAH] Pardon, monsieur.
It is none of your concern.

[THE BRAIN] None of my concern?

Unless it's another one of your
taffy-of-the-month deliveries,


it's absolutely my concern.

Buzz them in.

- [MALLAH SIGHS]
- [BUZZER SOUNDS]

Okay. Thank you. Thanks very much

[MECHANICAL THUDDING]

Yo, Cliff!

You got to be f*cking kidding me.

Nice to see you too.

Is this real?

Or did a magic bird
do this sh*t to you too?

It's real.

Uh, it's still tech, but it's real.

- What do you think?
- What do I think?

What the f*ck does General Tony think?

[SCOFFS]

So this, Kay, is
the Brotherhood of Evil.

They're a group of the most
sinister villains of all time

in the s.

They're horrible.

And the worst one of them all,
of course, is Madame Rouge.

But not to worry.

I have come up with a plan

to vanquish them once and for all.

Speaking of, what sort of
superpowers do you have?

Oh. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

I don't have powers.

- I see. And the other personas?
- They're gone.

It's just me.

How lovely.

Wow. [CHUCKLES]

Well, we are so happy to have
you aboard, Kay.

Welcome.

[VIC] What'd we miss?

Yup, I'm back.

Victor, what have you done?

What have I done?

[EXHALES] Sorry. I mean...

look at you. [CHUCKLES]

Congratulations.

You look amazing.

Yeah, we're all thrilled for Vic.

But I'm still a little confused,

like, why did you even come back?

I live here.

Guys, come on.

I'm not a subconscious.

I'm not a zombie,
and this isn't the afterlife.

It's still me, same Vic.

Still part of the team.

Do you still have powers?

No.

[CLIFF] Let's arm wrestle.

Winner gets to call himself
Cyborg from now on.

[RITA] Cliff!

I'm sorry. It's just a lot to process.

You spent years in the past
and didn't change at all.

Vic goes away for a three-day
weekend and changes everything.

[RITA] Well, who said I didn't change?

[LARRY] Hey, can you guys
keep it down, please?

[PARASITE GROWLING]

[SIGHS] Sorry, I'm late.

Trying to take things
a bit easier these days,

you know, for the baby.

Unless that thing's colorblind,
you're only making life harder.

I like it.

Thanks, Kay.

Kay? Holy sh*t!
Has everyone fixed their sh*t?

Slap on some synth skin
or some f*cking Tommy Bahama

and everyone's problems are solved.

I'm beginning to wonder

we all had the same flagellation.

Welcome back, Vic.

- You look great.
- Thanks, Larry.

[CLEARS THROAT] All right.

Okay, this may feel a bit like deja vu,

but that's only because
we've tried this once before

when you were all subs.

But now that the actual team is here,

I believe we finally have a chance.

Jane always says you're not a team.

Well, Jane's not right
about everything, Kay.

You know that better than any of us.

All right. Take two, huh?

Introducing the Brotherhood of Evil.

[THE BRAIN] Welcome
to our new headquarters.

I never doubted for a second
that you would return to us.

Welcome! Mallah, welcome our guest!

- [GROWLS]
- [THE BRAIN] He's in a mood.

So, Rouge, my darling,

where have you been all my life?

Uh, I've been a bit,
um, bit lost, actually.

How have things been here?

Things are going great.

You can't b*at the climate.

We're only a couple minutes
from the beach.

The Buccaneers won the Super Bowl.

You know what they say, "Boca
Raton means 'Heaven on Earth.'"

Right. Well, how wonderful.
I'm very happy,

very happy for you.

Both of you.

[MALLAH] Fermez la bouche, femme demon.

Um... sorry, ape.

- Do you... do you have some kind of a problem?
- [WHIRRING]

Hmm?

Yeah. Uh, things aren't
going as well for me,

I'm afraid, so...

I assumed.

We basically sent you on the
time-travel equivalent of a milk run

and you never came back.

Uh, yeah. Well, you neglected
to inform me

that total amnesia is
a side effect of time travel.

Amnesia?

Interesting. What an oddly
convenient symptom.

Yes. Well, the original mission
relied on using my anonymity

to spy on Niles Caulder
and his creations.

But unfortunately, I instead relied

on Niles Caulder's creations
to undo my anonymity

and effectively ran a mission
counter to the original goal.

So now, they are plotting to k*ll me.

Which is great.

Hmm, that sounds more
like a Rouge problem

than a Brain problem.

Um... [SCOFFS] I'm sorry...

Aren't I an equal member
of the Brotherhood of Evil?

Well, there's members,
and there's equal members.

You were a member
for, like, an afternoon.

Let's cut to the chase.

I need to destroy
Niles Caulder's creations

before they destroy me.

And there is no one better
to do that than you,

Niles Caulder's sworn nemesis.

What can I say?

He really did bring out
the villain in me.

Seventy years ago,
you sent me on a mission.

It went off course, but I'm here now,

and Niles Caulder's legacy
is ripe for destruction.

So are you in or are you out?

Mallah, get me my toys.

- [GROWLS]
- [JUICER WHIRS]

- Mallah!
- [MALLAH] Pardon?

- I said get...
- [JUICER WHIRS]

Damn it, Mallah.

[LARRY] Hey, wasn't the Brotherhood
of Evil defeated ages ago?

Maybe this will just blow over.

No, Larry, the Brotherhood
of Evil is coming for us.

I'm sure of it.

Don't worry, Rita. I've got your back.

- We'll figure it out.
- [RITA] Well, thank you.

Victor.

I suppose we can find a role for you.

What?

You're demoting me?

There are no small roles, Victor.

Only small actors and stage crew.

Can I be stage crew with Vic?

Hey, what the hell is stage crew?

What Rita's too polite to say
is that you screwed us, dude.

I sold a meet and greet
with Cyborg on eBay.

And, sure, my subconscious self
showed me that was wrong.

But what the f*ck
am I supposed to do now?

Issue a $ refund?

[LARRY] Okay, okay. Let's just try
to keep the volume down a bit, okay?

Vic doesn't deserve this.

- [CRACKLING]
- Oh, sh*t. [GROANS] I'm fine.

It's fine.

Kids, am I right? [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

- Uh.
- [CLIFF] Who would have thought that

a deadbeat Robodad with a brain disease

is the only capable member
left on the team.

Larry's got a baby.

Vic's depowered, and
Jane's head is empty.

We're two bananas short
of a dogshit sundae.

Don't you dare lump me in with them.

I'll have you know I am
perfectly capable on my own.

Well, then why the hell do you
keep trying to recruit us?

All right. I'm sorry.

I'm trying to turn over a new leaf.

This isn't exactly
how I planned to start,

but if you need help
kicking some evil ass,

I'm ready to f*cking roll.

[SIGHS, LAUGHS]

- Okay.
- [DOORBELL RINGS]

- [CLARA] Dad?
- Holy sh*t. Clara!

Every single time.

Get a load of this stuff.

When I first got into the game,

laser beams weren't even that thing.

I put laser beams on the map.

This is it?

No, of course not.

I've got tons more
at an off-site facility.

I had a death ray,
but I gave it to Garguax

so he could k*ll that leggy broad

who time-traveled to
Codsville after you left...

Don't ask me how I figured all that out.

Well, that leggy broad managed
to survive your little death ray.

So I hope you've got
something with a more

airtight success rate up your sleeve.

Not so fast.

This is the Brotherhood of Evil.

I'm The Brain.

He's Mallah,

and you're the lady
who hasn't done jack sh*t.

You've got to earn our help.

Are you ready for another mission?

[CLARA] You left your meds in Florida.

- These are some pretty serious pills.
- [THUDS]

The website said they were safe.

Website? Dad, Jesus!

[SOBS]

I didn't even want to come,

but Mel told me that this
Parkinson's medication

has some pretty serious side effects,

especially if you're not
taking regulated doses.

What sort of side effects?

Impulse control, gambling, lust.

Things you weren't exactly
a shining example of

before you started taking medication.

Now that I'm seeing you, I...

Look, I think I need
to take you to see a doctor.

Like, a real doctor.

[VIC] Kay?

What are you doing down here?

Everyone inside my head
got to sit at this table

and talk to Mr. Caulder.

But I never did.

I guess no one ever
wanted to talk to me.

We all wanted to talk to you, Kay.

Ask any of us, Niles most of all.

But we thought maybe
you didn't want to talk to us.

They never let me come up.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

I always thought it was because
they were trying to keep me safe.

But now I think they were just trying
to keep this all for themselves.

Why did you decide to come up now?

Did something happen to Jane?

[SIGHS]

Jane's fine.

[SLOW SOBS]

She's just in the underground
like I used to be.

It's a good thing.

For the first time in a long time,

I finally feel like the person
I was supposed to be.

[SIGHS]

I know how that feels.

[EXHALES]

I thought you might.

- I think part of us met during, um...
- The flagellation?

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

I think our subconsciouses are more
similar than I gave us credit for.

You mean I'm like you?

Like looking in the mirror.

[CHUCKLES]

I'm happy for you, Kay.

I let people call the sh*ts
for me for too long.

And I know you did too.

We're finally in charge
of ourselves again.

Um, excuse me.

Do you think you could interview me

like Mr. Caulder used to do?

[GIGGLES]


[CLEARS THROAT]

- [IN FORMAL ACCENT] So, what would you like to talk about?
- [KAY GIGGLES]

[LARRY] Rita, what are you doing?

I'm leaving, Larry.
I'm going after Rouge.

I don't care if anyone
wants to help me or not.

I can't stay here
while she's out there free.

Okay? What happened to you two?

You were so desperate for her approval.

And now you seem so...

This feels personal.

Laura...

I mean, Rouge... and I have history.

Now I know you think I was
only gone for a few days,

but for me, it was an entire lifetime.

Well, judging by
the pink cardigan packed

beside the one-piece bathing suit,

I'd say you're still the same
Rita we all know and love.

That Rita is gone, Larry.

- [PARASITE GROWLS]
- [LARRY GROANS]

[GLASS CRACKS]

Sorry.

Sorry about that.

I overreacted.

[SHUSHES]

Change can be positive.

Still the same Larry
we all know and love.

[KISSES]

Good luck with your thing.

How long will you be gone?

I don't know, Larry.
Rouge could be anywhere by now.

Do you know how difficult
it's going to be

to track down a shapeshifter?

Hi. Yeah. I'd like to make
an appointment for my father.

Cliff Steele.

[BABY COOING]

Yes, that's his real name.

Hello.

I'm sorry. Could I borrow you
for one moment?

[CLIFF] Uh...

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

I'm sorry. This is important.

More important than my daughter
setting up a doctor's appointment

for my debilitating brain disease?

Yes. Something about this
doesn't add up.

Are you sure that's Clara?

Am I sure that's my daughter? Yeah.

But have you considered this?
Madame Rouge is a shapeshifter.

Uh, yeah.

I saw her transform
into an ottoman. Big whoop.

She can transform into anything.

I don't give a sh*t.

I just want to make sure
you're being careful.

Think about it.

After everything,

do you really think you've earned

another second chance
with your daughter?

Come on, Rita.

Can't something nice happen
to me for once?

Vic got his whole f*cking face fixed.

All of you are doing better than ever.

Don't I get to have something nice?

Just once?

Why does everyone else
get to be so f*cking special?

[SIGHS]

You're right.

This does feel too good to be true.

I'm sorry.

Just go back in there

and I'll gather the others,
just... just in case.

Hey, sweetie, you'd tell me

if you were a secret shapeshifter

here to f*ck up my life, wouldn't you?

[BABY BLABBERING]

Hey, little buddy.

Where did your mama go?

All right.

Come here.

Here we go.

[CLARA] Sorry, I had to go
change his diaper.

[GASPS]

[CLIFF AND CLARA] What the f*ck?

[BABY CRYING VIOLENTLY]

[GROWLS]

Clara, run!

- [BABY SNICKERING]
- [CLIFF SHRIEKS]

[SCREAMS]

[CLIFF] Look out!

It's a k*ller baby!

[SCREAMS]

[BABY SCREAMS]

[ALL GRUNTING]

[VIC] I got her!

[GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

[MADAME ROUGE] Hey, you bastard! Oh!

[PARASITE CRYING]

[GROANING]

Okay.

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

No!

[MADAME ROUGE YELLS]

[ALL GROAN]

[GRUNTS]

[CLIFF GROANS]

[GROANING]

Oh, no. No, no, no.

[ALL SCREAMING]

What the hell is going on up there?

We're under att*ck.

[SCREAMS] f*ck!

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

Come on!

Don't even try it, girlie.

You've got a real family to worry about.

[MECHANICAL BEEPING]

[SCREAMS] No!

[BREATHING HEAVILY] What?

What just happened?

Clara, listen to me.

Everything is going to be all right.

[BABY CRYING]

Go.

We'll take care of this.

Just get him back safe.

We will, I promise.

All right.

Okay.

Now, I know we've all had our
fair share of hemming and hawing,

but enough is enough.

Cliff's been kidnapped.

We have to act fast.

Victor, we need to find out

where the Brotherhood of Evil is hiding.

On it.

Grid, send me a lo... [SIGHS]

I'll get my laptop.

[RITA] Uh, Larry, go start the bus.

Quickly, Larry!

Yeah, the larva's fine, by the way.

Thanks for checking

- [PARASITE GROWLS]
- [LARRY GROANS]

There is no choice now.

We have to destroy the Brotherhood.

You ready?

I don't know.

The underground is falling apart.

The personas are gone.

And I could swear
I heard something down there

and something is in pain.

Don't do this.

Every time things get bad for us,

you get lost in your own head.

You can't sleep through
another crisis, Jane.

- Not again.
- What the f*ck do you want me to do?

I don't have powers, remember?

I'm not the help you're looking for.

None of you are the help
I'm looking for.

In fact, the most capable person left

in this house is probably
Cliff's daughter,

but she is not like us.

No one is.

This isn't about us anymore.

This is about Cliff.

- Speak.
- They're in Florida.

If we drive all night,
we can make it by tomorrow.

Ready?

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

All right.

[CLIFF MOANS]

Oh, what the f*ck just happened?

Where am I? Are Clara and Rory safe?

I have no idea who you're
talking about, and I don't care.

Welcome to the Sunshine State,
Cliff Steele.

Am I back in f*cking Florida?

I just f*cking left Florida.

f*ck me!

Who the f*ck are you?

sh*t. Duh. You're the f*cking Brain.

Yes, I am the f*cking Brain.

And you are the Robotman.

It's a pleasure to meet you. Big fan.

Not of you, per se, but of your design.

[CLIFF] Oh, yeah?

So you must also be a fan
of things like skin tags,

acapella music,
the Houston Oilers...

[THE BRAIN] You really have
no appreciation

for the miracle that you are, do you?

I spent my entire life trying
to design a body like yours.

I was furious when Niles Caulder,

my hated rival, did what I could not.

So when I saw your blueprints
auction online, I had to bid.

You bought my blueprints?

I had to know how Niles did it.

He was never a brilliant scientist,

but that was the catch.

Niles dabbled in science and magic.

Your body is special, Cliff.

It's infused with magical properties.

What the f*ck are you saying?

You are one of a kind,
and that simply isn't fair.

A body like yours should
belong to someone worthy,

someone like me.

Once I take it from you,

I'll finally be able to take my revenge.

[CHUCKLING] Revenge?

How's that gonna work?

[MADAME ROUGE] Here's what I'm thinking.

[SLURPING]

After we replace your brain
with The Brain,

we'll return home to your friends,

your foolish friends.

And they'll welcome back
Robotman with open arms.

Then disguised together, The Brain and I

will systematically destroy your
friends one by one from within,

saving Rita for last,

and then I will just finish her
off once and for all.

[SLURPS]

Well, you really are evil.

Oh, please.

She doesn't know the
first thing about being evil.

Mallah!

[MALLAH GROWLS]

[GASPS]

Holy f*ck!

- [GROWLS]
- [SCREAMS] f*ck!

[KAY] Jane?

Jane.

Jane.

[DISTANT SCREAMING]

- Faster, Vic. Faster!
- Lady, this is a school bus.

God, sit down, Rita. Ow!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

I can't believe you brought
that repulsive thing with you.

[VIC] He's trying to keep it safe.

That's what fathers are supposed to do.

You're only sticking up for him
because he's the only one

who was happy about
your cosmetic surgery.

Yeah, well, no one else was happy.

I never said I was happy.

What?

No. You know what?

I'm not happy.

Hey, Cliff was right.

Why does Vic's fresh start
look like that,

and mine looks like this?

I thought if I could spare
this larva from my pain,

it'd get better.

I thought I'd feel better.

But I'm not the only one
affecting this thing.

It's all of us.

You and you.

You're all so emotionally toxic.

It's k*lling us both.

Okay, let me get this straight.

None of you are happy for me?

[LARRY] Argh!

I finally get the chance
at a normal life again,

and... y'all are just jealous?

- That's pathetic.
- Can we just chill?

[SIGHS]

We're all going through sh*t.

f*ck it.

Deal with it later.

Like Rita said, this is about Cliff.

Uh... [SCOFFS] Wait.

Is that what Rita told you?

Please.

This isn't about Cliff at all.

Come on, tell her the truth, Rita.

- [STRETCHER WHIRRING]
- [CLIFF MOANS]

[SIGHS]

Ugh.

[THE BRAIN] Ah, you're awake.

- [BOTH GRUNTING]
- Don't bother attempting to shapeshift.

Mallah injected you with
a meta-human power dampener.

[MADAME ROUGE] We had a deal.

I changed my mind.

The Brotherhood of Evil is old news.

Evil, well, it's a complicated thing.

Seventy years ago,
I wanted to rule the world.

After Caulder defeated me,

I would have stopped
at nothing to k*ll him

and erase his legacy.

But now,

now all I want to do
is take this metal body

and live a life of indulgence
in sunny Boca Raton.

Maybe do the foxtrot
with the widow in unit J.

Goodbye, Madame Rouge.

[SCREAMS]

assh*le.

[LARRY] Tell them, Rita.

Tell them why you're really after Rouge.

I told you, this is about Cliff.

This is about all of us.

If we don't stop Rouge,
she and the Brotherhood

will not stop until we're all dead.

Uh, you mean dead again?

You had a time machine.

You could have changed all of this.

But instead, you went back to
Codsville and locked the door

and made sure everyone d*ed.

[JANE AND VIC] Wait, what?

This was never about Cliff.

Larry is right.

I... I'd forgotten you all.

I... I had escaped. [CHUCKLES]

I fell in love.

I had friends.

I had the perfect life until Rouge.

I could have saved you.

I could have altered the timeline

and changed everything,

but that would have risked
erasing the life that I had,

and I just couldn't do that.

So now I'm back.

But it doesn't feel like home,
not anymore.

You are strangers to me.

So, when we arrive in Florida,

you can put all your bullshit
aside and rescue Cliff,

or you can sit in this bus
and wallow, I don't care.

All I want is Rouge.

You lied to us the whole time.

You can talk, Larry.
You lied right to my face.

[LARRY AND RITA]
It isn't about your face, Vic!

f*ck!

[SIGHS]

[DISTANT SCREAMS]

[FAINT GROWLS]

[SCREAMS, GROWLS INTENSIFY]

[GASPS, BREATHES HEAVILY]

[INDISTINCT SCREAMING]

["LES CHAMPS ELYSEES" PLAYING]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION]

[RATTLING]

[SCREAMING]

[PARASITE GROWLS]
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