03x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

Why in God's name would
you invite Mason Elliot?!

He does not invest, he devours!

- Where's Michael?
- We broke up.

I'm not... not pregnant.

- Can you feel that?
- Yes. Yes, I can.

Do you ever get tired
of people telling you

how much they love your food?

Never.

I forbid you to go
anywhere near that man.

Forbid me?!

(SIGHS)

(GULLS SCREECH DISTANTLY)

(WAVES CRASH)

♪ Somewhere ♪

♪ Beyond the sea ♪

♪ Somewhere waiting for me ♪

♪ My lover stands on golden sands ♪

♪ And watches the ships ♪

♪ That go sailing ♪

♪ Somewhere beyond the sea ♪

♪ She's there watching for me ♪

♪ If I could fly like birds on high ♪

♪ Then straight to her
arms I'd go sailing... ♪

Some say a culinary
journey like this is art,

others just call it pretentious.

This is the best thing
I've eaten all year.

Now make it again...

and make it better.

Mark Wilson, heart as big as a bus,

using his brother's wedding as
an excuse to see an old flame.

Said he knew the perfect venue,
might get mates' rates.

I wish I could dislike this man more.

- Hello, stranger.
- It's so good to see you.

Hi! (LAUGHS)

He's been talking about
you the whole way down.

I also talked about the peacocks.

Please tell me they're not still around.

You can't still be scared
of our peacocks, Mark.

- They can smell fear.
- Is that true?

Well, settle in. And we'll
leave you in the capable hands

of our lovely assistant manager, Teresa.

I have to persuade Gina that
our future is spa-shaped.

(LAUGHS)

Well, it seems I've been promoted.

They might start paying me soon.

Trust me, see this place in the
flesh and you'll fall in love too.

Cupid would have to find nuclear weapons

to make me fall for a failed
restaurant you want to turn into a spa.

People shuffling about in towelling
robes eating gluten-free muesli,

cucumber on their eyes. No thanks.

Tell me this isn't happening!

- How could he do this to me?!
- Oh, come on, you can't take it personally.

You don't understand, I...

Everybody seems to have a man bun

or a trendy little hipster beard!

- Even the women!
- (DISTANT LAUGHTER)

Ah.

You bastard! What's going on?!

The thing with Cornish bubbly,

it tastes amazing, but it
needs a catchy name like...

Cornseco or something less awful.

Do you mind if we have a
little bit of privacy here?

- We're trying to spy on you.
- Don't you dare open that near me.

It'd be a lot easier for you to snoop...

if we all go inside.

(SIGHS)

This is where your
guests will eat too much,

drink too much, dance too hard.

We don't allow the funky chicken.

- You have been warned.
- (LAUGHTER)

I'll show you what we've
got planned in the chapel,

but first I'm going to
need to know everything

- about what Sam was like at school.
- Have you seen the movie Grease?

Well, think of me as Danny
Zuko and her as Sandy.

That was basically it.

- But instead of a hot-rod, I drove a Nissan Micra.
- (BOTH LAUGH)

I've been chasing this place forever!

We're all about connecting with nature.

Ah.

So we have a... mission statement.

"Service will be
perfectly choreographed.

Dishes brought out from the kitchen

and finished at the table
by the chefs themselves."

Mason Elliot, aren't you fancy.

Innovative, intricate
cooking to awaken the senses.

All with locally-sourced food.

We're very much into foraging.

So was my old Jack Russell.

You've taken my dream and
turned it into a nightmare!

- I'm sorry I've upset you.
- I don't think sorry quite cuts it!

It's sort of trendy,
isn't it, this place?

You know what happens to
trendy things, don't you?

- They make a lot of money.
- No, they go out of fashion.

It won't take long for people to
figure out that your food is basic.

- Basic?
- Yeah.

This is art.

My dishes have been in my
family for... six generations.

They're unique, bespoke,

take years to master.

I could make any one of these
dishes blindfolded in minutes.

- I'd like to see you try.
- I bet you would.

Your decor is giving me hives.

This is gonna be great for you.

This will finally put Chilstock
on Cornwall's culinary map.

We're already on the map.

We drew the map!

Come on, we don't allow jitters.

It's not that, it's...

Church is very... important to us.

- We've never...
- You've saved yourselves?

- Amazing!
- Amazing(!)

And now you're bricking it?

What if I'm a huge let-down to him?

He'll be stuck with me forever having...

disappointing Emily sex.

I was my first time.

It lasted about seconds.

The guy I was with cried...

actual tears.

The next few times were somehow worse.

I thought sex was the most
overrated thing since... football.

And then I fell in love.

And it still only
lasted about seconds.

But, you know what, sex
isn't about the physical act,

it's about... the connection.

And you and Tony already
have that, so you'll be fine.

You'll be rock stars.

MARK: So do I play it cool with Sammy,

or do I put it all out
there like a real man?

Be a man. Be a caveman.

Throw her over your shoulder and
carry her off into the sunset.

(LAUGHS) All right, don't take the piss.

(SQUAWKING)

Here, mate. There's a good peacock.

- What are you doing?!
- (SQUAWKING)

Don't... encourage it!

I just don't see why you
have to flirt with him.

- I saw you batting those eyelashes.
- Maybe I like him.

Did you ever think of that.

Oh, please, tell me you haven't!

Well, just a little
bit of no-string sex.

Probably no worse for
you than... smoking!

(SIGHS) He's a bastard!

I took my plans to him,
he refused to invest,

then bought the location for himself.

Yes, and I told you not to do that.

- Swim with sharks, you'll get bitten.
- I want you to end it.

- There's nothing to end.
- Please! He's a shark, you just said so yourself.

Fine! I won't talk to him,
I won't go anywhere near him

and I certainly won't dream about him

wrestling Ryan Gosling
in organic marmelade.

Happy? (SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

Have you ever made a mistake
so big it makes your skin crawl?

Like... not kissing you
at your party last year?

Mark, you're gonna make me blush.

(LAUGHS) Sorry.

I don't know, it sounded all
manly and tough in my head,

but when it actually
came out of my mouth,

it just sounded cheesy and awful.

Well, it made me smile.

In the mood I'm in, that's
quite an achievement.

Do you know what I've started doing

to alleviate the stress
of work, of bills, of life?

♪ When your legs don't work
like they used to before... ♪

- Ballroom dancing.
- (LAUGHS)

You have? (LAUGHS)

♪ Will your mouth still
remember the taste of my love? ♪

- ♪ Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks? ♪
- (BOTH LAUGH)

No! (LAUGHS)

♪ And, darling, I will be
loving you till we're ... ♪

(BOTH LAUGH)

♪ And, baby, my heart ♪

- ♪ Could still fall as hard at ... ♪
- I've not done with my bad mood yet.

Stop trying to cheer me up.

Do you remember breaking into
that leisure centre in ' ?

All too well.

Don't you dare try and
skinny dip in my pool.

(GASPS) You wouldn't?!

Yeah, you're right,
I wouldn't. Whoo-hoo!

(LAUGHS)

(BIRDSONG)

Just arrived from Mason Elliot.

- Thanks.
- Thanks.

- Oh!
- Oh! (LAUGHS)

I can't believe he's
opening down the road.

- He's like the Bowie of our industry.
- He's not like Bowie,

he's more like Cliff Richard.

He's just a very clever
man with good hair and...

rather dreamy eyes.

- Hmm.
- Oh.

We should call the RSPCA,
this is cruelty to insects.

- Can I go then?
- No, you may not.

Who's gonna cover for me here.

Why is he inviting you anyway?

Thanks, Gina!

Maybe out of respect for a local chef.

Whoo-hoo!

- (SIGHS)
- You're a bad influence on me.

- Yeah.
- I'm not supposed to be having fun.

(LAUGHS)

(GRUNTS)

Three words. You, me, hot tub.

That's four words. And there's boules.

Boules, is that a technical term?

It's a hot-tub-shaped metaphor.

A sign from above that my life's a mess.

(SIGHS) It can't be
that difficult to fix.

It's only a tub and some bubbles.

When are you going back to the hospital?

I'm getting my results tomorrow

and you're coming with me.

- You need to see a doctor.
- I'm not ready. Not yet.

How far gone do you think you are?

I don't know, a bit.

There's a point when reversing
these things becomes complicated,

and there's another point
when it becomes impossible.

If I can't bury my head in
the sand, neither can you.

I have the blindfold...
if you have the minutes.

(HUMS)

MUSIC: Persephone by Cocteau Twins

- ♪ Hey, the chances I must waste ♪
- Mmm!

♪ Hey, ever dirt even
there month got a car ♪

♪ Here's what it takes ♪

♪ Here's what it takes ♪

MUSIC: Don't Look Back Into
The Sun by The Libertines

LEO: I always knew when
she was upset with me,

the lycra would come out.

She'd run and run, the hurt
building up like Krakatoa.

And once all those endorphins
had turned the pain into rage,

that was when you
needed to run for cover.

- (MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO)
- Boom!

- (MUSIC OFF)
- So... I know.

Congratulations.

- About what?
- Oh, don't try and act the innocent, it doesn't suit.

I think I'll... give you some space.

- This is about my "visitor".
- This is about your visitor.

Well, we didn't do anything,

- we just cooked.
- And kissed?

- Maybe a little.
- You said you'd stay away.

Does our friendship mean nothing to you?

I'm sorry that you don't like him.

I'm sorry... he ruined your dream.

And slept with him too.

- Yeah, right.
- I did.

We did. Twice technically.

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY)

It's not funny!

Well, maybe it's a little bit funny.

(LAUGHS) Oh!

- God, I hate men sometimes!
- The absolute bloody cheek of him!

We really do have the
same taste in bastards.

Funny how they always seem
to come back to me in the end.

Sam... I'm sorry. (SIGHS)

I didn't mean it... that way.

- (TUTS)
- (DOOR SLAMS)

(SIGHS)

I've read about it, pragorexia.

Teresa, stay off the internet.

It's full of nutters
and wrong information.

Risks for pregnant women
with eating disorders,

cardiac irregularities, diabetes.

Severe depression, premature
birth, labour complications.

- She's been boring me with this in the taxi.
- Hmm.

Risks for the baby.

Poor brain development,
low birth weight,

breathing problems.

That body that you've only
ever seen through distorted eyes

is working some serious magic right now.

Your nan's a wise old bird, isn't she?

- Or are you her mum?
- Oh!

I like you. (CHUCKLES)

Hmm.

So, Mimi,

your doctor may have explained
some of this to you already,

so forgive me if I'm repeating things.

Darling, I'll let you know if
you're boring me with a simple yawn.

Right, so... the darkened area

that's the cancer you can feel...

causing you the discomfort.

Because of the size and
positioning of the lump,

we'll start by removing the breast.

You may need chemotherapy or
radiotherapy, most likely both.

Well...

I'd like to know how long I've got left.

I won't have talk like
that in my clinic, Mimi.

You have plenty of
reasons to be optimistic.

OK?

Look at you, you're in
better shape than I am.

(WOMAN LAUGHS)

- You fixed it?
- Yeah.

Er, full disclosure, I
stole it from your garden.

Technically, it was already yours.

Mark, it's been so good having you here,

and I'm so glad Tony chose
us as his wedding venue.

- Oh, I'm sensing a but.
- This thing between us,

there always has been this spark,

but your timing...

couldn't be more wrong. I'm off men.

It's not you. Well, no,
actually it might be you.

It's all men. You're all such dicks!

What can I say, men are dicks.

Dicks with dicks who
think with their dicks.

You're probably secretly married

or after my money or have
other women on the go.

It was the pump.

If it goes again...

just give it a kick.

Hey. Fancy doing
something really stupid?

LEO: That ' Château Lazar,

a single bottle costing almost
what we paid for our first home.

Sod men! Sod life!

Sod Mason's!

Hmm!

- Sod it bloody all!
- What does it taste like?

It tastes like not giving a
sh*t with a hint of recklessness.

Down in one!

Mmm.

It's not easy being
your mate, Gina Benelli.

- Are we mates, though?
- I think we're more than just mates

- and somehow also less.
- There ought to be a word for what we are.

Like a bestie who you sometimes
want to smother with a pillow.

- Like worstie.
- (LAUGHS)

My worstie. (LAUGHS)

Mason Elliot needs
taking down a peg or two,

and we are just the women to do it.

LEO: Every man needs a hero.

My old man had one of these.

I bought this just to see Mum's smile.

- (LAUGHS)
- Because real heroes don't wear capes.

♪ With our children at our feet ♪

♪ And the morals that they
worship will be gone... ♪

But this guy, Adam...

- Welcome.
- ... thou shalt not worship false idols.

♪ They decide and the
shotgun sings the song... ♪

(ENGINE GROWLS)

- Ooh! It's a bit parky in here, isn't it?
- Hmm.

Hello.

Hello.

Who needs a microphone when
you've a mouth as big as mine.

- (MAN LAUGHS)
- Now, I have three firm rules in life...

... never underestimate a steak,

never stress out when
your aircon jams on,

and most importantly never
under any circumstance

trust an Englishman who hasn't
found the time to visit Cornwall.

- MAN: Yeah!
- (ALARM)

This corner of England is magical.

And it means so much

- to finally be part of the landscape.
- (ALARM INTENSIFIES)

- To Cornwall!
- (ALARM BLARES)

(GASPING)

- (HUBBUB)
- (ALARM)

- Me and her...
- We talked.

(ALARM)

- We'll have it sorted in no time!
- (ALARM)

- (BIRDSONG)
- I haven't even seen Emily.

Has anyone seen my bride?

Holy looking, wearing white, good hair.

If I was considering doing a flit,

there's two places I might go
to quietly gather my thoughts.

- OK, one the pub, two?
- Well, the water,

contemplation works best with a view.

Hmm.

Worry less...

smile more.

This is easy.

You've got this.

Do you know, if I had a penny for
every jittery groom I found out here,

I'd have about three quid.

You know...

We've never... you know.

Tonight is stressing me out.

Ah, so you've never...

I feel sick!

I want to enjoy today.

You can't let a little thing
like bonking ruin your day.

I've been looking for you everywhere.

I can't go through with it! Tell
Tony I love him and I'm sorry.

- (SIGHS)
- OK... calm down.

- Come on, deep breaths.
- (SIGHS)

- Talked to Jesus or something.
- (SIGHS)

Oh!

He can't see me! It's bad luck!

You two need to do something,

otherwise this whole day
is gonna be a disaster.

We can't!

Can we?

- You need to f*ck.
- You've got minutes.

I think I can do it in ten.

- "You need to f*ck." (LAUGHS)
- I'm sick of compliments. I'm allergic.

- Praised and watered.
- Aw!

Mmm!

Do you know, I am so proud of you.

The way you've been since you got back.

Stop it. I'm not a pretty blusher.

- OK, let's keep this moving!
- ALL: Yes, chef.

You didn't show up to my launch.

I was grounded.

- You're a grown man.
- Thanks for the butterfly.

I've always wanted a pet.

What about your own kitchen to run?

I'm kinda already running things here.

If you were my chef, you'd be
running my kitchen completely.

Stop smiling! You're
supposed to be nervous.

Sorry...

I can't stop smiling!

I don't have half your talent.

- I'm lentils.
- Lentils?

You don't have all the ingredients
you need to feed your family,

how do you make the little
you have go a long way?

- You stretch it out with lentils.
- Come and work with me,

- fulfil your potential.
- I'm not stupid.

- You're not here because of my potential.
- No...

I'm here because this was
rammed into my aircon...

... and this...

was left under my smoke detector.

That doesn't mean I don't
recognise raw talent.

(BUZZING)

Right.

Best man speeches are
supposed to be funny.

Well, I've got a whole
list of terrible jokes here

most of them about the time that
Tony streaked naked at Twickenham

- for the rugby.
- (LAUGHTER)

Yeah, I've never seen a
policeman so confused AND afraid.

- (LAUGHTER)
- Actually,

I'm just gonna be serious for a minute.

These two have known each
other since they were kids.

Instant trouble, Tony and
Emily, Bonnie and Clyde,

- Beauty and the little git.
- (LAUGHTER)

They were inseparable.

And then... they fell in love.

And the first time you fall
in love, you fall the hardest.

It changes you,

it shapes you. And whatever
obstacles life throws,

that feeling never quite goes away.

Whatever happens...

that first love will always be there...

in your heart, in your head.

And... you choose them
again in any lifetime,

in any parallel universe,

you could both grow old, die,

be reincarnated

and you'd still find each other somehow.

Then it'd be your first
love all over again, because

that spark is forever.

It's a flame that cannot be put out.

Emily... you look so beautiful.

Tony, you look...

like you're gonna sell
me a second-hand car.

- (LAUGHTER)
- I mean, seriously, who's your tailor?

- Stevie Wonder?
- (LAUGHTER)

You are the perfect, if
slightly smug, couple.

And I am so honoured to be a part
of your incredible love story.

To Tony and Emily.

To Tony and Emily.

ALL: To Tony and Emily.

- (CHEERING)
- Whoo!

- MUSIC: One Kiss by Dua Lipa
- ♪ Possibilities ♪

♪ I look like all you need ♪

What if you're both
reincarnated as tortoises?

Will he still find you and have you

as his first love all over again then?

Please! That speech
was about his brother.

I think you should
just get on with things

while you've both still humans.

No-one likes to think of
tortoises getting it on.

- (LAUGHS)
- Uh-uh!

I'm off men. All men.

Especially ones who give me urges.

I can't be trusted. I make
the most terrible decisions.

Talking of which...

Don't mind me,

I'm just here trying
to poach your staff.

Well, this is private property.

And as if my staff would go with you.

I'd like you to leave before
I have to call security.

Security?

Who's that? That kooky old Lady Moomoo?

Her name's Mimi. And she's
as hard as galvanised nails.

Fine, I'm leaving. But first,

the air conditioning
and the fire alarm I get,

but for the life of me
I just can't figure out

how you did the microphone.

I've absolutely no idea what
he's talking about, do you?

(CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS)

(LAUGHS)

- (LAUGHTER)
- (WHOOPING)

Let me guess, my mum's
being a pain in your arse.

She currently thinks I'm
Saint Teresa the Great.

Somehow, her thinking the
sun shines out of my bum is

even more annoying
than her usual disdain.

- Mason earlier offered me a job.
- Screw that!

You're the only sane one around here.

It'll be One Flew Over The
Cuckoo's Nest without you.

Will Gina hate me if I go?

You're actually serious?!
You can't leave me!

It's the opportunity
of a lifetime, but...

(SIGHS)

Mom's never truly hated anyone.

I mean she looks
scary, Max Miller scary,

but really all she has to give is love.

And pasta.

Love and pasta.

So, what should I do?

Toss a coin.

Heads you go, tails you stay.

If it lands on tails and
your heart sings, then...

you will have your answer.

Why did I have to hear the heartbeat?

Why just have to look online
and read it has a face?

The longer you take to decide

the harder it will be
mentally and physically.

It can wiggle its arms,

has a nose and eyelids.

I bet it has beautiful eyelids.

Well, I've made my decision.

I'm not gonna fight this fight.

Time for me to go.

What? No! Please, don't say that.

I shall miss life and I shall
miss my family, miss you...

... but I'm not having treatment.

Please! You have to!

Don't be sad for me,

I've had a blast!

I've done things that
would make your hair curl.

Oh!

Just be happy for the life I've had.

(HUMS)

- I've been thinking.
- Oh, dangerous.

- About my future.
- Ah!

So it was you he was trying to poach.

Interesting.

I know this isn't about me, I
know it's probably some sort of

- petty revenge on his part, but...
- Listen, you are not going there.

You're my Adam.

Besides which, we have a contract.

A handshake in a greenhouse
is not a contract.

Round these parts, it's legally binding.

I'll see you in the morning.

(HUMS)

(SQUAWKING)

- (SQUAWKING)
- (WHIMPERS)

Do they have names the savage beasts?

Sure, that one's Barry.

Sammy... I always
know when you're lying.

- Your nose twitches when you talk.
- (LAUGHS)

It's not true.

I probably won't see you before you go.

I'm not very good at goodbyes.

(BIRDSONG)

Thank you for my dance lesson.

Don't be a stranger.

The peacocks will miss you.

(SQUAWKING)

(SQUAWKING)

- Sent back.
- Sorry, I'll make another one.

- Three's still waiting!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

What's going on here? Where's Adam?

- (WHIRRING)
- If any of you

ever have the audacity
to quit my kitchen,

do it to my face!

(WHIRRING STOPS)

- This was always gonna happen.
- No.

You've taken him for
granted for too long.

- No!
- You knew his talent deserved more,

but you stamped out his fire

- at every given opportunity.
- No, no, no!

I will not let Mason take him!

There is more to life right
now than a Mason bloody Elliot!

- What like?!
- Like Mimi. Like Teresa.

Something's going on with them.

(HE LAUGHS)

Like me.

Something's going on with me, too.

You're so busy playing games,
you haven't even noticed.

We're bringing Adam home.

Mason Elliot's a
Goliath in this industry.

- We can't win this fight.
- We have to at least try.

Remember when I got
expelled from school?

Not only do you get me reinstated,
you made them give me head boy.

Where's that famous
Mimi fighting spirit?

- You've never let anything b*at you before.
- I know you're not here.

- I know you're not real.
- Good.

I'd hate to think you were...

Dying? Go ahead, you can say it.

You can fight this!

Fight it like you fought off that cat

that used to piss on your azaleas.

Fight it like you fought Dad
when he'd come home drunk.

(SIGHS)

Look at me. I'm formidable.

What woman of my age

has the posture of Grace
Kelly and abs like rock?

Such modesty, too.

I'm not dying on some operating table.

Or worse, bald and sick from the chemo.

I am going out on my own terms.

I'm going out with dignity.

When me and Michael were kids,

we used to joke that you were running
a pirate radio station up here.

How do you know about my secret place?

It's kinda become my secret place too.

I come here to talk to Dad.

(SIGHS)

Look, I think you better go
in. I think it's gonna rain.

And last thing we need is
your allergies flaring up.

I'm not just gonna let you die.

You have to talk to Mom and Sam.

- I will do no such thing.
- Why?

Because you know they'll
make you change your mind?

If you dare to tell them about this,

I shall tell them about
you being pregnant.

Fine.

I'll tell them about the baby first

and you'll have nothing
to blackmail me with.

(LAUGHS) You're really
going to tell your mother

that you're accidentally
pregnant again?!

I mean, once is unfortunate, but twice!

I'm not sure whether it's careless

or whether it's
old-fashioned stupidity!

What?!

She... she knows I don't mean it!

(MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO)

Was Leo your first love?

Well, I had a thing for Johnny
Cash, but, yes, I suppose he was.

MUSIC: Avalon by Roxy

And you'd choose him
again in any lifetime?

In any parallel universe,
you'd find him somehow

and he'd be your first
love all over again?

Ah, so it's Mark,

your thing going on.

Do you like him?

Everybody likes him!

How could you not love Mark?

Hating him would be like
hating a Golden Retriever.

♪ When your legs don't work
like they used to before ♪

♪ And I can't sweep you
off of your feet... ♪

Does it ever feel like the universe

is trying to tell you
something everywhere you look?

♪ Will your mouth still
remember the taste of my love? ♪

Just stop the car.

- What?! Sam,
- ♪ Will your eyes still smile ♪

♪ from your cheeks ♪
- what is going on?!

- ♪ And darling I will ♪
- David b*at Goliath, by the way.

- ♪ be loving you ♪
- You can win this fight.

♪ 'til we're ♪

- (CHATTER)
- Hi.

- Vodka martini.
- Sure.

Now, to be fair, I did warn you
I was trying to poach your staff.

You stole more than just a chef...

he's family.

How could you do this to me?!

He's a rare talent...

- like you.
- If I meant anything to you,

if there was more
than an ounce of warmth

in that withered little heart of yours,

you would know that taking
Adam was a step too far!

Gina,

- please, don't cause a scene.
- I'm angry with you because you quit,

and I'm hurt because
you just left a note!

- Sorry, but...
- But more than that,

I want to scream in your face,

because God, you are too
smart to be part of his game!

Adam's an artist in my kitchen,

- he was a workhorse in yours.
- Excuse me, I'll tell you when I'm done.

You are a remarkable chef!

And one day you will own your
own chain of swanky restaurants

with much more swank than this,

but now is not your time.

If you really saw me as family

and not just some chef in your kitchen,

you wouldn't stand in my way.

He's called Carpe Diem, the peacock.

I didn't say it because it felt too...

- Pretentious?
- Yes...

but also ironic.

When I said all men are
dicks, that wasn't fair.

I mean, yes, most men are awful

and my taste in then is atrocious, but...
- (THUNDER)

But?

But...

when I'm with you, I
become this other person,

that kid you knew at school.

And Sammy had...

way better taste in men.

She could spot the good ones.

(THUNDER)

- (LAUGHS)
- OK, go! Go! Quick!

(BOTH LAUGH)

(THUNDER)

MUSIC: Flutter by The Unthanks

♪ Shades of colour ♪

♪ Life's a flutter ♪

♪ Life's a flutter ♪

♪ Life's a flutter ♪

♪ Flutter of shapes ♪

♪ Changing frames ♪

♪ Life's a flutter... ♪

(RAIN LASHES)

- Have you seen my mum?
- I'm sorry, no.

If you see her, can you
tell her I need to talk.

(THUNDER)

(THUNDER)

(PHONE RINGS)

- (PHONE RINGS)
- (GASPS)

- (TYRES SCREECH)
- (GASPS)

GINA: Teresa!

Come on!

(INDISTINCT)

You wanna talk or no?

- No.
- OK.

(THUNDER)

I mean, who's allergic to rain?

I had this whole dramatic moment
planned and now I'm just...

sitting here swelling up.

Well, if it cheers you up,

I've just made a fool of myself
in front of a whole restaurant

- full of posh the tourists.
- That does cheer me up.

- Thanks, Mum.
- You're welcome.

(WIND HOWLS)

- I'm pregnant... again.
- (THUNDER)

I f*cked up again. I'm sorry I'm
such a constant disappointment.

(THUNDER)

You do know that you were an accident?

Thanks, Mum. Kick a
girl when she's down.

You know, the best things in
life are not the things we plan,

it's the stuff that sideswipes
you on a wet Wednesday night.

You might be surprised,

this could be the best thing
that ever happened to you.

(THUNDER)

Ow!

- Ow!
- I know. Ow!

(WIND HOWLS)

You look cute when you frown.

- I do?
- Mm-hmm. Really cute.

What are you frowning about?

Michael.

Mimi.

(THUNDER)

Gina.

I let her fight Goliath alone.

Go and see if she's all right.

(RAIN LASHES)

I don't want to ruin this. (LAUGHS)

Nothing could ruin this.

(SIZZLING)

(CHATTER)

(SIGHS)

Did you win? Is Adam coming home?

No...

and you might want to... sit down.

This better be the cheap stuff.

Teresa has some... news.

I'm pregnant.

We're gonna be grandmothers!

Wow!

- Wow?
- Wow!

Does Michael know?

Yeah.

I can't be a grandmother!

And I can't be related to Eugene!

I mean, it's hard enough
trying to be your worstie!

You told them, then?

You knew?!

Darling, unlike you, I know
everything that goes on around here.

Are you gonna keep it? The baby?

I don't know.

Gina and Sam ***.

You are better than they
ever let you believe.

And to what do I owe
this unexpected pleasure?

- A menage à trois.
- I would like to have a funeral.

- Like a death party?
- I prefer the term "fake wake".

Did she tell you what she's
planning to do with the baby?

If she had confided in me, I
wouldn't betray her confidence.

When are you going to tell them?
I came clean, now it's your turn.

- I've got this!
- (SCREAMING)