04x03 - Virtual Reality

[bunniefuu]

[Brenda Lee's "Too Many Rivers"]

♪ ♪

BRENDA: ♪ I wish I could come back ♪

♪ To you, dear ♪

♪ 'Cause I know ♪

♪ That you want me too ♪

♪ But too much waters ♪

♪ Run under that old bridge ♪

♪ There's too many rivers ♪

♪ To cross ♪

[chuckles]

Oh, I see you've finally given in.

I know it sounds like a cliché,

but my last nine dates
have been t*rture.

Guess how many read books.

- Do you read books?
- Two.

And one of them read
the entire "Alex Cross" series,

which is maybe worse
than not reading at all.

I like Alex Cross.

Anyway, just be careful.

Some of Leia's clients
are addicted to those things.

She says it rewires the brain

with reward-driven video game behavior.

Oh, so different than
all the other stuff

designed by tech bros
worshipping at the altar

of social Darwinism?

I'm kidding, Leon. The architects

of our social lives are very empathetic.

Down the rabbit hole we go.

[clears throat]

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

[bumps chair]

f*ck.

♪ ♪

[knock at door]

Hm?

- Can I come in?
- Yeah.

Uh, do you want your phone back?

No.

Yes. Ugh.

Thanks.

Do you think my hand will ever
stop reaching for it

- when I wake up?
- Um...

if you don't wanna text her,
you can just call me.

- Or you can take a deep breath...
- Mom.

Right, sorry.

I have to break up
with all my clients today.

- Oh, no.
- Right.

Did I tell you about Cameron?
I told you about Cameron.

He's gonna freak out.

Best case scenario is he just
cries the whole 60 minutes.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay. I've got to go.

Bye.

[somber acoustic music]

♪ ♪

VALERIE: I know it's scary, Cameron,

but you have made so much progress.

Think about the first time
you came to me.

You were so angry.

And now you can call your
father and you can tell him

why his words hurt you
because you have a voice.

And you can use it and speak
to him like you speak to me.

And remember, when you're
meeting someone new,

they're also meeting somebody new.

And odds are, they're experiencing

the same feelings
and insecurities that you are.

Which is why I'm referring you to Leia

because you've known her for
many years and if you want,

I can give her access to all
the notes from all of

our sessions and she will
take amazing care of you.

f*ck that.

- Dylan.
- I like talking with you.

And I like talking with you too.

Then I don't really see the problem.

It's not personal. I'm doing this

with all of my clients.

Because of your wine store.

- Yes.
- [sighs]

- Can I be honest?
- Mm-hmm.

Opening a wine store
is a bad, bougie idea.

What will you do if it fails?

I am hoping that it doesn't fail, Dylan.

But what if it does?

Because so much of this is luck, timing.

What will you do?
Try to sell your equipment back

for pennies on the dollar?

Nobody wants that.

Those sad little auctions
where people's dreams

are always out of reach.

Forget I said that.

I promise, I won't talk
about the wine store.

It's a great idea.

I'm so sorry, but our time is up.

[indistinct chatter]

[pop music playing]

♪ ♪

[beeping]

Hi, I'm...

talking to thin air.

Cool.

- Hi, there.
- Sad? Overwhelmed?

- Yeah.
- Worried you'll never

find the answers to life's
daunting questions?

[upbeat acoustic music]

Ask your doctor about Viviatron,

and try a free sample today.

Oh, f*cking bot.

[laughs]

First time?

How could you tell?

You calling me a bot, jerk.

Well, you tried to sell me dr*gs.

And not the fun kind.

Well, you gave me a lovely pitch

on the merits of sport tampons.

No. Really?

The computer gets
ten seconds with our mouths.

The price we pay for virtual bliss.

Yeah, a room with a 3-D
composite of some strangers...

- pure bliss.
- Boy, you're fun.

It beats a loud bar with no
seating and strobe lights.

You don't like strobe lights, weird.

- [laughs]
- Where are you right now?

In my dining room.

What are you wearing?

A sweater.

And socks.

Oh, baby. I'm getting hot.

Where's your kid?

With her mom...

who's out of town with her
boyfriend for the first time.

Which, as you can tell,
I'm totally okay with.

[chuckles] Mine's with his dad.

sh*t. I... I gotta run.

Not to be too forward,
but will you meet me later

in a cheesy theme room
for a proper date?

If you say no, I'll stay
for another few minutes

and cr*ck jokes till I break you.

A theme room, huh?

Cheesy theme room.

- Hey, Chef.
- Laura.

So, um... do you think maybe I
could try a shift on sauté?

Or fish?

It's not that I don't
like salads, it's just...

I miss using a pan, you know?

Okay.

♪ ♪

sh*t.

- Hey, Laura?
- Huh?

You have a visitor.

Will you cover for me
for, like, 30 seconds?

Thank you.

[sighs]

Do not show up at my place of work.

Seriously? We had one argument.

Can you try not taking it to 100?

Look, you asked me
to respect your space.

I'm asking you to respect mine.

You tried to move in
without having a conversation,

and now you're not talking to me?

I don't have time for this right now.

Fine. Whatever.

If you decide to start
acting like an adult,

let me know.

I liked her bow.

Are you gonna miss it?

A little.

You could stay, and I will
drink wine with you here.

You're gonna be so much
better off without me.

Ugh, no.

[sighs] Is this a terrible decision?

The store? And the debt sheets?

And the thousands of dollars
in remodeling

and outstanding permits.

Oh, my God. This is... this a...

- this is a terrible decision.
- Yeah, well,

if you make a mess of it,
you can just come back

and be my assistant.

Thanks, Leia.

Should we celebrate tonight?

We could do another puzzle.

Um, I want to do that,

it's just that Laura set me up
with one of the investors

from her restaurant.

Oh, that's... nice of her.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

Hey.

Don't forget about me.

[beeping]

[jazzy music playing]

♪ ♪

Would you like a costume change?

Um... [sighs] Okay, sure.

You can buy it if you'd like.

Custom made and delivered

in three to five business days.

- [beeping]
- Hi.

- Eat Wendy's!
- Jesus, f*ck.

- Wendy's?
- Uh-huh.

I hate that one. [laughs]

Look at that tux.

- Yeah. Should I buy it?
- Yes.

You'll definitely wear a tuxedo

more than once every three years.

- Hm. Is that a dare?
- I dare you.

- I'll take it.
- [laughs] I like it.

A man of impulse and bad decisions.

Yeah, well. What do we do now?

Do we, like, solve a crime?

Do we escape?

Here's what I'm thinking:

in the movies, the lady in the dress

always plays quiet and sexy
while the detective

- does all the work, right?
- Right.

Which is bullshit.
I wanna be the detective.

So how about I aggressively
ask you first date questions

and you humor me?

Agress away.

- Who was your first kiss?
- Wow. Getting right to it.

If that's too risqué,
we are going to have a problem.

Okay.

Jackie Bays on the school bus.

I was 11 years old,
and she broke up with me

the next day.

- So sad.
- Ouch.

Mm-hmm.

What'd you wanna be when you grew up?

- Respected.
- Job wise, idiot.

Astronaut. Explorer? Astronaut.

Childhood hero.

My sister.

Aww.

You guys still close?

We are.

That's really sweet.

♪ ♪

- Valerie?
- Oh, hi.

It's the Wine Fairy.

[chuckles] I'm John.

- Oh, God. Um...
- You can call me

the Wine Fairy if you want.

No, that's what Laura calls you.

- Cool.
- Have a seat.

All right. Thanks.

- Oh, is this your space?
- Oh, no.

These are just my inspiration photos.

But, you know, I really...

I like the space in this one.

You know, there's room
for people to move around

and talk and you can start slow
with inventory,

order a few cases at a time,
be flexible.

- Do you have a basement?
- I do.

Are you looking to dump a body?

[laughs] No, but you should
temperature control it

- and rent out locker space.
- Okay.

That sounds complicated.

The reason I ask...
if I'm being honest...

- Yes, please.
- The margins on these stores

are thin enough as it is.

And empty space and buying
a case at a time

just kinda makes it sound like
this is a...

a lovely little money pit.

- Yeah.
- But... that depends

on what you're selling.

- Nicer wines help.
- Mm-hmm.

So are you gonna stock by region

or just pick your favorites?

I just...

kinda wanna just sell what I like.

Great. So what do you like?

Red.

- [laughs]
- I like a lot of things.

I like full-bodied, I like
medium... medium-bodied too.

I like chiantis.
I like all the Italians.

You know, malbecs, Syrah, um...

But I also like to drink white wine.

I like that a lot too.

I mean, like I said, I... I... I like...

it's a lot of things.

I really like wine.

This is totally unhelpful, isn't it?

You're enthusiastic, which is great.

But you're gonna have to
make some decisions here.

- Like, who are you buying from?
- Mm-hmm.

Are you gonna do beer and food?

And that'll affect permitting
and infrastructure.

But first, yeah, you...
you gotta figure out

what you wanna sell.

[sighs]

[light folk music]

♪ ♪

It's late.

My weekend just started.

- Yay!
- [laughs]

Man...

what do you call it

when you become
a sad parody of yourself?

- Pierce Morgan?
- [laughs]

Hey, how was John?

Oh, um...

you know, just...

I haven't even started
and I'm in over my head.

But thank you. I appreciate the intro.

You're welcome.

Um... if you're still
in the giving spirit,

uh, do you wanna help
at the store tomorrow?

I have to pick paint and build shelves.

Never... that's stupid.
Never mind, never mind.

- Okay.
- No. Really?

Yeah.

That's great. I mean, that's so helpful.

So...

- I gotta go to bed.
- BOTH: Okay.

- Good night.
- Bye.

[tense orchestral music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Really?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[music stops]

[sighs]

This is terrible.

Hey, so, um...

how can you afford to do this?

The store?

I saved a little money.

And now I'm spending it.

Ohh.

I was wondering what happened
to my college fund.

I know it sounds crazy. I get it.

But...

If I wanna f*ck up my life,
I wanna do it on my terms.

Yeah. You want it to be perfect.

I want it to be mine.

I want this shade of pink on my walls.

And I want racks over there.

I want a pour station right here.

I want it to be a place
where people come together,

spend time.

Like a living room.

- With a sh*t ton of wine.
- Exactly.

[laughs] Yeah.

But I don't even know
what I'm selling and I don't...

even know what I like.

There are so many options.

- Where to start?
- I don't know.

Buy wine.

Right? I mean, that's the fun of it all.

You get to throw parties
and call it research.

♪ ♪

[both laughing]

- Wow.
- Thank you.

I think the only thing
stupider than a limo

is a virtual limo.

Just imagine that we're going to prom.

Okay, great.

- Now I have an erection.
- [laughs]

[both laugh]

Oh, my God, this song.

[Next's "Too Close" playing]

♪ ♪

Um... I wanna meet you.

Me too.

sh*t.

That's a pause.

There's a bot coming.

No, no, I do. I just...

[sighs] Sometimes these spaces
work better apart...

the virtual and the physical.

And you don't wanna get physical.

I do.

We could try it here first.

How?

Well...

I touch myself and think of you,

you touch yourself and think of me.

- [sighs]
- And we remember

that we're the only two people
in this world

of zeroes and ones at this exact moment.

And even though we aren't
really together,

we kind of are.

[beeps]

What's this?

Oh, it's just a consent form.

[pen scratching paper]

[sighs]

I feel very silly.
Can we change the song?

Shh.

I love a night where I make $14 in tips.

No, I literally have no tickets.

It's cool, though, 'cause my landlord

will definitely understand.

You can sleep on my mom's
floor if you get evicted.

Thanks, that's nicer than
a tent under the freeway.

Um, how's bow girl?

Don't ask.

- Aw, young love.
- Why can't she just

set herself on fire

and take her well-curated
digital footprint with her?

- [sighs]
- Hey, can we drink

all of your top-shelf liquor?

Laura needs it and I want it.

And everyone's solution
to everything is drinking.

Is that really all we have?

Um, you can always try and find God.

Oh, pass.

I guess I'll just sit here
in your empty restaurant

- and wallow.
- No, no, no. Don't do that.

Amy wants to cut staff
and get people off the clock.

So go home.

What are you up to?

Just gonna try to find a
decent glass of wine somewhere.

I might know a place.

It's my mom's house.

I'm talking about my mom's house.

[doo-wop music playing]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

Oh, hey.

Wow. Sorry, I just had to make sure

it's really you and not your ghost,

since apparently that's all I get now.

- I'm sorry. I'm the worst.
- You really are.

- Can we hang out?
- Yeah, we're hanging out

- right now.
- Uh, well,

I'm hanging out. You're on your phone.

- Okay.
- You should come to my store.

- I will.
- And we need to see Mom.

I know. Ugh.

On that note,
I'm gonna go... drink heavily.

Okay.

Okay, you're good.

I just... oh, yeah, okay.

Everything good?

Yeah, good.

You?

Good.

- I'm so tired.
- Me too.

- [sighs]
- Should we leave?

I don't wanna be rude to Val.

You're pregnant.

It's the only time a woman
gets a pass at being rude.

Okay. Let's leave.

- Just... yeah, just go.
- Okay, sure.

- So what do you think?
- I think you should

- introduce me to your brother.
- [clears throat]

No, I mean about the wines. Do you...

Is it weird? I don't think it's weird.

I should just talk to him.

I'm gonna go talk to him.

- Hi!
- Hi. I brought

a couple friends.

- I hope that's okay.
- Oh, hi.

- This is Jess.
- How are you?

- Nice to meet you.
- And you know John.

- Oh, yes. Hello. Hi.
- Hello.

[chuckles] Um...

- Gonna swipe these real quick.
- Okay.

- [laughs] Thank you.
- Uh, okay,

do you... would you like a drink?

Sure. I'll have your favorite red.

Okay. Hm.

What's so interesting
in that phone of yours?

I'm just waiting for somebody.

Is it perhaps another
nice looking, single man?

- It's a woman.
- A girlfriend?

Uh, well, we haven't
had that conversation.

Feels like it's maybe
headed that direction, though?

Yeah, maybe. It's hard to say.

- Okay.
- I guess, I don't know.

I... it's like, she's really engaged,

she asks a lot of questions.

I've honestly never met someone

who wanted to know so much about me.

That sounds really special.
Where do you meet her?

Uh, well, it's actually
our first time meeting.

It's this online bar.

Really, it's a bunch
of different places.

- Like VR?
- Yeah, I know.

It's a little weird at first,
but after a couple times

you can hardly tell the difference.

She ask you a bunch of sh*t
from when you were a kid?

Like dreams and car types
and first kisses?

- Yeah, she does.
- Yeah, those are

security questions.

That girl's not real. I mean, she's real

like, she's a person,
but she's a person in Moldova

- who's going to rob you.
- [laughs]

- Okay. Come on.
- Okay, well,

did you show her your signature?

Like, maybe on one of those
consent forms

for, like, a virtual masturbatorium?

Masturbatorium's not a word.

You should cancel your credit cards.

- Really nice meeting you.
- Bye.

What do you think?

Doesn't matter what I think.

- I'm not the one selling it.
- Well, technically,

I'm not either, I just, um,

have this big empty space
I need to fill.

If you really want my help,

you should show me your actual store.

- Yeah.
- Let me give you

- an honest assessment.
- Okay.

Yeah. See what we're working with.

- Yeah, yeah.
- All right.

- Great. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Hm.

Hey, um, I'm taking off.

Want some company?

Nah. I'm gonna go see a guy.

- Anyone I know?
- Nope.

- He's disposable.
- Ah.

You know, you could just go talk to her.

I don't know, showing up in
person, that's...

pretty rare.

No one's ever come
to see me at the restaurant.

Adios.

[door opens, closes]

[muffled music playing]

[panting]

[sighs]

[beeping]

[jazzy music playing]

♪ ♪

Would you like a costume change?

No.

[sighs]

- [chimes]
- User search.

Recent connections. Rachel Collins.

[sighs]

[somber acoustic guitar music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[music fades]

[doorbell dings]

Sorry, man. I know it's late,

but if I don't make a full
delivery, they dock me.

My 168th delivery of the day.

New record. Whoo! Sign here.

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

Thank you.

[chuckles]

[Blac Rabbit's "The Way The Wind Whips"]

- Ova.
- [chiming]

Call American Express.

OVA: Calling American Express.

[sighs]

MAN: ♪ I once had a lot of friends ♪

♪ But now they're gone ♪

♪ Because I thought I knew it all ♪

♪ I thought I knew it all ♪

♪ Now I feel much closer to the Earth ♪

♪ Because I know ♪

♪ Just how the wind moves ♪

♪ I can follow ♪

♪ How the wind whips ♪

♪ I can follow ♪

♪ I can feel the ground
beneath my feet ♪

♪ It's incredible ♪

♪ But just a thought ♪

♪ It's just a thought ♪