03x22 - U-N-R-- UNREALISTIC

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Speechless". Aired: September 2016 to April 2019.*
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"Speechless" follows a family with a special-needs child, that is good at dealing with the challenges it faces and excellent at creating new ones.
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03x22 - U-N-R-- UNREALISTIC

Post by bunniefuu »

Once upon a time, there was a woman.

And the woman gave birth to
a beautiful, incredible boy

who all the nurses agreed
was "quite a looker."

But not everyone saw what she saw.

That the boy was unstoppable.

They said her dreams for
him were "not realistic."

I'm sorry, Mrs. DiMeo.

Your son's ability to interact
with the world around him

will be very limited.

I'm just being realistic.

Insurance won't cover it.

JJ will never be able to
operate a power chair.

Please be realistic.

Our school doesn't have the resources

to mainstream your son.

It's not realistic.

MAYA: But she was wrong.

And she was wrong.

And he was wrong.

And never validated my parking.

Over the years,

the pair proved wrong
every person who said

that incredible boy's dreams
were "not realistic."

♪ ♪

And now, here we stand

on the brink of this incredible boy

graduating and going off to college.

And I'll tell you what
I told all of them...

I want this for my son.

Don't tell me it's not realistic.

Well, our graduation photos
come in standard sizes.

But, okay. We'll do a special order.

Yeah, he was right. That is too big.

[LAUGHS]

TOGETHER: N-Y-U!

N-Y-U!

- N...
- Today is the day

my boy is getting into his dream school.

"Where he'll go with his dream girl."

I know, and I'm the
most excited one here!

N-Y-U! N-Y-U!

I'm the most excited
one here with dignity.

TOGETHER: N-Y-U!

N-Y-U!

N... [SIGHS HEAVILY]

Pretending to be excited about NYU?

It's just so bloody exhausting!

I mean, I don't know why I agreed.

Hon, we don't even know
if he's gonna get in.

He's getting in. A mother knows.

All right, help me
practice my happy face.

Go on. Tell me he got into NYU.

JJ got into NYU!

Aaaaggghh!

No notes.

Oh, you're not getting back
into model trains, are you?

It's a replica of the
Golden Gate Bridge.

A little father-daughter activity

Dylan and I are working on.

You know the special
relationship we have.

She relishes any chance she
has to spend time with me.

It's really sweet.

Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

It's your homework?!

Did Mom tell you?

Damn foreigners.

I tried to do it myself.

I... It was too hard!

I didn't have the right supplies,

I couldn't figure out what to do...

- No more excuses.
- Whoa.

You just sounded like a real dad there.

Well, you tried to manipulate your dad,

you're gonna get a dad lesson.

Do the work and see how
rewarding that can be.

Or half-ass it and deal
with the consequences.

Fine.

Gimme a quick refresher.

This is a...

It's the Golden Gate Bridge.

KENNETH: Dude!

When were you gonna tell me

about the speech you're
giving at graduation?

"Oh, yeah. The class chose me."

This is incredible!

I've been thinking a lot
about our goodbye...

to Lafayette, to each other.

Now we have our forum.

[CHUCKLES] So, what are you gonna say?

"I'm just gonna wing it."

Wing it? Oh, no.

You are no good on your feet,

so I end up standing there reading,

looking like an idiot.

[CHUCKLES]

You're writing that speech, Mister!

Laura, looking lovely.

Sara, simply stunning. Yara...

Ya-ra ten!

Ray, word in the girls'
bathroom is you're being

way more desperate than
normal. What's up?

Junior class trip is coming up.

Technically, we're
supposed to be studying

the native marine biology
of Catalina Island,

but everyone knows we'll be studying

lips, hips, and fingertips.

Just... truly disgusting.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

- I got a B-plus on this.
- Very nice.

See what happens when you
listen to your old man?

What's this project?

This is for work.

Your dad's got an interview

at an architecture firm next month.

Yeah, it has just been
flowing out of me.

I even made a bet with myself
for extra motivation...

I am not gonna shave my mustache

until I land some kind
of architecture gig.

Wow, Dad. I'm proud of you.

Y-You're proud of me?

Uh-huh.

- This... This matters to you?
- Yeah.

You know what?

I'm gonna do the mustache
thing in solidarity.

♪ ♪

Well, this isn't good enough.

It's happening! It's happening!

They posted the acceptances!

- Did he get in?!
- I don't know.

Izzy just called to say that they're up.

JJ wants to FaceTime alone
with her so they can check!

♪ ♪

Non-verbal.

- Oh, of course.
- Sure.

- Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right.
- MAYA: It's happening!

My little boy is getting into NYU!

[LAUGHS]

I'll save it for him.

- [THUD, BEEPING]
- Oh, this is it.

All right, just give me
a minute. [SIGHS]

Yay!

Oh.

JIMMY: JJ.

Buddy...

Oh, my love.

I'm sorry. I know how
much you wanted this.

Please don't be sad, JJ.

Do you want me to call them?

Mummy will call. Mummy will scream!

Okay. But we're going to
find the positive in this.

KENNETH: "NYU rejected Izzy, too.

She's going to Chapman.

I got into Irvine.

I'll go there."

[CHAIR SQUEAKS]

Irvine? [CHUCKLES]

"The next town over" Irvine? That one?

You... You'd be happy with that?

Going and being in the
next town over... ?

Yeah. Well, cool, cool, cool, yeah.

"You've pretended enough for one day.

You can be happy."

Haaa-hahaha!

[LAUGHS]

Ohh, I think I've forgotten how.

_

- This is it.
- IZZY: Hey, JJ.

How many pizza bagels you
think we can fit in here?

- [LAUGHS]
- MAYA: Aww.

She's not even reading

- his words out loud anymore.
- Ah.

Wish there was a woman that
could read my board like that.

All our units have a*t*matic
doors, accessible showers...

It's close to home,

close to school, close to your love.

I mean, the shades are
lovely, aren't they?

- They're okay.
- She hates them! Get rid of them!

[CHUCKLES]

- What?
- I just like watching people

experience you for the first time.

So, you're really okay
with JJ moving out?

Well, it's mad, right?
But it's not New York.

"This place is amazing."

Is that an "I'll take it"?

Great. I'll get the paperwork.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Aww.

I'm so glad that this worked out.

I just want you to be happy.

Yeah, your mom's got your back.

Maybe there's room to
mention it in your speech?

"Nothing but room."

- "I'm gonna wing it."
- What?

It's been a month! You
didn't even start?

Oh, I get it. You're messing with me.

You say you'll wing it,

but then you'll show up
with the perfect speech.

[LAUGHING] Okay. Good stuff.

JJ will be winging it.

What's wrong with you people?!

- [GRUNTS]
- Ooh!

F-Found a dent.

Okay, Ray.

You're at camp with no dating prospects,

but you do have spunk and
seven new anecdotes.

What's happening?

The trip just started.

COACH: Who said that?

Ray DiMeo, Coach. But you call me...

Oh, hey, nerdlinger.

All the guys in your grade

locked me in my cabin
with an angry raccoon.

Had to climb out a window,

which I didn't realize
was over a ravine.

They shouldn't put
ravines under windows.

Wait, so the trip is cancelled?

For those jackasses.

Sorry, Ray, I'm gonna have to
leave you alone on this island

with all your female classmates.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

So, I'm the only boy on this trip.

Get me away from this kid.

Hey, Dad. [SIGHS] How's
the model coming?

Coming along great. Great. I just
need to figure out how to...

Wait, have you done anything in a month?

I grew a mustache.

Your interview's tomorrow.

You think I don't know that?

All day, I try.

It's just so hard!

Really?

Well, well, well...

looks like somebody's not
up to finishing their work.

[GASPS] Know who you
should talk to 'bout that?

My dad.

Seemed to have it all figured out.

This is different, Dylan.

This is for a job, not a grade.

I don't even have a
real drafting pencil.

I can't be expected to finish this thing

without a GraphGear 500 a*t*matic!

[SLAMS TABLE] No more excuses!

Buckle down, do your work,

and you'll see how rewarding it can be.

Fine.

Only boy here. Can't lose.

Brianna. Flowers?

Camille G? No?

Danielle?

Flowers for a rose?

Anyway, it's gonna be...

Okay, am I really that bad?

I understood you ignoring me

when you had all the other guys here,

but come on, ladies.

What gives?

Maybe it's because we all learned

that you take any attention as interest.

Also, raise your hand
if Ray has hit on you.

Okay, the double hand-raise
is unnecessary, Sarah.

Look, clearly there is
something wrong with me.

I think it's time I find out what.

So, lay it on me.

You want to hear about
everything that bothers us?

I do. We came here to study
the biology of Catalina.

Instead, let's study the
guy-ology of Ray DiMeo.

I hated that.

And we're off!

You did all these?

Dang, I dad-ded you up real nice.

No, I hate every single one I start.

That one's trying too hard.

That one's just lazy.

This one gave me a paper cut.

What are you doing?

Finding the one you hate the least.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

No! That one shows promise.

Good. That one is your baby.

Finish it.

You were so excited. What changed?

You.

I was having fun. It was easy.

Then you said you were "proud" of me,

and it stopped being about fun.

If I fail, I disappoint everyone.

I disappoint you.

Me? [CHUCKLES]

Dad, I've got fantastic news.

I don't care. I love you.

But when you start talking
your building stuff?

It's all cartoon bears
on unicycles up here.

Okay.

Hurtful, but... but helpful.

Thank you, Dylan.

Anytime, Jimbo.

Oops!

Hey. Everything okay?

[SIGHS]

"It's Izzy.

Please don't get involved,

but she broke up with me."

Hello, Izzy.

Time for a talk.

Why didn't you ring the bell?

[SINISTERLY] Oh, I like a good surprise.

What you said to JJ about breaking up?

That was a bad surprise.

Can you stop using that sinister tone?

[SINISTERLY] Is this better?

JJ is the one you should talk to.

He can't plan his life around me.

We're kids. It's not...

Don't say "realistic."

It's a bit of a trigger.

[SIGHS] Fine, you want to know?

We were in the store,
looking at shams...

You're the sham! Sorry.

I actually do want to hear this.

JJ got an e-mail.

From NYU.

They're still writing him.

To reconsider coming.

He got in.

He what?

[SIGHS] It's his dream and
he said no to be with me.

I begged him to go, but
he won't listen to me.

There's just one person
he will listen to.

Okay.

What. Is. Wrong. With. Ray.

Might I be a, uh, hideous ghoul?

I mean, not physically...

Interesting.

"Not physically hideous."

Good. All right. Now
let's talk negatives.

Ooh! Molly!

You seem to particularly dislike me.

You're pretty insecure.

But weirdly also way too confident.

Insecure and too confident.

Bit of a paradox, okay.

SARAH: And I know this
isn't really your fault,

but you got too tall too fast.

- [MURMURING AGREEMENTS]
- Okay.

Still writing the last one, Sarah, 'kay?

[SIGHS]

Fine! Don't write a speech!

I don't care!

Three years together

and I ask you to do one thing!

But noooo!

Okay! Have a nice life!

Just do b*llet points, man.

No, huh?

Just sit there with your sad face.

Yeah! You should be sad!

You're a bum!

A sad bum!


Little context:

Izzy just broke up with him.

Oh, I'm so sorry. [CRYING]

Just write a little!

Look at me off to meet a potential boss

for drinks at a swanky bar.

I feel like Don Draper.

You finished. Nice work.

Thanks, Dylan.

Oh, hang on.

For good luck.

This is the exact pencil I said.

So you do listen.

And you care.

Get. Feeling stompy.

Okay, so, finger g*ns are bad.

But let me ask you this:

are they less bad if I
get a leather jacket?

- [GROANING]
- DANIELLE: We don't know, Ray.

Okay? Get a leather jacket,
don't. What's the point?

The point is to make this work.

With who?

Anyone! I'm not picky!

Any one of you works.

That's how it feels.

It's not about us.

Who picks flowers without
knowing who they're for?

That's not love.

Y-You're right.

I've been chasing a
feeling, not a person.

You don't know us.

And you're so busy trying to get us

to notice you, we don't get to know you.

I've been so stupid.

Maybe there's still time.

[SIGHS] Hi. My name is Ray.

I'm not a lothario.

I've had one girlfriend

and she said my kisses "needed work."

I really like Rubik's Cubes.

I pretend I know how to
solve them, but I don't.

So I carry around one
to swap it out with.

I get sad when I'm not
invited to parties,

but strongly prefer using
the bathroom at my house.

And I say all these things
to a doll named Tony

who I tell all my problems.

Damn, DiMeo!

No way.

- [LAUGHTER]
- They let you come back?

My dad's a lawyer.

He said he was gonna sue the school.

Coach is coming from the hospital.

He's bringing beer.

CHAD: Too bad school's over, DiMeo.

We'll have to make fun of you
for that stuff next year.

Aah!

Hey, hey, guys!

I've got a variety.

Hope that's cool.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

JIMMY: He got into NYU?

Well, he has to go, right?

Well, without question.

Except one question:

does he have to go?

Jimmy, he wants to stay.

For his high school girlfriend?

I mean, New York is his dream.

I don't want him to go.

But I was ready to let him.

I don't have it in me
to force him, Jimmy.

Maya.

Look at the big picture.

♪ ♪

- It's just so stupid.
- Yeah.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Dr. Miller!

Shouldn't you be onstage

mispronouncing Indian students' names?

I've been practicing. I plan to crush.

Now, I've come to expect
an endearing tardiness

from the DiMeos.

Your invitation says 11:00.

The ceremony doesn't start till noon.

Aww.

Congratulations, JJ.

We're really gonna miss you.

♪ ♪

And we'll miss Bhagyasharee
Shrinivasaraghavan-Mutyala.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Hi, Ray.

That's the third girl to
acknowledge my existence today.

Oh, word in the girls' bathroom
is you impressed everyone

with how vulnerable and
honest you were on the trip.

The junior girls have decided

to make you their project next year.

You're gonna crush it. I'm furious.

Uh, sorry, I had to take a phone call.

Wait. Oh, my God!

- They want me. [CHUCKLES]
- I can't bel...

Whoa, Dad. You are bleeding.

What?

Oh, yeah, do not shave
with art class scissors.

Dad lesson.

♪ ♪

Oh, buddy.

[CHUCKLES] Look at you.

"Let's talk speech."

You'd do that for me?

Thanks, JJ.

You're up next and that
valedictorian girl is k*lling it.

- So, I had a few thoughts.
- [DOOR OPENS]

JJ, I've got to talk to you.

No!

No, you don't!

Please!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Izzy told me you got into NYU.

I'm not saying you have to go, I can't.

But tell me what you're thinking.

You can tell me.

"I won't leave her, Mom."

Again, I'm not saying you have to go.

But if you did...

it could still work with Izzy.

"Because I'm so good on the phone?

Because I'm so worth waiting for?"

"I found someone who loves me, Mom.

If I leave, I lose her.

I may never find someone again.

Be realistic." [LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

My love, you know what you have to do.

I've opened so many doors for you,

but you walked through every one.

And look what it got you.

[LAUGHING] This silly hat.

Don't tell me to be realistic.

Don't tell you,

'cause that's not what got you here.

You be afraid, fine.

But don't stay out of fear.

That's not what love is, darling.

This is love.

Go.

DR. MILLER: Please welcome to the stage

- your student speaker...
- [DOOR OPENS]

- Buddy.
- ... JJ DiMeo!

You're on.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

- We love you!
- JJ!

- DiMeo!
- Whoo! JJ!

GIRL: Love you, JJ!

[BEEPING]

You wrote a speech?

[LAUGHS]

It's funny. It just is.

Your words, my voice, for the last time.

♪ ♪

Students.

[VOICE BREAKING] Facul... ty...

[SNIFFLES] Brrrb.

[QUIETLY] Hold it together.
Hold it together.

[EXHALES SHARPLY, SNIFFLES]

Don't do this.

[CROWD "AWW"ING]

[SOBBING] I stand before
you as a confi... "

[SOBS]

[FEEDBACK]

[SOBBING]

I'm just so proud!

[CLEARS THROAT] "My road to
Lafayette was a long one.

The road ahead...

[VOICE BREAKING] ... is even longer.

I know... "

[CRYING]

- Weenie.
- You just cried!

JIMMY: I got this.

There's gotta be some...
some jokes in here

somewhere, right?

Yeah. [CLEARS THROAT]

"And who could forget the lunches?

Beefaroni?"

[VOICE BREAKING] "More like... "

You're right, son. It is
more like barf-aroni.

[SIGHS]

MAYA: It's okay, Jimmy.

"Forget what I wrote.

I have one message.

A lesson I was learning
every day for years

without realizing it.

I learned it again today.

From my first teacher."

♪ I'm the king of my own land ♪

Take it home, Kenneth.

"It's a hard lesson.

It can make you do things
you don't want to.

Like say goodbye."

♪ Facing tempests of dust,
I'll fight until the end ♪

"Be unrealistic.

Be unrealistic.

Thank you."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪ ♪

[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hey!

Watch where you're going, you [BLEEP]

♪ ♪

Time!

Hey, only three hours late this time.

Two months until classes start.

We're gonna get you down to the DiMeo

respectable 15 minutes in no time.

Okay! Let's try this again, people!

♪ ♪
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