02x06 - Episode 6

[bunniefuu]

The Logie noms are fast approaching,

and the powers that be
want The Breakfast Bar

to be f*ring on all three cylinders.

I love him.

Tell him.

He's happy.

I'm sorry for plunking
a hot celebrity chef

in your line of sight.

Do not need a set up, by the way.

So?

Yeah, she's... she's amazing.

First impression, she's
like a perfect woman.

Settle down.

There are consequences to sex.

Herpes?

Children.

Oh, my God! What are you doing?

- Um, just... Ah!
- Get off me!

How did this happen?

Jack Winters, I want forever.

♪ I know it's making you sick ♪

♪ There's nothing there,
it's like eating air ♪

♪ It's like drinking gin
with nothing else in ♪

♪ And that doesn't hold me together ♪

♪ But for one crowded hour ♪

♪ You were the only one in the room ♪

♪ And I sailed around all
those bumps in the night ♪

♪ To your beacon in the gloom. ♪

(PHONE RINGS)

♪ I thought I had found... ♪

VOICEMAIL: Hi, this is Pete.
Leave a message.

♪ In the middle of that purple June ♪

♪ But one crowded hour ♪

♪ Would lead to my wreck and ruin ♪

♪ I know you like your boys
to take their medicine ♪

♪ From the bowl to their silver spoon. ♪

Me, prep the vegetables?

You sure you trust me to do that?

Just dice the onion finely,

slice the chilli into rings
and julienne the rest.

Okay, what I just heard was,

"Blah blah, onions, blah blah,
chilli, Julian Lennon."

Look, I'll be home soon.

We're just running a
little behind schedule.

I can't announce this without you!

Jack, let's go. We're about to film.

Look, all you need to do
is peel, dice, slice,

and I'll be there soon.

It might seem obvious to you,

but I'm a culinary
civilian and you're...

famous.

Now, let's dice some onions.

(PHONE RINGS)

Sasha.

Buenas tardes!

Eric. Um, hola?

SASHA: Sorry, he insisted
you be in on this discussion.

Yeah, Lily, I want to put
together a development team

for a really rewarding
new global project.

He means a half-hour TV special.

He means a series of half-hour specials.

If he wins the Gold Logie.

Can we just wait till the
nominations come out tomorrow?

Do you guys really
need me here for this?

I've got something big on today.

Yes, listen!

This passion project of mine, it's, it's...

Okay, Lily, picture this.

I'm in w*r zones, back alleys,

and I'm talking to the
displaced and the voiceless.

You know, I'm talking to these people

about what it means to be oppressed.

I pitched a project
like that myself once.

Really?

So, you're in! (SNAPS FINGERS)

I'm sorry, Eric, but...

Breakfast Bar already takes
up more time than I have.

Oh, okay.

You don't want to help the
displaced and the voiceless, Lily.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Can I help them tomorrow?

- Hey, Lil.
- Hi!

Always blade down when
you're carrying a Kn*fe.

Oh, never too late for life advice, Dad.

Hello. Oh, bonjour!

We're not early, are we, darl?

Um, yeah, you're
minutes, but that's okay.

I'm on top of everything.

I've told all my friends that Jack
Winters is gonna cook for us.

You're not gonna make a
liar out of me, are you?

Of course Jack Winters
will be cooking, all right?

- Jack is cooking, isn't he, darl?
- (DOORBELL RINGS)

Um... yeah, the nibbles are...

You might need to hunt around, sorry.

Hello, hello, welcome to us!

Hi!

Ivan. Nice surprise to see you.

Oh, well, chuffed to be invited.

Come on through.

Just, uh, yeah, head down.

Mum...

Why have you brought Ivan?

Well, he has more right to
be here than you-know-who.

Tell me you didn't bring
him to make Dad jealous.

No! No!

He's been asking me out for weeks.

Besides, Bernard and I have
resolved just to be friends.

(GIGGLES)

Okay, just...

I know I'm late. I'm sorry. We got
held up. I literally just wrapped.

Dad came early,

and Yvonne is dressed for a date
with celebrity chef Jack Winters.

My mum brought Pete's dad

and... and... and scones
and jam and cream,

and I don't know how you savants do
that thing with zucchini sticks,

but mine are all different sizes.

It's fine, I can do it.

Yeah, bring the books! Bring Gillian!

Bring her, just get here now!

You wanted me?

Yeah, um... ahem.

Just going over the content
for tomorrow's announcement.

The, um, the nomination speech
and the concession speech.

Hey, I... I feel bad.

It's only a first draft.

No, no, I meant, um...

the fact we haven't
spoken since, um, we...

I mean, do you want
to talk about it, or...

I'm pregnant.

I'm kidding!

We had our fun. Let's
just leave it at that.

Mm-hm.

TBH, you're not the right
value-add for my brand.

My cross-platform media profile
places me firmly on the A-list,

whereas your social media
value is a soft C,

- maybe even C-minus.
- Sorry, what?

- That's not a criticism.
- Okay.

It's much harder because
you're not famous,

but you could get to a B.

You just have to want it.

You know, go to the
gym, or hire a stylist.

Finesse!

I go to the gym.

Yeah, it's obvious.

Uh, Dad likes your document.
He's scheduled a meeting.

Right. Well, that's good, yeah?

Very good.

He wants to get a personal
gut vibe on you, though.

It's about the microflora response.

- Right.
- So, start practising your pitch!

Okay.

But don't try and be charming.
Dad hates charming.

Sure.

Pitch it, not charming.

Thanks.

Thanks, everyone.

No, Alice, no. Not that one, sorry.

No, that doesn't fit.

I'll get the other one
that fits from the laundry.

Hey.

Why are you being so stressy
about a family dinner?

Because it's being crashed
by uninvited plus-ones!

Hey, you're the one pushing
me to take Alice seriously,

but you don't lead by example.

You... you second-best her,

you give her all the
crap segments at work.

That's not true!

That is not even remotely true.

(MUSIC PLAYS)

(CLUCKS LIKE A CHICKEN)

You need to make more of
an effort, and so do you.

Sim does make an effort.

- Righto.
- I'll try.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

- Sorry.
- Yeah, no.

- That'll be Jack. Okay.
- Okay.

Hey! I came to get your
advice on pitching,

but...

I'm interrupting.

It's a family dinner.

So I see.

Your dad wasn't invited, either.

Right. Has anyone told him that yet?

Um, so what's the dinner for?

Uh... do you want to come inside?

Okay, thank you.

Pitching, so...

Um, yeah, yes.

Ah, looks formal.

Yeah, it's...

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CLINKS GLASS)

Okay, thank you.

Oh, speeches!

Uh, thanks, everyone, for making it.

Very delighted you could be
here for this special dinner.

Lil, you want to do the honours?

Uh...

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Formal speeches, um...

This special dinner for our family,

and extended family and friends...

is to celebrate something very
important to me and Jack.

Jack and I, sorry. Sorry, Mum.

Um, and that is...

- Lily and I are getting married.
- We're...

(GASPS) Oh, yes! Congratulations!

(APPLAUSE, CHATTER)

I'm so happy for you.

Thanks, Anthony.

Come here, girl!

Oh, darling.

Oh, that is so wonderful!

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey, can I just say I am so proud

and a little teary, but
it could be the chilli.

But seriously, well done, you.

So, where's the ring?

Okay, so we decided to go ring shopping.

Together, for a bit of fun.

- Yeah.
- It was fun, right?

I don't want something that
screams that you own me.

What, I want to buy you something nice,

that means that I'm trying to own you?

I think you might be a little bit...

- Calm down, Beyonce.
- (CAMERA FLASHES)

- We got papped.
- Yeah.

Oh!

This little weasel hiding behind a pole.

No.

So, we ditched tradition
and bought this table.

- Yeah.
- Ah!

Instead, yeah.

Something that we can enjoy together,

and we won't lose it at the beach,

and whenever we sit here with
our friends and our family,

we'll be making memories

and those memories will
be the, um, the...

of our marriage.

IVAN: That's beautiful.

To Jack and Lil.

Yeah, Jack and Lil.

Oh!

Sorry, sorry.

- Oops.
- First blood!

- So...
- So.

You remind me of this guy that I
almost went home with one time.

I'm not really sure what happened,

but we were in this Uber...

Oh, no need to go into details.

He sounds like a massive dickhead,

and I'm sure he totally regrets
whatever didn't happen.

Oh, she looked radiant, didn't she?

I know, and he is a really good man.

So, I'll get to give her away!

Oh, well, only if you're paying,

although if you are,

they'll have to let you
have a say, Anthony.

Paying?

They're not that traditional, are they?

- I mean, he gave her a table!
- I know.

Excuse me, Anthony.

I'm just gonna take this little
lady home for some dessert.

Oh!

Too much?

Oh, my, that was fantastic!

Dessert, ha ha!

Yeah, look, I don't mind
making your ex jealous, but...

Hey!

Don't you think I deserve...

(CLEARS THROAT) a date?

A proper date, you and
me, tomorrow night.

What do you think?

Um... yeah!

Okay.

Oh, God.

Did you want to kick on to a bar?

Uh, unfortunately, even if I did,

etiquette requires me to reject
at least two invitations.

Right.

- Do you want to kick on to a bar?
- No.

(SNICKERS)

- Do you want to...
- Let's go.

♪ Bus was late ♪

♪ I don't care 'cause
it's something to say. ♪

Um, so, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

So, we've hired this, like,
industrial scissor lift,

and we park it behind the venue.

And as soon as the music starts,

Lily, you know, hit
the switch, up we go,

one Queens of the Stone
Age concert absolutely free.

Minus the fee.

Yeah, minus the $ hire
fee. Apart from that.

Music really is your thing, huh?

Well, don't you reckon you can
trace every major life moment

back to a song?

You know, like, um, Purple Rain when
Mum told me she was leaving Dad.

Or Smells Like Teen Spirit, first car.

Barbie Girl, first kiss. Classic.

Oh, yes!

Mine was the Richmond theme song.

Ah, we were getting along so well.

Yeah!

Oh, no.

I think you're being
recognised over there.

(LAUGHS)

No, Jack's the famous one.

I'm just basking in his reflected glory.

Yeah, aren't we all.

So, is it strange, your
ex getting married?

Yeah, but I prefer him
in my life than not, so...

How about you?

Oh, Lily, Lily and I never...

- Why?
- You looked strange.

I always look strange, it's my face.

It's a C-plus now, but
I'm going to improve it.

No, I am. I'm gonna bump it up to a B.

I'm thinking some
cheek implants, for sure.

Mum and Ivan, how weird was that?

I don't know, I kind of see it working.

Hmm.

The only time I want all those
people in the same room again...

is at my funeral, and I'll be a corpse.

The wedding might be a
tad awkward after that.

They're gonna hijack it.
You know they are.

What do you think about
a long engagement?

Mm-hm. Getting cold feet already, yeah?

- No.
- Yeah.

It's just...

(PHONE CHIRPS)

Now, I knew you were wonderful,

but not that wonderful.

Mr Gold Logie nominee!

Thank God, Dale.

Good news all around. Here she comes.

- Drum roll, please.
- (DRUMS TABLE)

Everyone, attention, attention!

We've got a Gold Logie
nominee on the floor!

(APPLAUSE)

Erica Jones, take a bow.

Erica Jones, Erica Jones.

Oh!

You see, you're loved and respected,

and you didn't even have to have a baby.

Did Nikkii get Best New Talent?

Bah-bah!

She's gone all crazy eyes,

and Jack also got nominated Gold.

Get out! Oh, my God!

So, I've been thinking, guys,
I want to hear your thoughts.

I'm thinking we should go with

a "Vote for Erica is a vote for change"

kind of strategy, you know?

Adult and sophisticated, dynamic...

SASHA: Goooooooold!

Yeah, baby!

Oh!

We just shat out a
gold bar here, people!

Two golds, I'm claiming Jack's as well.

How is he doing?

Back-to-back interviews.
Really overwhelming.

Any chance of getting
him back on the show?

- Uh, no.
- Okay, tell props and wardrobe

they need to pull something
special out of their arses.

I'll go make someone's day.

Ah!

How's he holding up? What's the fallout?

Eric? Oh, have you seen him?

No, I haven't.

Eric?

Eric, what are you doing?

I... I can see your shoes.

(ERIC SNIFFLES)

Are you crying?

It's the a*t*matic misting thing.

Air freshener wreaks
havoc on my sinuses.

Come on out of there. Come
on. It's just you and me.

It's not the nomination.

I don't care about the nomination.

Honestly, I... I've won enough.

That's true.

So, why...

Do you ever...

do you ever feel like you are trapped
in a life you didn't choose?

I...

Huh?

Um... uh, yes, sometimes I do.

I'm Eric Albrechtson, ba-da!

Host of The Breakfast Bar, ba-da!

- Yeah.
- But I want more!

And lately, I feel like...

I feel like I want to give more.

Yep, and you can give more in
minutes when we go to air.

Come on.

Are you handling me?

No. Yes, okay?

You and Sasha won't even
entertain it, will you?

My... my passion project,
it's a really good idea, Lily!

- You know it is!
- It sounds really interesting

and we can talk about it properly,

but if you stay in here and you
don't get into the studio,

people are going to
assume you're hiding out

because Erica's more popular than you.

You're having a bad day,
you don't really mean that.

Sorry.

I tell you, being in the spotlight,

not all it's cracked up to be.

Yes, Mum, the wedding
is still definitely on.

Since when did you believe
anything in the tabloids?

Well, no, I promise.

I promise.

Yeah, definitely not separating.

Okay. Bye, Mum.

I knew it wasn't the muffins!

We're having a baby!

I'm not pregnant, Nikkii.

Oh. Well, you should never
be photographed side-on.

Like, ever!

Sorry you didn't get a nomination.
You joined the race late.

I'm not jealous.

I'm super happy for Jack.

Super, super happy for Erica, yay!

See you in there.

(PHONE RINGS)

I'm going to snap her like a twig.

Who?

Gillian.

And then Jack.

No, he isn't...

It is one thing to cheat on me...

- No.
- with you,

but it is another thing
to cheat on you with her.

He isn't cheating!

He's... he's not.

(WHISPERS) I have to go.

Raw nerves?

Now you're eating for two?

No, I'm not, but I will take that

because you don't deserve it.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

MAN: VC to line.

Right, why is Eric
wearing a flak jacket?

Why is he wearing that?

He said you approved it.

- WOMAN: In , , , ...
- MAN: Ready camera one.

Good morning, and welcome
to The Breakfast Bar,

and what a day it is!

Erica, ask Eric why he's
wearing a flak jacket.

And what an outfit that is, Eric.

Tell me, are we under fire?

Khaki is trending hard this spring.

Aha!

I'm glad you asked, but no.

This isn't so much about trend.

It's more of a...

more of a promise of things to come.

MAN: Ready camera one.

- You see, soon I'll be hosting a world premiere.
- What's he doing?

Boxing us in.

Eric, stay on script.

We'll take you to places
that go way beyond gloss,

- way beyond the shine...
- Stay on script.

way beyond the, dare I say it,
the false idols of our society.

Ah, it's funny they've never
been false idols before.

(LAUGHS)

But seriously, we will take
you to a very different...

- Eric?
- and a very special place.

Eric, last warning.

And speaking of very special...

Cue the Gold Dancing Logie.

That's what wardrobe
pulled out of their arses?

We are celebrating
something wonderful here

on The Breakfast Bar this morning.

- (BUZZES LIPS) That's an Eric drum roll.
- No, Alice is not going on in that.

Unitards at breakfast?

What? She looks great.

No!

Uh, uh, scrap the Gold
Dancing Logie. Scrap it.

But as always, there are all sorts

of surprises here at The Breakfast Bar.

- Really?
- Yes.

We will go to places,
unbelievable places...

Eric, congratulate Erica

on her Gold Logie nomination.

Right now, I just want to say,

Erica, congratulations, my
darling, on your nomination.

Oh, thank you!

Congratulations.

- How about it, guys?
- (APPLAUSE)

ERICA: Thank you all for the
wonderful audience out there

who have been so supportive
of me and my choices.

So, Dad's asking for date suggestions.

He's thinking bowling or fishing.

That is profoundly disturbing.

Yeah. Uh, where are you?

Home. Why?

Oh, sh*t. I was gonna...

Help with the pitch.

Bad friend behaviour.
Very, very bad friend.

But Jack's going away again
and we need some us time.

Look, Lil, I'm struggling here.

All right, I need your help

pushing back against
some of Jeremy's ideas.

You know the show. You'll be great.

(JEREMY MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)

Yeah, yeah, it's just...

Mood boards, Lily. He's got mood boards.

(GILLIAN GIGGLES)

- I'll be there.
- Thank you.

So, this nomination's completely
decimated our schedule.

They want me in Perth tomorrow
morning for a am interview.

I hope he's not hogging your limelight.

Oh, he can have it.

So, the article?

Yeah, I look deranged. No
wonder he's leaving me for you.

Well, the media are loving it.

We're getting pressure
from our producers

to sell the idea that
Gillian and I are a couple,

which I said no to.

That's gallant.

Well, they're still
gonna need something,

so Gillian had an idea.

Well, I just thought if you
want to stop the rumours,

control the narrative,
right? People do that.

Announce your engagement

and offer your wedding
exclusive to a magazine.

It's not really my style
to pimp out our wedding.

No, I know, but I was
thinking in exchange

that you get to choose which images
you want to send out to the media.

And maybe we could donate
the cash to charity.

And a faux stunt wedding wouldn't
hurt your cookbook sales, either?

Oh, Lil, she's really not...

I know.

It's still a no, sorry.

In what world does a bride
have to workshop her wedding

with her boyfriend's ex?

SIMONE: Let me say this clearly.

The only other woman you
have to listen to is me.

Meet us at the bar.
We want to celebrate.

I'm sick of celebrating.

Welcome, future Mrs Jack Winters.

Ah, we're just working
on our pre-pitch banter.

Aiming for natural, but passionate.

Okay, hit me, go.

So, Pete, tell me about your
inspiration for the show?

Oh, no, that's okay.

We can just move onto
the logistical elements.

- I'm on top of that stuff.
- What? No.

No, the inspiration's
where the heart is.

You know, it's all about
that old Augie March song.

- What's it called?
- Uh...

One Crowded Hour.

Do you know the story?

No, but Pete's been playing
that song on repeat for years.

Well, that's because it all
ties back to this one girl

who's, like, Pete's unrequited love.

- (LAUGHS)
- And that's the whole reason

why he wrote the book
in the first place.

No, it's not the whole reason.

He wanted to make sense
of how this one song

could encapsulate everything.

This girl, this memory,
their One Crowded Hour.

I wonder where we should sit
when we're in the meeting.

Like, is it just gonna be your dad,
or are there gonna be more people?

We're not talking about that now, Pete.

We're talking about One Crowded Hour.

No, I just, um, that mood board...

Just gonna get another drink.

So, Alice, um, tell me
something I don't know.

Okay.

I... was named after
Alice in Wonderland.

Did not know that about you.

Yep.

I, um, I would like to think that I
was named after Simone de Beauvoir,

um... but I think it was just a great-aunt.

Or pet.

It's okay.

Oh, you're just... you're
all trying so hard,

and I know I don't fit in.

Oh, no, Alice...

No, it's cool.

Uh, it's not you.

You know, we're just this closed circle,

and it's laziness, really.

I mean, we need fresh blood.

Oh! That's not creepy at all.

Right! (LAUGHS)

Yeah.

Um, why don't we get smashed and bombed?

Yes.

Ah, okay.

Yes!

Oh, now Dad's asking for
conversation starters.

What does your mum like talking about?

Sex, religion, politics.

Anything taboo, basically.

Yeah, I'll just tell him to
stick with what he knows.

And what's that?

Footy, camping, tax law.

- To be a fly on that wall.
- Oh, yeah.

I used to like to go to the
Yarra Ranges with Pete.

There's a beautiful spot
for camping up there.

Do you, uh... do you go camping, Mims?

Oh, uh, yeah, sometimes.

I supposed you'd be more
of a glamping girl.

Yeah, um...

Can I... you're actually bleeding.

Oh, jeez, God.

See, this is what happens when you
led the league in hard ball gets

before there was such a thing,

blame the heavy tackling.

Oh!

Uh, maybe if you put your head back.

Yeah, thanks.

(LOUD MUSIC PLAYS)

What are they doing?

Uh, no, it's Gillian, actually.

Oh, really?

Is that evolving?

Uh, I don't know.

It's, uh, I messed it up, but
she seems forgiving, so...

She seems everywhere.

What?

Maybe you should do a song
about her on your show.

What's a good song for a chef?

Like, what, Sex and Candy?

Hot Potato?

Hey, what about that?

You reckon that's, like, witty but
not like I'm trying to be witty?

You guys want to play a game
of pool or something, or...

Nah, this.

- I like a dog, always.
- Oh, it's so cute!

Oh, he's... he's cute.

No, you can't wear a unicorn
mask in a profile picture.

Hey, um... do you think that
he's too, um, good for me?

What, the unicorn?

Vince.

Don't say that.

I mean, if anything,
you're too good for him.

Oh, mm, mm, mm.

I don't want to be good. Mm,
mm. I don't want to be nice.

I want to be the thing that...

Is it normal to feel dizzy?

Oh, I don't drink, as a habit.

It doesn't suit me.

Mum says it's because I
have a fragile metabolism.

Hmm.

Wait, well, then, why are you drinking?

To be chill, like you.

I...

I mean, that's, um...
unnerving, but adorable.

And legit, legit, legit,
you could have anyone!

You could have anyone in this room!

Ha!

You could have anyone
in the world, Simone.

You could have... you could have him.

Or him.

Oh.

It says he's active.

We've crossed paths times
in the last minutes.

So, you could hook up
with him right now?

But I wouldn't.

I mean, maybe if he wasn't related,

but that's not the point.

He's f*cking ridiculous.

And engaged.

Where is he?

He's next door, I think.

We have to confront him.

- Do we?
- Yes.

He's an adult.

I'm going home. Alice, you coming?

No, Alice is going to
stay with me, aren't you?

Yeah.

- See you at home.
- Vincent.

No! It's none of our
business, Lil. He's an idiot.

See you, Pete.

See you, mate.

You have to come with me.

Sure.

Well, the entire tax
system needs an overhaul.

This... this st century economy
and our -year-old tax system

is just about revenue-raising,

which is, as you can imagine...

Look, I'm sorry. I'm
monopolising the conversation.

Um, what about you?

Sorry?

You, have you got any interests?

- Obviously not steak.
- Oh!

Yeah, it was just... there was a lot.

Look, you're not fat.

Um, well, I...

- Mainly the kids, I think.
- Yeah.

And, um, when I was young,

I wanted to study psychology.

But, um... then I got married and...

then I got single.

Dating, eh? Never gets any easier.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't know.

- Yeah, me neither.
- Yeah.

Do you... do you think
we should get the bill?

Yeah, good idea.

Maybe it's not what you think.

It's exactly what I think.

- Dad, hi.
- Lil!

- Hi.
- Hey, hey.

Hey, Anthony, how are you?

Well, this is a
coincidence. What brings...

Hey, is Mum going... Mum's not
going out with Ivan, is she?

Maybe.

Why are you on a dating app, Dad?

Because you do have a
fiancée, you remember that?

Seriously, is that what that is?

I thought that was like an events thing.

Happn, as in "What's
happening around town?"

I'm going to quote directly
from your profile.

"I'm an electric car enthusiast
looking for a little spark."

I think I just threw up
in my mouth a little bit.

Okay, can you not look at me like that?

Nothing's happened.

It's... it's innocent, okay?

Couple of dri... not
even a couple of drinks.

I do some swiping, I
get a bit of attention.

Is there anything wrong with that, Lil?

I don't know.

Why don't you ask Yvonne?

We all heard you say how much
you apparently love her.

Why isn't that enough?

I'm surprised he has
any "happenings" at all.

Who are the women who want
a slice of that action?

Well...

Why can't he be more like your dad?

Oh, what, distant and
emotionally stunted?

What, you don't think Anthony
Woodward is emotionally stunted?

Please, he's like a cheat sheet for
my commitment-phobic psychology.

Oh, you and Jack got engaged
and bought a house together,

that's as committed as it gets.

Yes, but I can always sell a house.

Standing up in public and saying "I do"

is not something I can undo.

Well, actually, divorce is way
easier than splitting a home.

You got to go through
the family court...

Great.

Anyway.

Hey, you know you could have
invited me to the dinner.

I wanted to tell you in person.

Why?

Do you know you haven't
congratulated me yet?

- Yes, I have.
- No, you really haven't.

Well, congratulations.

You don't think I should marry Jack?

Let's get another drink.

(CLEARS THROAT)

That's not a fair question.

Always nice to have a walk after dinner.

Yep.

Oh!

Oh, you all right? That's
all right, I got you.

Whoops! Ah, sorry.

Ha, wow.

If I knew we were going intrepid,

I would have worn different shoes. Ha!

- It's all right. Let's, um... let's go back.
- Sorry.

Oh. Okay.

Well... thanks, Ivan.

It was a lovely idea.

It really was a very educational dinner.

I can honestly say I think I've
learned more about football

and tax than on any other date.

Are... are you picking up litter?

Yeah, I'm sorry. It's a habit.

I approve. I hate litterbugs.

You approve?

Oh, there you are, then.

VOICEMAIL: You have one new message.

JACK: Hey, I'm heading to the hotel.

Just wanted to hear your voice.

Look, I know what Gillian
suggested freaked you out.

But... look, the only important
thing about this wedding...

is that we're going to
be together forever.

(COUGHS)

♪ It's like drinking gin
with nothing else in ♪

♪ And that doesn't hold me together ♪

♪ But for one crowded hour ♪

♪ You were the only one in the room ♪

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

♪ And I sailed around all
those bumps in the night... ♪

- Sorry.
- Hey.

Can I get in with you?

Yeah, but I got an exam
tomorrow, so... get in.

♪ That one crowded hour would
lead to my wreck and ruin ♪

♪ I know you like your boys... ♪

Mum and Dad split up.

Oh. sh*t.

- That's, um...
- Yeah.

He's a liar and a cheater and...

I hate him.

♪ Believe to the tune ♪

♪ That as far as their
bleeding eyes see ♪

♪ Is a pleasure pen meant for them ♪

♪ Built and rent for them ♪

♪ Not for the likes of me ♪

♪ They're not for the
likes of you and me. ♪

(PHONE RINGS)

Hey, this is Pete. Leave a message.

♪ Crowded hour ♪

♪ You were the only one in the room ♪

♪ And I sailed around all
those bumps in the night ♪

♪ To your beacon in the gloom ♪

♪ I thought I had found
my golden September ♪

♪ In the middle of that purple June ♪

♪ But one crowded hour would
lead to my wreck and ruin. ♪

Hey, this is Pete. Leave a message.

(BEEP)

Look, if this is really about Jack,

people get cold feet.

Or... garlic sauce feet.

Oh, no, Dad!

No, you're not gonna
make me laugh. I'm angry.

I haven't done anything
wrong, not really.

Not this time.

Look, what I did to your mother...

I'm not proud of.

I thought you were amazing,

and you were lying.

Well, maybe I'm not like you, Lil.

I'm not brave.

I feel trapped, and I screw up.

Do you love her?

Yep. Very much.

I loved your mother too.

Doesn't mean that I don't panic...

about... what I'm missing.

(PHONE RINGS)

Oh, the other man in my life.

Hey, Lil, before you
go, could you help me?

Just... you wouldn't be able
to get rid of this app for us?

It's just like... Please?

It's technology.

What's up?

Um...

My resignation, effective immediately.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

Again, Eric?

Yes!

I don't want to invoke The
Boy Who Cried "Quit".

- Yeah, I know. I've...
- But this is...

Played this card a few
times before, yeah.

But... seriously, it's time
for me to spread my wings,

at least try.

Eric, screw the nominations. Come on.

The truth is....

I just don't love this anymore.

I love you, of course, but I don't...

I don't love this anymore.

It's really what you want?

Yep.

It's...

Come here.

You know, if I was a younger man, I'd...

I'm so kidding.

I'm not. No, I am.

(LAUGHS) I am, I'm kidding!

You're good, you know?

You're really... you're good-good.

Which is good for Vincent.

It's... it's really...

(LAUGHS)

Kissing's great.

I think everyone should
always be kissing.

(LAUGHS)

Hi!

Isn't Sim beautiful, Vincent?

You are!

How drunk are you guys?

Um, I would say just way past drunk!

Sim's an awesome kisser,
did you know that?

Oh!

Hey, babe, why don't you crash in
my bed? I'll be in in a minute.

Yes.

(GIGGLES)

- Night!
- Night!

Kissing my girlfriend is
crossing the line, Sim.

You wanted me to make an
effort, and we were bonding.

You were driving a wedge.

That's what you were doing.

(SCOFFS)

Hi!

Surprise.

Aren't you supposed to be in Perth?

What happened to your interviews?

I've decided I don't need to
answer any more questions

about my feelings for Gillian
at : in the morning.

Thank you, thank you.

Lil, you know it's all fiction.

Gillian and I.

I know.

♪ And always hoping
for it to come true ♪

♪ Waiting for the train,
I can see your face... ♪

So, how'd the date go?

Hmm, according to your ABC scale,

I'd give Mimi an EFD,
extremely f*cking difficult.

Says the guy who collects
rubbish for a hobby?

Yeah, don't miss that bit.

(PHONE RINGS)

Oh, don't tell Lily I was
talking about her mum.

(RINGS)

Oh, it's not Lily, actually.

Hey, you.

Yeah. Yeah, me too. It was fun.

♪ Yeah, me and you. ♪

Hey!

I always thought that we
would end up together.

It's only marriage.

I'll always love you most.

Also, men actually die
years earlier than women,

so we can be together then.

(LAUGHS)

Hey, about the wedding, we're
going to do it your way.

I was gonna say I changed my
mind about the long engagement.

Really?

Yeah.

Can you imagine years and years of
talking about it in every interview,

looking at fake stories
in every magazine?

That would be a bag of dicks.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Let's rush into it.

♪ When you hold me I can see ♪

♪ You're the harmony to
my heartbeat, baby. ♪

It's the biggest day of Lily's life...

her wedding day!

- But it's not gonna quite go to plan.
- What?! What?!

On the new night, : Wednesday,
will Lily get her happily ever after?

I guess I just wanna know whether
you're in love with him.

Are you in love with Pete?