02x10 - Episode 10

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Wrong Girl". Aired: September 28, 2016 to October 2017.
"The Wrong Girl" follows a 29-year-old morning television show producer, and what happens when life, love and friendships collide. Based on the book of the same name
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02x10 - Episode 10

Post by bunniefuu »

I'm breaking up with Alice.
You're all I think about.

MIMI: I was just very happy
that Vincent was getting back

to some normality with... with Alice.

We've got a Gold Logie
nominee on the floor.

- Jack also got nominated Gold.
- Get out!

He's been in love with Lily forever.

Pete told you that.

Are you in love with Pete?

- No.
- You are.

Lily, he's left!

Hi, you've called Jack.
Please leave a message,

and I'll get back to you.

I know her, better than
she thinks I know her.

If you want me to call and explain

that we're not anything anymore...

I want it on the record that I
disagree with that assessment.

♪ Here she comes now,
saying Mony Mony. ♪

So thrilled to be joining you
live from the red carpet

at Aussie television's night of nights.

The atmosphere here is
positively electric.

Hey, hey!

Nikkii from The Breakfast Bar.

- How fantastic do you look?
- I know!

Although I do sometimes
wonder how dresses like this

hold it all together.

It's a wing and a prayer.

Well, you have a great
night. Lovely to see you.

Thank you, and you too.

Oh, you're on my dress.


Excuse me!


- Hey.
- Hey.

- How are you?
- Yeah, um, good.

Good, just watched the
final mix of the pilot.

Oh, good. So that's all happening, yeah?

Well, Jeremy said the light is amber

with green little twinkly bits in it.

Yeah, about the launch, what I said,

when I started to drunkenly babble,

I'm going to invoke the
traditional excuses

of intoxication and heartbreak.

That's cool. I just figured that

your emotionally unstable declaration

cancelled out my emotionally
unstable declarations.

- So we're even?
- Yeah, let's go with that.

We don't need to talk about it anymore?

No, no, not unless you want to.

- No.
- Good.



Actually, I'm going in there with you.

Oh, right, sorry. Go for it.

You want to produce the
Logies' wrap-up show?

Are you on crack? It's the
worst gig in television.

I see it as a chance to flex
a different set of muscles.

In an effort to marry something,

you're marrying your work.


You all right?

You know what? I was this close
to buying a treadmill desk

because sitting is the new sugar,

which was the new gluten.

And then I thought, why not lie down?

Where's the science this is k*lling me?

You're amazing.

You're my inspiration.

You know that?

All right, but I've got no money
for something that won't rate,

not with upstairs thr*at
cuts across the board.

It'll rate.

And your team's on-board for
this masochistic exercise?


For the love of God, no.

Guys, we are still going to the Logies.

To toil under the mountain
like Tolkien's dwarves.

But, Lily, I've already
chosen a k*ller frock.

And you can still wear your
frock, and the next morning,

you can interview other frock
wearers about their frocks.

Frock me!

Liam, you're on interviews.

I don't want the usual "I'm just
happy to be nominated" crap.

I want deepest fears.

Like Faustian pacts and
near-death experiences

and poverty on the road to success?


So many spilled guts,

the red carpet will need steam cleaning.

Gross, but yes. Where's Alice?

Mental health day.

Really? Did she say anything?

No. I've been trying to confirm
interviews with the nominees,

but I'm having a little trouble
pinning down... well, Jack.

Ah, stuff him. He's with a
different network now, anyway.

No, no. If he wins the Gold,

it's basically for his work
here at The Breakfast Bar.

We have to get the interview.

Want me to keep trying?

I'll handle it. I'll handle it.


Sweepstakes in ten?

Well, I think it's great that
you're meeting up with Jack.

You know, hashing things out.

No, there's nothing to hash
out. It's all been hashed.

But you need to formalise
a separation, you know?

Brexit style, like me and Vincent.

But you're not with Vincent.

Well, no, but I will be after
he breaks up with Alice.

Except I won't be

because I'm going to
ditch him pre-emptively.

What? Hang on.

So Vincent's definitely
breaking up with Alice?

No. Because I'm going to pre-emptively

put a stop to that too.

At the risk of asking a stupid question,

do you not want to be with Vincent?

Well, yes. I mean, no.


Told her. Need a drink.

You didn't?

He already did?


I guess you've got
yourself a relationship.


- ERICA: Lily!
- I gotta go.

What's going on?

They've been running sweepstakes.

It's just a little bit of harmless fun.

Show her, Dale.

Get rid of it.

I know that I'm a rank outsider in this,

but would it k*ll you all just
to show a little bit of support?

Hmm? It's hard enough to get out there,

smile in front of those
cameras every morning,

pretending that I've got a
hope of winning the Gold.

Erica, we support you %.

to .

- Ouch.
- Yep, and that's being generous.

You should have seen the betting sites.

Keep her offline.

I can't afford a meltdown,

not pre-awards, not
mid-awards, not at all!

How would you like me to achieve that?

I don't know, just keep
her happy and ignorant.

- I have to go.
- You look nice.

Is that for the ex?

No, it's for myself.

We can do a sh**t. We can
get Lee to, ah, setup down there.

Maybe change your clothes.
What do you think?

Yeah. Whatever you need.

And you'll have, we hope, the cover,

so it will be a three page spread.

Hi. Hi.

Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.

I'm Lily. Hi.

Sorry, Charlotte. Do you mind if
we take a break? Just two minutes?

No worries.

She seems like a fan.

Yeah. We'll see when the
interview comes out.

It's good of you to meet me.

No problem.

Well, not good. It's basic
human decency to agree

to finally talk to the person
you were going to spend

the rest of your life with.

- Lil...
- What?

You're asking me the favour.


Um... (CLEARS THROAT) so obviously
we're trying to lock down

interviews with all the
Gold Logie nominees

before the ceremony.

I thought maybe we could do
yours at the pre-party drinks.

Fine, sounds great.




That's it? You want me to sign anything?

That's it.

Okay, wait.

How are you?


Never better.

Are you staying at the house?


- Okay. Yep.
- Okay. See you tomorrow.

Okay. So I'd just like everyone
to pause and make sure

we're entering the conversation
space respectfully this time.

- Absolutely. Absolutely.

I'll get it.

Because that's what I've been thinking.

We're actually on the same side, right?

We both want what's best for Manisha.

Nothing's more important.

And so we agree she needs
both parents around.

In an ideal world, yes. But this is...

A once in a lifetime opportunity.

- For the family.
- So you've said.

- Hi, hey, hi. Hi, everyone.
- Lily? Hi.

Sorry, I thought, um... I
thought we could all...

that all of us celebrate
Pete's new show.

But obviously I am
interrupting. So, it's fine.

- I'll go.
- No, Lily, stay, please.

You can give us a fresh perspective.

Do you think I'm a bad parent?

- Oh?
- What?

- I mean...
- Are you kidding?

No! I want you to be my dad.

Not really, no.

- But you're a wonderful dad.
- You are.

And no one's questioning
your parenting skills, Pete.

But you know that I've got a
lot more support in London.

Most of my family are there,

and that's got to be
part of the equation.

Yeah, so what is it?

Three cousins equals
one biological father?

And what about a granddad?
Is that like two aunties?

We're more than happy for you
to stay with us in London.

Because immigrating to Britain
is such an easy thing to do.

Look, I already moved here.

How many hoops do you
want me to jump through

just to stay part of my daughter's life?

- Pete.
- What?

Everyone knows you're trying to
stay part of Manisha's life.

Everyone knows you're her dad.

- Do they?
- Yeah.

So why don't you start
again, bearing that in mind?

Okay, thanks, Lily.

I mean, that's what Mitchell
and I are trying to say.


I don't know. I know
this might sound basic.

Have you tried weighing up,
like, a list of pros and cons,

here versus London?

- That's a good idea.
- Great idea.

Do we need a white board
for that? Draw some diagrams?

I'm just trying to take
the emotion out of it.

Emotion out of my daughter
leaving? That helps how?

I know that when Jack and I split...

Good, we're talking
about Jack, and not...

No, she's just trying to help.

I'm trying to keep my
daughter from leaving.

- Pete!
- I need air or something.

Ready, camera one.

Well, thanks for filling us in on
the progress of your documentary.

Pleasure, guys, pleasure.

Hey, who knew the plight
of the world's poor

could be so interesting?

Plus, it's taken you to some
amazing travel destinations.

That tan!

What? The tan? (LAUGHS)

Slip, slop, slap! (LAUGHS)

No, you're right, Nikkii,
amazing destinations.

And I know it looks really cold
here, and believe me it is,

but I've got to tell you,

the women of Kyrgyzstan
have been unbelievably warm.

They've opened their furs to him.

Oh! (LAUGHS) I love this guy.

Eric, it appears that we're
losing the satellite, mate,

so we'll have to wrap that up.

How'd it go with Jack?

- We got the interview.
- Guys, you still there?

Before I go, I just
wanted to say, Erica,

good luck in your quest
for Gold tonight.

Go, Erica, go!

Oh, thank you, Eric. I'm gonna need it.

See you, guys!

And make sure you tune
in same time tomorrow

as we go over the
winners and the losers.

I am, of course, talking
about the fashion.

And Liam, I believe you're going to
be prowling the red carpet tonight.

Yes, that's it. Armed with a
microphone and very, very dangerous.

Ooh, like a tiger! Celebs, look out!

Oh, well, until tomorrow,
goodbye from The Breakfast Bar.

And we're out.

Okay. T-minus six hours until
the red carpet kicks off.

I want everyone ready
to go within the hour.

- Let's have a great Logies...
- Yes!


I will see you on the red carpet.

And make sure you vox pop me.

I've been dieting hard for tonight,

and I want these cheekbones
to be on record. Okay?

Thank you.

Oh, my, look.

It's kilometres long, Ivan.

With a tent and a billy on our backs,

we'll be on our last legs.

Billy? Not going droving, we'll
be staying in guest houses.

- Oh, will we?
- Oh, yeah.

There'll be wine and cheese and dancing.

What's not to love?
This sort of dancing.

Careful, you're going to
get too hyperglycaemic.

Have you taken your diabetes medication?

(SIGHS) Oh, who remembers?


- Oh, it's little Nishi!
- Oh, hello!

- Hello. Hello, gorgeous girl.
- Sweetie.

Yep, and I'm your son, Pete. No?

(LAUGHS) Hello, gorgeous.

I know. You've come to see
us. You've come to see us.


So how was it tonight with Meredith?

Yeah, no. Not good.

About DEFCON , could go nuclear.

I think I might need legal advice.

No, mate, no. Whatever you do,
don't involve those bloodsuckers.

They're nothing but vultures.

Well, he might have to, Ivan.

Look, don't you remember what
happened to your mum and me?

They turned us against each other.

And after that, I barely
saw you for years.

So your extremely
occasional parenting style,

that was the lawyer's fault, was it?

Just 'cause I was wrong then
doesn't mean I'm wrong now.

Don't be a goose. Go
to London with them.

Yeah, that's what Mitchell said.

Oh, well, he's not an idiot.
You should see his house.

Dad, I just can't go across the world.

I've got things going on here.

You know, the show's about to launch.

- What show?
- My show.

You know, the screener I gave you.

Yeah, yeah, I'm about to get to that.

Okay, good. Well, I'm going
to leave you guys to it.

But thank you for looking
after her. See you, sweetie.

- It's our pleasure.
- Thank you.

I hope it goes well tonight.

Uh, highly unlikely, but thank you.


- Did I set what?
- Oh, Ivan.

Oh, silly, silly Grandpa.

It's itchy.

It's cutting off my circulation.

And I love it.

I know break-ups suck
the big one, do I know.

But we're covering the preshow
drinks, then the show,

then the after-party.

Basically, tonight's a freight train,

and I need your help
keeping it on its tracks.

You don't have to worry about me, Lil.

Okay, yes, I see his face
every time I look at yours,

but if you can bury emotions
at work... so can I.

I wouldn't... say I buried them.

I'm here until the last stop.



This is unbelievable. One site
had me as d*ad last yesterday.

These are the only guys
worth listening to.

I think they're Russian hackers.

Thank you.

What was that all about?

Five minutes, everyone. Final checks.

I had one of the IT
girls do up a website.

According to Logies Leaks,
Erica's favourite for the gold.

You fed her fake news?

That's genius.

How do I look?

I guess it'll have to do.

You ready to go be wildly controversial,

yet completely inoffensive?

I will occupy the tiny
sliver of that Venn diagram.

Okay. Breakfast Bar team,
we are going to the Logies.


- You're going to do us proud.
- Yes!


Ladies. Alice.

Seriously, if you ask
Jack about his love life,

I will take you out.

You don't have to be there.

Okay, somebody else could wrangle him.

I can handle Jack Winters.

Wow. Sorry, I'm just going
to have to keep saying that.

I'm glad you like it because my kidneys

are currently scrunched
up underneath my lungs.

What do you need oxygen for?

Hey, can we agree to
deal with life tomorrow,

and tonight let's have as
much fun as this dress allows.

We could just get rid of the dress.

No, that's fine, except
you've actually got a ticket.

I'm just a dickhead
loitering in the bar.

Apparently, that's where the fun begins.

Not all the fun.

Excuse me. Yep, hi...

Yep. No, you go. Go.
Just have some fun.


Can you hide from Jeremy?
He wants me to schmooze.

Oh, but you're so good
at it, all the small talk.

- Remembering people's names.
- That handshake of yours.

I do have a powerful shake.

It's not as good as
Mark Latham's, but...

Last night was fairly awful.

Sorry, we shouldn't have roped you in.

Oh, no, you didn't rope me in.

I roped myself in. I self-roped.

So thrilled to be joining you
here live on the red carpet

at Aussie television's night of...

Hey! Hey!

Hey, Liam. Liam!

How about a plug for
Life is Not a Love Song?

Ah, no, we're good, thanks.

Hey, come on! We're the hot
new show on the network.


Sure. Yep.


What do you say to critics who
claim that you stole the idea

from beloved Estonian variety
show, Elu On Muusika?

I'm sorry?

Well, apparently, your
pilot was leaked online,

and the Twitterverse has
noticed some similarities.

What's he talking about? I don't
know what he's talking about.

You have a great night.
Lovely to see you.

Liam, you're always the prankster.

Oh, you're on my dress.

- Sorry.

- Oh!

- Hey! Hey!
- Excuse me!


Get off!

I'm a producer. I'm not a crazy fan!

I'm a producer.

You're being such a guy about this.

Sitting there enjoying your flat white.

Hot piece of ass on your
arm. Not a care in the world.

Meanwhile, Alice is somewhere
probably just sobbing

on the bathroom floor.

I just don't think she is.
She took it pretty well.

It was a very surgical break-up.

Surgical, as in cold?

As in clean.

What about if you left
something inside her?

What, like a baby?

No! Like, I don't know, memories of you.

- Feelings, a scar.
- Sim, I'm sure she'll rally.

What should I have done?
What was I supposed to do?

Sim, has something put you off this?

It's a bit burnt.

Not the coffee, Sim, us.


- Can that wait, please?
- Oh!

It's an SOS from Lily.

Fashion crisis. I should go.

Sims, wait, sit back down, please.

I should take this. SOS.

Sim, what scared you?

'Cause this isn't just about Alice.


I just want you... to know that
if this is the right decision,

in terms of your future s*ab.

My... s*ab?

Because that is important.

Have you been talking to my mother?


I mean, yeah. Of course, I love her.

I talk to her all the time.


If you can get past the
smocks and the Baltic polka,

there is a soupçon of similarity.

And you definitely haven't
seen this before?

Have I plagiarised our show?

Is that seriously what you're asking me?

No! PB. Of course, you haven't.

- I'll get you another.
- Yeah, thanks.

Very hot contender for the
Gold Logie tonight, Jack.

Why does everyone love
you so much, mate?

Mate, thanks for putting me the spot.

No, I'm being serious. I don't
know if I see the appeal.

Okay. All I can say is I'm
very passionate about food,

and it's wonderful that so many
people share that passion.

Right. Speaking of passion,

you and your lovely co-host
used to be an item.

Jill's one of my oldest friends.

It's an absolute privilege
working alongside her every day.

She's the reason I'm here.

- Well, good luck.
- Thanks, Liam.

That was great, thanks.

I'd go more with banal
and superficial, but...

So I can go?

Is this how it's going
to be from now on?

I just gave you what you wanted, Lil.

Okay. Now you can go back
to punishing me. Thanks.

Whatever, fine. I'm
gonna go find Nikkii.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm punishing you?

Uh... if anyone has a right
to be angry here, it's me.

- You left.
- You really want to do this now?

No, I don't.

I did what you did not
have the guts to do.

Oh, right. Because smoke-b*mb
a wedding takes so much courage.

You are not the only injured party here.

Oh, that's right, I forgot.

Shit only ever happens to Lily Woodward.

The rest of us have to
roll with it, don't we?

Collateral damage in your
life. Is that how it works?

Save it for the after-party, mate. Yeah?

At least I wasn't hedging my bets.

You think I'm emotionally closed off?

You had one foot out the door the
whole time, isn't that right, Pete?

- Ah...
- Leave him alone.

Yeah. And there he is, waiting
in the wings, as usual.

- Jack.
- Just settle down, mate.

- I am not your mate.
- Okay.

Let's talk about this later.

No, no, I think we are done.

Wouldn't you say?

Mate, get out of here. Take a walk.

If seeing me as the bad guy
makes you feel better, Lil,

go for it.

- You got anything else to say?
- Yeah, piss off.

MC: And the Graham Kennedy Award

for Most Outstanding Newcomer goes to...

And make sure Dad puts an
extra layer on her tonight.

I think there's a sleep
sack in the dryer.

MIMI: Yes, yes, I will.

And, um... Oh, by the way,

we... we saw your show... pilot.

I loved it.

And so did your Dad.

He thought the stories were
really interesting and uplifting.

Dad said that?

I couldn't stand the bloody
show. It was a load of fluff!


I better go, but can you give
Manisha a goodnight kiss for me?

- Bye.
- Thanks. Bye.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Have you seen Jack?
- Uh, no.

Maybe he's inside already.


Dad reckons I should pack it
all in and move to London.

What do you think?

Well, apart from that being
a shitty thing to ask me

like I have no vested interest...

You're right, sorry. Sorry.

...I think you should stay.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Like you said last night,

Meredith could move around forever.

You could stay here, get your life back.

You're not tied to her.

But I'll always be tied to Manisha.

Well, I didn't actually...

And letting her go doesn't
feel like freedom.

It feels like the exact opposite.

So what are we talking? Is
it like a nipple slip or...?

Full bazoonga blowout.

Nikkii's fired the entire
wardrobe department.

- Can she do that?
- No, she can't.

But she's refusing to try
any more of their clothes.

Which means you're a star.
You're a supernova.

- I know.
- Is that my wedding dress?

Well, to be fair, I had three minutes

to find Logies worthy couture, so.

You okay?

Pete or Jack?

That question! I'm sick of
thinking about either of them.

Nikkii's in the green room.

Just follow the sounds of the
sobbing, and I'll be right in.

I'll take you.

I thought you were back with Erica.

No, Nikkii said she needed me.

Those are beautiful. You're
like crazy talented, Sim.

Oh, I'm....



In here.

Don't click at me!

You left.

- You really want to do this here?
- No, I don't.

I just did what you didn't
have the guts to do.

Right, because smoke-b*mb a
wedding takes so much courage.

Anything else to add, Jack?

Yeah, piss off!

This is a scoop. Golden boy
falls of wagon, goes off rails.

It is news.


We play that, we look like
we goaded Jack into it.

We goaded?

Fine, I goaded.

Look, if he wasn't your ex-groom
or man candy or whatever,

you would be playing it on repeat.

No. No, I really wouldn't.
No, forget it.

I'm not singling him out
for public humiliation.

- I won't do it.
- Who said single him out?

We should own it, all of it.

Jack behaving badly, Nikkii's norkage.

crash tackling producers.

- Plagiarised reality TV pilots.
- No. No one cares about that.

No. People want red meat.
They want scandal, outrage.

People also want to return
to public hangings.

- Do we give that to them?
- I don't know.

It's not terrible.

No, no. Jeremy's idea,
not the public hangings.

We could turn the wrap-up show

as a kind of behind the
facade spectacular.

Yes! Yes, Liam! Bingo!

No. We're going to get Jack
to redo his interview.

- That's cutting it fine.



Hey. Um... have you seen Jack?

No, I'm back at the office.
Why? What's happened?

Um... look, if he bails, it's...
it's not a good look.

Okay. I'll make some calls. Stand by.

We need to come up with a
name for the interview couch.

- "Chaise Longue of Shame".
- Or "Sofa of Truth".

Something with the red carpet...

Jeremy. Yeah, your idea
doesn't entirely suck,

but you are a lousy editor.

You need to call Dale. He'll
help you whip it into shape.

- Where are you going?
- To find Jack.

- Oh.
- Everything all right?

Oh, just Vincent. I
need to go talk to him.

And you need to call your son

and tell him you liked his show.

But I didn't.

Why would I go to the Camino with the
most stubborn man on the planet?

Call Pete!

Or no sex for you tonight.

I didn't know that was on the cards.

And in case you hadn't noticed,
Pete's a very good dad.

You could learn something from him.

Hey, this is Pete. Leave a message.

Ah, g'day, mate, it's me. It's your dad.

I think Mims might have mentioned it.


Um, I saw the show.

Not bad.

Um, you know, with a bit of work,
you might really have something.


Not that you should take advice from me.

You were always much smarter than I was.

And whatever you decide
to do in the future,

you know I'll support it.

I love you.

Uh, so call me back if you wanna.


It's me.

Shit! Jack!

ANTHONY: I just needed
somewhere to crash.

Yvonne's pulled down the tent, darl.

She's torn up the guy ropes of my heart.

All gone, it's all over,
darl, it's finished.

Anyway, I'll go, darl. I'll get that...

- No, it's fine. Hey, it's fine. Come rest.
- I'll get an Uber.

I'll have a drink.

Of water.

Have you seen Jack?

If he comes back here,

can you please get him
to call me straightaway?

All right, darl. I'll
call you straightaway.


What happened, Lil? Lil? What happened?

MC: Ladies and gentlemen, there will be

a three minute break before we...

Look at Logie Leaks, four to one.
That is striking distance.

Now, what do you think of my speech?

Uh, just this bit. "To all
the execs, male and female,

"who thought a pregnant lesbian over

"wouldn't hold an audience
Australian television,

"sit on this."

In brackets, hold up Logie.


Oh, come on. They'll all
be three sheets by then.

I want it to cut through.

What is it? What is it? Nerves?

The foetus... I need
to puke. I need to pee.

- Bathroom?
- Yep, there.

I'll be... I'll just be here.

Okay. This may be the PTSD talking,

but I think I look incredible.

You're good at this.


MC: The Logie for Best News and
Current Affairs, The Project.

Hey. Hey, I was thinking,

I brought some extra options for Nikkii,

so maybe I could put you
in one for the after-party.

Nah, I think I'm just going to go home.

No, no, no, no. You should stay.

Hey, who do you think that
it was, the other woman?

I mean, she's probably the
opposite of me, right?

So like tall, super skinny, stylish.

Hey, when you meet her,
I wanna see pictures.

Alice, my G-string's stuck in my zip.

Hey. Hey, want to see
something hilarious?

- Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do.
- Check this out.

This is a show I've meant
to have ripped off.

Oh, my god! Elu On Muusika!

- Oh, how I've missed you.
- What?

- Yeah, Elu On Muusika.
- Have you seen this?

Remember that terrible rave that
we went to at Kryal Castle?

And Lily was outside
having a D & M with a guy

who was crying about being adopted.

And then they were projecting
this in the chill-out room.

And we were there for hours.

Yeah, la-la-la-la-la.

♪ Elu on muusika... ♪


Jeremy wants an answer stat
on the new Jack interview.

There isn't going to be an interview.

I'm still looking for Jack.

You need to stall Jeremy
until I get back.

That's easier said than done.

I would have thought you'd appreciate
some alone time with your boy crush.

I... refuse to respond to that.

Unless Jack's next interview
is naked and off his chops,

nothing's going to b*at
what we already got.

Will you be straight with me for once?

Not without shock treatment.

The real reason you want to use the
tape is not because it's juicy.

It's because you want
to stick it to Lily.

And the reason I know this
is because you've come up

with ten better segments since she left.

When you're not trying desperately

to be the smartest producer in the room,

you're actually reasonably smart.

Okay. I'll scrap it.

- So?
- So I'm a thief!

- I stole the entire idea.
- No, you didn't.

- So it's similar...
- No, it's not similar.

It's identical, but in funny voices.

I'm a plagiarist. I'm a hack.

Did I steal the idea of a cooking show?

Did JK Rowling steal
the idea of wizards?

You know, what the actual f*ck
I've been doing this entire time?

I'm looking around. I don't
even want to work in TV.

Who are these people?

Why are all the men in
my life such flakes?

I mean, Jack's about to bail on
the biggest night of his career,

and you're about to blow what
presumably is the best opportunity,

yes, that you've ever had.

I'm not bailing. I'm just moving
on from a show that I stole

because it's the right thing to do.


Moving to London, that's
the right thing to do.

Staying here and creating something,
that's the right thing to do.

This... this is just flaking.

I've never seen you annoyed before.

Yeah? Well, I can't breathe, so my
usual diplomacy skills are just...

I kind of like it.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I mean, not the not breathing
thing. I'm not into that. But...


So you know the part that I...

said before, I mean, I did mean it.

About you being free without Manisha.

I mean, the horrible,
super-selfish part of me...

It's okay. None of this stuff's easy.

I'd help. I just want you to know that.

If, you know, it would make
things easier with the lawyer,

if that's what you really want to do.

I couldn't. Oh, thank you, but I...

I don't need you to do that.


But I would.

I would help.


Hey, I thought I... might find you here.

- Really?
- Yep. No, well...

I thought that about the last
six places that I looked.

I mean, did you know I realised
we never had a go-to place?

Do you think that's...

is that one of the things
that was going wrong with us?


Everyone's freaking out about you.

What are you doing here?

Well, I'm thinking whether
I drink that or head back.

Or both.

I don't know.

Your makeup's running.


Also FYI, there's a drunk,
heartbroken middle-aged man,

my dad, asleep at your house.

Our house.

Do you want to know a secret?

- When we blew up before...
- Not our finest moment.

No. But I kind of liked it.

Not... I mean, I wasn't there thinking,

"Oh, wow, this is so fun."

But... it felt honest.

Maybe we should have
tried that a bit more.

That's you in a nutshell, you know,

mistaking conflict for honesty.

Says you, the perfectionist.

You needed someone perfect.

You're terminally fickle. You
needed at least three husbands.


Yeah, maybe.

- At least the sex was good.
- The sex was so good.

- We could have gone pro.
- Yeah.

The first time we kissed...

I thought to myself...

"This is it.

"I want to kiss this man
the rest of my life."

Just so we're clear, that kiss was...

- Just a goodbye kiss.
- Just, yeah, a full stoppy...

"Yours sincerely" kiss.

I mean, don't get me wrong.
It was a really nice kiss.

- It was like full-bodied.
- Yeah.

- With feeling.
- Something to remember.


I am really sorry.

I realise I haven't
said that to you yet.

I'm truly sorry for
everything that happened.

Me too.

Shit, you have to go.
We have to get back.

Yes? No, not just to
clear my conscience,

because you deserve it,
all of your success.

Okay, if you insist, Woodward.
You did create me.

Yes. I did.

- So?
- Oh-ho!

Right? I mean, screw the after-party.

In this dress, I should
be booty calling Vincent.

Hmm. Mmm...

Yes, in theory.

But when I left, he was
looking pretty tired,

so he's probably in bed.

That is kind of the point
of a booty call, though.


It's like... why should I
just accept the situation?

He can't just destroy
something for no reason.

I at least deserve a frickin' reason.

I'm the reason.

Yeah. Um, I'm the reason
that he broke up with you.

It's me. It's all me.
I'm the other woman.


- Logie Leaks, it isn't a thing.
- What?

Just tell me, what are my
real chances of winning?

I love Simone, you know I do.

But I do... I worry about you,

and... being with somebody so flighty.

Flighty? You want to talk about flighty?

Do I have to bring up
the Bernard incident?

What? No!

Good. 'Cause I'm unbelievably
scarred from that.

Oh, please. It was an accident.

which I don't regret

because it helped re-centre
me in my sexual power.

Oh, God, Mum. No.

But now I am with Ivan.

Yes, and I'm happy for you.

So how about this? What
about a little quid pro quo?

I like...

Simone's it.

If I have my way, then
she's my forever, Mum.


- Yeah.
- Yeah.

That's... that's very romantic, darling.


And Ivan wants me to
go overseas with him.

And I'd like to go, but...


...it is very risky,
this falling for people.

You should go, Mum.

Yeah, I think I might.

- And make things right with Sim.
- Yes.

Or I'm not talking to you.


Well, come on, then, let me see it.


It's a commitment ring.
Carol got it for me.

Kind of unnecessary, given the
parasite growing inside me.

Commitment enough, eh?

It's nice, though.

I've missed that angry wit.

You know what? I shouldn't
be talking to you, really.

Because they've asked me to present
the Gold Logie over Skype.

Yes, so I've heard.

In fact, I don't think you can see it,

but Anara's setting
it all up for me now.

Eric, you know I'm not going to win.

I know.

Technically, I wasn't supposed to
look in the envelope, I get that.

But I was trying to avoid

a Moonlight/La La Land kind
of situation, you know?


I just really wanted it, you know?

I mean, what if this is it, you know?

First step into obscurity.

You listen to me. This is
not a rejection of you.

All right? It's not. It's just...

It's just someone else's
moment, that's all.

I don't think I can pretend to be
happy for someone else's moment.

Yes, you can. And you will.
Do you know why?

Because you're Australia's favourite
lefty lesbian expectant mother.


Now, you get in there,
you smile like a maniac.


come out fighting!


Good luck.

ANNOUNCER: Tonight's entry into
the Logies' Hall of Fame...

Excuse me. Have they
announced the Gold yet?

No? Quick, get in there. Get in there.


I did love you. That's why
I wanted to marry you.

And you loved someone else more

and there was nothing
I could do about it.



Crazy, crazy, stupid man.

I'm not letting you out
of my sight. Get in there.

I'll see you at the after-party.


ANNOUNCER: We need television.

I invite you now...

Hey, all good? You made up with Jack?

Something like that. Yeah.

All right. Well, maybe I'll
see you at the after-party.


Pete, wait.

Are we good?

Uh, you keep asking
that. It's like we're...

- Yeah.
- in a loop or...

Yeah, like a hamster wheel.

- Are we?
- I don't know.

- Do you think we are?
- I don't know. I...

I am sorry. I shouldn't
have taken Meredith's side.

I just think we expect too
much from each other.

You know, it's like
good when we were ,

but now it takes up a lot of space.

I guess the half-arsed
declarations probably don't help.

No. No. They kind of
make things messier.

Can we still be friends, at least?
In a clean, like, uncluttered space?

You don't need to catastrophise.

- I'm not catastrophising.
- Of course we can be friends.

- I just think that...
- You just said things are messy.

No, I know, but I just think less.

Less could be healthy.

Yeah, that's... no, that's a good idea.

Was it Gillian's?

Sorry, bad joke.

That was a generic statement,
not a loaded question.

- All good?
- Good. Great.

- See you there?
- All good.

- Maybe. Bye.
- All right, bye.

Oh! Such a gorgeous gown. I'm
still awestruck by that one.

- Alice, package ready to roll.


Well, although not everyone
got lucky last night,

some very special people did,

particularly one of our
own Breakfast Bar alumni.

And friends, speaking from experience,

with great awards comes
great responsibility.

And this year, that
responsibility falls upon...




Jack Winters.


Wow. Um...

Moments like these are built
by many, many amazing people,

and I would like to thank
everyone at The Breakfast Bar

for giving me my start.

In particular, producer Lily Woodward...

who saw something in me that I didn't,

and I wouldn't be here without her...

and I'm a better man for knowing her.

- Thank you!

That's what I call event television.

Laughter, tears, public shaming,
what more could you want?

I want to come back.

- Oh, hey, it's only a three-seater.

I'm sure our viewers would like

to see you behind the grill, Mr Johnson.

- Well, all in all...

Jeremy, can you take over?

We hope you enjoyed
our special coverage.

We'll catch you next Saturday.

Mum. Mum. Sorry. Sorry.

I'm so sorry, we had the Logies
and it's been absolutely mental.

- Did you see...
- Lil.

Lil, I've been trying to reach you.

We're at the hospital.

Why? What... what's happened?

- (SOBS)
- Is it Dad?

It's... it's Ivan.

I found him on the floor last night.

He... he was unconscious.


Well, is he gonna be okay? Where's Pete?

What did they say?

He's gone.


They think he took too many
of his diabetes pills.

Said he probably forgot he
had already taken them,

and he just...

he went unconscious and...



We're just waiting for some forms.


I'll harass the nurse again.




Pete, wait.

Are you sure you want to
be in here right now?

Come back to Mum's. Or do you
want to stay at Gillian's?

Yeah, why don't you
stay at mine tonight?

Oh, no, I'm okay. I, um...

There are people to call.

I should make a list, I
don't wanna forget anyone.

Okay, I'll get some paper.

They gave us booklets, didn't
they, for the funeral homes?


Pete, you know you don't
have to do everything...

- I'm okay.
- at all right now.

- I'm all right.
- You can just...

- You're not alone.
- Lil, I can't...

I don't think I can...

deal with you, on top of, um...

I mean, don't take it
the wrong way, but I...

I don't want you here right now.

Yeah, okay, for sure.

Whatever you need.

What about, um, food?

Is that a ridiculous concept?

No, it sounds good.

I'm not hungry, but I'll
see you guys later.

I'll check in. Look after him.

I'll be in touch.

Take care.

Food sounds good.




MIMI: Morning.

I woke up and I felt
compelled to go for a jog.

At... : am?


- While I was jogging on the beach...
- Yep.

I thought of the perfect song to
add to Ivan's funeral playlist.

No, I'm not sure that there's
gonna be a funeral playlist.

I believe there should be,

and I think Sexy Eyes by
Dr Hook should be on it.

Because Ivan said it reminded him of me.

I can see that.


So, you'll talk to Pete?

I really want to, but he doesn't
want me around right now

and I really have to
try to respect that.

Lil, Pete needs you.

You don't take no for an answer.

I don't know what to say to him.

It doesn't matter. You
just keep showing up.



That's decaf.

It's much better for your heart.




I'm not denying that living together

doesn't have its advantages

but, um, the longer that you're
here on sort of the ground floor,

the harder it is for me to
shield you from the truth

with the smoke and the mirrors.

What are you talking about?

My 'je Ne sais quoi'.

My, um, whiff of mystery and intrigue.

It's very hard to sustain all the time.

(CHUCKLES) There's no
mystery between us.

A testament to how well I maintain it.

Sim, I've nursed you
back from overdoses.

I helped you steal an ex's car.

I've seen you queefing in time to music.

I know everything there
is to know about you.

What did I do on my th birthday?

You stole your mum's vibrator.


I'm worried.

- I'm very worried.
- Noted.

Poor Pete.


It's wrong that it's making us so horny.

Yeah, probably.


Look at this.

I said no to the update.

I didn't say maybe, I said no,
and the thing updated itself.

So now I can't edit
anything in my calendar.

Should this not be a job
for your assistant?

Yeah, well, he quit,
didn't he? Stress leave.

years old. Seriously?

Sit down.

So, you made quite an
impression upstairs

with your Jack wrangling.

A lot of small swinging
dicks were very impressed,

so impressed they want you in
the sandpit with the big boys.

Okay, I've got swinging dicks
and big boys in a sandpit?

They want you on weekdays.

I've just dropped a
huge promotion on you,

and you're sitting there with
a face like a slapped ass.

Do you want it or not?

No, of course! I'm...

I'm stunned.

Who would be taking my place
at The Breakfast Bar?

No one. Oh, well, Jeremy's
taking the reins for now.

So, there you are.

You've got a promotion, and I've got
a board meeting in three minutes.

Congratulations. Get out.

That speed's good for you.

It's working because
everything is wobbling.


I want to do a crash zoom
out, then crash zoom again!

- Ooh. Ooh. Ah.
- It's the most dramatic way, I think.

What's happening?

Rock-hard abs in eight days.

If you're not satisfied,
they'll take them back.

Why are we doing infomercials?

It's fairly straightforward,

more infomercials, less
meaningful-in-any-way content,

more money for the big cheese.

Clearly it signals the
end for all of us.

Except for you, obviously.

Congratulations on your promotion.

How do you know about that?

Oh, we all know, Lily.

Congratulations. It's really amazing.

I only just found out.

That's funny,

'cause I just found out that
this is our last desperate sh*t

before a mass-execution-style sacking.

- Who said that?
- Michael from accounts.

Michael from accounts also predicted
the world would end in the year .

- So let's...
- He said the whole crew could go.

No one's safe.

NIKKII: Feel the burn!

Do you know how much it
costs to raise a child, Lily?

Not off the top of my head, no.

Half a million dollars.

And that's if they've got good teeth.

JEREMY: Are you sure?

- NIKKII: Don't.
- I think we can just have it up.

- Jeremy?
- Yeah?

Can I have a word?

- What's up?
- Why is everyone getting fired?

No one's getting fired.


Not yet, anyway. That's
worst-case scenario.

We've just done some of
our best shows ever.

Some of our most expensive shows ever.

Yeah, and we need to build on that
momentum and focus on quality!

People aren't watching
weekend television anymore.

They're in cafes ordering
half-double piccolos.

If you want to blame something,
then blame baristas or podcasts.

TED Talks will ruin us all.

And this little reaction
has nothing to do

with your own show falling over?

You're not trying to impress
Dad by saving some dollars

and throwing the rest
of us under the bus?

We are haemorrhaging.

And there is no us.

There's me, driving
the bus with one hand

whilst trying to staunch the
bleeding with the other.

And where are you? Are
you even on the bus?

No, you're not, Lily.
You're not on the bus.



Okay, you get into bed.

Here we go. There.


We're so sorry, Pete.

He was a real character.
Salt of the earth.


I remember when we first met,

and he made me feel so welcome.

And I know it's just so sad that Minnie,

she won't grow up with Ivan in her life.

He was a wonderful grandpa.

Yeah, but the thing about that is, see,

you always say the right things,

but the truth is, if you'd had your way,

he wouldn't be in her life, would he?

He'd be here and she'd be in London.

If there's anything we can do...

You could not take my daughter
away from me. How about that?

No? Didn't think so.

If we can just get
through these next thr...

You should know I've hired a lawyer.

I've taken out an injunction.
She's not going anywhere.



- Hey, mate.
- Hey.

Thought you could use some food.

Oh, thanks.

Just ravioli, it's nothing fancy.


Anyway, I'll let you get back to it.

Uh, do you want to...
do you want to come in?

Oh, no, that's okay, mate.
You've probably got...

I'd actually... I could, um...

I could use another opinion.

Sure. Of course.

Um, do you want a beer or something?

- No, mate, I'm good.
- No, sorry, I...

Uh, yeah.

It's about as pointless as it gets, hey?

Choosing what to wear
to your own cremation.

Yeah, it's a tough one.

I should just donate these,
but God knows who'd want 'em.

I don't know, I would have liked to
see your old man in some flares.

Actually, you joke, but he
wore flares to his wedding.

Yeah, did not turn out well, so...

Yeah, so I was thinking this one.

Yeah, it's...

Well, I like it.

Didn't know your dad was
that formal, though.

Yeah, that's a... that's
a good point, actually.

Well, maybe like that but
with the... Doggies tie?


Yeah, that's good.

VOICEMAIL: Hey, this is
Pete. Leave a message.

Hey, so this is me
respecting your space,

or trying to.

Also knowing that by leaving
this message, I'm failing to.

Anyway, I was thinking
about that fishing trip

we went on with your dad,

and I can't really
remember what happened.

It wasn't super eventful, was it?

But I do remember it was really nice.


We're in the share house and you're
trying to defrost the freezer,

and I grabbed a knife and shoved
it into the back of the ice,

and we hit the gas pipe.

We called your dad,
and then he was like,

"Get out of the house,
you bloody idiots!

"The thing is gonna blow up!"

And we ran, 'cause we were convinced
we were gonna be incinerated.


And the day Manisha was born,
he was so, so proud of you

and already so in love with her.

He couldn't keep it all in his skin.

Anyway, that's me
signing off for tonight.

I'll probably call you again tomorrow.

JACK: How's Mimi?

Doing a lot of running.

She's got a new sports bra and
says it's a whole new world.

So, house.

Yes, house.

Unsurprisingly, it's a bad time to sell.

Surprise, surprise.

What are your plans?

Well, it makes sense
for you to stay here.

I can't afford this mortgage,
even with this shiny new job.

It doesn't seem fair
you're homeless, Lil.

I can keep crashing
at Mum and Vincent's.

It's fine. I don't have to
find somewhere right away.

Uh, we did choose a house
with three bedrooms, Lil.

That would...

That would be crazy, though, right?

What you're suggesting
would be convenient, yes,

and economically sensible, sure,

but ultimately toxic and...

Batshit crazy.


How would that work?

Well, there'd have to be rules.

You'd have to clean a lot
more. I was carrying you a lot.

That's probably fair.

I'm not saying forever, Lil.

Just, there's a lot going
on with the new job.

Could be one less thing.

You know, I think we were better friends

than I ever gave us credit for.

Good morning, Lily Woodward.

Good morning, Liam Johnson.

Not to guilt you,

but I did put my reputation
on the line to work with you.

- You had a part-time job at the pub.
- A great pub.

And now the ship is going
down, and you're off

on a first-class lifeboat with
a cheeky Sauv Blanc in hand

while the rest of us are
drowning under contract.

Thank you for that nautical analogy.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I
will attempt to save the world.

SASHA: What's everyone
doing in my office?

- Sasha.
- Good morning.

Oh, for the love of an assistant.

Look, I've been doing a lot of thinking,

and I am beyond excited and I'm grateful

and even feeling
a little...'#blessed'

about the opportunity, but...

You're gonna sabotage it anyway.

...I can't ignore the fact

that Jeremy is sending The
Breakfast Bar straight to hell.

Look, I respect the
comrades-in-arms thing,

and good on you for giving a shit,

but his ideas are gonna save
the network a lot of money

and I don't know how to argue with that.

What if I can?

What if I can come up with
an alternative direction

that will save money,

as well as maintain a
semblance of integrity

before you have to f*re anyone?

God love you.

At least let me have a crack,

and then I'll start at weekdays focused,

ready to give over every last
drop of my life's blood.

Look, I've got a meeting
upstairs in hours.

If you can dazzle them
with a better pitch

aimed at a broader demographic
with % of the budget

without using the words 'female
focus' or 'multi-platform',

then knock yourself out.

I'm sorry if I was less
than gracious earlier.

No need to apologise.

It's not your fault
you've been singled out

to soar the dizzying
heights of weekdays...

Thank you.

...while the rest of us are
slowing starved of oxygen

and the will to live.

Okay, look, this cannot
go any further, but...



- Hi.
- Hey.

How's Pete?

I don't really know.

He's become obsessed
with getting things perfect

and making very active decisions.


Really, that doesn't
sound like Pete at all.

Yeah, so I thought you
might be able to help.

The venue he's booked for the wake,

I don't want to interfere, but
it's not... it's not great.

What is it? Is it like a pub, or...?

It's a fancy conference room in a hotel.

Does he know you're asking me?

'Cause he's made it very clear that
he doesn't want me interfering.

No, and I get you guys,

whatever you guys are right now,

but if there's anything that you can do,

he doesn't actually have to know.


Want to try sleeping a bit?

Uh, no, I want to just
get this eulogy right.

Don't want it to be half-arsed.


"But the just man, though he
die early, shall be at rest.

"For the age that is honourable

"comes not with the passing of time,

"nor can it be measured
in terms of years.

"Rather, understanding is
the hoary crown for men,

"and an unsullied life the
attainment of old age."

Um, Dad and I, uh...

I was, um...

I remember the first...

Sorry, I was gonna segue into a story

about the first game of
football my dad took me to,

and how it was...

wasn't exactly what you'd
call an unsullied experience.

How it was about as far from
an unsullied experience

as you could get.

It was gonna be witty and,
um... and poignant and...

Uh, see, I'm a writer.

That's what I do, I write,

but this is...

It's crap, sorry.

This is not...

It's not a story. There's no story here.

He was here, and he
wasn't a saint, my dad.

He was far from it. He was...

He was actually a pretty
shitty dad for a lot of my life,

truth be told, and, um...
and then he wasn't.


And then he was a little less shitty.


He didn't learn anything.
He didn't need to die.

There's no end to the
story, you know, he just...


He really loved his
granddaughter very much.



ERIC: Hey, Lil, can you hear me?

Okay, hang on. I'm just
gonna find a quiet spot.

Tell me something good.

Something good? How
about this? It's done.

- The wake venue is sorted.
- Really?

Strings pulled. I am
your guardian angel.

- Are you serious?
- As a heart att*ck!


I don't know what to say.

Sorry, Lily. But it's a
pleasure, always a pleasure.

Speaking of pleasure, these
Kyrgies know how to par-Tay!

If you're picking up
what I'm putting down.

- Yeah.

- Eric, okay.

I've got to go, but seriously,
thank you so much. I owe you one.

No, you don't, my darling.

Anything for you,
anytime, you know that.

And hey, congrats on the promo!


- Talk soon!
- Right. Later.

Thank you.

Hey, um...

I've found a new venue for the wake.

We can go back to your dad's
after, but first let's...

I don't care where we go,
as long as it's not here.



How'd you know?


Yeah, that's perfect.

♪ You either love or hate it ♪

♪ Depending on the score ♪

♪ But when your team run
out or they kick a goal ♪

♪ How's the mighty roar ♪


♪ Up there, CAZALY ♪

♪ In there and fight ♪

- ♪ Out there and at 'em ♪

♪ Show 'em your might ♪

♪ Up there, CAZALY ♪

- ♪ Don't let 'em in ♪
- Oh, good kick.

♪ Fly like an angel ♪

♪ You're out there to win ♪

♪ Up there, CAZALY ♪

♪ You're out there to win... ♪



Couldn't help thinking,
you know, back at Ivan's,

would you come to my funeral?


It is never not about you, is it?

But seriously, would you?

At the end, would you visit me?

Anthony, I'll probably have to
wipe your bum, out of duty.

It wasn't nice.


I told Lil that it was.

But it wasn't.


He deserved so much better.

Check it out.

I really hope grief sex
isn't on the cards tonight.

I could not take that.

No, me neither.

Have you told Pete this was you?


Are you going to?

- Hi!
- Hello, Mummy.

Whose nap time is it?

I know, I have to take.

- See you, sweetie.
- See you soon.

Yeah, it's all right, darling girl.

- It's all right.


- You ready?
- Yeah.

That was weirdly kind of fun.

Yeah. It was fun.

I... I don't know how I would
have done all this without you.

I'm pretty amazing.

You are. You are.

And actually, I know it's not
the most romantic of moments,

but given we're both cynics, anyway,

I feel like you should
probably marry me one day.

I mean, not today,
obviously. That'd be weird.

But in the future?

Yeah, because you're such a catch

with the custody battle and
your obliterated career.

Don't forget I'm also broke.

Yeah. Right. Trifecta.


But you'd love me regardless.


I might have, if it had been real.

It was. Um, it is.


Maybe we caught glimpses of it, but
I don't think I could ever hurt you.

I've never been under your skin enough.


Um, so today was... it was all Lily.

She didn't want you to
know, but you should.

She moved mountains.


♪ I was sitting all alone ♪

♪ Watching people get it on... ♪

Thank you.


♪ They were dancing... ♪

Have you seen Pete?

Uh, bathroom?

No, I just... I went in there
and he wasn't in there.

You seen Pete?

Uh, not for a while, no.

♪ I looked up ♪

♪ What did I see? ♪

♪ Sexy eyes ♪

♪ Moving across the floor
got me wanting more ♪

♪ Sexy eyes ♪

♪ Sexy ♪

- ♪ Sexy eyes ♪

♪ Getting down with you I
want to move with you ♪

- ♪ Sexy eyes... ♪
- Thank you.

I know things have been a
little strained between us.

Some things were said in
the heat of the moment.

Hurtful things.

But that doesn't change the
fact that I think of you

like a vastly superior
version of my own mother.

Less so now that I'm with Vincent,

so in, like, a not
genetically messy way.


You're family.

Right back at you.

Also, I'm a work in progress,

and I know that I've been known
to veer vastly off course.

But I'm...

I love your son.


And, um...

I've decided to go to the Camino.

All by myself.

In Ivan's honour.


- Yes.
- Yes.


♪ Sexy eyes ♪

♪ Getting down with you I
want to move with you ♪

♪ Sexy eyes... ♪

Whatever you decide to do in the future,

you know I'll support it.

Love you.

Uh, so call me back if you want.

Saved message.

Ah, g'day, mate, it's me. It's your dad.

Um, I saw the show.

Not bad.

Not that you should take advice from me.

And whatever you decide
to do in the future,

you know I'll support it.

Love you.

Uh, so call me back if you want.


Hey, there.

Kick it to me.

Come on, come back to the house.

It's cold.

It's not cute, you know.

All the calls and the interfering.

I'm not interfering.

I don't understand why
you can't understand

that I don't want your help, Lily.

So just...

just get the f*ck out of here.

Did you hear me?

Yes, I heard you.

Oh, good. All right,
I'll just... I'll go.

Don't worry about it. That's fine.

Can you move?


Kiss me back.

SONG: ♪ She's a whistle on the wind ♪

♪ A feather on the breeze ♪

♪ A ripple on the stream ♪

♪ She is sunlight on the sea ♪

♪ She's a soft summer rain ♪

♪ Falling gently through the trees ♪

♪ And I love her ♪

♪ She's cunning as a fox ♪

♪ Clever as a crow ♪

♪ Solid as a rock ♪

♪ She is stubborn as a stone ♪

♪ She's a hard-headed woman ♪

♪ And the best one that I know ♪

♪ And I love her. ♪





Come up with a pitch overnight?

Oh, no, seriously, I've got nothing.

- Really?
- Nuh. Not a single idea.

Not a buzzword, not a catchphrase.

I have jack.

I mean...

- Not Jack.
- Yeah. Not Jack.

Well, look, I would offer to help,
but I think my TV days are over.

As glorious and as heady as they were.

I feel sad about that.

Yeah. Me, not so much.

I have to get ready for work.

All right.

Don't look.

- What? I'm not looking.
- Stop it.

- You're totally looking.
- What's the matter?

- You're looking.
- I've seen it anyway.

Now, can I just say that was
better than I remember.

Really? I feel like you've
let yourself go a little bit.

Yeah, I know. It's those
muffins in the office.

So, should we mentally prepare
for a screaming match

out on the street, or, um...

You know, the last time we did this...

The last time we did this,

you had just gotten
another woman pregnant.

Yeah, that's true.

I'm sorry about Meredith and Manisha.

I know.

Well, this time we're not
going to be weird about this.

We're gonna have a big,
adult conversation.

Sexy. How's, um, how's tonight?


- Can I have a shower?
- Mm-hmm. Of course.

Please. Do you want these?

- Thank you.
- Also sexy.


Pitch ideas.

Peeling back the layers.

Full... disclosure.

Lily, why am I always the last to know?

Well, you do live in a bubble.

I cannot go back to producing
someone else's show.

Can you imagine the dynamic?

- Me, in service of others!
- Yeah, Nikkii,

I'm trying to come up with a
pitch for upstairs right now.

So it might be in your best
interest to let me get in the zone.

Yeah. Enough said.

Zone away.

I'm counting on you! You're my girl!

Just remember, do not mention
women's issues in front of Brad.

Yeah, the wife left him
for another woman.

Better not to even be a
woman in front of him.

Here she comes, our saviour. How
are the nerves? Did you sleep?

- You don't look well slept.
- You afraid I'll out-pitch you?

I might be, if I hadn't
seen you pitch before.

Break a leg.


Full disclosure, I can't pitch.

I am infamous for my
inability to sell ideas.

I get in the way.

In a perfect world,

I would have prepared for
today with stats and demos.

And, unfortunately, that
just wasn't possible.

Life got in the way.

As it does.

If we're lucky.

So this is all I've got.

We book these extraordinary people.

And we get them for a total of
something like four minutes.

What if we peeled back the layers

to find out who these people really are?

Because no one is ever just one thing.

So my idea is

that we use our time for
longer interview-style formats,

like... sort of like
an updated Parkinson.

And if we shift our focus
away from the magazine

multi-segment format, we
could save a ton of cash.

Are you suggesting that we
replace all our current segments

with one long interview?

Yes. I am.

Is that it?

That's it.


- Oh, I thought I might find you here.
- Why's that?

- I followed you from your dad's.
- That'll do it.

I've been thinking a lot

about this whole 'not without
my daughter' situation.

And as Manisha's godfather...

You're not her godfather, but...

did I do to deserve such disrespect?

Who is that?

Brando. Marlon Brando.

I was there in the corridor
for when she was born.

- That's true. You were.
- Yeah.

And I made a few calls,
pulled a few favours.

And if Meredith and Dick-chell...

Don't. You don't have to call him that.

Well, if they want to take our
girl to go and see the Queen,

then I'm going to have you on a plane

with a working visa before
they even have a chance

to organise that tiny little passport.

Engage ankles,

knees, quads, core, glutes.

And concentrating.

And one...

one small step for Nishi!

One giant leap for Nishi-kind.


Good one. Yeah, kick. You can fly!

How's Pete doing?

He's... getting by.

Thanks for asking.

Are you hiding in here
or saying goodbye?

My pitch.

- Total cock-up.
- Yeah.

- Big swinging dicks weren't aroused.
- You don't have to tell me.

But they think it might work for : .

At night?

They said your passion was infectious,

they see a gap in the market
for an interview-style show,

and you caught Brad on a good hair day.


you're up.

- Again with the slapped-arse face.
- I'm sorry.

Obviously, this extraordinary
development is stupendous for me.

But I'm painfully aware that
it doesn't help anyone else.

Jesus Christ, Mother Teresa.

When they give you your own show,

you probably get to pick your own team.


own show?


Ah, Lillian.


This is all very adult.

Well, this is... this is who we are now.


- Madame?
- Thank you.


So, how was your day?

Very interesting.

How was your day?

It was very productive.

- Actually, I have some news.
- So do I.

- My... do you want to go first?
- No, no.

Mine's really big, so you
probably want to go first.


But.. Oh, no. I know. We'll
go together at the same time.

- Well, that's great.
- Ready? One, two...

- I got my dream job.
- I dropped the injunction.

- What? What dream job?
- I got my dream job.

Night-time, prime time, all mine.

And I can crew it with
anyone I want, even you,

if you can handle
sleeping with your boss,

which is probably not a great idea.

No, not a great idea. But...

But that's phenomenal. Congratulations.

- Thank you. Thanks.
- Uh... that's great.

- I wasn't even listening. I'm sorry.
- Ah.

I didn't hear your news.
What's your news?

Uh, my news is that I dropped
the injunction against Meredith.

I knew you would.

- How did that feel?
- It felt right.

And it hurt like a bastard.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Is there still a chance
they won't go to London?

No. No, they still leave in two weeks.

- Shit.
- Yeah.


You have to go.

And you have to stay.

You really... have to go.
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