01x10 - The End (part 2)

[bunniefuu]

Okay,

all we gotta to do is get through
the entire Tokyo Police Department,

the Japanese Secret Service,
and a bunch of Special Forces dudes.

Oh, right, right, right.
Without k*lling any of them. Yeah.

Then we gotta fight our way through
a couple insane Japanese superheroes.

No, I know, who aren't
our enemies. Yep.

Then we gotta get
to the top of the tallest,

most heavily defended building in Tokyo,

probably uh, fight Lady Bullseye again,
who's already kicked your ass,

and then, then, if we're
lucky enough to survive,

k*ll your girlfriend's uncle.

Look, look, look, look, don't worry.
She'll totally understand.

I-I know it's tough. Okay?

I mean, she said you guys are family,
which means he's family.

And-and I've had
to k*ll family before,

and yes, it sucks,

but you know what's worse?

Actually, I-I-I don't know
what's worse.

Okay, uh, th-this is
a terrible pep talk.

Uh, here,
hold out your hands.

Alright, you know what these are?

Calluses.

You're the best damn assassin
I've ever met, you're a monster. Okay?

And when we turn this corner,
we're gonna walk up to that building

and you're gonna fulfill
your destiny.

And then I'm gonna go

wherever the hell I deserve to go.

Just just two dudes.
Two fates.

One awesome ride. Right?

I don't know about you,
but I'd watch the sh*t outta that movie.

- Psst.
- Huh?

Hey, Yuki.

Hey, over here.

It's me, Bryce Fowler?

We met at the, uh,
the Love Motel, you know?

We fought on top of a car.
You tried to k*ll me?

You look great, by the way.

I-I-I... Did you do something different
with your hair or something?

I can't put my finger on it.

Right, right, right.

Okay, uh, look, anyway,
I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm here for Monkey?

Monkey?

Exactly, yeah, short guy,

wears a suit,
little bit of a temper problem. Yeah.

Monkey is a noble warrior.

He has my allegiance
if ever he were to call on Yuki!

Yeah, well, hey, ring-ring.

Hey, uh, will you grab Haruka?

And meet us over in the alley
by the Burger King.

What? That's impossible.

Shinji?

We thought so too,
but it actually makes perfect sense.

They thought so too,

but it makes
perfect sense.

But that would mean...

This is all for nothing.

Wait. What about Akiko?

Is she involved too?

- Uh, no, no, no, no.
Akiko doesn't know.

I mean, at least we hope
she doesn't.

Akiko is innocent.

Wait, how do you speak monkey?

I am speaking with the ghost
that's with the monkey.

He speaks monkey.

Hold on,

there's another ghost?

Oh yeah.

And he's handsome
as all hell.

Excuse me.
Clear the way. Coming through.

Got a lot of hungry grunts
inside the building.

Uh, I... I don't know.

Stop right there.

I'll take one of those.

Uh... uh... sorry, sir...

they're only for guests
inside the party.

Silver Samurai is the greatest hero
in all of Japan.

No! I'm just trying
to do my job.

Your only job is
to feed Silver Samurai!

I have been standing
around here for hours,

now give me
a frickin' rice cake!

Huh?

They made me do it!
They made me do it!

Ohhhh sh*t.

Yeah, I don't think it's gonna work
this time, bud.

Hey, look!

The pigs are attacking
the monkey!

Let's get 'em!

- Huh?
- Everybody remain calm.

Silver Samurai has everything
under control...

Traitors!

I should have known.

Protect the Prime Minister!

Aw sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

Chaos on election night.

v*olence erupts
in downtown Tokyo,

and we have reports
that the monkey vigilante

that has been terrorizing
the city lately

may be at the center of it.

I repeat: The so-called
"Hit Monkey"

may be at the center
of it all.

Authorities are saying
to seek safety and shelter...

He's coming for me.

I know it.

No, Uncle,

he's one of the good guys.

He's my friend.

What are you talking about?

You know this creature?

Ozu was behind it all.

He orchestrated
Ken's assassination

and almost got me k*lled.

He also tried
to steal the election

from the rightful candidate.

Ozu was a terrible man!

What do you mean... was?

Monkey took care of him.

Ah...

And Bonsai Master, too.

Oh my god.

Look, I know
it sounds crazy,

but Monkey is coming here
to protect you.

He's coming here
to protect us all.

We just have to wait for him.

My thoughts exactly.

End of the line, rodent!

You mess with the Monkey,

you get the Cobra.

Hey, Fat Boy.

I thought they locked you up.

Let me ask you:
How do you piss in that thing?

Is there a cod-piece?

Or are you just free-balling
under that skirt?

I'm obviously wearing pants!

Too easy.

Holy sh*t. I love watching
weirdos duke it out!

Feel like I'm watching
pay-per-view!

You know?
For free, though!

Okay, Monkey.

One fastball special,
coming up.

Woo! Fastball special.

Ha ha! Go ahead,
let 'em have it!

Huh?

Ho-ho, you again. Wow.

I mean, it's funny how we keep
meeting like this, yeah?

Must be fate. Right?
Or destiny?

Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Let's not ruin this moment with words.

Oh, you've gotta be sh1tting me.

Come on, little monkey.

We're all dressed up
and ready to dance.

What is it you want?

Name your price.

Save your breath.

I already work for you,
Prime Minister.

Well, technically, I work
for Bonsai Master,

but he worked for you.

Right?

Don't worry, boss.

You're just bait.

Monkey's here to k*ll you,

and I'm here to k*ll Monkey.

Once he's dead,

your little secret
will be too.

Now get back there, old man,

before I lose my temper!

You didn't think you could
get away from Silver Samurai, did you?

Holy sh*t! Where'd he go?

Sword!

Okay, that was badass.

I mean, he definitely practiced it,
but still, you know, kudos.

Hey dude, we're running out
of real estate real quick here, man!

Ohhh, sh*t!

Whoa! Ho-ho, yeah, man!

Huh?

Well, either that's a good sign

or a really bad one.

Don't go up there!

She k*lled everybody!

Oh sh*t!

Hi there.

So glad
you could join us.

You know, our first meeting was
so incredibly irritating,

but I'm sure
as a fellow professional

you understand why I didn't want
to just call that a draw.

Oh crap, crap, crap!

Hey! Drop it!

Ugh. So annoying.

Here, little monkey-monkey,

Come out
and play-ee-yay.

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha!

Ugh.

Huh?

Son of a bitch!

Jesus Louisus! She's terrifying!

Now what did that priest say
about salt?

Oh right!

What the sh*t?

Hello, Bryce.

Oh my... Oh my god.

I have physical form.

Oh, and it hurts!

I remember you, Bryce.

From that Goldman Sachs conference
back in 2011.

Dammit!

You hit on me.

- Oh yeah.
Yeah, I'm remembering.

Not my proudest moment.

As I remember,

I got the target
and you got stood up.

But this'll be fun...

You have to understand.

I was frustrated with Ken.

He was always
so impulsive.

What? What-what-what are you
talking about?

Uncle, you are Prime Minister.
We gotta keep you safe.

There's a helicopter on the roof.
Iymasho!

Uh, uh, uh.

Where do you think you're going?

Ah, sh*t.

Oww!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Oh ho. Come on.
You got this.

Holy sh*t! That hurts!

Is that all you got?

- Go! After them!
Save Akiko, man!

No, it's fine, okay.
We are a team!

Ugh. You know, for a dead guy,
you look like sh*t.

Bryce, Bryce, Bryce.

You were always a worthless,
second-rate assassin.

Can't argue with you there.

But not so worthless
that I can't be a decent diversion.

That was for Ito-san.

Oh, there is a ghost.

Oh.

Yeah. Hey.

What the hell?

Holy sh*t.

Stop.

Akiko, stop.

I have something
I have to tell you.

I caused this.

I'm responsible for all this death
and destruction.

It was me.

Wha-what? What was you?

Ken was losing the election!

We were behind by ten points

when we should
have been ahead by five!

What are you saying?

Bonsai Master approached me.

He said that
Ken could be moved aside.

That I could run
in Ken's place.

That he would support
my agenda.

Sure I'd have to make
a few concessions,

but on all the things
we cared about,

he would support us!

I did it for the country!

You... k*lled Ken?

I did a horrible thing.

And the worst thing is,
it worked.

But then,
everyone started dying.

And this monkey came back.

It's all gotten out of hand.

You have come for me,
haven't you, Monkey?

Wait...

You are the spirit of vengeance,

come to punish me
for my sins.

No! Monkey, no!

You don't have to do this.

No, Monkey!

k*lling him is not the way!

He deserves to stand trial
in front of the country.

Don't do it, pal.

Look, I've made
this mistake before, okay.

Akiko won't forgive you.

Is that a ghost?

I know, I know it'll cost me
a chance of ascending.

And we won't get the person responsible
for all this sh*t.

But there's... there's something tells me
that k*lling this selfish prick

isn't the answer.

And-and-and I know it won't give me
any kind of happy ending,

but I... Look, I'm willing to forgo that,
in order for you,

for you to have the happy ending.

Oh sh*t, what?...

Oh for... Now what?

Oh! Holy sh*t.

Hey! Hey, hey, look!
Look, I'm ascending!

Oh my god!

Oh!

Oh, I get it.
I had to do the right thing.

Oh, that's what Baldy meant
by removing the seed of evil.

It was like,
the barren field was me.

I... Ha ha!
Oh, that cryptic jerk.

Holy sh*t. Oh, sh*t...
Hey! Uh, Monkey!

Monkey. Look, I think...

I think you know
how I feel about you, okay.

And I'm sorry
for ruining your life.

Just take care
of yourself, alright?

And remember to drink
plenty of water!

Shinji Yokohama,

I'm placing you under arrest
for the m*rder of Ken Takahara.

It can't end like this.

Ken's death
will not be in vain.

No!

Oh!

What did you do,
you animal?

How did he get my g*n?

He was the only family I had!

God damn you!

Monkey, you have
to get out of here.

No, Monkey, you've just sh*t
the Prime Minister!

Trust me,
you have to leave!

May the road rise
to meet you.

May the wind be
always at your back.

May the sun shine warm
upon your face.

May the rain

fall softly upon your fields

until we meet again.

Hi, guys. Nice to see you.

Yep.

Thank you.
Good to see you.

I'm going to make this right.

I will clear your name.

I promise you.

Yes, I put a juice box in there.

You told me, like, six times.

Mm, mm, mm.

Huh?

I can't tell you how happy
this whole image makes me.

Well, here's what happened.

Uh, you know,
I got to the afterlife,

and it was
an awesome place.

You know? Fire everywhere.
Super dramatic.

Uh, you know,
little bit like Reno, but better.

Ahh!

- Slayer playing.
Dragons everywhere.

Really fun.

And I was like, psyched.

But I thought, "You know what?
As great as this place is,"

and it was great, really.

I was like, you know what?
My friend's up there all alone,

still kind of learning
the ropes.

Uh, lots more K*llers to k*ll,
if you know what I mean.

And I think
he needs my help.

Anyway, the red dude,
he agreed, you know.

Made me sign a contract,
which I didn't read but who cares.

I mean, how's he ever gonna
hold me to it, right?

So I figure, you know,
we go to New York.

I have a great handler.

She, uh, she books me
on all my gigs,

and-and right after we put
the fear of God in her

for booking me on this one,

she'll definitely want
to take you on as a client.

Then we can earn some real coin.
You know what I mean?

k*ll a whole bunch of assholes
who deserve to die

and maybe, uh,

you know, see the sights.

Oh, oh, by the way,
check this out. Look at this.

I know, right?

I mean, I figure
this could come in pretty handy.

Yeah, you know I picked up
a few things from Yuki. You know?

Ol' Brycey's back
in action, huh?

Here, let me clean
that up for you.

Yeah. I mean, I'm still working on it.

You know, ten-thousand hours.

That's what that, uh,
Gladwell said, right?