05x04 - Faulty, Okay?!

[bunniefuu]

Yeah, we got drinks over here.

There's volleyball over there.

And... we got food comin'.

Don't worry. I know y'all hungry.
There's food comin'.

Aight.

MOE: Ah, sh*t.

It's two already?

This my third coat of sunscreen.

You know you missin'
your whole backside, right?

I'm always facin' the sun, though.

- (LAUGHS)
- Well, you need to put some on, too,

'fore you out here lookin'
like a strawberry.

- Yeah, you right. Gimme some of that.
- Yeah.

Yo, this was a good idea.

Folks straight-up frolickin' out here.

I, I didn't even know we frolicked.

sh*t, I was frolickin' yesterday.

Ah, well,
they frolickin' on a empty stomach.

Ah, Suge was supposed to
bring the meat for the grill,

and he still ain't here.

Typical Suge.

The princess is here.

- Ayeee! What's up, girl?
- What's up, y'all?

Aric, I see you got yo' boobs out today.

(CHUCKLES)

- 'Bout time you got here.
- What's the problem?

It's not like I was gonna help anyway.

- You want sunscreen?
- What's this?

This just regular-ass Aveeno.

("SHOW ME SOMETHING"
BY RENNI RUCCI PLAYING)

♪ Once I catch my nut,
I make the n*gga depart ♪

♪ I'm a real bitch,
I can't be no sweetheart ♪

♪ Had him suckin' on the p*ssy,
like the sh*t a SweeTART ♪

(KELLI LAUGHS)

Girl, there's n*gg*s in bulk out here.

It's like Costco.

I don't know how we
gon' find this party.

All the Blacks had the same idea.

Damn, we are a monolith.

I think that might be
Nathan's group over there.

n*gg*s to the North and the South?

Girl, the options is lookin' good, too.

- (ALL LAUGHING)
- Caught one bee on Bumble,

- and the bitch is back.
- (ALL LAUGHING)

First of all, I said the date was good.

The sex... I f*ck weird now.

I need to get more reps in with
somebody who knows what they're doin'.

Oh, someone who knows what
they're doin'? That would be me.

You know what?
I might be on my spiritual sh*t,

but I'm here to support you.

- And you.
- Ooh.

Are we open for business?

- KELLI AND MOLLY: Ahh!
- (ISSA LAUGHS)

Okay, yes, Tag Team!
I love that for y'all.

I'mma go try to talk to Nathan,

and not cry in his mouth.

Should ask him what my tears taste like.

- I know they salty.
- KELLI: Didn't he walk out

on you in the middle of the night?

Like my Dad.

Girl, it's been a week. Still nothing?

I mean, we texted, but not about that.

We both been super busy, though.

All right then, maybe just like,

ease into it.

Take your time.

- That's what I would do.
- Do y'all see this?

I knew as soon as I announced

this Nothing But Water deal

he'd have some sh*t to say.

Don't even trip off of him, okay?

He can have all the
emoji fingers he wants,

but his stuff sold out because of who?

Mm, that part. Everybody
wants to be successful on Etsy,

but not everybody's ready for the fame.

Y'all right.

I ain't... Let me stay off this sh*t.

I am not about to argue with someone

who went to Scared
Straight for high school.

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHS) I didn't
know he went there, too.

♪ ♪

Man, I've tried to get into juicin',

but they say you still can't juice meat.

This... (CHUCKLES)

- Hey!
- Hey! Hey.

- Thanks for comin'.
- Yeah, great. And you?

(LAUGHS) You didn't ask.

How are you doing?

I'm just tryin' to get my host on.

That's dope.

Every party needs a GHB.

That's, "Great Host Boiii."

And this party's got you.

- NATHAN: Thanks.
- Killin' it since...

before we got here. (LAUGHS)

- Yeah, thanks.
- (LAUGHS)

We would love some alcohol.

I say, what's happenin'? I'm Aric.

I got y'all.

I got, got drinks right over here.

- All right.
- Okay.

Yeah.

The weather turned out great, right?

What is it, like ?

Nah, it's probably, like , actually.

(CHUCKLES) What you think it is?

Oh, sh*t. I should probably...

- You good?
- Mm-hm.

PARTYGOER: Excuse me, rainbow girl.

Can you throw it back?

So, he's definitely mad at me.

He's bein' so weird, right?

I mean, I don't know his baseline.

I always thought he was a weird n*gga.

I thought that was the draw.

We should've talked earlier.

- Maybe I shouldn't have come.
- You want us to leave?

- And make things more weird?
- It might not be to him.

But then again, I don't
know his baseline.

Wait, Kelli, you're drinkin'?

No! Booze is on snooze

until a bitch is enlightened.

(LAUGHS) This is for you.

Loosen up.

You right, thanks.

Is Aric swipe right or swipe left?

Well, let's not choose just yet.

Everybody's still in the runnin'

until they disqualify themselves.

- Yes!
- Hoo-hoo! She back!

Yo! Who tryin' to get busy

on the Spades table, though?

Oh, Spades! (SQUEALS)

Wait, is that like Pitty Pat?
I'll play if y'all teach me.

The cut-off is . Ain't nobody

teachin' you Spades at your big age.

They said I can't play.

- Guys against girls.
- Let's go.

("CAN'T BELIEVE IT"
BY MATT MARTIANS PLAYING)

♪ Didn't wanna eat it, threw it all up ♪

♪ Right here where I'm needed ♪

♪ The sacrifice ♪

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I mean, I'm just, I'm
just, I'm ju... Ahh! Bam!

Ahh! (LAUGHS)

We gon' take those.

KELLI: Oh, I am gonna take those.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

You know what? You gon' go

'head and call us the librarians.

Why? 'Cause we got books!

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- Read 'em!

(SENSUAL MUSIC PLAYING)

They f*ckin'.

♪ ♪

Oh, no. They not f*ckin'.

♪ ♪

But they f*ckin'.

Y'all lucky y'all not some n*gg*s,
'cause these size s

would be all up in yo' ass.

Mmm, size s, huh?

- Noted.
- Aric, what your feet be lookin' like?

Probably drier than a bitch.

Barbers be the ashiest ones.

Damn, why you comin' for me?

KELLI: Don't worry 'bout it, baby.
I got cocoa butter.

ARIC: I wear a size nine.

KELLI: Why you proud of that?

Also, round up, n*gga, round up

in public, sh*t!

RESHA: Is that Issa? Hey, Issa!

Resha! Hey!

- You look so good.
- Oh, you too!

I almost didn't recognize you

(CHUCKLES) outside of your smock.

You think the water looks cool?
It looks hella cold.

It looks real warm to me.

Say less. Y'all comin'?

Go! Woo!

I bet she doesn't even have

to learn how to swim with those.

She could just float.

That's Resha.

So, I just wanted to check in.

Are we cool?

Nothin's changed for me.

Okay...

so we're still friends?

Yep.

SUGE: Aye, the wait is over!

Ah, sh*t.

Man, what happened to the burgers

and the hot dogs you
was supposed to bring?

- I got all this mustard.
- I said I was bringin' food.

I ain't say nothin' about no barbecue.

Now take this Domino's, Nathaniel.

- (RUMBLING)
- (CAR ALARM SOUNDS)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (PEOPLE SCREAMING)

MAN: Oh, this a big one!

- You okay?
- Yeah, you?

I'm okay, too.

We made it. We're bonded for life now.

Why the f*ck would you drop the pizza?

- It was a earthquake.
- What's that gotta do with your hands?

- Yo, relax.
- LIFEGUARD: Please evacuate the beach.

We're shutting down
in case of a tsunami.

- Are you serious?
- Tsunami?

I can't be in another tsunami, y'all.

I basically d*ed.

LIFEGUARD: I repeat, please

- evacuate the beach.
- I did, too.

f*ck a tsunami. I'm
just gettin' started.

(LIFEGUARD CONTINUES, INDISTINCT)

(SHOUTS): Hold up, y'all! Y'all!

Let's hit a bar nearby!
Drinks on the shop!

Y'all wanna go somewhere else?

'Cause we don't have to go with them.

Um...

I'm still narrowin' it down.

These n*gg*s is neck-and-neck
to see me nekked.

- Let's go.
- Okay.

LIFEGUARD: Please evacuate the beach.

We're shutting down
in case of a tsunami.

(DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, real talk, I think I sensed that

earthquake before it hit.

I mean, I got chills,

- and then, five minutes later, boom.
- (PHONE BUZZING)

Oh, sh*t. Aye, you at lot right now?

Yeah, we had to leave 'cause...

yeah... yeah, that's my bad, man.

We rollin' to Sharkeez, though.

You should come through.

Aight, bet.

Hey, Nate, you think your girl's

homegirl was feelin' me?

Maybe. Ain't Johnny
tryin' to get at her?

Man, she wasn't staring at Johnny.

Them big, sexy eyes talkin'

all that sh*t with them sexy lips.

Damn. Wouldn't it be a trip if

I started datin' your girl's girl?

Not my girl.

- She all over the place.
- What you mean?

She basically called
me over last week...

to cuddle.

Did somebody die?

sh*t, I don't know.

We been friends over
the last year because

that's what she wanted,

and then, she pulled this sh*t.

Then she show up today,

legs all out, all oiled up,

talkin' about, "We still friends?"

Women always quick to friendzone you,

and then, want you to spoon 'em like

y'all been f*ckin', but you haven't.

Exactly! Haven't!

And then, she started crying.

- Wait, what?
- So, somebody did die.

I didn't wanna do that sh*t all night,

so I bounced.

Man, there must be a reason she felt

comfortable cryin' on you.

- What you mean?
- You do have that,

"Let me cry on your shoulder" energy.

You let her friendzone you, bro.

Man, she don't know what she want.

Bruh, she is rollin' to the next spot.

She wants somethin'.

And, trust me, it ain't no haircut.

Facts.

ARIC: Aye, I can't wait to shake

Molly's fine ass up.

Hit it from the back. Spin her around.

Give her a little part.

Get that scalp wet. Slap that neck.

Aight, okay.

♪ Rolling with a hottie
tottie in a new Ferrari ♪

♪ Smoking on biscotti might
just mix it with the gotti ♪

Ha ha, no.

See, I'm tellin' you.
That was no earthquake.

See, the government's tryin'
to test out they k*ll switches.

KELLI: Right!
But like, when the Earth was shakin'...

(PHONE CHIMES)

I was already shook.

ISSA: Are you f*ckin' kiddin' me?

Oh, girl, I am so hot right now,
I'm leakin'.

I had to step outside.

Right? Like, what the
f*ck? Now I'm a fraud?

You know this n*gga
was born in the Valley.

Suburbia n*gg*s. So,
what you want me to do?

You know I can buzz down on him.
I'm in the hive.

You know what? Don't
even worry about it.

We good over here, baby.

We on salary now, we gettin' money.

QUOIA: Girl, you right.

But you let me know

if you wanna start trippin'.

My bags stay packed... Oh.

Oh, sh*t.

ISSA: Okay, bye.

That's why I buy a new
phone every other week.

Switch it up. Shock the system.
Stay off the grid.

I call it the three S's.

I wish the fourth S was "silence."

KELLI: I know I didn't really die,

but it still made me wanna look inward.

And then, you know what I found out?

I got a Lotta sh*t goin' on inside.

- Ain't that part of the journey?
- KELLI: Mm-hm.

RESHA: It's like, at the end of the day,

don't we all just wanna be okay?

KELLI: You know what?
Those are good questions.

Oh, sh*t.

I got a podcast about questions.

You tryna be a guest?

RESHA: Ooh, I love existential sh*t.

Girl, I minored in philosophy
before beauty school,

so I stay askin'
questions and turnin' over stones.

- Even heavy ones.
- KELLI: Oh, sh*t, honey.

My papa was a rollin' stone.
I gotta unpack that.

(LAUGHING)

Hey, Resha. Quick question.

- RESHA: What's up?
- You f*ckin' Nathan?

What? Girl, no. That's like my brother.

My blood.

But I bet he could f*ck good.

Are you tryin' to smash?
'Cause I could set that up.

I'll circle back if I need you.

- Sounds good.
- KELLI: So, anyway, like

when my neighbor's cat d*ed,

it was like it, it was mine.

- You know what I mean?
- RESHA: I feel you.

KELLI: And I still see his ghost.

- RESHA: That's so deep.
- KELLI: You know what I'm sayin'?

And I'm just like, what does that mean?

If your p*ssy a ghost,

- is my p*ssy a ghost?
- RESHA: Wow.

KELLI: Like, put that together.
You know what I mean?

Do you journal?

- RESHA: I do. (EXCLAIMING)
- KELLI: You do?

♪ Get it, girl, get it, get it,

get it, girl, get it, girl ♪

♪ Diamante, Baby hairs lay ♪

♪ Money long,
long bitch I've been getting paid ♪

♪ Keep a big bag never
fold diamond yay... ♪

Ayeee! Ayeee! Ayeee!

- Oh, Johnny, you b*at us here.
- Sure did, bitch.

- (LAUGHS)
- Mm.

- Yo, you want a drink?
- I got her one.

You wanna stick with that weak drink,

or you want somethin' stronger?

Why n*gg*s gotta be so combative?

You know, that's another great pregunta.

Aye, we got sh*ts!

- (ALL CHEERING)
- Hell yeah!

One for all of us, none for Johnny.

- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah, yeah.

- You read my mind.
- I be tryin'.

("BACK THEN" BY MIKE
JONES PLAYING ON RADIO)

- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- Oh, sh*t!

Ah, sh*t! This that H-town mug.

- So, you requested this?
- Yup.

♪ Back then, hoes didn't want me ♪

♪ Now I'm hot, hoes all on me, I said ♪

♪ Back then, hoes didn't want me ♪

♪ Now I'm hot, hoes all on me ♪

So, um, about the other night.

I'm sorry if I made it weird.

- Nah...
- But why did you leave me like that?

Uh, well...

I mean, the taco trucks
was about to close.

What'd you want me to do, Iss?

I guess I just expected you
to be there when I woke up.

I ain't know we had
expectations for each other.

I probably shouldn't have kissed you.

That was my bad.

No, no. It's, it's my fault.

Uh, 'cause I shouldn't have
asked you to spend the night.

Well, then...

that's settled.

Ayeee!

(LAUGHS) Hey!

THOMAS: Shiiit!

Aye, y'all see Prison Bae over here?

- Can I get your autograph?
- (LAUGHING)

- Shut the f*ck up.
- He do look like him, though.

What's up, cousin?

Hey, Nathan.

Good to see you, Velma.

- Hi.
- Oh! Oh, sh*t, yeah.

This is my cousin, Thomas,

and this is, uh, this is his wife.

(ALL SAY HELLO)

Hey, sorry about the whole last-minute

- location change, man.
- Don't even trip.

Aye, you never know where a night

with Nate Dogg gon' take ya.

- Yeah.
- (LAUGHING)

Might end up on the back
of a milk carton. (LAUGHS)

(SOFTLY): That's funny.

Uh, yeah, so we just, you know,

chillin' here 'til we get our food,

we gon' get a real table.

How long are you guys in town?

Oh, we live in Lawndale.

Oh, you got family here?

How did I not know that?

Yeah, man, I,
I stayed with them for a minute,

before I moved in with Andrew.

How about we catch up to
y'all with them sh*ts?

(DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Houston people really
claim Paul Wall like that?

Hell yeah, we used to see Chamillionare

and him at the club all the time.

Yo, remember when we drove
to South By to see them?

And that one n*gga sold us
them t-shirts, but they said...

- BOTH: "Calamari-onaire."
- (LAUGHING)

That sounds delicious.

Every-f*ckin'-body was at that party.

There was like
after-parties in the parkin' lot.

- Wow!
- That was my whole college soundtrack.

I even got a grill 'cause of them,
but it didn't fit,

so I kind of just had to suck on it.

- Anyway, I know y'all had fun.
- We did...

until Nathan abandoned my ass.

Oh, sh*t. Here he go. I done
apologized for this so many times.

Wait, what happened?

This n*gga just ran off into the night.

He swore he was gonna
be their tour manager.

- I had to hitchhike home.
- Yeah, that sound like Nathan.

He be gone with the wind,

like a little light-skin leaf.

- Ooh.
- You do be wearin' leaf colors.

(LAUGHS) Look at
him! About to blow away.

- (BLOWS)
- (LAUGHING)

Well, I'm so glad the
wind blew him my way,

'cause I used to be all over the place,

but he inspired me to put down roots.

Turn me into a whole tree. (LAUGHS)

'Cause you had said leaf...
I was buildin'...

- It was an analogy...
- We got it.

Ah, sh*t. Jason Derulo's

havin' a party in Palos Verdes.

You f*ckin' lyin'.

(SINGS) Jason Derulo.

(LAUGHING)

You a fan of Derulo?

I'm a fan of parties.

So you tryna roll?

Damn, I wanna go,

but I gotta let my cat out.
You know how that is.

But you should come through.
Mr. Jingles is cool.

This n*gga focused on the wrong cat.

Hey, Aric... I'll roll with you.

- Bet.
- Hey, Kelli, we tryna go...

(CRYING) It is... It's time

to find the answers, you know?

Are y'all okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We good.

- Y'all go ahead.
- We're having a breakthrough, y'all.

I think we gonna need
some more taquitos.

More taquitos, please.

Okay.

Aye, aye, you should come.
It's gonna be like

minutes down the road.

Babe, you wanna go?

You know what?
You guys should just go and hang out.

- You sure?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm gonna go home, relieve the sitter.
You guys have fun.

Okay?

- Yeah, I'mma walk her out.
- Okay.

- Bye, everybody.
- (ALL SAY GOODBYE)

KELLI (CRYING): I had this dream,
and my Mom was in it,

and she was a hamster on a wheel, right?

And I ain't have no food, so I ate her.

So what does that mean?

You know, like my past is inside of me.

I don't know.

♪ ♪

- NATHAN: No!
- THOMAS: That's what I'm sayin'.

NATHAN: You didn't never win.

Nah, nah, nah.
You never, ever b*at me, bruh.

What?! I was givin' you the business

on the court every time.

You mean the summer
I broke my sh**t' arm?

I was sh**t' with my off hand!

Man, both your hands been off.

(LAUGHING)

Nah, I'm,
I'm glad we here kickin' it again, man.

Finally. Been a minute since

I felt like this was home.

Yeah, it's been too long.

- NATHAN: Yeah.
- (PHONE BUZZES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

THOMAS: You dribble with both hands.

You always double dribble.

NATHAN (LAUGHS): I
dribble with both hands.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

MOLLY: You got tattoos?

Okay, so what's this one mean?

The Chinese symbol for good d*ck.

Oh, okay.

(PHONE DINGS)

f*ck!

f*ck, I love this song.

(SINGS TO HERSELF)

I don't know the words, but...

("SENSITIVE" BY SERENA ISIOMA PLAYING)

♪ She got around,
now she's f*ckin' the whole squad ♪

♪ That p*ssy lookin'
like the sign of the cross on God ♪

♪ Leanin' to the side,
it's spillin' water ♪

♪ Smashed, then passed ♪

♪ f*ck n*gg*s,
always tryna take my sh*t ♪

Look, I know you said not
to bring people, man, but...

I brought people.

Is this gonna be a problem?

I ain't never been no problem, baby.

Bruh, bruh, bruh.

Hey, gimme one sec.

- He's workin' on it.
- He better work faster.

That's Derulo in there.

I'm tryna fight, tryna tussle.

Yo, this is Hollywood as sh*t.
We ain't gon' get in.

NATHAN: Aric know everybody.

We gettin' in, all right?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Girl, you good?

Yeah, just some work sh*t.

No big deal. I handled it.

Oh, okay.

Hey, listen, so,
I think Aric and I are a match, so...

- should I f*ck him?
- (LAUGHS) If you want to.

What that Nani say?

"It's a yes from me, dawg."

(LAUGHING)

- Oh, here he come.
- MOLLY: Ooh.

- Aye, yo, the party's at capacity.
- No!

ARIC: And I can only get one person in,
so...

- Molly.
- MOLLY: Oh.

Um, I'll try and sneak
you in from the back.

- Girl, I'll text you.
- Okay.

(SINGS) Jason Derulo.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Girl, I can't believe we've
been standin' in this line

for over an hour.

And my camel toe is kickin'.

How y'all feelin'?
I mean, if this don't work out,

I heard Sharkeez still poppin'.

Wait, Molly found a door.

She said come around back,
but hurry because Jason

just started doin' close-up magic.

Oh, I sure as sh*t ain't missin' that.

ISSA: Wait, Moe! Moe!

Thomas!

Thomas!

- You comin'?
- I think I'mma head home.

My Lyft will be here in a few minutes.

Lyft? When you order a Lyft?

When your boy started

tearin' up over not gettin' in.

(LAUGHS)

Well, I mean, I ain't gonna abandon you.

If that's what you're worried about.

No, man. I'm old now.

I don't have your energy.

Aight. I know Velma got
you on a tight leash.

Nah, she wanted me to come out.

- She happy we hangin' again.
- You ain't gotta cover for her.

- I know she don't f*ck with me.
- No, Velma loves you, man.

That's why she kicked me out?

- No place to go.
- Come on, man.

I'm lyin'?

That wasn't on Velma.

What you mean?

Look,
we don't have to get into this tonight.

Nah, I mean, we in it, bro.

To be honest...

I'm the one who didn't feel

comfortable havin' you around.

I mean, you showed up
with practically no warnin'.

Then you'd be gone for days on end,

or come home in the middle of the night.

You'd leave the door unlocked.

I got kids, man.

That ain't me no more, man.

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry I didn't tell you straight-up.
I just...

didn't really know how to handle it,
or what to say.

And Velma thought it'd be
easier if we just put it on her.

I gotta go. We should keep talkin'.

I'll call you, okay?

Oh, he left?

Well, Molly's gettin' us in.

Oh, Moe's inside already, obviously.

Uh, yeah, I need a minute.

Oh... okay.

(DOWN-b*at MUSIC PLAYING)

You okay?

I was manic when I lived with them.

And I ain't know it at the time.

And you haven't told him yet?

Nah, I ain't talked to
them since I moved out.

I just wanted him to see
I got my life together.

But f*ck it.

Can't change how nobody see me.

Yeah.

I get that.

Can't change how you see me either.

What? Me?

Me crying wasn't about you.

It caught me off guard, too.

I guess I was just overwhelmed.

Last year was a lot for me.

And now, I feel like I'm just always

waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I'm scared to get my hopes up.

And I...

I know I've been afraid to admit it

because I don't
wanna look stupid, but...

I don't wanna just be friends with you.

I don't wanna be
friends with you either.

- (RUMBLING)
- (CAR ALARM SOUNDS)

- You felt that?
- Yeah, I felt that.

Woman (SHOUTS): Earthquake!

(LAUGHING)

("MANGO" BY KAMAUU PLAYING)

♪ Hey, ho ♪

♪ Hee ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ If you found some other dude ♪

♪ What do I do ♪

♪ If he loves you truly, yeah ♪

♪ How could I not love him, too ♪

♪ If he improves you ♪

♪ More than I used to, hey ♪

♪ I don't want nothing but you ♪

♪ Gettin' what you need ♪

♪ Even if it ain't from me ♪

♪ 'Cause I love you and what love is ♪

♪ Never selfish and of service ♪

♪ 'Cause I love you and what love is ♪

♪ Never selfish ♪

♪ And on purpose ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey, ooh ♪

♪ Hey, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Hey, ooh ♪

♪ Say, it's good to be, yeah ♪

♪ ♪

(DYNAMIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Are you coming in today?

I told my assistant I was
having some personal stuff.

♪

Hi.

How is she?

♪

Oh.

Yeah, Molly can't make it.

We just would have to keep hanging out.

Let me... Let me just call her.

Hi, what you doing?

Reading a book?
What y'all reading there?

(LAUGHING)

♪

♪