01x02 - F Sharp

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Yellowjackets...

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

We're going to m*therf*cking nationals!

[BERZONSKY] All I know is that
what happened was a tragedy.

Those girls were special.

Hustle up. It's gonna be a long flight.

- They were champions.
- I f*cking love you, Jackie.

[JACKIE] If we're each other's first,

- then we'll be linked forever.
- Jeff's a virgin?

Shauna Shipman.

You're the only one who's
always been there for me.

[SHAUNA] Jeff, pull over.

I thought we weren't doing this again.

[SHAUNA] Tell me you love me.

[JEFF] I love you, Shauna.

[SHAUNA] The plane crashed.
A bunch of my friends d*ed,

and the rest of us starved and
scavenged and prayed for months

until they finally found us.

[TAISSA] I'm Taissa Turner,

and as State Senator, I
want to lead New Jersey

out of the wilderness.

We agreed.

Stay out of the public eye.

Have you talked to Nat?

[TAISSA] She's in rehab, again.

[NATALIE] After they rescued us, I...

I lost my purpose.

I finally know how to get it back.

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

Buzz! Buzz!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[ENGINE WHIRRING LOUDER]

- [YELLING]
- [CLATTERING]

[ENGINE WHIRRING]

[YELLING]

[MUFFLED SCREAM]

The Lord is my shepherd,
and even though I walk

through the valley of
the shadow of death...

[SCREAMING]

[SOBBING]

[TEAM WHIMPERING, CRYING]

[SCREAMING]

We'll reset after seconds. Confirm.

- out. Speed brake!
- Speed brake.

- Dump fuel.
- [PHONE RINGING]

Dumping fuel!

[PHONE RINGING]

♪ Except for you ♪

♪ Don't ever let anyone
step all over you ♪

♪ Just open your heart... ♪

Hello?

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

- _
- [BECKY] Misty! Oh, my gosh. Hi.

[SIGHS] What do you want, Becky?

Sorry. I'm sure you're, like, so busy.

We just thought you should
know that Robbie Delgado...

he's telling everybody you two
did a**l in the janitor's closet.

[GIRLS LAUGHING]

Well, for your information,

I've never even been
in the janitor's closet.

So where'd you guys do it then?

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

I didn't...

I didn't do a**l with Robbie Delgado.

[BECKY LAUGHS]

But you've done it with somebody else.

Do you, like, love a**l?

No. No, I... I've never...

You know what I think?

I think you wish someone
would do a**l to you, Misty.

Only, you're too ugly
to, like, find a victim.

[LAUGHTER]

[GIRL] Ah. Mm.

[SNIFFLES] You can think what you want.

Opinion is the wilderness

between knowledge and ignorance.

That's Plato.

[BECKY] Oh, my gosh.

You're such a f*cking weirdo.

[LAUGHTER]

- [CLICK]
- [DIAL TONE]

♪ Until then, baby... ♪

[BREATHING RAPIDLY]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[GIRLS CRYING]

[GROANING, YELLING]

[GIRLS WAILING]

[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]

[CRYING CONTINUES]

Come on.

[SCREAMING]

[GIRL YELLING]

- Come on.
- Come on. Go.

[YELLING]

[GROANING]

[SOBBING] Please, God.

Push it out! Push it out!

[YELLING]

Shauna. Shauna, get the f*ck up!

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

Push! Push! Come on,
come on. Go, go, go!

- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
- [ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]

[VAN] Help! Help, help!

Help. Help me, help me, help me.

- [SHAUNA] It's Van.
- I'm stuck!

- We have to help her.
- I can't breathe!

- I'm coming, Van!
- Help me! Help me!

- Help me! [GRUNTING]
- I'm coming.

- [GRUNTS]
- Come on. Oh, God.

It's stuck.

I can't get out! Can't get out.

[SCREAMING]

- Hurry up!
- Oh, my God!

[JACKIE] Shauna, we got to go.

- We got to go.
- [COUGHING]

- Shauna, we have to go!
- Shauna! No!

Shauna!

[DISTANT SCREAMING]

[EERIE, SOLEMN MUSIC]

[DISTANT SCREAMING]

[DISTANT SCREAMING]

[EERIE VOCALIZING]

We have to go back inside!

[expl*si*n, GLASS SHATTERING]

- Have you seen Van?
- Sorry.

Has anybody seen... ? Have you seen Van?

Have you? Van?

- [COUGHING]
- [TAISSA] Van?

[BEN] Help!

Coach Scott.

[GROANS]

[COUGHING]

Coach Scott!

- [COUGHS]
- [DISTANT SCREAMS]

[BEN] Help!

I'm coming!

- [BEN GROANS]
- Coming. Oh!

[GROANS]

Coming! Coach. Coach!

[GROANS]

Let me see.

[BEN GROANS]

- Hey, girls, is it, uh... ?
- [GIRL] Yeah?

Can you move it?

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Here. Come on. Come on.

- Come on.
- Okay.

Okay. Okay.

[ALL GROANING]

Oh, f*cking God! [WHIMPERS]

[RETCHES]

[PANTING]

Coach?

- Coach!
- Coach? Coach?

Shauna, please. There's
nothing we could do.

Jesus.

Coach.

Surprise.

Van.

- Van!
- [GASPS] Ty.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[BLOOD SLOSHES]

- [GASPING]
- [CLAMORING]

What the f*ck?

[PANTING]

[GRUNTS]

Help me move him!

♪ I'm hungry, I'm dirty ♪

♪ I'm losing my mind,
everything's fine! ♪

- [PIANO PLAYING]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[MISTY] Bubble baths.

Walks in the rain.

Muscular calves. [CHUCKLES]

Escalators.

Knuckles. Steamed clams.

Obviously. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

But enough about me.

What turns you on, Stan?

Oh. Uh...

I don't know, just, uh...

the usual stuff.

Hair?

Oh. Well.

I can work with that. [CHUCKLES]

- Another Rioja, hon?
- No, that's, uh...

- That'd be great.
- It's just,

I have to be up kind
of early tomorrow, so...

I... it's six o'clock.

And I thought you said
that you just got fired.

Well, technically I
said there were some...

intradepartmental redundancies
post-merger, so, you know,

I wasn't really fired
so much as it's, uh...

What the hell?

I suppose one more drink won't k*ll me.

And did we want to take
a look at some menus?

Oh, I think just...

I honestly don't see how we couldn't.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Like this, got it?

As much as you can and fast.

We're gonna need to
change the bandages soon.

And then hourly after that.

- If he even lives that long.
- Don't say that.

Just... [CHUCKLES] just, uh,
keep ripping them up. Okay?

Yeah. Good, good, good.

Ow. Watch it.

Hold still, then.

No, no, no. It's...
it's too loose, here.

[WINCES] f*ck.

You need to... stop the bleeding

without cutting off the circulation.

How do you know how to do all this?

I took the Red Cross
babysitter training class.

Twice.

Okay.

Okay. [GRUNTS]

All right, bleeding's slowing down.

We need to disinfect it somehow.

Um, maybe something from the bar cart?

There wasn't one.

I mean, it was just soda.
It's cheaper that way.

Maybe somebody brought contraband.

Okay. Wow.

Well, did you?

Obviously.

[SIGHS] But I stashed it in my bag,

and God knows where that is now.

Guys, how about this?

[JACKIE] Hey, that's m... Uh...

A great idea, Van.

Witch hazel, isopropyl alcohol.

Actually, this could work. Okay.

- [SCREAMING]
- Lie back. Lie back.

Lie back.

- Lie back. Lie back.
- [BEN] Oh, Jesus!

f*ck, my leg!

[GRUNTING]

Oh, f*ck!

Is it bad?

How bad is it?

Well, the good news is I...

You're gonna be fine, Coach.

You got pretty banged up, but
Misty's doing a really good job.

Right, Misty?

We have to tell him.

[WHISPERS] And freak him out worse?

Are you really that psyched
to tell him you chopped

his f*cking leg off with an axe?

[LINE RINGING]

- [CALLIE] Yeah?
- Hey. It's me.

Yeah. I know. Do you not
know how cell phones work?

- Are you home?
- Maybe.

Oh, do you not know
how being home works?

What do you want, Mom?

I just realized I forgot
to defrost the chuck.

Literally, what are
you even talking about?

For dinner tomorrow. Can you just...

take it out of the freezer, please?

Fine, okay. What does it look like?

Like a little refrigerator

on top of the big
refrigerator. It's meat, Callie.

It looks like frozen meat.

Ah, f*ck!

Callie...

I have to go. Sorry.

Who taught you how to drive?

- Are you okay?
- No, actually, I'm not.

Because you, sir, are a f*cking assh*le.

[CHUCKLES] Wow.

You know, usually it takes
people at least a few minutes

of conversation to figure that out.

You're good.

What is, what is this?

Adorable?

Are you trying to be adorable with me?

Does that usually work for you?

You know what, this...

this is not my fault, okay?

Because you can't just
stop without warning.

It is... it's crazy!

Look, I'm honestly not
sure what to do here.

Because, A, you rear-ended me,

so technically this is your fault.

And B, that's literally
what taillights are for.

How do you know your
taillights aren't out?

Are they?

That's not the point. I...

[CHUCKLES] You are so mad.

And yet so wrong.

Look, you clearly took
the worst of it here.

We probably don't need to
get our insurance involved.

Oh, God. Really?

You got a pen?

- A pen?
- Well, I figured

if I asked for your phone I
might end up in the hospital.

Oh. Okay, um...

[MAN CLEARS THROAT]

Here you go.

That's the number of a body shop.

I know a good guy there.

He owes me a favor.

Just give him a call.

He'll take care of you, okay?

[SHAUNA] Oh, okay.

I'm Adam, by the way.

Shauna.

[OKADA] So tell me, kids.

How's the sex?

Yeah, I...

we've just, um...

we've both been very busy...

- Yeah.
- ... recently.

And Jeff's had a lot of... late nights,

- um, at work...
- Yeah, we've been having

a lot of problems with
the inventory database.

[SNIFFLES] Back at the store.

Right. Well, I've said it
before and I'll say it again.

Marriage lives up here, dies down here.

That's quite the catchphrase.

[OKADA] I want to assign you two

some real homework this week.

Not only are you gonna have sex,

but I want you to share a fantasy

with each other... something
you've never shared before.

- No...
- Awesome.

[OKADA] I know you've been
together a very long time.

But that is all the more
reason to try something new.

Just trust me.

You may find...

you can still surprise each other.

[INSECTS TRILLING]

[MISTY] Well, this is me.

Thanks for the ride home. I, uh...

I can't believe my car wouldn't start.

Just one of those
things, I guess, so weird.

Well, this... this... this was, uh...

Do you want to come inside? Um...

You could meet Caligula.

Um...

[INHALES SHARPLY]

Oh. I see.

It's because you think I'm ugly.

What?

God, Misty, you're so stupid.

I...

I think you're...

- y... you're very...
- [CHUCKLES]

If you thought I was
pretty, you'd come inside.

So, is it just, uh, the one bird, or...

[CHUCKLES] Stan, you're so funny.

Now, Caligula is a
little protective of me,

but it's all for show.

He's a total sweetheart, really.

But do shield your eyes
if he comes at your face.

What?

Hello, Misty.

You crazy f*cking bitch.

Okay, yeah. I'm out of here.

Hey, Nat.

It's been a while.

Yeah.

You haven't changed.

I take it you know why I'm here.

The postcard.

Yeah.

The f*cking postcard.

So what does it mean?

You tell me.

Oh. You think...

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Hold that thought.

I didn't send it, silly.

See? I got one, too.

It came in the mail about a week ago.

It's from an online app, so the postmark

on the envelope is useless.

How do I know you didn't
send it to yourself?

Well, I could ask you
the same thing, so...

I guess we'll just have
to believe each other.

So who's next on your suspect list?

I have a lot of theories,
but do you want to go first?

Oh! Do you want something to drink?

I've got tea, I've got coconut La Croix,

I have sherry in the cupboard.

[EXHALES]

I'm gonna need something a
little stronger than that.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Oh, you got me a drink.

I can't believe I've
never been here before.

It's so, um... so edgy.

- [CHUCKLES]
- So what have you got?

Oh.

Well, if I've learned anything

in the citizen detective community...

- The what?
- Citizen detective.

We're like, um, we're
like private investigators,

except for no one hired
us or asked for our help.

We work together online
to solve cold cases.

Disappearances, murders. It's super fun.

So I've been asking myself,

"What does the person who
sent these postcards want?"

To scare us, to mess with our heads.

Make us think about...

what happened out there.

It's obviously a thr*at.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Who's Jessica Roberts?

She claims to be a reporter,
but I think that's a lie.

She's been nosing around.

She claims she has a book deal, but...

Well, how could she know about... ?

You know.

Maybe somebody talked.

[ROCK SONG CONTINUES PLAYING]

[LOW, GENTLE MUSIC]

You found Travis?

Oh... yeah.

Talk about someone who
didn't want to be found.

[BARTENDER] Here you go, ladies.

From the gentleman in the back.
Says it's your drink of choice.

Hey.

Hi.

Wow.

It really is you.

Hi!

- Hey. I'm, um...
- [MISTY] Kevyn.

It's Misty. Misty Quigley.
From third period Spanish.

Misty, right. Of course.

Man.

Natalie.

[CHUCKLES]

It's nice to see you.

[KEVYN] Yeah. Yeah, you, too.

Sorry, is this a, is this a bad time?

You in the middle of something?

- Mm-hmm.
- [KEVYN] Right.

Got it.

[INHALES SHARPLY] Well, uh...

I don't know how long you're
in town for, but just in case,

I'll leave this.

If you maybe want to maybe get a drink

another years from now,

you'll know how to reach me.

Mm-hmm.

All right.

Dang. If somebody had told me

that's how goth freak
Kevyn Tan would grow up...

Didn't you two used to be friends?

Best friends.

So you sure this is him?

Travis?

Yeah.

I don't know.

[MISTY] It's gonna hurt for a second.

Ready? One, two, three.

Arm through. You got it.
You got it. Come on, come on,

- come on, you got it.
- Man, Misty is awesome.

Dad?

f*ck. Javi!

- Dad?
- Go find Travis.

Now. Javi, stop!

sh*t.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Travis, hey.

Your brother's trying
to get back on the plane.

I think he's looking for your dad.

The door ripped open
when we were going down.

He was trying to help one of you idiots

put on an oxygen mask, and, uh...

he fell out.

[NATALIE] Yeah, well, that...

f*cking sucks, but...

your brother's still here, so...

... maybe you should go help him.

Well, maybe you should mind
your own f*cking business, hmm?

[WATER RUNNING]

I come bearing gifts. You're welcome.

Yes! Rumba's!

So this is your move?

You think you can miss the
parent-teacher conference

and just buy us off with picadillo?

Oh, I know I can buy off Sammy.

With you it's more like cross
my fingers, hope for the best.

Well, we already ate
at, you know, dinnertime.

Which is why I got the
sandwiches for lunch tomorrow.

- And the...
- Pastelitos!

Pastelitos! For dessert.

I am sorry.

g*dd*mn strategy meetings.

So, how was it?

Did I miss anything big?

Uh, hey, kiddo.

Why don't you and Manny
take one of those pastelitos

and go watch some TV?

Uh-oh. That can't be a good sign.

His teacher's concerned.

She says he's having a
hard time making friends.

- That's it?
- Yeah.

Do we know for sure the
other kids don't suck?

- Ty.
- I'm kidding.

- Obviously.
- I know.

But, I mean, I was kind of
a loner when I was his age.

There's nothing wrong with
a little self-reliance.

I should have been there.

But you really think there's
something to worry about here?

- [TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
- Maybe.

- [MAN ON TV] I call it...
- I don't know.

Maybe putting him in
public school was a mistake.

No, no. Education is the
cornerstone of your platform,

and you are right.

If everybody who can just
bails on the public system...

What you're doing is
important, Ty. It matters.

What we're doing.

It's just been an
adjustment, that's all.

I'm used to you being there.

I'm always here.

[WOMEN VOCALIZING EERILY]

[JEFF SNIFFLES]

[SHAUNA CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY]

I hate these buttons.

Oh, m*therf*cker.

Need a little help over there?

What, am I not
surprising you with how...

sexy this is?

You know, I was thinking...

[CLEARS THROAT]

... you know, about what the, uh,

the therapist said earlier today,

with the whole... fantasy thing?

Yeah?

Yeah. I was... you
know, I was just thinking

maybe it... it could
be kind of hot if, uh,

you pretended to be a
customer at the store.

All right, your fantasy is

for me to pretend to buy furniture?

[GROANS]

- It's dumb.
- No. No, no, no.

- Hey.
- I don't know.

It's not. It's not dumb.

It's, um...

It's great.

- Let's try it.
- Yeah?

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

- All right.
- Okay.

All right.

I... You know, I think I
should leave my clothes on,

'cause I don't think I would
go shopping without them.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Oh, I'll, uh, meet you halfway.

- Then we can... Yeah.
- Yeah.

Oh. Oh, okay.

[SHAUNA CLEARS THROAT]

Uh...

[SHAUNA CLEARS THROAT]

Pardon me. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

- Okay. No. No, that's...
- Just,

I'm gonna do something different. Okay.

[SHAUNA CLEARS THROAT]

[WITH BRITISH ACCENT] Excuse me, sir.

[SIGHS] I just can't do it.

Nah, you're doing great.
Maybe I should start.

- Yes.
- All right.

You... Mm-hmm.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hi.

I, uh, I couldn't help but notice

that you were eyeing
this credenza over here.

I'm the owner.

Hank.

I'm... Tabitha.

Well, it's a real pleasure to meet you.

Is there anything special

that I can help you with today, Tabitha?

[BRITISH ACCENT] Actually, yes.

I'm... here to make a return.

Why would you be returning something?

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Well...
Well, I don't know.

- Not as, like a...
- [SIGHS]

I don't know. Just a...

[SHAUNA EXHALES LOUDLY]

[BRITISH ACCENT] My... my armoire.

It's too big. I should
have taken measurements.

Are you making fun of me?

[IN NORMAL VOICE] No. I'm not m...

I'm trying to...

I... [SIGHS]

I just feel a little stupid.

- Right.
- Jeff.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Do you not think it's a
bit weird? It's, like...

What is this?

Nothing.

Just, I... I got into a
fender bender this afternoon,

and it was not a big deal.

We exchanged information,

- so it's just his...
- So, wait, wait, wait. You...

You got in an accident today?

And you're just mentioning that now?

How bad was it, Shauna?

Like I just said, it was not a big deal.

[JEFF SIGHS]

- I'm fine, by the way.
- I can see you're fine.

[INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY]

[BRITISH ACCENT] How about that armoire?

It's... not working.

No sh*t.

[DOOR OPENS]

Oh, my God. Where are you going?

I'm just gonna jerk off, watch
some SportsCenter before bed.

[JACKIE] She hates me now.

[BIRDS SINGING]

Maybe just give her some time.

[JACKIE] For the record,

I was trying to save you.

I thought that...

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Yeah.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[PANTING] Oh, wait.

Oh, where's the other one?
They're supposed to be together.

[PANTING]

Ah!

Oh. Oh.

Is this it?

[PANTING]

[GIRL GROANS]

[SCREAMS]

Let's go.

[JARRING, EERIE MUSIC]

Dad! Dad!

- Javi, Javi, Javi, come here.
- Dad?

- Please.
- [CRYING]

- It's Dad.
- Javi, Javi, Javi. Yeah.

Holy macaroni, is... is that... ?

He's got to be dead, right?

[WHISPERING] What the f*ck?

[JACKIE] Don't look. Don't look.

Okay, who has the best arm?

- What?
- I do, Jackie.

- What?
- Thinking we could...

try and throw things at
him and see if he moves.

You want to throw rocks at Coach
who fell out of a f*cking plane?

I didn't say rocks.
Someone's shoe or whatever.

Oh, yeah, that's a f*ck-ton smarter.

You're on fire today, Jackie.

Oh, wait. That was
supposed to be me, huh?

- What?
- [SHAUNA] Okay, guys, stop it.

We need a plan here.

We could lower him with ropes?

Vines, then? I don't know.

f*ck's sake, Laura Lee, we're not gonna

- Tarzan him out of a tree.
- Oh...

- You got a better idea?
- [NATALIE] Than shoes and vines?

Sure. Let's just cut
the f*cking tree down.

Dad? Dad!

- No, don't!
- Travis, Travis, Travis!

Travis!

Hey, what the f*ck, Javi? Here.

- Come here. Come here.
- Come on. Come down.

- Let him go!
- Come back down!

This is all I could find, okay? So just

grab a corner and if
somebody falls on it.

- Travis, grab the...
- Travis.

- Travis.
- Stop.

- [JACKIE] Just come down.
- [OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

Okay.

Okay. Tie those down.

[INDISTINCT, OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

Dad?

[PANTING]

Dad?

[LOUD, WHEEZY PANTING]

[EERIE, DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[GRUNTS]

[LOUD WOODEN CREAK]

[TRAVIS PANTING LOUDLY]

- [GRUNTS]
- [WOOD CRACKING]

- Travis, get back!
- Get back!

[WHIMPERING]

[GASPING, WHIMPERING]

[WOMEN VOCALIZING EERILY]

[TRAVIS COUGHS]

- [SIGHS]
- [KNOCKING]

[DOOR OPENS]

So, the prince would
like you to read to him.

Apparently, you're better at the voices.

[CHUCKLES] Tell me
he's opened his shades.

No, still refusing to.

It's like Dracula's crypt in there.

[LAUGHS] Just as... [LAUGHING]

All right, I'm going.
I'm going. Let's go.

Scooch. [SIGHS]

I'm sick of reading.

Since when?

You want to go to the park?

No.

- Why not?
- No friends.

[DISTANT BARKING]

I'm your friend, Sammy.

[CLICKS TONGUE] Hey,
hold that up. Mm-hmm.

Ah.

Okay, let's see if you can get this.

- Ah?
- A bunny?

[CHUCKLES] That's right.

Um, how about...

this?

A snail?

Oh. [SNIFFLES] You are good.

Um, oh, oh, you will never get this one.

[EERIE VOCALIZING]

- [GROWLING]
- [GASPS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Mom?

[CHUCKLES] Oh.

Um, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um,
you know what? Let's-let's...

Let's go take a walk around the block.

You can take your scooter.

Why did you do this?

Answer me.

[EERIE MUSIC]

So she can't see me.

Who?

The lady in the tree.

She watches me at night.

Look at me and tell me what you mean.

I just did.

Sammy.

[SINGSONGY] Sammy, Sammy, Sammy.

[PHONE RINGING]

Yeah?

[ADAM] Hi.

Um, I'm sorry. Who is this?

[CHUCKLES] Wow.

I guess I didn't make
much of an impression.

[DRILLING OVER PHONE]

Oh. Okay.

I guess you've been
thinking about what you did,

and you just can't live with yourself?

Do you not do "Hello"?

Hello, Guy Who Stopped Short.

Oh, hey, there, Rear-Ender.

Okay, I heard it.

I'll get to the point.

You never called the
shop about your fender.

How do you know that?

'Cause I'm the guy who works there.

I thought the surprise
might be... adorable?

Oh, if you must know, I... I...

I just can't afford
something like that right now.

You can't afford free?

Wait. Are you serious?

Yeah. If you have dinner with me.

What, no clever comeback?

No, thank you. No, thanks.

Look, Adam...

My actual name? That's a good start.

I... I just can't.

I'm sorry.

No, um, I'm the sorry one.

I just thought...

What?

Well, you seemed like someone who
doesn't play by the rules, Shauna.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm an idiot.

Um, just forget it.

Enjoy the rest of your... minivan.

[CLICK]

[DISTANT BARKING]

[EERIE, DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[DRAMATIC VOCALIZING]

[SLOW, SOLEMN MUSIC]

Here.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

["KICK IT" BY PEACHES PLAYING]

[COUGHS]

♪ How do you do that cool dance? ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ Baby, don't split those hot pants ♪

♪ I got these moves that
we can do to and sing ♪

♪ I don't look too good in pink ♪

[DIALING]

♪ I used to slash myself up ♪

[LINE RINGING]

♪ I like to play it tough... ♪

[MAN] Hello?

Travis?

♪ Bottles breaking rough ♪

♪ You got to handle that stuff... ♪

I'm sorry. I think you
have the wrong number.

[CLICK]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Tear it up, rip it up, kick it up ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Tear it up, rip it up, kick it up ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Make your way to Berlin ♪

[JEFF] I just wanted to be like, "Dude,

of course it's cheap construction.

You bought a $ sofa made
by blind kids in Bangladesh.

What-what are you expecting, man?

I mean, Altamura leather?

Mortise and tenon joints?"

I'm sorry if I'm interrupting you two

completely not giving a sh*t.

Jeff.

- So you are listening?
- Of course we're listening. Yes.

Callie, can you... ?

Anything new in school?

Nope.

This chili is really good tonight.

It's really good.

New recipe?

[SOLEMN, EERIE MUSIC]

Actually, it is.

Callie forgot to take the
meat out of the freezer,

so I k*lled a rabbit in the garden.

Skinned it chin to anus...

[CALLIE] Jesus Christ, Mom.

[JEFF] Okay, you're in a mood.

[CALLIE LAUGHS]

[CALLIE] You are so freaking weird.

["GLORY BOX" BY PORTISHEAD]

♪ I'm so tired ♪

♪ Of playing ♪

♪ Playing with this bow and arrow ♪

♪ Gonna give my heart away ♪

♪ Leave it to the other girls ♪

♪ To play ♪

♪ For I've been a temptress ♪

♪ Too long ♪

♪ Just give me a reason ♪

♪ To love you ♪

♪ Give me a reason ♪

♪ To be ♪

♪ A woman ♪

♪ I just want to be a woman ♪

♪ From this time, unchained ♪

♪ We're all looking at
a different picture ♪

♪ Through this new frame of mine ♪

♪ A thousand flowers... ♪

I'm sure the plane has
an emergency transmitter

sending out a distress signal.

They'll be here to rescue us by morning.

♪ And give us some room, yeah ♪

♪ Give me a reason... ♪

Still...

maybe we should conserve some food?

In case they don't get
here till later in the day?

♪ To be... ♪

You want to save the CornNuts?

♪ I just want to be a woman... ♪

Mari, you okay?

Looks like you did Allie a
big favor by breaking her leg.

♪ Sow ♪

♪ A little ten, tenderness ♪

♪ No matter if you cry... ♪

[WHIRRING]

I'm in the market for a new bed.

What?

Something... king-sized?

Oh, yeah?

Damn it, Shauna. [CHUCKLES]

What about Callie?

She's at Kyle's.

So, um,

you should know,

my new bed needs to be really sturdy,

so, we should probably...

test a few options.

Mm.

[JEFF] Mmm.

Mmm.

[BIRD CALLING]

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

You okay, Laura Lee?

This is all my fault.

I did something really bad.

I kept screwing up in my
piano lesson last week.

Mrs. Brophy kept yelling at me.

"Sharp. F sharp. F sharp."

[LAURA LEE SNIFFLES]

I just... I couldn't take it anymore.

So I called her a bad word.

[LAURA LEE SNIFFLES]

Just in my head, but...

God heard me.

[BIRD HOOTING]

Now we're all being punished.

What did you call her?

[WHISPERS] c**t.

[MUFFLED LAUGH]

[SOFT LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

[CACKLING]

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I steal shitty clothes from T.J. Maxx.

- What?
- I return them,

and I get credit that
I never use, and I have

thousands of dollars in T.J. bucks.

- [LAUGHTER]
- What? Really?

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I, uh...

I used to sneak downstairs
after everybody had gone to bed

and watch the Color of Night

so I could pause it
on Bruce Willis's wang.

[LAUGHTER]

That is definitely why we crashed.

- [LAUGHTER]
- [JACKIE] I mean,

Jeff's not bad, but damn.

- Right?
- [LAUGHTER]

[DISTANT LAUGHTER]

[VAN] That's so funny.

Hmm. Mm.

[PANTING SOFTLY]

Misty.

Your leg is gone.

I chopped it off.

What?

I saved your life.

- No. No.
- But you're not out of the woods yet.

No. No, that's not...

It's imposs... [PANTING]

- [LAUGHTER]
- What about you, Shipman?

Any secrets big enough
to crash a g*dd*mn plane?

Um...

[BEN SCREAMING]

- [SCREAMING]
- [HISSING]

[WOMEN VOCALIZING EERILY]

What the f*ck, Misty?

I had to stop the bleeding for good.

[SIGHS]

Well, thank you for
shopping with us, Tabitha.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Mmm.

You're welcome. [CHUCKLES]

Mmm. I'm gonna take a quick shower.

- Okay. Great.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

You were just kidding about
the rabbit thing, right?

- Huh?
- Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

- It's chicken. [CHUCKLES]
- Obviously.

Oh. [WHOOPS]

[CURTAIN RATTLES]

- [FAUCET SQUEAKS]
- [WATER RUNNING]

[PHONE BUZZING]

[SOLEMN, SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪

[LAURA LEE] I didn't know
Misty was capable of that.

[VAN] No, no. I don't know how
Misty knows half of that sh*t,

but honestly, thank God.

Sorry. I just...

We would be so completely
f*cked if she wasn't here.

♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪

[PEEING]

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

[CAR ALARM CHIRPS]

[SOFT GRUNT]

[ENGINE GRINDS]

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

[CAR ENGINE GRINDS, CLACKS]

[SIGHS]

[CAR HORN TOOTS]

Everything okay?

I was getting coffee,
and I... and I saw you.

[SIGHS] Engine trouble?

[EERIE, SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Looks like it.

You going someplace?

Well, I'm off today and tomorrow, too.

[CHUCKLES] Just saying.

Where you going?

I was actually thinking of
taking a little trip up north.

To see Travis?

Oh... [SIGHS] But your car.

[MISTY SIGHS]

Well... [EXHALES]

I had some errands to run, but,
um, but you know, I could...

I could take you up there if you wanted.

It could be like a road trip.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Fine. But I'm driving.

Do you prefer podcasts or showtunes?

[ENGINE REVS]

- [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO]
- Why'd you buy two?

Oh, I always get two of things.

That way, I'll have some to share.

Like candy bars and sandwiches,
New York style pretzels.

Uh, calzones from the stromboli place,

those raspberry
lemonades from Michael's.

Everybody loves those.

Good pumpernickel from the bagelry.

- [ENGINE REVVING]
- [TIRES SQUEALING]

♪ Don't ever let anyone
step all over you ♪

♪ Just open your heart and your mind ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ Is it really fair to feel ♪

♪ This way inside? ♪

- ♪ Whoa ♪
- [GRUNTING, PANTING]

♪ Someday somebody's
gonna make you want ♪

♪ To turn around and say goodbye ♪

♪ Until then, baby,
are you gonna let 'em ♪

♪ Hold you down and make you cry? ♪

♪ Don't you know ♪

♪ Don't you know things can change? ♪

- [GROANS]
- ♪ Things will go your way ♪

♪ If you hold on ♪

♪ For one more day ♪

♪ Can you hold on for one... ♪

[GROANS, GASPS]

[GASPING]

[THUDDING]

[PANTING]

[PULSING, BUZZING MUSIC PLAYS]

[VOCALIZING JOINS MUSIC]