03x20 - Surf's Up

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)

(SLURPING)

(LIGHTSABERS BUZZ)

(expl*si*n)

Twitmeister.

Twitarama.

Yo, Twitty, dude.

Ah, dude!

What's up, man? How you been?

Awesome. What's going on?

ZACK: Hey, listen, tomorrow we're all
heading up to Troubadour Point.

You want to come board out with us?

Yeah, dude, I'll be there.
Right on.

-Thanks, man.
-Thanks, bro.

Spring break, buddy.

Yes, sir. Spring break.
Approaching fast, huh?

Yeah.

So, uh, what did Zack
want to talk about, man?

Oh, nothing.
He just invited me to go surfing.

Oh, yeah? Nice of him.
That's so nice.

So, when did you start hanging out
with him and his friends, man?

Last spring break I went surfing with him.

You know, when your dad made you go
to that temper-tantrum workshop.

You listen here!

I express myself appropriately now!

All you people... !

(CHUCKLES)

Right. Yeah, so anyways,
it should be fun.

Yeah.

Well, then I'm in.

Do you actually know how to surf?

I have the reflexes of a cat

and the dexterity of a jeweler.

And...

I can open my eyes underwater.

Huh?

Okay.

-Okay.
-All right.

All right.

LOUIS: Hey, ladies.

Ren, me and the guys
are going to the beach tomorrow

and I need some surf wax.

So, I was wondering maybe I could use

some of that gunk
you use on your mustache.

Louis, stop it!

Ha-ha-ha!

REN: Out! Ugh!

LOUIS: Thanks, Ren.

(GROANS)

You know, your brother
may be onto something.

I so do not have a mustache.

RUBY: No, no. The beach.

Troubadour Point, spring break...

There's going to be lots of b-o-y-s.

And I hope they're c-u-t-e.

And i-n-t-e-l-l-i-g-e-n-t.

That's "intelligent."

I thought we were spelling stuff.

Praying for waves.

-Hoss.
-Hoss!

Hosses.

The swell should be up in no time, bro.

Sweet, man. Hey, have you seen Louis?

Louis is coming?

He doesn't surf.

He'll be cool. He's coordinated.

He's a good swimmer.

Oh.

Hey, hey, what are you doing?

What?

Dude, don't bring your board in here.
It's bad luck.

Really? Okay. Sorry.
I'll just bring it around.

This is bad.

Really bad.

(HUMMING)

TOM: Uh, Tawny, when exactly are you
going to start helping me?

Oh, I'm just waiting
for a little more cloud cover.

Oh, right.

Heaven forbid a ray of sunshine
should touch your precious porcelain skin.

(ALL CHEERING)

No!

Well, at least they left the turret.

Guys, wait up for me!

Oh! Ow!

Sorry, buddy.
Guys, wait up!

Okay, guys, what would you
like to do first?

We could swim, crossword puzzle,
or maybe just do a fun beach game.

Ren, we didn't come here to play games.

Hey.

Well, hello, Mr. Hawaiian Shorts.

Anyone want to play?

I do. I just love games.

If either of you girls are interested,

I found a spotted sand crab
over by the rocks.

Oh, my gosh.
That has got to be the lamest line

I have ever heard.

I was just saying
I hope I see a spotted sand crab.

Don't worry, Ren.
There's plenty of fish in the sea.

(SIGHS)

(CLICKING)

Beans,

what are you doing with a metal detector?

Looking for buried treasure.

See?

A bottle cap.

This baby's paying for itself.

LOUIS:
Guys, guys, wait for me!

I'm coming, guys!

I'm coming, guys!

Whoa!

(GRUNTING)

Ow!

Are you throwing shells at me?

Well, you're throwing them at me.

That's different.
I didn't even see you were there.

How come you're not in the water?

It's kind of cold, isn't it?

It's not too bad.

You get used to it.

Hey, hey! Stop it.
Don't make me go in there.

What's your name?

It's Ren.

Well, Ren, I got to go

but maybe I'll spot you later.

Yeah. No, you will not.

Hey, you know,
you didn't tell me your name.

Uh, it's Gil.

Gil.

Ah, makeup and hairspray at the beach.

Very nice, girls.

I thought you already met some guys.

We did. And we want to keep them.

They're taking us to lunch at The Shack.

So, Ren, still no guy?

Yeah, I met a guy, sort of.

Really? That's great. What's he like?

Well, his name's Gil and he's handsome

and sweet, a really good swimmer

and has a fin instead of legs.

-Hey, have fun at lunch, girls.
-What?

I said have fun at lunch.

No, no, no. The part about the fin.

Yeah, that.

He has a fin and no legs.

Are you saying you met a mermaid?

A man.

A merman.

(LAUGHS)

Somebody's been spending
a little too much time in the sun.

Guys, look,
I know this must sound really crazy

but I know what I saw...

I think.

(GIRLS LAUGHING)

Dude, it is totally flat out here.

I wonder why.

What's up, guys?

Thought the ocean was going to be
a little bigger, huh?

Nice one, Sir Jinx-a-lot.

Say what a lot?

Dude, you brought your board in The Shack.

You broke our lucky surf idol.

So what? You guys believe in that stuff?

Do you see any waves out here?

Come on, guys.
Let's to get some lunch.

Have fun.

Whatever, man.

Let's go get a hot dog
on the beach, huh? You and me?

Actually, I'm going to go eat with them.

Why?

Louis, sometimes I just need
to do my own thing, man, okay?

All right, man.

(ELECTRONIC CRACKLING)

...It's personal this time, Twitty.

Nobody's ever said that to him,
and that's why he...

Hey, Louis!

You wouldn't believe all
the buried treasure I'm finding.

That's great, Beans.

Come to papa!

Uh... Tawny.

-Hmm?
-I just wanted to say

that I appreciate your helping me

in spite of the fact that I belittled
your aversion to sunlight.

Oh, no, it's okay. You really have
a beautiful vision here, Tom.

No, actually, it's not my vision.

This castle was designed
by the great King Phillipe

for his beloved fiancée, Sofia.

Oh, that's so romantic.

No, not really.

She disappeared shortly
after the castle was completed

and was never seen again.

Phillipe lived out the rest of his days

in that empty castle.

He was known as "the lonely king."

Oh, that's so sad.

No, it's really more pathetic.

Ah. The perfect turret.

Sorry.

Sorry, guys.

Oh. You're going to cry, aren't you?

Oh! Hold me.

(SOBBING)

Hey, Ren.

-Hey, Louis.
-What are you doing?

Looking for someone who's going to prove
to my friends I'm not crazy.

At least your best
friend didn't ditch you.

I'm not crazy. I know what I saw.

He's hanging out
with his new surfer buddies.

I saw a guy with a cute smile,
broad shoulders and a tail fin.

-They're probably having a good time.
-A tail fin.

-Laughing, eating onion rings.
-A tail fin.

Twitty doesn't even like onion rings,
so it's weird.

He's probably faking like he likes them.

I know mermaids and mermen
only exist in fairy tales

but, who knows, maybe they're real.

I hope he burns his tongue on a hot one.

Thanks, Louis.

I don't care what anyone else things.
Gil is real and I'm going to find him.

You're right. Zack and his friends
don't own this beach.

I can surf if I want to surf.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Gil!

Gil!

(IMITATES DOLPHIN CRY)

(CLICKING TONGUE)

(IMITATES DOLPHIN CRY)

Gil!

Hey.

What are you doing?

Oh. I'm, uh...

fishing.

Hey, sardines.

Yeah, you want one?

Yeah, sure.

So? What are you doing?

Getting lobsters.

What for?

Well, my dad is King Neptune.

Wow.

So, you really are a sea person?

Yeah, that's right, born and raised.

So, do you like the ocean?

I could learn to like it.

I hope so.

Not a bad kisser.

For a fish.

(ELECTRONIC CRACKLING)

Yow.

Beansy.

Does that belong to you?

It does now.

Young man, I'll have a gander
at that sack.

He talks funny.

TOM: Attention!

Attention!

The Lost and Found is now open!

Tan wallet!

Hey, that was mine.

One pair of G-shades.

Hey, I was wearing those today.

One golden...

Oh, geez, this is mine.

Whatever happened to finders keepers?

This has to be the worst surf day ever.

(WAVE RUMBLING)

Twitty!

(SCREAMING)

Hold on, Twitty!

Get on the board.

You're good?

Thanks for helping me, man.
That wave really took me by surprise.

Yeah, where are your
little surfer buddies, man?

They got tired of waiting on the waves
so they decided to paddle in.

You know what's funny to me?

Is that the worst surfer in the world

is having to save hotshot
surfer boy over here.

Hey, I never said I was a...

You know what, Twitty?
It doesn't even matter.

Apologize to me when we get back to shore.

-Apologize for what?
-What do you mean for what?!

For being two-faced.
For bailing on me.

(WAVE RUMBLING)

Dude, paddle.

Now, Twitty, don't even try
to change the subject, okay?

Not only are you going to apologize,
you should buy me a Philly cheese steak.

Just paddle seriously.

-Why?
-Wave!

(SHRIEKS)

You guys, there's a huge
rogue wave out there

and some maniac is trying to ride it.

Come on, guys.

Hot, damn, this is so awesome.

This thing's like ten feet overhead.

Twitty, don't change the subject!
I'm still mad at you!

You're right!

It's Twitty.

Twitty, that was awesome, man.

You did it, hoss.

You were awesome, dude.

(CHANTING):
Twitty! Twitty! Twitty! Twitty!

Twitty! Twitty! Twitty!

Twitty! Twitty! Twitty!

Twitty! Twitty! Twitty!

Twitty! Twitty! Twitty!

Twitty! Twitty! Twitty!

Ren, we have a surprise for you.

This is Sam. Sam, Ren.

Sam is a really nice guy.
He's from Folsom.

and best of all, he has legs.

Go ahead, Sam.
Show her your toes.

Yeah. Guys, look.

I know that you probably
don't believe me, but...

I do know that Gil is for real

and that's all that matters, so...

really nice to meet you, Sam.

You can stop wiggling your toes.

Twitty! Twitty! Twitty! Twitty!

So, Twitty. Come on, hoss,
give us the play-by-play.

How'd you catch that gnarly wave?

I... I didn't exactly catch the wave.

-The wave kind of caught me.
-Oh, yeah, yeah.

You know, uh, the truth is...

I was in big trouble out there

and I had to have my butt saved
by my best friend.

Louis.

I'm going to go ahead and leave now
during this awkward silence.

GIL: Uh, is this seat taken?

No.

Gil!?

How did you get here?

Oh, I walked.

What do you mean?

You walked on land with your... legs?

Well, that's how I usually do it.

Huh. I see.

Now, what happened to your fin?

Oh, my uni-fin.

That's on the hook over there.

King Neptune Seafood Company.

Yeah, that's my dad.

King Neptune himself.

Yeah.

That would explain a lot.

What, did you think
I was a mermaid or something?

Merman.

May I come in?

Tom should have built a moat.

Look, um...

I know you're mad

and you're right, you know.

I shouldn't have ditched you
for Zack and those guys.

Yeah, but at the same time
it's my fault, too, you know

-'cause, I mean, I invited myself...
-Yeah, yeah.

Um... I'm glad you did

'cause you know, I might not be here
right now, if it wasn't for you.

Yeah. Yeah, the whole
"save your life" thing.

Whatever. It's all in a day's work.

Well, um, I brought you something.

Even a present.

He brings a present. He's bearing gifts.

What is this, man?

A Philly cheese steak.

Oh, that's nice. Want to split it?

-Oh, sweet.
-Here.

Thank you, kind sir. Mmm.

Looks good.

Mmm.

-What?
-I don't know.

It seems a little dry, doesn't it?

(WAVE RUMBLING)

(SHRIEKING)

Still too dry?

Better.

(SONG PLAYS)

Early in the morning
on the dawn patrol

Loading up the woodie
and it's time to go

Boards in back,
waves in view

Cruisin' the highway,
crank the tunes

Surf's up, let it roll

We are the dawn patrol

Surf's up!

Dawn patrol

Let it rock

Let it roll

Surf's up!

Dawn patrol

Let it rock

Let it roll

No better feelin'
than when I'm stealin'

Surf on, dawn patrol

No better feelin'
than when I'm stealin'

Surf on, dawn patrol!

(SONG ENDS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)