01x06 - The Lady Birders of Nepa

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Day of the Dead.

[SNARLING AND GROWLING]

HERB: They're eating our guests.

Mom!

[CRUNCH SOUND]

We have to get out of here.

[SNARLING AND GROWLING]

Come on! Let's go!

LAUREN: I parked out back!

HERB: I know you.

You're that junkie.

You're a shitty excuse for
a doctor, you know that?

Right there.

Okay, send out an EBS,
you text everyone,

tell them go to the old Paymart.

We could lock this place down,

keep everybody safe until help comes.

She's playing around with
things she doesn't understand.

Death is no longer the end.

[SNARLING]

[CRIES OF PAIN]

You ignorant prick.

[PANTING]

It's okay.

It's okay. We're going to get you help.

HERB: Can this jalopy go any faster?

You didn't wanna go to Paymart

and now you're in a rush to get there?

Make up your mind, Herb.

Well, forgive me for
feeling uncomfortable

having my life in your hands.

You weren't complaining
when I saved your ass

- back at the country club.
- Both of you just stop.

Please. Stop.

This woman is a criminal.

HERB: She almost cost
me my medical license!

JAI: Herb, she told you to stop!

[PHONE VIBRATING]

Oh, my God, Mom.

Please, please tell me
you're still stuck in Florida.

No, Mom, please! Stay there!

Don't come here!

No, I know I was pressuring you to come,

but something terrible has happened.

Just where you are.

No. The wedding's done.

No, we didn't have it without you.

- That's not what happened.
- Stop! Help!

- Stop!
- sh*t!

- [TIRES SCREECHING]
- Stop!

Please help.

My sister, we were out birding,
Mindy and I, when...

Oh, Jesus!

- It hurts so bad.
- Alright.

Mindy, just try and relax, okay?

- [GROANS]
- I'm a doctor.

How did this happen?

Mindy heard something in the bushes

and then he was just there.

It was so awful.

We started to run when
we saw his... his...

He had his thing out.

His... his thing?

You know what I'm talking about.

Those perverts and their
things they're so proud of.

I tripped trying to get away.

My God, I can still hear it
slapping against his thighs

as he was chasing us.

We have to get out of here.
He's still out there.

I can't do anything here.

Amy!

Get back in the damn car!

What's going on?

I have to get her to Paymart.

Paymart?

That place shut down.

Didn't you guys get the alert?

Okay, yeah, we'll be safe there.

From the perverts?

- No, from the zomb...
- Yes.

Yes, the perverts.

You'll be safe from the perverts.

There he is!

[LOW GROWLING]

[MOANING IN PAIN]

[SNARLING AND GROWLING]

Ugh, really?

Oh, my God.

Holy sh*t.

Zombie d*ck.

Everybody in the car!

Hey, hey, hey! What the hell?!

- Where are you going?
- AMY: Wait!

[PULSING THEME MUSIC]

♪

♪

[GROWLING]

Oh, f*ck!

sh*t!

Hey! Forget about the damn shoe!

Mom and I bought these shoes together.

Now she's gone.
I'm not leaving the shoe!

[SCREAMS]

You sons of b*tches!
You ruined everything!

This was supposed to be the
happiest day of my life!

[SCREAMS]

She's losing it.

[SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

Everybody I loved was in there!

[SOBBING]

AMY: They're all dead now.

Amy. Honey.

Alright, look.

What happened sucks, and
I know... I know it sucks.

- [SCOFFS]
- But we're not safe here.

Oh, Jesus. Will you stop babying her?

Hey, you.

You listen to me.

I am not gonna sit here and die

because you can't act like an adult.

Now, get up off your ass and move!

[EXHALES]

There, you see? You just have
to know how to talk to her.

[SCREAMS]

Dad!

Please, I... I just need more time.

I understand, but I've
discovered something.

Some... something...
something miraculous.

I don't care what you tell them,

just don't let them do
anything without me.

They've waited this long...
they can wait another hours.

You and I have work to do.

♪

Alright, you boys know how to use those?

Good. Now, get out front.

You keep an eye on that parking lot.

Paula?

Are you crazy, handing out g*ns?

Someone's gonna get hurt.

People are already getting hurt.

I'm giving them a fighting chance.

You can't just create a militia.

[LAUGHS] The hell I can't.

Take a look at the Second
Amendment sometime.

This isn't about politics.

What's happening out there is...
is bigger than our election.

[LAUGHING] Oh, ho, ho!

Oh, that is really something
coming from you.

You threatened to destroy my
family if I didn't step down,

so you can kiss my ass.

This town needs a leader
with a cool head,

not one telling teenagers
to sh**t on site.

My husband Trey and I, we were
att*cked by those creatures.

My campaign manager
was brutally m*rder*d,

and my son, my only child,
was almost taken from us.

Now, I will not stand by

and let a single member of
this community go through that.

If we are going to survive this day,

we need to stand together.

We need to fight together!

Luke, wait.

Imagine how good her
speech would have been

if I had actually d*ed.

I bet part of her wishes that I did.

Don't say that, that's not fair.

You know we're just props to her, right?

We're just supposed to
stand around and nod

like a couple of assholes.

You know, at least I stand up
to her every once in a while.

What do you do?

You just sneak around, screwing Nicole

'cause you're too
scared to say anything.

Luke.

It's pathetic.

You're pathetic.

[GROWLING AND SNARLING]

Dad, are you okay?

Yeah.

[FIGHTING GRUNTS]

Jai!

Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.

[g*nsh*t]

Y'all need a lift to the Paymart?

Bobby f*cking Hart.

♪

♪

♪

[DRILLING]

[SLAM]

I think I missed it.
Missed a stud or something.

Hey, hey, Lauren!

Oh, my God, I'm so glad you're safe.

And Jai and you guys.

It's pretty bad out there, man.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

- It's good to see you.
- You too, man.

So?

I was so worried about you.

You were?

I mean, I saved your ass this morning,

so I'd be pretty pissed

if you bit it the minute
I let you out of my sight.

We kind of saved each
other's asses, but whatever.

Well, I'm glad you're safe.

You find your dad?

No. He's probably passed out somewhere,

sleeping through this whole thing.

He'll turn up.

In the meantime, while you're here,

why not check out Paymart's
extensive menswear department?

Maybe you can ditch the cargo shorts.

Oh, yeah?

Lauren. Come on, we need
help in the infirmary.

Why me?

If you can sew up a corpse,
you can suture a live person.

JAI: Come on.

Hell yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.

Let's re-k*ll these undead f*ckers.

Bobby.

Bobby Hart.

You're Jerry's grandson, aren't you?

He was my Peepaw, yeah.

I'm sorry to hear he passed.

He was a hell of a Peepaw.

Listen, Bobby, before you
go out there blasting folks,

I... I want you to think
about something.

Your grandpa could be one
of those people out there.

Nah, he's pinned to the
floor of the funeral home.

Those things out there,
they used to be people.

People we know.
Our neighbors, our friends,

our... our Peepaws.

We don't even know what's causing this.

What if there's a cure?
What if it's only temporary?

We need to help them
and not destroy them.

Are we the type of people

who would slaughter
their own out of fear?

You wouldn't sh**t your poor
old Peepaw, Bobby, would you?

f*ck no, I would not.

[WINCES]

That's some nice stitch work.

Thanks.

It's definitely weird doing this
on someone who's still alive.

Because I'm not a doctor.

I'd be way more comfortable doing
this on you if you were dead.

No one's gonna die.

You're fine.

Lauren, why don't you, uh,
go check on the next patient?

Okay.

Whatever you say, Doc.

[CHUCKLES]

What?

I knew you were soft, but, uh... Christ.

LAUREN: No f*cking way!

You left us out there to die!

[TEARY] I'm sorry, I panicked.

Please, you've gotta help my sister.

It's okay.

Don't worry. Of course
we'll help you. Okay.

- [CRIES OF PAIN]
- You're hurting her.

I know. I'm sorry.

I'm just trying to get
a better understanding

of your sister's condition.

Lauren, can you take her
away from here, please?

I'm not leaving!

Cindy, please, just...
just let him work.

Come on.

- Go.
- Yeah.

[WHIMPERING]

I know you're in pain,

but I'm gonna help you, I promise.

Jai.

You do realize the only thing
keeping her alive is that stick?

You try to remove it, she'll
bleed out in seconds.

- You don't know that.
- And neither do you!

Not without an ultrasound.

Now, I've been a physician
longer than you've been alive

and I can tell a lost
cause when I see one.

Now, you wanna help this woman?

Treat her pain and let
her die with dignity.

Focus your efforts on people
you can actually save.

Maybe you've been doing
this job too long.

Our job is to save every single patient,

no matter how dire the prognosis.

Now, that doesn't make me soft,
it makes me a g*dd*mn doctor.

[CLEARS THROAT]

There used to be a pharmacy here.

See if you can find anything,
any kind of pain medication.

Hydrocodone, Oxycontin,

anything strong. Even if it's expired.

This woman is gonna need it.

You want me to find pain meds?

What, you've got a problem with that?

Or do you want to trick Jai into
writing a prescription again?

Kiss my ass.

♪

[THWACK]

[THWACK]

[THWACK]

[THWACK]

Shopping?

Oh, yeah. Lauren's always
giving me a hard time

about my cargo shorts, so...

Right.

I don't really think the
shorts are the issue, man.

[THWACK]

Whatever.

Hey, this sh*t's crazy, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

Still not convinced it's
not all a bad dream.

Yeah.

Wanna take a cut at it?

Yes or no?

- Alright.
- Alright.

[THWACK]

[THWACK]

There you are.

[SIGHS]

Wow.

I thought I was having a bad day.

Did the wedding even happen?

What do you think?

You know, you might have
dodged a b*llet there.

It's supposed to be the
happiest day of your life,

but one day you're gonna wake up

and you're married to the mayor,

your son hates you, and the
guy you were years ago

wouldn't give you the time of day.

[SIGHS]

Something on your mind?

Okay, let's see what you remember.

Hey.

Hey, look.

Look.

- Hey, what's this?
- _

What is this?

[LOW GROWLS]

What about this?

You know what this is?

[GRUNTS]

[BANGING ON BARS]

Dammit!

What?

Yes.

That's yours.

That's yours.

[GRUNTS]

You remember! You remember!

Maybe you are in there after all.

I don't care about
flooding in Pittsburgh!

I need help here!

This is a natural disaster!

It's an unnatural disaster!

I've got some boys armed and headed
out front to watch the perimeter,

but they aren't exactly Navy Seals.

Any word on the backup?

Goddammit. Assholes!

National Guard's a no go.

Oh, Jesus.

Then what're we gonna do?

[expl*si*n]

Dig in.

Make a stand here.

Try to save as many people as possible.

Make sure your boys
are locked and loaded.

I'll call the troopers again,

try and see if I can light
a fire under their asses.

Paula.

Can I borrow your phone?

[EXHALES]

♪

Looks like someone b*at me to it.

_

Hey, assholes.

I haven't seen you in days.

And then I lost it.

Cried like a baby right in front of him.

Luke was right.

I am pathetic.

[EXHALES]

What about you?

Huh?

Trey, you just told me
your whole life story

from everyone else's
point of view but yours.

Paula did, Nicole said, Luke told me...

What about you?

Where are you in all of this?

I don't know.

I mean, Paula says...

I don't care what Paula says.

What would you say

if you didn't have all these
other voices in your head?

I don't know.

Well...

If you ever met my dad,

you'd know that I come from
some pretty controlling people.

[CHUCKLES]

And a few years back I
was feeling so frustrated,

so constricted, I...

I felt like I couldn't even breathe.

You know what I did?

I signed up for Krav Maga.

What's that?

You know, the Israeli art of
kicking the sh*t out of people?

Okay, I know it's random,

but, I mean, just having
that little piece of control

made me feel like I could
start taking the power back

in the rest of my life.

No sh*t.

Yeah. No sh*t.

Now probably isn't the best time

to start martial arts classes, is it?

Yeah, well, that was my thing.
You gotta find your own thing.

And it doesn't need to be a class.

It can be a moment, or a feeling.

Anything that can be yours.

And I promise you, when you find it,

you'll be back in charge
of your own life.

Jesus.

I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna own my life!

- Thank you, Amy.
- Yeah.

That was...

Oh...

That was...

Damn!

Now all we gotta do is live
long enough for you to do it.

What the hell is this?

Why aren't you outside?

I won't do it, Mayor.

I ain't sh**ting my Peepaw.

Not for you, not for nobody.

- What the...
- I had a little talk with the boys.

We've decided to take
a different approach.

We are going to trap
those folks humanely.

Are you sh1tting me?!

You've seen what those monsters can do!

You're gonna get us all k*lled!

- Well, that's your opinion.
- Hey! Hey! You listen to me, Parker!

This election, it's not happening,
okay, not today.

Now is not the time for
some sort of a power grab!

This is life and death!

And that's where we've always
differed, isn't it, Paula?

You focus on death, I focus on life.

You see them as things,

but we see them as our
friends and our families.

[LAUGHS]

Do you even have a brain left
in that balding head of yours?

Huh?

Or is it just a bunch
of liberal bullshit

floating around in oat milk?

Come on, everybody.

Let's get those nets ready
and save some lives.

Hell yeah!

♪

You're still you.

The virus hasn't erased you.

Death hasn't erased you.

But I have to be sure.

I have to be.

I have to be sure you're still in there.

[SCREAMING] Help! Help!

Help me!

[SCREAMING] Help!

[GROANS]

Oh, geez.

[EXHALES]

Where the hell have you been?

A fish finder.

It's nowhere near as precise,

but functionally it's not that different

from an ultrasound machine.

It should give us a pretty decent idea

of the severity of Mindy's condition.

[SCOFFS]

You're out of your mind.

Yeah, well, at least
I'm doing something.

She's getting worse. Please help her.

That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

Alright, I'm gonna need
someone to hold her still.

- Where's Lauren?
- I sent her off to the pharmacy

to get pain medicine.

I figured she'd know what to look for.

Herb.

Jesus Christ, can you not be
an assh*le for one minute?

Hey, I'd rather be an assh*le
than a naive little boy.

You're so desperate to
impress your patients

you can't even tell when you're
being scammed by a drug addict.

But she saw.

Lauren saw your weakness.

She batted her eyelashes and
out comes your prescription pad.

You didn't have to call the police.

She didn't have to go to jail.
We could have helped her.

- What's wrong?
- Hold her steady.

What's happening?

We need to get that stick out! Now!

- Didn't swipe any, did you?
- f*ck you.

Herb, what the hell?
Lauren, I need your help.

It's okay. It's okay.

Oh, please! What are
you doing? Please, stop!

Please, stop.

Lauren, I need gauze, now!

We need gauze!

Yeah.

[CRIES OF PAIN]

[SCREAMING AND GASPING]

♪

[SCREAMING] Anybody!

Anybody! Help! Help!!

I've been trying to
help you! I'm trying...

Stop! Look, look, look!

[LOUD GROWL]

[SNARLING AND GROWLING]

Dammit.

Dammit!

- Hey, bub.
- MCDERMOTT: And don't forget,

- if you get into trouble...
- Look.

- ... just pass it to Luke.
- Hey.

CAM: Mom, will you make him stop.

Don't post this.

MCDERMOTT: Don't
worry, I won't share it.

CAM: You better not.

I knew it. I knew it.

[LOUD GROWL]

[SNARLING AND GROWLING]

[ROARS]

[ROARS]

Hey.

I'm so glad to see you.

Have you... have you been drinking?

Uh...

Yeah, um... I mean... I was
talking to Trey Bowman,

the mayor's husband

- and...
- Amy, are you kidding me?

I'm over here trying to save people

and you're having a... a party?

Okay, whoa, we were just talking.

He's in a pretty dark place.

Oh. He is?

You know that woman we found
on the side of the road?

The one with a branch in her side?

She's dead, Amy.

Oh, God.

I... That's... that's awful, I...

She was seizing and, uh...
I had to do something.

I really, really thought
I could save her.

Okay.

Don't blame yourself.

Like, you can't save everybody.

What kind of doctor would
I be if I didn't try, huh?

Oh, yeah, that's right.

I'd be your dad.

I can't believe I almost
married you today.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Ever since we got engaged,

I felt like I wasn't
good enough for you.

Like I wasn't good enough
to be a part of your family.

But today, with your dad waving
that prenup in my face,

I realized you don't think
I'm good enough.

[TEARY] Jai. I... Jai, please...

You deserved better than this.

But sh*t's pretty f*cked up right now.

[SOBBING] Why is this happening?

[SOBBING]

Why us? Why here?

I don't wanna die. Not like this.

[SOBBING]

Maybe you're one of the lucky ones.

[GROANS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

There you are.

Listen, we need to talk.

I've been doing some thinking on
the state of our relationship...

Oh, man.

You haven't dipped since college.

Trey, what do you want?

The way you treat me?

The way you take me for granted?

It isn't okay.

I'm a person.

I'm a man, Paula.

You need to start treating me like one.

We are not doing this.

We have no police force.

No outside help.

And that idiot, Pops Parker,

has managed to convince everyone in here

that those monsters are their
long lost family members.

So now I have to convince
a store full of morons

that those things are
actually dangerous!

No! No!

It's always about you and your
problems and what you need.

This is about us.

We had a real marriage once

and I'm gonna fight to get that back.

I am more than the guy
who holds your purse.

I'm your g*dd*mn husband and
this family is my Krav Maga.

What are you even...

That tasted like absolute ass.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[GASPS]

Hey, sweetie.

You know, you're not always right
all the time. You know that?

I was right about that patient
and I am right about Jai.

He's a nice kid, yeah.

Might even make a decent husband.

But you deserve more
than nice and decent.

I hoped you'd see that.

My whole life I worshipped you.

I wanted to be just like you.

And you know what the worst part is?

I think I am.

Amy.

Amy!

[CRYING] She wasn't just my sister,

she was my best friend.

We lived together,
we went birding together,

and after Mother d*ed,
we only had each other.

[CRYING] Now who do I have?

Oh, no, no. You have us.

We're not just your neighbors, Cindy.

We're your family.

We look after each other.

We take care of each other,

and that's exactly what
we're gonna do today.

Have you seen Jai?

Not for a while.

Can you believe this guy?

It's the damn apocalypse and
he's still running for mayor.

It's up to us right here and now

to decide what kind of
town we want to be.

A town that rules with
fear and v*olence,

or a town that leads with
strength and compassion.

Let us not go out there
and k*ll those people.

Let us go out there and save them.

[APPLAUSE]

[SCREAMING]

Mindy!

Is that you?

She's one of them things.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, no, no, no. It's okay, it's okay.

No, no, no, no, no.
It's... it's... it's okay.

We don't want to hurt you,
it's... it's just, um...

that's right, you... you are fine.

You are our friend.

You see?

They can be saved.

[CHUCKLES]

[SNARLING]

Get it off me! Get it off me!!

- Somebody help me!
- [GROWLING AND SNARLING]

Get a g*n and sh**t this f*cking thing!

- No!
- k*ll it!

Everybody, stand back!

[BATTLE CRY]

Get off of him!

♪

Trey!

[THUD]

Trey, get outta there!

[THUDS]

No!

It's okay, Paula.

I got this one.

[GASPS]

Move! Move!

Get off! Get off!

[SNARLING AND GROWLING]

[SCREAMING]

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nshots]

What the hell was that?

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nsh*t]

Oh!

[SOBBING] Oh, Trey. Trey.

Did I get her?

Yeah.

Yeah, you got her.

You saved us.

You're a hero.

[GROANS]

[SOBBING]

Tr... Trey...

[SOBBING]

Where the hell did she come from?

So now I have to convince
a store full of morons

that those things are
actually dangerous!

[SOBBING]

♪

[SOBBING]

[SOBBING]