02x03 - Like a Girl

[bunniefuu]

♪

(PANTS)

Jen, you sure you don't want to try?

The gamester only lent the
VR goggles for one night.

Silly, Mo, Faulkner's the
only entertainment I need.

They have an office simulator.

I don't believe this; I can file,

staple, attend meetings... (GASPS)

I'm eating a chocolate bar
from my desk and

I don't even know how
long it's been there.

- Can I try?
- Not now.

- (GASPS)
- What happened?

My boss just slapped my butt.

Ah! Someone just told me to smile more!

Ah! (GASPS)

I just got paid cents
for every dollar

my male counterpart made.

Jen, you have it on s mode.

Well, I like the power suits.

Yeah, well, too bad, I'm
switching it to modern mode.

Huh, well, it certainly does
look a lot more modern and...

Ah! My boss just slapped my butt.

Ah! Someone just told me to smile more.

Ah! I just made cents
for every dollar

my male counterpart made.

Progress!

♪

♪

♪

Mo, remember how I applied
to a bunch of serving jobs?

No.

Well, I got hired at a
place called The Bog.

It has a bunch of
bog-themed drinks like,

petemoss pilsner, vodka swamp water.

And, this job means I don't
have to work temp anymore or

any weird one-off gigs.

Some of those gigs were fun.

You loved being convection
at that chemistry fair.

Last week, I nude modelled for a
first-year modern art class.

I see it.

Take it from me, you gotta
watch out for sleaze,

and managers who don't let you
eat the customer's leftovers.

You know me; I'm the
queen of boundaries.

Besides, if I can get my bank
account to three figures,

maybe my mom will stop trying
to force me into grad school.

Oh! Yeah!

Clear maternal boundaries right there.

Hey...

What's got you brushing
your hair like a grown up.

Beta Games is calling all
of their store managers to

attend a sexual harassment seminar.

Mo, you got manager! Congrats!

No biggie.

And, I guess companies are
taking this stuff seriously

since that exposé on the
sex-offender CEOs.

- Makes sense.
- Hardly.

You think those rich jerks
and their supermodel yachts

are gonna be forced to
sit through these things?

The people attending
already know this stuff.

Although, on the bright side,

I get paid $ to sit for
three hours and eat fruit salad.

Okay. What about this uniform says,

"affordable family dining"?

Besides the back.

♪

And if you see that red light come on,

that means food's up.

Or, the chef's
pacemaker's malfunctioning.

Either way, you should
get to the kitchen.

Did you study the menu?

Oh, I have it completely memorized and

can both speak and... sign it.

Impressive.

Well, it's not busy today,
so you can start on the floor.

And if you have any trouble at all,

you just let me know.

This is a small business...

And I like it to feel like a family.

Actually, I did want to
talk about the uniform.

Me too.

I think you should get taller heels.

All the girls wear at least
three inches and

I don't want you to feel left out.

♪

(INDISTINCT SPEAKING)

Morning, fellow manager.

Alister, what are you doing here?

You're not a store manager.

No, but I will be when head
office inevitably fires you.

Oh, for inevitably choking
you with a cantaloupe slice?

Listen, man, don't ruin this for me.

I am making $ in three hours.

(SIGHS) You know, Mo, you should
really take this seriously.

Sexism is real and it is... everywhere.

(LAUGHS)

(INDISTINCT SPEAKING)

Sorry I'm late.
Transit in general, you know.

Oh yeah, always bad.

Welcome to Beta Games
first-ever sexual harassment

training seminar.

(APPLAUSE)

Sure, ah... As you know,

our company has been a bit reluctant to

engage in this sort of
education ever since the

poor reception of our "Selling
to Broads" training video.

Hey...

Sexual harassment is a growing
problem in the workplace.

You know what I think the
growing problem

in the workplace is; being
accused of sexual harassment

when, really, I was just
trying to be friendly.

Oh! Are you we going to learn
how to stop being accused?

These are all valid concerns.

Ah, one, no.

Two, is this actually
happening right now?

And three, just the word no again.

Mo, please let the
workshop leader actually

lead the workshop. Back to you, Brian.

No, screw off Brian.

Okay, ah, that was harsh, but okay.

Am I the only female manager?

Head office is working on a parody...

I don't think somebody
should get a promotion

just 'cause they're a woman.

Okay, well, % of
h*m* sapiens are female.

So, statistically speaking,
half of us should have

at least one ovary.

Unfortunately, not a lot
of women want to work

in a video game store.

Maybe 'cause every time they go into one

they're pitched Barbie Po Adventure.

I only suggest that after I ask them

if they're shopping for their husband.

Courteous high-five.

Mm.

(CLAPS)

Oh, I feel harassed by
my manager all the time.

Demanding that you stop
pretending to be the manager

is not harassment.

Linda's always asking me
to get my files in order.

Sounds like she's just asking you to do

your basic job duties.

Sounds like she's a basic nag.

Ah-ha. Agreement high-five.
Yeah-yeah-yeah.

(CLAPS)

Okay, ah, this is gonna sound
a bit weird, but Mo,

would you mind voicing
some of your experiences?

Fine.

Okay... um

Raise your hand if you've ever received

unwanted comments about your clothing.

Unsolicited compliments
about your appearance?

- Unwanted touching?
- I wish.

Ooh. (LAUGHS) Yeah.

Harder, harder. Softer, softer.

(LAUGHS)

This is gonna take
more than three hours.

Also, you spelled harassment wrong.

It...

♪

Ugh. Great, now I look
like a Japanese p*rn.

You're new here.

Could you tell?

(LAUGHS) Well, I'm Peter.

Nice to meet you.
Sorry? You're slated...

Jenny!

- Oh, Jen.
- Ah, sorry, sorry.

I have a friend named
Jen who goes by Jenny.

She's a dancer.
Real artist without words.

What's special today, besides you?

Oh-ho, the specials today
are gadfly gumbo.

And, the vegetarian option,
pond scum poppers.

Ah, I'm not actually hungry,
but good job, Jenny.

Sorry, can you please not call me Jenny?

Whoops, won't happen again. (LAUGHS)

Thank you.

Can I get another one of these, honey?

(PHONE RINGS)

(SIGHS) Come on, Mo! Answer!

PHONE: Hi, you've reached Mo.

If this is Jen calling to
complain about her job,

please press one.

Mo! I can't tell if this
customer's being creepy or

if I'm just being sensitive. Call me!

(SIGHS)

♪

Then, the manager said
not to wear skirts because

customers might bend down
and see something inappropriate.

And when she confronted him about it,

he said that she was
just looking for attention!

Ah! Ah!

I thought stuff like
that only happened in PSAs.

I'm shocked.

Moi aussi. Shocked!

As am I. I am also shocked.

Well, I'm glad to see you
guys are taking this seriously.

Mo, I need you to know
that I don't see gender.

- I know, Alister.
- I also don't see race.

And I keep telling you that the company

does cover eye exams.

I don't see your point.

So, you all get this very sensitive and

complicated issue now, right?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Oui, oui, oui.

Then, that's the session.

Fly, my freedom birds. Fly, fly away.

Hey... thanks, hot stuff.

Sit down!

There's more.

♪

(KNOCKS)

Hey, Tilda.

I don't know if this is appropriate,

but I was just at the bar
and this guy, Peter...

He said something weird, right?

Yes, thank you.

Peter's a little awkward,
but he's a real sweetheart.

Coming here for years.

Well, I wouldn't call it awkward.

I'm gonna go say hi.

It's just...

I know, this is my first serving job and

I don't really know
what's appropriate, or...

You're right; you don't know.

(SIGHS)

How?

♪

What you just saw was a
clip from a classic sitcom.

Sorry... I'm confused.

Who exactly is the boss?
Is it Tony or Angela?

What you saw was a situation
where a woman is in power.

- How did that make you feel?
- Uncomfortable!

- Inadequate.
- Turned on.

So, we all know these
are terrible answers, right?

I actually had notes
on the episode, itself.

Ah, starting in act one...

Okay, let's start at the beginning.

- (CLEARS THROAT)
- Okay.

What's the definition of feminism?

Making women more important than men.

No, but that is a common misconception.

It has something to do with
the sexy march of lingerie

that my wife went on?

Oh, oh! Ah...

(CLAPS) Lesbians! Lesbians!

It's the promotion of
women's rights I told her

to bring about an equality
amongst the sexes.

Yes!

- Also, lesbians.
- No!

Let's bring it to a personal level.

Say it's my birthday.

What is an appropriate
thing to write in my card?

Have fun slutting it up, you old bag.

No.

Have it fun slutting
it up, you young bag?

No.

(LAUGHS) I'm confused.

I just... This is...

It's all very confusing.

(LAUGHS) I mean...

ALISTER: It's clear.

♪

And then, the priest says,
"No, deeper." (LAUGHS)

Ah, okay... Well,

I'm gonna be over here cutting limes,

as is my job.

Come on! I think you're
misinterpreting me.

I'm just trying to make
you laugh. Relax.

Ugh.

I just got lime on my shirt.

No, I cut my finger.

Now I've got lime and blood
on my shirt and my finger!

Ah, does it hurt? I could...

Do not say kiss it better.

I was gonna say, bandage it for you.

I'm an EMT.

(KNOCKS)

Jen, did you commit some crime
you need me to know about?

I wanted to say you were right.

Peter seems like an okay guy, and...

I trust your judgement.

You see what happens
when you open your mind?

Wow, they just busted another
CEO for sexual misconduct.

(SIGHS)

- Oh, it's absurd!
- Right?

It's becoming a reach witch hunt.

(PHONE RINGS)

Mo!

This guy keeps saying creepy
stuff to me and my manager,

this woman Tilda,
won't do anything about it.

- Did she see it happen?
- No.

Jen! She's a woman!

If she sees it happen she'll
for sure do something.

Oh my God, Mo. You're a genius!

Are you eating a handful
of Parmesan cheese?

No. How's the seminar going?

It's hopeless!

No! You're the one who said
the world was changing.

Don't give up; double down.

Stop eating powdered cheese!

♪

(SPEAKING OVER EACH OTHER)

Okay, guys! (CLAPS) Break's over.

You two, over there.
You're doing a role play.

(LAUGHS)

Not that kind of role play.

- (SNICKERS)
- Yeah.

Please demonstrate the proper
way to greet a female coworker.

No.

No!

Why?

No, no!

You do not kiss a female
coworker on the cheek!

- Sit down.
- Told you.

I kiss everybody at the cheek!

I kiss a man at the cheek.
I kiss a lady at the cheek.

I kiss a baby in a basket at the cheek.

It's friendly en francais.

Okay, no one but Buchard
can kiss on the cheek.

- Merci.
- No.

Listen, we really need
to work at this together.

- Are you with me?
- Yeah!

Ish.

- ♪
- _

♪

- _

♪

- _

♪

You buzzed the office, Jen?

Yeah, the register needs switching.

Peter, can I get you anything else?

Ah no, thanks, miss.

Ah... hey,

what was that hilarious joke

you were telling me earlier?

Don't remember.

- Actually...
- Yes.

Tilda, how's your daughter?

She's good, thanks for asking.

She took... psychology, right?

My niece wants to get into that.

Well, Jill comes by on Friday.

Why don't you bring your niece?

I will. Thanks, Tilda. Appreciate it.

♪

- What was that?
- What was what?

You don't talk to me like that.

Who, Tilda?

Tilda's a mom, you gotta respect that.

Mothers are sacred.

Oh... your finger's still bleeding.

Ah...

♪

Thanks, Mo. I'm never
gonna manspread again.

I'm never gonna gaslight again.

I'm never gonna send unsolicited
boudoir photos again,

even the really good ones.

Feminist high-five?

(CLAPS)

- Okay, thanks so much.
- Thank you.

I thought it was just okay.

Hey, um... I wanted to thank you.

I've always thought
of myself as an ally,

but today I learned at even
I can have some blind spots.

I think that you should
run these seminars.

- Ah, thanks, Brian.
- No, I, I... I mean it.

I'm willing to talk to
Beta Games about it.

It's good money.

Oh, I, I don't think it's for me.

Well... There's a great
bar right nearby.

We could go grab a drink, talk about it.

Put it on the company card.

Oh, company card?
My two favourite words,

right after "languid" and "morose".

Ah, yeah.

- Let's go.
- Okay.

♪

Okay, woman to woman,

I'm feeling really uncomfortable.

I looked up the Health and
Safety Act and it defines

sexual harassment as
unwanted flirtation,

sexually objectifying language,

and violating physical
boundaries in the workplace.

Peter's done all those things.

You looked all that up today?

How many breaks have you taken?

Maybe you should think a
little less about Peter and

a little more about your job.

Is that a new stain?

♪

Peter, you forgot your change.

That's for you, cutie.

Yes! No.

Tall drink of water for
a tall drink of water.

(LAUGHS)

Spicy Caesar for a spicy fella.

(LAUGHS)

Forgot my jacket.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look at you, busy bee.

You move any faster you're
gonna shake that tail off.

Mm. (LAUGHS)

You know what; think I'm
gonna stay for another, Jenny.

♪

What have I become?

♪

Jen! Look at yourself!

What could possibly be worth this?

(GASPS) Are they are hiring?

I have made more in a
day than I make in a week.

I could be above
the poverty line. Above!

Maybe I can hang on 'til
I have more experience.

Maybe then I can work somewhere else.

Maybe another
restaurant won't be so bad.

Maybe there's still a lot of
work that needs to be done

and maybe we're the
ones who need to do it.

♪

Where have you been? I ordered beers.

Was stopping a friend
from OD'ing on cream.

Cool, is that like a young person drug?

Absolutely.

So, do you only do these
seminars for Beta Games,

or do you do it for
other places as well?

Oh, no. Once you have
your certification,

you can do them anywhere you want.

- Then, I'm in.
- Ah, slow down. (LAUGHS)

I'm still a little bit fried
from today's seminar,

but we can talk about
it on Monday, all right?

There's my business
number and... my cell.

♪

Call me any time.

Any time.

♪

- Is this Brian's beer?
- Yeah.

(SPITS)

Mo!

I do feel a tiny bit better.

(SIGHS) I don't.

But I know what I have to do.

Ugh, does it ever end with you?

No, she's naggy as fudge.

What are you wearing?

The work uniform.

That's the men's work uniform.

If some employees can wear it,

then other should be able to as well.

Jen...

You're fired.

That's sexual discrimination.

You dropped food,

you complained about the customers, and

you've been sh**ting cream
in the dry storage all day.

Yeah, but that's not
why you're f*ring me.

Prove it.

(LAUGHS) (SIGHS)

Hey you, dough eyes. Do you want a job?

You just fired my best friend!

Is $ the average tip here?

♪

♪

Well, stood up for myself, so I feel up.

Then I got fired, so I also feel down.

Like one of those
wiggly inflatable tube men.

Oh, hey freckles.

Listen here, you walking-man-at-play,

and listen carefully.

You are you going to
apologize to this lady and,

every lady who has ever
endured interaction with you.

You mean in the order that I met them?

Yes, chronologically.

That means mother would be first.

Do it.

Okay.

- Feel better?
- Little bit.

Actually, I still feel kind of sick.

I get it.

Sometimes I forget how much
work there still is to be done.

Yeah...

Also, I still feel genuinely
sick from eating condiments.

Ugh.

(LAUGHS)