Saved by the Bell: Wedding in Las Vegas (1994)

[bunniefuu]

All right, I see two of them
about 100 meters.

They're both armed.

All right.
Let's make our move.

I'm scared.

Hey, you signed up
for this just like we did.

Now, act like a soldier.

Oh! Ah, I think
I fell on my g*n!

Would you shut up, Screech?

You're gonna blow
the whole operation.

He's right.

Let's do this exactly
as we planned.

Stay alert. I don't want
anybody getting sh*t.

- All right. Let's go.
- Go. Go.

Paint the suckers!

Oh! Oh!

Got you guys!

I can't believe this.

Yeah, well, believe it, pal.
You're our ninth k*ll.

Hand over your weapons, guys,

'cause the red team
is the dead team.

All right, get out of here.

Well, according to my
calculations, gentlemen,

we have wiped out
the entire red team.

All right, blue team!

- Yeah!
- Yahoo!

I love paint w*r.

I love this army stuff.

I could be all that I could be.

Man, this is the best
weekend I've ever had.

Well, you know, without a girl.

This is great, isn't it?

Really glad you guys
came here with me.

Hey, buddy, we wouldn't
have it any other way.

I'm just glad you decided to spend
your final days as a free man with us.

The three musketeers.

Together for the last time.

Well, next week, you're gonna
be an old married man.

Still can't believe it, Zack.

You're only 19.

Think of all the
fun you're missing.

Think of all the women
you're missing.

Aw, come on, Slater.

I dated practically
every girl on the planet.

There's only one
I ever really loved.

Kelly.

I'm not lettin' her get away.

Party's over, fellas.

Hands up now!

All right, you got us.

You guys are good.

They're not good.
You're stupid.

You and your calculations.

Oh, I'm stupid?

You're the genius who
led us into this ambush.

Now, guys, let's not quibble.

Zack, Slater's not stupid.

And, Slater, Zack's no genius.

Shut up, Screech.

Now what did I do?

You did what you always do.

Yeah, you ruin everything.

Yeah, you idiot.

You guys mind? We're
playing a w*r game here.

C'mon, guys, that hurts!

Would you guys cut it out?
He's our prisoner.

Oh!
Ow, my knee!

Ow, my knee! Aah!

Way to go.

You hurt your own man.

What the heck?

Yes! Yes, we did it!

- Yes!
- Yes!

Woo! Get out of here.

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Are we bad or what?

Yeah! Too much fun, man.

Let's get back to the
camp and celebrate!

All right, guys,
but not too long.

I promised Kelly we'd leave
for Las Vegas in the morning.

Whipped.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, here it is.

Bayside High.

Too bad you can't stay
in high school forever, huh?

My cousin can.

Flunked algebra three times.

Yeah, we made some
history here, didn't we, guys?

112.

That's how many times I was
sent to the principal's office.

18. How many dates
I had for one prom.

Well, as impressive as
those numbers are, gentlemen,

my record can never be broken.

82.

That's how many lockers
I was stuffed into.

You're right, Screech.

That record will
never be touched.

All right, man, here we are.

Good luck, huh?

See you guys tomorrow.

See ya.

So. You're getting
married in Las Vegas.

That's exciting.

Exciting?
It's ridiculous, Melanie.

A wedding in Las Vegas?

Who's gonna marry you,
some Elvis impersonator?

I don't know why you care, Dad.

You've been against
this from the start.

Of course I'm against it, Zack.
You're too young to get married.

I don't want you
throwing your life away.

I'm not throwing my life away.

I've been in love with Kelly
since we were in grammar school.

Why can't you see
that this is the real thing?

Son, Kelly is a terrific girl,

and I don't doubt
your feelings for each other,

but can't it just wait
until after you graduate?

No, Dad, it can't.

We've planned this out.

We have a place off campus.
We're both going to work.

You're making
a big mistake, son.

Derek, you do not know that.

You know what? If I am making
a mistake, at least it's my mistake.

This is my life.

Fine. You do
what you have to do.

But leave me out of it.

So, what are you saying?

You're not coming to my wedding?

You okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll be all right.

Why does he have
to be like that?

Zack,

your father has always had
these great plans for you,

and getting married at 19
is not on his list.

Yeah, but, Mom,
what about my list?

Look, Zack, I think you're
too young to get married, too.

But if you are truly
happy about this,

then that's all that
really matters to me.

Thanks, Mom.

So...

So?

Are you gonna be there?

Well, you have my blessings.

I can't be at the wedding, Zack.

I can't go against your father.

So, you need some money?

I'm fine, Mom.

I've got about $1,200.

We can have a nice
little wedding with that.

Well, here are two vouchers

for free rooms
at the Stardust Hotel.

I won them during
poker night at church.

What can I say?

You've always been there for me.

You will always be
my little boy,

even though you're all grown up.

Mom.

Great car, Lisa.

It's a birthday present
from my dad.

Has anybody seen my pillow?

It's in the
back of Slater's car.

- Here's Zack.
- Hey, hey, hey.

- What's goin' on, guys?
- What's up, buddy?

- You ready?
- Oh, yeah.

Vegas, here we come.

Yeah.

Who do I see over here?

Come here.

You know, I just
can't take this anymore.

I'm glad we're goin'
in separate cars.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why
we goin' in separate cars?

Well, Kelly and I have a
lot of things to talk about.

I still can't believe you're going
through with this wedding, Zack.

Well, for your information,
Lisa, it is a done deal.

Listen, I just talked to my
parents, and they're all excited.

Unfortunately, they can't
help us out financially.

Well, at least
they're behind us.

My dad thinks I'm crazy.

He's not gonna
be at the wedding.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, me, too.

But, hey, I am a mature adult,

and I can make
decisions on my own.

Come on, let's go.

Okay, people.

With my computerized trip plan,

our two vehicles should never
be more than 50 yards apart.

Now, I've planned
our exact route,

fuel stops, and food breaks.

I've also done
a little research.

Did you know that the cleanest
restroom in California

is actually at a Mobil
station in Barstow?

Well, doesn't
everybody know that?

Come on, let's do it!
Let's go!

I'll miss you.

I will miss you more.

Oh, come on.

Hold up, hold up.

Come on!
One more.

Ah, you're k*lling me.

Okay! Okay, okay.

Let's do it.

Next stop -- Vegas.

I love weddings.
They are so romantic.

Hey, remember when we all
dressed up as brides

in the seventh grade?

Yeah.

And now I get to do it for real.

Have you thought
about your dress?

Are you kidding? I've got 60
back issues of Bride magazine.

You know, Zack's even more
excited than I am.

He can't talk
about anything else.

So, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're tellin' me that
Jean Claude Van Damme

is tougher than Steven
Seagal? No way.

Van Damme could
take out a whole army.

And Steven Seagal can't?

Hey, guys, you know who's
a lot tougher than he looks?

Martin Short.

All right.
All right, all right.

Forget tough guys.
Best baseball player.

Barry Bonds.

There you go.
That's right.

Best American chess player.

Then I'd like curtains
in the kitchen

and little pots on the window
sill, all filled with flowers.

Kelly, that is so Brady Bunch.

I know.
I love that house.

Best Sports Illustrated
swimsuit model:

Elle Macpherson.

Yeah.

This is great, man.

You're gonna ruin it all
by gettin' married, Zack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just drive, Slater, will ya?

Hey, you know what?

What do you say
we three bachelors

drive down to Mexico and all
go fishin' for the week, huh?

Huh?

Oh, no.
Where are the girls?

I mean, do you see them?

No, they're not
anywhere behind us.

Pull over, Slater.

Great, man.

We're two miles out of L.A.,
and we've already lost the girls.

Hello?

Hello? Where are you?

We're on the Santa Monica
Freeway going east.

Where are you?

Well, we're sitting here on the
side of the road waiting for you.

Listen, if you girls
can't keep up--

Hey, we girls
are perfectly capable

of driving to Las Vegas without you
having to lead us there by the nose.

In fact, I'll bet you dinner
we'll b*at you there.

Oh, you're on.

Hey, guys,

they bet us they'd
b*at us to Vegas.

Let's go!

How'd we get so far
from the highway?

I don't believe this.

I can't get anything.
We're too far out.

Great. The car's broken down,

we're in the middle of nowhere,
the heat is stifling.

I'm low on lip gloss.

Take it easy, Lisa.

I'm sure Zack
will be by to save us.

Oh, boy, you really are in love.

Zack, your stupid shortcut isn't
anywhere near the main highway.

That's why they call it
a shortcut, Slater.

No girl's gonna b*at me
to Las Vegas.

That's the spirit.
Step on it, Zack.

Slow down, Zack.

- Hi there.
- Hi there.

So, uh... what's
the problem, officer?

Well, you boys have been
speedin' through my county.

Mmm, I hate that.

Nobody speeds through my
county and gets away with it.

You know, now that you
mention it, I guess...

I guess I was
goin' a tad too fast.

A tad.

I had you boys clocked
at 85 miles an hour.

That's 20 over the speed limit.

Have you any idea how long
it takes to stop a vehicle

goin' 85 miles an hour?

732 feet, sir.

You tryin' to be funny, boy?

No, sir, I was just usin' the standard
formula of eight feet a second.

Drop it, Screech.

License and registration.

Where you boys from?

Los Angeles.

You see, sir, I'm on my way
to get married in Las Vegas.

My fiancée's waiting,
so if you can give me my ticket,

we'll be on our way.

Los Angeles, huh?

Did you ever, uh...

Did you ever meet that girl,
that girl who plays Blossom?

No.

Good actress. Can't
dance worth a lick, though.

Why in the world
they let that girl dance

at the beginnin' of
every show is beyond me.

Yeah, well, uh...

We'll talk to them when
we get back to L.A.

You do that.
Where's your registration?

You know what?
I'm sorry, sir,

but I must have lost it.

You lost your registration?

Ohhh...

Oh, that is a no-no.

That is a big no-no.

- That's bad?
- Oh, very bad.

I'm gonna have to
run you boys' plates.

You wait right here.

How could you lose
your registration?

I don't know! I was cleaning out
my glove compartment last week.

I must have thrown it
out by accident.

I keep the registration for my
bike pinned to my underwear.

Why didn't I think of that?

Yep.

Sending a roger.

Well...

There's good news,
and there's bad news.

What's the bad news?

Bad news is, this car's
shown up stolen.

What?!

Mm-hmm.
No, no, that's impossible.

You callin' me a liar, boy?

No.

No, sir, I just think
there's some kind of mistake,

- because I cleaned out this--
- I don't think so.

I'm gonna have to
take you boys in.

Oh, geez.

Well, what's the good news?

Oh, the good news is my
wife's makin' pot roast for dinner.

Okay, boys, just get
out of the car now.

Slow.
Real slow.

Is this really necessary?

Don't tell me how to do my job.

I hate that.

Will you stand still?

Oh. Sorry.

I'm just a little ticklish.
I get it from my dad.

He can't even scrub himself
in the shower without laughing.

You have the right
to remain silent.

I do wish you would.

What's this?

Oh, that?
That's a Pez dispenser.

You want one?
It's cherry.

Are you tryin' to bribe me, son?

Uh, sir, sir? Please
don't pay attention to him.

You see, as a child,
he was dropped on his head.

Repeatedly.

Well, I'm gonna have
to cuff you boys.

It's just procedure.

I hope Zack isn't
worried about us.

The worst part about this
is I owe him a dinner.

Hey, someone's coming.

Hey, over here!

Over here!

Uh, look at him, Kelly.

He looks like some kind
of grungy hippy.

Lisa, he's the first human
being we've seen in an hour.

Looks like you girls
could use some help.

No, we'll be fine without you.

In fact, we're
enjoying the scenery.

Uh, don't listen to her.

Actually, we're stuck here, and
we'd really appreciate some help.

Sure.

I'm Curt Martin.

I'm Kelly.
She's Lisa.

Um, what are you doing out
here in the middle of nowhere,

if I can ask?

You can ask.

I teach school at the Indian
reservation a couple of miles from here.

Never thought a yuppie car
like this would break down.

Yuppie car?

Excuse me, but
what do you drive,

a VW van with flowers and
peace signs painted all over it?

I don't own a car.

I get by fine without
material things.

Including a comb.

So, uh,

what do you think's
wrong with the car?

Fan belt broke
and overheated the radiator.

Can you fix it?

Maybe. I'm gonna
need your belt.

No way. This is
an Italian import.

Lisa, will you give it to him?

We wanna get out
of here, don't we?

Come on.

All right, boys, you go right on
through there and stand on the side.

Suspicion of grand theft auto.

Book 'em, Dano.

Yes, sir.

Start it up.

I'm gonna need that
water for the radiator.

All of it?

Yeah.

Yuppie car needs yuppie water.

Careful, that stuff's
eight bucks a gallon.

I think it's gonna work.

It'll at least get us to Vegas.

Us?

Yeah.

I was on my way to the highway
to hitch a ride when I met you.

Well, we'll take you.
It's the least we can do.

What's in Las Vegas?

I work in a hotel part of
the year to make ends meet.

Appreciate the ride.

Now we can get
to know each other.

You, sit in the back.

Is she always this friendly?

Mr. Dano, sir.
Can I call you Dano?

Sir, this is one big mistake.

That's right. We are
not car thieves, sir.

We've never done
anything wrong in our lives.

Well, okay, okay. One time, we
cheated on a philosophy test, but...

You know, you have
the right to a lawyer.

How we gonna find
a lawyer out here?

Don't worry, guys, I took a
semester of pre-law in high school.

Do you know the words
"due process"?

Do you know the words "Shut up"?

Yes, sir. I hear
them every day.

Well, I've got some more good
news and some more bad news.

And the bad news being?

The bad news is the car's
reported stolen

and you boys fit the
description of the three suspects.

Oh...

And the good news?

Oh, the good news is that
we transferred some prisoners,

so there's room
in the jail.

You're gonna put us in jail?

Lock 'em up, Dano.

I guess I can kiss that summer
job with the FBI goodbye.

Wow! I can't believe
we're in the big house.

Shut up, Screech.

Man, I gotta get out of here.

I'm supposed to get
married. I can't be in jail.

Hey, marriage is jail, buddy.

Hey, you guys wanna
keep it quiet over there?

I'm tryin' to work on a sonnet.

He's very rude, isn't he?

Yeah, you try tellin' him that.

What are you fellas in for?

Nothing.
It's a big mistake.

Me, too.

What'd they get you for?

I went for a drive with my wife.

Is that a crime?

Of course not.

They arrested you for that?

What'd your wife say?

Nothing.

She was in the trunk.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

And they call me a psycho.

Zack, I'm scared.

Oh, Lisa.

I don't believe this place!

All the lights, all the people!

This is so exciting.

Yes, the town that never sleeps.

Thanks for the ride, girls.

Oh, thanks for fixing our car.

Great talkin' to you, Lisa.

I'm sure we'll be
seein' more of each other.

Don't count on it.

I think he likes you.

Please, spare me.

Are you sure Zack
Morris hasn't checked in?

Sorry, but he
hasn't checked in yet.

I'll get someone to help
you to your room.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Hey, long time no see.

What are you doing here?

Just earning a livin'.

I bet you girls are big tippers.

So, where is Zack?

I'll bet he's getting cold feet.

Lisa, will you stop it?
You're making me nervous.

Zack has become a whole
new person since we fell in love.

He's mature and responsible.

Screech, could you
please stop that?

Hey, I like it.

Now, you play it again, Screech.

Thanks, Ray.

Anyone want to dance?

Now, he scares me.

Well, I just got
the word from Sacramento.

I guess that was your
car after all.

That's what I've been trying
to tell you all along, Sheriff.

We're innocent.

What about me?

You punched out an ATM machine.

That's a big no-no.

I'm surprised, Ray.

That's a big, big no-no.

Please, don't help me
out with my no-nos.

So we can go, right?

Mmm? Oh. Yeah.

Right after you appear in
court on your speeding violation.

Court? I can't
appear in court.

I have to get to Las Vegas
to get married.

Can't he just pay a fine?

We don't do that kind
of thing in this county.

'Course, I... might be able
to pull some strings.

Gonna cost you, though.

How much?

How much you got?

A lot.
Zack has $1,200!

Screech!

Well, is that a
coincidence or what?

Ha ha ha!

That's exactly what it costs.

C'mon, Sheriff,
you can't do this.

Well, you could spend your
honeymoon in here with Herb and Ray.

Do it, Zack!

There's no price
for freedom, man.

Sure, there is, Ray.
1,200 bucks.

So, Screech, where can
I reach you, man?

I'm in the book, Ray.

Ooh! Ahh...

Look at that.

The Considine Diamond.

That's four million dollars.

I think I'll wait till the
after-Christmas sale.

Someone's actually
gonna buy this?

Yes. My future husband.

Hey, let's not
wait for the guys.

Let's have some fun on our own.

All right.

What do you have in mind?

How would you like your
wedding present right now?

All right, guys, now, remember,

not a word to Kelly
about what happened.

I mean, if she knew that
our $1,200 wedding stash

is now 43 bucks, she'd k*ll me.

So, what kind of wedding are
you gonna have for 43 bucks?

Guess you're gonna have to
cut back on the ice sculptures.

Oh, well, thank you,
Mr. "Zack's got $1,200!"

Now, all I need to do
is just stall Kelly

so I can raise enough
money for the wedding.

What's that look for?

I'm in love.

Yeah, so what else is new?

Zack!

Hey, Kelly!

Hey!

You made it!

Of course.
We're sorry we're late.

We just got stopped for speeding

and we were hassled
by some country sheriff.

But, hey, nothing's gonna
stop me from getting married.

Oh, Zack, this town
is such a rush.

I can't wait to start
planning the wedding.

I have so many ideas. That
$1,200 is gonna go really fast.

You have no idea.

Hey, we're gonna
go get something to eat.

You owe me dinner, remember?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How could I forget?

You know, I'm not that hungry.

They fed us pretty well
in the slammer. Uhh!

What?

Uh, The Slammer. It was this
funky Tex-Mex place in Barstow.

Listen, you girls get started.

We'll just check in. We'll
meet you in the restaurant.

Okay.
See you later.

Guys, I gotta make
some money, and fast.

Hey, why don't you try
your luck at the tables?

Zack, you only have 40 bucks.

If you lose that, you won't be
able to afford lunch with Kelly.

And then she'd really
get suspicious.

See, man?
He's got a point.

You know what? I have some
friends who made big money

last summer caddying
for businessmen.

All you gotta do is carry their
clubs, keep their scores low.

You can make a couple
hundred a day on tips.

Hey, if we all do that
and pool our money together,

you can make your
1,200 back in no time.

- Yeah.
- Yeah! Yeah, sounds good.

All right, gentlemen,
let's hit the links.

Yes.

Remember, stay cool.

No problem.

We'll have
that money in no time.

Guys, here they come.

You guys ever caddy
this course before?

Oh... yes, sir.
Many times.

I'll take him.

Listen. We're playin'
for big money, kid.

So I want every
advantage I can get.

You get my drift?

Drift well taken, sir.

Ooh.

Do you know anything
about reading greens?

Well, I've cut a lot
of lawns in my time.

- So, I guess it's me and you.
- Yep.

- Can you swim?
- Why?

Uh! Oh...
this water's gross!

Whoa!

Yes!

Oh!
Good sh*t, sir.

That was a piece
of grass, you idiot!

Can't you keep quiet?

Sorry.

Stop!

What? What?

Oh, there was a ladybug
on your ball, sir.

I didn't want you to k*ll it.

Yech!

Eww.

- I'm all out of balls.
- No kidding.

Run down to the pro shop
and buy me a dozen.

St. John party, please
check in at the Pro Shop.

St. John Party,
to the Pro Shop, please.

Hey.

I saw you in the lobby
last night.

So, you work here?

Uh, yeah. Yeah,
I manage the Pro Shop.

I'm A.C. Slater.

Carla.

Well, Carla, I know we just met, but
I'm gonna be in town for a few days.

Maybe we can get
together sometime.

Um... thanks, but
I don't think so.

Will this be all?

For now.

Where are those caddies?

Zack, help!

Screech, slow down!

I can't!
The pedal's stuck!

Well, take your foot
off the pedal!

I did.
It's still stuck!

Put your foot on the brake!

It's not working, either.

- Watch out for the tree.
- Tree?!

Screech, put your--

I'm trying, Zack,
but I'm scared!

Don't be scared, buddy,
just grab my hand.

I can't, Zack,
it's going too fast.

Jump over here.
Jump on my cart.

All right, I'm next to you.
Reach my hand.

Come on! Come on!

All right, jump
in here, Screech!

Screech, bail!

That's $1,000 worth
of clubs, you morons!

You will never caddy
again in this country!

You're fired!

And you can tell that
other jerk he's fired, too.

Come on.

Oh, that feels great!

Has anyone seen my nose plugs?

We haven't had this
much fun since high school.

Yeah, and then you guys are
gonna go off and get married.

Hey.

I know.

Did I ever tell you I love you?

Oh, not in the last,
mmm... seven minutes.

Oh, I called
the wedding coordinator.

We're gonna meet her
tomorrow at 10.

I think it's gonna be really
nice if we just stretch our money.

Right.

What money?

Excuse me.

You're in my lounge.

Well, there's plenty
of room for two.

Sorry I was so, uh, abrupt
at the golf course.

No problem.

I like a challenge.

Well, that's good to know.

So, it must be pretty exciting
living here in Las Vegas, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

Sometimes a little too exciting.

What do you mean?

That's enough about me.

Tell me about you.

There you go.

Oh, Screech, I don't
know what to do.

Oh, definitely go with
the bananas and the nachos.

I'm not talkin'
about the food, idiot.

I'm talkin' about Kelly.

She wants to get married in two
days, and I'm completely broke.

You know, I couldn't
help but overhearing.

I tried not to hear, but the
words went right into my ear,

slammed against the ear drum.

I don't know, it's a curse.

Anyway, I'd like to help
the two of you out.

Have you two very
nice-looking gentlemen

ever considered a career in the
exciting and challenging field of, uh...

male escorts?

Actually... no.

Yeah, it's funny how you never see
a male escort booth on career day.

- Uh, thanks, but no, thanks.
- Here you go, guys.

Look, it's strictly
on the up-and-up.

You meet very nice people.

I said we're not interested.

Okay, suit yourself.

Starting salary is $200 a date.

I'm Zack Morris. This
is Screech Powers.

And I'm Bert.
Bert Banner.

But you can call me Bert Banner.

Oh, look at the two of you.

I bet you have to fight
the women off with a stick.

Well, with me, it's actually
more like a twig.

You're funny!

You're funny, and I like funny.

Look, this is a legitimate
operation I'm running here.

There's no, uh, you know,
hanky-panky going on.

It's just nice women who want nice
young men to show 'em around town.

When do you want to start?

The sooner, the better.

That's what I wanna hear.

When I get through
with the two of you,

you're gonna be smooth,
suave, and sophisticated.

Pickle?

So, how about dinner?

Um...

I'm not so sure
that's a good idea.

Come on, are you kiddin'?
It's a great idea.

Okay.

Okay. You're on.

All right.

We've got--

We'd better keep
our eyes on this guy.

You're right.
He could be trouble.

All right, let's go.
Come on.

Ooh, I like that
floral arrangement.

Oh, and of course, we can
color-coordinate that with the table cloth.

Oh! Kelly, I have found the
perfect wedding gown. Look at that.

Oh, you've got great taste.

Now, that dress is $3,000.

Thanks again, Lisa.

Ohhh...

sorry.

Hey, where is Zack?

He was supposed to
be here at 10.

He'll be here.

I don't know, Kelly. He
might be changing his mind.

After all, he is Zack.

Thanks for the reminder.

Look, if Zack isn't here, I'm
sure he's got a very good reason.

A, E,

I, O, U.

How now

brown cow?

Perfect.

You guys were born for this!

I knew I was born for something!

Well...

Now that we've mastered
posture and diction,

let's go over our manners.

What are our list of nevers?

Uh, never talk about yourself.

Right.

Never pick up a check.

Perfect!

And that's just
good life advice.

Never criticize, even if
she has lettuce in her teeth

or eyeliner on her nose.

Yes.

And never sneeze in her salad.

Mmm.

You'd be surprised
how often that happens.

- Eww.
- Yes.

Okay, let's have a dry run.

Now, Screech--

Oh, I hate that name.

Just call me Samuel, sir.

Samuel?
That's boring!

Sammy.

Sammy!

I like it!

Listen, sir, I'm late
for an appointment.

- When do we start?
- Tonight.

You're gonna be
meeting your date

at the Top of the Strip
restaurant at 8:00,

and be prompt.

Yes, sir.

Now, Sammy,

you be outside your hotel
at 6 p.m.

Don't forget -- 6:00.

A pink limousine
will pick you up.

A pink limo?

Wow! I've arrived!

Hi. Yeah, I know.

Where have you been?
You're an hour late!

I can explain.

This oughta be good.

I was running all around town
looking for the right tuxedo.

I mean, you have no idea.

What's the matter with you?

You've been acting funny
ever since you got here.

Is something wrong?

No! No, of course not.

You're not getting cold feet
about getting married, are you?

Oh, no, please.
Don't be crazy, Kelly.

I love you.

Well, this is really
starting to come together.

We can use the money we have
if we'll just be creative.

Very creative.

And we can get by
with finger foods --

no one eats at
weddings anyways --

and we can use the flowers
from a funeral

if the florist has one that day.

Well, let's keep a good thought.

Oh, I almost forgot!

I made dinner reservations
for tonight

at the most romantic
restaurant in Las Vegas.

- Top of the Strip.
- Oh, that's great.

What did you say?
Top of the Strip?

Yeah, 8:00.
Got the best table.

8:00?

Well...

Kelly, that's too late to eat.

You know, everybody knows
the real fresh food is just out by 6.

Let's just change
our reservation to 4.

4:00 dinner?

Gee, that's romantic.

What're you gonna do,
help them set the table?

Well...

Are you sure you're
not hiding something?

Of course not.

Top of the Strip, 8:00.

Okay.

Oh!

Hmm.

- Wah!
- Wooo!

Can I give you a hand
with those, ma'am?

You again?

So you're a doorman now?

Hey, I do a little bit
of everything.

I've been employee
of the month nine times.

That's great, because this
morning, you were a lousy waiter.

My breakfast was cold.

Come on, Lisa.
Give me a break.

I get off in a while.
How about dinner?

There's a $4.99 prime rib
dinner at the Hungry Steer.

Really?

Can I also hit the salad
bar and get two deserts?

Why not?
It's only money.

Okay.

But promise me
you won't wear sandals.

You're on.

Okay.

So, you're Sammy.

Aren't you a cute one?

Thank you, ma'am.

The name's Diana, love.

But you can call me Di.

Mmmm.

You smell divine.

What's that scent
you're wearing?

Oh, nothing. I spilled
Lavoris on my undershirt.

It becomes you, Sammy.

Well, thank you, Di.

Oooh!

You are such a hunk!

You must live in the gym.

No, not really.

But I can do five pull-ups.

Six if I get a boost.

I'll give you a boost, Sammy.

Oh, hey! Well!

Well, lookie there. Baywatch.

Cool! Heh.

Uhh!

Television's for the
masses, Sammy.

Not for evolved people like us.

What's your pleasure tonight?

Chamber music?
Opera?

Actually, I hear there's
a great video arcade downtown.

I know!
Do you tango?

Oh, Zack, this restaurant
is so romantic.

Oh... yeah, right.

Well, let's order.
Waiter! Waiter!

Zack, what's the big rush?

You got another date?

Another date?

Oh, that's--
that's a good one, Kel.

Oh, well, uh, listen,

I've gotta use the restroom.

I'll be back in a jiffy.

- Okay.
- Excuse me.

Oh, boy, she would
have to be gorgeous.

Phew.

Hello. I'm Zack Morris.
I'll be your...

escort for the evening.

Uh, if I can ask, why does
a great-looking woman like you

need to rent a date?

Excuse, um--

but speak just little English.

I Russian.

Oh.

I'm gonna kick
your butt, Bert Banner.

Bert Banner?

I kick your butt?

Yeah, yeah.

Excuse me.
I'll be right back.

Hi, Kel.

Hey, what took you so long?

Well, you know.
Men's rooms.

Lines, lines, lines.

Well, let's eat.
I'm starved.

Okay, know what I want.

Zack, slow down.

Let's enjoy the evening.

Ooh, great specials.

You know, the Russian
dish looks really good.

No, she doesn't.

So, my dad's in the army,

so I kind of grew up all over
the world before I moved to L.A.

Oh. Army brat, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.

But, hey, that's
just an expression.

So... I bet you had
a girl in every country.

No one special.

What about you?

Do you have a boyfriend?

Um...

No.

I'm back.

I kick your butt,

Bert Banner.

Very good.

But that expression
doesn't come up too often.

Listen, Katrina,
I have a confession.

You see, I like you, but
I'm gonna be married soon.

- Married?
- Yeah.

Me? You?

Shh!

Oh, no.

Shh.

I don't believe this.

Kelly, listen.
I can explain.

Oh!

You're the same old Zack.

Hitting on another girl
right in front of me.

You know, Lisa was right.

I've been kidding
myself all along.

No, no, no, Kelly.
You don't understand.

Yeah, I understand.

For the first time ever,
I understand.

You are scum.

And, you.

You home wrecker.

I kick your butt.

Oh, yeah?

You want to go for it right now?

- Kelly, stop it.
- Don't touch me.

I never want to see you again.

- Kelly.
- Go away.

Kelly, let me in.

C'mon, Kel, at least
give me a chance to explain.

What's to explain?

I saw you with
another woman, you creep.

She wasn't another woman.
She was my date.

I mean, just-- Not a real date.

C'mon, Kel. It's not
what you think! Just--

So. You're
a college wrestler.

Yep.

Well, I guess I'd better
watch out or you'll pin me.

Well, if I'm lucky,
you'll pin me.

Um, I know this really
great club downtown.

Would you like
to go dancing later?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd love to go dancing.

All right, Carla,
you've had your fun.

Now the game's over.
Let's go.

Would you leave me alone?

In a word, no.

Who is this guy?

I'm her boyfriend, pal.

Ex-boyfriend, and I told you
I don't want to see you anymore.

And I told you
that was unacceptable.

Well, listen, pal,

the lady said she doesn't
want to see you anymore.

And who are you,
her interpreter?

Yeah. I am.

Great, the high school jock
thinks he's a tough guy now.

Don't mess with me, kid.

Freddie, please.

Look, if you don't
leave us alone,

I'm gonna have
to escort you out.

You're gonna escort me out?

I would love to see that.

Come on, tough guy.
Come on.

I said, come on.

Oh, no.
Run!

- Why? He's not getting up.
- Run!

- Uh-oh.
- Come on.

Come on!

- Hey, boss.
- Go get him!

Hey, waiter.

Unhh!

Let me go!

Hey! What are you
doin'? Slow down!

Hey! What's goin' on?

Hurry!

Whoa.

Oh, boy.

Phew.

Ohhh...

All right, Carla,
what's goin' on?

The man you hit
is Freddie Silver.

He's a bad guy
with bad connections.

And when I found out
who he really was,

I broke up with him.

Yeah, well, he didn't
break up with you.

Oh, he's a
dangerous man, A.C.

Those two guys chasing us,
they're his bodyguards.

Great.

Uh, Hotel Security.
Open up.

You are good.

Hotel Security.
Open up.

Come on.

I got it.

- Zack!
- Oh, whoa!

Whoa!

Hey, Slater.

You got great timing.

Don't worry, buddy.
Just hang on, okay?

Everything's gonna
work out all right

if you just stay calm.

So just hang on.

Uhh-- Whoa!

Hold on.

Could you hurry it up a little?

Oh! Whoa!

Kelly!

Zack, what are you
doing out there?

I was comin' to see you.

Oh!

Oh, Zack, this is all my fault.

I should have just let you in.

Listen, Kelly,
that girl was nobody.

You see, we got stopped for
speeding, and we were taken to jail

because Slater cleaned out
his glove compartment,

and he took all my money,
and now I'm dead broke.

That's why I got the job as a male
escort so I could pay for the wedding.

Kelly, I love you.

You're the only girl for me.

Oh, Zack, I love you, too.

Listen, don't let go, okay?

Okay.

Oh, this is so romantic.

Who are you?

I'm Carla.
I'm Slater's friend.

Guys! We'll chat later, okay?

Zack, give me your hand.
I'm gonna pull you up, okay?

Come on. Ready?

All right. Come on. Pull.

- Got it?
- Okay.

Pull.
Ohhh...

I got you.

Ohhh...

You got it?
Okay. Ohhh...

Kel.

You should be hugging him.

Thanks, buddy.
All right, man.

- It's okay.
- What about her?

All right, Carla.
You ready?

Look, Zack, I don't
care if you're broke.

I mean, we'll just get married in
one of those funky little chapels.

A real quickie.

Yeah, well, it'll have to be a quickie,
'cause someone's tryin' to k*ll me.

What?

I am never vacationing
with you people again.

Now, Carla,
I still don't get it.

Now, why so much heat just
because I punched out your boyfriend?

Well, there's a little
more to it than that.

You see, a couple days ago,
I walked in on a conversation

I was never supposed to hear.

Oh, no.

Freddie came to Las Vegas
to steal the Considine Diamond.

Oh, I heard that
thing's worth millions.

Yeah, and the minute that I
learned what Freddie was up to,

I walked out.

Or I tried to walk out.

Now he's trying to shut me up.

Well, we gotta figure out a
way to get you guys outta here.

Yeah.

Got an idea.
Give me the phone.

Okay.

Follow me, and stay cool.

Uh, excuse me, sir.
Pardon me.

Uh, your car should
be here any minute.

I hope you've enjoyed your
stay here at the Stardust.

Zack, help!

Let me go!

This lady made me
tango against my will!

Don't go!

No, no, no, no!

Ooh!
There they are.

Come on, let's go.

Come on!
Come on!

Get in, Screech.

Hey, guys, wait
for me! Whoooa! Aah!

Ouch, my head!

Hey!
Hey, that's my cab!

I've seen those guys before.

They work for Freddie Silver.

Your friends are in big trouble.

Let's go.
We're goin' after 'em.

They're about a half a block
behind us in that yellow cab.

Come on, step on it, Zack!
They're gonna catch up!

I'm drivin' as fast as I can!

I don't get it. Why are you
two guys being followed?

It's a long story, Screech, but
these people are trying to k*ll us.

Whoa, I should have taken my
chances with that crazy tango lady.

I don't like this!

Faster! Can't you go any faster?

Can't you shut up? I'm
goin' as fast as I can.

If you'd let me drive, we
would've caught them by now.

You drive like a woman.

I'm gonna tell Freddie.

I'm gonna tell Freddie.

If you put your big head
down, you might be able to see.

I'm still gonna tell.

Will you shut up
and look for 'em?

I'm losing them!

I know a shortcut.

Hang a quick left and cut
through that parking lot.

We'll catch up
with them at the...

...next intersection.

Doesn't this Beamer come
with any air sickness bags?

Sorry.
Hang on.

Oh, man, a red light.

- Come on.
- Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no,
we gotta run for it.

There they are!
Let's go! Get 'em!

Hey, what are you doin', huh?

Let's go!

Hey!

Hey!

Wow!
It's Rodney! Ulp!

Ooh, ooh!
That's Dirty Harry.

I love him.

Yeah? Well,
I'm gonna make your day

if you don't stop with
that Dirty Harry stuff.

Come on, we gotta
find those kids.

All right, let's get
out of here.

I can't believe I came to
Las Vegas to get married

and now I'm runnin' for my life.

I know what you mean.

I have so much yet I
still have to accomplish.

Graduate college.
Climb Mount Everest.

Pass my driving test.

Why do they put those
driving cones so close together?

Screech, please, shut up.

Carla, did you try
goin' to the police?

I couldn't. I've been
followed 24 hours a day.

What are you people
doing in here?

These are--
These guys are chasing us!

And they're trying to k*ll us!

And I'm just a big Liberace fan.

Well, leave Liberace alone

and get outta here
before I call the cops.

Oh, could you call
the cops? Please?

Get out. Now!

Yeesh.

I guess we don't have
time to meet Marilyn Monroe.

- Out!
- Come on.

I don't see 'em!

Me, neither.

Man, keep lookin'.

Phew. That
was too close.

- Yeah, I'm so glad it's over.
- What a night.

Hey, that's them!

C'mon, let's get 'em!

C'mon, here.

Come on. Jeez. Come on.

Hey.

Come on, let's go!

There they are.
I see 'em.

Pull over there.

Let's go.
Come on!

Under here.

My whole life's
passing before my eyes.

You know, it's times like this
you realize what's important.

Isn't it something how women's feet
are so much more delicate than men's?

What's it like to be you?

That's funny, my dad
asked me that the other day.

Oops.

Oh!
Oh, my!

Whoa!

Oh, there they are.

Hey! Hey!
Over here!

Zack, there's no way outta here.

I want my mommy!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.

There might be a way.

Zack's got pretty nice legs.

Listen, we need to get
them out of here.

I know a shortcut from
the backstage. Come on.

Woo!

What do you think you're doing?

I'm calling Security.

Uh, we're Security.
Here.

Okay, we'll take care of 'em.

Oh, thank you.
That's very nice,

but we can take
care of ourselves.

Right this way, folks.

Well, well, well.

Hello, ladies.

You know, if you had just
wanted to get into show business,

you should've given me a call.
I could've pulled a few strings.

Little smudgey-smudgey
right there.

It's right there.

Freddie, let 'em go.
They're not a part of this.

She's right. We don't know
anything about anything.

And besides, we don't care if
you want to rob a jewelry store.

Tell you what.

Let us go, and do
whatever you want with him.

No one's goin' anywhere.

You give me one good reason why
I shouldn't k*ll all of youse right now.

The three strikes
and you're out rule?

Shut up, you idiot.

Look, sir, uh...

Zack and I, well, we're
supposed to get married.

You know, if you
could let us go...

Yeah, just us.

You are so... innocent.

I love that in a girl.

But, sorry, no one's
gettin' married.

Freddie, please, just--

Just nothing. I'm callin'
the sh*ts here now.

Mr. Silver, maybe I can
be of some help here.

Really?

And you would be, uh?

Curt Martin, sir.

My father owns the Stardust.

- Really?
- Really?

Curt, why didn't you
say something before?

I mean, all this time, I thought
you were just a lowly bellman.

Lisa, I don't believe in using
my father's money or influence.

Well, why not? It's the best
kind of money and influence.

You are so material.

You are just finding that out?

Excuse me.
Sorry to interrupt.

Put that in your
diary later on. Okay?

You, Martin, come here.

What can you do for me?

I've lived in the hotel
since it was built.

I know the entire
security operation.

I can get you
into the jewelry store,

and I can get you the
combination to the safe.

Well, there you have it.

Now, if you just let
us all go...

Not so fast, kid.

I'll do all that for you,

but I want you to let
everyone else go,

even Carla.

That is so... noble.

How do I know this
whole thing ain't a trap?

Yeah.

I don't need your help.

All right, I tell you
what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna take you
up on your offer.

But nobody goes nowhere until we
get the diamond and we get away.

As a matter of fact, youse
are all gonna come with.

Why?

Because you'll make great
hostages in case there's trouble.

Come on, let's go,
hot sh*t. You're on.

Get us into that safe.

I just want to let you know,
if anything happens to us,

my aunt happens to be
Attorney General Janet Reno.

I'm shakin', kid.

Come on, come on.
Let's go.

Bingo. Oh, what a haul.

There's no reason to leave
any of this stuff laying around.

Come on in.
You, watch them two.

Get over there. Come
on. Get over there.

You, too.
Get over here.

Get over there!

You guys aren't gonna
get away with this.

You better hope we
get away with this.

Hey, Slater,

you think that g*n
has paint in it?

I don't know. Why
don't you ask him?

Hey, does that g*n sh**t paint?

No, stupid, it sh**t b*ll*ts.

You want to see?

You know, this is
all your fault.

My fault? Hey, you're the
one who dragged us to Vegas.

Hey, it was your girlfriend
who got us here in the first place.

Hey, stop it, the both of youse.

Let me handle this. You
gotta know how to talk to 'em.

Hey, stop it, the both of youse.

You know what? You're
really starting to make me mad.

Guys, you're gonna
ruin my clothes!

All right, that's it.
Break it up!

Break it-- That's--

Oh!

Ohh!
Come on!

Get him!
Get him!

All right, Curt.

You guys, that was great!

Yeah, who would've thought that that stupid
Three Stooges routine would work again?

Hey, I've always said
that Moe was a genius.

Well, I thought it
was pretty brave.

Did I ever tell you
that bravery turns me on?

- Mmm.
- Ohhh...

This is Security. We have a
break-in in the jewelry store.

I need full response.

Roger.
Full response--

Hey, is there another
vault we can put them in?

And by the power invested in me,

I now pronounce
you man and wife.

May you live long and have
many children together.

Number 61!

Bingo.

Hey, it's you.

Hey, it's you.

What are you doin' here?

Oh, I have a lot
of service businesses.

I have a used car lot
and a funeral parlor.

You'd be surprised how many
people drop dead in Las Vegas.

Well, we'll just
take the wedding.

Listen, uh, Kel,

I know this is not
how you planned it,

but I promise,
I'll make it up to you.

The important thing is,
we're getting married.

That is the important thing.

But here's something
a little more important.

I'll need the marriage
license and 50 bucks.

And not necessarily
in that order.

You know, if you want
to make it 55,

I could throw in
a shiatsu massage.

No.

Uh, okay. Uh,

do you, Zack Morris,

and you, Kelly Kapowski,

promise to love and to cherish,

in health and sickness,

in sickness and death,

in death and rigor mortis,

and then come back and
wander the earth as zombies?

Uh, just say, "I do."

Uh...

I do.

Survey says, right answer,

so, if nobody objects,
I now pronounce you--

I object.

What do you object to?

No son of mine is gonna get
married in a cheesy place like this.

But I just redecorated.

Zack, Kelly, I, uh...

I want you to have
a real wedding.

Oh... Dad, I don't
know what to say.

Glad you changed your mind.

Well, I got some last minute
wisdom from an old friend.

I had to call him.

I'm glad you did.

Guys, give your mom
and me a couple of days,

and we'll have
a first-class wedding.

I've already started
the ball rolling.

I think this belongs to us.

Boy, I should stick to funerals.

They never ask for refunds.

Oh, well.

Number 62!

All right, do your
thing there...

Thanks, Dad.

This is so beautiful.

I know.
I love weddings.

I was their suite mate
at college.

I was their principal.

Oh.

Would you two just cut it out?

I was their resident
advisor, you know.

I kind of introduced them.

They met in my school.

Shh.

We're gathered here today
to witness the union

of two very special people:

Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski.

Wait!
Wait for me!

Jessie!

Wait!

Jessie! How'd you get here?

Well, when Zack's mom called,

I took the first flight
out of New York.

I couldn't let you guys
get married without me.

Well, what about your finals?

So I'll go to summer school.

There are things more
important than a test.

Oh!

I'm glad you're here.

Oh.

As I was saying...

Zack and Kelly.

Two people destined
for each other.

May I have the ring, please?

Screech. Give him the ring.

Oh.

Well, I had it a minute ago.

It's on your hand.

Sorry.

Do you, Kelly, take Zack to be
your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

Do you, Zack, take Kelly
to be your lawful wedded wife?

I do.

By the power vested in me
by the state of Nevada,

I now pronounce you
man and wife.

Yay!

Well, you may kiss the bride.

All right, Zack!

Congratulations!

Alex, I can't
believe you made it.

Ohhh!

I would not miss seeing
Zack commit to one woman.

All right, all right. I get
enough of that from Lisa.

Be happy, and don't forget, I'm
right across the campus from you.

Hey.

- Hey.
- Congratulations!

Thanks, Mike.

Thank you, Mike.

I tell you what, though. I'm really
gonna miss you guys in the dorm.

Well, you know, if it'll
make you feel any better,

you can come to our
apartment once a week

and yell at us
for being too messy.

Count on it.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Hey. Mr. Belding,

we are so touched
that you came to our wedding.

Well, you have always
been special to me.

And, Zack,
if it wasn't for you,

I'd have a lot more hair
and a few less ulcers.

What can I say, sir?

You made high school
challenging.

I did?
Thanks, Zack.

Best of luck, you two.

And don't forget to
come visit me at Bayside.

Come here.

Ohhh...

- Zack.
- Yeah?

You better take care of
her, or you will hear from me.

Anything but that.

I promise, Jessie, I will.

Well...

Mrs. Morris.

What can I say?

Uh...

I would just like to say to
all our family and friends

how happy Kelly and I are
that you could all be here today.

You've made this truly special.

And please,
don't be strangers.

We want to see all of you
in our new apartment.

But not at the same time.

Thanks, you guys.

We love you all.

Uh, I'd like to say a few
words about Zack and Kelly.

You're the best friends
a guy could have.

I wish you all the things
I wish for myself,

and may you live in
happiness forever. Hear, hear.

Hear, hear.

I can't tell you how proud
the two of you have made us.

Oh, thanks, Mom.

We love you, honey.

I love you, too, Daddy.

Hey, guys!

How are you?

Hey!

Oh, you're so big!
You look so handsome!

Mom.

- See you later.
- Okay.

Why am I surprised?

You've always been there for me.

Hey, it's your life.

Who am I to tell you
how to live it?

I have a lot of faith
in you, Zachary.

Zachary.

You haven't called me
that since I was a kid.

I love you, son.

I love you, Dad.

Whoa, what is with you?

Oh, Curt's taking me
to the Indian reservation,

so I thought I'd
dress appropriately.

She'll fit right in,
don't you think?

Look at you.

You have gone off
and got yourself married!

I knew you'd be the first.

And, you!

You sure fooled me.

I love you guys.

Aw, we love you.

Best of luck.

Hey, thanks for everything, man.

Bye.

Take care, you guys.
Have fun.

Buh-bye.

Oh, guys, I'm lousy
at goodbyes.

Have a nice life.

Bye!

- Hey, buddy, come on.
- Screech!

Hey, we're gonna see
a lot of you.

But promise you'll call first?

What can I say, man?
It's the end of an era.

It's been great, huh?

I'm gonna miss you.

Hey, it's not over.

I'm sure the little lady's gonna
let me out once in a while.

If you're good.

Oh, if I'm good, huh?

Well, Carla's gonna come back
to L.A. with me for a couple days.

Oh.

Congratulations, you guys.

I'm so sorry I put
you through this.

Hey, it's okay.
Everything worked out,

and now we have a new friend.

Good luck, buddy.

Take it easy.

Bye, Kelly.

- Bye.
- Take care of him.

Bye.

Okay, I'm gonna throw
the bouquet now.

- All right! Ready!
- Get it!

Oh...

Screech!

Why me?

Why do I have to be
the only one without somebody?

Sammy!

There you are!

Hey, you stay away from me!

My feet are still
swollen from that tango!

Oh, give me another
chance, Sammy!

We're meant for each other!