01x07 - All the Wrong Moves

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Kickin' It". Aired: June 13, 2011 - March 25, 2015.*
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Follows a crew of lovable misfits- Jack, Jerry, Milton and Kim - and their Sensei Rudy - at Bobby Wasabi Martial Arts Academy.
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01x07 - All the Wrong Moves

Post by bunniefuu »

Guys, I got us the
opportunity of a lifetime.

We're gonna be rich!

For the last time, your
mom's car has a leak.

There's no oil under your house.

No, I signed us up for the battle.

Of the dance crews competition
at the mall. Check it.

Whoa, first prize wins $ , .

It's not just about the money.
I've always loved dancing.

You know, when I was a baby, my mom
hung a disco ball over my crib.

Did it ever fall on your head?

Did what ever fall on my head?

Jerry, that sounds great,

But we're not a dance crew.

I have the skills and
I'll teach you the moves.

And if we work hard, we
can win this together.

- Now what do you say?
- I'm in.

- Okay. Absolutely.
- Let's do it.

Okay.
Jerry, you got yourself a crew.

Yeah.
Wasabi?

- Wasabi.
- Whoo-oo!

♪ don't you
get all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you
come kick it with me? ♪

♪ and we can have a ball,
run up the wall ♪

♪ this is how we do ♪

♪ and no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪

♪ it's not as cool
as kickin' it with you ♪

♪ here we go,
let's start the party ♪

♪ chop it up
like it's karate ♪

♪ everybody ♪

♪ don't you
get all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you
come kick it with me? ♪

♪ and we can have a ball,
run up the wall ♪

♪ this is how we do ♪

♪ and no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪

♪ it's not as cool
as kickin' it with you. ♪

Is this just me or these falafel balls
greasier than usual?

No, that looks about right.

Yo, check it out.

That's Dan Brennan.
He's the best dancer at our school.

- They call him smooth.
- Ooh, nice.

Because he's got great dance moves?

And his skin's crazy soft.

Yo, we're talking velvet.

Hey, Jerry.

- Jack.
- Eh.

I heard you for the dance contest.

You know my crew,
win every year. S,

Yeah, I know.
Every yeare you win.

It doesn't mean other people shouldn't try.

Tsch.
Yeah, it kind of does.

See, I suggest you leave the dancing to us.

And stay in your little karate club.

You know, we're not just a karate club.

We also offer free
with bad nicknames.E.

You should come by
and see us, smooth.

You guys are just gonna
embarrass yourselves.

You might have some moves,

But can you move like smooth?

Hut!

Yo, I can move like smooth.

It's just a split.
I can do a split.

Check it.

I think your pants
just ripped.

That wasn't my pants.

♪ hey! ♪

♪ come on! ♪

Sorry I'm late, Rudy.
Just give me a minute.

And then we can get started.

I'm sorry.
Who's he?

I don't know his name!

I mean, what... what are
you doing with it?

I bought a case of inflatable
men to sell to the police.

I thought they could put 'em in squad
cars so people wouldn't speed.

That's actually brilliant.
What'd they say?

They said if I didn't leave
with my man balloon,

They'd lock me up.

In business you need to be creative.

When life gives you lemons, what do you do?

Make lemonade.

No, that's...

That's ridiculous.
Why would you do...

Lemons can be used to make lemonade.

Marge, what would you say if I told you.

That I can take you and your inflatable
friend here to the next level?

We're listening.

Okay. Well, what if
we dress him up.

As something other than a cop?
Say, uh...

...A ninja.

Yeah. If you had
a ninja with you,

People wouldn't dare messing with you.

Perfect for ladies that have to
take the bus home late at night.

Yeah. And we can put an
inflation device in him.

So he only blows up when you need him.

That way he could stay small and people
could place him in their pocket.

Ooh! You know what we can call it?
Ooh! Wait wait...

- Pocket ninja.
- No-no, no-no.

No no no, no no no, no no no.

The name's gotta pop, you know,
something people will remember.

How about tiny pants friend?

Pocket ninja it is.

♪ kickin' it with you! ♪

oh, yeah. All right,
now let's do the whole thing.

From the top.

Hey, where'd Kim go?

She wanted to change into her dance gear.

Okay, let's do this!

What? This is
how dancers dress.

Maybe in the ' os in Poland.

Come on, guys. We've got a lot of work to do.
Are you ready?

- Yeah.
- I wanna see this.

I can't hear you.

Really?
'cause that was pretty loud.

I think you might have some hearing loss.

All right. Here we go.
Whoo-oo!

Whoa whoa whoa.

Okay, I taught you this.

You guys are doing this!

Come on, guys, don't you have
any dancing experience at all?

Well, uh...

I have my own victory dance I
do every time I win a match.

Ready?

If that's your victory dance, I'm
gonna start rooting against you.

It's been a while since
I've danced onstage,

But I think I'm just
as good now as I was then.

Milton, tell me there's a dancer
hiding in there somewhere.

Oh, believe you me, I have
bustmany a move.

Eddie, please give me some good news here.

Well, I did go to Mrs.
King's dance academy.

Eddie, I don't know how to tell you this,

But you are never going
to be a good dancer.

Oh, that's okay.
I don't come here for the dancing.

Okay, this isn't working.

Come on, guys, this is important to me.

You gotta start trying.

- Whoa, we're trying.
- Yeah.

Maybe we should just take a break.

Fine, but before you go, think about this.

When you dance, you gotta totally feel it.

When I dance, I'm not
thinking about anything.

My head is absolutely empty.

Right, like right before an algebra test.

Hey, you guys better be ready
to work when you get back.

Is dancing so hard?

What's up, Jerry?

Smooth. Whaare
you doing here?

That was a pretty crazy move I saw you do.

I've been working on it for a long time.

I call it "the Jerry."

How'd you come up with that?

Well, I'm Jerry
and I added the "the."

Ladies, thanks for coming today.

And a special shoutout to Marge.

For letting us use the
cafeteria after hours.

Thank you, Rudy.

If you see a cockroach in
here, don't mess with it.

We're in their house.

Now we are offering a security system.

With a level of protection.

That you have never experienced before.

I give you...

...The pocket ninja.

You can't put a price on the security.

- That the pocket ninja will bring you.
- But we did anyway.

And that price
is $ . .

Girls, you're gonna love your pocket ninja.
He's dependable,

- He's reliable.
- Is he a good kisser?

You can put him in your house.

So an intruder can see him through
the window and get scared off.

You can seat him in the
passenger seat of your car.

- When you have...
- No one to talk to.

No. Yes.

If you wanna talk to him, you can.

If you wanna imagine that
he's talking to you, you can.

He's never too busy for you and
he will never ever judge you.

Hmm-mm.

Well, I'll take one!

- Wrap him up!
- Sold!

Rudy, I think we're gonna
sell all of these.

Why sell when you can sell million?

I think you know what I'm talking about.

An infomercial?

Yeah.

Yeah. That's... that's what I was
gonna say... an infomercial.

I wasn't for a moment talking.

About putting million in a shopping cart.

And selling them door to door.

I mean, that would be insane.

Take back the shopping cart.

♪ it's not as cool
as kickin' it with you. ♪

Look, you got talent,

But you're wasting it trying to make
dancers out of a bunch of karate rats.

Hey, those are my friends!

But go on.

Let me ask you something.

Are you the best karate
student in that dojo?

No. Jack is.

Well, I'm gonna give you the chance
to be the best at something.

Jerry, I want you in my crew.

You in?

Yeah.

I guess so.

Wow, even your hands are smooth.

Dude, what your secret?

I make my own cocoa butter.

Jerry, what are you doing here?
We were waiting for you back at the dojo.

A little change of plans...
Jerry's a part of my crew now.

He wants to dance with the best.

What?!

Jerry, is that true?

Yeah, it is true.

Hey, smooth's
a great dancer.

And he's my only real sh*t to
be a part of a winning crew.

So you would rather win
than be with your friends?

Look, it's not about winning, okay?

This guy also makes his own cocoa butter.

- Up. Yeah-ah!
Let's do this. - Okay!

- Man, you guys have it all...
- Yeah.

...Sweet dance studio,
air-conditioning,

Your own bottled water.

Yo, this cocoa butter could really
knock the Ash off my elbows.

Whoa!

Nobody touches my cocoa butter.

So this is the new guy.

Well, he don't look like much.

Back off, Benny.
Jerry's been showing me.

This crazy move for the last two hours.

That's gonna win us the contest.
Let's show 'em.

- That's right.
- I've gotta give it to you, man.

That was... was
a pretty sweet move.

Yeah, I'm gonna use it to win the contest.

What?! You're not
gonna use my move.

It's not your move.

It's called "the smooth."
see... see what I did was,

I took "the Jerry," took out "jerry"

And replaced it
with "smooth."

I guess I don't need you anymore, Jerry.

See ya.

You just got smoothed.

- Heh!
- Whoo-oo!


Oh man,

He stole
my "whoo-oo" too.

I'm going to have to ask you to stop that.

I'm on a date!

Sorry for that terrible interruption.

Well, if it isn't eggs Benedict.

You mean Benedict Arnold?

No, I don't think I do.

Should you be practicing with
your new smooth dance friends?

They're not my friends.

Smooth just used me to steal my move.

- They stole the Jerry?
- Yeah.

And it's not called the Jerry anymore.

Now it's called the smooth.
He just named it after himself.

Ah, zero imagination.

Jerry, you got us so excited
about this dance thing.

You said we were gonna do it
together and then you bailed on us.

Yeah.

Look,

I'm never gonna be great at karate or...

Or a great school person.

- Student.
- Whatever.

Dancing is the one thing
I'm really good at.

And I just wanted everyone to see that.

But you guys are my friends.

And I shouldn't have walked out on you.

So I'm sorry.

Jerry, wait!

If you still wanna be in the contest,

- We'll be your crew.
- Really?

Yes, the kid is back in the game.

- You guys are awesome!
- Not at dancing.

- We still stink.
- Yeah, would you excuse me, please?!

I'm on a date!

♪ kickin' it with you! ♪

I gotta be honest.
I'm a little nervous.

Millions of people are gonna see this.

See, that's the difference
between you and me, Marge.

I don't get nervous.
I'm cool as a cucumber.

Besides, if we mess up,

They'll simply stop the cameras,
and we'll start over.

- It's not like we're doing it live.
- ( Bell rings )

We're live in five seconds.

What?!

- And four, three, two, and...
- No-no, I can't do live.

Say something..

Jah-ah-hh.

Hi to my tv friends.

Jah-ah-hh.

D... do... do you
you had a ninja? Hat

I know I do!

I do!

Well, now you can new productmazing.

- Called the ninja pocket.
- Pocket ninja.

Pocket ninja!

Well, tell us new product works.

Why are you asking me?

I bet it's easy and quick.

And ready in a flash, huh?

Okay.

Um um, simply um...

Pull the ninja out.

And pull
it's easy. Watch. Rd.

See? It's ready
in a flash.

Come on.

Come on!

Get it together!
You are embarrassing us.

This piece of junk doesn't work!

I mean, ta-da!

- What is happening?!
- They must be heating up under the lights!

Whoa.

I'm gonna be a lunch lady forever!

Mommy!

- I guarantee you'll love.
- Pocket ninja! Ket.

Pocket ninja!

Wow, how about that?

Come on, people, give it up
for the stepbrothers.

Did you see that last move?

That was crazy! Then how do you
come up
with something like that?

- By stealing it.
- Yeah!

Now let's give it up for the
last act of the competition...

The Wasabi warriors.

Good luck with your little
loser friends, Jerry.

I just crushed it.
I better go clean out my pockets.

To make room for my prize money.

I wouldn't do that just yet, smooth.

We've got a routine that is pretty swag.

I told you before, those
guys aren't dancers.

All they know about is karate.

Exactly.

Dude, we're on!

( synthesized music playing )

Oh-hh, hyah!

Ooh!

( cheering )

It's time for your new move, man.
It's all you.

- Yeah.
- Let's go.

Wasabi!

Wow, that was awesome.
I have the judges' results.

The winner of the trophy
and the $ , prize.

Is...

The stepbrothers!

Whoo-oo!

I thought you guys were awesome.

- Hmm. - I was proud to
have you as my crew.

This year, the judges are also awarding.

A trophy for best individual dancer.

And the winner is...

...Jerry Martinez!

What?! Jerry?
He's not that great.

I can do what he did.
Watch this.

Whoa!

Eh, not very smooth,
smooth. Whoo-oo!

Yeah, that's right.
I'm taking my "whoo-oo" back.

Uh, yeah, I'd like to thank my mom, my dad,

Rudy, my crew.
Couldn't have done it without you guys.

Oh, and uh one last thing
I'd like to say is,

Five, six, seven, eight, and...

♪ kickin' it with you! ♪

Is the good thing that ** agree to take these back?

Oh...

♪♪. What's wrong?

You asked me!

My little ninja is gone.

What do you mean by gone?

♪♪ the windown.

♪♪.

Why does it always end this way? Why?

Girl, it's not your fault.

I wish ** the windown.

Hey **... Have you meet my friend, **?

♪♪.

So suddenly.

Why don't ** go get a frozen yogurt?

Oh... So **, tell me everything about yourself.

Girl, he's no good anyway. Come on!

Oh my gosh!
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