01x08 - Ricky Weaver

[bunniefuu]

Man, I can't handle health class anymore.

Yeah, I took that class. When they showed
the video of the whale having a baby

I almost gave birth to my lunch.

Well, grace asked me to be
her health class partner.

We had to take care of an egg and
pretend that it was our baby.

- How'd that work out for you?
- Yo, I couldn't take the pressure.

This morning I snapped, fried
up our baby and ate it.

Big news, everyone.
Big news!

Thanks to a winning essay by Kim Crawford,

Our school has won a concert.

From international mega
pop star Ricky Weaver!

Carry on.

I can't believe I won!

Well, wait.
Kim, you're into Ricky Weaver?

Uh, no.

- I'm not even sure who
Ricky Weaver is. - Eh.

Really, Kim?
'cause your locker e fan.

Dude.

Thanks a lot, grace.

Fine.

I love him.
J downloaded all of his music.

And now I'm gonna meet him.

Ricky!

I'm beginning to think
she knows who Ricky is.

Mm.

Jerry, we have health class next period.

Where's our baby?

♪ don't you get
all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you
come kick it with me? ♪

♪ and we can have a ball,
run up the wall ♪

♪ this is how we do ♪

♪ and no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪

♪ it's not as cool
as kickin' it with you ♪

♪ here we go,
let's start the party ♪

♪ chop it up
like it's karate ♪

♪ everybody ♪

♪ don't you
get all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you
come kick it with me? ♪

♪ and we can have a ball,
run up the wall ♪

♪ this is how we do ♪

♪ and no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪

♪ it's not as cool
as kickin' it with you. ♪

Hyah!

Pretty good.
Solid contact, great form.

Just try to bring your foot
down a little lower.

Okay, a little too low.

Hi. Oh, yeah.

I mean, who knows, grace?

He could part his hair
on the left or the right.

That's just what makes Ricky Ricky.

I can't believe because of you.

That overgelled pretty boy
is coming to our school.

I think he's got a doll's head.

Jack, it's so predictable
be jealous of Ricky.Would.

What?! I'm not...

- I'm not jealous!
- Mm-hmm.

I just don't get what the big deal is.

Yeah, I don't get a girl see in him?

I have everything he does.

Really? You have talent, good
looks and a private jet?

Well, I have talent, good looks.

And my sister's
three-speed bike.

Ooh!

You guys sound like a bunch of haters.

You know, back in the day I was
the lead singer in a boy band.

Mm-hmm.

What?
Straight up, yo.

I was into a tight little
outfit called "just us guyz."

With a "z."

That's what made it cool.

Check it.

♪ uhhh ♪

♪ hush, girl, don't tell no one else ♪

♪ it's called a secret,
so keep it to yourself ♪

♪ secret, mm mm ♪

♪ shhh. ♪.

Wow, just... wow!

I know what your secret was.

- You were awesome!
- Yeah, man, that was great!

Well, there's more where that came from.
Uh, unfortunately,

It's on a cassette thstuck in my
car's tape deck for five years,

- But you guys wanna hear it?
- Come on, let's go.

Uh, you guys go ahead.
I'm good.

Rudy, what's a cassette?

I'm looking for Kim Crawford.

Uh, I know you.
Uh, you're the guy.

Uh, what is it?

Ricky Weaver!

What's up, Kim?

Guys, it's cool.
Wait in the limo.

I thought I'd stop by and
say hey before the show.

Ricky, you're...
you're... you're...

You're here.
You're standing in our dojo!

Uh uh, Ricky, this is, uh...

- Uh... -
- Jack.

- Jack, that's it.
- Ah, what's up?

I'd like to bring you up
onstage tonightou wrote,

- To dance with me.
- I'm gonna... I'm gonna be dancing with you.

In front of the whole school?!

This is gonna make grace's head explode!

Wow!

Smooth.

Jack!

Kim, just make sure
you wear something cute.

Cute? Of course
I'll wear something cute.

I'm not gonna go up there
not wearing something cute.

I just gotta find something cute.
I'm gonna go to the cute store.

Am I saying out loud?
Uh uh, I gotta go.

Bye, Kim.

Seriously, I will hurt you.

Serioh ha-ha-ha.
I Wii knew it was you!

This day, today is a crazy day.

Can you believe it, Jack?!
Ricky Weaver is right here in our mall!

This is falafel Phil.
He owns the restaurant across the way.

Ricky Ricky Ricky Ricky Ricky,

You must come
to my store Ana picture with me.

Next to my shawarma meat.

I'd love to take a picture,
but really gotta get going.

- Maybe I can come back.
- Whoa, ho-ho-ho-ho whoa, wait.

Hey, what happened to you, huh?

We were just having moments of good time.

And now the walls come down
and I'm just a crazy meatman.

With a goat friend in the kitchen?

You've got a goat in your kitchen?

Uh, what?
Did I say goat?

No no no no, I meant microwave.

Is okay. You go.

When you come back, I'm going
to name a kabob after you...

"Ricky on a sticky."

Oh, this is great one.
It is going to sell.

Even more than falafel on a waffle.

Okay. So uh,
you met Phil.

Oh man, the paparazzi showed up.

How do these guys find me?

Dude, you've got a purple
hummer with spinning rims.

And a license plate
that says "weaver mobile."

I'm gonna make a ru.
Later.

- There here is.
- Ricky Ricky.

Hope you don't mess up
your pretty doll hair.

Okay, guys, that's enough.
Come on!

Ricky, we'll tell you when it's enough.
Just come over here.

- Right there, right there.
- Over here, over here.

Hey hey, come on, guys. Take it easy.
You heard the man. He wants to leave.

Won't you mind your own business, punk?

- You wrecked a good sh*t. - Shoving?
You see, I'm not a fan of the shoving.

Wow, you just took out six guys.

Seven, actually.

But who was
cheeseburgers?, right? De.

Yeah, sure.
Who doesn't like cheeseburgers?

I can't believe we went to San
Francisco for a cheeseburger!

What's the fun in having a
private jet if you don't use it?

Ah. Thanks,
beautiful.

How about some music?
Do you like jaz?

Sure. Who doesn't
like jay-z?

Yo, jay-z, when you get out of the hot
tub, come up here and jam with us.

Yeah, right.

Hey, beyonce, why don't you
bring us up some peanuts?

Forget that.

I just got
in the hot tub.

My bad, b.

♪ kickin' it with you! ♪

Kim, you gotta take this seriously, okay?

Dancing in public is a big deal.

- If you mess up, you're gonna look stupid.
- Miltohe's.

Sometimes when you throw
your hands in the air.

And wave 'em like you just don't care,

Your pants fall down.

Fine.
Let's practice.

Cool. I'll be Kim.
You'll be Ricky.

How about I be Kim
since I alreaam Kim?

Mm, my way's better, but that works too.

Okay. Help her out, guys.
You're in the crowd, so...

So everybody give me some of
that "I love ricky" energy.

- 'kay?
- Mm-hmm.

Ricky!

Impering, panting )

♪ when the day turns cold ♪

♪ and the skies are gray

♪ I'll always be there ♪

♪ I'll always be there ♪

♪ when you walk alone ♪

♪ on day... ♪

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!

- What'd you call that?
- Uh, dancing.

Uh uh uh uh uh uh.

That was not dancing.

That was a crime against dancing.

For your information, when I dance,

People stop and stare.

Oh, really?
Do they look like this?

You know,

We're better that that tool Ricky Weaver.

I mean, we've got the moves and I...

I've certainly got the looks.

You know, we could start
a group and be the ones.

With the money and the girls.

Yeah, all we need is a lead singer.

Hey guys, check it out.

I found the dope gear I used to
rock when I was in just us guyz.

Rudy, we want to form a boy band.

How about you join us?
You've been where we want to go.

Whoa whoa whoa.

Just us guyz was the
most popular act ever.

Among my family members.

Oh, and when that band broke
up, it broke my heart.

I don't know if I've ever
really gotten over it.

It will take a lot for me
to come out of retirement.

- You can be the lead singer.
- I am in!

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Oh! Huh,
Mr. Weaver,

I was getting a little worried.
The show starts in an hour.

I had Ernie the janitor
standing by to take your place.

He's never really given
up on his rock dream.

Ernie?
Not gonna happen.

Hey, have a great show, Ricky.
And thanks for the cheeseburger.

Oh, and thank jay-z
for signing my barf bag.

Yo, hang on, Jack.

Can I ask you something about Kim?

If it's about the whole...

...Thing, it's
new to me too.

She's just so psyched that
she won the essay contest.

Ah, it's not really a contest.

My record company makes me do
these dumb school concerts,

So I just go through the pictures.

And pick out the hottest girl.

You know what I'm saying?!

W-wait, so that's why Kim won?

Because she's the hottest girl?

Yeah. Why?
You guys don't have a thing, do you?

No.

Cool. Because
after I dance with her,

I'm gonna bring her backstage,
make my move on her,

Then dump her.

Ricky, the ?? Team's chopper just
landed on the football field.

Probably for the best, we're
losing by points anyway.

Ricky is a sleazebag.

I've gotta tell Kim.

Let it go, Ernie.
It's not gonna happen, okay?

♪ kickin' it with you! ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

give it up for the black belt boys.

- Singing their brand-new
hit "love ninja."

♪ you snuck into my heart
just like a ninja ♪

♪ I'ma buy you Sushi with some "ginja" ♪

♪ one day I'll put a ring
around your "finja" ♪

♪ you're my love ninja ♪

♪ my samurai, you're my love ninja ♪.

You're my love ninja ♪
♪ my samurai,

♪ my samurai ♪

♪ if I can't hagirl ♪

♪ I will die. ♪.

Nice! We are
tight, all right.

And out of sight!

It's just a thing we used
to say back in the day.

By "the day" do you mean the s?

I think we sound pretty good.

Good? Dude,
we're total swag!

You can't keep making up words.

And hope they catch on.

Yo, why gotta come at me
with all that flidge?

Now we just need a place to play.

No, have it. Ricky Weaver's
gonna launch our careers.

We're gonna open for him
tonight at the school.

Clearly, we're the greatest musical act.

In the history of the world,

But how are we gonna get on that stage?

Security's gonna be alalalalalall over.

No. Security
won't be a problem.

You guys are not just musical artists.

You are martial artists.

Now what's the name of our song?

- "love ninja"?
- I can't hear you.

- "love ninja"! - And that's exactly
how we're gonna take the stage...

Ninja style!

♪ kickin' it with you! ♪

Oh. Kim,
there you are!

Wow!

I've never seen you in a dress before!

- Are you wearing lip gloss?!
- No!

Why? Does it
look okay?

There's something you
should know about Ricky.

The contest you won was a fake.

He just looked at your picture
and thought you were cute.

Ricky is not that shallow, Jack.

He seriously thought I was cute?

After the concert he's
gonna take you backstage,

Make a move on you and then dump you.

He din every city.

I know what this is about, Jack.

You don't like Ricky, so you're
making up lies about him.

To make him sound like
some kind of monster.

He is a monster!

A private-jet-flying,
San Francisco burger-buying.

And hot-tub and
doll-haired monster!

Okay, that's just a big bowl of word salad!

♪ and no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪

♪ it's not as cool
as kickin' it with you! ♪

you guys are gonna make
the greatest entrance ever!

Here's the plan...
when you hear me say,

"give it up for the black belt boys,"

You jump on the ziplines, fly through
the air and land on the stage.

Rudy, I have to hold my mother's
hand when I cross the street,

So flying through the air is the
kind of thing she wanna know about.

Guys, it's a zipline.

How hard can it be?
You just get on it, you know,

Zip!

Why aren't you zipping with us?

We're feet up in the air!
Are you crazy?!

Nos give it up for our
beloved school mascot.

Whaley the whale!

Yo yo yo!
What's up, seaford?

Are you ready to party?

Security!

All right, before we bring our Ricky,

Put your hands together for
the newest music sensation.

Singing "love ninja,"

Give it up for the black belt boys!

♪ you snuck into my heart
just like a ninja... ♪.

Let go!

Shh, black belt boys, out!

Uh, okay, I don't know ífwhat thwas,

But now for the person

Ricky Weaver!

♪ when the day turns cold ♪

♪ and the skies are gray ♪

♪ I'll always be there ♪

- Excuse me.
- ♪ I'll always be there... ♪

Jack, you're unbelievable!
What are you doing here?!

I'm not letting you up there.

Jack, I'ncing with Ricky.

What are you doing?
Let go of me.

Jack, let go of me!

Hey, just one second.

Let go!

♪ baby baby... ♪

Kim, he's a sleazebag!

Hey, great plan, Rudy!

We blew our big sh*t.

I mean, I'm still gonna get girls, but did
you ever think about Milton and Eddie?

You know what, guys?
This isn't my fault.

Professionals would have bounced
off that wall and started singing.

The problem is you boys are soft.

That's it!
I'm going solo.

- I'm going solo with you!
- Yeah!

Fine by me.
I'm done with you guys.

Good.

You know, it was kind of cool
to be back onstage again.

I miss what we had.

I don't even remember why we broke up.

Me neither.
So many good memories.

I love you guys.
We've gotta get the band back together.

- He's right.
- We were meant to perform.

- We are a boy band!
- Yeah!

Did you say boy band?!
I was boy band...

The hakmahk boys!
Who could forget our hit single...

"baby's got the noosh"?

♪ yalla habibi,
baby's got the noosh ♪

♪ you got the noosh, baby,
I got the noosh. ♪

Kim!

Kim!

Have a nice
flight, Ricky.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, Jack, I'm fine.

And looks like you were right.

Congratulations.
Ah, bye-bye, Ricky.

Wow, she throws pretty good for a girl.

Looks like you messed around
with the wrong person.

I don't understand.
She's the first girl in schools.

Who wouldn't let me kiss her.

Mm, Kim is not like the others.

On the outside she's
like a cute little lamb,

But on the inside she's
like a vicious k*ller lamb.

, I'll be in Kansas tomorrow.

You should see the chick that won that contest.
It's good to be famous.

- Not always.
- What do you mean?

Hold on a second.

Hey guys, he's in here.

- Ah, bye-bye, Ricky.
- Please stop.

♪ hey! ♪

♪ come on! ♪

Hey. I saw
the light on.

- What are you doing here?
- Just a little late- night workout.

Hey uh... Jack,
so we're clear,

You know I can take care of myself, right?

Yeah, I know. You just won the
gold medal on the Ricky toss.

Thanks for having my back, Jack.

No problem.

Y-you know,

I had some really
expensive cheeseburgers

For lunch today.
But you know what?

I think the ones at circus burger are
actually better. You wanna grab one?

Sure.

Milton? Milton, what's
wrong with you, man?

I don't know how you do that.
Are you dumb?

Yo, no!
I'm telling you, Phil,

- You cannot be in the group anymore.
- What?! Why?!

- Because you are a stage hog!
- What?!

Goat hairball.
Sorry.

How dare you?

I don't even want to be
in your group anymore, Rudy.

I'm going to form my own.

- Eddie, do you want to
be in my group? - No.

- Milton?
- No.

- Jerry?
- No-oo.

Good news, Rudy.
I'm back in the group.

One, two, three!

♪ yalla habibi,
baby got the noosh ♪

♪ yalla habibi, baby got the noosh...
♪ let's go!

♪ yalla habibi,
baby got the noosh ♪

♪ baby got the noosh,
baby got thththtnoosh...♪

That's it.
♪ yalla habibi ♪

♪ baby got the noosh.
♪ okay.

Yes.