01x26 - Boston Holiday

[bunniefuu]

Elevator football again?

Yeah. You can be
the cheerleader.

Ahh!

Give me the ball!

Ay!

♪ , , , ♪

♪ Moseby will
kick your behind ♪

Whoo-oo!

I'd hate to interrupt
your little game of--

Actually, I don't mind

Interrupting
your little game.
Come here.

I need your signatures
on this contract.

What's it for?

Oh, just a little
document I've drawn up,

Specifying that you
won't disturb our
v.i.p. Guests this week,

Which includes
"no football
in the lobby."

I call it
a pre-restraining order.

I object.

Overruled.

Mr. Moseby.

Ah. Mr. Babalabaloo.

Everything is in place
for the royal visit.

Initial here,
here, and here.

Rest assured, the prince's
stay will be relaxing
and tranquil.

[Screams] I just saw
a flying saucer.

With entertainment
in the lobby

Every half hour.

Wait.
You saw aliens?

She probably just
saw herself in the mirror.

I was out on my balcony,

And I saw something
round and shiny in the sky.

That's called the moon.

I know that. And during
the day, it's called the sun.

Now, excuse me.
My mask is hardening.

Decent throw.

Thank you.
I have never thrown
one of these,

But I am
watching it on tv.

What's your name?

Sanjei. And you are?

I'm zack
and he's cody.

So you two are being
beans in a pod.

I mean,
being identical.

Yeah, except I'm funnier,
better-looking,

And chicks dig me.

Wanna go hang out?

Yes, I would.

Come on, j.

J.? Is this
being a nickname?

Well, some people
call me junkyard dog.

Most people call you
blanket-huggin' geek.

Well, after that,
they call me junkyard dog.

♪ Here I am in your life ♪

♪ Here you are in mine ♪

♪ Yes, we have a suite life ♪

♪ Most of the time ♪

♪ You and me
got the world to see ♪

♪ So come on down ♪

♪ Just me and you
know what to do ♪

♪ So come on down ♪

♪ It's you and me
and me and you ♪

♪ We got the whole place
to ourselves ♪

♪ You and me,
we got it all for free ♪

♪ So come on down ♪

♪ This is the suite life ♪

♪ We've got a suite life ♪

Captioning made possible by
abc cable networks group

Hike!

I'm open.

Great catch.

Unh.

Both: ay-yi-yi-yi!

Ooh, I am liking
that odd gesture.

In ishkabar, we just bow.

Ishkabar?
Where is that?

Well, if you paid
attention in class,

You'd know
it's a small island
between india and thailand,

And its main export
is lima beans.

We'll forgive you
for that.

Ok.

Time for
the extra point.

First you call
the elevator.

Then when the doors open,
you have to kick it through

Before they close.

And then you run
for your life.

Halt.

Are you forgetting
the contract?

I said no football.

Yes. But if
I may refer you
to paragraph ,

Subsection d,
roman numeral v-i-i.

You said
"no football
in the lobby."

Last time I checked,
this was a hallway.

Ha ha ha.

There you are.

We've been looking
everywhere for you,
your highness.

You're the prince?

Yes. The heir
to the throne of ishkabar.

Why didn't you tell us
you were the prince?

I am not worthy.
I am not worthy.
I am not worthy.

That is why.

Your highness,
please forgive me

If you were bothered
by these two hooligans.

These are my friends.

Tomorrow they
have invited me
to the indoor bazaar.

You mean mall?

Actually, jim's
jerky joint is featuring
a new mystery meat.

It is bizarre.

Come, your highness.
You are late for your
diplomacy lesson.

Can't I do it tomorrow?
I need a break.

No. Tomorrow you're
meeting with the mayor

And addressing the entire
ishkabarian community.

Fortunately, they both
have the day off.

London: maddie, check it out.
I made a sign for the aliens.

Well, what if they
don't speak english?

Got it covered.

"hola aliens"?

Well, it looks like
you don't need me. adios.

Ok. But you're
gonna miss it

When I get
the first video
of an alien spaceship.

Yeah, you're gonna
miss it, too,

Unless you take
the lens cap off.

Look, I got to go.

We're defrosting the freezer
at my house tonight,

And if I don't hurry,
grandma's gonna grab
my frozen fish stick.

Fine. I'll just cancel
the lobster dinner.

Lobster?

Yeah.

Is it...fresh?

It still thinks
it has plans this weekend.

Well, maybe I could help you
and look for aliens,

At least through dinner.

And if they
haven't arrived yet,
maybe through dessert.

Say, creme brule?

Ok. Creme brule.

Just say it to room service.

Ohm.

Ohm.

Ohm.

Knock it off.

Ok.

Mom, zack's
touching my aura.

Nice turban.

You hang around
with sanjei again today?

Yeah, until that babaloo
guy made j. Stop playing.

Just because he had
to pass a few laws.

That babaganush guy
is so bossy.

"Do this. Do that."

"Go here. Go there."
He's worse than a mother.

I consider you
more of a friend.

Oh, good.

'Cause friends
don't have to give
friends allowances.

See you after my show.
Love you.

Both: love you.

I'm going to meditate.

Can you hurry up and
find your inner peace?

I wanna have a bread fight.
And I wanna meditate.

J. Does it, and that's how
he stays so calm and serene.

I cannot take this!
I cannot!

By the dust of korish,
I've had enough!

Yeah, he's bliss
on a stick.

I'm sick
of doing my duty

And always being told
what to do.

The sacred turban
is never to touch
the ground.

You're also not
supposed to do this.

Forgive him,
great kanish.

He's lost his lentils.

I want to stay here with you
and be regular kid.

Aren't you supposed
to be getting the key
to the city tomorrow?

I don't care.
I want to be a normal boy.

It's not as much fun
as being in a palace.

What good is a palace
when you're a prisoner
inside of it?

Ok, I've got a plan.
Yes.

That's what he always
says right before
we get grounded.

No. This plan
is surefire.

Correction. That's what
he always says right before
we get grounded.

Here's how
it's gonna work.

One of us will
take sanjei's place
at the ceremony tomorrow.

Brilliant.

Except he looks
nothing like us.

His plans only
work for twins.

Then why don't you come up
with something better?

I've got it.
At formal ceremonies,

Don't you wear
the traditional
shabakababa?

Yes. Cody, you're
being a genius.

What are you guys
talking about?

Why do you even bother
to go to school?

A shabakababa is your
traditional headdress
which covers the face.

Oh. So when you and I go
to the mall and have fun,

Cody will pretend
to be you.

Exactly. Which
makes me the prince.

Ooh, this will be
very exciting.

Tomorrow I will be
living the suite life

Of zack and cody
and sanjei.

All: huh-huh-
ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!

The mayor is waiting
for us downstairs.

Yes, and thank you again
for honoring my hotel

By allowing us
to hold the ceremony here.

Oh, mr. Moseby,
quick question.

Not now, zack.

See, if you hadn't

Taken the time
to say "not now, zack,"

I would've been finished.

But now here we are at
the beginning of my question.

Very well.
What is it?

In the contract,

Are cody and I
the party of the first part

Or the party
of the second part?

And which party
is not allowed to party?

I don't have time
for this.

Ow! Paper cut.

Ow! Ow! I'm bleeding out.

Remember, all you have
to do is sit there
and say, "thank you.

I love boston.
Go red sox."

No problem.

But I'm still
shorter than you
even in my mom's high heels.

I don't
see anything.

Well, you can't see
a broken heart either,
but it hurts.

Kiss it, mr. Moseby?

All better.

You're the best, sarah.

I can see myself
in my toenails.

I can't believe
we stayed up all night
and didn't see any aliens.

They probably didn't come
because they sense
you're a nonbeliever.

You're right.

I'll send out an "I believe
in aliens" vibe tonight.

Thanks, sarah.
Give yourself a nice tip.

On london.

I really hope they come.

Why do you care
so much?

If I could catch
a u.f.o.,

People would think
of me as smarter,

More...scientifical.

As far as I'm concerned,

You are scientifilicious.

Pass the biscotti.

Maddie.

If an alien were
really, really cute,

Would you date him?

Absolutely not.

I don't believe in
long-distance relationships.

Would you?

Maybe. If his spaceship
was a convertible.

This is called
a hot dog.

In this country
you eat dogs?

No, no, no.

A hot dog
is made from...

Well, nobody really
knows for sure.

Just try it.
Come on. Be brave.

This is delicious.
Huh?

I may be alone
among my people,

But I love
this country.

I've never felt
so free.

And not just because
these shorts are so
wonderfully baggy.

Speaking of wonderful,
check out those girls.

I am agreeing with you.
I will summon them.

You may approach me.

They must be
hard from hearing.

That whole
clapping thing,

It doesn't work
on american girls.

Then how do you
get them?

You got to turn on
the charm, be smooth.

Check this out.

Hey, ladies.

Didn't I see you
on the cover

Of i like blond guys
magazine?

If you were
a snake charmer,

You'd be dead by now.

As mayor of boston,

We welcome you to our city
with this key.

Thank you very much.

I love boston.

Go, red sox.

Accommodations
provided by
the tipton hotel

Where everyone
is treated like royalty.

Ha ha ha ha!

For reservations,
call - ...

Ahem. Thank you.

Uh, uh, uh.
Ha ha.

Any questions?

Oy.

Your highness,

Is there
anything you like

Besides boston
and the red sox?

Uh...

The tipton.

What an articulate
young man!

Aah!

Aah!
Aah!

Aah!

Aah!
Aah!

Aah!

They're hideous!

Who are you calling
hideous,

Mr. Avocado head?

You cower to an
inferior life form?

You're unworthy
of our mission!

Mom said,
"use your words."

Mom's trillion
light years away.

Deal with it.

Welcome to earth.

We are friendly people.

Does everyone
on your planet

Wear baggy blue
and silver suits?

That is my skin.

And it's lovely.

So what's
your planet like?

It's , degrees
year round.

But it's a dry heat.

Oh, well that explains
your wrinkles.

Careful, or I will
erase your mind.

Too late. Heh.

So are you
a peaceful people?

Mmm, yeeeah.

We've achieved
intergalactic peace.

We find planets
are quite peaceful

After they have
been destroyed.

You slapslub,
that's supposed
to be a secret!

Here's
another secret:
mom likes me best.

When you say,
"destroy the planet,"

You don't mean
the attractive, rich
hotel heiresses, do you?

Yeah, we mean everyone.

You can't destroy
the human race!

I mean, sure,
we're flawed,

But we have
an infinite capacity
to love and--

Enough small talk!

Time to vaporize you.

But I didn't--

Talk to the tentacles.

You know, I have
some skin cream

At will takeeof tari

Really?

Mm-hmm.

That could take
the cellulite

Off of mom's
knick knock.

Mm.

Deal.

Ok.

Do you have to go potty
before we leave?

'Cause it's a long
trip back,

And I'm not gonna
stop at every planet
along the way.

♪ I saved the world,
I saved the world ♪

♪ I saved the world ♪

London! Wake up!
Wake up!

What? What?

There's a flying saucer
outside!

Ooh! They came back!

I'm gonna make a fortune
off this video!

Get the camera!
Get the camera!

Forget the camera!
I'm getting the skin cream!

Zach, in america,
are the girls liking it

When you give them gifts?

Yeah, but I hope
you saved up enough money

To take them to a movie.

I'm having no money at all.

Sanjei never get his money.

Then how did you get
all this stuff?

I just took it.
My people will pay.

What people?
I'm your people,

And your people
got nothin'.

In which case,

You've just been caught
red handed.

Unhand me, peasant.

I am prince sanjei
of ishkabar.

Mm-hmm, and I'm
the queen of sheba.

Oh, nice to meet you,
your highness.

Oh, a comedian, huh?
You are in big trouble.

You are the one
who's big in trouble.

I banish you.

And yet, I'm still here.

Hey, let him go.
He didn't know
any better.

Ok, who are you?

I am prince sanjei's
legal counsel,

And as such, I believe

He has diplomatic
immunity.

I believe you're goin'
to mall jail.

Hey, wait!
Don't take him!

So girls, do you like
the bad boy type?

We'll be out in to .

Wait for us.

Prince sanjei,
could you elaborate?

Go, boston.

I love red sox.

[Cell phone rings]

Ooh.

Got that--
times.

Shoplifting?
That's impossible.

He's right here.

Oh, no.

I see.

Not so fast,
your highness.

If you are a highness.
Aah!

How dare you touch
the head of--

Who the balok are you?

How did I get here?

I must have been
sleepwalking.

Heh. Make that
sleep running.

Are they still here?

Yep, and I'm getting it
all on tape.

We're going to be rich.

Uh, london?

Mm-hmm?

Remember your birthday
last week?

How could I forget?
Me, and , of my
closest friends.

Oh, yeah, by the way,
thanks for inviting me.

Why do you ask?

Because I'm not looking
at a flying saucer.

I'm looking at
a silver mylar balloon

That reads
"happy birthday, london."

Oh, so the aliens
do speak english!

There are no aliens.

Your ufo
is just a balloon

Caught on a tv antenna.

So I'm not gonna be mentioned
in scientifical american?

Who cares about that?
The point is,

I'm not going
to be rich.

And I'm loving
being rich.

I know. It's great,
isn't it?

Hey, wait a minute.
Is that the only reason

You've stayed up here
with me all this time?

No. I did it
in the interest

Of scientifical
exploration.

You used me.

We used each other.
That's what friends do.

You taught me that.

We're done.
Get out.

No, wait.
But I still haven't had
my hot stone massage.

Wait till
the sun comes out,

Then roll around
in the gravel.

[Gasps] wait!

There's so many other
scientifical discoveries
to be made.

Oh, look, a unicorn!

Oh, please.

Everyone knows unicorns
live in australia.

[Plays harmonica]

This is awful.

Let me out! Let me out!

I cannot take it anymore!

You've only been in here
for minutes.

Zach!

Mom!

Prince sanjei.
Mr. Babalabaloo.

Delilah?
Karen?

You know each other?

From my book club.

So these are your twins.

Sadly, yes.

Well, well, well,
zach's in jail.

Why am I
not surprised?

How could you do
something like this?

I can't even tell you
how much trouble
you are in.

Mom, it wasn't me.
Sanjei stole the stuff.

Hey. You are being fired
as my lawyer.

Princeanjei,
are you all righ

He really is
a prince?

My bad.

Release him immediately.

I'll release him
when he pays for
the stuff he took.

I'll take care of it.

It's on
the tipton hotel.

This would never
have happened

If you had been
doing your duty.

All he ever does
is his duty.

And my duty stinks.

What he's trying
to say is...

He just wanted to be
a regular kid.

You two stay out of this.

Now prince sanjei knows
that being a prince

Is a serious obligation,

And there is
no time for fun.

Hey, he's just a kid.

Look, mr. Babaloo.

Babalabaloo.
Babalabaloo.

Whatever.

I may not know anything
about royalty,

But I do know about kids,

And they need balance
in their lives.

That's what
you're depriving sanjei of.

Silence.

No. You be silent.

But prince...

The prince
is speaking.

You tell him, j.

I know I must fulfill
all of my duties.

But in the future,

I want you to be
scheduling more time
for fun

And less for
unpleasant things.

Yeah, that press conference
was like detention
with cameras,

And I have
a bunion on my foot

The size of a football.

And to kick off
our policy of fun,

We will be going
to the amusement park
tomorrow

And riding
the roller coaster
until we puke.

But your highness--

And if you're having
any problem with that,

You may take it up with
my new minister of defense,

The queen of sheba.

Me? Oh.

You can call me delilah,

Your majesty.
But...

Don't but me,
'cause I'll but back.

I will make
the arrangements.

All right! We're going
to the amusement park!

Ho, not so fast.

You two are
in big trouble.

Impersonating a prince
in my new high heels?

Not to mention
your high jinks
embarrassed my hotel

Which is
a clear violation
of our contract.

Ooh, let's look
at the punishment
clause.

Mr. Moseby.

If you show mercy,

I will recommend the tipton

To all of my royal friends.

Well,
have a cotton candy
for me, boys.

[Laughs]

All: huh, huh,
ai-yi-yi-yi-yi!