02x18 - Have a Nice Trip

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody". Aired: March 18, 2005 - September 1, 2008.*
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Comedy centered around twin brothers Zack & Cody living at the Tipton Hotel with their single mother who is a lounge singer.
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02x18 - Have a Nice Trip

Post by bunniefuu »

I'm sure I left
my skateboard
here somewhere.

You guys really need
to start keeping
better track of your things.

I spend good money
on your toys.

You got our skateboards
at a garage sale.

For a quarter.

Which was
a quarter too much,

Considering you lost it.

I didn't lose anything.

I think.

Ok, I came in
through the front door,

Skated down the ramp
and over moseby's toes.

What?

Said I was sorry,

And he started to yell,
so I did a quick uey

And I ducked down
behind the candy counter.

Excuse me.

What are you doing?

We're looking
for zack's skateboard.

Daddy, look out!

Whoa!

Found it.

♪ Here I am in your life ♪

♪ Here you are in mine ♪

♪ Yes, we have a suite life ♪

♪ Most of the time ♪

♪ You and me,
we got the world to see ♪

♪ So come on down ♪

♪ Just me and you
know what to do ♪

♪ So come on down ♪

♪ It's you and me
and me and you ♪

♪ We got the whole place
to ourselves ♪

E,
we got it all for free ♪

♪ So come on down ♪

♪ This is the suite life ♪

♪ We've got a suite life ♪

Esteban: oh, my goodness.

Are you
all right, daddy?

You fell really hard.
I hope you didn't
break a bone.

Well, if I did, honey,

I hope the hotel
doesn't charge me
with entering and breaking.

Thank you.

I'm harry.

Hi. I'm carey.

I'm holly.

Sorry to blow
the whole rhyme thing.

I swear I left
my skateboard

Over near
the candy counter.

I know. Maybe those
little elves moved it.

You know. The same ones
that spilled the soda
in my hat.

And who broke
my junior microscope.

And used my pantyhose
as a slingshot.

Yeah, those elves
sure are rascally.

But they're cute.

Sir, are you all right?

What happened?

Why do you always
look at me?

Force of habit.

What was it,
the rascally elves?

Come on, now,
don't blame the lad.

Those little elves
used to get me in a lot
of trouble when I was a kid.

But, sir, let me
get you a doctor.

No, no, no.
Really, I'm ok.

I just need to check in
and lay down. Uh!

That's as far
as I can go.

Oh, well, fortunately,
the carpet has a lovely pattern.

Yeah, yeah.

By the way,
love the shoes.

Thank you.

Are you sure there's
nothing I can do for you?

Well, now that
you mention it,

I'd love a room
with a view.

Done.

Uh! I can't make it.

The room will be free.

Now I can make it.

Look, I'm telling you,
mr. Moseby.

I did not leave
my skateboard there.

Do you think I'd
forget where I left
my own skateboard?

Whoa!

You found it.

This whole thing
is so unfair.

I know I left
that skateboard
by the candy counter.

I just don't see
how it got to
the other side of the room.

Hi, zack. Hi, kid
who looks like zack.

Actually, I prefer cody.

That looks like fun.

What do you have to do?
sh**t the little monsters?

Yep. And you need
to watch out for the--

[Whirring]

Evil space monkey.

I wish I could play,
but I don't have any money.

Oh, that's ok,
little girl.

I'll lend you some money

And teach you
how to play, too.

Please. Who's
gonna teach you?

She should learn
from a pro.

Step aside.

You're grounded,
remember?

This isn't for fun.

I'm teaching
the little girl a new skill.

Let's call it "tutoring."

Or we can call it
"disobeying mom."

Ok, now, you grab
the controller,

And as soon as you
see the simians,
start sh**ting.

This is really hard.
I'll never be as good as you.

Just keep trying.
You'll get the hang of it.

[Whirring]

Don't feel bad.

That monkey's
really devious.

I just feel bad that you're
wasting all your money on me.

Please. Don't worry
about the money.

Can I have another buck?

Listen. Why don't
we have a play-off game?

And if you win,

I'll get daddy
to pay you double
what you've loaned me.

But if I win,
which is like impossible,

Then you pay me. Ok?

That sounds fair.

No, it's not.

You know
you're going to win.

You're suckering
a little girl
out of her money.

Her dad's money.

And it's his fault
I'm in trouble.

Well, I can't
watch this.

I don't want you, too.

Wow, holly.
You're doing really well.

Take that,
evil space monkey.

I did it. I won.
You're an awesome tutor.

Yeah. I guess so.

Thanks, zack.

You're my best friend
in the whole world.

And don't forget.
You owe me bucks.

These brownies are fabulous.

Where did you learn
to bake like this?

Cheap charlie's.

You get 'em free
when you buy snow tires.

Ooh, ooh, ooh!
It hurts to laugh.

I think maybe now
I should alternate
with the heat thing.

They say you
should do that.

Yeah.

Oh!

Ah!
Sorry.

[Knocking]

All right, ok. Got it.

Hi.

Ok.

Good morning, mr. O'neil.

A little gift
from the tipton.

Why did we have to give him
all the heavy fruits?

What's wrong with a banana
and a handful of raisins?

Just put it down.
It's not that heavy.

Oh!
Hey!

Ohh!

I ok.

Well, I hope you
are feeling better.

Oh, I am.
As good as--ooh!

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ohh!

Perhaps a free day
at the tipton spa

Might help ease your pain.

Soon you'll be relaxed
from your nose to your toes.

Yes, and on your way
checking out of the hotel,

Spreading the good word
about the tipton.

Oh, you can
count on that.

Yeah, that's why
I told my doctor
I wouldn't call my lawyer.

La--

Law--la--law--

Well, you know lawyers.

Somebody always has
to be responsible.

Did I mention that esteban
is available to you / ?

That's right.
I all yours, sir.

Minutes
out of the next hours.

No, that's hours a day,
days a week.

Ay-yi-yi.
That's a lot.

Oh, hi there.

Will you play
a game with me?

I'd love to,
but I have to work.

That's ok.

I'm pretty much used
to playing by myself.

My daddy travels
all the time,

So I don't have
any real friends.

Oh, wait. Wait.

Maybe I have time
for one quick game.

Great.
Here's how it works.

There are black cards
and red card.

All you have to do
is keep your eye
on the red one.

Sounds easy enough.

Which is the red?

That one.

You're good at this game.

It must be
because you're so smart.

Thanks.

Hey, how about this time
we play for candy?

If I win,
I get a candy bar.

That sounds fair.

Which one is it?

Oops. Got you that time.

One candy bar, please.

I was sure
it was that one.

Why don't you try again?

The odds on you winning
are to .

Sure. What have I got to lose?

I can't believe
you wiped me out.

We could play again and
you could win it all back.

I have no more candy.

I like your watch.

I'm telling you,
that little girl is evil.

I bet her head
spins around.

Thanks for playing
with me, maddie.

You're my best friend ever.

Esteban, can you please
help me with this bag?

Of course.

Hey, sweet thing.
Holly clean you out, too?

Yeah. It'll take weeks salary
to replace all that candy.

Wait. Let me guess.

Holly let you
win at first

And then
she got really good?

Now that you mention it, yeah.

Still think she's just
an innocent third-grader?

Ok, I see your point.

But she's just
a little kid.

Where would she have learned
to con people like that?

I'm thinking
she was home-schooled.

I'm lling you,

Holly and her dad
are up to something.

I did not just leave
my skateboard
lying around.

My roller skate.

Completely unrelated.

Man, have we gotten bigger

Or have these vents
gotten smaller?

I don't know.

But I suggest you get
your knee out of my kidney

Or we're all gonna be sorry.

Hi, daddy.
Esteban and I are home.

Ok, here you go, miss holly.

Thanks, esteban.

Mr. O'neil.

Wait. You promised
to buy some of
my wilderness girl cookies.

Oh, right. I love
the mint marshmallow mushies.

When will they be here?

Weeks.

From never.

Got the cash.

Pumpkin, you're
a chip off the old block.

Come here. Whoo-hoo!

I don't believe it.

I know. His back
is totally fine.

Not that.
I bought a dozen boxes

Of those stupid mint
marshmallow mushies.

Mr. Moseby, we've got
something very important
to tell you.

Unless it concerns
your enrollment
in m*llitary school,

I'm not interested.

That guy harry
is faking his injury.

We saw him dancing
in the vent.

Why was harry
dancing in the vent?

He wasn't in the vent.
We were in the vent.

You were dancing
in the vent?

No, we were spying
in the vent.

So who was dancing?

Harry.

Harry can't dance.
His back is injured.

That's what we've been
trying to tell you.

It's not injured.

Oh, right. Right.
Right, right, right.

And you didn't leave
your skateboard

In the middle
of my lobby.

This man is a guest
in my hotel,

And you are
to leave him alone.

But--

Come on--

Why do people
never believe me?

Probably because
you say things

Like "the elves did it."

What's wrong?

Did holly take you guys
for more money?

Nonowe sawararar hpickio
oh, and take
your passkey.

Because he can't
answer the door.

Right.

Go.

Oh.


Run!

"Operation smoke out
the rat" is a go.

Cranky pants is
on his way up. Over.

Copy that, candy girl.
Better-looking twin out.

You know, next time
I'm picking the names.

Copy that,

Ok, we have
to time this perfectly

So harry is jumping around
when cranky pants walks in.

Don't worry.

I've got this bee
stinging mad.

Where did you get a bee?

I know a guy.

[Buzzing]

Get away.

Get away!

All right. Ok.
You wanna play bee ball?

Ah!

Got it.

[Crying]

[Knocking]

Mr. O'neil, are you all right?

Yeah. But a swarm of bees
just flew out of that vent
and att*cked me.

You don't
want people to hear

That the tipton's
infested with bees.

Would you like a free dinner?

Well, if you insist.

Ok, coast is clear.
Proceed down hallway.

I'm standing
right next to you.

Do we have a location
on cranky pants?

Candy girl says cranky pants
is on the way up now.

All right.
You ready, red schnoz?

I'm ready,
soon to be fat lip.

Ok. This is definitely
going to get harry up

And running out
of his room.

And when he does,

I'll take a picture of it
and show it to moseby.

Whoa. The swedish bikini
team is on this floor?

[With swedish accent]
oh, it's so cold in here.

I should've worn more clothes.

Man: hey, I want
an autograph!

Come on, cody. Get up.
You're gonna miss the sh*t.

Giddyup. Yah! Yah!

You mean after all that,
you still didn't get a picture?

Well, I'm sorry.

My photographer
fell down on the job.

[Groaning]

Don't worry.
We'll get him.

Maybe we should
tell your mom.

She'll never believe us.

She might, if it
doesn't involve elves.
Cody, what happened to you?

He was trying
to help me prove that
harry isn't really hurt.

Zack, you have got to stop
involving people in your
hare-brained schemes.

Look, mom, I know zack
has lied in the past

And no doubt
he'll lie in the future,

But at this moment,

He happens
to be telling the truth.

Thanks, buddy.

Ow.

Carey, I believe him, too.

That little girl
conned me out of all my candy.

You mean
sweet little holly

Who sold me the low-fat
lemon looloos?

They're low-fat all right
because you're never
gonna get 'em.

Mom, I promise
I'll never lie again

If you just
believe me now.

You know what? I do.

I think it's time
to get a second opinion
on harry's back injury.

Let's go.

[Groans]

, , Cha, cha, cha.

, , Cha, cha, cha.

[Knocking]

Who is it?

Carey!

And her brownies!

Uh, just a second.

Come in.
The door is open.

Hi, harry.

I hope you don't mind.

But I feel so bad
that my son's skateboard
caused your injury

That I've hired
at my own expense

The best physical
therapist in boston.

Oh. Uh, wow. Yeah. Uh...

Yeah. You deserve it.

No, I don't.

Yeah, you do.

You know what?

All I need to feel better
are your brownies.

No, I insist.
Olga is the best.

She has the gentlest touch.

I fix boo-boo now.

Uh...uh...

Yeah. You know,

I think my boo-boo
just needs a little rest.

You know what you know
about boo-boos? Bupkis.

You know bupkis
about boo-boos.
I know boo-boos.

Now, on count of ,
we flip him like blini.

Wait.

.

What happened
to " " and " "?

I spit on " " and " ."

So I got you down
for boxes of mint
marshmallow mushies

And boxes
of chip-a-dee-doo-dahs.

I believe I said I only
wanted one box of each.

But more
and I win the bicycle,

And I've never
had a bicycle.

What the heck.
Make it boxes.

Buy yourself a horn.
Honk honk!

I don't know what you
and...rudolph are doing here,

But I'm sure it's gonna
give me that stomach pain.

So move away from the door.

There's a perfectly
logical explanation

Of why we're standing
here and can't move.

Tell him, rudolph.

Does this feel good?

Actually, yes.

How about this?

Yeah.

Good.

Now we do russian
acupuncture.

I never heard of--ah!

Ok, you know,
I think we're good
with the little needle.

He's right.

Time for hot rocks.

Hot rocks?

To relax your muscles!

And that's how our shoes
got glued to the floor.

No wonder
you never lie.

You stink at it.

Harry: aah!

Daddy!

Aah!

No!

Daddy! Aah!

Holly. Pumpkin,
are you all right?

I think so.

It looks like you have made
a remarkable recovery,
mr. O'neil.

It's a miracle!

That physical therapist
is amazing.

Maddie?

ja. Ja. I mean yes.

You mean our
candy-counter girl?

I told you he was faking.

Oh, zack, I am so sorry
I didn't believe you.

Of course nothing
in your past would have
led me to believe you.

Nonetheless, this one
particular instan--

Apology acedl thpol.

"Operation skateboard
in the lobby" was her idea.

I just come up
with the names.

She's inches
of pure evil.

[Grunts]
mmmm!

Wimp.

Oh, mr. O'neil.
Mr. O'neil.

I had to go all
the way to delaware,

But I finally found
that pillow you requested.

Forget it, esteban.

We proved he was faking.

So you're done
working for him.

So I can take
a little break?

By all means.

Oh, gracias.

Mr. Moseby, we wanna
apologize again,

And we're gonna pay back
every penny we owe you.

That's right.
I have learned my lesson.

And I have
alerted every hotel
on the eastern seaboard.

Don't worry. From now on,
we are gonna walk
the straight and narrow.

Good.

Thank you, mr. Doorman.

Your peanut butter
sticky wickies will
be here in weeks.

Come on.

Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.

An
hath power to save.

Behold!

And the jaws of darkness
do devour it up.

[Laughs]
oh, wow!
Great audition!
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