02x23 - Lost in translation

[bunniefuu]

[speaking g foreign
language]

Ok, should I thank you
or slap you?

It's international week
at school,

And I've learned
to say things in
different languages.

And I've learned
to snore in
different languages.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.

Maddie, did you stock
the sushi candy?

And the seaweed cookies.

Yum!

What are we having,
a convention of seals?

Orr orr orr!

No, an important japanese
company is coming,

And it would be swell
if they came again
next year.

So I would like them
to feel at home.

How come
you never want us
to feel at home?

You're kidding, right?

Oh, moseby-san?

Mr. Nakamura.

It's very good
to meet you.

Welcome to the tipton.

Oh!

Oh, not you!

Tell me--stay!

How was your flight?

I'll ask him
in japanese.

I guess
it was bumpy.

No.

♪ here I am in your life ♪

♪ here you are in mine ♪

♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪

♪ most of the time ♪

♪ you and me,
we got the world to see ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ just me and you
know what to do ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ it's you and me
and me and you ♪

♪ we got the whole place
to ourselves ♪

♪ you and me,
we got it all for free ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ this is the suite life ♪

♪ we've got a suite life ♪

Boy, am I tired.

I've been working
all day.

On your history paper?

No, I have people
for that.

I've been going through
my old clothes.

I'm getting rid of them.

Oh, look.

Here's the outfit
I wore on the plane

Going to paris
last weekend.

And here's the outfit
I wore getting off
the plane.

I've been wearing
the same socks for a week.

[sniffing] oh.

I thought that smell
was seaweed cookies.

Throwing out these clothes
seems so wasteful.

Why don't you,
I don't know,

Give them to
a really close friend?

You're right. Norman!

How would you like
a pink chiffon skirt?

Not him.

Ok, maybe
I was too subtle.

When I said
give them to a friend,

I meant me!

You know, sometimes
you are dumber than
a sack of hammers.

Would a friend
call another friend

Dumber than
a sack of hammers?

If they were really close,

Like we are.

Friends tease.

Oh, I get it.

So why don't you
come up before school
tomorrow

And take what you want
from my closet,

You stick-legged,
frizzy-haired freak.

Thanks, buddy.

Watch your back.

Oh, my word.

Watch your front.

Oh!

Watch your back again.

Whoa!

Oh! Get out--

This is not a fun house!

And I cannot have hooligans
rolling through my lobby.

Whee!

Hi. So sorry.

Hi.

Whoa!

Oh! Sorry again.

Don't worry about it.

That was kind of fun.

You gotta be careful
with those luggage carts.

They're tricky to stop.

Perhaps because they
weren't meant to be ridden.

That explain
the bad brakes.

I am kumiko mori.

Oh...

Mmm.

Mori-san,
it is an honor

To have such a great star
at my hotel.

Our friends at nakamura
are looking forward
to hearing you sing.

Now, how was your flight?

Too long.

It gave me
a big wedgie.

I know how you feel.

I get those
every day at lunch.

And I'm the one
who gives them to him.

Ok.

Let me show you
to your room.

Wait. I want to
practice my japanese.

Don't send a fruit
basket to my room.

Oh, mom, look at
my eiffel tower.

Wow! That
came out great.

I can almost smell
the croissants.

Zack, what did you do
for your international
project?

Nothing yet.

I've been too busy
helping cody with his.

Here you go.

You'd better figure out
what you're going to do.

Ah, don't worry. I've got
international day covered.

Bringing in a slice
of swiss cheese
doesn't count.

What if I put it on
a german kaiser roll?

[knock on door]

Hello.

Hello.

Zack and cody here?

Uh...

Boys, why is there a woman
with a fish at the door?

Mori-san.

Hi.

We invited our friend
over for dinner.

She's a famous singer
from japan.

Oh, yes!

You're performing at
the nakamura convention.

I'm also a singer.

Oh, you famous, too?

Singing in front
of lots of people
making lots of money.

No.
No.

My fan club.

Mom, kumiko's
making us a traditional
japanese dinner.

Oh, well, which
would explain
the fish.

Welcome to our home.
Do you need any help
cooking dinner?

No.
No.

Do you have children?

No.
Smart move.

Should I make
the sushi now?

Please. It's like
watching a show.

Hyah!

Which
I'll be watching
from over there.

Look at those moves.

That delicate
Kn*fe work,

That incredible
precision.

I'm just hoping
I don't get the eyeball.

Don't worry.
As a sign of respect,

I will save the eyeballs
for mommy.

Oh, goodie.

You can learn a lot
about a culture

By the way they
prepare their foods.

That's it!
I could take kumiko
to school tomorrow

As my international project.

Project?

Honey, we don't refer
to our dinner guests
as projects,

Especially when they're
holding giant knives.

I would love to be
zack's project.

Oh, this is awesome.

I'm getting dinner
and an "a."

You're going to be
much cooler than
a slice of cheese.

I get that a lot.

I can't believe
your closet has levels.

Thank goodness
you have an escalator.

Well, I've already
worn these twice,

So go ahead. Take
whatever you want.

Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you!

I am so sorry
for every mean thing
I've ever said about you.

You say mean things
about me?

No. Where did you
hear that?

Ooh!

Oh, this is beautiful.

I wonder where
I'd wear this.

Wear it to
a fruit stand.

You look like
a lime.

I thought you had
this obnoxious mirror
upstairs in winterworld.

No, I have an obnoxious mirror
in all my closets,

But they all love me.

Ooh, why don't you try
some of the clothes up there.

It's stuff I thought
about wearing, but
never actually touched.

Ooh, I like
this blue sweater.

I can almost get it.

I'm gonna need a suitcase
to carry all this stuff.

Grab it out of
luggageland.

Ok.

Uh-oh. The clothes
avalanche

Seems to have broken
the handle off the door.

Is there another way out?

Nope.

Help! Help!

Did I mention you're
going to miss the new
spring fashions coming out?

Aah!

Help! Help!

Help! Please!

Do this...Then this...

Bend this.

Then you have
pretty bird.

Or snowballs.

[class laughs]

So that's pretty much
your typical day in japan.

When you're not
eating sushi,
you're folding stuff.

[bell rings]

Too bad
we didn't get a chance
to get to the karaoke.

Oh, yes. Too bad.

I do a great britney spears.

That was spectacular, zack.

Really spectacular.

I felt like
we were in japan.

Me, too.

Just like japan.

Hey, ladies.

What do you think
of my eiffel tower?

Oh, is that
the eiffel tower?

I thought it was
an oil derrick.

Hey, girls, you know what
the most beautiful thing
in japan is?

No.
What?

You if you went there.

Ladies, wait up.

I have some fun facts
about France you'll just love.

Did you know
the average frenchman

Consumes pounds
of croissants each year?

Wait! But not
all at once.

Good job.
Really good job.

Zack?

Cody?

Oh...Must be lunch time.

Help.

Help.

Your turn, london.

Help.

Help.

It isn't helping.

I am so hungry.
I missed breakfast.

I hear you. This morning
my hollandaise sauce
was curdled,

So all I had
was a caviar omelet

With french toast
and a banana nut muffin
on the side.

[sighs]

Even when
I've had breakfast,

I've never had breakfast
like that.

Tell me about the
muffin. Was it moist?

Uh-huh. Moist on the inside

And crunchy
on the outside.

[sighs] it's like
I could taste it.

Oh, I know!

We can use my cell phone
to order pizza.

You have a cell phone?

Uh-huh.

Then how about
we call down to moseby

And let him know we're
locked in a closet?

Oh! And we can get
the pizza from him.

No.

He can let us out.

Better.

I can't get a signal.

Wait a minute.

It seems to be getting
stronger when I hold it up.

Here, let me get
on your back. Hurry.

Ooh, I got a signal!

[cell phone rings]

Hello.

Hey, portia.

She did? When?

She did not.

Tell her we're
locked in the closet.

I told her
a thousand times not to.

Tell her we're
locked in the closet.

I know. She's just
one of those people

You can't tell anything to.

Tell her!

Portia, before I forget,
maddie and I are--

[phone beeps]

Hello?

Hello?

Battery d*ed.

Aah!

This is hopeless.

We're never going
to get out of here.

[gasps] I've got an idea.

Why don't we
ram the door down.

Well, what will we use?

The mirror.

Doesn't years of bad luck
mean anything to you?

I know the boys are late,

And it's important
that kumiko be here,

But I'm telling you,
they're gonna walk through
that door any second.

Oh, thank goodness!

Hmm. Zack, cody,

Where's kumiko?

I'll only tell you
if you promise
not to get angry.

I promise.

Zack lost her
at school.

[straining]

Ho!

Aah!

I think he's angry.

Mmm.

How do you lose a woman?

You forget
to cherish her.

Oh!

Aw. And that's why
you're my special
little man.

People, focus!

The nakamura executives

Are expecting a brilliant
japanese singer
in less than an hour,

And what am I to do?

Mom's a brilliant
singer.

There's just one problem:
She's not japanese.

Actually, I dated
a japanese guy
in college.

Oh!
Oh!
Oh!

And we were in
a production of the mikado.

I'm not sure
I remember all the words.

Well, you could write them
on the inside of your sensu.

Excuse me?

Your ceremonial fan.

It's been used
in the japanese culture
for centuries.

What? Every now and then
I listen.

You know, that is not
a bad idea.

I don't know.

I'll pay you yen.

Mmm.
Done.

Yes! I'm making yen.

That's about $ . .

Oh...

Moseby: Aah!

What? I'm hungry,
and it's not bad.

Is that alligator?

Yes, but it tastes
like chicken.

Well, I would never
stoop so low.

[sniffing]

How come your breath
smells so minty fresh?

Well...

While you were napping,
I kind of went through
my purse

And ate the leftover
candy at the bottom.

What? And you didn't
save any for me?

I saved one--

In case
I get hungry later.

I want that purse.

You can't have it. Stop!

Give it to me!
No!

No. Give it.
It's mine!

No!

Oh! Oh! Spit it out!
Spit it out!

Spit it out!
Spit it out!
Spit it out!

[candy clatters]

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, no!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

I almost stepped on
my purse!

No! No! No!

Mm-hmm.

Dust bunny.
Pblblblbl.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ladies and gentlemen,
I promised you a fabulous
japanese singing act,

So here's a...
Japanese singing act.

Welcome toshika
and the pips.

♪ three little maids
from school are we ♪

♪ pert as a schoolgirl
well can be ♪

♪ filled to the brim
with girlish glee ♪

♪ three little maids
from school ♪

♪ everything
is a source of fun ♪

♪ nobody's safe,
for we care for none ♪

♪ life is a joke
that has just begun ♪

♪ three little maids
from school ♪

Whoo! They're
very good.

Mori-san,
where have you been?

I got a tie for you.

Ah. Oh...

♪ three little maids who,
all unwary ♪

♪ come from a ladies' seminary ♪

♪ freed from
its genius tutelary ♪

♪ three little maids
from school ♪

♪ three little maids
from school ♪

Mori-san, do you think
you could save this night
from disaster?

No.

But I already spent
my paycheck,

So I owe you.

Well, hope you enjoyed
that little comedy act.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Now for some real
entertainment...

Kumiko mori!

The stage is all yours.

No. We sing together.

Really?
Yes.

But you two
look goofy.

You sing backup.

So back up.

What should we sing?

Something we both know.

Um...

[singing opera]

How about that?

Yeah, I can't do that
since I had kids.

Ok.

How about you don't
bring me flowers anymore?

Why would I
bring you flowers?

Just pick something.

At this point,
I'd settle for

If you're happy
and you know it.

I know that.
I know that.

[sighs]

[singing in japanese]

♪ if you're happy
and you know it,
clap your hands ♪

♪ if you're happy
and you know it ♪

♪ then your face
will surely show it ♪

♪ if you're happy
and you know it,
clap your hands ♪

♪ if you're happy
and you know it,
stomp your feet ♪

[singing in japanese]

♪ if you're happy
and you know it ♪

♪ and you really
wanna show it ♪

♪ if you're happy
and you know it,
stomp your feet ♪

[singing in japanese]

♪ if you're happy
and you know it,
shout ole! ♪

Ole!
Ole!
Ole!

♪ if you're happy
and you know it ♪

♪ then you really
ought to show it ♪

♪ if you're happy
and you know it,
shout ole ♪

Ole!
Ole!
Ole!

Excellent show,
mr. Moseby.

Thank you, mr. Nakamura.

♪ if you're coming back
next year and you know it,
clap your hands ♪

Oh, that's good!

Pfft. Nice tie.

Nice dress.

Touche.

I'm always complaining
about my life,

But right now, I realize
it's been pretty good.

Well, of course it is.

You have a great life.

You think so?

Yeah. Look at all
the people who like you.

And they must like you
for you,

Since you're poor
and hideously dressed.

Thank you.

Well, people
like you, too, london.

Yeah, but I'm rich,

And when you're rich,
you never know

If people like you
for you

Or your stuff.

Well, I don't like you
for your stuff.

In fact, I hate your stuff.

It's the reason why
we're trapped in this closet.

Well, how about this.

There's no one
I'd rather spend
my last moments with.

[laughs]

Moseby: London? London!

It's moseby!

Out of my way!

Moseby, we're here.
Help!

Help!
We're in here!

Help!

There you are.

I've been calling
your suite for hours.

What is this?

Thank goodness you're here.

There was a clothes
avalanche,

And the door handle
broke off,

And we've been stuck
in here all day,

And we're starving.

Is the dinner buffet
still open?

Yes, for another
minutes.

Let's go!

Girls. Girls.

Oh, girls.
Girls...Oh.

You can't...I--I...

Mirror:
Like the suit,

But what's with
that tie?

The guy couldn't
guess your weight?