02x17 - Wazombie Warriors

[bunniefuu]

Phil's new garlic falafel
balls are disgusting.

Surprising, considering
the cook is a goat.

[Goat bleats]

Yeah, I know. These are awful.

Then why do you keep eating them?

Mm. Because now I can do this...

[Belches loudly]

It's gross, but you gotta
admit, the man's an artist.

So Kim, are you coming to see
the movie with us tomorrow?

- It's playing here in the Mall.
- What movie?

Only the best monster movie ever made.

"att*ck of the k*ller Zompires"!

[Hisses]

- They're half-Zombie...
- Half-Vampire.

And all-lame.

If you guys wanna see a good
movie, go see "The Horse Tamer".

It's a romantic story about
a muscular -year-old boy,

who sells his last shirt
to save a crippled horse.

Just hearing those words makes
me feel like less of a man.

Kim, come on, see Zompires
with us. It'll be fun.

[Sighing] I don't know.

Come on, we should go together.

Together?

Well. Okay, I'm in.

Cool. [Chuckles]

Hey, guys. You know what my
new Explorer Scout patch means?

You crossed the street by yourself.

- You threw out your nightlight?
- You peed in the woods?

No, no and that's none of your business.

What is means is I'm leader of my troop.

- Aren't you the only one in your...
- Leader of my troop!

My Scout Master says I'm
brave, bold and fearless.

Great! So you're coming
to see "Zompires" with us?

Are you nuts?! I looked at
the commercial for that thing

and I spent two days hiding
in my mother's hamper.

Yo, Eddie. Check this out.

[Stomach gurgles]

Uh-oh.

Oh, it's going the wrong way.

Uh-oh. No no no no no no!

Yo, Phil Phil! I need the key!

- Key to the bathroom now!
- Oh oh, okay. Let's see, uh...

This one? No, that's not the one.

This... oh, this is the key to my diary.

But, uh... whoa! I guess
he really had to go-o-o!

[Rock music playing]

- ♪ Don't...
- ♪Don't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪Won't...
- ♪Won't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!

♪That's just how we do.

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.

♪Here we go, let's start the party!

♪Chop it up like it's karate.

♪Everybody!

- ♪Don't...
- ♪ Don't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪ Won't...
- ♪Won't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!

♪That's just how we do.

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.

We've known each other for a while
now and I feel a spark between us.

And when I look into your eyes, I
can tell you feel the exact same...

Way.

- Not buying it.
- Aw!

When you say "spark between
us," you gotta be breathy.

[Slightly inhales]

"Spark between us".

Ooh. That's good. Do that again.

No.

Why are so nervous about
asking Katie out anyway?

[Sighs] Dude, I've had a crush on her
since we finger painted in kindergarten.

I was using blue. She was using yellow.

Together we made green, Jack.

Green!

Dude, there she is! Go
ask her. Come on. Go go.

[Clears throat]

Uh uh, Katie.

I wanna know if you wanna go
to the Zompire movie with me.

Are you seriously asking her out?

Okay.

Here's the deal.

She'll go out with you,
if Jack will go with me.

Yes yes yes yes!

That'll happen. Uh, so...

So, see ya tonight.

Dude, she said yes! I'm going
to the movies with her tonight.

[Exhales]

I finally finished my
science fair project.

It's a light refractometer.

By using a series of convex mirrors, I'm
able to intensify a single beam of light.

What's your project?

Grew a bean in a cup.

Kim.

[Sighs]

Lindsay.

[Dance music playing]

Whoa-ho!

[Music stops]

No! My light refractometer! It's ruined!

It's gonna take me all
night to build another one.

You want a bean?

- You!
- I have a date! Not the face!

Not the face! [Screaming]

Uh, Eddie?

What are you doing here? I thought
you were too scared to see this movie.

Now that I'm Scout Leader, I'm
going to show people my bravery.

- [Music playing]
- ♪ Now there's time to

- get something to eat...
- [Screams]

What's that?

A cartoon dancing hotdog telling
you the snack bar is open.

Well, joke's on them.

That terrifying wiener
made me lose my appetite.

Kim.

Lindsay.

- You a Zompire fan?
- Not really.

I'm here on a date.

Oh, I'm sorry. You probably
don't know what that is.

Actually, I'm on a date too.

Oh.

And here's my date now. Hi, Jack.

Wha... you're here on a date with Jack?!

- Yes, I am!
- I'm here with who now?

Come on, Jack. I saved us seats.

Uh, buh-bye, Kim.

Whoa, you're here on
a date with Lindsay?

Uh, no no. I... I'm not.

Jerry, what is going on?

No hablo ingles, señor.

Jerry!

Dude, it was the only way that I
would get Katie to go out with me.

You gotta do this for me, man. Please.

Fine.

- Kim, would you be okay if I sat with...
- Of course! Yeah.

Apparently Lindsay's your date.
Why wouldn't you sit with your date?

And since you and I aren't on a date,
I'll go sit with Eddie! [Laughing]

- You didn't save me a seat?
- Why should I?

It's not like we're on a date.

Are we?

Uh, hi. Excuse me, Sir. Is that seat...

Rudy?!

What are you doing?!

[Whispering] Getting the senior discount.
Now sit down before you blow my cover.

Hey, just so you know.

I go to the little boys' room
between and times an hour.

[Cell phone ringing]

Oh, seriously?! Who is the jerk?!

First time at the movies?

Ha ha, am I right?

Am... oh, that's me, isn't it?

Oh, boy!

Trying to get another senior
discount, are we, Rudy?

Well, you may have dodged me at the
early bird buffet, but I gotcha now!

[Old man voice] I'm not Rudy. I'm Sammy!

Yeah, and I'm Queen of the Zompires.

[Screams]

[Chortles]

Dancing wieners.

Seriously?

They just left me here?

Nice friends.

Jack?

Rudy?

Anybody?

[Pounding on door]

Jerry? What happened?
What's going on around here?

[Growls]

What it do...

Girl?

[Belches loudly]

Hey, Zompire!

Hey!

Over here, pasty face.

[Hisses]

It's falafel time.

Hoo-ah! Right between the fangs!

[Gulps] [Stomach gurgles]

[Groans]

Jack, you all right?

How do you know my name?

Hey, that was my last falafel ball.

It's only gonna slow him
down for a few minutes.

We should get back in the rebel base.

I'm not going anywhere until
someone tells me what's going on.

- [Roar]
- [Screaming]

Or you know, we can go
inside first. I'm flexible.

What is going on?!

I'll tell you what's going on.

We're at w*r with the Zompires.

When they first came we
thought there was one or two...

Or three or four, five...

Rudy!

There were thousands of 'em.

They came crawling up from
the sewers below Seaford.

I was on the toilet when one came up.

The multiplied by burping
into humans' faces.

And the worst part, they
never say "excuse me".

[Metal clanking]

- Where did you go?
- Jack sent me to get supplies.

Fresh water, batteries.

Hair spray.

The end of the world doesn't have to
mean the end of my beautiful bouncy hair.

I'm Lindsay, Jack's girlfriend.

Who are you?

I really hate this world.

Her name's Kim.

We found her wandering outside and had
to use our last falafel ball to save her.

You wasted our last ball on her?!

I don't trust her.

Give her the test.

There's only one person
that can give her...

The test.

I'll summon the rebel leader.

- Rebel leader!
- [Door opens]

Can we trust you?

Um. Yeah.

She passed. Hey, you play softball?
We really need a first baseman.

[Beeping]

It's from the Professor! He wants
us to come to his secret lab.

He's found a way to turn
Zompires back into humans.

This means we'll have something
we haven't had in a while.

Toilet paper?

No. Hope.

Let me know when you get toilet paper.

[Soft music playing]

[Music stops]

Welcome, Rebels, to my secret lab.

Thank you for removing your shoes.

[Crashing and glass shattering]

I give you mankind's salvation.

The Krupnick coil!

This super powerful refractometer
emits a light so intense,

it pierces the Zompire's
inner darkness...

Turning them back into humans.

Jerry: Yeah. Not gonna happen.

[Zapping]

- Oopsie.
- You fiend!

He just destroyed our
only chance of survival

against the most evil
force man has ever known.

And he didn't take off his shoes.

How did you find the Professor's
secret underground lab?

Why don't you ask your girlfriend?

I did it. For us.

I made a deal, Jack.

The Zompires'll spare us.

You and I can be together.

[Chuckles]

Yeah... about that deal.

I lied.

[Belches loudly]

I'm gonna go on record and say she
may be the worst girlfriend ever.

[Hisses]

[All growling and hissing]

Sir, it has been an
honor to serve with you.

One last request, rebel leader.

Permission to cry like a little girl.

[Sobbing] Permission granted.

- Jack, what are you doing?
- Getting us out of here.

[Dance music playing]

Can't resist...

Urge to...

Dance!

Zompires, let's do this thing.

[Growling]

[Exhales] Really, Zompire Jerry? Really?

How did you know that music
would make Jerry dance?

Well, before he was a
Zompire, Jerry was one of us.

Music was his weakness.

And girls.

And math. And tying shoelaces.

He had a lot of weaknesses.

The only thing left of my
refractometer is this crystal diode,

wrapped up in this wad of toilet paper.

I'll take the toilet paper.

See you people in about a week.

Is there anything we can
do with the crystal diode?

Well, there is one prototype coil.

But it's in the darkest,
scariest, most evil place on Earth.

The snake cave on the edge of town that
goes down to the bowels of the underworld?

Worse.

- School!
- [All gasp]

We're going to the Zompires' lair.

The school.

That place is scarier than the
snake caves on the edge of town

that reach into the
bowels of the underworld.

That's why we need all
the falafel balls you got.

Happy to help.

$ !

- Each!
- But we're trying to save humanity!

Oh, why didn't you say so?

$ !

Each!

Don't you care about saving the world?

No, not really.

The Zompire apocalypse has
been great for the business.

No falafel ball for you! Get out!

[Bleats]

Tootsie. What's wrong? Something
seems different about you?

Is it my demonic red eyes?
My mouth full of fangs?

The fact that I'm
talking to you right now?

What was the first one again?

I'm a Zompire goat, you dimwit!

Yes, that's it! That's the one!

[Belches loudly]

- Look out!
- All: No!

Tootsie!

[Growls]

Eddie!

Not my Tootsie!

You really think this
is going to work, Jack?

Yes. They won't be awake for hours

and if they do wake up, this
makeup will help us blend in.

I'm sorry for yelling at
you to do my makeup, Kim.

But as the new rebel leader, it wouldn't
look right if I had to do my own.

No, I get it.

Happy to help.

If it's here, the coil will
be in the multipurpose room

with the other science fair projects.

Guys, we have to be quiet.
Nobody make any loud noises.

[Cell phone ringing]

Seriously? Who's the jerk?

First time in an evil Zompire's...

Oh, wait. That's me.

Sorry. That's just poor planning.

[Growling]

Oh, no. You woke up Joan!
Queen of the Zompires.

Oh...

Lookee what we have here.

A cute little panda boy and his friends.

I'm not a panda. Kim, why
does she think I'm a panda?

Oh, you panda'd me, didn't you?

A little bit.

How dare you dress up
and sneak into my lair?

[Belches loudly]

[Chuckles]

Pandas.

- Phil, cover us!
- Okay, Jack. I'll hold them back.

Ah, is that all you got, Zompires?!

You think you're all that?
You're not so tough, huh?!

Whoa! Okay, I didn't see that coming.

Wait wait. I was just
kidding. Go back to bed.

♪ Back to bed. Nighty night.

♪ Please stop and sleep tight.

The coil has to be
around here somewhere.

[Snorts]

Look. Some loser grew a bean in a cup.

Here's the coil! I just need time to
install the crystal diode, and it'll work.

I don't think that's gonna happen.

Jack! Kim! Stop him!

[Grunts]

Kim, falafel ball!

[Gulps] [Stomach gurgles]

Oh no! I hate school bathrooms.

Kim, we did it. We did it!

Jack, behind you!

It's your crazy Zompire ex-girlfriend!

[Belches loudly]

No!

- Jack?
- Kim. Get away from me.

How are we coming with that coil?

The diode's in place.
I just need to turn it...

[Belches loudly]

Little bump in the road.

[Growling]

What are you doing?
Don't turn her, Jack.

You are supposed to be spending
the rest of eternity with me.

I've literally been a Zompire for
seconds and you're already smothering me.

You just wanna burp on her because
you like her, I knew it! Admit it!

Oh, so this is how it's
gonna be for all eternity.

- My mother warned me about...
- Let it go!

- Boys like you!
- Woman! Shh! Shh!

- Stop! Just shh!
- You guys need to lighten up.

- You okay?
- You did it. You saved me.

I was not gonna let you
spend eternity with her.

You belong with me. You belong with me.

You belong with me.

Not gonna happen, cookie. I've been with
the same woman since before electricity.

[Exhales]

It was all just a dream.

Let's go. [Sighs]

I had so much fun with you.
Wanna go grab some fro-yo?

I'd love to...

I... I just... I have to
help Kim with her, um...

Science project! I'm growing a bean.

I have to help her grow a bean.

Buh-bye, Lindsay.

Oh, thank you so much for the save.

Sitting next to her was like
sitting next to a Zombie.

- So did you like the movie?
- Couldn't have hated it more.

But I like the way it ended.

I didn't really like the ending.
The way the Zombie and the Vampire...

I'm never going to a PG movie again.

Man in movie: Maybe your
back legs don't work so well,

but I used my bicycle
to make you some braces.

[Horse whinnies]

Oh, yeah! There you go!
There you go, boy. Now run!

- Ha!
- [Bicycle bell rings]

This may be the worst
movie I've ever seen.

But I'm glad I'm here with you.

Yeah, me too.

[Sobbing] This is the
best movie I've ever seen.

[Sobbing] Run like the wind, Juniper.

Like the wind!