Next time on Cheers...
I've left the Eco-pod.
For a job at a gas station?
Lilith's back, but things
have changed just a little bit.
How long has Frasier
been sleeping with Rebecca?
Say what? Beg your pardon?
What's next, me and Carla?
Yes, sir, like they
say, time marches on.
That boat has sailed.
Next time on Cheers...
she's back.
And for how long... till somebody
opens a colony on Venus?
Last week on Cheers:
Oh, Frasier, I'm sorry.
I must have fallen asleep.
What time is it?
Well, it's pretty late.
Uh, I guess I...
I'll go downstairs
and, uh, sleep on the couch.
Maybe I should just go.
No, no, you don't
have to go home.
You don't have to
sleep on the couch.
Just a second.
Frasier, what was that?
What was what?
I thought I heard a door slam.
You don't think those
guys are back, do you?
No. No, impossible. I
locked and dead-bolted it.
They'd need a key to get in.
Now, where were we?
Let's make this a
night we'll never forget.
Frasier.
Lilith?
Rebecca?!
Am I the only one who
feels awkward here?
Where is Frederick?
I didn't see him in his room.
He's with your mother.
Fine. Then I'll just go and let you
do whatever it was you were doing.
Lilith!
Lilith!
It was nice to see
you again, Lilith.
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
♪ You wanna be
where you can see ♪
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
♪ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
All right, exactly how long
has this been going on?!
Lilith?
What's the matter, Sam?
You look like
you've seen a ghost.
Oh, I'm sorry. You did.
Lilith, I-I-I thought
you were in that, uh...
I've left the Eco-pod.
For a job at a gas station?
Look... everybody, Lilith!
Well, my goodness...
uh, the-the, you know,
the time in the pod thing
has really done
you a world of...
You look so...
Your skin is, uh...
Hey, Lilith's back, huh?
Sam, please!
Tell me what's been going on!
How long has Frasier
been sleeping with Rebecca?
Beg your pardon?
Did he at least have the courtesy
to wait until I was in the ground?
Lil... Lil...
Frasier's not sleeping
with Rebecca!
Oh, well, perhaps you
should tell them that.
I just saw them in
my bed together.
Rebecca and Frasier...
You're kidding me.
How long has this been going on?
I'm asking you!
I can't believe...
We... we were just over there!
We, we were watching
Three Stooges tapes with him.
Well, maybe she was upstairs
the whole time and
we didn't know about it.
Well, yeah, after we left,
maybe he just
toddled on upstairs
and gave her the
old nyuk-nyuk-nyuk.
Rebecca and Frasier...
Am I to understand this is a
relatively new development?
Big news to us. CLIFF:
Who would have thought it?
Rebecca and Frasier, huh?
What's next, me and Carla?
Don't say it, Clavin,
don't you even think it.
See that?
It almost turned into a kiss.
You know what? I think
this is good for them.
They've been moping around
the last couple of months,
mooning about their
love life and everything.
They found each other.
This is very nice, I think.
Yeah.
Well, hear-hear!
To Rebecca and Frasier!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
I'm still in the room!
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, Lilith.
I can't believe
this has happened.
I come home to resume my life
and find that my husband has
taken up with another woman.
Well, why don't you... why
don't you take your coat off,
sit down and just
cool out for a while?
Oh, I can't, Sam...
I'm too wound up.
I've got half a mind to
go back to that bedroom
and wring Frasier's neck.
Frasier's...? Aren't you being
a little out of line here, Lilith?
I mean, the guy's
only being human.
You were the one who walked
out of here with another man.
Oh, God, you're right.
It's just that I wanted
to come back so badly
and resume my life.
As naive and selfish
as it sounds, I just assumed
he would be waiting for me.
Listen, go get some sleep.
I'll bet you in the morning
you and Frasier
can work things out.
That's a good idea, Sam. Yeah.
Where am I gonna sleep?
I wanted to stay at home,
and now I've got no place to go.
I've got an attic you
can hang upside down in.
Sam, if you could lend
me a little money for a hotel,
I'd really appreciate it.
No problem, no problem.
Thank you.
You know, I'll be right back.
I'm going to call my mother
and check up on Frederick.
You know, I have to say that
after being cooped
up underground
for the last six months, it's
very nice to see people again.
Even you people.
That was sweet.
Can you believe this stuff?
Yeah, I'd like to see
the look on Frasier's face
when Lilith walked in.
I'm sure he was shocked.
I mean, what would you do, Norm,
if you walked in and found
Vera with another man?
Well, I'd probably buy
a couple of his pencils
and send him on his way.
Frederick is fine.
I worry, though, sometimes
that my mother may be too
overprotective and smothering.
You got to watch that...
That'll really screw a kid up.
Here's your money.
Thank you, Sam.
So, that, uh...
pod thing didn't work out, huh?
Suffice it to say
that Dr. Pascal and I
determined that two human beings
cannot live together
underground.
You and I could, Norm.
Would you stop
saying that, Cliff?
Lilith. Here you are.
I've been looking
all over for you.
What in the world
are you doing here?
I've come home, Frasier.
Oh, my God.
I've left the pod, and I
spent the last three days
on a bus to come home to you.
I don't understand. Frasier,
I realize that my leaving
you was very hurtful,
and I understand
your seeking comfort
in the arms of another woman.
We won't mention it.
We'll just put it behind us
and-and get on with our lives.
What I'm trying
to say, Frasier, is...
You want me back?
Oh, yes, I want you back!
You hear that, everybody?
Frasier and Lilith are
back together again!
Aw, it makes me so happy!
Here, free drinks on
the house! All right!
Just a minute, Sam... I
haven't taken her back.
Oh, sorry, Mr. Peterson.
Wait, wait, come on, now.
Now, you two kids
belong together.
Come on.
The unmitigated gall!
You think you can walk back
into my life and patch it up again
as quickly as you destroyed
it?! Frasier, I'm sorry.
All right, she's sorry...
Beers for everybody!
Come on.
Frasier, please.
More than anything,
I want our life back.
What about your
boyfriend, Dr. Pascal?
I don't love him. I love you.
Oh, really?
So you've come back to
reliable old Frasier, have you?
And for how long?
Till somebody opens
a colony on Venus?!
Frasier, don't be ridiculous.
If we go to Venus, I think
we should do it as a family.
Lilith, I have to talk
to you in private.
Okay, it doesn't
have to be in private.
Lilith, listen, please
let me explain.
Rebecca, you don't have
to explain anything to her.
You and I can pick up
right where we left off.
Really? Absolutely!
Come on over here and
give me a big wet one.
Frasier, let me just
speak to you in my office,
please. Oh, okay, even better.
Heh! Sam, hold
my calls, will you?
Sofa pulls out, you know.
Sorry things aren't working out.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
It isn't over, yet, Sam.
I know my Frasier.
He doesn't take well to
sudden developments,
but he'll come around.
I'm as determined
to get him back
as I was to leave him.
Well, that's...
that's good, that's good.
Frasier, um...
listen, I know that Lilith coming
back changes everything,
and... so I'm just gonna
step out of the picture
and... and there's
no hard feelings.
That bitch!
Thinks she can
waltz back into my life
and start calling the sh*ts?
I know that what we almost
had was very special, but...
we have a very
special friendship, too,
so I think that we
should just leave it at that.
Eco-pod my big white butt!
I was that close to
popping her, you know that?
If she weren't the mother
of my child, I'd have done it!
I-I think we should
just focus here,
because, y-you know, Frasier,
I'm trying to be very gentle,
because I want to
let you down easy.
I don't want to
break your heart.
"I spent three days on
a bus," wah, wah, wah.
Well, cry me a river, bun-head!
For God's sake, Frasier,
will you listen to me!
I'm trying to tell
you something!
Oh. I'm sorry, Rebecca.
I've been rude; I apologize.
It's just, I can't believe
that she's come back.
Frasier...
you know, what we almost did,
I think it would have
been real special,
but...
I think maybe it's better that
we just remain good friends.
I suppose you're right.
Well, what might have been, huh?
For what it's worth,
I'm sorry things
didn't work out.
Hi. Can I talk to
Rebecca alone, please?
Bar business.
Sure, Sam.
Oh, God, Sam,
why do I always
screw everything up?!
All I was doing was
giving a friend a ride home.
And then you know
how things happen.
You know, a kiss leads to a hug
and a hug leads to the bed,
and then the wife comes in
and wants to know
what you're doing there.
Why do I always make
such a mess of things?!
So who was better,
me or Frasier?
Oh!
What?
I-I don't have feelings, too?!
Frasier, I know
that I've hurt you,
and I realize now
that the only way
to get you back is to beg.
So here I go.
I'm sorry, Lilith.
Begging won't work.
I'm not gonna hang
around and be the safety net
every time you fall from
one of your flights of fancy.
That boat has sailed.
That gate has closed.
Alice doesn't live here anymore.
Damn you, Frasier!
I know that somewhere
inside of you,
you still have deep
feelings for me,
and I'm willing to wait.
If I have to wait
a hundred years,
I'm going to get you back!
You hear that, guys?
Come on, free beer, let's go.
Aw, Lilith.
Louis!
Pascal! What are you doing here?
Try to stop me, Crane.
I've come to take
Lilith back to our home
under the dirt,
where we're safe.
Louis, I'm not going back there.
How can you abandon the
oneness of our subterranean life
for this world of surfies?
Surface dwellers.
Because this
is where I want to be.
Our experiment failed, Louis,
and so did our love affair.
I'm not leaving
without you, Lilith.
I demand that you
accompany me this instant.
And if I don't?
Then I'll be forced to sh**t you
a-a-and everyone
else in this bar.
What's it gonna be?
Louis, I'm not
going back with you.
So I guess you're just
going to have to sh**t us.
Welcome back, Lilith.
I'm warning you, unless Lilith
agrees to go back with me,
you're all dead.
You don't scare me, Pascal.
Yeah? Why not?
Because I happen
to own every copy
of Soldier of Fortune
ever published.
I'm telling you people,
no "ifs" "ands" or "buts",
that there's no working
p*stol with that configuration.
I did miss the Christmas issue.
All right, get back, get back!
Don't push me.
The importance of the Eco-pod
is far greater than
any one human life.
Sam...
John, John, it's
not a good time.
Sam, I've put up with
your rock and roll music,
your loud parties
and your fights.
But now you've sh*t
Ruben the busboy in the foot.
He's an undocumented
alien without health insurance,
and that puts me
in a bit of a jam.
Oh...
A bigger jam.
Everybody but
Lilith behind the bar!
All right, answer the
phone, but act natural.
Cheers.
Just a second.
Mr. Peterson,
it's Mrs. Peterson.
See, it's my wife.
Um, I'll get rid of her.
Woody, cover me.
Uh, Vera?
Uh, yes, yes, I know it's late.
You see, we're being held
hostage by a mad gunman, and...
What do you mean I've
used that one before?
No-no-no, you see, no-no,
honey, wait, wait, hey, hey!
Put the g*n down, Louis.
Why are you being so foolish?
Because I can't
live without you!
I miss you.
And Dr. Jaworski
misses you, too.
Dr. Jaworski?!
What? There were three
scientists in the Eco-pod?
Did you sleep with him, too?!
Dr. Jaworski isn't a scientist.
He's Loui" imaginary friend.
Did I forget to mention
that Louis is insane?
Turns out he's claustrophobic.
We discovered that little
fact about 30 seconds
after they closed
the steel doors.
Hey, guys, I know you're
having a party in there.
Let me in.
Who's that at the hatch?
That's nobody, nobody important.
We'll see about that.
So what's the big secret?
What's going on?
Paul, we're being held hostage!
Fine, then don't tell me.
Get with the others.
Actually, I don't
belong with the others.
I, I never quite
fit in. Ask anyone.
No, he doesn't.
Shut up! Shut up!
Get behind the bar! Go on.
All right, Lilith,
if you want to play
the waiting game,
I'm prepared to play along.
I give you just ten minutes
to make up your mind.
If you won't leave with
me then, I start sh**ting.
And this is the man
you wanted to marry?!
Who says I wanted to marry him?
Two days ago, I got a Mailgram
saying you wanted a divorce.
Correction, I sent
that Mailgram.
I thought that with
you out of the way,
Lilith and I would be free
to spend the rest
of our lives together.
But then Lilith escaped.
By the way, it was
very clever of you
putting that papier-mâché
bust of yourself in your cot.
I must admit,
I kissed it more than
once before I got wise.
You have nine minutes left.
Hey, I got a plan. Come here.
Lilith, Lilith, here's the plan.
Okay, you go back to
the Eco-pod with Pascal.
And then what?
And then the plan's done.
Don't panic. I know Louis.
He's a little upset right now,
but he's essentially harmless.
He won't do anything that
would cause anyone any harm.
The hell I won't!
I'll sh**t everyone in this
bar if I have to to get you back!
Listen, okay, okay.
All right, all right, I got it.
How about I sob uncontrollably
and-and lose control
of my bodily functions?
Cliff, is that a plan?
No, actually, it's
more of a warning.
No, no, no, I, I've
got one. Come here.
I'll go up there and
I'll come on to him.
I'll flirt with him,
and I'll distract him.
Any other thoughts?
Anyone?
You're a psychiatrist.
Talk to the man.
You must be trained in
some kind of technique.
I was afraid somebody
would bring that up.
All right, all right.
I do recall taking some
sort of an oath once.
Good luck. Good luck.
Keep your distance, Crane!
Okay.
I, I just want to
talk to you, Louis.
Do you mind if I
call you "Louis"?
Listen, Louis, I,
I've been there.
I've felt the hurt.
I've felt the abandonment.
I've felt what it's like
when a woman tears
your entire life apart.
Believe me, I've
been there, my friend.
Even just looking at Lilith
now brings back all the pain
and the torment I've
suffered every second
for the last six months.
Please, put the g*n down, Louis.
See, I got through it.
So will you.
Just put the g*n down.
Nice speech, Crane, but get out
of my way or I swear to God
you're gonna be
the first one to go!
Oh, I can't stand this anymore.
Look, Louis, if you're going
to sh**t someone, sh**t me.
I won't go back with you,
and you don't want me back.
I'd only make you
more miserable.
I can't sh**t you, Lilith.
Well, you're going
to have to do it, Louis.
That's the only way to end this.
Give me the g*n, Louis.
I'm sorry, Lilith!
Well, Sam, thanks for another
delightful evening at Cheers.
We must do it again sometime.
I'm, uh, sorry about this, John.
Next time you come on
down, drinks are on the house.
Oh, then it's all worthwhile.
Boy, look at that
poor muleyak, huh?
I really pity him.
It really makes you
think, though, doesn't it?
Where is that fine line
between sanity and insanity?
Look behind you, Clavin.
You stepped over
it about a year ago.
Are you all right, Lilith?
Yes, I think so.
Good.
Frasier...
do we have any
chance for reconciliation?
I'm sorry, Lilith, but no.
I just can't go
through this again.
I understand.
And I'll respect your wishes.
Frasier, you know, I hadn't
realized just how deeply
I'd wounded you until I
heard what you said to Louis.
All I can say is please
don't hate me forever.
I'll check into a hotel.
Maybe we can meet
tomorrow and sort out
the... divorce proceedings.
I think that would be best.
What's that sound?
Sounds like she's got a
pretzel stuck in her throat.
As hard as it may be to believe,
that is the sound of
my wife... sobbing.
Hey, say something, will you?
Just make her stop.
I'll handle this.
Now, Lilith, I'm just
gonna say this once,
so hear me.
No matter how much you sob,
no matter how much you plead,
we are not going to Venus.
Oh, Frasier!
Welcome home, Lilith.
Oh!
Boy, that's beautiful.
Start pouring, Wood.