06x15 - Girl-Shy

[bunniefuu]

[Whistling]

(andy) oh, thank you.

[Crickets chirping]

well, I sure am lookin' forward to tomorrow night.

Oh, so am i. Yeah.

Why don't you pick the restaurant this time?

Oh, no. You pick it.

Well, you pick it. We'll go anywhere you say.

Oh, any place you say is fine.

Well, I hear they have a lovely new

chinese restaurant in mt. Pilot.

Dave's hong kong.

Hey, that sounds good. You wanna go there? Fine.

But... Yeah, what?

Well, just that

it's a lot more fun going to a chinese restaurant

if there are more than people.

That's right, andy. You get to try a lot more things.

With , you get egg foo young,

and with , they add sweet and sour shrimp.

Oh, I know a very nice girl if we could get her a date.

Sue ann mcgrath, she works over at the dime store.

Oh, that sweet little girl. Yes, we had a nice chat together.

She sold me some moth balls.

She's only been in town a few weeks.

I know she'd just love it if we could get her a date.

Well, I'll tell you the truth. I'm not too crazy

about fixin' people up with blind dates.

Well, what about warren?

[Chuckles]

you know, I don't think he's had a date since he's been in town.

Well, maybe he's shy. Yeah.

I'll never forget my first blind date.

Orville buck.

We went ice-skating.

He had the weakest ankles. I had to hold him up all night.

[Snickers]

besides that, we disliked each other right from the start.

We fought about everything.

See? That proves what I say about blind dates.

He was k*lled later in an expl*si*n.

Hmm.

Listen, andy, why don't... Why don't you just mention it to warren

and see what he says?

Ok, I'll sound him out.

(Andy) oh, hi, warren.

How you doin', andy? What's all this?

Oh, well, my, uh, landlady's brother's in town,

and the hotel's full up, so I told him to stay at my place.

You know how I am. Oh, yeah.

And I thought I'd stay in the back room just for tonight.

Oh, sure. I see you brought your entertainment with you.

Somethin' to do, right? Yeah.

♪ [Scatting]

hey, warren.

Yes, andy?

Uh, how's, uh,

how's your social life? You been, um, goin' out much?

Well, no, not... Not too much.

Actually, you know, I've been pretty busy. Hmm.

I guess back home you went out right much though, huh?

[Laughing]

are you... Are you kiddin'?

[Both laughing]

andy, that was one of the reasons why I had to leave town.

Yeah? It was too much.

No kiddin'? They were all over me, andy.

[Laughing] oh, really?

Well, you know how it is. I mean, a guy in uniform,

you know, single, big future, a little charm, savoir-faire.

You know what I mean? Huh? Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You said it, andy. Yeah.

But, uh, you haven't found anybody here yet.

Um, no, no.

Oh, I mean, they've been givin' me the big eye, you know?

But I haven't had time. You know how that is when you're busy.

Yeah.

Well, uh, that's the reason I brought it up, warren.

Helen and I are thinking about going to a chinese restaurant

up in mt. Pilot tonight,

and was wonderin' if you'd like to come along.

Hey, andy, that's great. Gee, thanks.

Chinese restaurant. I love it. I love... I love chinese food.

Well, good. I'll tell helen you'll come.

Great. Sure, I'll go. Good.

She's got a little girl she can get for you.

Girl? Well, yeah, a girl.

You mean, a date?

Well, certainly.

[Clears throat]

I just remembered somethin', andy.

What?

Um, my blue suit, it's in the cleaners.

I spilled tapioca on it, and maybe some other time.

Well, why don't you wear your sport coat and slacks?

That's what I'm gonna wear.

Well, not on a date, andy. I just wouldn't feel comfortable.

Oh.

Oh, believe me, andy, i... I'd love to go with you, but...

Well, if I'm not dressed properly, I just couldn't enjoy the evenin'.

That's how I am. That's the way I am. You understand?

Well, sure, I understand.

I'll be out in a minute.

Well, warren, we're leavin'.

[Snickers]

ok, there, there we are.

Now, if you go anywhere, let sarah know where you are.

So if anything happens, she can get in touch with you.

I'll be right here all night, andy.

Ok.

[Telephone ringing]

hello. I'll get it. I'll get it. Hello?

Oh, hello, sheriff mitchell.

Really?

Anybody hurt?

Oh, well, that's good.

Right. Ok. Right.

What is it, andy?

Oh, a wreck out on the highway. Oh.

Traffic's all snarled up for miles.

Sheriff mitchell wants me to come out there and help him clear it up.

Well, andy, you've got a date. I can handle that.

I better go out there. Well, I'll see you.

Andy, we'd better hurry, or we'll lose our reservation.

Listen, there's been an accident out on the highway.

I got to go out there and help 'em clear it up.

Oh, darn. Yeah.

Well, how long will you be?

A couple hours, I guess.

Well, look, i... I- I'll find something else to do

and meet you back here about : ? Ok.

I'll come back as quick as I can.

Well, what to do now?

Uh, warren, are you gonna eat?

No.

Well, not at all?

Well, maybe, uh, later.

Well, I guess I'll go ahead and get a bite to eat then.

[Clearing throat] yeah.

I don't know then whether to come back here

and brush up on my typing or... Or go to a movie or...

Well, our... Our typewriter's in pretty bad shape.

It needs what you call an overhaul.

The "s" keeps stickin'.

Oh.

Well, I guess I'll go to a movie, then.

It's a good idea. It's a good movie.

Well, listen, I'll see you later then, warren.

Bye-bye. Bye.

[Door closing]

[door opening]

hey, warren. Oh, hey, goober.

So, would you like to do anything tonight?

Just gonna sit here for a while and watch t.v.

Any good programs on? Are you kiddin'?

international secret agent, f . that's all.

Boy, I'm goin' to see that.

Tonight is called "mission istanbul." Istanbul, huh?

I love shows about istanbul, always full of action.

It started already.

♪ [Music playing on t.v.]

See, that's istanbul.

You can always tell. They have them round roofs over there.

Yeah. Hey, there he is.

International secret agent f .

Yeah, that's michael glenville. Boy, he's a great actor.

Even the way he walks, you know.

Real high-class. Oh, he's suave. That's what he is, suave.

Uh-oh. Here comes a girl. Well, naturally.

That's another thing about istanbul. Must be % women,

and they're all beautiful.

The way he smiles at her. He's suave. He's suave.

(iliana) hello, brent.

(brent) hello, iliana.

oh, don't move.

don't move?

the light shimmering through your hair.

i want to remember you that way.

just stand there and let me look at you.

that boy's got it. He's got it.

oh, darling, you're not leaving?

orders.

where this time?

dubrovnik. Oh, no.

[brent speaking french]

that's french. Yeah. That's suave.

will you come back?

yes.

when, brent, when?

tomorrow.

a year from tomorrow. Oh.

why must it always be this way with us?

i know.

if ever people were meant for each other...

he's gonna kiss her.

He's gonna make his play now.

[iliana moaning]

[lips smacking]

she's like putty in his hands.

Suavity. That's what does it. Sheer suavity.

Well, there he goes.

He's leaving for dubrovnik. Yeah.

[Snoring]

[sighs]

uh, hello, sarah?

Uh, have you heard whether that traffic jam

out on the highway has been cleared up yet?

No, no. It's not important. Yeah. Uh, thanks, anyway.

[Sighs]

don't move.

Oh, hi, warren.

Don't move.

Why not?

The light shimmering through your hair.

Well, what about it?

Just stand there.

Oh, it's kind of breezy out. It might have gotten messy.

I wanna remember you that way.

Warren, what is this?

[Speaking french]

what? If ever people were meant for each other...

Oh, warren. For heaven's sake.

I'll see you tomorrow. Tomorrow.

A year from tomorrow?

Now, warren. Warren?

Now, wa... Warren, no...

Warren.

(Helen) andy.

[Laughs]

you're always up to something, aren't you?

Oh, get me out of here!

Well, ok.

What are you doin' in there anyway?

Well, just ask the monster!

Ask the monster? Warren!

Warren's a monster?

He chased me, andy! He was chasing me!

He chased you?

I said so!

Warren chased you? Yes.

Warren chased me. Your shy little deputy warren chased me!

Oh, come on.

Well, ask him, andy. Just ask him!

He's right back there! Go ahead!

[Snoring]

warren, wake up. Wake up.

What is it, andy? What is it?

Oh.

How's everything out on the highway, andy?

Never mind about the highway.

What's this about you chasin' helen?

Me chasin' helen? I don't know what you're talkin' about.

I want an explanation and I want it right now.

Andy, I was asleep till you woke me up. He... He chased me!

You... You don't think I locked myself in the cell for my health?

I never chased a woman in my life. I swear.

You did, too!

I'm a gentleman.

I'm from boston.

I'm telling you, he chased me, andy.

He chased me and he tried to kiss me,

and if you're not gonna do anything about it, I'm going home!

Now, now, now, wait a minute, helen. I don't understand!

[Speaking french]

wait a minute.

[Door closing]

[inaudible]

goober.

Goober, take a good look at me.

What do I look like to you?

I look like an ordinary guy, right?

Well, uh...

The truth of the matter is, goober,

I'm a sleepwalker.

You're a what? A sleepwalker.

A man who walks in his sleep.

[Whistles]

yeah, yeah.

And that's not all.

There's more.

I might as well tell you the rest of it.

Last night I chased helen crump

all around the courthouse. All around it.

She finally had to lock herself in the cell.

You chased helen. That's right.

In your sleep. In my sleep.

You do this a lot, warren?

Well, it's happened before.

It usually takes somethin' to trigger it.

Well, like last night.

Andy asked me out for a date and I said no.

I don't know. I just get nervous with girls. I don't know.

I do, too. Especially the pretty ones.

Well, when I see somethin' like secret agent f ,

and suddenly I'm him.

Well, seems there ought to be somethin' you can do about it, warren.

Oh, yeah, sure. Sure there is.

I can stay awake all night, like I did last night, and worry.

I haven't shut my eyes since andy came in and woke me up.

Warren, if I was you, I'd tell andy about this.

Now, andy's a understandin' fella.

I can't do that, goober.

Don't you see that...

Well, do you think andy wants a deputy, a man with trust

that walks in his sleep?

Uh-huh. No, no.

No, I'm just gonna wait and hope the whole thing blows over.

What are you doin', warren?

Tryin' to stay awake. So it can't happen again.

Helen, there's no point,

no point in the world in our fightin' about this thing.

I promise you I'm gonna find warren

and one way or another I'm gonna straighten this thing out.

Ok?

Ok.

[Sighs]

how long you think you'll be here this afternoon?

Well, I have a p.t.a. Meeting at : .

Well, you wanna stop by the office on your way home?

Maybe I'll have somethin' to report.

Well, all right.

Friends?

Friends. Ok.

♪ [music playing on radio]

[telephone ringing]

hello?

Hello?

Oh, andy.

Uh, well, I've been out. Out!

Right now?

Ok. I'll be right over.

(Andy) warren.

You wanted to see me, andy?

Yes, I do. Sit down.

Now, I want the truth about what happened last night.

I don't blame you.

I know you and helen must be bothered.

You better know helen and I are bothered.

Now, I want the plain, unvarnished truth.

[Yawning] I wish I could help you.

Now look, warren, I know helen doesn't lie.

No, she's a wonderful person.

Do you have to keep yawnin' like that?

Sorry.

Now, I wanna tell you somethin', warren.

One way or another,

I'm gonna find out what happened last night.

Well, andy, I'm with you %.

I want you to tell me every move you made

from the time I left here.

Well...

Uh, I went in the back room.

All right.

Let's go.

You were in the back room. Yeah.

Well?

Well, uh, me and goober, we, uh, watched t.v. For a while.

You watched t.v.? Yeah.

Then I got tired, yeah.

Decided to turn in yeah.

And I took off my shoes took off your shoes.

And, uh, laid down on the couch.

All right. You laid down on the couch.

[Telephone ringing] now...

You stay right there.

Hello?

Oh, yes, miss purvis.

Up in the tree again, is he?

Well, did you try pokin' him?

You did.

Well, look, miss purvis,

I can't come over there every time you and mr. Purvis have a fight

and get him down out of the tree.

All right. I'll come over.

All right.

[Warren snoring] all right, warren.

Warren!

[Continues snoring]

oh, for pete's sake.

Andy?

Andy!

[Sighing]

(warren) don't move.

Don't move.

Warren.

[Speaking french]

warren. Now... Now, warren.

The light shimmering through your hair.

Warren, I'm warning you... You, now.

[Warren snoring]

all right, warren, wake up. Come on, wake up.

Let's go. Let's go. Ok.

I got some more questions I wanna ask you.

Ok. Now sit down.

Yeah.

Now, you say you did not see helen

from the time she left until the time I woke you up.

That's correct. Yeah.

I don't understand it.

You sound like you're tellin' the truth.

Oh, yeah?

Helen!

Andy, you get me out of here. Warren!

Oh, andy, believe me, this is as much a mystery to me as it is to you.

Andy, if you'd done something about this in the first place,

this never would've happened. Goodbye!

[Door closing]

well, warren, I guess that about wraps it up.

I know helen isn't jumpin' in that cell all the time

because she wants to be near my work.

Look, andy... I'm sorry, warren. You're fired.

Well, you ought not to leave town, warren.

[Sighing]

no other choice.

That's the reason I called you.

There are a few things I won't be takin' with me.

I thought maybe you'd like to have 'em.

Well, yeah. I guess so.

An orange juice squeezer.

Hey, that's beautiful.

You like to read? I don't mind.

It's called the moonmen inv*de venus on giant bats.

science fiction. Oh.

How about a brick?

Just one? Uh-huh.

Ok.

My television set, i... Well, I can't give that away,

but would you be interested in buyin' it?

Well, gee, I don't know, warren.

Over at the courthouse it didn't get too good a reception.

Well, that was location. Works fine here. Look. I'll show you.

Well, see, it comes right in there.

♪ [music playing]

boy, that fred astaire sure can dance, can't he? Can't he?

He's one of my favorite actors.

I never miss a fred astaire movie.

Um. What do you say, $ ?

Warren, I still think you're doin' the wrong thing

by not tellin' andy about this.

It wouldn't make any difference. I'd still be fired, goober.

Well, you can't help it, 'cause you're a sleepwalker.

Andy'll understand that.

Well... And you're fired anyway.

Yeah.

You got a point. I wouldn't have anything to lose, would i?

Not a thing.

Andy, I'm gonna make a clean breast of this whole thing.

Now this may shock you, but...

Nothin's gonna shock me, warren.

Just tell me the truth. And excuse me.

No, aunt bee. Please don't go.

You might as well hear this, too.

[Knocking on door] oh.

There's helen. I told her to come over.

Oh, hello, andy. And goodbye.

Now wait a minute. The least you could've done was tell me

he's gonna be here. I knew you wouldn't come over if I told you.

I will not stay in the same room with him.

Now he says he's gonna tell us the truth.

Well, let him tell you the truth.

Wait a minute. Come on. Come on. Come on, sit down.

[Yawns]

I tell you I won't stay in the same room with him.

He came over here of his own free will.

Oh, well, how noble. You wanna get the chip off your shoulder?

[Groans] I don't have a chip on my shoulder.

(Helen) if it's all right with you, I'd like to go home!

(Andy) well, wait a minute.

I see no reason to stay here while you entertain that... That wolf out there.

The least we can do is listen to him.

That's all we've been doing is listening to him.

It seems to me that if a man is going with a woman

and another man makes advances to that woman,

that the man involved,

man "a", the man she's going out with, would take some action.

♪ [Music playing on radio] I took some action. I fired him.

Now, even a criminal gets a trial.

Oh.

I know he did it. I know he did it.

But I also know something very strange is goin' on.

I'd like to know why he did it.

Because basically, warren is a very shy person.

[Gasping]

(aunt bee) andy!

Andy!

♪ [music playing]

thanks for bringin' me home, andy.

That's ok. You all right now? Oh, sure. Fine.

You know, if you'd told us about it

right at the beginning, warren, we'd have understood.

Well, helen, bein' a sleepwalker,

it isn't exactly the type of thing you go around boastin' about.

But you know I got a feelin' it may never happen again.

I mean, these things, well, once they're out, that's it. Thing of the past.

I suppose. You better get some sleep.

(Warren) I guess I'd better. Good night, warren.

Good night, helen.

(Andy) I'll see you in the mornin' thanks again, andy.

[Sighing]

[sighs]