06x19 - Lost and Found

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Andy Griffith Show". Aired: October 1960 to April 1968.*

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Andy Taylor who is a widowed sheriff raises his son in Mayberry, N.C.
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06x19 - Lost and Found

Post by bunniefuu »

[Whistling]

gee, aunt bee, can't I paint some?

No. I like to do it myself, opie.

But I paint good.

I got an "a" in art.

No.

Please, aunt bee. I like to paint.

Some other time, opie.

Please, aunt bee? Please?

Well, all right.

I'll let you do some of it.

Gee, thanks.

How much you gonna pay me?

Oh-ho.

All right.

I'll give you a quarter. When it dries, you can do the inside of the drawers.

(Opie) ok. Hi.

(Bee) hi, andy. Hi, pa.

(Andy) hey, that's coming along. Isn't that nice?

I'll think I'll put some decals.

Maybe rosettes right there. Hmm?

Mmm-hmm. That'll be pretty.

Oh, andy, I want to show you something.

The things you come across when you clear out a dresser.

Look. Aunt martha's pin.

Oh, that's pretty.

I'd forgotten about that.

Who's aunt martha?

Aunt martha?

Well, let's see. She'd be your great, great aunt,

if she was really an aunt, but she wasn't.

She was the best friend of my grandmother

on my mother's side. Oh.

Of course, later on, she did become family

because it was her daughter who married cousin oliver's stepson.

You got the picture now?

Yeah, I got the picture.

Well, I think it's important that he should know about his aunt martha.

Can I paint now?

No. We have to wait till the outside dries.

Isn't that a lovely pin?

You know, those are real pearls. Mmm-hmm.

That's an antique. Look at that workmanship.

Yeah. Why don't you wear it sometime?

Mmm, I think I will. Yeah.

[Phone ringing]

I'll get it.

Hello.

Oh, yes, clara.

Well, just hang on and I'll get her.

Aunt bee.

Clara edwards, all upset.

Sounds like it's some kind of crisis.

What is it, clara?

Oh, good heavens.

Well, what is it?

Oh, mercy me.

Well, what is it?

Sarah smedley has come down with the flu

and she can't handle the cookie booth at the bazaar this year.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Well, what are we going to do, clara?

Bee, I know it's an imposition to ask you to take it over,

after having run it the last years,

but our backs are to the wall.

Well, all right, I'll do it, clara.

How many cookies do you think we need this year?

Dozen?

[Laughing] well, all right.

I... I guess I better start right away.

Yeah. Bye, clara.

Opie, will you bring down the paint and the brushes?

I have to stop now.

When are you gonna finish it, aunt bee?

Well, opie, it'll be at least or days

before I can get back to it again.

Can I have my quarter in advance?

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

This firm only pays on completion of work.

Come on in, clara, and visit for a while.

And thank you for driving me home.

Well, you're the one who should be thanked, bee.

I think it was one of the most successful bazaars we've ever had.

Yes, I think it was, but I'm glad it's all over.

I can get back to my housework

and all the things I've neglected.

[Sighing]

me, too.

You know, I left my dresser half-finished?

Oh, clara, I want to show you something.

A pin I came across. Oh?

I'd forgotten I even had it.

Aunt martha gave it to me.

It's gone!

(Clara) what? It's gone.

Well, what do you mean?

That antique pin I was going to show you.

It's gone.

Oh, where did you have it last?

Right here in this room. I was showing it to andy and opie.

Well, it must be here someplace.

Things don't just fly away.

Oh, that's a very valuable pin.

What on earth could I have done with it?

Well, I'd help you look for it if I knew where.

Thank you, clara.

Could anybody have taken it?

Oh, of course not. Andy doesn't allow thieves in mayberry.

Where in the world?

(Opie) I found it! I found it!

Oh, good!

Well, where did you find it?

In the toe of my tennis shoes.

Well, how in the world did it get there?

A scout Kn*fe?

I guess it fell out of my pants.

Opie, we're looking for my pin.

Oh. Well, I've been looking and I can't find it.

Oh, opie, will you please keep on looking? Please?

Ok.

Come on in, these reports are right over here.

What are you doin', aunt bee? Spring cleaning a little early?

No, andy, a terrible thing has happened.

I can't find aunt martha's pin.

Oh, really? You had it just the other day.

Did you look in your jewelry box?

Yes, that's where it's missing from.

Uh, aunt bee, does this missing object have any value?

Yes, it's an antique. They're real pearls and gold.

Clara suggested it might've been stolen.

Well... It could have been stolen. It's missin', isn't it?

Well, yes. It is.

Well, nobody's gonna walk right into our house and steal something.

Andy, over , homes are burglarized in this country every year.

And yours could've been one of 'em.

Now, aunt bee,

how many people other than yourself

were aware that you possess this valuable antique?

Now, warren, that pin is probably right here in the house somewhere.

Andy, these are just routine questions.

I'm only trying to get the facts and I'm not rulin' out grand theft.

Now, who's been in the house lately, aunt bee?

Mmm, oh, well, clara edwards, of course. Uh-huh.

The eggman stopped by.

Mmm-hmm.

And the thompson boy, to collect for the paper.

All right, I gotcha. You... You... You can mark all those off

'cause none of them would've taken it.

Andy, everybody is a suspect

until somebody is proven guilty.

Now, if the of us just put our heads together on this... No.

No? No.

Andy, a very valuable antique pin

has been stolen from your own house. Your own aunt bee...

Warren, uh, right... Right here are the reports,

just take 'em on back to the courthouse, now.

You mean you're not gonna cooperate with me on this

and solve this felony, this crime that's been committed

right in your own house? No.

You are a very strange man.

And since the sheriff won't cooperate with me on this particular case,

I'm gonna appoint you special deputy

for purposes of investigation.

Can I put the cap on now? Yeah, sure. Go ahead.

Yeah, I've been working the case days now, goober,

and I am going to need your assistance.

Ok, what am I supposed to do?

Well, I suppose you're aware that a $ pin is missin'.

Yeah. Aunt bee's. I think she must've put it someplace that she forgot.

Oh, no. Let's look at this thing intelligently, goober.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

All right. Aunt bee, expert homemaker,

neat, orderly.

Now, this type of person does not go around misplacing things.

Am I right? Yeah.

Huh? Huh? Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Then what's another possibility?

Another possibility.

Let me think, now.

It's so logical.

(Warren) goober!

Warren, I'm thinkin'.

Someone got into the house and stole it. That's obvious.

Yeah, that's it. Then we got the case solved, ain't we?

Can I still wear the cap for a while?

Goober, the case is not solved.

Look, I want you to check out the following people

who are known to have been in that house.

Clara edwards, yeah.

George barstow, the eggman, yeah.

And the newspaper boy. Right.

Get on it. And, oh, goober,

there is no need to say anything to andy about this.

You know... Yo.

[Clicks tongue]

oh, hello, goober. Don't worry, aunt bee. I'm workin' on it,

but we're not tellin' andy.

Hello, warren. Where's andy?

Oh, he just went down to the corner, aunt bee. He'll be back in a minute.

Uh, aunt bee.

Yes?

Have you, uh...

Have you ever had a blackout or suffered from loss of memory,

somethin' like that? Certainly not!

Oh, well, yeah. I was j-just checking.

Oh, hi, andy. I'm going to check the crossing down there.

Oh.

Well, I can see by the look on your face

that you haven't found the pin.

Andy, I've searched that house for days

from attic to cellar,

and the pin is just not there.

I'm about to give up.

I've been waitin' for you to say that.

That pin's insured and I think we ought to put in a claim.

You do?

Yes. I'll call ed jenkins

and ask him to come over and we'll talk about the insurance.

Well, don't bother ed jenkins about it.

Well, why not? He's our insurance man.

Well, I don't want to take money from him.

It's not his money. The insurance company pays for it.

Oh, andy, that's not quite fair.

It's not their fault.

Aunt bee, we've been paying premiums on that policy

for I don't know how many years,

and we've never put in a claim.

I know, but it's a shame to spoil such a good record.

You don't seem to understand.

That pin is listed on the schedule

with the silver and the other things.

And it's valued at $ .

The loss comes under the heading of a mysterious disappearance.

It still might have been stolen.

Well.

[Clearing throat] sarah,

would you get me ed jenkins, please?

I'll ask him to come over tonight.

Uh, ed? Andy taylor.

I wonder if you could come over to our house tonight.

Yes, it's about our insurance.

Yeah. Well, well, fine.

We'll... We'll talk about it tonight, ed.

Right. Thanks.

Bye.

He said he'd be happy to come over.

Oh, I don't know.

I still don't like the idea of taking money from an insurance company.

[Car approaching]

andy, I think I heard a car stop outside.

[Car door closes]

I guess that's ed.

I think I better look for that pin just once more.

Will you quit acting like you just robbed a supermarket?

[Knocking on door]

I'll get it.

Hi, ed. Come in. Come in. Howdy, andy. Howdy.

Evenin', aunt bee. How are you?

[Giggling nervously] evening.

Ed, we appreciate you coming' over like this.

You see... Andy, your call was just like a miracle,

'cause it just so happens I've been thinkin' about you

and your insurance program the last couple of days.

Oh, well, that's nice of you, ed...

Andy, why don't you just sit down right there.

And aunt bee, you... You sit next to him,

so you can both see the program

well... I've worked up for you.

Now, sit down, andy. Sit down. But, aunt bee...

Now, now, since ed's gone to so much trouble

it wouldn't be polite not to listen to him.

Thank you, aunt bee.

Now, I have completely overhauled your life insurance picture

and I have reevaluated you health and accident-wise.

Now, just a second, ed.

Now, now, wait. Just a minute, andy.

Wait till I get it all laid out here where we can look at it.

But, ed... Mmm-mmm. Go on, ed.

Now.

This is plan "a."

It, uh, comes to maturity at the age of .

This plan "b" takes you to .

And this one here is plan "c."

Mmm. That looks nice.

It combines the other .

I guess that takes me to , huh?

Andy, we consider life insurance a public service

and a sacred trust.

Tell us about plan "a."

Thank you.

Now, plan "a" is the one that I would...

Now, ed, ed, just... Just... Just a second.

I appreciate all the work that you've gone to on this,

but we didn't call you over

to talk about life insurance.

But you said it was about insurance.

Well, y-yes.

You see, aunt bee lost a very valuable pin

and we'd like to put in a claim.

A claim?

Well, yeah.

We have a right to on our household policy, don't we?

Well, yeah, but...

A claim?

Well, maybe you insurance people have a different name for it.

But that's where we send money to the insurance company,

we lose somethin', we tell you about it,

then the insurance company sends us money.

[Sighing] yeah, that's a claim, all right.

[Clearing throat]

a claim, huh?

Well, if it's too much trouble...

It's not too much trouble, aunt bee.

Ed gives us a form and tells us how to fill it out

and sends it to the insurance company

and they send us a check, right, ed?

Yep. I guess I got a claim form here somewhere.

Well, it's nice to have the money. I'm not saying it isn't.

Then don't.

But I still don't feel quite right about it.

Well, spend it. Get rid of it just as fast as you can.

What you gonna buy with it, aunt bee?

Well, there's not a thing in the world I want.

There is, too.

Every time you pass by the hardware store

you just press your nose against the window

and look at the garbage disposals.

Oh, I do not.

But I did hate giving up that one I won in the hollywood contest.

Then that settles it. Get the disposal.

Really? Right.

Well, if you say so.

Well, I better get back. I'll see you. Bye, pa.

Now can I paint the inside of the drawers, aunt bee?

Oh, I don't know, opie.

Oh, please, aunt bee?

Mmm, well... Oh, all right. Go on.

If I do a good job on the drawers

can I paint the wastebasket in my room?

Hmm? Oh, yes. Yeah. Well, we'll see.

Opie, I'm too excited to paint today.

I've got to go down and see about that garbage disposal. Oh, aunt bee.

Oh, why don't you come along and help me pick it out?

I'll buy you an ice cream soda.

Ok. You sure are excited

about gettin' that new disposal.

Well, I guess I am.

And just think, I wouldn't be getting one

if something hadn't happened to that pin.

Now, you, uh, you checked 'em all out, huh, goober?

That's right. Clara edwards, the newspaper boy and the eggman.

You checked them out to see if any of 'em went outta town mysteriously

or, uh, suddenly seemed to come into money, things like that?

No, I didn't do it that way.

What way did you do it, goober?

Well, I just went up to 'em and asked 'em if they stole aunt bee's pin.

They all said no.

Goober!

Clara edwards slapped me in the face.

Well, you deserved it.

Anyway, with my own investigation

I've kind of ruled out them .

Yeah, I'm sure none of them did it.

Well, I'm working on another theory now.

You are? Uh-huh.

I'll investigate it for you, warren. Yeah.

You see, goober, somebody entered that house

unbeknownst to the occupants.

Who? Well, it's, uh...

Let's say, mr. X.

I don't know him.

Goober. Look, we've got some snoopin' around to do.

Yo. Let's move out.

Ok.

I can't tell you how pleased I am with that disposal.

Well, at least it won't disappear like the pin did, huh?

[Toaster pops]

there's your toast, opie.

Oh, boy!

Opie, what are you doing?

What are you puttin' your toast down there for?

If I put plain bread down it, it doesn't make any noise.


Opie, that's very wasteful.

Don't be wastin' food like that.

I'm sorry, pa.

Well, I guess I better get down to the courthouse

before sherlock holmes starts lookin' for me.

Well, have a nice day. Ok.

Bye, pa. Bye.

[Sighing]

say, aunt bee when are we gonna do that paintin'?

I want to get my quarter.

All right. We'll do it now.

Is that soon enough?

I'll get the paint and the brushes.

You about ready? Mmm-hmm.

Almost.

There we go. Ouch!

What happened, aunt bee?

Mmm.

What is it?

Nothing, opie.

Nothing at all.

Bee, that's just terrible.

What in heaven's name am I going to do?

I've already spent the money on the disposal.

I've already used it. I can't return it.

Have you told andy?

Oh, how could I tell him that I forgot and left it in my smock?

He'll think I'm losing my memory.

Well, you are a little, bee.

Well, I was right at first.

I never did like the idea

of taking money from an insurance company.

I know.

Oh, clara,

you've always been so helpful about things like this.

Why, thank you, bee.

What do you suggest I do?

I don't know.

Oh.

Do you think I did anything against the law?

Bee, I'm not a lawyer.

I'm just a friend.

I finished paintin' the inside of the drawers, aunt bee.

Fine, opie.

What do you want me to do now?

Oh, paint some more.

But all that's left is the outside

and you didn't want me to paint that.

Well, paint the outside, opie.

(Opie) what part? Oh, opie, paint!

Will you just please paint?

Wow!

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Oh, you home for dinner?

Well, yeah. I've been gettin' my dinner here every night for a good many years.

I thought I'd try it one more time.

[Laughing]

you know, you're a creature of habit.

Why don't you put 'em down the disposal?

No, no, andy! Leave them where they are.

You'll wear out the disposal.

Well, it's got a -year guarantee.

I know, but t-time passes quicker than you think.

Will you go inside and sit down?

I'll bring supper in in just a moment.

Well...

Ope!

(Opie) comin', pa.

Paint? Yeah.

Hmm.

[Sighs]

well, I have no objection to trying something new.

Well, what's the matter now?

Aren't we kind of startin' with the dessert end?

Oh.

Somethin' happened to upset your aunt bee today?

Somethin' must've, pa,

'cause she let me do all the paintin' myself.

There's more mashed potatoes

if anybody wants them.

Don't we get any meat or plates or anything?

All right, aunt bee, what happened today?

[Sobbing] oh, andy, I just feel terrible.

I just don't know how to tell you.

Well, could you try?

[Clattering]

[inhales]

oh, you found aunt martha's pin.

Isn't it terrible?

But you've been lookin' all over for... Oh, the insurance.

[Whimpers]

where'd you find it?

It was in the pocket of my painting smock

the whole time.

[Weeping]

[knocking on door]

[exclaiming] I'll get it.

It's warren, pa.

He's got a prisoner.

Well, here he is, andy.

Here who is?

Andy, with me a case is open until it's closed.

This is the man that stole aunt bee's pin.

No, he isn't.

He is so.

Sure, he is, andy. He gave me a confession, right?

That's right.

I confess.

I did it.

I put a ladder up against the side of the house,

I snuck in and i... I took the pin.

Yeah, and wait till you hear what this criminal did with the pin.

Go on, tell him.

After I felt the hot breath of the law breathin' down my neck,

I knew I couldn't get away with it.

So I took the pin and I threw it in the river.

Oh, my!

Say, sheriff, I understand you run a pretty nice jail here.

That's right, and you're gonna be spendin' a lot of time there, too, fella.

Well, it's about suppertime, ain't it, sheriff?

How about booking your prisoner and feeding him?

When we're good and ready, buster.

I was the one that put the handcuffs on him, andy.

You see, what I did, andy, i, uh,

started nosing around down by the hobo jungle there

and my informants down there told me... Warren.

Goober, if you don't mind, I'll tell the story.

My informants told me the prisoner here was... Warren.

Was...

(Andy) it was in aunt bee's paintin' smock the whole time.

That's a lie.

You want to release your prisoner?

Now, wait a minute. I'm entitled to a free meal.

Get him out of here.

Right, andy.

What'd you do, lose the key to the handcuffs?

Well, I guess i...

I guess I left it down at the courthouse.

Well, if you change your mind about puttin' me in jail,

I'll be down in the jungle.

Oh, dear.

Where are we going to get the money

to pay back the insurance company?

Oh, if only that pin had stayed lost or stolen

or something.

Well...

I guess I'd better call ed jenkins.

Aunt bee, I'm... I'm sorry.

(Goober) I didn't wanna arrest him, aunt bee. It was warren.

Sarah, would you get me ed jenkins, please?

Thank you.

It's a mess, ain't it, pa?

Hmm.

Just plain lost.

That was my idea right from the beginnin'

but you wouldn't listen to me.

How was I supposed to know this vagrant was gonna lie, huh?

Uh, ed, ed, what I called about,

you know that insurance claim we made on aunt bee's pin?

Yeah, yeah, we got the check fine, thank you.

No. No, no, ed.

I'm still not interested in any more life insurance.

I'll tell you one thing, goober.

A lot of your criminals would give anything

to get their hands on somethin' as valuable as this.

No, ed, not even plan "a."

Warren, I can see it if I want to.

If you don't mind, I'll handle it, ok?

Warren, let me see. Goober, now, stop. Goober...

Oh, no!

Oh!

[Garbage disposal rattling]

now, what I called you about... (Warren) andy!

Uh, just a second, ed.

What's the matter?

Andy! The pin! It fell down the disposal!

I told goober not to... Warren!

You mean the pin's gone?

It's ground up!

Well...

Our insurance covers any kind of loss.

(Bee) oh, dear.

Oh, my.

Oh, my.

Uh, ed?

No, no, nothing serious.

Well, what I called you about, ed, was to thank you

for the fine, understanding, speedy way

that you handled that claim.

And... And the disposal that aunt bee got with the check

has certainly been a blessing.

Right.

Good night.

Yeah, I explained the whole thing to ed jenkins

and he said a loss was a loss.

Oh, uh, that's good.

Yeah.

Only thing is, what was a mysterious disappearance

just isn't mysterious anymore.

But I mean, the claim is still good.

Yeah, the policy covers it. Huh.

Uh, andy, um...

You didn't happen to tell him how the pin fell in the disposal, did you?

Oh, no, I didn't see any point in gettin' into personalities.

You sure... Well, you did the right thing.

I'm glad you agree.

Yeah, i, uh, wouldn't wanna see goober get in any trouble.

I knew you'd see it that way.
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