06x21 - Aunt Bee Learns to Drive

[bunniefuu]

[Whistling]

uh, aunt bee.

Oh, andy... Uh, listen I'm goin'

andy, I wonder, would you drop me off at clara's on your way?

Well, gee, I have to go in a whole other direction,

I'm going to mt. Pilot for a meetin'. Oh?

And I'm late as it is.

It was just that I promised to pin up a hem for her.

Well, was the hem very important?

Well, it's a print she wants to wear to church on sunday

and since she's lost weight it's inches below her knees.

Oh, well, it's... I'm just in such a hurry.

All right, go on, I'll work it out somehow. You're sure?

Oh, yes, if worst comes to worst,

she can always wear her -piece knit

that was too short for her before she lost weight.

Oh, well, there's no real problem then?

No, I guess not. Run along, run along.

Well, I can take you tomorrow.

No, no, don't give it a thought, I'll work it out somehow.

Go along, go on. Well... I'll work it out.

I always do.

Hey, aunt bee.

Oh, hello, goober.

[Exclaiming]

she's a beauty, ain't she?

Yes.

Is it yours?

Yeah. I bought it and fixed it up to sell.

Oh.

Anybody you know lookin' for a car?

Well, possibly.

This one's a crackerjack.

Well, it looks like a fine car. Yeah.

If anybody you know is lookin' for a car,

this would be the very one for 'em.

Well, i... Well, I do know a woman

who has to depend on her nephew

to take her everywhere.

It'd be awfully nice if she had a car of her own.

Well, you could tell her this would flat do the job for her

and it's in topnotch condition.

Oh. Well, are the seats soft?

Real soft.

This car used to belong to jed koontz.

He weighed over pounds

and one thing for sure, them seats are broke in.

Well, um, does it have a nice motor?

Purrs like a kitten.

(Whispering) wait. Come on.

[Exclaiming]

I put in new spark plugs, new rings and new distributor points.

Oh? How about the crankcases?

Well, there's just one crankcase.

Just one?

Well...

I suppose this "woman" would want to know

how many miles it's been driven.

Oh, no. What the previous owner did is none of her business.

You think she'd be interested in buyin' it, then?

She just might.

It's just $ .

Oh?

Aunt bee, if you want to buy a car

I'd be glad to sell it to you.

[Laughing] oh, goober.

Well, goob, it's just that every time I want to go anywhere,

I have to ask andy.

It'd be so much nicer if I had my own car.

Well, what does andy think about you having a car?

Oh, well, I haven't mentioned it to him yet.

Aunt bee? Hmm?

Why don't I bring it over after supper and we'll show it to him?

That's a good idea.

But goober,

I think I'd better break the news to him first before you get there.

Ok.

Ok?

[Car horn honking]

[giggling] just checking.

Aunt bee, that's so exciting.

Mmm, isn't it?

Oh, I just hope andy understands.

Oh, I don't see any reason why he shouldn't.

Just come right out and tell him.

Really? Mmm-hmm.

[Chuckling]

all right, here goes.

There we are. My goodness.

Pork chops!

Well, that's the nd time this week. What did we do to deserve this?

Well, I know how fond you are of them.

Well, I guess, I'll just start and have one here.

[Exclaiming] here, pa.

Here we go. Here's some mashed potatoes.

My! Look at that.

(Andy) well, I guess, everybody just dig right in.

[Exclaiming]

(opie) boy.

Andy? Hmm?

I have something to tell you. Hmm.

Remember when I bothered you about dropping me off at clara's?

No bother. It was just one of those things.

Oh, no. I was being a pest.

You know, I'm forever asking him to take me places.

It's not fair to annoy him like that.

Oh, I agree.

That can be very annoying.

She isn't annoying me. Oh, yes I am.

I know perfectly well, I'm a burden.

No, you're not a burden.

She is too a burden.

I mean, if aunt bee says she's a burden,

she ought to know what she's talkin' about.

I do, and it's time I stopped being so dependent on you

and became much more self-sufficient.

And that's why I've decided...

[Knocking on door]

he's early.

Who's early?

I don't know.

No, no, andy, sit, sit. I'll get it. No. I'll get it.

Hey, andy.

Hey, goober.

Well, how'd you like the big surprise?

What surprise was that?

You know, I think aunt bee's going to be a fine driver

and I know she's really gonna like the car.

What car?

Well, there she is.

[Birds chirping]

what are you talking about?

That's the car I've been fixin' up.

What's going on?

Well, andy, that's what I've been trying to tell you.

I want to buy a car.

You want to buy a car? So I won't bother you.

I think it's a wonderful idea.

You can't drive a car.

Why not? I can afford one

and I can learn to drive like everybody else. No, no.

No, no, no.

Andy... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Now, I'll take you anywhere you want to go,

take you uptown, to church,

over to clara's to hem up her dress, anywhere,

but let's forget about the car part of it.

Goober, thank you for bringing it over, but no thank you

and you can run along home, now.

Well, I'll be going. Goober, don't move.

Well if you want... Go on home, goober.

Well, ok... Goober, stay right there.

Yes, ma'am.

Andy, be sensible. There's no reason in the world

why aunt bee can't learn to drive as well as anybody.

Aunt bee is not the type of woman to drive a car. Why not?

Well, driving takes a lot of concentration.

And I happen to have a lot of concentration.

Look, aunt bee, if you'd learned to drive years ago, well, maybe so,

but to learn to drive at this age... Andy!

Gee, pa, I think you ought to let aunt bee learn how to drive.

You got homework?

I just started supper.

I don't see why you're objecting, andy.

Because!

Andy, I could teach her how to drive. You wanna stay out of this?

Andy, you're being unreasonable. I want that car.

No!

[All clamoring]

aunt bee's always having good ideas but this is the best.

Looks like I don't have a whole lot to say about this.

I want you to know I am altogether against it.

But if you're bound to get it,

I guess you'll get it anyway, so go ahead.

Oh, congratulations!

[Cheering]

hey, you're really gonna like that car, aunt bee.

It runs smooth as silk.

Well, I guess I'd better be going.

Oh, no, no, goober! You stay and join us for supper.

And we'll have us all a celebration?

Well, I've already had my supper,

but as long as I'm here, well, ok.

How you doing, floyd?

Oh, hello, andy. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down.

Just reading an interesting article, here.

Yeah? What about?

[Muttering] it was about, uh, where was that again?

I read so much, you know.

Yeah. Mmm-hmm.

Only way to keep informed. Mmm-hmm.

It was about, uh...

Uh, uh... Where was... Wait a minute.

It's not very important anyway.

Anything wrong, andy?

Oh, not really, floyd.

It's just that aunt bee

has decided she's going to take up driving a car.

She has? Oh, that's wonderful.

Aunt bee driving, oh, just imagine.

Well, I'm not too happy about it.

You gonna teach her how to drive?

No, no, no. Can't teach a relative how to drive.

Goober's gonna teach her.

Oh, goober's gonna teach... Oh, he's such a nice boy.

Say, here's that interesting article I was telling you about.

I'll read it to you.

Uh, "did you know the dingo dog

is indigenous to australia?"

No.

What's a dingo dog?

I don't know, but it's indigenous to australia.

I'll see you, floyd. Mmm.

(Andy) now, remember, aunt bee,

this learner's permit you got only allows you to drive

if there's a licensed driver in the car with you.

Yes, yes, I understand. So never drive the car when you're by yourself.

No, no, I won't.

Can I go with you, aunt bee? No, no, no, no, no.

I don't want to lose everybody.

Oh, andy!

I'll just sit in the back. No, no.

You might make her nervous.

Ok.

Well, have a good time

and don't drive too fast.

And, well, come on, ope, let's take a walk.

I got to go to the office.

Here we go.

Now, aunt bee, the first thing you do

is put the key in the starter.

Yes.

Here she is.

That's good.

Now, let me tell you what you have to think about.

That pedal down there, that's the gas and that makes the car go.

And that one next to it, that's the brake and that makes it stop.

Now, that over there, that's the clutch,

and you mash that down with your left foot

when you want to change gears.

Now, this is the gearshift.

Ok? Now, this is low, and that's what you start in.

Then you go over and up, and that's nd

and when you get to going a little fast,

you come straight down, and that's high

and that's what you drive in.

Oh, that's what I drive in, hmm?

Yeah. And if you want to back up, you put it in reverse.

Yes. I would do that, wouldn't i?

Well, now. Shall we drive?

Ok.

All right, now, mash in the clutch.

All right, now turn on the starter.

[Car engine starts]

[exclaiming] she's running.

Yeah. You're a good teacher, goober.

Well, thanks.

Now, put it in low.

All right, now, give it some gas.

[Car revving loudly]

now take your foot off the clutch!

[Brakes screeching]

[tires squealing]

am I close enough to the curb?

Well, not quite, aunt bee. Oh.

Oh, but no, just leave it here and I'll take over now.

Oh? Well, how'd I do for my first lesson?

Uh, uh, good, aunt bee, that's good.

But, uh, you still need a little more practice

to smooth out the rough edges.

Well, when is my next lesson?

Well... Tomorrow?

Uh, tomorrow. That'll be fine.

Oh, good. At the same time. Yeah.

Oh, good. Then, I'll see you then, goober.

Ok. Yeah. Give me my bag.

Thank you very much, goober.

Goodbye!

Bye.

Bye. Thank you.

Howdy, andy, did you wanna see me?

Yeah.

How's aunt bee doin'?

Well, she don't jump as bad as she used to.

Is she learnin'?

Yeah. She can park and back up,

and on her u-turns she don't go over lawns anymore.

All in all, I'd say she's doin' fine.

You mean, she actually concentrates?

Yeah. Huh.

Well, be sure and teach her all the rules, goober.

If she's gonna take that driver's test the day after tomorrow,

it's very important, don't let her break any rules.

Andy, don't worry about aunt bee, she's in good hands.

[Clicks tongue]

morning, miss taylor.

Morning, lowell. Doing some tree-cutting today?

Yep. It's that time of year again.

I wonder if you wouldn't mind moving your car.

I wouldn't want any branches falling on it.

All right. You move it. The keys are in there.

Sorry. We're not allowed to touch anybody's car,

you know, in case something might happen...

Well, I understand but you see, I only have a learner's permit...

I just want you to move it ahead about feet or so, and I'll get the equipment.

[Crashing]

oh, my heavens.

What did i... W-what happened?

I don't know. I thought I was going forward

and I went backwards and I didn't have my foot on the clutch.

Oh, oh, my heavens, what have I done?

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, aunt bee.

Oh, please. Please don't tell andy.

Well, it could have been worse.

Oh, no. No, it couldn't have been worse.

I'm not a licensed driver.

[Sobbing]

well, accidents will happen even to the very best of drivers.

No, no. I shouldn't have been driving the car

without a licensed driver right next to me.

[Exclaiming] what will andy say?

Well, maybe, he doesn't have to know.

Couldn't you just have the dent fixed?

Oh, well, that would take days.

Goober would find out and andy'd want to know where the car was

and he'd die, and goober'd die,

and only andy would die much worse.

Oh. Oh, now, aunt bee.

Oh, he'll never let me get that license now.

Well, now, andy's not that unreasonable.

You should just go over there and tell him the truth.

The truth?

Oh, I think we'll have to come up

with something better than that.

But I'm afraid it's the only way.

Really?

Well, I hope he's in good humor.

Hello, andy.

(Andy) oh, hi, aunt bee.

I brought you lunch.

[Exclaiming] picnic basket, huh?

[Clearing throat] well... There you are.

Hmm, thank you.

There's an extra napkin.

Well... And, uh, pork chops.

Pork chops again for lunch?

Well, I know how much you like them. Wow.

And beans, mmm.

And chocolate pudding.

Chocolate pudding?

And here's some fresh fruit.

You've got all my favorites.

This is really something. Now, you just enjoy it.

Well, I sure will.

I'll bring the basket home.

Oh, no, no. Don't bother.

I'll wait.

Well, well, ok.

Mmm-mmm.

[Exclaiming]

good? Mmm.

Oh, andy, I just remembered something.

Hmm?

Well, it's not important.

It's hardly worth mentioning.

It's trivial, you know? Yeah. What is it?

It's about the car.

Goober's been giving me some great reports on your driving.

He says you're doing fine.

Well, goober's a very good teacher.

Yeah. I hope you didn't think I was too hard on you

when you first started, but I was worried about you.

And I didn't want you to get in any kind of trouble.

Well, that's very sweet of you.

Well, now you know.

Driving is very difficult and requires a great deal of thought.

Aunt bee, i... I can't tell you how many men and women

come in this office every week and pay a great, big fine

because they bumped into somebody's car or something,

just because for that instant

they didn't concentrate.

How awful.

Well, I'm glad you're doing fine.

Thank you.

Something you want to tell me?

Hmm?

Oh.

Well, there's... There's a sale of black socks s-somewhere

if you need any.

But, aunt bee, a tent on the back of the car?

Aren't people gonna ask questions?

Well, I have to do something

until I can think of what to do next.

Well, I just don't see how long you can wait.

(Opie) aunt bee?

[Laughing nervously] oh. Oh, opie.

What you doing with my tent, aunt bee?

Well, I'm, uh, just borrowing it for a little.

I don't want the sap from the tree to get on the car.

Well, I'm going to need it this saturday

'cause I'm goin' camping with some of the fellas.

Well, we'll worry about that on saturday.

But this is my scout troop.

Oh, opie, if you were really a good scout

you'd sleep out under the stars.

But, aunt bee...

Opie, please, will you go somewhere?

Yes, ma'am.

[Sighing]

(andy) sonny.

Sonny.

Don't be riding your bike in the middle of the street like that.

You might get run over.

Get over there, close to the curb.

Run along.

Get on over.

Farther over by the curb.

All right.

What happened, pa?

I heard a bang. Mmm.

Nothing much.

I just bumped into the back of aunt bee's car a little bit.

Doesn't look like there's any damage, though. That's good.

What's your...

What's your tent doing here?

Aunt bee is using it to keep the sap from falling on it.

Oh.

Well, it ought to be more over the trunk like that.

Good gracious.

How'd that happen, pa?

Well, I don't know, but it must have been me.

(Andy) I didn't think I hit it that hard

but I guess I pushed it against the tree.

Gee. Here, take your...

Take your tent and put it somewhere. Ok, pa.

Oh, andy. Oh...

Gee, I don't know what to say, aunt bee.

I know just what you're thinking

so I might just as well tell you exactly...

Gee, i... I... I didn't think I hit it hard enough

to... To dent your fender, but I guess I did.

Dent the fender?

Yeah.

I was hollering at a boy on a bicycle

and... And the car started to move forward

and the next thing I knew, I'd run into your car.

I'm awful sorry.

You ran into it?

Yeah.

Well, now, don't you fret.

Why, that's just one of those things that could happen to anybody.

I'm not anybody. I'm a sheriff.

I'm supposed to prevent accidents, not cause 'em.

Well, now, don't be harsh with yourself.

I'll just have it repaired, I'll pay for it

and we'll forget all about it.

No, no, I'll... I'll pay for it. I did it.

No, no, andy. I insist.

After all, i...

I got the car from goober.

No, no, I'll pay for it. I can do that, hmm.

It's a first for me, you know that?

It is?

Yeah.

I never had an accident before.

You haven't?

No. I never even put a scratch on a car.

Well, that's the way it goes, I guess, yeah.

[Andy mumbling]

andy? Mmm-hmm?

You didn't put the dent in the car.

I must have.

No, the dent was in the car before you hit it.

And I put it there.

What?

The man came to cut the trees

and he asked me to move the car.

I know, I know. I shouldn't have done it

without a licensed driver beside me,

but it was just a few feet and I didn't think there would be any harm

and somehow, instead of going up and down and over

I went down, up, over... And the clutch...

Oh, I don't know, and anyway, I did come to the office

to tell you about it.

But I just couldn't.

Oh, aunt bee,

you shouldn't have driven that car like that.

I know, but I just hit a tree.

Anybody can have a little accident like that.

I know.

Oh, andy, you are going to let me take that license test, aren't you?

Well, yes, yes.

I guess if I can run into a bumper,

you can run into one tree.

Andy! Andy! I passed!

I passed.

You didn't! I did.

She sure did and the license examiner said

she done real good, too.

And he told me whoever taught me did a wonderful job.

[Exclaiming]

now, can I buy the car from goober?

Well, yeah, I guess you can.

Oh, I feel so much better.

Now, the dent's really mine.

Well, now, don't get any more dents, then.

No. Take real good care of the car.

I will. Check your oil and water all the time.

Keep about pounds of air in the tires.

Yes, yes. All right. Goober,

I think I'll bring the car in in the morning.

I think we're having trouble with our intermediate gear.

And I think we'll change the oil

and give it a good lubrication.

I'll see you at home, andy. Goodbye, goober.

[Door closing]

come on, opie, get in the back with floyd.

Goober, you get in the back,

andy, helen, come on in here in the front. Get in.

It'll be a tight squeeze but we can manage.

Now, attention everybody.

Get your seat belts ready. Yeah.

Uh, uh, aunt bee, yeah?

Uh, may this be the start of many hours of smooth riding.

May you glide over the highways like a swan

skimming across a lake.

[All exclaiming]

thank you floyd. Thank you.

Now, off we go.