03x11 - Gabby's Gold

[bunniefuu]

Announcer: And here they come.

Give it up for your gymnastics
team, the Seaford k*ller Whales!

[Cheering]

Woo! Looking good, Kim.

All right.

I really want to thank you, Jack.

You've been the rock that's gotten me
through my terrible breakup with Julie.

You were going out with Julie?

Yes. Why do you think I've been
sitting in the locker room crying?

I don't know. I thought you
had some jock strap issue.

Listen, I'm sure Julie's going
through the same tough time you are.

You're right.

I'll bet she's at home crying her...

Holy Christmas nuts!

She's over there kissing Tommy Didier!

There is something called
a grieving period, you know!

Hey, come on. Try and
take your mind off of it.

Look, Kim's up.

[Dance music playing]

Wow, she is good.

[Cheering]

Yeah!

This is great. Half their
team has food poisoning.

Tori, all you have to do is
complete one vault, and we win!

[Lisping] I got this. Next time you see
me, we'll be at Steven Sullivan's house

sipping celebration smoothies.

It's gonna be sick.

Tori, will you stop
talking about smoothies?

Okay, just get out
there and [Lisps] focus!

I mean, focus.

[Grunts]

[Shouts]

What...?

You know, Kim, if you quit now,

you won't have to go up against my
undefeated Swathmore team this Saturday.

[English accent] We're not afraid
of your Swathmore team, Claire.

Our Coach has taught us
that we are not quitters.

We are winners!

All right, losers, I quit.

[Rock music playing]

- ♪ Don't...
- ♪Don't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪Won't...
- ♪Won't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!

- ♪That's just how we do.
- ♪Come on!

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kicking it with you.

♪Here we go, let's start the party!

♪Chop it up like it's karate.

♪Everybody!

- ♪Don't...
- ♪ Don't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪ Won't...
- ♪Won't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!

- ♪That's just how we do.
- ♪Come on!

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kicking it with you.

[Music]

I don't believe it, Rudy. Are you
still hiding from your landlord?

Yes I am.

Unless rat face gives that rent
increase in writing, it's not official.

A guy just delivered that.

Oh, sweet.

Oh!

He got me.

This notice is to inform you that your
monthly rent has been increased by $ .

Seaford Mall management.

Wait, he actually put
the letter in there?

No. The sneak wrote it in anchovies.

Hey, Kim. Any luck finding a new Coach?

Not a bit. I begged
every adult that I know.

I got five polite
nos, three blank looks,

and Officer Joan laughed
so hard she ripped one.

Well, I got you something.

I hope it makes you feel better.

What... a ticket for
the U.S. Gymnastics Tour?

It's for tomorrow at
the Seaford Civic Center.

Thanks, Jack. But I'm holding
gymnastics tryouts tomorrow.

If I don't find a new team, then we forfeit
to Swathmore, and that will not happen.

I'll take the ticket.

I don't have much of a life right
now since Julie and I broke up.

You were going out with Julie?

I called you when we broke up.

I cried for three hours.

Don't you remember?

To be honest, I put the phone in the
sock drawer and went to the movies.

Gah!

Hey, Joan. We haven't seen
you in a while. Where you been?

Jail.

Got a little side job at the
Seaford Correctional Facility

teaching the inmates
about proper hygiene.

I use this puppet to remind
them about staying clean.

Well, that's so nice
that you volunteer, Joan.

Yeah, it is. And they pay
this volunteer bucks.

bucks?

That's exactly what I
need to cover my rent.

They're always looking for new programs.

Hey, Joan. Let's go out to the
food court and hit on the hot guys.

Man. This puppet's the
best wing man I ever had.

♪ Kickin' it with you!

So, um...

Our Coach isn't coming back.

But the good news is I have decided
to step up and fill that role.

Yeah. Good!

We just weeded out the wannabes.

Okay, look, I know
there is not much time,

but if we are willing to work
hard, I'm sure that there is...

Okay. Look, we do not need them, okay?

You may not be the classic gymnastics type,
but I bet inside of you there is a Champ...

You're just here for
the Panini's, aren't you?

Got any ranch dressing?

Give me those.

Hey, prison peeps!

I got a rap about hygiene
if you'd like to hear it.

I love a good hygiene rap.

Well then, hit it, Joan.

[Rap b*at playing]

♪ Being a friend is just being nice.

♪ Tell your cellmate if he's got lice.

♪ Go hygiene, go hygiene!

All: ♪ Go hygiene, go hygiene.

Man. That puppet all right.

Uh-oh.

Every performer knows you
can't follow a rapping puppet.

These guys are real inmates.
What if they hate us?

Rudy, relax.

Just don't show them fear
and they'll respect you.

That's good. That's good.

[Whimpers]

Rudy, where are you going?

Joan: And now...

Let's give my friends
Jack and Rudy a nice...

Warm prison welcome, huh?

Thank you. Thank you.

Hey, guys uh, I'm Jack...

And the program that we...

Or I guess I will be showing you today
will teach you meditative techniques.

Welcome to Zen in the Pen.

You got a puppet, boy?

We don't need no puppet.

We gonna relax old school.

I said relax, homes.

Hey. Chill out.

Don't you tell me to chill out,
Carl. I am from the streets!

What street you from?

Apple Berry Lane, yo!

Okay, class is over.

- Everyone back to their cells.
- Get.

Wait wait! No. I'm nothing
like these monsters.

I'm from Apple Berry Lane!

Apple Berry Lane!

Kim, you are not gonna believe what
happened at the gymnastics tour today.

I told a girl about your situation,

and she agreed to Coach your
team for the Swathmore Meet.

Um...

Thanks, Milton, but do you really
think I want to be coached by some

pimply-faced, wannabe gymnast
you met in the nosebleed section?

No.

But about olympic gold
medalist Gabby Douglas?

Get out.

I'm serious. I talked to her.

She has a couple days off from the
tour and she agreed to help you.

Get out!

Oh, Gabby!

Hi. You must be Kim.

I'm Gabby.

Get out!

Okay.

No no no. Come back,
come back, come back!

[Music]

I can't believe the Gabby
Douglas is standing in our dojo!

[Giggles]

Kim, relax. You're freaking
out in front of my girlfriend.

You're right, I'm sorry. It's
just... your who what now?

That's right. Gabby's
my girlfriend, Kim.

It happened this afternoon.

After my dismount, I looked up
into the crowd and saw Milton.

I just couldn't resist
my little ginger cookie.

Oh.

The first time our eyes met...

Yeah yeah. Great story.

So you're really gonna Coach our team?

Yeah. When I was in school our Coach
walked out, so I know what it's like.

Oh, hey guys.

Oh! Jack, Rudy. Meet Gabby Douglas.

I watched you during the Olympics.
It's such an honor to meet you.

Thank you.

Uh, I don't know what kind of
game you're playing here, missy.

- But you are not the real Gabby Douglas.
- Yeah, I am.

- Rudy, it's her.
- Yeah, Rudy it's her.

Okay, fine. I'll prove it's not her.

You people are so gullible.

[Squeals]

You're never gonna believe this.
Gabby Douglas is in our dojo!

Would you sign this?

Just write "to my fellow champion,
much like the olympic flame"...

- I'll just sign it Gabby.
- Simple, powerful. Totally the way to go.

♪ Kickin' it with you!

That was really good, Donna.

Just don't forget to kick out a
little earlier so you can stick it.

Stick it. Okay, you
heard her. Stick it, girl!

You want to lose to Swathmore
because you didn't stick it?!

Kim. Relax.

We're in pretty good shape. And
we have somebody for every event.

Not the rings. Ring
ring, who's there? Nobody!

Hide me. Lenore's after me.
She caught me comforting Carol.

Oh my.

Where'd he go? He just disappeared.

[Jerry sighs]

That was close, yo.

I've had to hide from
a lot of women, Kim.

Ring ring. Who's there? Jerry.

The newest member of our team.

[Soothing music plays]

Use your bodies to
release negative energy.

And attain a total state of freedom.

All right, back to your cages!

Whoa whoa whoa.

We still got minutes.

What's minutes when
you're doing life, am I right?

Sorry, we're going down
to the Seaford Civic Center

to support the gymnastics team.

Yeah, they're being coached by my very
dear dear dear friend Gabby Douglas.

Gabby Douglas? Two-time
olympic gold medalist?

And my dear friend.

She's gonna bring her medals to the meet.
I'm gonna get a picture of me wearing them.

Oh man. You gonna use that picture to make
everybody think you won that gold medal.

That's low.

Hey, show a little respect.

You're talking to a man who's won...

Two Oscars, a Nobel peace
prize, and The Heisman.

All right. Time's up.
Everyone out of here.

- Hey, Milton.
- Hey, Joan.

Ha ha!

[Sighs]

Julie's over there with Tommy.

Probably make her nuts to know
you're going out with Gabby, huh?

See these gold medals?

They belong to my
girlfriend, Gabby Douglas.

Oh, you heard me, Julie.

Gabby's my girlfriend! [Chuckles]

Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Gabby Douglas.

[Cheering]

My girlfriend!

[Inspiring music playing]

[Cheering]

- Kim.
- Claire.

Wow, I can't believe it.

You showed up. Oh, that is so brave.

To lose in front of all these people.

[Chuckles]

We're not gonna lose.

Because Gabby Douglas is our new Coach.

Claire: What?!

- Are you serious?
- Oh, that's right.

Today's the day we wipe that stupid
Swathmore smile off your snooty face.

Get ready for it.

[Imitating match lighting]

[Hissing]

What are you doing?

Boom!

That's right. Boom goes the dynamite!

- Boom!
- She boomed me.

She boomed me. I mean, who does that?

That's right, girl. You're
in the Whale house now.

You hear me? The whale...!

What is wrong with you?

We have to win. You think we're
gonna win? I think we're gonna win.

What if we don't win? We have to win!

Hold up there, Hoppy Hopperson.

Couldn't help but notice your
bu-dump-ah-dump-a-dump-eow.

And then you threw in a
whippity-whippity-whippity-whippity-oop.

And you followed it up
with a flipper-doodle.

I'm sorry. Who are you?

Oh, the name's Joan.

Of course, in my gymnastics days they
used to call me the Flying Beaver.

Check it.

- [Whooshing]
- [Crowd groans]

Do you need help?

Ah, no.

That's why they call me the Beaver.

♪ Kickin' it with you!

Dude, this is awesome.
We made bucks.

Yeah. And they say crime doesn't pay.

[Dialing number]

Hey, Tony, it's Carl.

Carl from jail.

The guy on the top bunk.

Listen, I'm out.

Get the boys together and meet
me at Seaford Civic Center.

We're about to bring home the gold.

[Spanish guitar playing]

[Applause]

[Cheering]

Yes! In your face, Claire.

When they announce the winner
and everyone's cheering,

we'll replace the real Security guards, and
we'll walk right out with Gabby's medals.

[Cheering]

Way to go, Tiffany.

You see that, Kim?
Tiff just scored a . .

Which means you need a perfect
routine if you're going to b*at us.

[Laughs]

[Mocking laughter]

Perfect. All I have to do is be perfect.

If I'm perfect, we win. If
I'm not perfect, we lose.

- Perfect, just perfect!
- Kim!

Calm down.

It's not the end of the
world if you don't win.

Easy for you to say.
You won gold medals.

I'm proud of my gold medals,

but I also have something
else that's just as important.

A Happy Town Arcade token?

Yeah.

When my grandfather would
pick me up from practice,

he would take me to the Happy
Town Arcade to play games.

- Well, how did that help your gymnastics?
- It didn't, but...

He wanted to teach me that
there had to be a balance between

hard work and having fun.

You know what, Gabby? You're right.

I'm just gonna go out
there and have fun.

Yeah. You know what I love
to do before I compete?

- What?
- I put on some music.

Kind of shake things out
a bit. You know? Get loose.

Okay.

[Dance music playing]

Okay. I think you're loose enough.

[Dance music playing]

[Cheering]

Crowd: Ooh!

[Cheering]

Rudy, Rudy. Rudy, Rudy.
Check it out, it's Carl!

Rudy: Oh, would you look at that?

He got out of jail, landed
a job as a Security guard,

and now he's helping
Gabby move her medals.

I knew I made a difference in his life.

Rudy, he's stealing them.

Oh. That makes so much more sense.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Whoa
whoa. Put the medals down, Carl.

[Shouts]

[Grunting]

The medals!

- That was fast.
- Not bad.

- That was pretty fast too.
- That was pretty good.

[Grunting]

- Ooh!
- Pretty good, dude.

All right.

You guys got the medals back.

A black belt Sensei should
probably guard these.

[Camera clicks]

Wow, Kim. That was awesome.

Hey, judges. What do
you give that take down?

Now that was fun.

I've been to thousands of gymnastics
meets, but I'll never forget this one.

And I'll never forget you, Gabby.

Claire: Hey, Gabby. What to take
a pic with the real winning team?

Definitely.

[Scoffs]

Squeeze in, guys. Let's
get a pic. Come on.

Okay, ready?

- And one, two, three!
- [Camera clicks]

♪ Kicking it with you!

[Music]

Of all the gym joints in all the
world, you had to tumble into mine.

So my bus leaves in an hour.

Any chance of you coming with me?

I'd only slow you down.

- Don't be silly.
- No, I'm serious.

I get carsick, airsick, seasick.

If it moves, I've blown chunks on it.

So I guess this is...

Good-bye.

[Sighs] What a woman.

Don't worry, Milton. She'll be back.

Because true love conquers all?

Nope.

Because I still have her medals.