03x15 - Temple of Doom

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Kickin' It". Aired: June 13, 2011 - March 25, 2015.*
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Follows a crew of lovable misfits- Jack, Jerry, Milton and Kim - and their Sensei Rudy - at Bobby Wasabi Martial Arts Academy.
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03x15 - Temple of Doom

Post by bunniefuu »

Okay, when it's halfway filled with
water, you put the apples in like this.

[Jerry scoffs] [Laughs]

Seriously, Kim?

You've been put in charge of
the school's Halloween party,

and bobbing for apples
is the best you got?

Actually, Jerry, it's kind of scary.

[Mocking] Actually,
Jerry, it's kind of scary.

Am I gonna get a Granny Smith or...

A Red Delicious apple...

- [Monster growls]
- [Screaming]

[Pants]

You're a sick woman, Kim.

[Both laugh]

- Did you see his face?
- Yes.

Guys, this party is gonna be epic.

We just have to find a place
better than the school gym.

Got my Halloween decorations.

Uh, Rudy, you didn't get very much.

Yes, he did!

I'll go get the rest.

We got ghosts, ghouls, goblins.

If it starts with a "G" and
scares children, I bought it.

Even got a Guinea pig.

- Kids aren't afraid of Guinea pigs.
- Oh yeah, check this one out.

[Snorting, squealing]

Oh! You can't tell which is
the face and which is the butt.

I found out the hard way
when I tried to kiss it.

Hello, my Wasabi friends.

- Hey, Wan Chi!
- Wan Chi!

Hit me up.

[Both grunt]

I've come to ask a favor. We're hoping
you can watch our temple for two weeks.

Why us?

Because you possess those rare
gifts of patience, honor and...

Everybody else said "no"?

Most of them cut me off at
"I've come to ask a favor".

I got you covered. Are
you traveling somewhere?

We have been offered a prestigious
opportunity to perform our

ancient Shaolin techniques at
the Pan-Asian Mung Bean Festival.

Ah, the Mung Bean, my favorite legume.

Jack and Kim are giving me the
"I'm a geek" look, aren't they?

Not just Jack and Kim.

Thank you, Milton. I
know I can depend on you.

Ah-ha!

Bobbing for apples, nice.

- [Growling]
- [Yelps]

Oh, that's pretty
good. Who's under there?

[All scream]

I love Halloween.

[Rock music playing]

- ♪ Don't...
- ♪Don't...


- ♪You...
- ♪You...


♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪Won't...
- ♪Won't...


- ♪You...
- ♪You...


♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!


- ♪That's just how we do.
- ♪Come on!


♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kicking it with you.


♪Here we go, let's start the party!

♪Chop it up like it's karate.

♪Everybody!

- ♪Don't...
- ♪ Don't...


- ♪You...
- ♪You...


♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪ Won't...
- ♪Won't...


- ♪You...
- ♪You...


♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!


- ♪That's just how we do.
- ♪Come on!


♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kicking it with you.


[Music]

We believe the temple is filled
with living energy called chi.

Which needs to be balanced.

Now, the sand in the Zen Garden
needs to be raked twice a day.

And that will help
me balance my own chi?

No, but it will get the neighbor's
cat poop out of the sand.

So where are your friends?

Oh, Kim's planning a big Halloween
party and everyone else is helping.

Why aren't you there?

Never really been a big party guy...

With he music and the scandalous hors
d'oeuvres and that tawdry dancing... ugh.

Why would you want to do that when you
can stay home and get your science on?

You remind me of an
ancient warrior Yoshimi.

He didn't like to have fun either.

years ago, Yoshimi was in
love with the beautiful Mariko,

but he never made time
to have fun with her.

Well, I always make time to make
fun with the woman in my life.

As a matter of fact, I
set an entire weekend aside

just for candle-making with mother.

When Mariko left him for another,
Yoshimi d*ed of a broken heart.

Legend has it, his spirit is
trapped in these temple walls.

Waiting for a kiss from
Mariko to set him free.

Well, when it comes to a kiss, some
girls are really worth waiting for.

You know, it's the thrill of the hunt
that keeps you going back to the jungle.

You know what I'm saying?

I really don't.

This is going to be so cool.

These severed heads and bloodied
hands are going to scare everybody.

[Scoffs]

They're not gonna scare me.

I'm a Sensei who spent years learning
how to eliminate all fear... oh!

[Screams] Dead moth!
Dead moth! Dead moth!

What is all this?

Oh, we're getting the
dojo ready for Halloween.

Over my dead body.

Oh, that is a great idea.

You lie down with this
fake hatchet in your head.

No dojo with my name on it will in
any way participate in Halloween!

Why are you so down on Halloween?

It's just such a pointless holiday.

I mean, people wearing ridiculous jewelry,
gaudy outfits and oversized wigs...

I mean, who does that?

But these decorations are awesome.

[Sarcastically] Really?
Rubber bats, ooh!

Fake body parts! Oh!

Candy spiders... [laughs]

Please.

No, no, that was actually a real spider.

Are you okay?

Well, it was just a
teensy-weensy little spider.

[Slurred] I'm sure it
was completely harmless.

Remember what I said,
absolutely no Halloween!

[Blabbering]

Uh, excuse me. Um, what
do you think you're doing?

When we were thinking of where to have the
party, I realized I had the perfect place!

This creepy old courtyard
outside the temple.

Well, not gonna happen, Kim.

I'll alert the Warriors with
the gong of temple violations.

Oh, can I see that?

[Water splashes]

Okay, I am having this party,
Milton, whether you like it or not.

Well, let me tell you something, missy!

I am in charge here. And I
will use every fiber of my being

to stop you from throwing a Halloween
party on these hallowed grounds.

- [Dance music playing]
- People, please.

When you put your punch
down, use coasters.

And Jerry! Stop diving
into the Koi Pond.

Underpants is not a bathing suit.

Jerry: Woo!

- [Water splashes]
- Gahh!

♪ Hey!

♪Come on!

♪ Kickin' it with you!

I suspect Bobby's deep-seated hatred

of Halloween is buried
under years of repression.

There's no way he's gonna
tell us what's behind it

unless we're very clever and subtle.

Hey, Bobby. What's your
problem with Halloween?

Finally, someone asks.

When I was , I trick-or-trat
right here in this Mall.

My heart was filled with wonder and
my pumpkin was filled with treats.

[Kids scream]

[Distorted laughter]

[Sobbing]

Well, you've associated
Halloween with that bad memory.

Now all we have to do is
associate Halloween with

a happy memory and break the cycle.

I appreciate it, Rudy.

But I have got it under control.

[Shrieks]

Get those monsters away from me!

Milton! You're ruining my party.

You kicked us out of the Koi Pond, lowered
the music, and took down our zip line.

Yo!

Check it out, people. My turn!

Woo... whoa!

Somebody should have told Jerry.

Let's see what Wan Chi has to say
about your party when I call him.

- Dude.
- Milton.

Can I borrow your phone?

I'm sorry, dude, I
didn't bring my phone.

[Cellphone ringing]

What's that sound then?

That is the sound...

Of my new ringing pirate pants.

Yeah, they alert me when it's
time to go to the bathroom.

Gahh!

Huh, there has to be
a phone here somewhere.

Knowing the Warriors and
their simple way of life,

it's probably designed to
fit in with their decor.

Ah-ha.

The old horse leg phone.

Hello?

Oh...

Yoshimi's journal.

This must have been his room.

[Distant cheering, chattering]

[Painting rattles]

[Rattling]

[Wind whispers]

- Who's there?
- [Creaks, slams]

Jerry? I... I know that's you.

Oh, let's all scare Milton on
Halloween. Well, it's not gonna work.

[Painting rumbles]

Okay, it might be working a little bit.

[Deep voice] Yoshimi's back!

And this time, he's gonna party.

[Music]

♪ Kickin' it with you.

[Dance music playing]

This party's a dud.

Eyeball ice cubes in the punch.

Dirt cake and cupcakes
covered in fake mold...

[Chuckles]

The mold is real, Albert.
Jerry forgot to refrigerate 'em.

Blegh... I don't like it.

The only thing scary
about this party is Jerry

and his freaky friends
on the dance floor.

[Dance music]

[Deep voice] Ah!

Milton, did you know that
there's mold on these cupcakes?

That is clearly a
health-code violation... oh!

[Record scratches, song changes]

Whoa, what are you doing?

Crowd: Ooh.

What is he doing?

I don't know, but I like it!

Crowd: Milton! Milton! Milton!

Milton! Milton!

[Owl hoots]

So how is going into a Halloween maze
going to help Bobby overcome his fear?

I came here every year as
a kid during Halloween time.

Going through a Halloween maze is a magical
experience that can last a lifetime.

So how come we're sneaking in?

We're not gonna pay to get in.
It's just some crummy old maze.

Come on.

So what goes on in this
maze of Hallow's Eve?

Well, once you're in it, you
try to find your way out of it

while scary characters jump out at you.


- Oh.
- Don't worry. They're just actors.

- Actors.
- Hold it right there, you three!

- Where do you think you're going?
- Oh, I got this.

[Clears throat]

We are but three lost souls
ensnared in your maze of terror!

[False scream] [Laughs]

This is fun. [Giggles]

Halloween maze closed down years ago.

You're on Douglas property now.

And we don't stand for no trespassers.

- I don't think this guy's an actor.
- [Scoffs] You're telling me.

I didn't believe him for a moment.

And who did your makeup? It looks like
you glued a chinchilla to your chin.

- [Rips]
- [Yowls]

Now see, that I believed.

Bravo, Sir! Bravo!

- Bobby...
- Mm?

I think this guy's the real thing.

So...

This wacko farmer...

Really is a, uh...

Wacko farmer?

[Grunts]

- Run! Go, guys!
- Get 'em, boys!

Get 'em!

Take it from me, ladies.

Those buffalo wings have quite a kick.

[Belches]

[Giggles]

Milton, what's happening?

Yoshimi's what's happening, honey.

I've been trapped in these walls
for years and I want to dance.

Oh, forget you. Who's she?

[Purrs]

Can you believe that?

What, that Milton thinks
he's some guy named Yoshimi?

No, that he thinks Laura
Bitterman is cuter than me.

- Pfft, where is that coming from?
- What is he thinking?

Shut it.

Hey, you guys keep an eye on Milton.
I'm gonna go find out what's going on.

[Grunts]

[All gasp]

- Oh! Oh! Look out! They're coming.
- Where'd they go?

- Go go go.
- I don't know which way.

Bobby: It's like a maze in here.

[All panting]

I am exhausted.

I can't go on anymore.

Look at what we got
here! [Farmers cackle]

Rudy, Bobby, I'm scared.

I just want to go home. I am never
celebrating Halloween ever again.

Aw, little boy's scared.

[Laughter]

That is it, you backwards maze monsters!

I had the joy of
Halloween ruined for me.

You are not going to
ruin it for the boy!

Yeah, Bobby's right. We're done running.

[Cackles]

You heard 'em, boys! Get 'em!

[Grunting]

[Shouting]

[Grunts]

Oh, that was nice.

[Groans loudly]

- That was awesome, guys!
- Let's get out of here.

And for the first time in a long time...

Enjoy Halloween.

Uh, this is a bit awkward.

But could you kind gents
please direct us out of here?

[Moaning]

No no, we'll figure it out.

Guys guys, I was in Yoshimi's room and
this book explains what happened to Milton.

[Scoffs] Book? Please when has anyone
ever learned anything from a book?

Yoshimi lost the love of his life,
Mariko, because he never had any fun.

His spirit must have been trapped in his
room and it somehow entered Milton's body.

Guys, Yoshimi's searching
for his Lost Love.

Kim, please.

Look, if you think we believe that
Milton is possessed by some cr...

You know, I think Kim's onto something.

Guys, yo, check this out. Does this
sketch of Mariko look like anybody we know?

- Jerry: Oh.
- Both: That looks like me.

Kim. I meant Kim. Definitely Kim.

[Grunting]

Yo, I think he's getting mad
because he can't find Mariko.

I think he's getting mad because those
crab puffs are all puff and no crab.

We just have to keep Milton calm
until Kim's ready to come out.

Uh, hey, buddy.

How you doing?

Look, Yoshimi, we know
you're looking for Mariko.

Mariko! Where is she?

Which one of you took her from me?!

- He did.
- Wait!

You probably shouldn't have done that!

Ha! You just got flipped by Milt...

[Shouts]

Guys!

Die!

[Shouts]

[Grunting]

[Grunts]

Don't clap for that cheap magic trick.

He's obviously being held
up by some kind of wire...

That you can't see at all.

So it looks like he's really flying.

I mean, it really
looks like he's flying.

I believe. I believe!

Fly, boy! Fly!

Uh, if anybody's mom's here to pick
them up, I'd like a ride please.

Yoshimi.

It's me, Mariko.

Mariko.

Sweet Mariko.

I've ridden the waves of time for an
eternity searching for you, my love.

You found me, Yoshimi.

Now you can move on from this world.

Well, I can't until you
fulfill your promise of a kiss.

Absolutely. If that's what
I promised you, then...

I'm sorry, a what now?

I cannot move on to the next world
until your lips touch mine in this one.

Fine.

I will give you a kiss.

But don't try anything fancy!

- Milton.
- Hey, Milton.

Dude, are you okay?

[Normal voice] I think so.

- Do you remember anything?
- [Exhales]

No.

Oh, dude, you turned into this -year-old
spirit, and I totally dominated you.

Yeah, oh, and I loaned you bucks.

- Jerry.
- Sorry.

Man, we're so glad you're back.

Because of you, Kim was able to
throw the best Halloween party ever.

But it's over now. Okay,
let's wind the party

down, get things cleaned
up and get out of here.

Well, hang on a second.

The whole school's here.
Everybody's having fun.

Another couple hours won't hurt anybody.

Wow, you've changed, Milton.

Come on, Kim. I'm the
same guy I always was.

[Dance music resumes]

Uh, no, I've changed,
definitely changed.

[Music]

♪ Kickin' it with you!

Hey, Kim, um...

I got to admit this was
a pretty great party.

Thanks, Albert.

You know, the spirit of Yoshimi
left Milton and I think he...

[Mimics Yoshimi] Went into me.

[Deep voice] And we know there's only
one way to get him out. [Chuckles]

Oh! Ow!

Is he out or should we do it again?

[Normal voice] No, he's
out. Definitely out.

♪ Kickin' it with you!
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