08x11 - Andy's Investment

[bunniefuu]

"Aunt bee.

Knowledge is..."

"Knowledge is..."

Morning, aunt bee.

Andy, what's knowledge?

What?

I've started this,
and I can't finish it.

"Knowledge is..."

Oh, for that... uh, um...

Let's put,
"knowledge is power."

No, that sounds too m*llitary.

Well, how about,
"knowledge is the tool of life"?

Good, Andy. Good.

"Knowledge is the tool
of life."

Who said it?

Me.

Oh, I thought maybe it might be
somebody like Shakespeare.

No. I b*at him to it
this time.

What is that?

That is a collegiate dictionary

for Louise spooner's
boy, Willis,

from Hartford, remember?

Oh, yeah, Willis,
the one with the adenoids.

He had them taken out

and Louise says he talks
like anybody else now.

Good. What college
is he going to?

He's going to a small college
in Connecticut

that has very low requirements.

I mean,
Louise didn't write that.

I got that from Harriet
cleaver in south bend.

Oh.

I wish he were going to Yale.

It's so nearby, and it's
such a lovely campus.

Saw it in
a Jack oakie movie once...

All the boys
in their college sweaters

and their white duck pants.

I don't know.

Somehow Willis never seemed
like the Yale type to me.

Well, it would have done him
a world of good.

There seemed to be such
a feeling of friendliness.

The boys were always standing
in front of the fireplace

singing "boola boola."

You know, I was just thinking.

We'll be going through
this same thing

with Opie pretty soon.

Opie?

College?

Yeah. He graduates junior high,
then high school

and then he's off.

He's still such a child.

Hi, aunt bee.

Hi, pa.

Oh, hi, ope.

Is something wrong?

Oh, no, no, Opie.

We were just talking
about your going to college.

Oh, yeah.

Arnold and I were talking
about that just the other day.

He wants to be a doctor
like his father.

I don't know what
I want to be yet.

You got plenty of
time to decide that.

Yeah.

Many guys in your class
planning to go to college?

About half and half.

Some of the kids' fathers
told them

they can't afford to send them.

I guess it's kind of expensive.

Well, I got to do my homework.

Well, um...

I wonder how expensive it is.

I don't know.

I never gave that part
of it much thought.

It seems

so far away.

Helen would know about it.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Maybe I'll talk to her
and find out how much

a college education costs
these days.

How much?

Around $ ,
for the four-year course.

$ , ?!

That's impossible.

How many parents can afford
that kind of money?

Well, that's about what it costs
at many of the private colleges.

Of course, it varies a little.

I had no idea it was that much.

Of course, that includes
everything, Andy.

You said private colleges.

How about one of
the state colleges?

The university of north
Carolina at chapel hill?

That would be
a lot less expensive...

About half.

There's practically no tuition.

Oh...he could stay
at his aunt Martha's.

She's always begging him
to come up there.

That's it.
That's the answer.

Well, he'd have
to be accepted first.

So?

Well, Andy, the requirements
at a lot of the state colleges

are even higher than at many
of the private institutions.

Right now, it's a "b" average

and in a few years
when Opie's ready to go

it could even be a b+.

Oh.

And his work's
just about average...

A little better... c+.

Isn't it possible
he could do better

by the time he gets
to high school?

Well, of course it's possible

but high school
is even more difficult.

Oh.

Of course,
I know it's a long ways off.

$ , .

You know how much I...

Everybody in town knows
how much I make.

I can't bank that kind of money.

I could afford
part of it, but...

I know, I know that some
children can't go to college.

Opie's not going
to be one of them.

Hi, Andy.

Oh, hi, Howard, Emmett.

Say, Andy, you want
to go bowling tonight?

We got an alley.

Gee, not tonight.

I don't think so.

Not in the mood.

Anything wrong, Andy?

I got a few problems.

I'm trying to figure a way
to send Opie through college.

Hey, what does a thing
like that run these days?

About $ , .

Wow.
$ , ?!

For what?

So a kid can learn to jitterbug

and wear his hair over his eyes?

Come on, Emmett.

I'd say that's a mighty
poor appraisal

of a college education.

I often wonder where I'd be
today if I hadn't gone

to an institution
of higher learning.

What institution
did you ever go to?

I happened to have attended
bradbury business college.

That place over in mt. Pilot

on the third floor
of the bank building?

That's right.

You call that a college?

You know the place.

Yeah, I've heard of it.

Their campus is
wall-to-wall linoleum.

Emmett, the important thing is
not where a college is located,

it's what you come away with:

Knowledge and warm friendships.

You graduated from bradbury,
did you?

Oh, yeah.

Took the full
year-and-a-half course.

Know who else graduated
from bradbury?

Cyrus whitley.

He's now doing five years
in prison for embezzlement.

He probably learned
how to embezzle in college.

Emmett, there's a bad apple
in every barrel

but you can't knock
a college education

particularly in this age
of specialization.

It puts a kid way ahead.

Oh, I question that.

A kid gets out of high school,
he learns a trade...

I say he's just as far ahead

and he saves his hard-working
father a lot of money.

Well, that's another way
of looking at it, yes.

But I want Opie
to go to college.

Well, it's your boy.

You don't want
to go bowling tonight?

No.

Okay. I'll see you.

Okay.

You know, Andy

it would be a great
thing for Opie

if you could possibly swing it.

Yeah.

But it looks like
I'm going to have to fall

into a gold mine or something.

You ever thought of taking
on another job maybe?

A sideline of some kind.

Well, Howard, being a sheriff's
a -hour job.

Yeah, I know.

Gee, there ought to be some way

you could work up
a little extra income.

Maybe start a small
business of some kind, huh?

I don't know what it would be.

Yeah.

Well, if I get any
flashes, I'll call you.

Okay. Thanks, Howard.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Anything promising in there?

Oh, not yet.

Most of them just aren't
the type of thing

I'm suited for.

Well, Andy, you
have to be flexible.

Okay.

"Be a pink lady.

Sell our line of cosmetics
door-to-door."

Now, I'm not that flexible.

Here's another one:

"Sell the encyclopedia europa

"and work your way
through summer camp

the easy way."

Anything in there for men?

Oh, sure.

"Take orders for suits
tailored in Hong Kong."

See, the trouble there,
I'd be known as "tailor Taylor."

Something in there
must make sense.

Well, yeah, but they all require

devoting a lot of time
to the business

and I can't even think
about those.

Hmm.

Something interesting?

This part of it makes sense.

"Business that operates
by itself.

"A few hours a week
of your time.

Minimum investment,
maximum profits."

It's one of those franchises

on those coin-operated,
self-service laundries,

you know?

Yes. Yes, that's
worth investigating.

"Laundercoin, incorporated."

I've never heard of that one.

But they have two
coin-operated laundries

in mt. Pilot and they're
jammed night and day.

Huh.

Gee, I don't know, though...

My getting involved
in a thing like this.

Well, I think one would go
in Mayberry.

There are several empty
stores on main street.

Lots of people don't
have washing machines.

It'd be almost like
a public service.

Mm-hmm.

Maybe, maybe, but, gee...

I...i just don't know.

Pa!

Pa? I was just talking
to Arnold about college.

I'm getting real excited
about it.

Oh, good, good.

And you know what
you were saying?

Arnold's going to be a doctor

and maybe I'd be a dentist.

We could have our offices
together and everything.

Dentistry's a wonderful
profession, Opie.

You'd be in a position
to spare so many people

so much pain.

I know.

And I've got a steady hand, too.

You know how it is

when I use your electric drill.

Oh, yeah. Real good.

We'd be so proud of you, Opie.

Of course, that'd mean
I'd have to go to college

for four more years at least.

Four years regular
and four years dentistry.

Would that be too much
to spend for you, pa?

Oh, oh, no.
I could swing that.

Good. I'll see you.

Arnold and I were just talking
about where we want our offices.

Eight years.

Maybe I better look
into this laundry business.

It's a dandy little store

and it's a dandy
little location.

Oh, well.

Now, you say it wouldn't
take much time?

That's very important.

Figure it out yourself.

In the mornings

you set out the bleaches
and the detergents

and check the coin-changing
machine to see that it's full.

Time? Ten minutes.

And then in the evening,
you empty the coin boxes.

That's another ten minutes.

And I'm sure that even
a busy sheriff like yourself

can afford a couple
minutes a day

to earn an extra $ a month.

$ .

You know, this is starting
to sound more and more

like the kind of thing
I'm looking for.

Now, why don't we
check this contract?

And then if there's
anything in it

that you want explained,
I'd be happy to do it.

You see, right here...

Uh, uh, well, listen, I, uh,

I, uh, appreciate all of you

coming out like this
on our first day.

It makes it kind of a
celebration, doesn't it?

You got a real great-
looking place here, Andy.

Oh, thanks.

All the luck in the world, Andy.

Thanks, Howard.

That's all right.

Well, anyways, aunt bee here

has asked to be
the first customer

and she's got the number
one machine all loaded

so, aunt bee,
anytime you're ready.

Go on.

All right.

Well, it looks like
we're off and running

and I just want to point
out one thing:

This little business here
isn't going to interfere

with my job at all.

See, I'll still be right on duty
the whole time

just like, just like always

and you just bring your laundry
in any time that you, uh...

Uh, feel...

Anybody got a wrench?

Andy?

Got those accident reports
you wanted.

Oh, good, Howard.

I've been wanting
to go over those with you.

Get everything straightened
out over at the laundry?

Aunt bee put in too much soap.

Oh, well, that can happen.

Is everything classified?

Yeah. Yeah, as
you can see here

most of the accidents
occurred because...

What are you going
to do about it?

What am I gonna do about what?

My shirt, just look at it.

Well, I'm looking at it.

What about it?

Nothing, except
it used to be white

before I took it over
to that laundry of yours.

A white shirt?

Pure white.

Cost me $ . at sneedling's,
and I only wore it once.

Gonna make good, or ain't ya?

A white shirt just
doesn't turn purple.

What did you do to it?

Look, college boy, this
is between Andy and me.

Well, Emmett, you must have
some idea of how it happened.

Well, I know how it happened.

My purple sweater ran.

You mean you
washed them together?

Well, why not?

Emmett, anybody knows

that you don't wash

a white shirt
with a purple sweater.

We've even got signs
with instructions.

You have?

Well, yes.

Now, that's not my fault.

It's your fault.

It's definitely not my fault.

It's not my fault.

Well, it's not my fault.

It's my wife's fault.

I told her laundry
was her department.

Well, Emmett, we're
kind of busy here.

Yeah, we'll see you, Emmett.

All right.

I guess I can always wear it

with my faded purple sweater.

Andy Taylor,

what do you think you're doing?

Oh, I'm writing out
a parking ticket

for you, Mrs. Larch.

Well, if that isn't
gratitude for you.

I happen to have been
in you laundry.

Oh. Well, I appreciate
the business

but we still have our
parking regulations

and there are a lot
of places around here

you can park as
long as you want.

Do you expect me
to carry my laundry

from two blocks away?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Larch,

but there's nothing
I can do about that.

Well, I can see you're
not much of a businessman.

Well, I'm a sheriff first.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Larch.

Well, I can assure you
this is the last time

you'll get any of m business.

Well, I hate for
you to say that.

Try to do something nice
for somebody

and that's the thanks you get.

Oh, don't pay any attention
to Mrs. Larch.

She's only one person.

And it is making money,
isn't it?

Yes, but it's...It's
interfering with my job.

It'll all work out.

You'll see.

I didn't show you this, pa.

I was drilling some holes today.

Just fooling around.

Oh, that's...That's
mighty clean, ope.

You know, pa, I really think

I'm going to make
a good dentist.

Well, sure you will.

I saw Dr. Burnside today

and I told him
what I was going to do.

Yeah?

He said he'd be looking
for somebody

to take over his practice

when he gets older.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Now that I know about my future

I can relax a little.

Sure.

You can relax a little, too, pa,

because I know how fathers
are always worried about

what their sons are going to do.

Oh, no problems from here on in.

Right. Well, night, pa.

Night, aunt bee.

Good night, Opie.

Oh...

We certainly set
things in motion

with that college talk,
didn't we?

Yeah.

Eight years.

It may not be dentistry, but
he'll specialize in something

and it'll take at least seven

or eight years.

That's a bunch of laundry.

Well, this is Mayberry.

Yes, sir, inspector.

Probably one of
the best-policed communities

in this part of the state.

Taylor, you say?

Andy Taylor.
He's got a great record.

I gathered that
in going over the reports.

Well, shall we go in?
Yes, sir.

Andy?

Andy?

Well, he's probably
out on his rounds.

We can go to siler city
if you want to

and hit Mayberry another day.

No. I want
to meet this Taylor.

Come on, now...

Oh! Excuse me!

Is sheriff Taylor in?

No, ma'am, he's out somewhere.

Oh, well, he'll know
what to do with this.

Just tell him to call
Alpha Porter, if you would.

Sure will, ma'am.

Thank you.

All right, now.

Looks like laundry.

Yeah. Well, that's
Taylor for you.

Everybody knows

that he'll take care
of their problems.

A human touch.

Exactly, sir.

Shall we go out?

Maybe we can find him.

Fine.

You mean you can't tell me

if this is going
to shrink or not?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Legrande.

I just don't know that much
about the different materials.

Well, you're in the laundry
business, aren't you?

Well, yes.

Uh...i imagine
that some things shrink

and some don't.

Well, I don't mind if
it shrinks a little

because I have lost
a few pounds lately.

Well, that's nice.

I've been on a low-calorie diet.

Nothing but meat, chicken, fish

and steamed vegetables.

That's wonderful.

Yes, I suppose it is

if yo don't have to be on it.

Certainly a clean little town.

Yes, sir.

Shall we keep walking?

Might as well.

That fella said
Taylor was walking

in the same direction.

Right, sir.

I'm just wondering how
much it could shrink.

Andy, hold it up, would you?

Mrs. Legrande...

Hold it up, Andy,
please, so I can see.

A little higher.

Now, you're about a
foot taller than I am

so I want to see where
the hem comes on you.

Mrs. Legrande.

They're wearing
dresses shorter now

so if it should shrink
about two inches...

Yes, that might be fine.

Oh, hello, Leroy.

Hello, Andy.

Andy, I'd like you
to meet Mr. Rogers.

He's the head of the state
bureau of investigation.

Mr. Rogers.

Uh, I was just, uh...

Taylor, I wonder if we could go

back to the courthouse
and have a little chat.

Well, certainly. Certainly.

I'm sorry, he can't go now.

He's holding up my dress.

Mrs. Legrande...

Stand still.

I can't tell how it's going

to look if it does shrink

if you move around like that.

Where's your waist?

Mrs. Legrande...

Are you in the laundry
business or not?

I don't have to tell you
what a sheriff makes,

so I just had to look for
some outside investments.

Investments, yeah, but that
looks like a whole career.

Well, you just happened
to come in on the worst.

Though I will admit

it's taking up more time
than I anticipated.

How long you had the place?

A week, just a week.

Oh, excuse me, pa.

I didn't mean to butt in.

Anything important, ope?

It can wait.

That's the college boy, huh?

Yeah.

Fine-looking lad.

Thanks, inspector.

Don't think I'm not aware

of your problem, Taylor.

I've got a couple
kids of my own.

They're both in college now.

How'd you manage to swing it?

Well, fortunately, their
grades were good enough

for them to get
into a state college.

That, of course,
was a big saving.

I see.

Now, I'm not trying
to tell you what to do, Taylor.

It is commendable

but in our business it
just doesn't work out.

We've only got time for one job

and, you know, election time

does come up.

You don't want people
starting to wonder

whether you're a sheriff
or in the laundry business.

Yeah, I know.

I'd just hate to see
you jeopardize your job here.

Yeah.

Hi, ope.

Oh, hi, Mr. Sprague.

Hey, your dad tells me

you're going to college
and take up dentistry, huh?

Uh, yeah. Maybe.

Gee, what's the matter?

You don't sound
too enthusiastic.

Well, you know how it is.

I'll see you,
Mr. Sprague.

See ya.

Well, Andy, I just can't
keep up with you.

You say you sold the place?

To Charlie Johnson.

He's had his eye on it
ever since I opened up

and he paid me just
what I paid for it.

It's a moneymaker,
no doubt about that

but it'll just...
It'll take somebody

that can devote a lot more
time to it than I can.

But what about
the reason for it all?

Seemed so important to you...

The money and everything.

I'll just have to figure...
Figure out something else.

Hi, pa.

Hi, aunt bee.

Hi, Opie.

Oh, hi, ope.

You know, pa, I've been
doing a lot of thinking

about my college career.

You know, what college I
want to go to and all that?

Oh, you have?

I decided I want to go
to a state college...

The university
of north Carolina.

The university
of north Carolina?

Yeah. It's a great school
and it's not too far away.

Well, sure, it's a great school

but you have to have mighty fine
grades to get in there.

I mean, above average.

I know. That's why
I'm going to start to study

real hard now.

What you got there?

Biology, Latin...Algebra.

Those are high school subjects.

Yeah. I figure, why wait
until the last minute?

I want to start
looking them over.

Do you suppose he knew anything

about that money problem?

Guess he just sensed it.

There's something
awful special about that boy.

And I think he's going
to make a very fine dentist.

Boy, I'm glad Opie's
doing better in school.

Oh, and practically overnight.

He's taken on a real dedication
to his schoolwork.

Well, I always felt
he was capable of it.

Well, if he keeps up
at this rate,

he'll be at least a "b" student
in high school.

Oh, boy, that could solve
a lot of problems.

Oh, Helen, have some more cake.

Good old walnut.

Okay.

Oh!

What's the matter, Helen?

Oh, I think I bit into
a nutshell or something.

Oh, I'm sorry.

My back tooth is so sensitive.

Well, if you can hold off
for a while,

I know a kid that can do
a fine job for you.