08x14 - Suppose Andy Gets Sick

[bunniefuu]

What are you
thinking about, Emmett?

Oh, I was thinking about getting
a new pair of shoelaces.

That right one snapped on me
this morning.

Yeah.
I see that.

I hate to buy shoelaces.

Always a problem remembering
what size you need.

Right, Andy?

Hmm?

I say it's a problem

for the average man
to buy shoelaces.

No.

All right.
What size do you wear?

?

Come on. Quick. Quick.
Quick. Quick. Quick.

Looks like he's got you
dead to rights.

God bless you.

Thank you.

I think I'll go in the shop
and measure my shoelaces.

Hey, Emmett, be sure and let me
know what they measure.

Right.

Harvey...

Hi, Andy.

You see that sign over there?

Yeah?

I've got those signs
posted all over town.

I know. I seen 'em.
Great idea, Andy.

Time we cracked down
on some of those crazy drivers.

You're right,
and I've never seen

anything crazier
than what you just did...

A u-turn right in the middle
of main street.

Now, that's against
the law, Harvey.

It always has been,
and you know it.

Give him a ticket, Andy.

Well, there was nobody coming'
either way.

I looked.

That's got nothing
to do with it.

You not only broke the law,
but during this week

when we're trying to cr*ck down
on reckless drivers.

Attaboy, Andy.

Give him a ticket.

Goober, keep your nose
out of this.

There you are.

Ha ha.

Attaboy, Andy.

You let them fellas
get away with it once,

they'll walk all over you.

You said it, Emmett.

You want some coffee?
I just put on a pot.

You want some?

Hmm.

You know, Andy, I had an idea

about that safety
campaign of yours.

I was thinking
that if you made a list

of all the folks you gave
tickets to, them folks from...

Oh, goober, incidentally,
the lace is inches.

Oh!
Hey, inches.

Now you know.

If you posted a list of all
the folks you gave tickets to,

then folks would know
you were serious

and it wasn't just some kind
of a warning or something.

Huh. Might be an idea.

You getting' a cold?

No. Just a little sniffle.

No such thing
as a little sniffle.

A sniffle's a sniffle.

You sneezed a couple
of times, too.

Well, I wouldn't worry about it.

You ought to go see doc Roberts.

An ounce of prevention
is worth a pound of cure.

Goober's right.

With this safety campaign
in full swing,

you wouldn't want to be
on your back.

Andy, you know,
I was thinking'...

With this being
a one-sheriff town

what'd ever happen around here
if you was to get sick?

I haven't been sick
since I took on the job, have I?

Well, that ain't saying'
you couldn't be.

Oh, just... just forget it.

There's another one.
God bless you.

All right. So?

You know, Andy, I wouldn't
take this thing too lightly.

A town without a sheriff
is a town without law.

And a town without law
is a town without a conscience.

Hey, Emmett, that's a good thing
you said there.

Thanks.

I'll see you guys.

Andy?

Hmm?

Don't you feel well?

I feel fine.

You haven't even touched
your food.

Hmm. Not hungry.

You know you've been sniffling
ever since you got home?

I think you got
a cold coming' on.

Gonna eat your supper?

Yes, pa.

You even look
a little flushed to me.

Me too.

Opie!

Gee, pa, that's what
you always to do me

when I have a cold coming' on.

I don't have a cold coming on.

Oh, Andy, stop being such
a great big, strong man

who's never been sick a day
in his life

and doesn't intend to be.

I think he should go to bed
and force fluids.

Can we just change the subject?

Gee, pa, forcing fluids
makes you perspire,

and that breaks your fever.

Those are your own words.

I don't have a fever.

You felt warm to me.

I'm going to call Dr. Roberts.

You'll do nothing of the sort.

I've just got a little sniffle.

I'll go to bed early,
and tomorrow it'll be gone.

If it isn't, will you promise
to call Dr. Roberts?

Yes, I promise.

When is doc Roberts coming back?

On his way back
from his house calls.

I'm just doing this now so
everybody can forget about it.

I must say,
you do look a little peaked.

Well, that's what I was
thinking.

Lookit there.

Look how pale his cheeks are.

Well, your cheeks
have always been rosy red.

They have not been rosy red.

Howard, hasn't Andy's cheeks
always been rosy red?

Well, I've always felt

that while Andy's complexion
isn't ruddy by nature,

he usually has more color
than he has right now.

Can't you ever just say yes
or no?

Hi, Andy.

A little under the weather?

Oh, a little bit...
Nothin' serious.

He's catchin' a cold,
maybe worse.

Why don't we let the doctor
decide what I've got

or, more important,
what I don't have?

Well, that's okay with us.

Thank you.

Open up.

Aunt bee made him call you.

If he's got something,
best to catch it early.

An ounce of prevention
is worth a pound of cure.

That's exactly what I said,
and I'm not even a doctor.

He's taking' his pulse.

I know.

He ought to check
his throat, too.

Well, if he don't, you
might mention it to him.

How you feelin', Andy?

What'd you say?
What?

Goober, put that back!

Lean back, Andy.

You know, I've often wondered
why they do that.

Well, they check there
to see if there's

any congestion
in the lungs, I think.

Well, that's a good idea.

Oh, yeah.

Hmm.

What'd I tell you?

Hear anything, doctor?

You've got some temperature.

Open up.

Andy, you've got
something, all right.

Well, what kind of pills
do you want me to take?

I'll give you a prescription,

but I want you to do more
than that.

I want you to go
home and get in bed.

Get in bed?

You picked up
the flu bug some place.

These things usually take
two or three days

to run their course... if
you take care of yourself.

I'll run you home, Andy.

Can't I can't take care
of myself sittin' behind...

In bed, Andy, in bed.

I'll drop him off,
Howard, on the way.

I'll give aunt bee
some instructions.

All right.

Goober, you or Howard...

Tell Sarah if anybody's
looking for me

they can, uh,
they can find me at home.

Right, Andy.

Hello.

Oh, Andy, I hope I didn't
disturb you.

Well...

No.

You must get as much rest
as possible.

That's right.

Let me change that for you.

You'll sleep a lot better
with a fresh pillowcase.

Clara called a while ago.

She said that her nephew
has the same thing.

It's only a matter of rest...

Rest, rest...

Rest.

Right.

There we are!

There.

Now, isn't that better?

Much.

Now I'll squeeze you
some fresh lemonade.

Aunt bee, I've already had
glasses.

As much as you can take.

That...and rest.

But, goober, Dr. Roberts
gave strict orders

that he's got to rest.

I know, ope, but this
is police business.

Really important, huh?

Mighty important
or I wouldn't be here.

Well...i guess
you can go up, then.

Thanks.

Andy?

How you feelin'?

A little tired, goober.
A little tired.

The doctor said you ought to get
plenty of rest.

That's right.

I wouldn't be here now

if it weren't for
official business.

Me, Emmett, and Howard had
a big meeting' this morning'

discussin' the police situation
in Mayberry till you get better.

You and Emmett and Howard
had a meeting?

It's what we called a police
emergency committee.

I was the chairman.

I told 'em to hush up
and all that.

Well, I wouldn't worry
about a committee.

I'll be back in
a couple days, goober.

Well, it's them couple of days
that we were worried about,

what with this automobile
safety campaign goin' on.

If we was to once let
the bars down on this town,

there's no tellin'
what it might lead to.

So the committee figured
me being the only one

with deputy experience...
No.

...we decided I ought
to take over

the sheriff's office
till you get back. No.

I got Rodney takin' care
of the fillin' station. No.

There's nobody in the
sheriff's office. No!

There's no law enforcement
in the whole town!

Sarah will call me
if anything happens.

I've helped you out before.

I know you have, goober.

And I've done a good job.
Well, sometime...

Please.
Well...

Please. Please..

All right, all right, all right.

But you got to promise me
one thing:

You'll take things easy,
use a little common sense,

and don't churn things up.

And if anything big happens...
No, anything happens...

If anything happens,
have Sarah call me.

Right, chief.

Well?

Well, you got to swear me in.

You're a deputy already.

Well, that's not official.

We didn't hold up our hands
or swore or nothin'.

You're a deputy.

I accept this office
knowing full well

all the responsibility
that goes with it.

You got a badge here?

In the desk in the office.

That one's bent.
Well, straighten it!

Okay.

Andy?

Can I use the squad car?
Yes.

I figured you'd say that,
so I drove over here in it.

Thanks, aunt bee.

I didn't even know you knew
I was up here.

Mmm.

That just hit the spot,
aunt bee.

I'll see you, Andy.
Be sure and get plenty of rest.

Well, never mind, Andy.

I'll get you another one.

What did goober want?

He wants to work
in the sheriff's office

while I'm in the bed.

Well, that's a good idea.

With goober in charge of things,

you'll get all the rest...

That you need.

Well...

Thank goodness things are quiet.

Well, I think most people know

that this town is
still being properly policed.

Mm.

So often the very
presence of the law

is a deterrent in itself.

Yeah, I'll go along with that.

Snagged another one,
huh, goober?

Right.

Oh, hi, elmo.

Hi, Emmett.

What did he get you for, elmo?

Oh, ask the commissioner.

Made a right turn.

Went right over to
the left-hand side of the road.

Not even a hand signal.

All right, elmo, move it.

Right there, elmo.

Guilty or not guilty?

Just give him a ticket.

I will when I'm good and ready.

I'm not paying any ticket
till Andy gets back.

I am in charge here now.

It seems like
elmo's got a point, goober.

Wait until Andy gets back
and let him decide things.

It just so happens
that I have full authority,

and if you ain't gonna say
whether you're guilty or not

I'm just going ahead
and write you a ticket.

I don't care.
I'm still gonna wait for Andy.

Write it up.

You start showing
these fellas any mercy,

they're gonna walk all over you.

Oh, now, look,
I still maintain...

Hello, boys.

Hey, aunt bee.

Hi, aunt bee.

I've come to pick up
Andy's mail and a book.

I'm writing out a
ticket for a criminal.

It's my fifth one today.

Mm.

Oh, hello, elmo.

Hello, bee.

How is Margaret?

Oh, fine. Just fine.

Give her my best.

I sure will.

Give her my best, too.

Uh, aunt bee?

Is Andy doing much reading?

Well, some.

Has he got enough light?

Well, he has a lamp
on his bedside table.

I got one of those
bracket lights over in the shop.

Hangs right over his bed.
Give him great light.

I'll just pop over
and hang it for him.

Well, I know he'd appreciate it.

Oh, here we are.

Well, I have to run along.

I've got to do
all the marketing.

I've got a million things to do.

Toodle-oo!

Toodle-oo!

There you are.

Now, when you read that,

you'll see you got to appear
and pay your fine.

What's a good day for you?

Now, look, I'm still
gonna speak to Andy about this

when he gets better.

Now, you gonna drive me
back to my car or ain't you?

I don't think
an officer of the law

ought to socialize
with a criminal.

All right, elmo.

Come on.

I'll be on patrol.

I still maintain

that goober's far
overstepping his authority.

Oh, I don't know.

With automobile
safety week going,

he's got a job to do.

I'm going to check
the sheriff's manual

and see where his authority
starts and stops.

I'm sure Andy wouldn't
be very pleased

with the way things
are being handled.

Hello, Opie.

Hi, Emmett.

How's your pa?

Grumpy.

Well, that's understandable.

Not when I'm sick.

I always got to be cheerful.

Well, I just
dropped by for a second

to rig up
this reading lamp for him.

Does he know about it?

Well, I told your aunt bee.

Oh. Okay.

Hi, Andy!

Didn't wake you up, did I?

Hello, Emmett.

I thought I'd hook up
this lamp for you.

Important to have good light
when you're reading.

Oh...

Well, I'm...I'm not..

I'm not reading
right now, Emmett

and I got a lamp.

This?

You're getting indirect
light rays from this.

Bad for the eyes.

Now, this thing
sets right here over your head.

It's goober.

Yeah.

I got to find the studs here

to get some nailing strength.

It must be a stud
in here somewhere.

Am I in your way, Emmett?

That's all right, Andy.

Got to be a stud here somewhere.

Hey, Andy.

Opie said you might be awake.

The kid's right.

Come in, Howard.

But remember,
we got a sick man here.

Right.

Andy, I've had a feeling

that goober is far overstepping
his authority.

And I've been doing
some checking here

on the rules governing
the chain of command

in the sheriff's department.

He's got a right
to make an arrest.

No, it goes
a lot further than that.

I'd like to read a few
pertinent passages if I may.

Please do, Howard.

Now...

"When the sheriff in question

"is incapacitated

"or incapable
of performing the functions

"which are required of him

"within the boundaries
of the community

"over which he has jurisdiction

"for reasons
of health necessary...

"For reasons of health,

necessary absence
or any oth..."

Howard, Emmett, you're
not supposed to be here.

I was just hanging
a lamp, aunt bee.

I'm only going to stay
a moment, aunt bee.

Andy, you never even touched
that chicken sandwich.

I don't want it.

But you've got
to keep up your strength.

You know what the doctor said.

Goober must be doing
a good business.

Now, that's the very point

I was about to bring up.

The way goober's
operating, you can't...

The squad car?

Yes, the squad car.

And there's goober
talking to the other fella.

They both seem to be all right.

Well, what about the squad car?

Well, we'll be able
to tell more about it

when they get it
back on the wheels.

I'm okay. You just wait and see.
I'm gonna k*ll him.

Andy, you're not supposed
to get overwrought.

Aunt bee...
Aunt bee, please.

Andy, eat this chicken sandwich.

Not now, aunt bee.

Don't you get out of that bed!

You're going to catch
your death of cold.

I already got a cold!

You don't have
to raise your voice.

I'm... I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.

I'll stay in the bed.

Hey, Emmett...
No. Not now. Not now.

Emmett... no. Howard...

How bad is
the squad car damaged?

Well, it's kind of hard
to tell from this angle.

But this brings us back

to the issue
of goober's authority,

which I was trying
to point out before.

I think I can get
that better from this side.

Emmett!

Now, Andy,
as I was reading before...

Andy, it's not my fault.

He's just one of them birds

that don't look
where he's driving.

Sheriff, he was going
miles an hour.

It wasn't my fault.

Will you both get out of here!

All of you!

Andy, I want you
to eat this sandwich.

Now, this is the very point
I've been trying to make.

According to the manual
on the chain of command,

goober is overzealous.

The doctor
specifically said chicken soup

and a chicken sandwich.

I wasn't going more
than miles an hour.

I went all the way over to the
other side of the road.

Andy, I had to swerve to keep
from hitting a person head-on.

He's the kind of person
that causes accidents.

It is not my fault.

Goober, stop shouting.

I can't hear
when I reach the stud.

Just because
you've never been sick

doesn't mean this thing can't
develop into something serious.

Now, it states clearly...

He was driving like a crazy man,

blowing that siren like there
was a fire or something.

Andy, I'm a duly
sworn-in deputy.

This man's a criminal.

And I'm gonna arrest him

because he don't know
how to drive.

You are a criminal!

Just one chicken sandwich.

Morning, Andy.

Glad to see you're back.

Yeah, I'm back, goober

and you're gonna be
my first order of business.

Sit down.

Before you start getting mad,

I've worked on the car
all night long.

And it's all fixed up again.

It really wasn't
damaged that bad.

How bad the car was damaged
is not the important thing.

The important thing
is when I gave you this job,

you promised you'd take it easy
and use a little common sense.

Didn't you?
Now, didn't you?

Well, Andy, I tried to.

While I was in bed,
you handed out tickets.

Now, this isn't
Chicago or New York

and there can't be
that many automobile violations

around here in one day!

If you'll check there

you'll see I got
a couple of them twice.

Hi, Andy.

Heard you were up and about.

And I must say
it's going to be welcome news

to the entire town.

Real welcome news.

Well, that's a fine thing

when one of your
own committee members

turns against you.

Goober, you know...

Now, wait a minute.

We are not here to argue
about how all this happened.

Now, goober, I know your
intentions were of the best.

But tickets

and then on top of that
an accident...

I'm sorry, Andy.

I guess I was just
a little over... over...

Zealous.

I'll pick my own words,
if you don't mind.

Anyway, I got everything
under control now.

What?

I figured even though

you was coming back
to your office,

you'd still be
too weak to get around

and there ought
to be somebody out there

looking after things...

Yes?

Since I wasn't doing
such a good job,

I turned the deputyship
over to Emmett.

Emmett?!

Well, you see, I didn't...

Andy, I must say,
you look much better.

Mm.
Feeling almost normal again.

I'm sure glad of that.

Why?

Nothing.

Getting your color back,

and, I'm glad to say,
your appetite.

Yes.

But you know something?

Nobody can tell me
that colds aren't catching.

Why?

You know what I heard today?

Howard and Emmett and goober
are all coming down with colds.

Oh, really?

Hm.

That's the best news
I've heard today.