08x17 - The Mayberry Chef

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Andy Griffith Show". Aired: October 1960 to April 1968.*

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Andy Taylor who is a widowed sheriff raises his son in Mayberry, N.C.
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08x17 - The Mayberry Chef

Post by bunniefuu »

How'd you do in school today?

Not bad.

Miss crump said I showed
some improvement in math.

Good. Very good.

Andy, I come in the back way

so he wouldn't see me.

So who wouldn't see you?

Fella pulled into
the gas station

in a big car, fancy clothes,

wanting to know
where the Taylors lived.

Real nosy.
Asked a lot of questions.

Well, what'd you tell him?

Nothing.
I just played dumb.

I know how to do that
real good, you know.

Yeah, I know.

Why didn't you tell him
where we lived?

How do we know what he's up to?

Well, we won't find out
unless we see him.

You don't understand
these things, ope.

He must have followed me
over here.

You're not gonna let him in,
are you?

Well, it seems like
the sensible thing to do.

Well, let's all three of us go.

Come on, ope.

You ready?

Yeah.

Hello.

This is the Taylor home,
isn't it?

That's right.

Won't you come in?

Is miss bee Taylor in?

Not right now.

She should be back soon.

She just went down to the store.

Watch it, ope.

Uh, may I wait?

Oh, sure.
Come on in.

Let me introduce myself.

I'm Carl Phillips.

Phillips?

To further identify myself,
I own channel in siler city.

You mean the TV station?

Yes, that's right.

Oh, this is goober pyle.

I believe we've met.

You know, if I knowed

you owned
the television station,

I'd have told you right off
where the Taylors live.

What do you want to see
aunt bee about?

Goober, don't you need to
get back to the filling station?

Andy, me and Mr. Phillips
were talking.

I believe Mr. Phillips
wants to talk to us.

Well, I just want to know

what channel wants
with aunt bee.

When I find out, I'll tell you.

Gee whiz.

This is my son, Opie.

Hello, Opie.
Hi.

Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

Uh, you've met my aunt before?

No, I never have.

Perhaps I'd better explain
my presence here.

We're considering following
the popular vogue

of having a cooking show
on our station.

I'm sure you've seen
such programs.

A woman, usually a housewife

preparing her favorite
recipes for the audience.

I've seen those.

Me, too.

Have you?
Well, good.

Well, we've explored the field

very carefully
looking for a woman

who could conduct such a show.

In our search, we discovered

that miss Taylor has had
innumerable recipes

of her own published
in local papers

and has consistently
won prizes at county fairs.

She's been a winner, all right.

I think she's
the best cook in Mayberry.

That's wonderful.

Are you saying that
you're interested

in having my aunt
head up such a program?

Yes.

Of course,
there is one reservation,

and that's why I'm here.

In television

on programs of this type

in addition to ability,
there is the personality factor.

She's got a great personality.

Does she?

Always smiling, easygoing.

She's real pleasant.

That's what I was hoping for.

It's important
that the performer

have a pleasant personality.

Helps attract viewers.

I tell you one thing...

I'll never put my foot
in that butcher shop again!

The gall!
The nerve of that man!

I wonder who he thinks
he's dealing with, some child?

Aunt bee...

Who ever heard
of not cutting off

some fat off a pot roast
before weighing it?

I never had that trouble
with Mr. Hartinson.

He was a gentleman.

This is
Mr. Phillips.

I've been buying
pot roast for years

and not once has any butcher

ever refused to cut off
at least some of the fat.

It's robbery.

You know, I spent
nearly cents more

than I should have.

And you know what
I should have done?

Walked right out of that shop,

but I wouldn't give him
the satisfaction.

Of course, she doesn't
smile all the time.

But I did tell him,
and in no uncertain terms,

I would never put my foot
in his shop again.

And when he said he didn't care,

I told him he could
go fly a kite.

Aunt bee, Mr. Phillips
is with channel .

Hello.

When I tell
the women in this town

what I've been through,
he won't have a...

Aunt bee, Mr. Phillips
is here to see you.

Oh.

Well, I'm afraid
I've been very rude.

But I'm so mad.

Yes, I sort of gathered that.

I'm sorry.
Did you want to see me?

Yes, miss Taylor.

You are pleasant

when you get mad, aunt bee.

Opie, I agree.

Everyone has to boil over

once in a while.

I feel very embarrassed.

I don't usually make
a spectacle of myself

in front of strangers.

We all do it.

I hope you're nobody
very important

or I'll be
even more embarrassed.

Mr. Phillips owns
channel .

Oh, you are important.

Miss Taylor,
I'd like you to conduct

a cooking show for us.

On television?

That's right.

Me?
Mm-hmm.

Where everybody can see me?

Of course.

No, I don't think
that would work out.

Before you say no

let me explain the whole thing.

The more I talk to you,

the more I'm convinced
you'd be the perfect one.

You have a certain, uh...

Naturalness that would almost
insure the success of the show.

Well, what do you think,
aunt bee?

It certainly sounds attractive

but I don't know, I don't know.

But you'd be paid
a lot of money.

Yeah.

But being on a program
every night?

And in siler city?

You can make it in minutes.

And think of the nest egg

you could build up.

But what about you and Opie?

I'd be gone from
: to : every day

and who would get
your evening meal?

We'd get somebody
to come every evening

for a few hours and fix supper.

Like who?

We'll find somebody.

That wouldn't be a problem.

When did you say this
would have to start?

The time slot opens up

this Wednesday.

It's kind of a rush, I know.

Well, you all really think
I should do it?

I feel you'd be perfect.

There's no question in my mind.

And you'd be famous, too.

Yeah.

You certainly will.

Every evening you'll hear

"and now channel
presents miss bee Taylor

the Mayberry chef."

Does sound kind of exciting,

doesn't it?

Yeah.

Aunt bee on TV.

Yeah.
That's something, isn't it?

I just can't believe it.

She starts tonight, huh?
At : .

Well, gee whiz,

that's right opposite
"Rudolph rabbit."

That cartoon show?

Yeah, and he's on Venus now.

But I'll watch aunt bee.

Is she nervous?

I think she's too
busy to be nervous

getting her recipes
ready, and her food.

Wish her good luck for me.

I will.

I'll see you, goob.

I said, I'll see you.

Hello.

Oh, oh, thank you
for calling, miss felton.

Listen, the reason
I called you was that

you know aunt bee's doing
that television show now,

and we'd like to get somebody
to come over in the evening

and cook for Opie and me.

Oh, you're all booked up.

I see.

Well, thank you for calling.

Bye.

Hi, pa.

Hi, ope.

What's the matter, pa?

I still haven't been
able to get anybody

to come over and cook for us,

and I'm starting
to run out of people.

Maybe we better tell aunt bee.

No!

No. If we tell her,

why, she'll give up the show

and the money and everything.

Yeah, she's that kind.

Well, I guess we
better play it safe

and tell aunt bee
we got somebody.

She won't know the difference

because she'll be gone
every day from : to : .

We'll just make do somehow

until we do get somebody.

You with me?

Sure, pa.

That's it, now.

This was such a rush.
I know.

No matter when I start.

Here, here, we'll get these.

You get in the car.

You sure you've got everything?

Oh, I think so.

Oh, dear.

Andy, who did you get
to cook for you?

Uh, I got a
Mrs. Parkins.

Won't cost much,

and she's supposed
to be a great cook.

Do I know her?

I don't think so.

She just moved to town.

She'll do the marketing, too.

You sure everything's
going to be all right?

Oh, yes.

All right, then here I go.

Good luck.

We'll be watching.

Be sure to look.

We will.
Bye.

Ohh.

Well, here it is.

Oh, my, it's perfect.

It's so complete.

Yes, I think
you'll find everything.

Well, I'd better
start unpacking things

and putting them away.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Thanks, d*ck.

Now, uh, just a few words
of advice.

When you're preparing the food

and giving your instructions,

it's, uh, desirable
if you can smile quite a lot.

We stress this
in most of our programs.

People know that
at the end of a hard day,

they can come home,
turn on channel ,

and see a smile.

Of course.

Now, as you see, we'll have
two cameras on you.

Which ever one is showing
the little red lights

that's the one you're supposed
to address at that moment.

It gives us different angles.

Look toward the one
with the little red lights...

Exactly.

...and smile.

That's right.

Well, I guess that's about it.

I'll be down later.

And good luck.

Thank you.

I got it turned on.

Good.

We'll eat supper after the show.

It's all cooked.

I've got it warming in the oven.

What is it?
A surprise.

I think it's starting.

And now we present channel 's
newest program

"the Mayberry chef,"
with miss bee Taylor.

If you're not already familiar
with miss Taylor's ability

and her knowledge of cooking,

you soon will be.

Each evening at this time,
she will bring you

one of her favorite recipes
and show you how to prepare it.

So, without any further ado,

"the Mayberry chef"
miss bee Taylor.

Thank you, Mr. Sable.

Good evening...

Oh, good evening.

Now, uh, I'm going
to prepare a beef casserole

which has always been
one of my favorite dishes.

And I hope, after tonight
it will be one of yours.

Now, I have all the ingredients
right before me,

and I'll show you how
to prepare it.

And in addition,

I have a beef casserole
in the warming oven.

That will show you
what it looks like

when it's all finished.

What's she so happy about?

Now, to the beef stock

we add
just a little onion salt...

Just a little black pepper...

And just a pinch, just a pinch
of bay leaf.

Now, we stir all that up
until it's mixed well.

And for stirring, we just use
a large, ordinary wooden spoon.

Well, we can't do the stirring
till we find the stirrer.

Well, I know
I brought it from home.

It's around here some place.

I don't know, Charlie,
I don't know.

I can't imagine
what I did with it.

That should be a lesson to us

to keep our utensils
readily handy.

Why is she turning around
like that?

Must be a technical problem.

It's very inconvenient
to look for utensils

when you're in the middle

of preparing any dish
whatsoever.

Now, let's see.

I know it must be
here some place.

Oh.

Wait, wait, wait.

Get back!
Get back!

Here it is!

Here it is.

I knew it.

I knew I brought it from home.

Wow, that was a close one.

Stir this up,

and when we get it
thoroughly mixed

we'll add the chunks of beef
about an inch square

that have been marinating
overnight.

Now, this has to be well mixed.

Smooth, smooth...

Smooth.

And here we have
the finished product.

And I think that will satisfy
the most demanding husband.

And tomorrow night,
chicken in a pot.

Good night, all.

And don't forget to tune in
tomorrow night...

Well, outside
of losing the spoon,

I thought she did real good.

I did, too.

I thought she
came across real fine.

That beef casserole
sure looked good.

Yeah, didn't it?

Well, want to eat?

Yeah, I'm starved.

Okay, come on.

Okay, sit right down there.

I'll bring your supper
right to you.

Good old supper.

Supper, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

It, uh...

Got burnt just a little.

Yeah, it-it did.

A little.

How is it?

Fine.

What is it?

Corned beef hash.

That's what I thought.

Hello.

Hello, aunt bee.

Yeah, you were
great, just great.

Yeah, pa liked it, too.

Well, I'm glad, Opie.

What did Mrs. Parkins fix you
and your father for supper?

What did she fix us?

Uh...well, she, uh...

It-it was real different.

Hi, pa.

Oh, hi, ope.

Aunt bee send you
to the post office again?

Yeah. Fan mail's
still coming in,

and she answers every letter.

The show's going great.

If it keeps up like this week...


Yeah.

Yeah.

Anything wrong?

No. Nothing's wrong.

Nothing at all.

Well, would you be interested
in telling me what's not wrong?

Well...

I'm real glad
aunt bee's show is successful.

I know you are.

Yeah.

She's...very happy with it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Uh...

She's-she's real happy with it.

Opie, we can keep going
around like this,

or you can just tell me
what's wrong.

Food, pa. Food.

Well, you're getting
plenty to eat.

Yeah,

and not that there's anything
wrong with your cooking.

I mean, I know
that it's all nutritious

and everything.

But what?

Couldn't we go out
to the diner one night?

I'll pay for it.

That's not the point.

If anybody sees us in there,
the word will get around

there is no miss parkins
cooking for us,

and aunt bee will find out.

Yeah. I guess so.

Yeah.

We'll come up
with somebody eventually,

but till we do,
we'll have to manage.

Okay.

Okay.

I'll be home early
and fix supper,

and I'll pick up something
on the way.

Maybe you can get something
that's already made up

so you don't have to do
anything to it.

I'll see.

Hey, Andy!

Oh, hi, goob.

Marketing, huh?

Oh, uh...

Still got that woman
cooking for you?

Oh, yeah, she's great.

She's really just great.

You know, sometimes it's
hard to tell about tomatoes.

What do you mean?

I mean, from the outside

it's hard to tell
if they're ripe.

That one's got
a nice color to it.

Yeah.

It's got a good shape.

Yeah. It's not easy
to judge these things.

No.

What you have to do

is just pick out some
and hope for the best.

That's all you c do, Andy.

I'll see you.

Oh, hello, Andy.

Oh, hi. You still here?

I'll be going in a minute.

Andy, are you
doing the marketing?

Oh, well, miss parkins said

she'd be a little late tonight,

so I said I'd do it.

You know, she's not
keeping this kitchen

as immaculate as I like it.

Well, bless her heart,
she's getting on in years,

but I think she's
just doing fine.

Oh, well, good.

Well, I guess I'd
better be going.

Okay.

Hi, aunt bee.

Oh, hi, Opie.

Is everything going
all right with you?

Great. Great.

Well, guess I'd better go.

Okay. Bye.

Have a good show.

What kind of can are you
going to open tonight, pa?

Whatever it is, it'll be good.

I'm taking some of those
vitamins we had upstairs

just to be on the safe side.

Well, that can't hurt.

When do you think
it'll be ready?

Oh, about an hour and a half.

Maybe we'll eat during the show.

Okay.

I think I'll go up
and take some more vitamins.

The soup wasn't bad, was it?

No, it was real filling.

Cut your finger again, pa?

Scratch.

How's the tuna salad?

Well, it's not b*rned.

Fine.

And once again,
your Mayberry chef...

Miss bee Taylor.

Good evening.

Now, I've always felt

that food that looks good
tastes good,

and when a man
comes home from work,

he likes to see
an attractive meal

and a well-set table.

Now, tonight
we're going to prepare

an old-fashioned
juicy rib roast.

And if you'll watch carefully,

you'll see how I start
the preparations.

First we make little holes

to put in the garlic
and the spices.

Now, just watch.

What you put in this?

A few odds and ends I
thought might pick it up.

Eat your tomato.

It's dry.

I'll take some more
vitamins later.

And that's how we do it.

Then we'll put pepper
and salt on it

and put it in the oven
at degrees,

and then we'll just wait

till it turns into
a tender, luscious roast

that'll just melt in your mouth.

Mmm.

Another bowl, Opie.

Thanks.

Opie, this Mrs. Parkins

who cooks your
suppers for you...

What kind of a woman is she?

Well, she's, uh...
She's a real hard worker.

She's a great cook.

She's young.

Young?

That's funny, I was
under the impression

she was along in years.

No, she's young, like I said.

Good morning.

Oh, good morning, Andy.

Sit down.

I'll get your breakfast.

Andy.

Mm

This Mrs. Parkins.

You know, I'm not
at all satisfied

with the way she
keeps this kitchen.

It's always messy.

I wonder, would it be
possible to tell her

that she's not needed anymore?

Uh, well, y...
I-I suppose.

Because I have
this other woman in mind.

I just happened
to hear about her,

and she's a wonderful cook.

She'll keep the
kitchen immaculate,

and I'd feel much
better about it.

I'm for her.

Uh, well, if-if you think

that's the thing
to do, uh, okay.

Then we'll tell
Mrs. Parkins?

Oh, yes.

Good. Then we'll have
this other lady here

in time for your supper tonight.

Now that we're changing,
I guess I can say it.

I sure will be glad
to get rid of Mrs. Parkins.

This lady aunt bee got
is supposed to be here now?

Yeah. Supposed to be
a great cook.

Good.

Looks like
your suffering's over.

Hey, she showed up.

Oh, boy.

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm sheriff Taylor,
and this is my son, Opie.

Hello, sheriff Taylor.

Hello, Opie.

Aunt bee.

We thought you were that woman

you were getting.

Well, I am
the woman I'm getting.

I'm the new cook.

Uh, but, uh...

Oh, Andy, there are
more important things

in my life
than fame and fortune,

and if I'm going to go
completely gray

worrying about what you and Opie
have for supper,

it's just not worth it.

I'll get wrinkles
and all that sort of thing.

You two go on up and get washed.

In minutes you'll have one
of my world-famous rib roasts.

Well, what about your program?

Well, like Sarah bernhardt,

I'll be retiring
at the height of my career.

Go on, go on. Wash up.

So, she really ain't gonna be
on the program no more?

That's right.

Well, I can go back to watching
"Rudolph rabbit" then.

What made her quit the show,
Andy?

Oh, I don't think
you'd understand, goob.

Got tired of it?

Not really.

Too much work?

Not that, either.

Worried about you and ope?

Missing the things
she's used to.

You know, goob,

sometimes you really
get a line on things.

Yeah, sometimes.
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