Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway (2021)

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: Once upon a time,
on a beautiful country day,

the birds weren't singing,
the fish weren't jumping,

and there was not
a hopping rabbit to be found,

for everyone was gathered

to celebrate
two very special people

at what can only be described
as a storybook wedding.

[WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS"
PLAYING]

[BOTH SIGH]

[GUESTS MURMURING]

Aw.

[SNIFFLING]

I promised myself

I wouldn't cry.

Well, that was dumb.

[WOMEN SIGHING]

Hello.

- Aw. Ah.
- Ah!

Hi. Heh.

Hello.

Welcome, friends.
We are gathered here today

to join Bea and Thomas
in holy matrimony.

You're taking this so well.

He's a good man.
Makes her happy.

And also a special day
for their family,

the beloved rabbits.

Your former enemy
is here to stay.

We found common ground.

He's about to be our guardian.

Nah, this is just
a little something between them.

The old you would have gone
bonkers-berserk by now.

- I've changed, cousin.
- ...welcoming a new parent.

A loaded hand grenade,
just waiting to explode.

- Not anymore.
- A father, if you will.

- Father?
- [CLICKS]

Father.

[WHISTLING]

You're not my father!

[MIMICS expl*si*n]

- [GRUNTING]
- [GUESTS GASPING]

- [RABBITS GRUNTING]
- [GROWLS]

[GROANING]

[GUESTS SCREAMING]

♪ Lying there in the sun
All things to everyone ♪

♪ Run, run away ♪

[SNORTING]

[YELLS]

[GUESTS CLAMORING]

♪ Run, run away, hey! ♪

♪ If you're in the swing ♪

- [GRUNTS]
- [GROANS]

- Hm.
- Aah! Aah! Ah!

- [SCREAMING]
- [GUESTS GASPING]

You'll never be my father!

And everyone
can see your underpants!

- Hm.
- BENJAMIN: Peter. Peter.

Peter.

- Peter, the ring.
- Wha...?

[MUSIC SLOWS TO A STOP]

Right, right.

Where'd I put...? Did I...?

Was it...? No, was it...?

Hang on. I had it in the...

Ah!

[CHUCKLES]

It's always in
the last place you look.

You only have two pockets.

You may now kiss the groom.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[GUESTS CHEERING, APPLAUDING]

- [SIGHS]
- [SNIFFLING, SOBBING]

Huh?

What?

[BEA & THOMAS CHUCKLING]

♪ Ooh, yeah... ♪

[GUESTS CHEERING]

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

BEA & THOMAS:
Bye!

Bye!

- Bye.
- We'll miss you.

♪ Oh, oh
She's not there no more... ♪

NARRATOR: So Bea and
Mr. McGregor were married,

and off they went
on their honeymoon.

Things couldn't have been
more peaceful in Windermere

until, sometime later...

[BABY CRYING]

You just take this out.

[DOLL CRYING]

You see?

Now you try.

Dad, it's Peter Rabbit
from the book.

Oh, I hate
that I'm the face of this.

But every story can only have
one good guy, so...

Peter doesn't have a dad.
He got put in a pie.

- That's why he's so naughty.
- What?

And there's Flopsy, Mopsy
and Cotton-Tail.

- I'm Flopsy.
- And I'm Mopsy.

And I'm the hero.
But I'm not naughty.

- Did this kid even read the book?
- Did you read the book?

- I am so busy.
- Ah.

I'm saving it for summer.

- Are you the author?
- I'm still getting used

to people calling me that.

It's really the rabbits' story.

I just wrote it down.

This is my husband.
He's our publisher.

I wouldn't say "publisher."

I just, uh...
I just do the typesetting,

turned our dining room
into a printing workshop,

created the lithography
with a five-color palette

for the illustrations,
apart from ones of the garden,

- which call for more green.
- Don't reveal all your secrets.

Well, it's wonderful. You paint
the rabbits with such love.

Well, it comes naturally.
It's our family.

Thanks for your contribution.

It goes directly
to preserving their land.

- Thank you.
- Bye.

Bye.

[KNOCKING]

MOIRA:
Afternoon!

Congratulations, you two.

- Thanks, Moira.
- Oh, the mail.

Choose to see who gets it.

Chest. Toe. Chest.

Ears.
Tail.

Oh!
Yes!

How does he always win?

Because he invented the game.

- Peter? Is that you?
- Johnny?

What are you doing
out of London?

We're up here doing
some cheese tasting.

[SNIFFS]

Heard about the wedding.

- Any babies yet?
- Only been a month.

Oh, the wife and I have had
kids in that time.

This is the first day
away from them,

and, oh, the peace and quiet.

But I'd be lying if I said
we didn't miss them terribly

and they're all we talk about.

Aw, cute.

But there's no babies.
We're their family.

Until you're not.

Ah! Congratulations on the book,
by the way.

My kids absolutely loved it.

Oh, it's not about me.

It's just great
that kids get to read

about positive role models
like me.

[GRUNTS]

- Peter!
- Ah!

[GASPS, GRUNTS]

Oh, dear. My cheese.

Well, good luck.

BEA: I'm sure it was
just an accident.

It's not an accident.

It's what he does.

He never behaves.

He loves you.
Don't listen to him.

He doesn't listen to me.
That's the problem.

[WHISPERING]
Not in front of him.

He can't understand me. Can he?

No, but still, just...

So if he can't understand me,

why can't I say whatever
it is that I want to say?

[WHISPERED OVERLAPPING ARGUING]

Just say something nice.

Say something nice.
Now! Go! Say it!

- I'm terribly sorry.
- Out loud!

[NORMALLY]
I'm sorry, Peter. I love you,

in the way that
an adult human loves a...

- An animal rabbit.
- Thank you.

- [TOY TRAIN HORN WHISTLING]
- [SMOOCHES]

You handled that
very well, Peter.

Contrite, apologetic and even
a little bit remorseful.

I'm sorry. What? Oh.

I put these in for
when I'm feeling misunderstood.

Oh, come on, Peter. Sometimes
you have to face the music.

And these are for when
I'm feeling ganged up on.

You always take things
one step too far.

I'm sorry. What?

What's this?
Basil-Jones Publishing.

We carried a section
of their books at Harrods.

It was the last display
I arranged before I resigned.

You mean, fired and physically
removed from the store.

Potato, "potahto."

It's from
Nigel Basil-Jones himself.

He wants to publish my book.

- No.
- Uh, get it in every bookstore,

promote it,
put it in different languages.

That's incredible.
Bea, you've done it.

This is it. It's happening!

[BEA & THOMAS LAUGHING]

Promise me something.

When this book
is a huge success,

you'll keep me humble.

- The book is about all of us.
- Oh! Thank you.

You're already doing it.

Dink!

[♪♪♪]

[HUMMING]

Why do you always copy

everything I do?

Fine. I'll do
something different.

- Ow!
- Ooh, sorry.

- Anyone hungry?
- Yeah, starving.

PETER:
Leave it with me.

[FLIES BUZZING]

[GRUNTS]

Okay, take one bite
and pass it around.

I'm just going to wait
until we get home,

where the food
isn't decomposing.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, me too.

Well, la-di-da.

I didn't realize I was
with a bunch of sophisticates.

[GAGS]

[GAGS]

[RETCHES]

[BRAKES SCREECHING]

- MOPSY: Let's go get some dinner.
- RABBITS: Yeah! Woo-hoo!

[PANTING]

THOMAS:
And there they go.

Right through the opening

where there once was a gate.

Good for them.
Do they do any of the planting

and weeding and watering?
No, they don't.

- But they were here first.
- BEA: Exactly.

And you still have
your tomatoes.

- My tomatoes.
- Heh-heh.

I would never have thought
a city man

would like to garden that much.

I even heard he wants to try
and sell them at market.

Hm, it's too moist.
I'll get the hair dryer.

It's about time he had a hobby.

I hope he's as successful at his
as I am at mine.

And what is that?

Passing judgment.

What is going on with her hair?

[BOTH PANTING]

Wait! You don't have to try
to eat me anymore.

Remember? You're welcome
to all of this.

Right, right, right.
Still getting used to that.

I have so much energy. I think
it's this new plant-based diet

and that I don't
have to chase you anymore.

I'm just like, aah!

Hm. Have you tried jogging?

- What's jogging?
- It's running

without a terrified animal
in front of you.

- Think that'll work?
- I'm desperately hoping so.

There you go, sweeties.

- [SLURPING]
- [LAUGHS]

Hey.

I can't believe this might
actually turn into something.

[PHONE RINGING]

THOMAS:
I'll get it!

[SIGHS]

BEA:
It might be the publisher!

Peter, you know
not to touch this stuff.

Honestly, my kids will be
so much better behaved.

- Hm.
- Hello?

[♪♪♪]

Miss you, Dad.

No one gets me the way you did.

Bea, Bea, it is.
It's the publisher.

[TOMMY GRUNTING SOFTLY]

- BEA: Hello.
- Ah!

BEA:
Yes, this is she.

[SNIFFING]

No! Tommy!

Those are Mr. McGregor's.

Well, but you used to steal
from him all the time.

We share the garden now.

Oh, because he married the lady,
you do what he says now?

No, not because of that.

Well, kind of because of that.
It's...

Look, just don't touch
the tomatoes, badger.

- Oh, okay.
- Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

[GROANS]

Ah.

[GRUNTS]

- Ah.
- Ugh.

Uh... Ah...

Uh? Ah? Um...

- And?
- Oh, ugh!

[GROANING]

I swear, if it wasn't for me...

Thank you. Oh, you're very...
You're very kind.

Mm-hm.
The : train to Gloucester?

Yeah, we should be able
to make that.

- [GASPS]
- [GASPS]

I knew it! I saw you! Ugh!

- Get out! Get out of my garden!
- Oh! Huh?

The rabbits would
love to come.

It'd be such a fun adventure.

I knew you wouldn't change.

You're the same
naughty rabbit...

- Thanks. Bye.
- ...you've always been!

Just leave my tomatoes alone!
You have everything else!

See? I've told him
a million times.

- He doesn't listen to me.
- Go easy on him.

He's getting used to the idea
that you're here to stay.

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Huh?

Huh?

Yeah. You can use
your front legs too.

Oh, right, right, right,
right, right.

[GRUNTING SOFTLY]

[SIGHS]

[TRAIN HORN BLOWS]

[♪♪♪]

[ALL GASPING]

- Wow, is this all for us?
- That's what the ticket said.

Only the best
for the next big thing.

BEA:
Oh, what do we have here?

[RABBITS LAUGHING,
GRUNTING EXCITEDLY]

Hm?

[SNIFFS]

[GASPS]

[GASPS EXCITEDLY]

[SQUEALS, LAUGHS]

BEA: "Enjoy the journey.
It's just the beginning."

A bit presumptuous, isn't it?

"Forgive me
for being presumptuous."

- He's good.
- Hm.

As someone who's been on a train
before, a few pointers.

Don't stare at the scenery
rushing by.

Look at a fixed point
on the horizon

and just lock your eyes
onto that.

[FLOPSY & MOPSY GROAN]

Mm? Oh.

[FLOPSY & MOPSY GROANING]

You okay?

When you're on a train,
the best thing is to look

at a fixed point on the horizon.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[MUNCHING LOUDLY]

Oh, no. Ha-ha-ha!

Oh! Magic, magic, magic.

Magic!

Oh, no. Cotton-Tail
just discovered sugar.

Hey, we had a good run.

Ha-ha! "Lavatory."

[LAUGHING]

Hm?
Huh?

I'm gonna live forever!

[PETER & BENJAMIN GASP]

Oh...

Told you!

- [ALL YELL]
- [LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]

[COTTON-TAIL LAUGHING]

Thank you.

Do you know what happens
after you eat too much sugar?

That.

Come on, sweeties.

- Please come in.
- Oh.

There they are.

- Hello.
- Bea.

You're even lovelier

- than I imagined.
- Oh!

- Thomas.
- Hello.

- Handsome devil.
- Well...

I'm sure I'm one of many
b*ating down your door,

begging to publish
your next book.

Yes, well, so many.

In fact, we don't have
a door anymore.

It's been beaten
off its hinges.

[ALL LAUGHING]

And the stars themselves,

with Peter, the ringleader.

Always out front. Sweet.

I'm not your leader.
I'm not always out front.

You come here.
Benjamin, swing out a little.

Mops, back it up to your right.
Flopsy, you come this way.

Benjamin, Mops,
split the difference.

There you go. You'll slot here.
I'll go here, and...

[GROANS]

If you'll allow me to gush,

the book is
absolutely exquisite.

- A triumph.
- Oh, I'll allow you. Heh.

"What greater gift
than the love of a rabbit."

- Charles Dickens.
- Yes.

Well, he said "a cat."
You obviously knew that.

Of course. I love Dickens.

- Know every word he's written.
- You do?

- Mm-hm.
- No, you don't.

- I do.
- I don't think so.

[ALL LAUGH]

- Strong.
- Yeah.

- You box?
- Yeah, no, I...

Yeah, I do. I do box.

- You do?
- Yep.

- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.

- When?
- I flop the heavy ropes.

I move the heavy metal bars.
I've got those balls of sand.

I do push-ups outside in
the thing with my shirt off.

And I also like
protein ointments.

We should get
in the ring sometime.

Yeah. That's not a problem.

- Now, I'd like to walk you...
- Sorry.

...through our strategy.

Carlos, some water
for our rabbits.

Bea, sit right here.

Sparkling and still.

[BOTH GASP]

- Wow!
- Ooh, fancy.

[BOTH SLURPING, GAGGING]

It's like drinking sand.

I like it. It's delicious.

You're saying that
to be different.

- Am not.
- Drink some more, then.

- [INHALES SHARPLY]
- [GASPS]

Blech, it's amazing.

- [GASPS]
- [BELCHES LOUDLY]

[GROANS]

So we want to start
by printing

copies of your book.

- Wow.
- Five thousand?

I assume you want to write

a second one?

I hadn't really
thought about it, but...

I don't know, I guess
I do have a brief framework

for a -book series

featuring characters
based on the animals in my life,

creating a narrative about
morality, nature and family,

set in the fields and towns
around our farm.

Fantastic.

Fantastic. Fantastic.

Because it's in your next book
that we see huge potential.

- Fantastic.
- Fantastic.

- Fantastic.
- Fantastic.

I don't trust this guy.

We've done some research
on your book.

Now, people liked the story
and the setting,

but what they really loved
were the rabbits.

In the second book, we want to
emphasize their individuality.

"Benjamin, the wise one."

"Cotton-Tail, the firecracker."

This guy is good.

"Flopsy and Mopsy,
the dynamic duo."

- Why are we always treated...?
- As a unit?

- But we do...
- Look good.

- And then, finally, Peter.
- What?

I get one? This is crazy.

We have two options for him.

I get two?

- "The mischief maker." Or...
- Mm.

[IN DEEP VOICE]
"The bad seed."

Nope. And he was doing
so well too.

That one. That's the one.
You've nailed it.

- What?
- It's our favorite too.

- Really speaks to his character.
- No, it doesn't.

"The bad seed" seems harsh,
don't you think?

Well, he is a bit
of a brat, really.

Even according to your own book,

he nearly broke you two up
and destroyed his family.

He's a little mischievous, but
he doesn't mean anything by it.

- Exactly. Thank you.
- I did catch him yesterday

trying to steal
one of my tomatoes.

No, no, no. I was making sure
no one stole your tomatoes.

I also imagine his voice
to be annoying.

[HIGH-PITCHED]
What?!

My voice isn't annoying, right?

I have something to show you.

Here's how much we want
to do this with you.

[GASPS]

BEA:
Oh, my goodness.

[NIGEL & THOMAS CHUCKLING]

COTTON-TAIL, MOPSY & FLOPSY:
Whoa!

My ears are gigantic.

Peter really looks
like a villain.

- NIGEL: Every story needs one.
- I'm not a villain.

That's not an accurate
reflection of any of us.

It's like
I'm looking in a mirror.

- BEA: I love it.
- What?

I think it's terrific.

Oh, it's incredible.

NIGEL: It must be so precious
to see your family up there.

BEA:
It's my dream come true.

[CONVERSATION CONTINUES
INDISTINCTLY]

[SIGHS]

BEA:
They look amazing!

♪ I walk a lonely road ♪

♪ The only one
That I have ever known ♪

♪ Don't know where it goes ♪

[GROANS]

♪ But it's home to me ♪

♪ And I walk alone ♪

[FOOTSTEPS SLOSHING]

Oh, come on.

[GRUNTING]

[MUFFLED MUTTERING]

♪ Where the city sleeps ♪

♪ And I'm the only one
And I walk alone ♪

[GROANS]

♪ I walk alone
I walk alone ♪

Of course you'd be singing
that song.

I can sing something else
if you like.

Suit yourself.

♪ Sometimes I wish ♪

♪ Someone out there
Will find me ♪

- ♪ Till then I walk alone ♪
- Mm?

[SQUIRREL VOCALIZING
"BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS"]

[GRUNTS]

What you looking at, son?

Never seen anyone
steal something before?

You some kind of goody-goody?

I'm no goody-goody.

In fact, apparently, I'm bad.

Yeah, I've made some mistakes,
which is what I thought

kids are supposed to do, right?
Learn, grow, evolve.

But I guess, for this rabbit,
the die is cast.

And you know what?
I don't care anymore.

Oh, good for you, son.

But if I can
just suggest one thing,

next time you meet a grizzled
old thief on the street,

maybe don't open up so much.

- Sorry.
- No, I like it.

It's just, out here,
not everyone's

- as emotionally evolved as I am.
- Ah.

Name's Barnabas.
Nice to meet you.

- Peter.
- Take a peach.

You said
you weren't a goody-goody.

No. I'm no goody-goody.

I'm a baddy-baddy.

[GRUNTING SOFTLY]

- SHOPKEEPER: Oy!
- Oh, no.

- Come on.
- I've had it with you rats!

I hate when
they call us rodents.

- Come back here!
- PETER: And when they try

and hit us with a broom.
That is not what a broom is for!

SHOPKEEPER:
Get out of my shop!

- [YELLS]
- [GRUNTS]

Oh, I've had it with you rats!

[GROANS]

You owe me a peach, son.

Lucky I had
this safe house nearby.

- Where you from?
- None of your business, old man.

What?

Uh, well, you told me
not to open up.

Ha, now you're learning,

but, uh, also,
I am genuinely curious.

I'm from the country,
on a farm, near a pond.

Really? Where'd you get
that jacket?

It looks just like one
my old friend used to have.

It was my dad's.

- [MAILMAN WHISTLING]
- [SHUSHING]

We got to go.

[RABBITS GRUNTING]

[♪♪♪]

Oof!

You okay, son?

Yeah. I'm fine.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Did you just wink at me?

- Oh, um, sorry.
- No, no.

The only other rabbit
I knew who could wink

was my friend from the country,
and he lived next to a pond.

Wait a minute. That farmer,
his name isn't McGregor, is it?

- Yeah.
- Are you Peter Rabbit?

- Yeah.
- I can't believe it.

My old friend,

- I think he was your dad.
- Oh!

MAILMAN:
They're in the recycling bin!

- Ah! What do we do?
- We have some fun.

[♪♪♪]

- SHOPKEEPER: There you are!
- MAILMAN: Ugh!

- How is this fun?
- Because they actually believe

- they have a chance.
- Okay.

- [LAUGHING]
- [BLOWS RASPBERRY]

♪ Yeah, I came to play
Hey, hey ♪

♪ Get the competition
Out the way ♪

[PETER LAUGHING]

Should this be
in paper or plastic?

No one really knows.

♪ I just can't
Control it tonight ♪

♪ My feet go from left
To the right ♪

♪ I just can't
Control it tonight ♪

♪ My feet go from left
To the right ♪

♪ My lips keep on going
Up and down, hey... ♪

[LAUGHS, GROANING]

- SHOPKEEPER: Got you!
- Aah!

What do we do now?

[GROANING]

[GRUNTS]

[CHUCKLES]

[GASPS, SHOUTS]

- You're right! That was fun.
- Yeah.

And there's a lot more of that
around every corner.

[PETER CHUCKLES]

MAN:
Got you!

[♪♪♪]

Now, come on.

Get in there, rabbit.

[♪♪♪]

Who are these people?
Where are they taking us?

Stay calm, son.

I won't let anything
happen to you.

[PANTING]

NIGEL:
And here.

And there.

- Mm-hm.
- Here.

And that's a fingerprint.

I just need to say something.

My book is very personal
to me,

and I don't want it
to be compromised.

I'd be spinning in my grave
if it was ever adapted

into some sassy hip-fest,
purely for commercial gain,

probably by an American.

Mm-hm.

I give you my word

that I will be
your ferocious guardian,

a fortress between your art

and all who wish
to boorishly capitalize on it.

- Let's do it. Ha-ha!
- Hurrah!

ALL:
Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

I'm telling you,
this guy's garbage.

Of course,
making it more contemporary

would increase the readership

and benefit
your preservation fund

by, say, putting the rabbits
in high-tops and T-shirts?

ALL:
Huh?

But you're a purist.
I respect that.

Sir, Marvin Stuart's outside
for you.

Ah, Marvin.

One of our authors.

[WHISPERS]
Marvin Stuart.

Hi, Marvin. I'll be right down.

We bought him that car
when his book hit number one.

BEA & THOMAS:
Mm.

Marvin made a picture book

about butterflies.

Gorgeous, elegant.

You could hang it in a museum.
Sold copies.

I made a small suggestion.

Sold million copies.

That's more than Dickens.

- Where's Peter?
- I'm starting to get worried.

- This is not like him.
- The last time I saw him,

we were staring
at the billboard.

ALL:
Ah, the billboard.

But seriously,
where is Peter?

[♪♪♪]

[SHOP BELL JINGLES]

You got two this time.
Nice one.

MOTHER:
Well, I don't know why I'm here.

Ah! I want that one.

He's just like Peter
from that book Nana gave me.

Aw, they want to go together.

Can I get this one too,
Mum, please?

They look like father and son.

More like
"before" and "after."

They're so filthy.

[SIGHS]

All right, then. Go on.

Honestly, I don't know
how you like those things.

They're just vermin.

AMELIA:
Liam, we've got two rabbits!

LIAM:
Yay!

This next part might get
a little bumpy,

but it's actually quite fun.

MOTHER: Don't touch them
until they've had their sh*ts!

They probably have the plague.

[BARNABAS & PETER GRUNT]

I'm naming mine
Monkey Boo-Boo Face.

Mine's Mrs. Cottage Cheese.

♪ That's not my name
That's not my name ♪

[PETER & BARNABAS YELL]

Aren't you a good rabbit?

♪ I'm the last chick standing ♪

♪ Up against the wall... ♪

[BOTH YELLING]

Hello. Hello. Hello.

[LIAM LAUGHING]

This is so humiliating.

Here, try this.

Much better. Thanks.

♪ That's not my name
That's not my name ♪

Uh-oh! Oh, oh, oh!

[BOTH YELLING]

MOTHER: Let's go, kids!
We're off to Grandma's.

LIAM: Won't they feel
scared in the dark, Mum?

MOTHER: They're animals.
They don't have feelings.

This is what it's like
to be a pet?

Ah, the kids mean well,
but that mum's a real monster.

[GRUNTING]

What do we do now?

We go to work.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS, SIGHS]

[GRUNTING]

[DOOR CREAKING]

[PANTING]

[QUIET CLATTERING IN DISTANCE]

[SNIFFING]

Hm?

[GRUNTING QUIETLY]

Jackpot.

- [GASPS]
- [SIGHS]

Get a bag, son.
They're always under the sink.

Ah.

[GRUNTS, YELLS]

I... I'll just go ahead
and use the handle.

Putting tomatoes in the fridge.

And they call us animals.

Ooh! Oh! I get it.

You wanted to get caught.

You wanted to, oof, get taken
to the pet shop.

You wanted to get adopted so
you could take their food. Oh!

This is the McGregor's garden
of the city.

It's how we survive out here.

Really? Are they all like this?

Nah. It's usually
just takeout containers

and a bottle of champagne
they're saving

for a special occasion
that will never come.

Oh, that's so sad.

Yeah, it's really sad.

- Hm.
- Hm...

Anyway, let's steal
some more stuff, yeah?

[♪♪♪]

Whoa.

Whoa.

[GASPS]

[SIGHS]

[STEAM HISSING]

Wait, we're stealing from kids?

Only the stuff
they'll never eat.

Why do parents
put it in there?

So teachers won't judge them.

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

Mm. Mighty nice haul, son.

- How do we get it out of here?
- Job's worth nothing

without a good pickup crew.

[WHISTLES]

Meet the crew.

Samuel Whiskers,
oldest thief in the city.

They ain't even his whiskers.

- He stole them.
- Heh-heh-heh.

Tom Kitten.
He don't say much,

but when he does, you're glad
he don't say much.

Can we come in now?
I'm freezing my catnip off.

And his sister, Mittens.
The brains.

Always keeps us on track.

Enough with the introductions.
Get on with it.

- Eh, storage room?
- Second door to the right.

- Coatroom?
- Third door to the left.

- Bathroom?
- I told you to go

before you came.

- End of the hall.
- Thank you.

So how do we get
this stuff out of here?

[♪♪♪]

[ALL GRUNTING]

PETER:
Is this really gonna work?

MITTENS:
A well-dressed man

can get away
with anything in this world.

And if he's got a baby with him,
he can go anywhere.

Three weeks ago,
we rang the opening bell

at the stock exchange.

- [BELL CLANGING]
- [PEOPLE CHEERING]

Why did you want to do that?

Because we could.

SAMUEL:
Okay.

Oh, Howard, where have you been?

I need you to help me get rid
of those filthy rabbits

before the children come home.

Have you gotten even shorter?

[YELLS, GASPS]

- [ALL YELLING]
- [YELLS]

MOTHER:
You little beasts!

[ALL GRUNTING]

- Come on.
- What about all the food?

- We're just gonna leave it?
- Better to live

to see another day, kid.

MOTHER: I'm going to
exterminate you little demons.

- See you.
- Laters.

No, wait. I know how to deal

with cranky humans
who hate our guts.

You lead her to the kitchen.
I'll take care of her.

You meet me
back at the front door.

You can't hide from me,
you disgusting bags of disease.

- [YOWLS]
- [GASPING]

- ♪ Keep our teeth ♪
- Ha, ha, ha!

♪ Nice and clean... ♪

I'm gonna get you!

[YELLS]

[GRUNTING]

♪ Got some cash
Bought some wheels ♪

[GRUNTING, SHOUTING]

♪ Lost control
Hit a wall ♪

♪ But we're all right ♪

- [HAIR DRYER WHIRRING]
- [YELLING]

♪ Are we like you?
I can't be sure ♪

♪ Of the scene ♪

[YELLING]

BARNABAS:
Run!

♪ We run green ♪

[GRUNTING]

MOTHER:
Hey!

Get back here!

♪ And feel all right ♪

I can't believe
this is happening!

[GRUNTING]

[ALL GASPING]

♪ Lost control
Hit a wall ♪

[YELLS]

♪ But we're all right ♪

[GRUNTING]

♪ But we're all right ♪

Need that altered, madam?

You were amazing, kid. How'd
you know how to do all that?

It's a gift.
Terrible at foreign languages,

great at cartoon v*olence.

- Well, you did good, amigo.
- Sorry, I did good, a-what now?

This is the best take
we've had in a long time.

And we got Peter
to thank for it.

He's the kid, the kid!
Who's the kid? He's the kid.

- Come here, you. Come here, you!
- Ha, ha, ha!

Hello. Knock, knock. Ding-dong.

Word on the street is,
you had a nice little pickup.

- Get lost, Robinson.
- Okeydokey. Will do.

Hope I don't blab to anyone
about this though.

You know how I love to blab.

[CHUCKLING]

Take care of him, son.

Uh, sure. What can I get you?

We have cheese,
apples, champagne.

- "Congratulating..."
- No.

Take care of him.

What?

No, I was kidding, Barnabas.

I won't tell on you. I promise!

You got to make it tight.

The rabbit comes out
of the hole, round the tree,

- back down the hole.
- What are you doing? No, no.

- No.
- Ugh!

[ROBINSON YELLS]

- Hang on. Ow! That hurt, mate.
- Okay, son.

- Now take care of him.
- ROBINSON: No, no, no.

- Please stop.
- No, I don't...

He won't say anything. Right?

- No, no, I won't say nothing.
- I mean, I still feel bad

about what I did to that mom.

Freezer door,
champagne, hair dryer.

I thought that was a bit cruel.

Are you part of the g*ng or not?

Well, yeah, I'd like to be,
but I don't do this.

- Can't we just talk it out?
- Please, please!

No, no! Please!

We're kidding!

[ALL LAUGHING]

We were all
just playing with you.

You should've
seen your face, son.

No, I was kidding you,
so, ha-ha!

You're the ones
who should be wondering

whether there's a private space
you can go to,

to check
whether you've wet yourselves.

[ALL LAUGHING]

We share with our friends.

Besides, it's gonna go bad
before we can eat it all.

Pigs can fly!

Come on. Let's get some air.

♪ Three nights at the motel
Under streetlights... ♪

Oh, they were special times.

Food enough for everyone,
wide open spaces.

Until old McGregor came
and put that wall up.

We all thought it was the end
for us. But not your dad.

Now, the question is:
Was he stealing,

or was he just taking
what was already his?

Exactly. We were there first.

- It belonged...
- He was stealing.

- Oh.
- He was keeping your bellies full

the only way he could.

And he taught me
everything I know.

Fancy a treat?

♪ Three nights
At the motel... ♪

Wait here.

♪ In the city of Palms ♪

♪ Call me what you want
When you want, if you want ♪

♪ Don't waste a minute... ♪

- Coming at you!
- Aah!

Here you go, son.

Wow, that's so good.
What is this?

It's a potato.

What?!

Let me ask a question.
Is my voice annoying?

Yeah, it's a bit polarizing,
but I like it.

I love this place.
No one telling me I'm bad.

I really feel like I belong.

I wish I had more
just like you.

Then I could pull off the job

me and your dad
used to dream about.

- One that could feed us forever.
- BEA: Peter!

THOMAS:
Peter?

- Come on.
- BEA: Peter!

Peter! There you are.

BEA: Oh, Peter.
We've been looking all over for you.

Oh, thank goodness.
Are you okay?

He's fine. We have to hurry
to catch the last train.

Okay.

[VAMPIRE WEEKEND'S
"HARMONY HALL" PLAYING]

[CLICKS TONGUE]

BENJAMIN:
Peter, what happened to you?

We were starting
to get worried.

I just went for a walk.
Come on, let's go.

Is he all right?

Seems to be.

[SNORING]

♪ We took a vow in summertime ♪

♪ Now we find ourselves
In late December ♪

♪ Anger wants a voice... ♪

[THOMAS PANTING]

THOMAS:
Yes! Yes.

- What are you doing?
- Ooh! Doing some push-ups.

Oh, you just suddenly had
the urge to work out, did you?

Just suddenly had the urge
to read Dickens, did you?

You know
he's my favorite author.

Name another book by Dickens.

Do another push-up.

Okay.

[GRUNTING]

[WHIMPERING]

Oh, I'm stuck. I'm stuck.

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

Cock-a-doodle-do!

Wake up, kids! Wake up!
We have a job to do!

- What?
- Dad.

- Come on.
- We're tired.

But we have to make
the gigantic ball of fire

rise into the sky
so the earth gets warm

and life as we know it
can continue!

- What?
- For real?

That's a lot
of responsibility.

ALL:
Cock-a-doodle-do!

ALL [QUIETLY]:
Cock-a-doodle-do.

Now, feel free to peck around,

doing absolutely nothing
for the next hours.

[♪♪♪]

[BEA LAUGHING]

BENJAMIN: Ready to tell me
where you went yesterday?

- You had us all worried.
- No need to worry, cousin.

I was meeting someone
who may have changed my life.

[GASPS, GRUNTS]

You met a girl! Yes!
Tell me everything.

What's her name?
Mary? Scarlett? Josephine?

- Barnabas.
- Terrific.

- No, he's an old friend of Dad's.
- Wonderful.

- No! He's a thief.
- Oh.

Peter, you do not have
my blessing to kiss a thief.

Ugh, would you just let me
tell you my story?

[LAUGHING]

Race you, Flopsy.

- I am not Flopsy anymore.
- Hm?

I've changed my name to be
even different-er than you.

From now on, I'm Lavatory.

- Lavatory?
- Yes.

And I run on two legs now.

It's classier.

[GRUNTING SOFTLY]

BEA: Think how much of this
land we'll be able to preserve.

All the nature our children
will be able to explore.

- Check it out, sisters. Ah!
- Wait for me!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[LAUGHING]

THOMAS:
I never had a chance to do that.

Not much frolicking
in the orphanage.

Which is why I also picture
having some two-legged children

to frolic with.

Yeah, and they'd have
that whole mountain

if I painted the rabbits
in high-tops.

THOMAS:
And the whole valley

if you put them
in T-shirts and jeans.

BEA:
Yeah. Can you imagine?

- What's going on with her?
- Changed her name to "Bathroom."

Huh?

[GRUNTS, YELLS]

Aw.

Go on. Join them. Frolic.

- Really?
- Yeah.

THOMAS:
Like, lie down horizontally,

extend my legs, tuck in my arms,

and roll down the hill
safely and slowly?

- Yes, I could...
- Perhaps it's not for you.

Let's go have a cup of tea.

What do you mean,
it's not for me? It is for me.

- No?
- It is most assuredly for me.

I can frolic.
Don't think I can?

- I didn't say that.
- Madam, watch this.

Imagine me, right,

and our future children
frolicking.

- Mm-hm.
- All right? Watch.

Hey. See? Look, I'm frolicking.

Oh.

Whee!

[ALL GASP]

I'm speeding up a little.

- I'm speeding up quite a bit. Ow!
- Oh! Oh!

[SCREAMING]

Help! Help!

And that's why adults
shouldn't do kid stuff.

[SCREAMING]

I've been stealing
from this garden my whole life

and I was told I was wrong.

But now with Barnabas,

I know this is
what I'm supposed to do.

I'm supposed to be bad.

This Barnabas sounds
a bit dodgy.

No, he's not dodgy.
He gets me, like Dad did.

- And unlike him.
- Stay out of trouble.

See? He's had it out for me
since the day he got here.

He didn't say that to you.
It was to all of us.

I'm talking to you,
Peter, specifically.

Stay out of trouble.

And, anyway, our days
are numbered here.

You heard him today.

As soon as they have a baby,
we're done for.

Did you feel any less loved
when the girls were born?

It's different now.
All they think I am is naughty.

So I've embraced it.

- [SIGHS]
- [CAT YOWLS]

Look, Barnabas has a big job

that we can help with
and set us up for life

without having to rely on them.

- I don't know.
- Come on, girls.

We're going to Gloucester.

- Okay. Why not?
- You're going to Gloucester?

I'm running there tomorrow
for cardio day.

- Today's chest and arms.
- Come on, fox, keep going!

- You've got this.
- Ugh, my trainer.

Do I really need one?
Probably not.

Would I work out as hard
without one? Probably not.

♪ I need help ♪

[TRAIN HORN BLOWS]

♪ I need help ♪

[CLANGING]

- [YELLING]
- [WHOOPS]

- [PETER WHOOPS]
- [GROANING]

[ALL PANTING]

[GROANING]

SQUIRREL: ♪ I'm asking
you, please A little help ♪

♪ Tell me you'll be there
When I need somebody else ♪

How do you always know
what's going on with me?

Just lucky, I guess.

♪ I need help ♪

♪ I need help ♪

[ALL PANTING]

♪ I need help ♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

I brought some more
just like me.

Not all just like him.
I have some reservations.

SQUIRREL:
♪ I need help ♪

Well, look at you lot.
You've gotten so big.

Last time I saw you,
you were all babies.

Benjamin, Cotton-Tail,

- Flopsy, Mopsy.
- BOTH: Yes!

Well, it's "Lavatory" now,
but formerly, yes.

We're here to help on that
big job you were talking about.

Oh, no, no, no.
It's much too dangerous.

Okay, well,
thanks for your time.

Is there a taxi stand nearby?

[WHISTLING]

No, trust me.
We used to steal

from McGregor's garden
all the time.

This is much more different.
I'll never forgive meself

- if anything happened to you.
- No.

We can do
anything you need. Right?

If you need to get to
a high place, we're your team.

If you need us to be sneaky,
we can be invisible.

And if you need a distraction...

ALL: ♪ Down by the bay
Where the watermelons grow ♪

♪ Back to my home
I dare not go ♪

♪ For if I do
My mother will say: ♪

♪ "Did you ever see a goose
Kissing a moose?" ♪

Are these yours?

♪ Down by the bay ♪

[BEA & CUSTOMERS CHATTERING]

[SHOP BELL JINGLES]

And he's handy too.

Is there anything
this man can't do?

Ah, it's just a quick fix.

BEA: Thomas,
can I call the glass man now?

You've been at it for six hours.

[TOY TRAIN HORN BLOWS]

Bea, Nigel Basil-Jones is here.

Mr. Basil-Jones,
what a nice surprise.

Ha-ha-ha, there's my star.

- Is this a good time?
- "It's the best of times.

It's the worst of times."

Dickens.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

I couldn't wait
to show you this.

Ah! Oh, my goodness.

- THOMAS: That's incredible.
- Beautiful.

We've had
a tremendous early response,

and interest in your next book
is already through the roof.

- BEA: It's extraordinary.
- Huh.

- I have something for you too.
- Ah.

You can barely
tell the difference.

- You did it.
- It's brilliant.

Artistic, authentic,
uncompromising.

- Where is that?
- It's in our garden.

- Mm, a bit limited in scope, no?
- It's where they live.

I'm just thinking,
now that you've made changes,

you may want to expand it a bit,
make it more fun, exotic.

Maybe put them on a beach,
give them surfboards,

- those little baby guitars.
- Ukuleles?

- Yes! Great idea. You see?
- Ha-ha!

You take my silly suggestions
and make them so much better.

Genius!

They don't play ukuleles though.

And they don't go to the beach.
Right? I mean, they're rabbits.

Why can't they be rabbits
on the beach?

- Or a boat? Or a spaceship?
- A spaceship?

Readers just want
to be transported, Thomas.

Dickens.

Now, listen up.
This is a big job.

The biggest.

It's the kind of job
that if we pull off,

we won't have to worry about
feeding ourselves ever again.

But it comes
with a fair bit of risk.

Once every so often,

all the farmers
in the valley gather together.

- Get out of here!
- They're angry, nasty.

They want to get
their food off the land

just so we can't have it.

The sweetest corn,
the crunchiest carrots,

the ripest radishes.

[FARMER GRUNTS]

And they bring it all

to one central location,

right here in the city,

where they guard it

from dawn till dusk.

And that's
where we're gonna hit.

Must be really hard to break in.

Not a gate or a door in sight.

They wave you in with a smile.

- Come on in.
- Everybody's welcome.

- Won't they hear us?
- No.

There's a band playing
wildly mediocre folk music.

[PLAYING UPBEAT FOLK TUNE]

What if kids see us? Won't they
try and adopt us again?

In this place, they just
give you a little tickle.

And if you want an overpriced
gift that'll never be used...

MITTENS: They sell
lavender-scented bath bombs.

- Ten pounds.
- Oh.

What is this magical place?

They call it
the "farmers market."

Which Whiskers has meticulously
recreated here in this map.

Okay, so the thimbles
are fruits.

Spindles are vegetables.

The pincushion represents
the sun coverage

according to tomorrow's weather,
which I recorded

over a series of six weekends,
not including last Saturday,

which I deemed
unseasonably cloudy.

- Whiskers, no one cares!
- Oh, all right, fine!

[GRUNTS]

I hope
you guys aren't visual learners.

But the produce ain't
what we're after.

Any chump with a stump
can steal that.

What we want
is far more valuable.

Deep in the middle of all this,

across from the coconut water

and two down
from the wooden spoons,

are the crown jewels.

Our target: the dried fruit.

- Huh?
- Dried fruit? Ew.

- Why would you want that?
- Sounds gross.

[SNAPS]

Lasts forever,

and it's only
one-eighth the size

of a piece of fresh fruit.

But with the same
nutritional value.

It's easy to transport
and totally untraceable.

TOM:
Try that.

Yum!
That's so good.

Pfft, it's no jelly bean.

Hey! We don't
do that stuff here.

Get me, kid?
Junks up your noggin.

Problem is, the dried fruit is
in the center of the market,

surrounded by all the farmers.

SAMUEL: And the worst
thing about farmers,

they stick together,
protect each other.

BARNABAS:
And they are an evil army

evilly unified in evil.

But even if
we take care of them,

we've got to get past
the toughest one of all.

The dried fruit vendor herself,

Sara Nakamoto.

Never leaves her post,
no matter what.

But Sara Nakamoto
has one Achilles' heel.

And it's not
her actual Achilles' heel.

Her proverbial Achilles' heel is
the son of the cheesemonger

across the aisle,
William Pemberly.

He's the only one
who can get her attention.

So if we get to him,
he'll distract her,

and the dried fruit
will be ours.

- How do we get it out of there?
- Our old friend upstairs

comes to market every week,
just before it closes.

He always buys two sausages.

One for him
and one for his late wife.

It's a real love story,
actually.

They met as teenagers
at a jazz hall.

She was a hat-check girl.
He played the horn.

But their parents
didn't approve.

Whiskers!
Whiskers, stay focused.

Ugh! Why doesn't anyone
appreciate a good digression?

Know what they'll say
at your funeral?

"Great lady.
Always stayed on topic."

Anyway, we haul the loot
into the tailor's truck,

and he drives it
right back here for us, okay?

- [LAUGHING]
- [ALL CHEERING]

It all seems very complicated.

Which is why I said
I wish I had more like you.

- Have any friends back home?
- Yes, we have lots of friends.

- Can they be trusted?
- Um, there's a couple

I wouldn't let house-sit.

It doesn't matter.
Bring them all.

[MATT AND KIM'S
"COME TOGETHER NOW" PLAYING]

♪ Come together now ♪

Hm?

♪ Come together now
Square to a hexagon ♪

[GIGGLES]

♪ Pepsi, Coke
And then you mix a little ice ♪

♪ Street signs in camouflage ♪

[SHOUTS]

♪ Got no time to waste ♪

[LAUGHS]

♪ You're a mess ♪

[GRUNTING GOOFILY]

♪ Loosen up a bit
Flex and take the hit ♪

PETER:
Come on, Felix, let's go.

♪ Let's come together now ♪

Come on, Felix, let's go.

- Girls, go and get a flashlight.
- Okay.

♪ Come together now ♪

[ALL PANTING]

[GRUNTING]

All right, everyone.
I think these are ready

to sell at the farmers market.

I want honest opinions
from everyone. Right?

Don't hold back.
I need to know the truth, but...

only if it's good. Heh.

So really sock it to me.

But remember,
I'm wildly insecure.

- Hm.
- ALL: Mm-hm.

Oh, you've actually put them
on the beach.

BEA: Mm,
I'm just expanding our world.

You've expanded it

all the way to outer space.

Mm-hm. Nigel wants me to...

I know what Nigel wants.
Is it...?

Is it what you want?

It feels like you're jamming in
everything here in a way that...

- Jam jars.
- Pardon me?

For their space helmets.
It's perfect.

Just shove it on.
Little head, the ears down.

Show what it does to the face.
It's perfect.

- Oh...
- THOMAS: Nigel Basil-Jones.

Just because he's successful,
intelligent, charismatic,

eyes you could
lose an afternoon in...

[CHUCKLES, SNORTS]

He needs to hear from me.

You lot, stay out of trouble.

Although, I guess
I don't need to say that

because Peter's not here. Heh.

Where is Peter?

Once again, I find myself
talking to rabbits. Heh.

Expecting a response, which...

No. It's not forthcoming. Okay.

[FLOPSY & MOPSY WHIMPERING]

- [STEAM HISSING]
- [BOTH SIGH]

[PETER SIGHS]

Flashlight.

And for our British friends...

Torch.

♪ Come together now ♪

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

ALL:
Whoa!

Never gets old.

If we pull this off, we'll be
on posters all over town.

Why are you up there,
Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle?

Eye candy.

[SNORING]

Cock-a-doodle... Ahem.

Cock-a-doodle...

[HOARSELY]
Oh, no.

I've lost my voice.

Wake up. Wake up.

We've got to make the giant
ball of fire rise into the...

What?

How is this possible?

It was all a hoax

to keep me from questioning
my very existence.

My life's been one big lie!

Wait. But maybe
this means I can fly.

Maybe I can fly!

[YELLING]

[THUDS]

[STRAINING]
No.

- Cock-a-doodle-doo!
- Cock-a-doodle-doo!

NARRATOR: As the new day
dawned on the empty farm,

it wasn't just Peter
and the others

off on a journey
of self-discovery.

Bea was also answering
the knock of opportunity.

"Peter, Flopsy, Mopsy,

Cotton-Tail
and Cousin Benjamin,

with help from the others,
rebuilt the cottage,

and they all lived
happily ever after."

[CROWD APPLAUDING]

[CHUCKLES]

[CROWD CHATTERING]

You are a natural.

Come with me.
I have something to show you.

BEA: I can't believe
you're giving this to me!

I haven't even written
a best seller yet. Ha!

That's how confident I am
in the changes

you're making to the new book.
Have you seen Marvin's latest?

- Oh. Wow. Is it good?
- Well, the critics have been

mixed on it, but it just hit
number one in countries,

including Germany,
and they hate butterflies.

Find them too whimsical. I want
you to meet the whole company.

Branding, merchandising, film.

We don't just think of this
as a book anymore.

We think it's a phenomenon.
We think you are a phenomenon.

NARRATOR:
A phenomenon, indeed.

But also a phenomenon
with a husband

who thought
she might be traveling

down the wrong path.

So he went for his own meeting
with the publisher

to do what he was sure
was right for his wife.

THOMAS:
Nigel!

But without telling her,
of course.

Thomas?
What a lovely surprise.

Twice in one day.

I know what you're up to, okay?
And it is very clear to me

you are trying
to impose your will on my wife.

I wanted to tell you
to your face...

I'm heading to the gym
for a few rounds. You box?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I told you
I boxed, didn't I?

- Come with me.
- The only thing is

that I haven't
got my gear, so...

Not to worry.
We'll fix you up.

- Really?
- Come.

Okay. Yep.

[GRUNTING]

- [BOXERS GRUNTING]
- [SHOES SQUEAKING]

[GRUNTING RAPIDLY]

[EXHALING RHYTHMICALLY]

Hey, Nigel. Uh, thank you
again for the gear.

Oh, my niece was very happy
to lend it to you.

[GRUNTING RAPIDLY]

[GRUNTING RAPIDLY, SPLUTTERS]

Listen, I need to talk
to you about Bea.

Whoa! Oh! Ha-ha-ha!

You have her doubting
her own ideas.

Well, I want her
to take on some of mine.

Yeah. I can't help
but feel though

that she's losing her way.

- No.
- No?

Losing your way

is when no one buys your book

- because it's too niche.
- Ow!

You say "niche"?
It's pronounced niche!

- Whoa! Ha-ha-ha!
- And losing your way

is when you want
to have children

but your wife is too busy

painting pictures of rabbits
going to space! Oh!

Space? Really? She's doing that?

[GROANS]

Oh, Nigel. Nigel, I'm so sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

But if you're that selfish,

I don't know if you're cut out
to be a father.

Huh?

[ENGINE REVVING]

[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]

Why did you tell Nigel

- that I didn't want his ideas?
- Oh...

No, no, no, I was just saying,

I felt you were losing
your voice and integrity.

But, clearly, I had
nothing to worry about.

You have no right
to speak for me.

Nigel said
he was going to reduce

the run of the second book.
It's too "niche"?

It's pronounced niche.

If you're a pretentious twit.

What, like Nigel Basil-Jones?

How many names
does one man need?

Nigel's parents...

NARRATOR:
This went on for a while,

as most arguments
between grown-ups do.

And they start to say things
that have nothing to do

with what they're actually
arguing about.

Brussels is
the capital of Belgium.

Capitals have moved before, Bea.
Capitals will move again.

Kyoto, Japan. .

Where are those
moving trucks going? Tokyo!

And often, the argument
lasts a week

before they get
to the heart of the matter.

But this is a storybook,
so let's get right to it.

I'm finally getting
some success.

I'm determined
to hold on to it.

If you could please
support me

instead of going
behind my back, okay?

You're right.
I shouldn't have done that.

But this isn't you, Bea.

You paint elegant stories
of the rabbits and our home.

I'm painting our family.
It's... Just happens to be

the best-selling version
of our family.

Nigel knows what he's doing.

I love the new you.

I can do anything to you

and you won't eat me. Flick.

Actually, today is my cheat day.

- [SCREAMS]
- [GROWLING]

Help! Where is everybody?!

NARRATOR: About to
pull off the greatest

farmers-market heist
in history.

Also, the first.

[BABBLES, GRUNTS]

But Peter's always been

a trailblazer,
for better or worse.

This little piggy
went to market.

For some lavender soap. I was
told there was a lavender stand?

- Ugh.
- Hm?

Peter, may I have a quick word?

- Are you sure about this?
- Yeah.

I've never been more sure
about anything in my life.

Trust me. I would never
put you in danger.

- ALL: Hm...
- Again.

- ALL: Hm?
- I promise.

- Mm-hm.
- Okay, I can't promise.

We're gonna rob this place.
You in or out?

MITTENS:
Ca-caw! Ca-caw!

Ca-caw! Ca-caw!

- Ca-caw, ca-caw!
- BARNABAS: It's time.

- TOM: Ca-caw!
- MITTENS: Ca-caw!

- BARNABAS: You know what to do.
- Yes.

We steal the tailor's sausage
and kiss Sara Nakamoto.

What? No.

We take out all the farmers

so we can get
to the dried fruit

and drag it back
to the tailor's truck.

- Ah, okay.
- Wait a minute.

- I smell a rat.
- Huh?

And I like it.

Mmm. Heh-heh.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS, SHOUTS]

[ANIMALS WHOOPING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

♪ London Bridge is falling down
Falling down, falling down ♪

[MUFFLED]
♪ London Bridge is... ♪

[♪♪♪]

- [CAT MEOWING]
- [DOG BARKS]

One of these?

[SNIFFS]

- Oh, yeah.
- Lovely, isn't it?

[SNIFFS, SIGHS, OINKS]

SARA:
Two pounds, please.

Thanks.

[♪♪♪]

Let's kick this off, son.
For your dad.

[GRUNTS]

- VENDOR: Have a lovely day.
- CUSTOMER: Bye.

[GROANS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[YELPS]

- [SNEEZES, GRUNTS]
- [SCREAMS]

[GROANS]

[COTTON-TAIL GASPING]

Magic beans.

[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]

[YELLS]

I'm alive!

[SNORING]

- [PIGLING GRUNTING]
- [PEOPLE YELLING]

[SNORTS, GRUNTS]

[YELLS]

Stop, he's not a farmer.

Really?
But he's dressed like one.

It's a style.
Cultural appropriation.

Makes me sick.

Oh, there's a farmer.

- [PETER GRUNTS]
- [GROANS]

[♪♪♪]

[LATCH CLICKS]

VENDOR:
How are you, sir?

Here you go.
Super with fennel. Enjoy it.

- Here you are.
- Thanks very much.

What did Peter say?

The rabbit comes out
of the hole,

goes round the tree

and back down the hole.

Ah.

[YELLS]

[DISTORTED]
William!

[CREAKING]

[SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

Peter?

- Hyah!
- Oh, oh!

[♪♪♪]

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

Come on.

[SIGHS]

[PANTING]

Head to the petting zoo.
We can blend in

with those weird animals
that don't talk.

[BOTH PANTING]

- Let's go.
- ALL: Huh?

We'll take it from here.

TOM:
In you hop.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

[CAR HORN HONKING]

- All right, closing time.
- Sure.

- Oy, what's all this, then?
- Where is everyone?

[♪♪♪]

[GROANS]

Wait. Oh!

[GRUNTING]

- PETER: No!
- Hey, Benjamin?

Wha...? What's going on?

Let them go!
What are they doing?

Don't get yourself
caught too, son.

But if you did, just be a bigger
share for us, anyway, innit?

Peter! Wait, wait! Peter!

[GRUNTS]

MAN:
Come on, let's go.

No, no, stop. No, no, no, wait.
Stop, stop!

Wait!

You set us up.

We didn't not set you up,

if you catch my smell.

Good one, sis.

You really thought
we were gonna share all this

with those yokels?

We just needed bodies.

Sweet, dumb, bumpkin bodies

that will follow you anywhere.

Is this still part of the plan?

Did Peter do this?

He's not here, is he?

Maybe he really is a bad seed.

[GOAT BLEATS]

Dad was your best friend.

And my best friend
is the Sugar Plum Fairy.

[ALL LAUGHING]

I'm kidding.
She's very hard to get to know.

Closed off. She's Russian.

You never knew my dad.

Wouldn't be caught dead
in some country garden.

Like he was.

Why did you do this?

No one wanted
to adopt me anymore.

I was too old.
I was being replaced.

Every kid in town
wanted a young rabbit

like the one in that book.

So I tracked you down.

I was just gonna
use you as bait

for a few fake-and-takes.

But then I saw
how good you were

and I figured
we could do something

a lot bigger together.

You lied to me.

It's not hard to lie to someone

who wants to believe.

But one thing is dead true.

We are a great team.

That's why
you're in this truck with us

instead of in a cage with them.

This is where you belong, Peter.

We're your family now.

No.

My family's in trouble

and it's all my fault.

[GRUNTS, YELLS]

[♪♪♪]

[PANTING]

[TRUNK DOOR CLOSES]

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

No!

THOMAS:
Peter.

Where are the others?

What have you done?

[SIGHS]

THOMAS:
Hey. I need all the addresses

of the people
who took those animals.

We prefer
"adopted those animals."

And that information's private.
Against the law to give it out.

Mm...

Go, Peter!

[♪♪♪]

Right. Here we go.

"Almond milk, cashew cheese,
walnut butter."

This is not the list.

The man clearly likes
to get his protein from nuts.

That is everything I have.

[GRUNTS]

"Manchester, London,
Inverness, the Alps."

They're everywhere.
Do you see the mess you've made?

- You're never going to learn.
- You never give me a chance.

All you do is
tell me how bad I am.

Well, then stop
giving me reasons to.

- Wait, did you just talk?
- Uh, no. Yes. Maybe.

Could be your imagination.
Could be the radio.

[IMITATES RADIO DJ] This is BBC playing
all of the hits with none of the talk,

especially not Peter.
Rabbits can't talk.

[IN REGULAR VOICE] Oh, look,
the fuel gauge is empty.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING, STOPS]

[SIGHS]

[CLICKS, WHISTLES]

- [IMITATES expl*si*n]
- [THOMAS SCREAMS]

PETER:
I know I'm not perfect.

But I can't do anything
right by you.

No matter what I do,
you always assume the worst.

Well, you got
your entire family taken, Peter.

If that's not the worst,
what is?

- Why are you even helping me?
- I don't know.

I just saw you and the others
were in trouble and I came.

[GRUNTING]

It's not a choice.

I don't think I'm actually
propelling this

in any real way.

I'm sorry
I wrecked your tomatoes.

That wasn't
supposed to happen.

Then what was
supposed to happen?

[THOMAS PANTING, GROANING]

I met someone who made me feel

like not everything I did
was wrong,

who actually accepted me.

But it was all a lie.

He just used me. I'm so stupid.

You're not stupid.

You're young.

So you make mistakes.

A lot of mistakes.

It's the one thing
I'm really good at.

I know I'm too hard
on you sometimes.

I lost my father
when I was very young too,

so I never really learned
how to be one.

To me?

Yeah. To you.

And to the others.

That's why I'm here, I suppose.

It's what a dad does.

I didn't think
I'd ever have a dad again.

I didn't realize
I already was one.

[SIGHS]

You're not the bad seed, Peter.

I shouldn't have let them
call you that.

And I shouldn't have
believed it.

I know now that no one
can tell me who I am.

[CHUCKLES]

I think there's someone we both
love who needs to hear that too.

About me talking,
it's probably your imagination.

[TRUCK CREAKING]

You might also
want to imagine

your truck isn't
rolling down the hill.

No!

Stop the truck!
Please stop the truck! No! No!

No! No!

Oh, no!

No! Ah! Ugh!

No! No!

[SOBBING]
No, no.

No!

NIGEL:
So, what do you think, Bea?

Pretty original.

MAN:
And that's just one idea

the team came up with
for a possible movie version.

[EXECUTIVES MURMURING]

Hm. They don't
really look or act

like my rabbits though.

NIGEL:
We couldn't be more excited.

Your latest changes
have brought us

almost to the finish line.

- WOMAN : Yes, yes.
- WOMAN : So close.

But I do think
some of your pages are missing.

The end is just the rabbits
drinking tea

- and apologizing to each other.
- Oh, no, that's right.

- They learn from their mistakes.
- EXECUTIVES: Ugh.

NIGEL: What we're trying to say
is, the ending

is really important.

It's the only thing
readers remember.

- EXECUTIVES: Yes.
- Okay, uh, well, um, what about

if one of them goes
into the village

to get a birthday present?

[ALL GROAN]

- And gets kidnapped.
- EXECUTIVES: Yes!

- They should all get kidnapped.
- There can be a rescue mission,

exotic locations
all over the country,

even outside the country.

And you can have chases on many
different types of vehicles,

- like race cars.
- Boats, motorcycles, planes.

- That they can jump out of.
- Then they can team together

to get revenge
on a g*ng of bad guys.

And then they ride off
into the sunset.

But the sky should be pink.

Because that's the color of hope
and the future.

EXECUTIVES:
Aw...

Now, if the ending is
as action-packed

as we all agreed it should be...

I don't know if we all agreed.

[EXECUTIVES LAUGHING]

Bea! I'm so sorry to interrupt.

NIGEL:
Thomas!

- So good to see you.
- Nigel.

Ah, and you brought Peter.
Terrific.

Now we can show everyone

what Peter would look like
in zero gravity.

[IMITATES FILTERED BREATHING]

Mopsy! Cotton-Tail! Let's get
back to the rocket ship.

[EXECUTIVES LAUGHING]

- Nigel, stop it!
- What?

- BEA: Goodness me.
- Ooh!

Come here.
Are you okay, sweetie?

- The other rabbits were taken.
- What?

And the pig and the duck
and the hedgehog,

and is there a badger?

Yeah, I need your car
to go and get them.

My goodness. Oh...

How did this happen?
What have I done?

You've written percent
of a best seller.

Just get some more rabbits.
You can get a million more

with the money
you're about to make.

- Huh?
- No. I... I'm very sorry,

but I can't do this.

- This isn't my world.
- Not your world? Heh.

Look around you.

You created all this.

This is your world.

There's no boat chases
or skiing in my world.

And there's certainly no rabbits
jumping out of planes.

Bea.

What are you doing?

Do you know how much
I've put into this?

- How much you have put into this?
- I guess...

Don't look
in his beautiful eyes.

[PETER & BEA SIGH]

I need to go and get
my family, Nigel. Goodbye.

Your books will never
go anywhere without me.

This is the last the world will
ever hear about Peter Rabbit.

I'll take my chances.

Come on, Peter.

Goodbye, Nigel.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

Oh, we're making
a terrible mistake.

- What can we do to make...?
- Thomas!

[♪♪♪]

Okay, where are we
on Winnie the Pooh?

BEA:
Okay, where's the first stop?

PETER:
Riverside Drive.

BEA:
Did you just talk?

THOMAS:
Let's say it was just the radio.

PETER: This is BBC playing
all the hits with none of the...

NARRATOR: So away they went to
retrieve the rest of their family.

- There we are.
- The first was easy.

- Okay, number two.
- THOMAS: Here we go.

The next was
a little pricklier.

[QUIET KNOCK]

[SCREAMING]

But the rest were
much trickier.

[WHIMPERING]

Hello. There's been
some misunderstanding

in regards to the custody
of that rabbit.

- I promised the missus stew.
- Ah!

So they set off
on a rescue mission,

the likes of which Bea insisted
never happened in her world.

[♪♪♪]

Benjamin, I'm really sorry.
Listen, I never should have...

Not now, Peter.
Get me out of here!

Yep.

- [ENGINE REVVING]
- [LAUGHING]

They're the rabbits
from that book.

Benjamin, I'm really sorry.
Listen...

- Not now either.
- Right. Right.

[♪♪♪]

[YELLING]

[STUDENTS CHATTERING]

[STUDENTS GASPING, LAUGHING]

No! Oh!

We're too late! We're too...

- Felix is gone!
- Get up.

- Oh.
- Come on, let's go. Quick. Quick.

- Let's go. Let's go.
- Hey.

[♪♪♪]

- [SPEAKS IN GERMAN]
- [TOMMY WHIMPERING]

[TOMMY YELLS, LAUGHING]

[ALL YELLING]

[ALL SHUDDERING]

[JEMIMA SCREAMS]

Huh?

[SIGHS]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Brake lights.

- [SHOP BELL JINGLES]
- [CUSTOMERS CHATTERING]

- [GRUNTS, YELLS]
- [SHIVERING]

Oh, thank goodness.

Could you come back
in minutes?

This is doing wonders
for my skin.

BUTCHER:
Hey!

Hey, that's my pig!

[TIRES SQUEALING]

- [ENGINE REVVING]
- [TIRES SQUEALING]

[♪♪♪]

[ALL GASPING]

Whoa!

- [PEDESTRIANS YELLING]
- [TIGGY-WINKLE GRUNTING]

[LAUGHING]

- [ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]
- [SHUDDERING]

- [GROANING]
- [TIRE SQUEALS]

And that's why
I'm on the billboard.

[ALL SCREAMING]

"Lavatory"?
That's what it means?

The place where men
read the newspaper?

Yeah. You don't have
to change your name.

There's no one in the world

I'd rather be confused with
than you, Flops.

- Same here, Mops.
- Mm.

NARRATOR:
With everyone safely reunited,

they headed back to Gloucester
for one final rescue,

which Peter knew to be
the most dangerous of all.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

BARNABAS:
I underestimated you, son.

- [GASPS]
- [RABBITS WHIMPERING]

This whole time, I thought
I was the one playing you.

Looks like
I was the one being played.

Where's the rest of it?

Same place this is going.
With us.

You know
who you're dealing with?

Yeah. The guy who got me
to put my family in danger.

But that's not your fault.
It's mine.

I convinced them.

I believed this is who I was.

Now I know better.

You don't know nothing, kid.

Oh, no. You did teach me
a couple of things.

Oh, yeah? Like what?

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

Once a week,
the old tailor upstairs

drives to the market
to buy his sausage.

It's a real love story.
What of it?

And the second thing is:

The rabbit comes out
of the hole,

goes around the tree

and back down the hole.

What?

[YELLING]

[GASPS, YELLING]

[GASPS, GROANING]

Huh? Huh?

Ugh... Huh?

[CLICKS TONGUE]

[YELLS, GROANING]

[ALL PANTING]

The kid, the kid!

When this truck stops,
I'm gonna get him.

You nincompoop, don't you know
where this truck always parks?

Yeah. The market.
At the entrance.

Right next to the... Oh.

[♪♪♪]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

This reminds me of the first
time I was put in a cage.

The circus was in town,
and I'd always...

Whiskers, stay focused.

On what? Being captured
and getting our comeuppance?

Anyway, they only hired bats,

so I made a costume
out of gym socks.

THOMAS:
Ah, there we are.

[VAMPIRE WEEKEND'S
"HARMONY HALL" PLAYING]

♪ We took a vow in summertime ♪

♪ Now we find ourselves
In late December... ♪

You were right. I should have
just supported you.

I think I was just worried
the book would take you away

from the family
I wanted us to have, you know?

- I'm sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.

I was chasing something
for all the wrong reasons.

I lost sight
of what was important.

- Our family.
- Mm. And families, I've learned,

can come
in all shapes and sizes.

Ha! Nigel wanted me to use

those exact words
to end my book.

- You're kidding.
- Ha-ha-ha-ha!

I mean, the sentiment's nice,
but how pathetic.

- Right? Right?
- Pathetic? Yeah.

That's why I said it,
to make you laugh.

Nigel, he was pathetic.

- You want some tea?
- BEA: Lovely.

Benjamin, is now the time

for my often interrupted
yet heartfelt apology?

- Mm...
- I'm sorry.

I never should have mixed you up
in all this.

I got caught up worrying about
who everyone thought I was,

instead of who I really am,
which is your brother.

And your cousin, who continues
to not listen to you

but promises
to really, really try.

I'm sorry. What...?

- Hm.
- I'm kidding.

But, really, Peter, from now on,
you need to think things through

and take some advice
from those who love you.

I'm sorry. Wha...?

[PETER CONTINUES SUSTAINING
HIGH-PITCHED TONE]

Sunset.

[SUPERGRASS' "ALRIGHT" PLAYING]

♪ We are young, we run green ♪

♪ Keep our teeth
Nice and clean ♪

♪ See our friends
See the sights ♪

♪ And feel all right... ♪

NARRATOR: And so they all
lived happily ever after,

[BABY CRYING]

as is the law
in these storybooks.

You just take this out, and...

- [BABY COOING]
- [BEA CHUCKLES]

There.

Bea and McGregor had
a child of their own.

And the rabbits took to her
like a real sister.

[SIGHS]

Peekaboo.

Peekaboo. Peekaboo.

Peekaboo!

Try this jelly bean.
It'll change your life.

- Cotton-Tail, no.
- Cute baby.

Right, well,
if anybody needs me,

I'm gonna swim
to France and back.

[WATER SPLASHES]

I finally realized
what made me different.

I'm the narrator
of these stories.

Another classic, Flopsy.
What are you gonna name it?

She already did.

I like it.
Implies there might be more.

Or this could be it. We didn't
think we'd get this far.

♪ We are young, we run green ♪

♪ Keep our teeth
Nice and clean ♪

♪ See our friends ♪

♪ See the sights
And feel all right ♪

Hey, squirrel,
why don't you take it from here?

Oh, I couldn't possibly.

♪ We are young, we run green ♪

♪ Keep our teeth
Nice and clean ♪

♪ See our friends
See the sights ♪

♪ Feel all right ♪

Okay. That's enough.

- Thanks.
- Yep.

♪ Got some cash
Bought some wheels ♪

♪ Took it out
'Cross the fields ♪

♪ See our friends
See the sights ♪

♪ And feel all right ♪

♪ Are we like you? ♪

♪ I can't be sure ♪

♪ Of the scene as she turns ♪

♪ We are strange
In our worlds ♪

♪ But we are young, we get by ♪

♪ Can't go mad
Ain't got time ♪

♪ See our friends
See the sights ♪

♪ But we're all right ♪

♪ Got some cash
Bought some wheels ♪

♪ Took it out
'Cross the fields ♪

♪ Lost control, hit a wall ♪

♪ But we're all right ♪

♪ Are we like you? ♪

♪ I can't be sure ♪

♪ Of the scene as she turns ♪

♪ We are strange
In our worlds ♪

♪ But we are young
We run green ♪

♪ Keep our teeth
Nice and clean ♪

♪ See our friends
See the sights ♪

♪ And feel all right ♪

[SNORING]

ALL:
Cock-a-doodle-do!

Cock-a-doodle-do!

Wait a second.

- Dad, wake up!
- Oh!

ALL:
Cock-a-doodle-do!

Ah! You made the magical
water fountains erupt,

wetting the earth
so it won't burn up

from the giant ball of fire!

It's not a sham! We do matter!

We have a purpose!

ALL:
Cock-a-doodle-do!

We're back, baby!

[YELLS, GROANS]

But we still can't fly.