08x30 - Mayberry R.F.D.

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Andy Griffith Show". Aired: October 1960 to April 1968.

Moderator: Lindaballou

Andy Taylor who is a widowed sheriff raises his son in Mayberry, N.C.
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08x30 - Mayberry R.F.D.

Post by bunniefuu »

Well, hi, Sam.

Hi, Andy.

How's the farm?

Oh, fine, fine.
Good, good.

Another seed shipment coming in?

No, no, I'm meeting that
Italian fella, you know.

Italian fella?

Yeah, I told you, the guy I met

when I was stationed
over there in the army.

Oh, yeah, and he's coming over
to help you work the farm.

Oh, yeah, Mario's been dying
to come here for years.

Yeah, yeah.

Every letter,
it's the same thing.

He says, "I love to come"

to the United States
of America, usa."

Oh, usa.

You got time to hang
around and meet him?

Yeah, I'd like to.


Yeah, right on time.


Sam, you know, it's nice of you

to bring him all the way
over here like this.

Oh, well, it's good
for me, too, Andy.

You know the trouble I've had
getting somebody to help me.

Farm life just doesn't
seem to appeal

to too many people
around here anymore.

Too rugged, I guess.

Yeah, well, it won't be
too rugged for Mario.

He's a hard worker.
A good farmer.

Real nice fella.

That's good.

Well, I hope he likes it here.

Is he leaving any
family back there?


As I recall, he's got
a sister and a father.

I never met them though.

They always stayed
down on their farm.

I suppose he'll keep sending
money back to them,

make sure they're all right.

Yeah, yeah.

Take care of
the folks back home.


A little excited, huh?

Well, I haven't seen him
in over seven years.

Sam! Sam!
Sam Jones!

Sam, I'm here!

There he is.


It's good to see you, Mario.

How was the trip?

Fine, fine.

How are you, buddy?


Gosh, you look great.

You look great!

You don't look so bad, yourself.

Oh, Sam, seven years!
Seven years!

Yeah, it's been
a long time, Mario.

Long... boy,

Oh, Mario, I'd like you to meet

a good friend
of mine... Andy Taylor.

Mr. Taylor...

I adore policemen.

Glad to know you, Mario.

And I will stay out of trouble
with you.

Oh, we'll get along fine.

We'll get along just fine.

Well, let's go.

I've got the truck right over...

Oh, pardon me, miss.

Oh, Sam, I would like you
to meet

my beautiful sister, Sophia.


Sam Jones!

Oh, I heard so much about you.

I feel I know you already.

Um, Mario, in your letter

you didn't mention...

Sophia, this is
Sam's friend Andy Taylor.

He's a policeman.

Andy Taylor!

Mario... Mario...

Already I know
two people in America.

Mario, in your letter,
there was no mention...

You can't take it.


Sam, I would like
to introduce you

to my wonderful papa.

Your father?

Yes, my father.

Mario, your family here

they're just here
for a visit, is that it?

A visit?

Well, let me explain.

Un' momento...


You didn't write him
you were bringing us?

I think I did it.

You think you did, huh?

Well, I'm % sure.

You never wrote him!

I am sorry.

My brother, he didn't write
we were coming.

I forgot.

You see, in Italy the families,

they stay always together.

So I bring them along.

Then you mean they're not
just here for a visit?

No, they stay and they
work for you like me.

They do?

Sophia... she cooks.

Well, I have a cook, Mario.
Mrs. Fletcher.

She's cooked for

my son and me for years.

She's a very fine cook.

Now you have two cooks.

My father...

My father is a fine farmer.

We all work for you, Sam.

Mario, really

I don't know
that I need that much...

We go to a hotel.

We make other arrangements.

Oh, you!

I don't understand how
you can bring us this far...


Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Why doesn't everybody
just get in the truck?

You mean we can stay?

Well, yeah.

Sam, you're wonderful!

He is right.

Everybody into the truck.

My wonderful father,
my beautiful sister.


Everybody to the truck.

Well, they seem like nice folks.

I'm just not geared
for anything like this, Andy.

The whole family?

I lead a quiet, peaceful life.

I'm not geared
for anything like this.

We are in the truck.

They're in the truck.


I'm going to have
to stop in town

and get some food for the crowd.

I'll see you.

You from across the water?

Yes, from Italy.

We're from Mayberry.

Oh, I am glad to meet you.

I work for Sam Jones.

I'm Howard sprague.

Mario vincente.

This is goober pyle.

Mario vincente.

Buon giorno.

Do you speak Italian?

Oh, no, no, not fluently.

But mother and I often frequent
an Italian restaurant

and I've managed to pick up
some of your native phrases.

Oh, I see.

I got a coat just like that.

The same?

Yeah, over here we
call it ivory league.



What a nice grocery store.

There are so many things
I have never seen before.

Sophia, we already

make more friends.


This is my sister Sophia.

Howard sprague and groober pyle.

It's an American name.

Pleased to meet you,
miss Sophia.

Howard, I was the one
that was talking to her.

Well, I'm sorry.


Well, we'd better be going.

It was so nice to have
met both of you.

It was a pleasure to meet you.

Buon giorno.

I wonder if any one of them
is a checker player.


I don't even know if they
play checkers in Italy.

Well, they play everything else.

Sam, your farm is beautiful.


And together we make this farm

the finest farm in the county.

The place has been in the family

for over a hundred years.

Sam, that is what makes
a farm a wonderful place.

From the father to son,
from the father to son.

I see all around me in
this farm is that love.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess
you could say that.


Hi, pa.

Hi, son.

I did real good
in arithmetic today.

Good, good.

Mike, this is Mario.


Your son.



Is a fine boy
with a good strong name.

I think I'll go in
and have some milk.

Ah, there is the son
to take over the farm next.

I hope so.

From father to son.

This is wonderful.


I'll tell you the truth.

When I saw your whole family

getting off that
train this morning

it was kind of a shock.

But you're...
You're here

and I do need the help

so we'll give it a try.

Sam, we'll work together

and we make this farm
the finest farm in America.

The finest farm in the world.

Tell him to stop.

I did.


Stop! Stop!

What did he say?

He didn't say anything.

He didn't say anything?

Look, I know
you understand Italian.

He said something.

Well, he said

they made crazy tractors
in America.

Crazy tractors?!

That is an a*t*matic
three-speed model d- engine.

It is not a crazy tractor!

Sam, we fix it, I promise.


I promise! I promise, Sam!


Your name is Mike, huh?

Yes, ma'am.

You're a nice little boy.

Did you get your milk?

I-I changed my mind.

Come look, Sam.

I fixed the chicken
we bought, huh?


Look, miss vincente,
we make a thing here

called Southern fried chicken.

Mrs. Fletcher just kind
of rolls it in bread crumbs.

But this is Southern
fried chicken.

I just added a little onion,
green pepper

tomato sauce, garlic,
and paprika.

Southern fried chicken
ala bolognese.

Look, miss vincente,
I really don't know...

You try it just once.

Oh, Sam, I like this house.

I like Mike.
I like you.

I like Mayberry.

I like America.

Uh... she likes America.

I've seen better ways
of showing patriotism.

Oh, Mrs. Fletcher.

Excuse me.

Mrs. Fletcher.

Mrs. Fletcher, you've gotten
the wrong impression.

You see, that lady is the sister

of the man
I told you was coming.

These Italians are
somewhat emotional.

she's going to do the cooking.

So you won't need me anymore.

Oh, no, no, nothing of the sort.

Why, you're still the main cook.

It's just that...

Well, on occasion

I imagine she's very good
with Italian dishes.

You seem to have a way
with them yourself.

Good-bye, Mr. Jones.

Oh, Mrs. Fletcher,
I-I wasn't...

Pa, pa.

Are they going to keep
kissing me and hugging me

like that all the time?

I don't know, son.

They do it to me, too.

What are these chickens
doing in here?

He says your chickens
are too thin.

Look, just get
these chickens out...

Look, folks, you don't

Folks, folks.

Pa, what's going on?

Oh, it's all right, son.

It's all right.

I was going
to give it a try, Andy.

I thought, well,
maybe it would work out.

They live in a whole
different world.

They're different, all right.

That Sophia...
Every time I come

within five feet of her

she throws her arms around me.

I haven't known the lady
more than four hours.

What you might call
an outgoing person.

Yeah. And I have
reason to believe

that Mrs. Fletcher
won't be back

as long as she's there.

You'll lose miss Fletcher?

After years.

And then there's the father.

Well, i-i-i... I don't know
what to tell you.


Have you...

Have you got any thoughts?

Yeah. Yeah,
I have, Andy.

Up around siler city

there are a lot of big farms

that are owned
by Italian farmers.

Hey, now, that might be an idea.

They'd be only too happy

to have a family like this

who could work a farm.

Then Mario, Sophia and papa

they'd be with
their own people...

People who
understand their ways.

I... I've tried to,

but, well, I think,
in the long run

they'd be a lot happier, too.

That might just be the answer.

I tried to go
along with them, Andy.

Well, sure, you did.

I'm going to drive up
to siler city right now

and ask around.

I'll see you.

You know, there...

There's one other
very important thing, too, Andy.

Now, if I have trouble...

Well, kind of adjusting
to them and them to me.

Well, chances are

it's going to be
the same with you,

aunt bee, goober,
and all Mayberry

adjusting to them.




I'll see you later.


Okay, they're all spread out...

Some on this side
and some on this side.

Now, first thing is,
this is a red checker

and this is a black checker.

Now, if you get the red ones

the idea is to jump
over the black ones.

See what I mean?


if that means "red."


Yeah. "Black." Now,
the idea of the game

is for your rossos
to jump over my neros.


When you get all
my nero off the board

you're the winner.


Vittoria. Vittoria.

That's right. Now
let's give it a try.

All right, you go first.

Io y primo?

Yeah, you primo.

Va bene.


I'm afraid we're going
to have to take this

just a mite slower.

You should be proud
of this farm.

My father owns it.

I know.

My grandfather used to own it

but he died.

Oh, that's too bad.

I was sick once.

You were?
Yeah, but I didn't die.

That's good.

You play baseball in Italy?


But I can learn.

I've got two mitts.

I'll go get them.

Well, we'll have
to be running along.

It was so nice of you ladies
to come for a visit.

Oh, we did want to meet you.

And to say hello.

It's been a real pleasure.

Thank you.

Mmm! My, I smell
something good.

It's Southern fried chicken.

Southern fried chicken?

Well, you certainly
have a way with it.

Bye-bye, now.

Don't forget about tonight.

Oh, no. I won't.

It's been just lovely.



Oh, hi, Sam.

How'd you do?

Doesn't look like
it'll be a problem.

I spoke to a few families
up there.

I want to find
the right spot for them.

They'll be happier there
than they would be here.

Say, where is everybody?

In the town hall.

There's a meeting
going on over there.

It might be real
interesting to you.

Why don't you come on over?

Well, I...

Ladies and gentlemen!

Ladies and gentlemen!
Ladies and gentlemen!

Ladies and gentlemen.

As you all know,
tonight's meeting

of the Mayberry civic league

was to feature
a discussion in depth

of Mayberry's
acute traffic problem.

However, on this day

we are greatly honored

to welcome three new members
to our community

so your steering committee
took the Liberty

of postponing the discussion
of the traffic until next week

so that we may pay our respects

to the vincente family

who have come to our shores

to find a way of life
in the new world.

You know...

I've been thinking
of the contribution

the Italian people
have made to the growth

of these United States.

In the field of statesmanship

we have the name
fiorello la guardia

synonymous with the integrity
and growth

of that famous city... New York.

And in the field of sports
the revered name of...


Graziano needs
no further glorification.

And in the field of industry,
well, the names are just myriad.

Suffice it to say
that we are all aware

of the tremendous role
the Italian-made shoe has played

in our overall economy.

So, without further ado

I give you one
of our new citizens...

Mr. Mario vincente.

Thank you.

Well, I think
I should tell you right away

I am not fiorello la guardia.

I am not rocky graziano.

I am Mario vincente, a farmer

and, uh... I wish to say that,
uh... my family and I are...

We are very happy to be here

and we'll try very much

to make Mayberry
the greatest city

in this great state
of north California.



Thank you. Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen

I know this is not part
of the scheduled program

but I see the man

who's responsible
for all this good fortune

at the back of the auditorium...

Mr. Jones!

Mr. Jones

would you care
to say a few words?

Well, looks like you're on.

Uh... I just want to say...

Good evening...

And it's nice to be here.

Uh... the thing is...

When I asked Mario to come here

I didn't know that he...

What I mean is

I know this is all going
to work out just fine.

And with the help of Mario
and his family

I expect to have
the best farm in Mayberry

and all that.

Thank you.

And now,
to climax these festivities

the choir would like to sing

what I believe
is the Italian national anthem.

Would you, please, Clara?

♪ O sole mio ♪

♪ The sun is shining

♪ it shines on mountains...

Our national anthem?

♪ And tends the shore

♪ o sole ♪

♪ O sole mio ♪

♪ It's here before

♪ da-da-da-da

♪ o golden sunshine

♪ to light the day

♪ o golden sunshine

♪ dispel the gray

♪ o sole ♪

♪ O sole mio... ♪

Looks like I'm
going to be eating

a lot of Southern fried chicken

a la bolognese.

Yeah, it looks like it.

♪ O sole mio ♪

♪ The sun is shining

♪ it shines on mountains...

What are you making there?

Curtains for the kitchen.

I brought this material
from Italy.

Well, that'll be nice.

You know, with just
Mike and me here,

we didn't bother to fluff
the place up too much.

You know, Sam,

I was worried for a while
this morning at the station.

I thought you make us leave.


I don't know what
he's talking about.

Are you happy now
they came with me?

Yeah, Mario.

I'm happy.


Si. Si.

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