03x08 - Superman's Pal

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

MAN:
You can't do that!

You'll overload the accelerator
and--

I didn't know
what to do,

so I called
the Legion of Super-Heroes.

Well, it's a little late.

What do you need heroes for
if the villain's gone?

Well, he's not exactly gone.
Look.

It's a temporal anomaly.

Brainiac made it
by rewiring the circuits,

then overloading them.

Where does it lead?

It could be anywhere.

And any time.

That means Brainiac
could be changing the past.

Or destroying the future.

Is there a way
of pulling him back, professor?

This thing is too far beyond
our own technology.

Let's go.

Didn't you hear me?

I have no way
of bringing you back.

Let us worry about that.

This is crazy.

You asked for heroes.

You didn't say anything
about sanity.

[♪♪♪]

[MOOS]

Well, we're here.

Wherever that is.

And whenever.

SATURN GIRL:
Over here.

[♪♪♪]

I think I know what
Brainiac's up to now.

And if I'm right,
we don't have much time.

[g*n COCKS]

[BARKS]

Back, boy.

Ya thought I wouldn't catch ya,
didn't ya?

He's had trouble with kids

coming onto his property
at night, pulling pranks.

He means business.

You got that right, missy.

Now, if y'all just move
toward the house.

Ah!

Huh?

[ROARS]

It's all right.
You won't be harmed.

And you won't remember.

[FUN FUNK MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ Feel that funky b*at
Uh-huh ♪

♪ Feel that funky b*at
Everybody now ♪

♪ Get up on your feet ♪

GIRL:
Clark Kent.

You promised to get me
some punch, remember?

Oh, sorry, Lana.
I got...sidetracked.

What's this strange power
you have?

What do you mean?

The ability to attract
every airhead in Smallville.

BOY:
Hey, Mr. Varsity.

[GRUNTS]

Airheads
aren't the only ones.

You may have
made All-State, Kent,

but I can burn your butt
any day of the week.

Oh, yeah, Kenny?

How about any night?

You mean now?

Okay, let's do it.

[KIDS CHEERING]

Clark, this is a dance.

Kareem here says
he can burn my butt.

I don't think he's even
got a match.

BOY:
Here we go, here we go!

BOY 2:
You show him!

BOY 3:
Come on!

[ALL CHEERING]

[GRUNTING]

[YELLING]

Heh. Showed that loudmouth.

Did more than that.

BOY:
Is he moving?

[GROANS]

You just had to show him
how tough you are.

Guess I don't know
my own strength.

Maybe you should learn.

Hey, it's not like
I meant to hurt him.

It's just that...

I've been going through
some changes lately.

Me too!

[GRUNTS]

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

[SCREAMS]

[MACHINE HUMMING]

Who are you?

[SCREAMS]

[GROANING]

Why are you doing this?

[SCREAMS]

[DOG BARKING]

Stop! There's no reason!

Ah, but there will be,
Kal-El.

There will be.

Kal-El? I'm not--

[SCREAMING]

[GROWLS]

Just in time.

Huh?

Chameleon Boy.

Cosmic Boy. Saturn Girl.

Where are
the other Legionnaires?

Hey, it's only you.

Ah!

[PANTING]

Ah!

You saw?

Yeah, he touched something
on his belt, then poof.

He's built himself
a spatial disrupter.

Uh... Excuse me.

It was something
in the punch, right?

We should be safe here.

For the moment.

Wouldn't hurt
to have a disguise.

Hold still.

Well?

Like a pair of glasses
is going to fool anyone.

It better.

Brainiac's trying
to alter our past.

And your future.

He wants to k*ll you
before you ever become Superman.

Super who?

Superman.

You.

Red underpants?

Now I know
you're crazy.

I realize all this
is hard to take in,

and maybe we do seem a little...

Um, freaky?

But if you just open your mind.

The 30th century is an age

of unparalleled peace
and prosperity.

But none of this would
have been possible without you.

Me?

SATURN GIRL:
Superman showed us that beings
from different worlds

could work together
for a greater good.

This is the principle on which

the Legion of Super-Heroes
was founded.

But Brainiac would tear
all this apart.

He's a living computer
who destroys whole planets.

Superman stopped him,
but after years of dormancy,

Brainiac managed
to reassemble himself.

He's made his way back here
to destroy you.

We've gotta stop him.
Our past depends on it.

And your future.

How'd you do that?

CHAMELEON BOY:
Shh!

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

Phew. That was close.

Hey.

He ran away.

He-- He didn't believe us.

It wasn't like this
in the history tapes.

[PEACEFUL POP PLAYING]

Ah, a lucky break,
that's all it was.

You're lucky that's
the only thing that broke.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

[BELL DINGS]

[GASPS]

Whoa. Check out Darth Vader.

Que pasa, man?
Take a wrong turn at Tatooine?

[SCREAMS]

Where does Clark Kent live?

Clark? Wh-what is this?

Insufficient response.

[GROANING]

[WHIMPERS]

Ah!

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

I repeat:

Where does--?

State Road 7.
Where it dead ends.

Thank you.

[GRUNTS]

Well, no one said
this was gonna be easy.

Pa!

Jeez!

You almost gave me
a heart att*ck.

You have a visitor.

I just, uh--

Hi, Clark.

Hi.

I needed to tell you that I'm
sorry for walking away from you.

It's just that--

Uh, Jonathan?

Aren't The Dukes of Hazzard
on now?

It's just that you've become
so darn arrogant lately.

It's time you learned
a little humility.

Oh, I'm learning
about that all right.

What was that?

He's here.

They're in the living room,
checking the closet.

How do you know?

I can see them.

Who are they?
What do they want?

They want me.

I'm gonna try to draw them away.

Whatever happens,
stay down here.

Are you crazy?
You can't go up there.

What was that?

I don't know,
but I'm going to find out.

Don't be foolish.

You need something better
than a shovel.

[♪♪♪]

[SCREAMS]

[♪♪♪]

[g*nsh*t]

[♪♪♪]

Oh, no, you don't.

Pa!

[GRUNTS]

[♪♪♪]

You want me, Brainiac?
Here I am!

[BLOWS THUDDING]

We'll take it from here.

This guy's mine.

Not tonight.

You two gonna be okay?

BRAINIAC:
Kal-El.

Guess the history tapes
weren't so far off after all.

[SCREAMS]

Clark, listen.

You must get to the control
on Brainiac's belt.

It's the only way.

At last, the son of Jor-El
kneels before me.

This time, history will show

that I am the superior
survivor of Krypton.

SATURN GIRL:
You know how to adjust it.

[BEEPING]

[♪♪♪]

You're lucky you're still
in one piece, son.

That was the worst twister
to hit town in 20 years.

Yeah, yeah. I don't care.

Ow!

Just get me down!

So they don't remember anything
that happened last night?

Nothing. I blocked
everyone's memories,

then made them think
the damage was done by a storm.

It's just as well.

I don't know how
I'd explain any of it.

What happens now?

We're gonna use the computer

in Brainiac's hover-chair
to get us back to our own time.

Then I won't be seeing
you again.

Don't look so sad.
You'll hardly miss us.

What, are you kidding?
After all you've shown me?

Mmm.

Aw, just when we were
gettin' to be buds.

It's not right for a person
to know his own future.

Yes. He needs
to find his own way.

Up, up and away!

Heh. Always wanted
to say that.

Hey, Clark.

Come on,
we're gonna be late for class.

Where'd you get those?

Uh, I'm not sure.

Well, what do you think?
Are they me?

You are so weird.

[♪♪♪]