02x17 - Worlds Finest, Part 2

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Superman:

I just wanted to let you know
I'll be in late tomorrow.

I'm having breakfast with Bruce.

Isn't that special.

He's very thoughtful and much deeper
than the gossip mongers...

...would lead you to believe.

You'd be surprised.

Where's The Joker?

Lexy, old kid.

Pay me one billion dollars,
and I'll k*ll Superman.

The Joker has pounds more
where this came from.

You know I can't be connected to this
in any way.

Deal?

Deal.

The senator...

...declined comment. Done.

And not a moment too soon.

Bruce. When did you--?

About three paragraphs ago.
I didn't wanna distract you.

Ready to do the town?

Give me a minute to see the chief,
then I'm all yours.

Clark, keep an eye on Bruce, will you?

I'll be right back.

-Actually, Lois--
-Don't be intimidated.

Regale him with madcap tales
of the nightlife in Smallville.

She never stops, does she?

Not that I've noticed.
Any luck finding the comedian?

Three nights, and not so much
as a green hair.

Of course, you have been dividing your time
between work and Lois.

Is that a problem?

Let's just say I'm concerned.
Your reputation is dubious...

...in and out of costume.

Don't worry.
I'm taking Lois quite seriously.

Besides, it seems to me
you had your chance.

So, Mr. Wayne,
ready to sweep me off my feet?

Be seeing you.

This city is gorgeous at night.

Is it? I wasn't looking at the city.

Lois. About Clark Kent.

Are you and he...?

I mean....

No, Bruce. Your only competition
flew away some time ago.

My, you do live dangerously.

Don't you realize you're moving in
on Superman's main squeeze?

And then I said....

They've got g*ns!

Take your hands off her, you--

See that he's street pizza.

In this town, some flying fool
could have caught him.

Well, aren't we tenacious?

Catch you next time, Brucie.

Swell. Now Gotham's
sending us their wackos.

Don't worry, Mr. Wayne. The SCU
will get her back safe and sound.

Thank you, inspector.

-You realize she's just the bait.
-I'll be careful.

Careful won't cut it.
With Joker, expect the unexpected.

Maybe you should have
remembered that.

Think of it, Miss Lane.

This rock is more precious than gold.

One teensy chip will go for thousands
on the collectors' market...

...after it kills your flyboy.

-You sick, demented, murdering freak!
-How rude.

Half for now and half for later.

You've got a front row seat
for the story of the century, my dear.

The death of Superman.

SCU, Turpin.

Am-scray, turnip. I wanna talk
to the boy in blue.

You got something to say, clown,
say it to--

I'm here, Joker. What have you
done with Lois Lane?

She's right here, Superman...

...and she'd love to see you.

Want to know where here is?
Don 't blink.

Got the picture, Supey? Come alone.

No cops or little Lois dies laughing.

Wait, what picture? What did he mean?

More powerful than a locomotive.

And just about as subtle.

I'm flattered you put on
your Sunday best.

Where is she, Joker?

Forget about Lois.

Feast your eyes on this.

Now, I'll ask you once more.

I don't understand.

I had it all planned so perfectly.

-Oh, wait, that's it.
-What?

Silly me. I forgot the acid.

What's the matter, Supey?

No steam left in the old locomotive?

I hope you're taking notes.

-Not now.
-But, pudding...

-...Batman's headed your way.
-Get out.

Pardon my hasty exit.
We have a pest control problem.

Feel free to expire any time.

I'll be back in a moment.

Two for the price of one.
I love it.

And the best part is...

...you're all going out with a smile.

Have a happy--

Hydrochloric acid. It would take a week
to eat through the wall.

No. Wait.

Kryp-- Kryptonite.

Snap out of it, Kent.

Or Joker gets the last laugh.

Keep your heads down.

They're loose!

That's not fair.

It's over, Joker.

It hasn't begun, Supey.

He's gotta be kidding.

They're grenades.

Expect the unexpected.

Thank you. I couldn't have saved Lois
without your help.

I'm aware of that.

Bruce. Bruce Wayne.
He was with me when Joker....

Is he all right? Do you know?

He's fine.

Just fine.

I wish to assure all of Metropolis
that this expl*si*n was non-nuclear.

And presents no danger to the community.

-Now, if you'll excuse me.
-Hey, what about The Joker, Mr. Luthor?

You heard the man.

What could have possessed me
to trust that clown?

Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman.
Eat me, eat me, eat me!

I know you're trying
to cheer me up, Harley.

But you see, any time I blow
a billion-dollar deal...

...it really kills my appetite!

Honestly, Lex, don't you think
I feel bad enough already?

You maniac! You idiot!

-How dare you use one of my laboratories--
-Harley?

-Put him down, baldy.
-Mercy.

Here's for that punch in the face.

Can't we discuss this like gentlemen?

Listen to little Miss Can't-Take-A-Joke.

Thank you. Have a seat, please.

Banzai!

You owe me an explanation.

The lab was a perfect set-up.

How did I know old bat-breath
would show up?

Batman?
He followed you to Metropolis?

Oh, right. Like it's my fault.

Look, I've still got half the Kryptonite.

I can still finish the job.

But if I have to cope
with two men in tights...

-...the price goes up.
-Unacceptable.

If you can't handle some mental case
in a fright mask, our deal is off.

Mercy, let's go.

Keep in mind, this is your last chance.

How you doing, slugger?

A-okay, Mr. J.

Hey, Smallville. Come in. What's up?

I see you're holding up
after last night. I've been....

I didn't realize you had company.

Whoa, you might at least tell me
why you stopped by.

I've been nosing around.

I think I may know why The Joker
is suddenly after Superman.

Well, don't keep us in suspense.

I think he's in cahoots
with your boyfriend's business partner.

With Lex? Are you sure?

I can't prove it. Yet.

I suppose I could ask him.

What? Who?

-What do you want?
-lnformation.

Regarding a mutual acquaintance.

What are you talking about?
I don't know any--

You know exactly who I mean.

Where is he? What kind of deal
have you made with him?

I don't....

-l....
-Mr. Luthor. Are you all right?

-Who's in there?
-Open up!

-He's in trouble.
-The door's locked.

I don't have the keys.

Think about it. I'll be back.

All right, break it in.

-Mr. Luthor?
-Get out.

Contact the clown immediately.

It appears we'll have to deal with
his friend after all.

A transfer?

Just to the Planet's Gotham City bureau.

Does this mean you and Bruce...?

We haven't made a formal commitment
or anything, but...

...yeah, it's that serious.

Hey, chin up, Smallville.
With me out of the picture...

...you might get a sh*t at stardom.

Lois! Clark!

I just got word the cruise ship
S.S. Atlantis...

...is sending a distress call
miles offshore.

Exactly. Call the Coast Guard to confirm
and the cruise line for a statement.

You're not out of here yet, Lane.

What the devil is he up to now?

A change of attire, sir?

How fast can we get to Hobbs Bay?

If I may be so bold.
When in Rome, sir....

-What's the problem, captain?
-What do you mean?

You sent out a distress call, didn't you?

Not on my authorization.

There's the culprit.
It's broadcasting an electronic beacon.

If one of my crew is responsible
for this prank, they--

What is it? What's happening?

Whoever sent that distress signal...

...just provided the distress.

Copybat, copybat.

Suffering from propulsion envy, Batboy?

Think of it as a welcome wagon, Bats...

...welcoming you to the nearest mortuary.

[ENGLlSH]