I'm a drunk.
How long have you been sober?
Almost five years.
So you can sponsor somebody.
I'm pregnant.
Why did you wait so long to tell me?
We got a call
that you were trying to bounce him.
- From whom?
- Anonymous
- Dr. Romano, I felt I had to-
- Not a word, Peter. Not a single word.
I was hoping you'd give me the joy
and honor...
of being your husband.
All right, so we'll put you on the schedule
for next week.
Start out very light. No trauma.
Whatever you say.
Again. Clear!
Go again. Clear!
Still in V-fib.
- Hey, Carter!
- Hey, Dave.
- Good to see you.
- You too.
- Yeah, you missed me?
- What happened to your hair?
I've got to hop. The chief's training me
on the sternal saw today.
Hope we get a GSW
who needs his chest cracked.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
And this jerk just cut us off.
And I rear-ended him,
and then the air bags went off.
That's disgusting.
Hi, Carter.
Glad you're back. She drinks anything
she can get her hands on.
Probably psychogenic polydipsia.
You want to check her lytes
and then call for a Psych consult.
- Hey, Carter.
- Hey, Lily. How are you?
Chuny, Weaver needs somebody
to make a blood run.
Weaver needs to get
a couple more nurses.
Can you tell we're short nurses?
- Congratulations.
- John, welcome back.
Hey, Carter! I got a live one
waiting in Exam .
Freak tore off all her toenails
with a pair of pliers.
What about me?
I need medical attention!
- The only thing you need is a bath.
- I'll be there in a minute, Lydia.
Hey, you.
Where do you think you're going?
- I work here.
- No. That's an old ID.
Well, I've been away.
Dr. Weaver, does this one
belong to you?
Yes, he does. He'll need to get
a new ID from personnel.
- You can get it after your shift.
- Sorry, doc.
- Why not Christmas?
- Next Christmas.
No. This Christmas.
Are you mad?
It takes months to plan a wedding.
- Hey, Carter.
- Carter.
- We got engaged.
- We bought a house.
Wow.
Congratulations on both accounts.
Boy! I go away for a couple weeks...
...you guys get engaged,
Chen's pregnant...
...Malucci's blond, Admin looks different,
and I can't remember my locker combination.
The state medical board
made us clean it out. I'm sorry.
Where's my stuff?
Listen, I'll look into
getting your locker back.
- But you can use mine until then.
- Look, I better run.
There's a surgical conference today.
We're short-staffed.
Please don't let your Residents call
for any unnecessary consults.
- Good luck, Carter.
- Thank you.
We'll talk dates later.
You ready to rock 'n' roll?
Yeah, I guess so.
Listen, if you need anything...
...talk about a case
or a patient or anything...
- ... just come find me.
- I'll do that.
I will.
You got anything good?
- Got a chest pain in hooked up.
- I think Dr. Greene is free. Thanks, Lily.
Sorry, Carter, but in order
to facilitate your return...
- ... we need to implement a few rules.
- Such as?
You're to do only minor medical,
no trauma.
No suturing. No needles.
No narcotics.
And absolutely no surgical procedures.
That leaves me with...?
The chance to practice medicine again.
- Let me go!
- Settle down, Mr. DiBattista!
- Let go of me!
- Hey!
Give me some four-by-fours!
- I think I know this guy.
- Stabilize his neck!
- Leave me alone, bitch!
- All right, that's it!
Once you get back
in the swing of things...
...you can resume a normal schedule
and do procedures again.
But until then, it's baby steps.
Why don't you start with Mr. Griffis?
Gluteal rash.
Nothing worse than a chapped ass,
or so I'm told.
- Dr. Carter, when did you get out?
- A couple weeks ago.
- Well, I got a patient.
- Go forth and heal.
So who's watching
the drugstore cowboy?
I'm head of the ER.
That makes Carter my responsibility.
But didn't he develop
his drug addiction...
- ... under your eye?
- Something you need?
Do I need a reason to say hello?
But now that I'm here,
perhaps you can tell me...
...who replaced the candy in the vending
machines with raisins and rice cakes?
You're here because you need
a sugar fix?
We're a hospital. We're setting an
example by offering healthy snacks.
Who are you, the nutrition n*zi? Poor
eating habits help keep us in business.
- Did you even take the Hippocratic oath?
- I had my fingers crossed.
- Dr. Romano?
- Dr. Chen.
Well, I guess I don't have to ask
what you've been up to.
- Look, I need a favor.
- If it's taking time off, talk to Weaver.
Maternity leave is a topic
for those bearing ovaries.
No. It's about my parents.
I figured you'd run into them
at the conference.
- I'll say hello.
- Well, actually...
...I haven't told them I'm pregnant yet.
I'd appreciate your not saying anything.
- I want to surprise them.
- How?
By going into labor at Sunday dinner?
"Mom's" the word.
Just a little longer, Mr. Griffis.
I've already been here three hours.
How long is this gonna take?
- What are you doing here?
- Looking for Weaver.
She's under the impression
I'm her personal temp.
- She's next door.
- Thanks.
Is somebody gonna dig this wood
out of my butt before it sprouts roots?
Would you mind, before you go,
removing some splinters?
Can't you do it?
Weaver won't let me use
any instruments.
Okay. Sure. Just a minute.
You need an ortho surgeon
for a closed reduction.
I've been paging them for half an hour.
Call the Attending,
tell them you're Weaver.
- That usually will scare somebody down.
- Excuse me. Dr. Greene?
I've got a -year-old who got hit
in the larynx with his skateboard.
- He's pretty hoarse.
- Any sub-Q emphysema?
No. Everything's okay.
No stridor, good sats,
he's handling secretions.
- He woke up with pain.
- Visualize his cords?
Well, our scope is being serviced.
I paged Head and Neck,
but I've been waiting three hours.
Yes, it's moved to
the lower right quadrant. Yes.
We have to scope him.
Call the Attending.
Well, I tried, but they're either
in surgery or at some damn conference.
He's too sick for a jump test!
Hold on one second.
Dave, do you have a problem?
Stewart's had two days
of vomiting and diarrhea.
Corday says it's not a good story
for an appy.
But now he's got classic signs:
guarding and rebound tenderness.
- Did you tell her that?
- Yeah, but she won't come down.
She wants me to make
this poor guy get up and jump around!
Thanks, Elizabeth.
Follow me.
Where are we going?
Where are we going?
- Dr. Weaver, did you page me?
- Yes, Abby. Hi.
- I need those in Exam .
- Why am I here?
- We're short on nurses.
- I'm an OB nurse.
- Planning on going back to med school?
- Yes.
Then you might as well work in the ER.
You'll see more medicine here.
Right, but I-
I'm offering you
a learning opportunity...
...that'll put you ahead
when you come back as a student.
Which should only take me
about two more years.
It's really not so bad down here, Abby.
Yeah? Compared to what?
Excuse me. I'm having trouble
with my card key.
- What's the name?
- Dr. Peter Benton.
You're not on the list.
I just became a Surgical Attending.
You're gonna have to park
on the street.
- I'll park in the visitors' area.
- No, you said you work here.
Employees can't park
in visitor spaces.
Well, if I'm an employee,
then you have to let me in.
I can't. You're not on the list.
You've got a corneal abrasion.
You mean pinkeye?
No. You've got a scratch
on your eyeball.
Probably some dirt got trapped
under the eyelid there.
How on earth would that happen?
I don't know.
Maybe the wind blew it in.
Well, the last time I was in here
they said I had pinkeye.
And crabs.
I think I might have them again.
Well, why don't we treat
one thing at a time?
I'm gonna get antibiotics and put them
in your eye so it doesn't get infected.
- Will it stop the hurting?
- We'll get you something for the pain.
- Am I gonna get a patch?
- I'll see what I can do.
- Hello.
- Elizabeth.
Have you gone downstairs
to see that ruptured appy yet?
I thought it was a rule-out.
That was minutes ago.
I'm sure it's ruptured by now.
I told you there's a surgical conference,
and we're jammed.
If Dr. Malucci fails to give me
a good enough story-
I gave you a great story for an appy.
When we call for a consult,
we need you to do just that.
Well, thank you for the clarification.
- What's this?
- Some things we need downstairs.
Well, these "things" belong to the O.R.
The surgeons can bring them back once
they come down to the ER to use them.
Hello. I'm Dr. Chen.
So, Willie, it says here
that you're having earaches.
Yeah.
Could you take off your hat
so I can have a look?
- Gee! What happened?
- I couldn't stop the bleeding.
- Who did this to you?
- I did.
- With what?
- Kitchen shears.
On purpose?
- Didn't it hurt?
- What do you think?
I tried to numb it with ice,
but they're still pretty sore.
Yeah, I bet.
Now, why would you give yourself
Doberman ears?
- They're Vulcan.
- Is that like a Shih Tzu?
No, I think he means like Mr. Spock.
On Star Trek.
Right, right...
Okay.
We'll irrigate the wounds,
wrap them in saline gauze.
Give him a DT
and run in a gram of Ancef.
- Psych consult?
- Yes. And I'll call Plastics.
Psych? Wait a second.
But I'm not crazy.
You mutilated yourself
with kitchen shears.
How long is it gonna take?
The sci-fi convention's today.
- I'm already running pretty late.
- We're moving at warp speed here.
- Hey, I got a present for you.
- What?
One fiber-optic laryngoscope,
compliments of the O.R.
- Where did you get this?
- You're better off not knowing.
So you pick out a name
for the little bambino yet?
No.
Let me get that.
You planning on something Chinese
or a little bit more Western?
I haven't given it much thought.
- Hey, you got a minute?
- Sure.
Got a corneal abrasion
that needs Vicodin...
...and I'm not allowed to write for it.
Yeah, I'll take it. There's an otitis
in Exam you can have.
He presents it as pinkeye.
- But all he needs is the meds.
- Okay.
And wear this mask, because
he's pretty rank, and he's got crabs.
Are you going soft on me, Carter?
God! It looks like I missed a few things
while I was away.
Yeah.
- So how far along are you?
- Twenty-four weeks.
- Was this planned, or...
- No. Not particularly.
You know, I gotta run.
Sit still so the doctor can look
at your hand.
It hurts.
We'll give you medicine to make it better
but let us clean out the germs first.
Irrigate the wound
and start him on Augmentin.
- Gloria, this looks like a human bite.
- His Uncle Charlie bit him.
- Did you call Social Services?
- That's Uncle Charlie.
- Albert's my grandson. Charlie's mine.
- You're babysitting?
/ for the past two years,
if you call that babysitting.
Her daughter got involved with someone
with a drug problem.
She got pregnant. I got Albert.
- How long have you had that cough?
- A couple months.
It comes and goes.
- Do you smoke?
- Yeah.
But I go outside.
I don't light up around the kids.
Okay. I'd like to get a chest x-ray.
I'm fine. I just need you
to look at Albert's hand.
It'll only take a few minutes.
As long as you're here.
- What about Albert and Charlie?
- I can take them to Daycare.
- You don't have to do that.
- It's not a problem.
Come on. Let's go to the playroom.
I'll get a PA and a lateral chest
on Gloria.
Okay, let's go.
Thanks.
Grandma! Grandma!
Uncle Charlie bit the nurse!
Is everything gone crazy?
I can't log on to the system.
Forget your password?
- Dr. Romano!
- Peter, you're still here.
I had problems getting into the garage.
Now I can't get onto the computer.
- You didn't get my letter?
- What letter?
- Your privileges have been revoked.
- What?
Yeah, you remember that
dialysis patient of yours?
Fletcher, that's right.
Your tattletaling to the inspector
general cost me a $ , fine...
- ... which my insurance doesn't cover.
- I was looking out for my patient.
You also cost the hospital
an EMTALA fine.
I had to recoup those monies
somewhere.
I was forced to eliminate
the Attending position.
Hold on. We can't talk
about this in private?
Why? You didn't seem to feel the need
to talk in private about our problem.
You just decided to go off on your own.
So now you are.
- So, what is my position here?
- You have no position here, Peter.
- You're f*ring me?
- No, no, no.
You fired yourself.
Hey, Cleo. How are you at getting
insects out of little boys' ears?
Keep him still.
I'll get to him in a minute.
I brought her in with a sore throat.
That was three weeks ago.
She's still not getting any better.
- Where are we?
- I see tonsilar exudates.
- What's that?
- Excuse me.
- It's pus.
- Gross.
Yeah. It looks like strep.
Did you take all the medication
the doctor prescribed?
- Yes.
- She can't miss any more school.
I'm going to order a couple of tests
to rule out other infections.
Rapid strep, mono spot,
Gram's stain and culture?
- That'll do it. Thanks.
- Yep.
Abby, can you find a room
for Mr. Duncan here?
Sure. Excuse me.
I need you to suture a head lac, Abby.
- I can't do that now. I'm a nurse.
- I forgot.
- Can you clean it up for me?
- In a minute.
Abby, just the person I wanted to see.
Bear att*ck.
I've got businessmen
with food poisoning.
sh**t them up with Compazine
and plug them into IVs.
You might want to call Housekeeping
for some buckets.
- Buckets?
- It was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
- Anybody else need anything?
- If I'm being arrested, I get a phone call.
- You'll get it.
- There's a phone upstairs.
- Why are you letting them move him?
- He's wanted for m*rder.
Lucky I recognized him.
- Once a cop, always a cop.
- This is not a police department.
They can observe him in the jail ward.
If people don't feel safe,
they'll stop coming...
...when they need medical attention.
- Only the criminals.
- I'm not talking to you.
I think we're done here, Frank.
- I was still observing him.
- Freaking liberal foreigners.
It's my decision to transfer or not.
He's a thr*at to patients and staff.
He needs to be in custody.
That's my decision.
Hey, it's not so bad down here.
I'm gonna give you some antibiotics.
But the next time
that you want to pierce your nipples...
...go to a professional, okay?
- You almost finished? I need the bed.
- Yeah.
- Hey, how's it going?
- Great.
Actually, it sucks.
I'm not allowed to do anything.
Well...
Easy does it?
- You might want to give yourself time.
- Time and scut. I got plenty of both.
- It could be worse.
- How's that?
Did you have to pluck maggots
out of anybody's crotch today?
- I had a guy with crabs.
- That's not even close.
- Anything interesting on the big board?
- A UTI in Exam .
I was hoping for something more
than a bladder infection.
- There are no small patients, Carter.
- What about dwarves?
- You've known Jing-Mei for a while.
- I knew her before she was Jing-Mei.
So do you know
who got her pregnant?
- Even if I did, I don't know if I'd tell you.
- That's not a definitive no.
You two haven't been...
Yeah.
Sometimes this medicine
can give you muscle spasms.
Don't worry. That's easily reversed
with Benadryl.
And I'm sure you'll all feel much better
after you're rehydrated. Okay?
- Abby, you need a hand in here?
- Everything's under control.
How did you become paralyzed?
I was hit by a car.
On my bike. I would've been k*lled
if I wasn't wearing a helmet.
- You were lucky.
- You know, I didn't used to think so.
But now I come to the hospital,
and I see kids way worse off than me.
It says on your chart you think you
might have a urinary tract infection.
Does it burn when you pee?
I don't know.
I don't feel much below my waist.
But I can feel pressure on my stomach
when I need to go.
That's when I know
to catheterize myself.
And how often do you do that?
About every six to eight hours.
But lately I've been having
to do it more...
...which is usually a sign
I have an infection.
- You put in your own catheters?
- My grandmother used to help me.
She passed away in February.
- Who takes care of you now?
- I live in a retirement home.
It used to be me
and my grandmother...
...and now it's just me.
I know that sounds really lame.
But it's across the street
from my school...
...and some of the old folks don't get
a lot of visits from their families.
It's kind of like having
grandparents.
Yeah, it is.
Okay. You might need
some antibiotics.
I'm gonna have a nurse come in
and get a urine sample.
That's okay. I can do it myself.
I'm used to doing stuff like that myself.
I'm gonna have a nurse
come in and help, okay?
I seem to be a magnet
for the weird ones today.
Why? What's up with this guy?
Where did this water come from?
Mr. Kamatovik, what did I tell you?
I found him soaking his blanket
in the sink.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to make a mess.
- Mr. Kamatovik, why is your blanket wet?
- I was afraid I was gonna burn.
I have a family history of spontaneous
human combustion.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I gotta stay wet, or I'm gonna go up
like a Roman candle.
Get that oxygen away unless you want
this whole place to explode!
Mr. Kamatovik, please just sit and relax.
I'll turn off the oxygen in the hall.
Dr. Chen...
Let's get Mr. Kamatovik started
on a flame-retardant saline...
...and get somebody
from the special burn unit.
Yes. Okay.
Don't worry, Mr. Kamatovik.
We've got you covered. Okay?
Hey, chief!
- Malucci, you okay?
- Yeah. There's a multi-trauma coming in.
A causeway collapsed
at a sci-fi convention. I'm good.
Spin a crit, dip a urine. C-spine,
chest and pelvis. I'll be right there.
- You okay, Cleo?
- So far, so good.
We had to double up. First one's
a forearm fracture from falling concrete.
- Open or closed?
- Closed. The neuro-circ is intact.
Got a -centimeter scalp lac.
No LOC. Olbes got a bad one in .
- What's this?
- Looks like a dislocated shoulder.
- Neck pain with mid-line tenderness.
- BP, / . Pulse, .
- You got it?
- Yeah.
Where do you need me?
Triage the most critical patients
to the beds.
You got it.
-year-old man, crushed pelvis,
fell at least feet.
Danny. Danny, where is he?
- Who's Danny?
- He's my brother.
- He was next to me.
- I think Morales got him.
He didn't want to go today.
I made him.
- Danny.
- Looks like a bad tib-fib.
- Please, don't let him die.
- Let's take care of you first, sir.
What's your name?
Sir? Sir, open your eyes.
- Losing the pulse.
- Okay, let's go.
Blunt chest trauma, tachy at .
Decreased breath sounds
on the left. Abby?
I said we could handle one major.
They've got critical patients
on scene.
I told them we'd take three major
and minor.
How can we,
if we don't have any surgeons?
We can stabilize and triage them
one at a time.
I hope that we can, Mark.
Frank, page the surgeons.
- They're at the conference.
- Page them.
- Hey, can I help?
- No.
- You're slammed.
- All the more reason...
...for you to take the minor medicals.
No trauma.
- Dr. Weaver, we need you in Trauma .
- Let's take him to Curtain Area .
Give me the greatest hits.
-year-old male. Walkway fell.
Crushed his right foot under a girder.
- What's wrong?
- Open fracture.
Bleeding through the perineum.
- Pressure's down to .
- I'll put in a central line.
- How's the other patient?
- They're putting in a chest tube.
Elizabeth, you should go check
on him.
I can't leave this patient.
Where's Peter?
- Didn't Romano fire him?
- What?
No, I saw him earlier.
Try paging him.
- Go on. I can handle this.
- He needs a MAST suit inflated...
...a suprapubic Foley, and either a
pelvic embolization or a external fixator.
You can't do all of that.
I'm not leaving until he's stable.
The other patient has a blunt chest
trauma. He might be bleeding out.
If he is, I'm sure Dr. Kovac
will come get me.
- Get me a - nylon and an OpSite.
- Got it.
Tell Mark Greene
we are closed to trauma!
Urine dip is negative for blood.
Hemoglobin's . .
- Get him a unit bed.
- Working on it.
- Third liter of saline up at : .
- Pressure's down to . Tachy at .
I have some breath sounds on the left.
of etomidate, of Norcuron.
I'll intubate. Abby, prep
for a chest tube on the left.
- Suction.
- Open a Steri-Drape.
Too much edema.
I need the fiber-optic scope.
- Abby, put in the chest tube.
- I can't. I'm a nurse.
- This guy needs a chest tube.
- You're gonna have to do it.
It's a tough intubation.
You know how.
Go!
Ten blade.
Hey, hey! Get back in bed,
Mr. Kamatovik.
You're not supposed to be here.
Are you feeling better?
There was probably a lot of dust.
It aggravated your asthma.
All right. of prednisone.
Repeat nebs in minutes.
It's like Mars att*cks in here.
-year-old male with hip pain.
BP's / , pulse, .
There's no obvious deformity.
Okay. Let's cut this off, please.
- No! Don't cut my costume!
- I need to take a look at your hip.
- The zipper's in the back.
- Fine. Unzip Zontar here.
Titrate of morphine and get
an AP pelvis and a right hip film.
- Where the hell is Benton?
- I think he quit.
We got a bad tib-fib fracture,
and he's losing foot pulses.
We gotta get him to the O.R.
We're short surgeons.
I thought we were closing to traumas.
- Too late for that now.
- I'll get Corday.
Liver and spleen look good.
Bleeding is limited to the pelvis.
We've got a patient with
probable compartment syndrome.
- Do your best to stabilize him.
- Then we need the digital Stryker.
- Call upstairs.
- No, no. It's under the sink.
Dr. Greene borrowed it from the O.R.
Stole it, more like.
Never mind. Let him use it. Just tell him
I want the results of the readings.
Systolics are down to .
Another two units of packed cells.
Dr. Weaver, cops are coming
to arrest your pneumonia mom.
- For what?
- For writing bad checks.
- Elizabeth, you okay for a minute?
- Yeah, go.
- Hey, did somebody get hurt?
- Yeah.
Did that nurse come in
and get the urine sample?
No. What happened?
A walkway collapsed
over at the Tarver Center.
Run two units O-neg on the rapid infuser.
Type and cross for four more.
- A lot of people got hurt.
- Yeah.
That's too bad. I bet they never
saw it coming. I sure didn't.
Okay. Let's get you up here.
I'm sorry. I would've cathed myself,
but I was waiting for the nurse.
It's okay. No big deal, Dennis.
I'll get to him in a minute, Carter.
That's all right, I got this.
They need you in the trauma rooms.
- You sure?
- Yeah, go.
You know, most doctors
don't like to do this stuff.
All right, let's get you out
of those wet clothes.
BP's stable at / .
It's increasing in all three compartments.
- His leg is cool.
- He's losing circulation to the foot.
Gloria, this is the Zithromax.
Take two tomorrow, then one a day
for the next four days.
Is something wrong?
The police are on their way
to pick you up.
- What?
- They have a warrant out for your arrest.
Sometimes I have to bounce a check
to buy some time.
But I usually pay everything off in time.
I've got two jobs.
I understand. Here we go.
Right this way.
Daycare- Honey, Daycare
is up this way. The fourth floor!
Thanks for everything!
- Kerry.
- Tell me that you're here to help out.
No, but I will take Mr. Kamatovik
to Psych once a bed's available.
I appreciate that, but we could
really use an extra pair of hands.
Sorry, we've got our own problems.
Tonight's a full moon.
Stop by later if you want.
It'll be like Mardi Gras.
Anterior compartment pressure is .
- That's not good.
- Normal is .
He needs a fasciotomy now.
- You're gonna do this?
- I did one in med school...
- ... on a cadaver.
- You can't do it down here.
If we don't,
he's gonna need an amputation.
Get Corday on the intercom.
- Dr. Corday?
- What is it?
- Got the pressures.
- An average reading: .
- I have to open the compartments.
- Yeah, well, we' re ready.
This guy's bleeding from his pelvis.
You'll have to wait.
Can't wait. We've lost foot pulses.
- Can you get another surgeon?
- No one's here.
You're gonna have
to talk me through this.
- Well, I don't think I can.
- You 're gonna have to, Elizabeth.
- Another -silk, please.
- What are you doing?
Sewing in a chest tube.
When I said you'd get more experience
down here, this is not what I meant.
Nurses do not sew in chest tubes.
Do they, Dr. Kovac?
- She knows how.
- Of course.
But our malpractice insurance
no longer covers her...
...doing anything outside the scope
of normal nursing practices.
We were short-handed. The patient
could have d*ed if she hadn't put it in.
You let her put in the chest tube?
It's your responsibility...
...if anything goes wrong!
- She did a great job.
- That's not the point.
- You should've called me.
- You were busy.
- Step back.
- I'm almost done.
Step back!
Get Corday some Pavulon.
I need some Pavulon.
- How's it going in there?
- I'll live.
Hey, do you know if we have
any extra-small scrubs in here?
Sure they'll fit you?
I got a paraplegic kid with a UTI
who just wet himself.
I want to give him something
to change into.
Well, don't ask me. I didn't even know
I was working here till today.
- I swear, I can't win with Weaver.
- Well, who can?
She drags me down here
claiming it's for my benefit...
...so I can get more experience,
but not too much.
- Talk to your nurse manager.
- Right.
Then Weaver completely hates me
if I ever come back as a med student.
- You'll come back.
- I don't know if I want to.
- This place is a freak show.
- It grows on you.
So does foot fungus.
Abby, give Mr. Palmer a CBC, urine dip,
myoglobin, and put in a Foley.
- Which one's Palmer?
- Three-hundred-pounder with blue skin.
Excellent. Fat and colorful.
Here.
Well, at least you got
something to do.
I'll trade you Jabba the Hutt for the UTI.
I said I was bored, not desperate.
- Corday's still waiting on that Pavulon.
- Right.
Your self-diagnosis was right on!
You got a urinary tract infection.
Hey, are these for me?
Well, you think like a doctor.
So you might as well dress like one.
I'll help you put those on
when I get back.
I'm writing you a prescription
for some Bactrim.
If you follow all the directions and take
all the pills, you'll be better in no time.
Do you think I could get some
extra catheters while I'm here?
- Sometimes they forget to order them.
- I think we can manage that.
- Really?
- Sure.
Thanks.
Here, I made this for you.
Hey, thanks. That's very cool.
It's supposed to look
like an F- Raptor.
- You like jets?
- Yeah, I wanted to be a pilot.
Now I make paper airplanes, but...
Will it fly?
Yeah.
Here. Check it out.
Frank? Where is Frank?
- Grow up, Malucci!
- What'd I do?
You got patients to treat.
- Lydia said you needed more Versed?
- Yeah. Try another two.
There's a lot of masseter spasm.
So when are we gonna meet Daddy?
The father of your baby.
Everybody's kind of curious.
How's he doing?
He's out.
You know, my pregnancy
is none of your business.
In fact, nothing remotely concerned
with my personal life...
...is anybody's business.
I just wanted to meet the lucky guy.
You do know who the father is, right?
Hey, I'm sorry.
I can't help myself sometimes.
There's something about seeing you
this way that I find very sexy.
- I'm gonna order a post-reduction film.
- Conscious-sedation protocol.
Somebody's gotta babysit
this guy until he wakes up.
Yeah? Well, I guess
that would be your job, Dave.
Thank you.
- Crap!
- What's wrong?
I've got a -year-old
with gonorrhea in her throat.
I gotta tell her
without her mother finding out.
- I'll take that.
- No, that's okay.
- You've got your hands full.
- I've got it.
Lateral incision. Start three finger
breadths below the fibular head.
Carry it down to
above the lateral malleolus.
How deep?
First incision just through
the skin and sub-Q.
Got it.
- Is there anything I can do?
- Yeah.
Get Elizabeth out here.
- What's next?
- Now, carefully...
...extend the incision through
the deep fascia of the anterior...
...and lateral compartment.
- What about the anterior tibial nerve?
- You should be okay.
Don't cut too deep,
and you'll stay superficial to it.
- How's he doing?
- Who? Mark or my patient?
I'm gonna need more type-specific.
Hey, Moira. Where's your mom?
She went to find you. She was getting
really pissed off waiting around.
- Well, it's good she's not here.
- Why?
- You have a sexually transmitted disease.
- What?
You contracted gonorrhea.
Wait, but that's impossible.
I've never even had sex. I'm a virgin.
- What about oral sex?
- That doesn't count.
God!
You and your boyfriend both
need to be treated with antibiotics.
He gave me gonorrhea in my throat?
Have you had any more partners?
I'm not a slut. I didn't even
want to do it in the first place.
Then don't.
You're not gonna tell my mom, right?
No. But you have to promise me
you're going to practice safe sex.
I thought I was.
Hello?
- Hey, it's me.
- Peter?
What are you doing home?
There was a surgical conference, so
elective surgery was canceled today.
I figured I'd come home
and hang out with Reese.
Being an Attending has its privileges.
Hey, man.
Reese, how are you?
What's happening?
What's this?
What you playing with?
Playing with your fire truck?
Want to be a fireman?
No? What's that?
Horse? Want to be a cowboy?
Looks like I'm gonna have
two doctors in the family.
How much longer
am I gonna have to wait?
- Someone will see you in a minute.
- I've been seen. She disappeared.
- Who's that?
- I don't know. Some black woman.
She came in, looked at my daughter's
throat three hours ago!
- What's your daughter's name?
- This is ridiculous!
- Mrs. Garvey.
- There she is.
- Where have you been? At lunch?
- I had some traumas come in.
I gave Moira her sh*t.
She's ready to go home.
- Three hours to get a needle.
- I'll be right there to discharge her.
- What did you say to her?
- Nothing. I don't even know who she is.
BP, , pulse, .
I'll be up in a little while
to put in a suprapubic catheter.
Tell the blood bank
to send the other two units upstairs.
- Hey, how's he doing?
- Pulses are bounding.
May I take a look?
Did you get your guy's pressure
back up?
Yeah, after eight units
of packed cells.
That's not bad for a first time.
Piece of cake
when you follow directions.
Yes, funny how I can talk you through
a complicated fasciotomy...
...but when I tell you to pick up
your socks, you ignore me.
I'm sorry, did you say something?
Dr. Dave: . Death: Zero.
- Nice job on triage, Dr. Malucci.
- Thanks a lot, chief.
I can't believe we didn't get
one penetrating chest trauma.
Hey, we got another one!
Greg Fulton, Exam .
Wanted for as*ault, battery
and indecent exposure.
- Hey!
- Sorry, Frank. This isn't working.
What? We made two arrests.
It would've been three
if that mother hadn't escaped.
- I think someone tipped her off.
- No more record checks on patients.
- What'd you do with my patient?
- Mr. Kamatovik?
I got him a bed, but he's gone AWOL.
Well, he can't have gotten too far.
- You look pretty good in scrubs.
- Can I keep them?
Sure.
Hey, I'll be right back.
Hey, Cleo.
- Was that your gonorrhea patient?
- Yep.
Did you manage to treat her
without Mom finding out?
Listen, I wasn't trying to step
in your toes...
when I offered to take the case,
I was just trying to help.
I know.
Hey, Cleo.
Do you have a problem
with me being here?
Of course not.
I told you. He's disappeared.
- What is this?
- Alcohol wipes.
He says he has to stay cool
to avoid spontaneous combustion.
Yeah. He begged me
to give him a Popsicle enema.
We settled for ice chips.
Mr. Kamatovik, are you in there?
Yes.
- All right. Come out so we can help you.
- I can't.
- I'm burning up. I need wet blankets.
- We can get you some upstairs.
- You want me to bring him out, chief?
- Please.
Mr. Kamatovik, open up.
- Somebody call the burn unit!
- Get a gurney!
This is a modified version of Ken
Blackburn's world-record design.
- You sure you want to launch it?
- It's folded paper until you let it fly.
- All right. Let it fly.
- All right.
- Wow!
- That looks like it could go on forever.
Theoretically, it could, if the wind kept
blowing and it kept finding up currents.
This is really cool.
I've never been up this high before.
- Looks like your ride is here.
- I'm out of airplanes anyway.
Thanks for bringing me up here,
Dr. Carter.
Make some more airplanes
and we can do it again sometime.
I'd like that.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- You were popular today, huh?
- I know.
What's that about?
I'm everybody's favorite nurse.
But that's the problem because as
a med student, I screwed up everything.
Everything. Things I could do
even with my eyes closed.
I think it's all in here.
You are a good nurse, Abby.
But you could be a great doctor.
You just need a little confidence.
Oh, my God! I'm sorry.
I can't believe I did that.
- Abby.
- Yeah?
You got a code brown
with Mr. Pozoni.
Again? Jeez.
How much can that guy eat?
I gotta go.
I'll see you later.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Peter, are you here?
I've been calling.
Why didn't you pick up?
- I didn't feel like talking.
- I went during my break.
Shirley said you'd been fired.
I guess the whole hospital
knows by now.
Why didn't you tell me?
Peter, I was worried. I called Jackie.
She said you had been gone for hours.
- What did you tell her?
- I didn't tell her anything...
...except I didn't have any idea
where you were.
What happened?
Peter?
You can tell me.
Romano got hit with a big EMTALA fine
over the Fletcher case.
Good. He deserves it.
Yeah. Well, now he's taking it
out on me.
- Maybe he's just blowing off steam.
- No, I've seen him do that.
This time he's serious.
Talk to somebody.
- Call Anspaugh.
- Tell him what?
Tell him Romano is a r*cist,
sexist, elitist jackass.
Cleo, he knows that.
You're an excellent surgeon, Peter.
And you're a good man,
and we'll work it out.
- How's it going?
- My day got better. You?
Yeah, I think so.
It was like the guy just went up in
flames. You should have seen it.
Hey, Carter, you ever see
spontaneous human combustion?
- No, Dave. It doesn't exist.
- I was there. I saw it.
- No lighter, no matches, no nothing.
- I went on a missing persons call once.
All we found was this gal's legs,
the rest of her b*rned to a crisp.
But that chair she was sitting in-
Barely singed.
So, Carter, how was
your first day back?
It was good. A little slow.
- Glad to hear it. Finished up?
- Yeah. I am officially out of here.
Just one last thing to do.
Sure.
- You coming with me?
- That's the rules.
Sorry, I have to witness
the entire process.
Trust me. It's no treat for me either.
- Seen any good movies lately?
- No.
You want me to run
some water or something?