Previously on E.R.
How much of your brain
did they cut out?
He has a mild expressive aphasia.
- It's temporary.
- I don't like it.
- This is just gonna be between us, right?
- Of course.
The only reason you gave me that job
is because I'm black.
Lupus is very serious.
I know what it does, Dr. Kovac.
I even know I'm gonna die from it.
I need information about
evaluating a physician...
...who's possibly cognitively impaired.
You asleep?
Cleo?
Cleo?
You asleep?
It's snowing outside.
What time is it?
Almost .
You know, I was thinking...
I have to be in at .
The alarm's going off in minutes.
I'll be quick.
The hell you will.
- You feel it?
- No.
There.
It's really moving. How long
has she been going on like this?
On and off all night.
Go back to sleep.
I keep thinking about that movie.
Alien, you know?
It's moving around under his skin...
...and then, all of a sudden,
it breaks its way through with its teeth.
Amanda, stop it.
You're scaring your mother.
Amanda.
So the baby's a girl today.
Or Matthew, after my grandfather.
I can't decide.
Last day?
Last day.
What?
It's okay.
Hi.
Did I wake you?
I was trying to let you sleep.
I should probably get home anyway.
You should bring a few things over.
I could clear out
some closet space for you.
- Are you sure you can spare it?
- I can find a couple of inches...
...somewhere, maybe.
I need to dry my hair.
Are you gonna watch me again?
Are you okay?
And you?
Penny for your thoughts.
- Pardon?
- It means...
It means,
"What are you thinking about? "
Nothing, really.
I was thinking about the bishop.
Making love with me makes you
think of a priest with lupus?
You watch me when we make love.
You're beautiful.
What was her name?
Who?
Your wife.
Daniella.
Did you love her very much?
Yeah.
I'm glad.
E.R.
Carter, -year-old boy's
coming in from preschool.
Fever, trouble breathing.
Sixty-two's pulling in.
Okey-dokey.
Hey, Frank.
Is Dr. Greene here yet?
No. Said he was coming in late.
Weaver's upstairs at some
big administrative powwow.
Probably suggesting the installation
of pay toilets in the bathrooms.
Is Kovac here?
He's got a dead shovel
they're trying to bring back.
It's just you and me, then,
with this -year-old.
I can take it.
- Welcome back!
- Thanks.
- How are you feeling?
- Pretty good.
- Want me to tag along with you?
- No. I've got it.
Eight weeks.
Could be some cobwebs.
Thanks, anyway.
- Call me if she gets into any trouble.
- Okay.
You look great.
I still have a few pounds to drop.
- Can't tell.
- I should have gotten a coat.
- Grab one.
- No, I'm all right.
Zack Woodman, years old.
Post grand mal seizure at preschool.
We were finishing crafts, and
he started shaking and wet his pants.
- You his mother?
- No. Preschool teacher.
Feels like he's burning up.
BP's / . Pulse, .
- Does he have a history of epilepsy?
- Not that I know of.
- Zack, open your eyes. Zack-
- Excuse me. Can somebody help me?
- Are you hurt?
- It's not me. He's in the car.
He's very weak.
I don't think he can walk on his own.
Abby?
- What's wrong?
- He's having trouble breathing.
- Has he been ill?
- Yes.
When did this start?
I don't know.
A couple hours ago, I guess.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Can you walk?
- I don't think so.
I need a septic workup, CBC, blood
and urine cultures, chest x-ray.
- Temp's .
- Sorry.
- The bishop's back.
- I need a weight.
Blue zone, kilos.
milligrams of rectal Tylenol.
- Pulse ox, .
- Put him on a mask, liters.
Do you want to do a spinal tap?
He could have meningitis.
Or a febrile seizure,
and he's gonna wake up.
- Why don't I get an LP tray?
- I want to wait a few minutes.
Give of cefotaxime
after the cultures.
Well, I love what you've done
with the place. Very Teutonic.
No trappings of success
to interfere...
...with your performing
your new duties.
I requisitioned some furniture...
...but the form's on your desk
waiting for your signature.
Well, you should see my in-box.
Must be inches deep.
- Are those admissions folders?
- Yeah.
I thought I'd familiarize
myself with them.
Don't bother. Kids are gonna toss out...
clichés about wanting to help people.
You could ask their favorite color,
or if they like cheese. Doesn't matter.
Step outside a minute, would you?
He showed up whining
about not getting an interview.
You should shake his hand,
since this falls under your purview...
...before you have Security
toss him out.
Hey. That's your man.
- Dean Benton?
- Dr. Benton.
William White.
Thanks for finding time to see me.
Yeah. Well, what can I do for you?
I got this letter.
I applied to the medical school.
But I didn't get an interview.
Teacher doesn't have a signed
emergency consent form.
- He's still not waking up.
- How long?
- Forty minutes.
- Zack? Zack, can you hear me?
- He needs an LP.
- We don't have parental consent.
Get another doc
to sign off the chart with you.
Okay. Get the tray set up.
- Frank, where's Carter?
- In . Granny took a fall.
Can I see you for a moment?
Sure.
I've got that -year-old
with febrile seizure.
He's still altered.
I wanna do a spinal tap.
The preschool doesn't have
an emergency consent.
Haven't been able
to contact a parent.
- Any other signs?
- X-ray looks like viral pneumonia.
I can't assess for a stiff neck,
but there is photophobia.
Where do you want me to sign?
Oxygen saturation's only .
- What should it be?
- Hundred.
Seventy-eight sounds
like a passing grade.
Barely.
Put him up to four liters.
CBC, blood cultures, ABG,
sed rate and a portable chest.
Hang a gram of cefotaxime
in case it's pneumonia.
Pneumonia? I don't
even feel like I have a fever.
The steroids prevent you
from having fevers.
And push of Solu-Medrol.
You're giving me more steroids?
You could have a flare of the lupus
with inflammation in the lung.
There's also a chance
that you are throwing blood clots.
Lupus makes your blood
coagulate more easily.
Have you called your own doctor?
No.
- I'll call him.
- No.
Why? Because you think
I'm easier to manipulate?
I'm not nearly as Machiavellian
as you imagine me to be.
I came here
because I prefer your care.
How's it going?
Easy tap when they're unconscious.
Looks pretty clear.
- Cute kid. What's his name?
- Zack.
Cell count, glucose, protein,
Gram's stain and culture.
He's got those shoes that light up
when you walk. How do they do that?
- Want to roll him back over?
- What is that?
- What?
- That.
You didn't tell me
he had a macular rash.
It wasn't there half an hour ago.
- It must be a viral exanthem.
- It could be measles.
- Measles?
- Yeah.
Fever, altered mental status,
pneumonia.
More likely,
he has a virus with pneumonia...
...and had a febrile seizure
from the high temperature.
That is a classic measles rash.
Abby, can you hand me
a tongue depressor?
- Have you ever seen measles?
- No. You?
Of course not.
Nobody's seen measles.
Can you...?
He's got Koplik spots
on the buccal mucosa.
What?
Or he bit the inside of his mouth
when he was seizing.
There's a Nelson's in the lounge.
Can you grab it, please?
Now.
- Is Zack all right?
- This is Mrs. Woodman.
I was in court. I have to turn off
my cell in session. My God!
I'm Dr. Chen. Your son had a seizure
and a high temperature.
We've done a spinal tap
to rule out meningitis.
- Are Zack's immunizations up-to-date?
- No.
Has he had the MMR?
He hasn't had any immunizations.
None of our children have.
- I got it.
- Abby, put a mask on Zack.
What's the matter?
- What's happening?
- Get him into the Laminar Flow Room.
Call the school.
Don't let anybody leave.
What's the matter with my son?
- Your son has measles.
- That's not too bad, right?
One in kids die from measles.
Frank, I'm taking
the Luiz kid up now.
Please send along the films
when you find them again, will you?
Yes, ma'am.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- So how'd it go?
- Fine.
Fine? That's it?
I laid down, they sh*t...
a couple billion more rads
into my skull, and then I left.
And that's it.
Hopefully, my irradiated head
won't screw up...
...any navigational equipment
on our next flight.
All right, all right.
I have to go.
- Lunch?
- If I can. Come find me.
Okay.
So did I hear right? You're done?
Radiation treatment. Just two
more weeks of immune therapy.
- Dr. Greene?
- Yeah?
That's great. Did they
give you the tumor back?
When they took it out,
did they give it back to you?
Because my uncle Al,
he's got his on a mantle in a jar.
Guy over there wants to talk to you.
You know, Dave, I don't really
want a tumor on my mantle.
Hi. Dr. Greene. Can I help you?
Robert Wilson. Is there
some place we could talk?
- Actually, I'm on duty.
- It'd be better if we had some privacy.
- I'm sorry, Mr...
- Dr. Wilson.
Dr. Wilson. What is it?
I work for the Illinois Department
of Professional Regulation.
We've been asked
to evaluate your competency...
...to continue practicing medicine.
- Where in the hell did he catch measles?
- Europe, I think.
Mom was in Paris two weeks ago,
took the whole family.
She some fringe lunatic thinks
immunizations are a conspiracy...
...between doctors
and drug companies?
I don't think so.
Find out if there are
other kids at home...
...where the child's been, who he's
had contact with over the last week.
How is he?
They won't let me back there.
We moved him to a room
with special ventilation...
...so he doesn't contaminate
the rest of the ER.
- Is he awake?
- He's still unconscious.
He has pneumonia.
And, in all likelihood, encephalitis.
- What's that?
- Inflammation around the brain.
- Did you call the preschool?
- Yes. All the children are there.
Make sure they've all
been immunized.
Their parents, their siblings,
anyone they've been in contact with.
There's a phone at the desk. Tell Frank
that Dr. Carter said you could use it.
Please.
You have other children?
A daughter. I called my husband.
He's coming with her.
And she hasn't been
immunized either?
No. Is Zack gonna be okay?
Well, he's in grave condition
with a highly contagious disease.
I'm not an irresponsible parent.
I read all the literature on the Internet,
the parenting magazines.
- I discussed it with my pediatrician.
- He didn't recommend the MMR?
Zack's immune system could have
been weakened from vaccinations.
The immune system
is strengthened by vaccines.
- Kids are exposed to foreign antigens.
- Vaccines aren't completely safe.
- I'm sorry-
- They aren't, and you know it.
The connection between
vaccinations and autism-
There is no connection.
Dr. Carter, Zack dropped his sats.
He's at at percent.
He's getting cyanotic.
I've already started the atropine.
Etomidate and sux. I need a - uncuffed
ET and a number curved blade.
What's going on?
There's so much lung damage that
oxygen can't get into his bloodstream.
- What are you doing?
- Trying to get him more oxygen.
He needs a machine to breathe?
If we don't intubate him,
he's gonna die.
- I'll do it.
- I got it.
Not on your first day back.
Step out.
- What?
- Step out! Give me some suction.
- He's throwing PVCs.
- Oh, my God!
Come on.
- Okay, I got it.
- Good breath sounds bilaterally.
Pulse ox up to .
Tidal volume of , AC of .
Let's keep him on percent
with three of PEEP.
- He's okay now?
- Yeah, sure. He's great.
Is that the bishop's?
- He says he's feeling better.
- The oxygen and the medication.
So he'll be able to perform
the ordination this afternoon?
What?
That's where we were headed
when he became ill in the car.
A kid that he baptized
at his first parish...
...is being ordained as a priest today.
Where do you think you're going?
I feel much better.
Your ABG shows
an oxygen level of .
And your sed rate is .
Eighty-four. Is that good?
No, it's not good!
It's an indication of active lupus!
Stop buttoning that damn shirt.
Is Joe still outside? I think I'm gonna
need help getting into these pants.
You need to be admitted
to the ICU for IV Cytoxan.
Only a couple of hours.
If the inflammation
in your lungs continues...
...you won't get enough oxygen
to stay alive.
If I skip the reception,
I can be back here by .
You'll be dead by !
- It's in God's hands.
- God could give a damn!
Is there something I should sign...
...so I can go?
- You're kidding! Stephanie?
- She just up and moved to Seattle.
- I thought she was living with Deborah.
- No. She met a stewardess.
Another stewardess!
Hey, we were just looking for you.
This is Christy.
Christy, Kerry.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Christy and I were having coffee.
- I insisted that she bring me here.
I'm sorry, but a bunch of us were
beginning to question your existence.
We were thinking about having
dinner tonight. You game?
I can't get off in time.
But thank you for asking.
I checked your schedule.
You get off at .
Don't worry. Nobody bites.
Chief, can I get you to sign off
on this LOL? Head CT's clear.
- : ?
- Okay.
- Great. We'll see you then.
- Bye.
That Legaspi's girlfriend?
I heard she's gay.
I don't know.
What I wouldn't pay to drop in
on that little party, huh?
You turned me in?
A guy from the medical board's
questioning my competency.
- Don't walk away!
- I'm not.
I don't wanna have this
conversation in the lobby.
He wants to see my medical records.
He's planning on interviewing the staff
to see if I'm fit to practice medicine.
He can pull my license!
I'm concerned about your personality
changes since the surgery.
I tried to talk to you,
but you've chosen to ignore me.
- So you call in the licensing board-?
- Keep your voice down.
They cut a tumor out of my head.
I'm sorry if I seem
a little different to you.
I wouldn't come back to work
if I couldn't do the job.
- What about the aphasia?
- It's getting better.
If you couldn't think of the name
of the drug you wanted ordered...
...the nurses ask questions
while the patient dies?
- Nobody's dying!
- You've been insensitive and argumentative.
- I have not!
- You have been sh**ting from the hip.
I'm not the only one
who's expressed concern.
For the safety of the patients...
...I felt I had to call the board
for an objective assessment.
I want you to pass,
so we can all get back to work...
...confident in your abilities. Okay?
Rich people think if poor kids are
immunized, then they don't have to be.
I thought it stopped snowing.
If everybody stops
getting vaccines...
...then smallpox will be back,
polio, measles.
Then they'll be lined up begging us...
to stick a needle into little Annie's arm.
Fifty-year-old male
with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
Persistent nausea and vomiting
despite Compazine.
BP's / . Pulse, .
Mucous membranes very dry.
Gave a liter of saline en route.
He only finished the chemotherapy
last week. Is the cancer back?
No. He's probably having
a reaction to the chemo.
- How's the boy?
- Which one?
The kid with the febrile seizure.
- You brought him in?
- Couple hours ago.
- They didn't call you?
- About?
Measles. You drove an immunosuppressed
patient in the same rig?
- What does that mean?
- Nobody told us!
I'll need a CBC and a Chem- .
Watch your step.
Excuse me.
I need to review a file of an applicant
who wasn't given an interview.
And you are?
Peter Benton.
I'm the new director of diversity.
- Lucky you. This year?
- Yeah.
It'd be in the reject pile.
What's the name?
White. William White.
We had over applications
for spots.
Big pile.
Director of diversity, huh?
That position's a little quixotic
around here these days.
My David wouldn't be with Morgan
Stanley without affirmative action.
William Jackson White.
Thank you.
Excuse me. Do you keep files of
past candidates that were accepted?
I need to compare them.
Compare to last year's acceptances.
They're over there by graduating year.
is on the right.
Student Affairs.
Fax it over.
I'll be looking for it.
Student Affairs.
What are you doing out here?
Just getting some air.
What's the matter?
- How's your bishop?
- He just left.
That's good, right?
He's having an acute lupus flare.
He left AMA.
So go get him.
Take some oxygen,
make sure he's okay.
He knew what he was doing.
I'm not his keeper.
- So this is you, huh?
- Yep.
Could use a little something.
What is that back there?
My room with a view.
Cafeteria kitchen.
Vending machine only had
turkey and egg salad. No veggie.
Thank you.
Hear about our measles kid downstairs?
Four years old, parents didn't vaccinate.
- What's all this?
- Med school applications.
Thinking about starting over?
Is this your file?
This black kid applied
and didn't get an interview.
I went to Records to find out why
and found that.
- Yeah? Anything interesting?
- Yeah. My file wasn't with the rest.
It was in the back with three
others filed under AA.
Affirmative Action.
- That surprised you?
- Hell, yeah!
Look, my grades were good.
My MCAT scores were competitive.
Yeah, but when I compared it
to the other applicants...
...that were accepted that year,
I shouldn't have gotten in.
You're an excellent physician.
They were right to let you in.
Yeah?
This is the kid's file that didn't
even get an interview this year.
William White.
His grades, his MCAT scores,
they're better than mine were.
Bishop Stewart?
Damn it!
I'm okay.
How long have you been
having trouble breathing?
I'm just gathering my strength.
You have to go to the hospital.
It's pretty, isn't it?
The snow.
So much beauty.
Where's the phone?
I need to call an ambulance.
No. Please, I only need a minute.
You're dying.
Evidently.
As I was sitting here, I was reminded
of the night I chose to become a priest.
I'd been struggling with it
for a long time.
Several years.
Anyway, that night, I couldn't sleep.
So I got up
and went out for a walk...
...in the woods
behind my father's house.
It was snowing like it is now.
I don't have any idea how long I walked.
At a certain point, I suddenly realized
I didn't know which way to go.
I'd gotten lost. I was frightened.
As I looked up
into that dark night...
...he came to me.
I saw all those millions of snowflakes
drifting down toward me.
So still.
So peaceful.
Perfect.
And I was filled with the love
of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Like pouring wine
into an empty glass.
I'm afraid...
...I may have wasted my life.
For some reason, I never
accomplished the things I should have.
What God wanted of me.
And now I'm frightened.
I'm afraid of dying.
There. I said it.
I am afraid to die.
You have to go to the hospital.
The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures.
He leadeth me
beside the still waters.
Is he all right?
- No.
- Yes.
The procession is forming.
What should I tell them?
Tell them...
...I think I have to skip
the processional.
When did you lose your faith?
I've found with most people,
it comes and goes.
Like intimacy in a relationship.
Sometimes it's so strong,
a passion, rapture.
And then at other times
it's impossible, distant, lost.
But that's not God. That's us.
We put up our own barriers
with our egos...
...and our pain.
He's always there.
No matter what.
Bach.
I love Bach.
Well...
...that's my cue.
So, Kevin, why do you
want to be a doctor?
I've given that question
a great deal of thought.
I think it all boils down to one thing:
I really want to help people.
My dad d*ed of lung cancer...
...and I was .
I vowed I would work for a cure.
My research in molecular biology
has been very rewarding.
We'll see gene therapy
in our lifetime.
I'm a people person.
The bottom line is,
I really want to help people.
I volunteered for the Pediatrics ward.
I'm very empathetic.
When I saw my kitty suffering like that,
I knew that I had a calling.
To help people in their time of need.
You have to combine
humanistic skills-
With a passion
for making a difference.
I really just wanna help people.
- I just wanna help people.
- I wanna help people.
Help people.
How dare you? Damn it, Kerry!
They sawed off half his skull.
They inserted high-dosage chemotherapy
wafers into the empty cavity.
It caused temporary swelling
right next to Broca's.
Of course he had a little aphasia.
But that was six weeks ago.
The swelling's gone down,
and he's back to normal.
If anything, I find his honesty
rather refreshing.
We could all do
with more candor here.
Candidly speaking then, are you sure
that you can be objective about this?
Of course I'm not objective!
I've been with him every moment,
and I can tell you...
...he's making remarkable progress
and is no danger to anyone.
Except perhaps easily threatened,
minor demigods.
He may be endangering patients.
I'm not unsympathetic
to his circumstances...
...but I have larger responsibilities.
It's despicable, and you
should be ashamed of yourself.
I hope that you end up with a
possibly fatal illness one day...
...so that I can do absolutely
nothing to help you.
What was that about?
Some days I really hate this job.
Well, you, me and everyone else
around here. Are you ready?
- Dinner?
- Right.
Yes. I just have to drop this off.
- You still got that leg lac in Sutures.
- I'm on it.
- Get there by Easter, would you, please?!
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hey, Malik?
- Yeah?
Is this the measles kid's
post-intubation film?
Why didn't it go
to the PICU with him?
- I'll take it up.
- No, I'll do it.
I want to check on him anyway.
Phi Beta Kappa, Yale.
GPA's . .
MCATs in the th percentile.
- Yeah, sure.
- Peter?
And Carpenter.
University of Georgia.
Was this the geek in the Smashing
Pumpkins T-shirt, with the lisp?
- Sarah. Redhead, glasses.
- Yeah. Right.
GPA, . . Ninety-fourth
percentile on the MCATs.
- Finalist for the Falsberg Science Award.
- Whatever that is. We've got better.
Peter?
No.
That's it. We are recommending two
to the full committee, rejecting .
Great. I still might make it home
in time for SportsCenter.
There is another candidate
I'd like to discuss.
- William White.
- Who?
His MCAT scores were
only in the st percentile...
...but his GPA was . ,
and he was class president.
- I don't see him on the list.
- We didn't grant him an interview.
I met with him today. He asked me
to reconsider his application.
Oh, no. Is this that whiner
I told you to get rid of?
- Where did he go to school?
- University of Illinois, Chicago.
My gardener could have gotten
a . at the U of I...
...and his head was run over
by a truck as a kid.
I went to the University of Illinois.
His MCATs are well below
our admission standards.
MCATs don't predict
how good a doctor you'll be.
Just what you do
the first years of school.
- This kid is bright. He's dedicated-
- He's black.
- Yeah, he's black.
- Affirmative action's against the law.
We didn't interview one black
or Latino candidate today.
We have a colorblind policy. If he was
good enough, he would've been here.
Minority kids don't have the same
access to academic opportunities.
You want to address that...
...by advancing underqualified applicants
at the expense of our integrity and theirs?
I want him to have an interview.
Clear.
- Still V-fib.
- What happened?
Hypoxia, bradyed down to ,
then he arrested.
- Another round of epi.
- He's on PEEP?
Maxed out, and his PO- 's
only on percent oxygen.
- Charge to .
- Clear!
Asystole.
- How long has he been down?
- Forty minutes.
He's had two rounds of atropine?
Lidocaine, amiodarone and dopamine.
You got any other ideas?
Hold compressions.
Vicki is dating guys now,
and Carol is getting married to one.
Both of these women marched...
in every gay-pride parade
for the past years.
- I don't get it.
- I do.
You get society's blessing,
your family's-
Survivor benefits, tax breaks.
And all you gotta do
is lay there a few times a week.
I'm sorry.
We're not usually this bad.
- It's okay.
- Hey...
...do you realize that everyone
at this table has slept with Kim?
- Oh, my God!
- Cut it out, you guys.
I bet she brought a U-Haul
on your second date, right?
I don't understand.
It's a lesbian joke. A bad one.
Do you want another drink?
Actually, I gotta go.
I have an early shift tomorrow.
- Kerry-
- It was really...
It was really nice to meet you both.
- Wait. Are you upset?
- No.
Well, why are you leaving, then?
I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.
I dated Christy in college.
Kate and I dated for maybe a month-
It's not that. This isn't me.
I mean, my experience,
the jokes, your friends.
I'm... I care about you.
I'm not interested
in adopting a lifestyle.
Wow, I can't believe
you just said that.
I'll call you later.
Just drive.
Dr. Kovac.
I was helping him off
with his dolman.
He was very short of breath,
and he just collapsed.
Oh, God!
Bishop Stewart, can you hear me?
Call .
Tell them we have a man
with impending respiratory arrest.
Mark?
Mark, you home?
Mark?
Mark.
Are you okay?
He recommended
formal competency testing.
Psychiatrists, neuropsychologists,
MRI, personality tests...
It's gonna take five days.
I'm so sorry.
The good times just keep coming.
Luka?
What are you doing?
I couldn't find a forest.
What?
You brought Bishop Stewart back in?
How's he doing?
He's dying.
He might surprise you.
We get enough miracles around here.
Why not one more?
I'm freezing.
- Ready to go home?
- Yeah.