18x08 - It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

[bunniefuu]

♪ The snow's coming down ♪

MEREDITH: The way kids feel at Christmas

is a pretty close equivalent

to the way surgeons feel
walking into an OR.

♪ Lots of people around ♪

♪ Baby, please come home ♪

It's a complicated mix
of anxiety and excitement...

♪ "Deck the Halls" ♪

...that makes it
almost impossible to sleep.

♪ 'Cause I remember when you were here ♪

The anticipation is the best
and worst part.

Will this go my way?

Will I get what I want?

Will my patient live?

Will they heal?

Is Santa real?

♪ You should be here with me ♪

Stepping into an OR
is its own kind of magic.

♪ It's Christmas Day ♪

♪ Baby, please come home ♪

♪ Baby, please come home ♪

♪ Baby, please come home ♪

The possibility that on this
day, you might save a life...

- LINK: I'm going to Minnesota.
- ...or end it.

In one hour.

I have to talk to Amelia,
and it can't wait another day.

I want to be with her on Christmas.

I want our family together
on Christmas morning,

so I have to... I have to
tell her I love her

and that I don't need her
to marry me right this second.

Right?

I have to go?

You have to go.

Yeah, um, I will watch Scout.

Thank you. [LAUGHS]

Oh, hey.

You won't be alone on Christmas.

You and Luna will be invited.

Always! You will always be invited.

I do not like waiting,
especially for David Hamilton.

Well, I've learned he doesn't
really care what people like.

- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- Oh, there they are.

They've cleaned up the place
since I've been here last.

Not as drab.

Webber, it's nice to see you again.

David.

Richard, this is Kai Bartley,

the lead neuroscientist on the project.

Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Bartley.

Thanks for accommodating our team

and making Grey-Sloan available
on such short notice.

The project's already using my surgeons.

Might as well use my operating room.

You know how it is.

Famous patient,

trailblazing neurosurgery,

futuristic equipment.

Not to mention the great
Meredith Grey walking the halls.

The people of Minnesota
were asking questions.

It threatened the work.

Well, I hope it works,
for your sake and science.

I wish you could observe,

but we can't compromise
the secrecy of the technology.

It's essential personnel only.

I have residents to teach.

And I've got pre-op bloodwork to do,

so, Dr. Bartley, Dr. Shepherd,
I'll see you at game time.

Thanks again, Webber.

WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Brooks to oncology.

Dr. Brooks to oncology.

Famous patient? He's not Bono.

In Minnesota, he's about
as close as you can get.

Prince was from Minnesota.

Excuse me.

[DOOR OPENS]

- Hey.
- [DOOR CLOSES]

Excuse me, but only doctors who
actually work in this hospital

are supposed to be in the lounge.

Security risk.

[CHUCKLES]

So, we've all been told
to stay away from OR .

I suppose that's where
the super-secret project

is happening?

Can't say. Security risk.

[CHUCKLES]

It's good to see you.

It's good to see you.

[MUG THUDS]

How are you doing?

[CHUCKLES]

Oh.

The holidays are hard, I know.

My wife loved Christmas.

Like collected nutcrackers
kind of loved it.

This time of year for the boys,
we just...

We miss her so much, you know?

I'm so sorry.

Hm.

You know...

she might still love Christmas.

So this is going to sound
completely ridiculous

and very unscientific,

and I always thought of myself
as an atheist,

and I did believe that we start
and end with the body,

but when I was sick, I had a dream...

Or what I thought was a dream.

I dreamt about Derek on a beach,

and it felt so real.

It felt like it wasn't a dream.

I mean, it felt like... he's here.

Like he's been with me this whole time.

Like he might be here with me now.

And today I'm doing
this groundbreaking surgery.

And it's exactly the type of thing

that he would have loved to do.

And in the past,
that would have made me sad,

but somehow, I think
he might just be here,

hovering over me,
watching the whole thing,

soaking it all in.

And that makes me happy.

And please don't tell anyone
I'm telling you this,

because I am acutely aware
of how ridiculous it sounds.

No, not crazy.

Kind.

It's very kind of you
to share that with me, Grey.

♪♪

You know, I could hear you
on the beach, too.

Were you talking to me
about my children?

I was.

I heard you, and it helped.

[CELLPHONE BUZZES]

PICU.

Good luck with whatever
you're doing today, Grey.

Thank you.

And, um, thank you, Grey.

Maybe I'll go pick up
a nutcracker after work

or something.

- Bye.
- Bye.

[DOOR CLOSES]

What, you scheduled the lawyer

- for Friday morning?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, I have a sleeve gastrectomy,

and then I'm supposed to have clinic.

[SIGHS] I'm still on shift
on Thursday morning.

Oh, can you get a sub?

- It's the holidays.
- No.

Um, Monday?

That's next week.

Okay, how are we
supposed to fight for Pru

if we can't even fit it
into our calendars?

Miranda, we are doing our best
in a world of uncertainty.

Mm.

And I will look into getting a sub.

Thank you.

But if I do, will you at least consider

- taking it easy at work?
- What?

I just think we need to go
spend some time as a family.

We could go look at lights or ice-skate.

Come on. Dean loved Christmas.

Oh, oh. We could go caroling.

[CHUCKLING] We are not going caroling,
Benjamin.

Yeah, as soon as the words
left my mouth,

I knew you were gonna give me that look.

JORDAN: Chief Bailey.

Oh, Dr. Wright. Hey. Happy First Day.

Hey, thank you.

This is my husband, Ben Warren.

- Hey.
- Morning. Oh.

Okay, sorry.

Coffee?

Regular or decaf.

I wasn't sure which one you
wanted, so I got one of each.

They also had this holiday
candy cane thing,

but I felt that was a bit risky.

Yeah, well, I have my morning
smoothie, so thank you,

but I'm sure someone around here
wants it.

Like me. Regular?

I fight fires. I need this.

Well, I don't want to keep you.

I just wanted to tell you how happy I am

to finally learn from you in person.

- So, uh, see you in there?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Still got it.

[LAUGHING] Get out of here.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

How are you holding up?

Megan, maybe you should take a break.

Get outside, maybe take a walk,
grab a nap.

I can sit with him for a while.

If he doesn't make it, neither do I.

If Farouk dies, I go with him.

I'm not sticking around.

Not interested
in surviving another chapter

of earth-shattering pain.

I've survived enough in this life.

I'm not willing to survive this.

Megan...

I'm sorry I said that to you.

I-I just...
I needed to say it to someone,

and it can't be my brother
and it can't be my mother

and it can't be Teddy.

I just wanted someone to know
that I've loved this life.

Or parts of it.
I've loved parts of this life.

But...

I'm just not willing to survive this.

♪♪

♪♪

Noah's service was nice. Packed.

Yeah.

You know, some of the guys
from the support group

are gonna buy a Christmas tree
and some decorations for Danny.

I mean, we... we could
contribute some gifts.

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Owen, Heather and Danny,
eventually, they will be ok...

I know. I know, okay?

I think there's already
some relief for Heather,

knowing that he's out of pain.

[CELLPHONE CHIMING AND BUZZING]

Winston. .

Yeah.

[MEGAN SOBBING]

What happened?

-year-old MVC, suffered
a catastrophic brain injury.

He's been declared brain dead.

Oh, my God.

I don't understand.
Is he here? Do we know him?

- Megan?
- No, no, he's in Tacoma.

He's an organ donor. UNOS just called.

The heart is a match for Farouk.

[CRYING] Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

He's gonna be... He's gonna be okay.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. My baby.

- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Oh, thank you.

[SIGHS]

Oh. You're supposed to be in Minnesota.

I came back early for a surgery.

Hello, my sweet boy.
What a happy surprise.

Yeah. [LAUGHS]

Link went to, um, get a Christmas tree,

so I said I would take the kids
to daycare.

Got it. Okay.
Well, I-I've got him from here.

- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- Yeah, of course.

Um...

Can I ask you, how is Link doing?

Things have been a little...

How is he?

He's fine.

Okay. Okay.

Um, a-are you coming to daycare?

No.

Yes. I just, um...

I have to, uh,
grab her binky from the car.

Okay. [CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

And I have to call him now, right?

Because whatever these feelings are,

they are new and stupid

and need to go back to whatever
dark hole of desperation

they crawled out of.

Okay.

[HORNS HONKING]

Hey, I'm almost to the airport.

JO: Amelia's in Seattle.

Uh, no, she's in Minnesota.

Dude, I was just in the
elevator with her in Seattle,

so if you want to see her,
do not get on the plane.

[SIGHS]

The "dude" was a little much, right?

Winston is starting Farouk
on the induction therapy now.

As soon as we're en route
with the donor heart,

he'll bring him to the OR
and get him ready.

Tacoma's close by.
We'll have plenty of time.

Wait. Both of you are going?

Yeah, I want to put eyes
on the heart myself,

make sure they don't screw it up
in Tacoma.

OWEN: My mom's on her way
to take care of Megan.

Well, I'm coming, too. My patient.

And we've got things to discuss.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

[ENGINE STARTS]

Are you in pain?

No.

I was praying.

Mm. Well, don't sound so ashamed.

Well, I've never been entirely
sure what it is I believe in,

so it's... it's...
It's all very confusing,

this part where I might die now.

Well, you're not going to die.

Oh, anything can happen in there.

You know that.

I hope I don't die today,

but I left notes for my wife
and kids and grandkids.

They're saved in the...
In the draft file of my e-mail.

The passwords are on a Post-it
on the computer.

I didn't want to send the notes.

If everything goes perfectly,

I don't want to have put them
through all that for no reason.

I've been awful to you, Dr. Grey.

I've been the very worst parts
of myself,

and before you put me under,

I want to be sure you know both...

how sorry I am for my behavior

and how grateful I am to you.

I may have written those notes
to the kids and the grandkids

just to remind you that
I'm a dad and a grandad,

not just a megalomaniac.

So as you're cutting
into my brain today,

please try to remember
there are people who love me,

even if you're not one of them.

Well, I appreciate the apology.

I assure you, I have
absolutely every intention

of making history today.

And if this works, you will
not only live, you will heal.

You're sure you're not in pain?

Only the existential kind.

Okay. I'll see you soon.

BAILEY: Last time I checked,

Dr. Webber and I deserved
the respect of punctuality.

It was his fault.

Someone was supposed to wake me up.

RICHARD: Before we hand out assignments,

we'd like to introduce
our new fourth-year resident,

transfer from Minnesota, Jordan Wright.

Do you mind, sir?

Um...

Alright. [CHUCKLES]

The floor is yours.

Excuse me.

Um, wow. Hey, folks.

I would like to say an official hello

and tell you how excited I am
to be here.

Grey-Sloan's my Yankee Stadium,
so here I am,

facing current legends,
Chief Bailey, Dr. Webber,

and, uh, future legends.

Okay, um, that's all I got.

[LAUGHING] Alright. Good.

- He likes sports.
- Gross.

BAILEY: Alright, assignments. Listen up.

Some of you will fly solo
using the Webber Method,

and some of you will not.

Tseng, merry Christmas.

You are on cardio
for a heart transplant.

Perez, you have an appy in OR .

Schmitt and Helm,

you will be doing
an ileostomy takedown in OR .

Dr. Wright...

Dr. Wright, we're assigning you

a solo laparoscopic sigmoidectomy

for diverticulitis.

I'm not sure, a-are you familiar
with my method...

I'm... I'm familiar with it, sir,

and with your blessing,
I'll take a rain check.

[CLEARS THROAT]

A rain check?

Yeah.

On which part?

I-I'm more than happy
to do the bowel resection,

but respectfully, I'd prefer
not to use the Webber Method.

I'm here to learn from Chief Bailey,

so I'd like the opportunity
to... learn from Chief Bailey.

Guess I'm scrubbing in.

AMELIA: Hey.

Koracick's called me like times

wanting to know if we've started.

They're moving Hamilton up to pre-op.

Okay.

You okay?

Come inside. It's cold.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

Okay, I'm just gonna say it.

I think we'll both feel better
if I just say it.

We are drilling a hole
into a renowned surgeon's head

using a piece of equipment
we just invented

to inject a cellular solution

that has never been tested
on a human being before

to cure what has heretofore
been considered

an entirely incurable disease.

[VOMITING]

You're right.
That made me feel much better.

Let's go.

♪♪

The Webber Method only works
on specific procedures

that have maybe one
or two crucial points

that require supervision.

The resident operates
to a predetermined point...

- Any resident?
- Only those residents who've shown

that they can independently
and competently open the patient

and then dissect
to where they need to be.

[LAUGHS] I'd love to see that list.

Once they get to

the difficult part
of the procedure, they pause.

They wait for their attendings
to arrive,

and then they continue.

Okay, so this is just
for general surgery, right?

As for now, but we're hoping
to implement it

across all specialities.

Hmm. No. No. Not mine. Not cardio.

No hearts in baby surgeons' hands.

No. I... Come... No, sorry.

You busy?

I have a lobectomy in a few hours.

Great, so you can come with me

and watch how the method works
in action.

TEDDY: If everything goes smoothly,

this heart will be the best
Christmas gift for Farouk.

Maybe we can even get him home
by New Year's.

What about Megan?

What about her?

She's not alright.

I've been sitting here
for the last half-hour

trying to figure out how to
talk to the two of you about her

without overstepping.

Her sun is on ECMO and they're
awaiting a new heart.

She's sleep-deprived and anxious,

like any parent would be.

I've dealt with a lot of anxious
and depressed parents

over the years, but this is different.

HAYES: Look, Hunt,
I know she's your sister.

This is hard for you to hear, but...

Listen. Megan is tougher than you think,

and she's been through way worse
than we could even imagine.

I'm aware, and I'm still telling you

that she needs serious help.

She is not alright.

TEDDY: Hayes, this is a good day.

We have a heart for Farouk,

and when he's okay, she'll be okay.

And what if he's not okay?

There's still a million things
that can go wrong here.

Hayes.

I know you guys want to celebrate,

but I need you to understand

what your sister just said to me,

and I'm not sure that it's cured

even with a heart transplant
for her son.

She is profoundly depressed.

Um, uh, we're five minutes out.

[SIGHS]

Devon, an ileostomy takedown's
fairly straightforward.

We'll just start with
an incision around the stoma,

and then through that,

we'll extract the part
of the intestine that...

Do what you have to do.

I'll just be stoked to get some
quality time outdoors again.

After my ulcerative colitis
diagnosis and the surgery,

recovery, and now surgery
to recover from the recovery...

The wound from this procedure
should heal in a month or so.

Too much time stuck to a bed,

your mind goes to some ugly places.

I'm sorry, I...

Have we met?

Don't think so.

Your voice, it's so familiar.

No, I feel like we've...

Oh, my God.

You're Devon Gomez.

I-I listen to your podcast.

[CHUCKLES] How about that?

Small world.

What podcast?

He hosts a show called
"On Foot with Devon"

where he... he basically just
takes a walk and records it.

Every week I go somewhere
I've never been before.

Bonus if it's far from a city
or there's a body of water.

I just take a walk with my microphone

and talk about what I'm seeing,
and I post it online,

and if people dig it, that's cool,

and if not, I have a record
of a nice day in my life.

It's like, um... I don't know,
like a meditation.

- It kind of is.
- Yeah.

Or it was.

I stopped making episodes
after my last surgery

because walking was too painful,

but I'm hoping that this surgery
lets me get back to it.

Mr. Gomez, we'll be back to
prep you when the OR is ready.

And it will be an honor.

And a privilege.

Never knew I had a groupie.

[LAUGHS]

It's nice.

It's nice to meet you, Dr. Schmitt.

Yes.

Why aren't you in pre-op?

- They couldn't take him.
- Why?

AMELIA: Is there a problem
with the equipment?

I checked everything last night.
It looked fine.

The equipment is not the problem.

David is the problem.

HAMILTON: Dr. Bartley, I'm fine.

If you were fine,

you wouldn't be asking me
to keep it a secret.

It's one degree.

- Keep what secret?
- What?

Fever. He has a low-grade fever.

. is not a fever.

. is nerves.

I am in charge of this project.

I am paying your salaries...

- Oh, my God.
- It's a cramp!

Existential pain. And I believed you!

Existential pain, my ass.

- Ooh!
- Your abdomen is rock hard.

He needs a CT.

TEDDY: Megan, it's Teddy.

I got the heart. It's perfect.

We're on our way back now.
It's going to be okay.

I love you. Okay, bye.

TEDDY: Farouk is prepped,

and Winston's gonna bring him
up to the OR any minute.

Megan's gonna be okay.

Okay.

It's a beautiful and healthy heart.

It's perfect.

OWEN: And for the record,
Megan does get help.

She goes to therapy.

She's living with us
while she's here and...

When's the last time she
actually spent a night at home?

'Cause every morning
when I'm doing pre-rounds,

she's sitting there in that
uncomfortable chair in the PICU,

looking like she hasn't
closed her eyes all night.

[GROANS]

Sir, are you okay?

TEDDY: What's happening, Owen?

[HORN BLARES, TIRES SCREECH]

He's passed out!

[SCREAMING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

TEDDY: Aah! Aah! Oh, my God.

OWEN: Teddy! Teddy!

Yes. I'm fine! I'm fine!

There's... Nothing's broken!

- Hayes?
- I'm okay. I'm okay.

Sir?

Sir, sir? Can you hear me?

He has a blown pupil.

He must have had a massive stroke.

- The cooler!
- I got it. I got it.

- Okay.
- No cracks or dents.

Alright, phones. We need...
We need to try to call for help.

Yeah. [GRUNTS]

Mine's... Mine's no good.

I can't get a signal.

Alright, hang on.

I got it.

I-I have one bar.

Let me try. No, it won't go through.

I got to try to figure out
how to get out

and maybe find some better
reception or maybe...

No, no, no. Wait, wait. Don't move.

We seem to be in a ditch.

- What?
- Hayes, what can you see?

Nobody bloody move.

♪♪

♪♪

They're about minutes out
with the heart,

so we're going to get him on
the table and start immediately.

Okay.

Megan, I-I think you should

sit this one out in the waiting room.

She will. I'll be with her.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Bye, baby. I'll see you soon, okay?

Okay.

Alright, let's go.

♪♪

LEVI: Hey, Mr. Gomez.

Any questions before
we begin your anesthesia?

Call me Devon. And I'm ready.

On Dasher, on Dancer, right?

Hey, would you mind if I listen
to your podcast while I operate?

Most surgeons like to listen
to music while they work,

but I always try to imagine
that I'm outside,

not stuck under
these fluorescent lights.

Keeps me grounded, focused.

Absolutely. I'd be honored.

Helm, he's ready.

Okay, Devon.

Here we go.

Count backwards from .

[MUFFLED] ... ... ... ...

DEVON: Hey, folks. Welcome to "On Foot."

Thanks for joining me on my walk today.

Uh, so my buddy told me
there's a waterfall

about a quarter mile north of here.

Uh, let's make our way to it.

[FOOTSTEPS CRUNCHING]

I'm gonna go scrub.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

MAN: Some cricoid pressure, please.

Oh, wow. It's Schmitt and Helm.

Wow. Feels like just yesterday

he was dropping his glasses
into an abdomen.

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, how are you so calm?

Schmitt's come a long way.

They all have.

[BEEPING]

Oh. Perez is getting ready
to do his endoloop

for his appy in OR .

That is insane.

I-I mean, not literally.

You know, just exciting.

Wow.

Wow.

BAILEY: Aha.

JORDAN: Any observations, Dr. Bailey?

No. No, no.

You're doing great.

As a matter of fact, flawless.

Thank you, and next, I'll walk
down this dissection inferiorly.

[CHUCKLES]

Dr. Wright, clearly, this isn't
your first sigmoidectomy.

Oh, no, no, no, I've done
probably , give or take.

Trust me when I say
I'm happier here in the OR

than at my desk doing paperwork,

but your work is thorough

and your technique
is at an expert level.

Before every surgery, I sketch it.

I draw the anatomy and I draw
what I will do to it.

I even sketch out every step

and even every possible complication,

and then I will draw the solutions.

You're right. I do know this
surgery from start to finish.

Then why didn't you want
to do it on your own?

I study every move my attendings make

so I can anticipate what they need.

I'm not here to learn
this surgery, Dr. Bailey.

I'm here to learn you.

Then carry on.

But I prefer blunt dissection
when you're in this area,

just so you know.

Thank you, Dr. Bailey.

Okay, Wilson, one hand
by the fetus's head,

the other one by the buttocks.

- Lower. Good.
- Okay.

Now push down and try the
forward somersault technique.

[GROANS]

I am so sorry!

You were doing it right.

Sylvia, I know this is uncomfortable,

but if you still want
to have a vaginal birth,

we need to try
and turn the baby around, okay?

- Okay.
- Wilson?

Okay.

[SCREAMS]

Should we try more gel?

- No, it's...
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]

Uh, yeah. We'll take a break.

Oh, thank God.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I swear part of OB
is just torturing women.

Did you talk to Amelia?

When I was going to Minnesota,

I knew exactly what I was gonna say,

but now that I'm in Seattle...

The city makes a difference?

Just listen.

[SIGHS]

I love you.

I love you so much,

and nothing else matters to me
except you and Scout.

You two are my life,

and I don't care about
being married anymore.

I just need you.

And I'm sorry it took me so long
to see it from your side.

But I'm not perfect. Neither are you.

We... We've both made mistakes,
but now we're both here,

perfect for each other
at the right time.

I love you now
and I have always loved you.

So let's be together. Let's try.

However it needs to be,
however it works,

let's be together right now.

Something like that?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, it's, um...

It's perfect.

Okay.

Okay, thanks.

I'm gonna go find her.

[SIGHS]

HAMILTON: Did you read the
research Dr. Bartley provided

about the relationship
between anxiety, stress,

and Parkinson's pain?

Multiple articles have been written.

They are very interesting.
Please stay still.

I-I'm merely suggesting
that the abdominal pain

could be psychosomatic.

And I'm merely suggesting
you stay still.

We have a -hour window
the FDA has provided us

to get this surgery accomplished.

David, I swear to God.

HAMILTON: I'm holding still.

He lied to you about his pain
on the day of a surgery

that has cost him
tens of millions of dollars.

- Who does that?
- He's stubborn

and he doesn't want a setback.

Free air. His bowel's perfed.

We need to do an immediate ex lap.

So that's it. We're... We're done.

We're not done.

We can't inject the cells
in the FDA window...

Not if he needs an emergent surgery.

The impact of the anesthesia alone is...

Okay, so we'll get a new window
from the FDA.

So we're not done, we're delayed.

HAMILTON: I've had
enough patients to know

the results should be in by now.

TEDDY: They'll try to contact us,

and then when they don't hear from us,

they'll send a rescue unit.
We just have to wait.

No, we can't wait.
Not if we want to save Farouk.

By the time they get here,
that heart won't be viable.

Ah! [SIGHS]

Hayes, can you...
Can you open your window?

No, it's not working.

Okay. Let me see.

[GROANS] Hold on. Hold on.

- Okay, let me see.
- What do you have?

Okay, okay. Use this.

Use that end to smash the bottom.

It'll shatter the glass, okay?

- Okay.
- Hit it hard. Don't tap.

- Cover your eyes.
- Yep.

- You okay?
- Okay, good.

Hayes, you go, and we'll follow,

unless somebody has a better plan.

- Okay. Take this.
- Okay.

I'm gonna go on three, okay?

Ready? One, two...

[CREAKING]Aah! Aah!

Okay, don't... don't... don't...
Don't move! Don't move.

OWEN: Okay, they must have
put out a distress call.

Somebody's coming.

- When?
- I don't know.

So what, we just do nothing until then?

I don't... I don't know, Teddy.

How will they even know where to look?

I don't know!

I don't have answers right now,

but they must know
that we're in this area,

so somebody will be coming to find us.

What we can do, all we can do
is try to stay alive till then.

No, that's not all we can do.

We're here because a child d*ed

and the family had the grace
to give this heart to us.

We're here for Farouk,
so this car may fall,

but we cannot let this heart fall.

We've got about three hours

before this heart stops being viable,

so two of us are gonna stay in the car.

Lean on opposite sides,
that'll stabilize the weight.

One of us can climb out with the cooler.

What about the other two?

Stay in the car
and wait till help comes.

Well, Teddy should go first.

She can climb out, take the heart,

flag down a car,
and call for help, okay?

Owen, he's a single parent.

His kids have already lost their mother.

Listen, he goes and this car slips,

then our kids lose both their parents.

Look, we've all got kids
we want to be there for.

We all have lives we want to keep,

so we're all getting out
of this car alive.

Just need to...

Wait, wait, wait! Nobody move.

- [CREAKING]
- Do you hear that?

I think the car's pulling
the tree out of the ground.

What? Aah! Aah!

[SIREN WAILING]

Hey, I just watched Perez
ask a scrub nurse

whether he should use
-oh Vicryl or -oh Vicryl

- to close an appy.
- Better her than us.

When was the last time you did an appy?

I go away for a few weeks,
now the residents are attending?

This place falls apart without you.

I almost just had a panic att*ck
in the gallery just now.

How is Bailey okay with this?

It's progress, Maggie.

The residents are excited

in a way they have not been
in a long time.

You plan on letting them
cut into brains without you?

- Oh, absolutely not.
- Yeah.

I... What are you doing here?

I thought you had your big,
super-secret surgery today?

I did, and then I didn't,

so I thought I would find you
and tell you about my new crush,

but somehow the vibe
does not feel right.

I'm... I'm gonna find you later.

MAGGIE: Yeah.

You can't report this to the FDA.

Just repair the bowel

and tell them we had
an equipment malfunction.

I cannot lie to the FDA.

I'm gonna tell them everything,

and they'll just give us a new window.

Do you know how long that will take?

I'll lose weeks!

You're a rule-breaker, Grey,
so break the rules!

I cannot compromise this project.

You're compromising my only
chance at getting my life back.

You're not the only one
with Parkinson's.

There are million people

living around the world
with this disease.

They don't have your money
or your access to healthcare.

They still live. They travel.

They spend time with their families.

They work as long as they can.

Their lives are as productive

and as meaningful as anyone else's.

The only thing stopping you
from living with this disease

is your own ego.

Is that what you said to your mother?

What does my mother
have to do with this?

Oh, come on, Meredith.

If our procedure
is even a little successful,

it'll have huge ramifications

for the treatment of other
neurodegenerative diseases.

The funding will pour in.

You know that.

You never wanted to cure me.

You want to cure Alzheimer's.

DEVON: You know,
this is my favorite time of day.

The sun burns the fog
that settled overnight,

- so there's water vapor...
- A little more traction.

Okay. I get it.

His footsteps are like ASMR,

which puts people to sleep.

You really shouldn't play this

while your hands are in someone's body.

And when you're lead surgeon,

you can choose.

- Suction.
- And you look up,

and the light hitting the leaves

looks like stained glass.

Okay.

Page Dr. Webber, please.

And walking through it is just,
well, so peaceful.

Dr. Schmitt, according to the method,

we are supposed to wait
to continue until he arrives.

This dissection is routine
for me at this point.

I'll get it started,
and Webber will be here soon.

So wherever you are listening,

I hope that you're feeling
this peace, too.

I should have put on the holiday
one from last season.

He trudges through the snow.

He's bleeding.

From where?

- [MONITORS BEEPING]
- Aah!

I can't see! Suction!

Where is it? Where is it?!

[WIND WHISTLING]

We don't have much time.

Altman, tell my kids to call their aunt.

Tell them I love them.
Tell them they'll be okay.

Listen. We'll stabilize the car.

Just get back to the road
and bring help.

I love you.

I love you. Go.

- [TEDDY GRUNTING]
- Okay.

[GRUNTS] Okay.

♪ I'm on the edge of tomorrow ♪

I'm out. I'm out.

HAYES: Get the cooler. Save Farouk.

♪ I don't know what's coming ♪

♪ Oh, what's coming over me ♪

- [BREATHING HEAVILY]
- Teddy, go!

♪♪

♪ There's a howl in the heavens ♪

♪ And there are tears in my eyes ♪

♪ Oh, what a strange time
to feel alive ♪

Hey.

He's headed into surgery now.

How long will it take?

A few hours. Depends.

Look, I know this complication
is frustrating,

but we made it this far,
and it's still gonna happen.

How can you be so sure?

♪ And I know where my body is ♪

- Close your eyes.
- Why?

Fine.

[SIGHS]

You are on Peaks Island

off the coast of Maine in late summer.

You're standing on the beach,

which is also surrounded

by huge, amazing trees.

It's nighttime, so it's cool,
but the breeze is warm.

And when you look up...

stars...

forever and ever.

♪ I can see the hope ♪

Hearing the waves...

a calm exists...

♪ Like diamonds in the dead of night ♪

...like no other.

♪ And the wind is wild,
are you listening? ♪

♪ Are you listening? ♪

Did you just guide-mediate me?

♪ Oh, what a strange time ♪

Did it work?

It didn't not work.

♪ To feel alive ♪

♪ Oh, what a strange time ♪

♪ To feel alive ♪

♪ Oh, what a strange time ♪

♪ To feel alive ♪

♪ Oh, what a strange time ♪

♪ To feel alive ♪

♪ Shine on ♪

♪ Long after the light is gone ♪

♪ I will shine on ♪

♪ Shine on ♪

- Irrigation.
- Irrigation.

DR. MICHAEL: Urgent page from OR .

They're calling anyone available.

- Anyone?
- Any attending.

Go ahead. I'm good to close up.

Okay.

Dr. Grey! He's hypotensive!

[MONITORS BEEPING RAPIDLY]

DEVON: Okay. It's definitely close.

I can hear the water.
It's getting louder, and...

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

I think we'll be there soon, folks.

Initiate the massive transfusion
protocol, right now!

I'm coming down!

[SUCTION HISSING]

♪♪

[WATERFALL ROARING]

[FLATLINE]

[FOOTSTEPS CRUNCHING]

Yeah, I think...

Ah! Ah, there it is.

[CHUCKLES] Holy moly.

Holy moly.

- Wow!
- [WATER RUSHING]

[FLATLINE]

It's been so long since I've
seen a waterfall in person.

Oh, this is just the best.

Yeah, I'm gonna stay here
a while, you guys.

- I'm gonna stay here a while.
- BAILEY: Turn that off.

[CLICK]

[FLATLINE]

[FLATLINE STOPS]

I need to know what happened, now.

[EXHALES SHAKILY]

We were doing the dissection.

Everything looked good.

Uh, Dr. Schmitt put traction on the IMA.

Why did you not call for an attending?

We did, but, um, Levi...

Dr. Schmitt started the
dissection instead of waiting.

He thought he could just get it started,

but then there was a bleed.

Uh, Dr. Schmitt identified it was coming

from the base of the IMA at the aorta.

We attempted to control it,
but, um, it was too late.

BAILEY: Schmitt?

Call it.

- The time of death...
- No. You call it, Schmitt.

This is your patient, your OR,
your hands that operated.

Call it.

LEVI: Time of death, : .

MEREDITH: I often ask my kids...

["CAROL OF THE BELLS" PLAYS]

...do they prefer Christmas Eve
or Christmas Day?

BAILEY: This is on you.

I go back and forth on that question.

♪ Hark, how the bells,
sweet silver bells ♪

♪ All seem to say "Throw cares away" ♪

♪ Christmas is here ♪

As a person, I prefer Christmas Eve,

when life is all possibility...

falling asleep with unopened
presents under a tree,

filled with excitement for tomorrow.

♪♪

♪ On, on they send, on without end ♪

But as a surgeon,
I prefer Christmas Day...

♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪

...the point where possibility
meets reality.

♪♪

♪ Throw cares away ♪

♪ Hark, how the bells,
sweet silver bells ♪

♪ All seem to say "Throw cares away" ♪

♪ Christmas is here,
bringing good cheer ♪

♪ To young and old, meek and the bold ♪

♪ Oh, how they pound,
raising the sound ♪

Wait, wait! Stop!

♪ O'er hill and dale,
telling their tale ♪

You've tried your best.

You call to close.

You finish the surgery
with the proper suture.

♪ Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas ♪

Hayes, just go!

Tell Teddy and Megan and my kids
that I love them.

- And my mom.
- No, no.

- Tell them I love them all so much.
- Absolutely not!

No child deserves to grow up
without a parent.

- I'm not listening.
- I'll be right behind you!

When the car tips,
there'll be a few seconds.

- I might just make it.
- No, the weight won't be enough.

- We can go together.
- It won't work. It won't work.

You're closest to the window.
This is the only way, okay?

I'm not leaving you.

Think of your kids, Hayes, okay?

Please.

If I don't make it, just...

I need you to do something for me, okay?

I gave Noah Young the dr*gs
that he needed to die,

and I promised him that
I would give the same dr*gs

to three other dying soldiers.

It's the right thing to do, Hayes.

I already have the meds.

They're in my truck, glove compartment.

Call Noah's wife, Heather.

She has their names.
She'll help you, okay?

And soon...

Okay?!

...you'll see if it all worked.

Move. Move before it takes us both!

Move! Go!

But whichever you prefer...

Go!

...I can promise you this.

No!

Hunt!

[VEHICLE ROLLING]

♪ Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas ♪

...eventually, the holiday is over.

♪♪

[WIND WHISTLING]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪