03x20 - Chapter Sixty-Four

[bunniefuu]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, friends,
we've had our highs and lows.

Jane married, but then,
of course, Michael d*ed.

And three years later,

she was still trying to move on.

And then, the strangest thing happened.

I love you, so much.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know. Whoa, right?

But here's the thing:
Rafael wanted to be with Petra,

but Petra was hesitant,
because, well...

We were terrible together.

And now we have these two happy kids.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Plus,
she had this new thing going with Chuck,

the owner of the
Fairwick Hotel next door.

But eventually, Raf won her over.

Yeah, he can be pretty relentless.

Which brings me to his sister, Luisa.

See, he didn't quite trust her,
or her new girlfriend, Eileen.

If you want to be in my sister's life,

we need to do some medical tests.

And it turns out, Raf was right
to be suspicious, because...

You do realize, when you pass

this medical exam,
you leave the country.

Or I will have you
k*lled, make no mistake.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yup, that's right:

Eileen was really the
crime lord Sin Rostro.

Which brings us to Scott.

I mean, dead Scott.

See, the police recently
identified his k*ller,

and it was Eileen.

And so, Rafael lied

and told his sister his cancer was back,

and lured her back to the Marbella.

And then, this happened...

Don't move.

(gasp) No!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know!
What a wild ride, huh?

And, speaking of...

after breakups and make-ups
and a horrible reality show

that Rogelio filmed with his ex, Darcy,

Jane's parents finally found
their way back to each other.

And they wanted a fairy tale wedding.

But, of course, this isn't a fairy tale,

it's a Telenovela.

So let's dive in.

Dearly beloved, we are
gathered here today

to witness a rite of passage.

By now, you know that
the Villanueva women

have been by each other's side,
in sickness and in health,

for richer and poorer...

It's my dream.

Through first loves...

His name is Adam,

and he's kind of artistic.

And first heartbreaks...

I promise, you will fall in love again.

I won't. Not like that.

Through births...

and baptisms.

And of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit.

And even deaths.

And so, of course,
they were together for this latest event

in the circle of life.

Okay! I'm ordained!

That was so easy.

No, but their swag game is on point.

Ooh, for $ more,

I could get the “Tell It
On The Mountain” package.

It comes with a parking placard

and a bumper sticker.

(laughs)

Do you think I need a tote?

Hmm.

Shouldn't there be some kind of template

for what to say at the wedding?

Actually, your dad and
I were kind of hoping

that you'd come up with
something personal.

We want the ceremony

only you could give us.

Oh! Of course. Of course.

Since you're a writer, right?

Yeah, no, I was just meaning as,
like, a guide.

But, yeah, definitely,
this is a Jane Villanueva joint.

I will just do a little research,

and I'll write the whole ceremony.

Yay!

Make sure you really wow us.

- (chuckles)
- The full waterworks.

Don't hold back.

(high-pitched): Great!

Ah.

JANE: Please, God. Please, God.

Please. Please.

WEATHERMAN: And here's breaking
news on the weather front.

As of now,
it looks like tropical storm Dolly

is gonna just miss Miami.

ALL: Yes!

- Whoo!
- Okay.

Time to ditch the rain
contingency Plan B binders,

and go back to the original checklist.

Did you call the Palapa Yacht Club

and confirm our final head count?

- Done.
- Programs?

- Printed.
- Paparazzi?

“Accidentally” tipped off.

Enemies list?

All your ex-wives and ex-agents

send their regrets.

Marc Anthony is attending,
and per your instructions,

he will be be asked “Who are you?
” and turned away.

- Excellent!
- You're on fire!

I know, right?

No, you're actually on fire!

Oh. Not again.

I have everything under control!

(chuckles): Don't worry.

I'm totally panicking.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Well, almost everything.

I keep trying to write the ceremony,

and... I just feel stuck.

So, I was thinking that maybe

you could help me with the structure,
as a colleague.

But way more important and legit.

I suspect your parents just want
you to speak from the heart.

Right. But maybe also around
a central unifying theme,

which you can suggest.

You know what?

Here's an assignment:

think about your parents,

why they're marrying,
why they're meant to be.

Write it down, don't censor yourself,

for ten minutes.

I'm thinking a theme will emerge.

You're always giving
me writing assignments.

Wait, a writing assignment?

FATHER GUSTAVO: A small one.

I always recommend
couples write a letter

to each other before the wedding.

To read later when times get tougher

and you need to remember how you
feel about each other right now.

I love that idea.

It's so romantic.

Well, that's 'cause you're a writer;
it's easy for you.

What about, like,
a basketball game once a month

to re-up our bond?

Michael.

Okay, fine. I'll write you
a super-gushy love letter.

It better make me cry.

- You're an easy cry.
- (grunts)

Sorry, I meant,

it'll be an easy letter to write.

Seriously,
I'll just write about how lucky I feel

to be marrying you, because I do.

Every single day.

(sobs softly)

See? Bam!

(laughs)

Can that count as my
letter? What I said?

Yeah.

Not really feeling as full of
“meant to be” these days.

Maybe... we read his letter?

Hmm?

Michael's letter.

I remember he wrote very
eloquently about it.

Oh, yeah, he never actually wrote it.

He certainly did.

He showed it to me.

It was one of the most beautiful
love letters I've ever read.

Oh, my God. I-I never got it.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
A letter out there?

About “meant to be”?

Sounds pretty “meant to be” to me.

Then again, what do I know?

(ringtone playing)

Dad! You're back from the spa.

ROGELIO: Yes.

And I'm confirming you will
be at rehearsal at : .

JANE: Of course.

And I'm sorry about not
making the last one.

The last two.

Did you at least watch
the practice video I sent?

- Yes.
- ROGELIO: Oh, good!

So you know the Feather Step,
Thunderclap, Pirouette opening?

Of course.

Liar! The new opening is a samba!

I can't believe your lack of commitment.

I'm very committed, Dad.

I've just been running
errands for your big wedding.

The most important wedding

I'll ever attend in my entire life.

Save it for the ceremony.

I need you on time and
on point at rehearsal.

And watch the practice video.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wait,
but who's watching him?

JANE: Oh, no.

- _
- A high pressure system's moving in.

We can expect gale force winds?

No. No.

Mr. Monkey.

Thank you. I don't have time
for a meltdown right now.

Okay, gale force
winds... We can adjust.

Okay, we'll go to Plan B.

- (groans)
- Mm-hmm.

- Hey.
- (thunder rumbling)

The wedding is gonna be beautiful.

Even in gale force winds.

(sighs)

(heart b*ating)

- (door opens)
- PETRA: Am I interrupting something?

Just me freaking out.

I, uh, should go and learn this dance.

I will see you two

lovebirds at the wedding.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
A slight overcompensation.

Nothing he'd notice.

What's wrong?

Oh. (scoffs) What else? My sister.

- (thunder rumbles)
- She's, uh, getting out of jail,

and with this weather,
she can't get a flight out,

so she's stuck here.

Trust me, I know how you feel.

I'm just hoping Luisa stays in jail.

She got a new lawyer.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw,
another thing these two have in common:

criminal sisters.

ROGELIO: And show me... love!

(upbeat Latin music playing)

- Okay, stop. Just stop.
- (music stops)

(sighs) Matelio,

help me out here, buddy.

Where's your mother?

Well, she was coming here.

But then she forgot,

because she suffers from
short-term memory loss.

That's from Finding Dory,

which we watched together
three times last week.

Sorry, Papa.

I know Mommy's really
trying to get here on time.

Ma, don't worry,
wedding Plan B is officially in play.

It's all good.

XIOMARA: You're sure? I'm freaking out.

JANE: Don't. I got this.

We're gonna just move the party inside.

I already spoke to the manager.

But I have to go now, okay?

Love you. Bye.

(knock on door)

Can we talk for a second?

Uh...

(sighs): Oh.

(panting): Oh, hey.

I need your advice.

(chuckles nervously) Why?

It's your dad's.

Oh, my God.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, my God.

I know the timing is terrible.

I wasn't even gonna tell him about it,

but some tabloid got
wind of my pregnancy,

and it's only a matter of time

until they put two and two together,

and I don't want Rogelio
to find out that way.

Yeah, no, that-that would be terrible.

I've been trying to tell him myself,

but whenever I get close, I just...
chicken out.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well,
that explains the creepy stalking.

So, what do you think?

Do I tell him now or wait
until after the wedding?

Now. Definitely.

I agree. Can you do it?

Me?

I just think he would take it better...
coming from you.

Please?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Talk about a high-pressure system.

(thunder crashes)

- Hey, everyone. Sorry I'm late.
- She's here!

- No, wait, stop. Dad.
- Cue the music!

Dad, I really need to
talk to you, please.

Five, six, seven, eight!

What are you doing?!

ROGELIO: Chin up, Jane!

Jazz hands!

- Oh, no, no! I can't!
- Yes! Yes!

(stammers) I don't
understand what's happening!

Point your toes. Point your toes!

Dad, I really need to talk to you!

Please, put me down right now!

Oh!

Now, shimmy! Shimmy!

Dad, it's important.

(music stops)

I just saw Darcy, and she's pregnant.

(thunder rumbling)

Well, God help that child.

Seven months pregnant.

It's mine?

She says it is.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
It should be noted that

Rogelio's first thought was Xiomara.

And then he thought of the baby...
this baby...

And then a million other things,

including, “maybe
it's all meant to be.”

But in the end, he returned to...

JANE: Mom?

Last fitting.

What's wrong? Is the train too long?

I went big, like Diana.

No, it's perfect.

You look beautiful.

But Dad is right outside.

He needs to talk to you.

Oh. Okay. Let me change first.

It's bad luck for the groom

to see the bride in her wedding dress.

(rain falling, thunder rumbling)

Xo, say something.

I just...

How did this happen?

While we were taping,

we had hate sex a couple of times.

And you didn't use birth control?

I thought all of her
eggs were in the freezer.

Look, I know you don't
want to have any more kids,

so you don't have to have
anything to do with the baby.

That's unrealistic.

Then I don't even have to have
anything to do with the baby.

Stop.

PETRA: Just stop.

You don't have to keep thanking me.

I'm sorry. It's only that

I am so grateful to beautiful sister

for all of your help in
getting me out of jail.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
She wouldn't be so grateful if she knew

“beautiful sister” set
her up in the first place.

Here's how you can thank me:
don't leave your room

until you get on your
flight first thing tomorrow.

CHUCK: You like 'em?

Oh.

Look...

I meant what I said.

It's over.

We've been over a bunch of times now.

It's different this time.

I'm giving things a try with Rafael.

(scoffs)

- Chuck.
- What?

You told me you always feel like

you're in second place with that guy.

To Jane.

You deserve better than that.

You'd be my first choice.

_

(thunder rumbling)

_

_

_

Writing the ceremony.

The opening isn't right,
and I want to get it right, and...

I just want it to happen, Abuela.

I really want them to get married.

_

_

Ah, nothing.

Father Gustavo told me
that Michael wrote me

a love letter before we got married.

I was just trying to find it.

_

_

What?

_

En la salud, y en la enfermedad.

Amarte y resparte...

Ah. Amarte y respetarte.

Amarte y respetarte.

I always mess that part up.

You were supposed to say
it times last night.

I did.

Okay, .

My priest gave me homework.

I... I had to write a
love letter to Jane.

Oh. How did it go?

Pretty good, I think,
for not being a writer.

Um, now I'm supposed to hide it away

and give it to Jane when
she really needs it.

A rainy day.

Did he tell you where he put it?

No.

_

I can't stop thinking about him.

With the unexpected pregnancy
and what's happening to Mom.

Except Michael had time to
think about it, Rogelio.

We're supposed to get married tomorrow.

I know, the timing is terrible.

But I don't want to
postpone the wedding.

I don't, either.

But we have to.

(thunder rumbling)

Everything's so up in the air.

You haven't even talked to Darcy yet.

And we need to give
ourselves time to figure out

what it means for us.

I want to marry you, but not like this.

(thunder crashes)

RAFAEL: Wait, what?

Yes! I'm getting out of jail.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow.
The bad news keeps coming.

I don't understand.

You have been on the
run with a fugitive.

I'm getting immunity for
my testimony against Rose,

since I know where all the
dead bodies are buried.

Literally.

I think some of them are on
the island that we stayed on.

(thunder rumbling)

So when are you getting out?

Tonight.

My lawyer's just hammering
out the final detail.

And, Raf, I'm gonna be there for you,

every step of the way,
as you battle this cancer.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, right.

I forgot he told that whopper.

- So what's the treatment plan?
- I don't know.

I'm, uh, I'm getting a second opinion.

But you know what,
I really don't want to talk

- to you about it.
- I'm just worried about you.

If you were so worried about me,
then you wouldn't have

brought a mass m*rder*r into my home.

(line clicks, dial tone hums)

We've hammered out the final detail.

(thunder rumbling)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which
brings us here, now.

To the final detail.

You lied to me.

I believed you.

I trusted you.

It wasn't me.

I didn't k*ll Scott!

So, someone who looked
exactly like your Eileen face

just happened to be in
the Marbella that night?

Yeah.

Eileen!

The real Eileen

must have k*lled him.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which is true, for the record.

Come on! Eileen?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Let me explain.

_

(”Come On Eileen” by Dexys
Midnight Runners playing)

Hey.

Didn't I just see you,
like, two seconds ago

with Chinese food in the lobby?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You remember that
Rose had just threatened to k*ll her

if anyone figured out their scheme.

Oh, you have a twin or something?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
It was her or Scott.

♪ Come on, Eileen, oh, I swear... ♪

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
So she ditched him.

♪ At this moment, oh,
come on, Eileen. ♪

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

Do not touch the prisoner.

- I'm sorry.
- GUARD: Time's up.

I told you you could trust me.

The person you shouldn't
trust is your brother.

What?

Come on!

You really think his cancer is back?

MAN (over P.A.): Good afternoon.
The tropical storm is picking up speed

and could reach Miami tonight.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
This storm front has definitely arrived.

Everyone is advised to stay inside.

I know you never had a cancer relapse.

(thunder rumbles)

I still have some
friends at the hospital

and made some calls.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, right!

Luisa used to be a doctor.

Well...

it was the only way to get Rose back.

How could you lie to me
about something like that?

You were dating the woman
that k*lled our father

and kidnapped my son!

And that was bad.

But it was in the past;
she wanted to change.

Oh, my God, you are
completely delusional.

- I am not!
- Totally crazy!

Just like your mother.

And you know what?

I am done pretending that you're not.

I don't care what you do now
that Rose is behind bars,

as long as you stay the hell
away from me and my family!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yikes.

This storm cloud just got dark.

(thunder rumbling)

MATEO: That stinks!

I wanted Papa and Abuela

- to get married!
- I know.

Me, too.

And Papa and Abuela
are sad about it, too.

I have an idea.

Oh.

Maybe I can give them
some of the gummy worms

from my secret hiding spot

to make them feel better.

- (floor creaks)
- Whoa.

Whoa, look at this.

We'll just have the landlord fix it.

Are you kidding?

It's, like, the best hiding spot ever.

Makes me want this place even more.

Yeah? What are you gonna hide in it?

Your spy decoder ring?

How do you know about
my spy decoder ring?

Can you take Mateo to Rafael
before you go to work?

- I got to check something.
- ALBA: Sí.

(knocking)

(thunder rumbling)

Hi! I am so sorry

to bother you.

It's a funny story.

I actually used to live
here with my husband,

uh, but then he d*ed.

Not-not the funny part.

Uh, I-I'm... I'm looking
for a love letter

that he wrote me before he was sh*t.

Also not the funny part.

Anyway, um, there's a broken
floorboard in the living room

that we used to joke around about,

and...

I think that the letter
still might be hidden there.

So, can I come in and check real quick?

ROGELIO: Thank you for doing this.

We thought it would be a good idea

if we all sat down and talked.

To put your mind at ease,
I don't want any money.

I will support her myself.

(gasps) We're having a girl?

Yes.

Rogeliana.

We didn't agree on Rogeliana.

You said you were open to it.

That was just to get you
to sign the contract.

And I agreed to sign the contract...

If you think I'm gonna name my
daughter after the planet's...

with the clear understanding
that you would...

biggest narcissist...

- name our daughter Rogeliana!
- You are clinically insane!

Oh...

Can we just table the
names for the moment?

Agreed.

(thunder rumbling)

I want to confirm that
we'll share custody,

per our previous agreement.

No. I want primary custody.

What?

The previous agreement was made

when we were gonna do this together

and we actually liked each other.

Everything is different
now that I hate you.

Well, I hate you, too,
but you're the mother of my child.

So I will keep that very real, intense,

and almost violent hatred inside,

because I want to be
involved in my child's life.

You can have two weekends a month,

one major holiday,
and two weeks in the summer.

No. I want more.

And you should want him to have more.

He's a great father; you know that.

No one has a bigger heart,

and no one

is more loyal or devoted.

Thanks for the input,
but this is between us.

Now, wait a minute.

- It involves her, too.
- Why?

I heard you two aren't
even getting married.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And, dearly beloveds,

in that moment, she realized...

(chuckles softly)

Of course we are.

Who am I kidding?

I'm not gonna walk away from you;
you're it for me.

Really?

Really.

So let's just get married.

Today, like we planned.

But we canceled everything.

All we need is you, me,
Mom, Jane and Mateo.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And backup dancers,

doves and three costume changes.

Darcy, you'll be hearing
from our attorney.

Now, let's go and get married.

Nothing can stop us.

MAN (over P.A.): Good afternoon.
The tropical storm

has been upgraded to a hurricane
by the National Weather Service.

(thunder crashes)

Sorry. Maybe this one.

(floor creaks, Jane gasps)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And at this moment,

Jane wondered, was this fate

or part of Michael's grand plan

that she would find this
letter just when she needed to,

on this rainy day?

Nope.

Oh, okay.

Well, at least I gave it a try.

Sorry to have bothered you.

(cell phone chimes)

(thunder crashes)

Oh, my God!

What?

My parents' wedding is back on.

In two hours at the Marbella.

Oh, my God! I have to get a car.

Uh...

Uber, Lyft...
they're both out 'cause of the storm.

A taxi.

VALET: I'm pretty sure we got you

the last taxi out there, Miss Alver.

And I apologize, but it's a ride share,

- so someone's joining you.
- ANEZKA: It's me!

Hi, there.

Oh, you must be Petra's twin sister.

I'm Luisa. I'm Rafael's sister.

_

Pleased to meet you.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Now,
was it fate that brought them together?

Or just a random coincidence?

Again, I ask these questions,
but I don't know.

Your car.

But I do know that this car ride

is definitely gonna mess things up.

I'm fine, Mom. Raf picked me up.

We're just grabbing your dress.

Yes, I will be careful. Love you.

Bye.

Hurry. Oh, and be
careful with the train.

I am being careful.

Go write your ceremony.

Dearly beloved, meant
to be, and all that.

Oh, my God.

What did you do?

What is that?

That's my dress.

(laughs)

Shut it, okay? Just focus on my Mom's,

and I'll put the purple
monster in my backpack.

We have to hurry!

(crash, grass shatters)

(gasps)

Oh, no, my car.

Guess we're taking the bus.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, yay, the bus!

I mean, oh, no, the bus.

MAN (over P.A.): Attention,
all Marbella guests and employees.

The hotel is official on
lockdown due to the hurricane.

ROGELIO (over P.A.): Oh,
and does anyone have L'Oréal

visible lift blur concealer
number in medium warm?

No.

This simply won't do.

I need more colors to work with.

(gasps) Mateo, run over to Abuela's room

and borrow her foundations.

Go! Hurry!

One?

(chuckles) Dad says Mateo's
being a good wingman.

Ha! Scared about what that means.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And that's when...

- Oh, my God.
- (sighs)

You're famous.

_

_

That's my book!

BUS DRIVER: Sit down now!

It's so tiny I can barely see it,
but that's my book!

That's your book.

Oh, I used to sit on this bus and write.

Dreaming of this.

- I know.
- (sighs): Oh.

So doesn't that, at
least, feel meant to be?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends,
what could she say, but...

No, that doesn't feel like meant to be,

because that would
make it sound too easy.

And it was an incredible
amount of hard work

and effort and determination

and overcoming obstacles and
fighting through disappointments

and failures.

It was a choice.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And that's when it hit her.

In a moment of fate, or destiny,

- or pure happenstance...
- Pen and paper.

I need a pen and paper.
I need a pen and paper.

_

BUS DRIVER: End of the line.

Um...

(thunder rumbling)

You think you can get us a little closer

to the Marbella Hotel?

I-I'm sorry.

He doesn't understand

how public transportation works.

Be careful with the dress!

This thing is so well packed,

we could take it to the top
of Everest and we'd be fine.

Oh, God! Oh, God, no,
no, no, no, no, no!

Not safe! Get it back in the bag quick!

Oh!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I told you they'd make a mess.

(thunder rumbling)

Oh, quick!

(Jane screaming)

Welcome. Welcome to the Marbella.

Sorry the Fairwick failed you.

Next time, maybe choose a
hotel that has a safety plan.

Wait. We can't do this.

We have to keep this room clear
for the Villanueva wedding.

We're in the middle of a hurricane.

Rafael was very clear. He promised Jane.

Of course he did.

JANE: My dress is in my backpack, so...

I am so sorry.

I feel terrible.

(thunder rumbling)

(sobbing)

(laughing)

Are you okay, Mom?

ALBA: Xiomara?

Of course my dress in ruined.

Look around.

We're getting married in
the middle of a hurricane.

Oh, who cares?

I just want to marry your father.

Okay. Well, then we'll make do.

Hey, we got the hookup at the gift shop.

Oh, and you know what,

I won't even wear my dress,

so that I don't distract from the bride.

No, it's fine.

You're the officiant,
so you should stand out.

(chuckles)

What?

(both laugh)

(electricity crackles, Jane gasps)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
On the bright side,

at least no one will see Jane's dress.

JANE: All rise.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
It should be noted that on the day

of Xiomara Gloriana
Villanueva's wedding,

the power was out, her dress was ruined,

there weren't even any paper cranes

because they were deemed a fire hazard,

but it was still completely magical.

And Xiomara, well, she looked perfect.

At least to the people
who loved her most.

Which includes me.

(”Bridal Chorus” playing)

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today to witness

the marriage of two people...

who are not meant to be.

(thunder rumbling)

It's true.

They met when they were teenagers,

and they were both a mess, honestly.

And then they didn't see each
other again for years.

And the reunion?

That was a mess, too.

Breakups and makeups
and misunderstandings

and hurt feelings and
old resentments...

- (thunder crashes)
- See?

Even Mother Nature seems
to be rooting against them.

My parents are here today,
not because they are meant to be,

but because they chose each other.

In the face of a million obstacles,

they chose each other.

When it seemed like they should give up,

they chose each other.

And they keep choosing each other,

in the face of every single
twist and turn life brings them,

every single day.

And that is not destiny.

That is not fate.

That's commitment.

For richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,

through stormy days and sunny skies,

they have earned their happy ending.

And by the power vested in me

by the Circle of Life Sacred Church,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Dad, kiss Mom.

- Yeah.
- (laughs)

(people whooping)

Pretty weird wedding.

What are you doing here?

My hotel was evacuated, remember?

(thunder rumbling)

And I was looking for you...

'cause that ceremony, it reminded me...
of us.

Look, we break up, we make up.

We always come back together.

I was watching you all night long.

Watching him.

And all I kept thinking was,

“Is she gonna turn
around and look at me? ”

(door opens)

Rafael, I'm sorry. That was a mistake.

It didn't mean anything.

We've been back together for a week.

I know!

I was just feeling very insecure,

and-and he was saying
all the right things,

and it just happened.

Insecure about what?

You and Jane.

Yeah, I know.

You're going to say
you're just best friends,

but that's not it.

She looks at you

like... like that's not it.

Okay, you are way off.

No, I'm not.

And you chose her before.

A long time ago.
That's not what's happening.

So you're saying if you found
out Jane had feelings for you,

that wouldn't change anything?

No, of course not.

I don't know that I believe that.

And, regardless, this
is why I didn't want

to get back together with you.

I was past this.

I-I don't want to be
worried about you and Jane.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And,
friends, at this moment,

all Petra wanted was for Rafael
to say no, to choose her,

and to keep choosing her.

Yeah, maybe you were right.

Okay.

So let's just...

go back to how things were.

(thunder rumbling)

(gentle Spanish music playing)

Daddy!

- Family dance!
- Okay.

(grunts)

Are you okay?

Yeah. Just, um...

I just broke things off

with, uh, P-E-T-R-A.

I want to be down.

What happened?

Well, remember all those reasons
you said we shouldn't date?

You were right.

We bring out the worst in each other.

No. No, I was wrong, remember?

Hey.

What?

Petra freaked out

because she thinks that you
still have feelings for me.

And that if I knew that...

I'd choose you.

Well, that's crazy.

That's what I said.

(lights click)

(people cheering, clapping)

Yes!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
“Destiny is a series of detours,”

a wise man once said.

Finally stopped raining.

Yeah.

So...

talk to me about Rafael.

What?

As a married lady...

I am an expert in hot and bothered,

and you looked pretty hot and bothered.

We were just dancing.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, fine. A little hot and bothered.

But I'm trying not to be.

Why?

Because he was getting
back together with Petra.

He was?

(groans) I... I guess it imploded,

and suddenly he was asking
me if I had feelings for him.

Oh, my God. What did you say?

No. Of course not.

Do you?

It's a step backwards.

Or forwards.

Did you even listen
to yourself up there?

How your dad and me kept
choosing each other.

Maybe he's your destiny.

I don't believe in destiny.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
She will before the night is over.

At least talk to him.

So, you're a love guru.

Why am I always sabotaging myself?

Join the club.

(laughs)

I'm being literal.

You should join my
exclusive dating club.

I could match you up in a heartbeat.

I already know who I'm meant to be with.

So what happened?

- Jane.
- Ugh!

I am so over the Villanuevas.

No kidding.

I mean, I know she still
has feelings for Rafael.

He might not believe me, but...

Wait. Wait, you told him?

Oh, honey, no, no, no.

Darcy rule number :

the name of the ex is not said
unless you want her in his head.

If you want to be with him,

don't take yourself out of the game.

Tell him how you feel.

Now.

Go!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends,
this was one of those moments

where life could go in either direction.

Jane, I've been looking for you.

Uh...

Where did you get this?

Maybe it'll make more sense to you.

A couple from your old
apartment got in touch

with the tenant from before them,

and then something about a floorboard.

Some guy brought it.

He's waiting on the south patio.

MICHAEL: Dear Jane,

first, sorry for being goofy
in the priest's office.

I was just nervous,
because I was scared about

writing something for you, a writer.

And I've been thinking
about what to say,

which got me to thinking how lucky I was

to have met you at all,
and all the small twists of fate

that led me to you in
the first place...

Krishna, have you seen Rafael?

(cell phone chimes)

MICHAEL: and how, in a way, our destiny

was just a series of detours
bringing us back to each other,

again and again.

What should I do with these?

I don't care.

Raf?

Where is my phone?

Raf?

Hello, beautiful sister
with the ugly heart.

Wh-What's going on?
What are you doing here?

I stole Rafael's phone,

just like you stole my
Scott's phone that night.

- What? I...
- Stop lying!

I know all of what happened.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
This is true, for the record.

Remember the fateful taxi ride,

when I told you it'd make
a big mess of things?

Trust me. I know alcohol.

There is no way anyone goes
into a drunken blackout

off a little peach schnapps.

You were roofied.

The night my beloved Scott d*ed,
you text me from his phone.

He was never breaking up with me.

He was always loving me.

So now, I play same phone trick on you.

And it all comes kruh Se uzavrel.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Or,
“full circle,” as it were.

Which unfortunately brings us here.

What the hell are you doing here?

I told you to leave.

I'm not going anywhere.

Where did you get that?

I am thinking we were meant
to be in car ride together.

You helped me,

now I can help you.

My dead husband

found addition to your father's will.

Rafael gets nothing.

Zero. Zilch.

Which means the hotel, the trust,

everything is mine.

Which means you're the one

that needs to get out.

Now.

MICHAEL: A twist of fate.

The night we met, that's
what it felt like.

I wasn't even supposed to be working.

- _
- I'd picked up a shift for my buddy

whose kid was playing in a recital.

And then I was technically off,
but I took a detour

and stopped for a burger
a few blocks away.

And I was heading back
to the precinct when...

DISPATCHER (over radio):
We've got a noise complaint on th.

Any units nearby who can check it out?

Yeah, I'm right there.

(siren whoops)

MICHAEL:
If not for that recital and that burger,

I might not have ended
up on the doorstep

of a drunk -year-old girl.

That's not just a
series of coincidences.

It's destiny.

And I never doubted you were mine.

And never doubt that all I want,
forever and always,

is for you to be happy.

MAN: Jane.

Adam?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes.

Jane's first love.

I did say we'd get back to him.

I used to live in that apartment.

I found the letter.

I didn't know it was yours.

I never thought I'd see you again.

(exhales)