04x14 - Chapter Seventy-Eight

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: Friends, let's start
with some happy news.

Jane and Rafael
were finally together.

And even more exciting?
Jane had a writing breakthrough.

I want to write about my mom.
Our relationship.

Oh, and her father Rogelio
had a breakthrough, too.

His American remake
of The Passions of Santos

got the green light...

when superstar
River Fields

agreed to costar.

And, honestly,
I didn't think she'd say yes,

especially after...

(SCREAMS)

I know! Straight out
of a telenovela remade

for American
audiences, right?

Well, imagine this.

Petra was under investigation
for her sister's death,

so she hired a lawyer,

Jane Ramos, aka J.R

And then this happened.

And Petra was super into it.

- Only problem?
- It was a onetime thing.

But it seemed like maybe Petra
was having a hard time

- letting go.
- J.R., wait!

You left your pen.

Yikes.

Oh, and one more thing
I can't forget friends,

even though I've tried.

The biopsy
came back positive.

I have breast cancer.

Which is where we left off.

When Xiomara Gloriana
Villanueva

was four years old...

Mommy, I don't feel good.

Fortunately,
Alba always knew

just what Xo needed
to feel better.

What is that stuff, even?

♪ EERIE SOUND ♪

And, friends,
whether it was a cold

or a skinned knee,

Alba's magical potion
always worked.

(RETCHING)

Until one day, it didn't.

XIOMARA:
Don't bother.

I'm pregnant.

And, alas,
all the Vivaporu in the world

wasn't going to help with this.

You have stage III
invasive lobular carcinoma.

At least it appears
to be stage III

from what we can see
in the imaging.

Unfortunately,
this strain is rather sneaky

and doesn't present well
in scans.

Is there any involvement
in her lymph nodes?

As far
as we can tell, no.

Which is a good thing.

- So...
- So, um,

what are her treatment options?

We'll go straight to surgery
and then we'll use chemo

as a systemic treatment later.

As for surgery,
you have some choices.

You can have a
lumpectomy, a mastectomy,

or you can have a prophylactic
bilateral mastectomy...

Both breasts removed... out
of an abundance of caution.

All have about
the same odds of survival.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Survival?

Who was talking
about survival?

- What do you recommend?
- It's up to the patient.

Some patients
like to preserve

breast tissue,
while others choose

a double mastectomy
for peace of mind.

Though I want to stress,
your other breast is perfectly healthy.

It's your choice.

But I'd like to get the cancer out
as soon as possible.

Yes. O-Okay.

Let me think about it.

You okay?

Yeah.

(RINGTONE PLAYS)

(RINGING STOPS)

That was your agent.

I'll call him back.

You're in preproduction.

- I'm pushing the pilot.
- No, you're not.

Life has to go on.

I mean it. It has to.

Of course.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
We all handle crisis differently.

I have nothing quippy to add.

It's just a fact.

Jane, of course, has her...

Research.
That's what I'm focused on.

Research and organization.

My mom's so overwhelmed.
I just want

to make things
as clear and easy as possible.

Right. Well, let me know
if you need anything.

Oh, would you mind telling Petra?

- She knew that we were
waiting for the results.
- Sure.

And could you also let her know

that I'm going to need
a few days off?

Of course.

Hey, where's Mommy?

BOTH:
In her room.

PETRA:
Jane, I'm calling because...

well, the truth is,

I like you.

More than I want
to admit.

So, let's go on a date.
(CHUCKLES)

I know this is
terrible timing,

given everything that's
going on with your mother

and, well,
everything else.

But I have to speak my truth
because, well,

Oprah says it's the most
powerful tool we have. (SCOFFS)

Oprah.
What am I doing?

Jane, I have unexpected

and strong romantic feelings
for you.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
You know what, just text.

That's all?

Come on, Petra, you can
do better than that.

Oof.

Hey. When'd you
get here?

Just now.

Oh. What's up?

I came here to talk
to you about Jane,

who, as you know, I'm dating,

romantically.

Yes, I know.

What is it?

Xo's test came back.

She has cancer.

Stage III.

Oh, my God, no.

Poor Xo.

And Jane.

What?

(SCOFFS) You know,
I many not show it,

but I care about Jane

very deeply.

What does she need?

Just fewer waitressing shifts.

And space.
Plenty of space.

(KNOCKS)

Hey.

You're early for dinner.

I wanted to talk
to you first.

Mm.

I know, after
the doctor's office,

you probably came
straight home

and started researching,

making color-coded lists

and spreadsheets...

NARRATOR:
I mean, for a writer,

she really is a whiz at Excel.

I mean, very simple spreadsheets.

Just don't

bombard your mom
with that stuff at dinner.

You can't overwhelm her right now

with facts and binders.

Like I was gonna
bring a binder to dinner.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Okay, I won't bring
the binder,

but she has to
make a decision.

And she will.

But she needs time.

Well, that's the one thing
what she doesn't have, Dad.

If she waits, the cancer
can spread to her lymph nodes,

and then we'll have
much more to worry about.

Honestly, I think she should
get a double mastectomy.

No breast tissue means
it's less likely to come back.

I actually agree.

But we have to let her come
to her decision on her own.

Let's just try to have
a nice, normal dinner.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah, here we are...

A nice, normal dinner.

Can I have some chicken?

Sure. Thigh, breast...

Wing. Breast-wing.

NARRATOR:
Come on, Ro,

this is no time to act
like a boob.

So, Dad, how is work?

Good. Everything's
going as planned.

Of course,
River's being a diva.

She is so high-maintenance.
Literally,

the makeup lady has
to stand on a stool

just to glue on
her prosthetic brows.

Okay, let's just talk about it.

I don't know what to do.

Where's the binder?

In my room.

Honestly, I think
double mastectomy.

The cancer's aggressive.

This way, you won't
worry about recurrence.

Really?
Preventative surgery?

Yes.

Dad agrees with me, too.

You do?

But it's your choice.

And I won't pressure
you either way.

We can't tiptoe
around this.

- We have to talk about these things.
- Jane's right.

What do you think?

So, everyone thinks I should
have a double mastectomy?

We do.

Okay,
then...

I'll schedule
the surgery.

I guess I'll take
two breasts.

NARRATOR:
Ugh, why couldn't it have been

pasta night?

NARRATOR:
There is something to be said

for making a decision.

Certainly if you're Jane.

I'm Dr. Park.

Xiomara.

This is my husband, Rogelio,

and my daughter, Jane.

Nice to meet you.

Always good to have
a big support system.

So, can you walk us
through the process?

Of course,
yes.

Um, during the
initial surgery,

we'll put in expanders,
to make room for the implants.

You'll need to decide
on silicone or saline.

And, of course,
shape and size.

We have round, teardrop,

medium, massive.

Oh, I just want this
to be over.

I understand.

But reconstruction is
an involved process.

I'll need to see you regularly
for a few months

while we stretch
the expanders

and ensure you're
healing properly.

And to make sure
we're managing your pain.

How will they feel?

They'll look and feel
pretty much the same.

But keep in mind,
there will be

some loss of sensation,
especially if we have to

reconstruct the nipples.

(SIGHS)

Would you guys like
a-a minute to talk?

Yes, please.

Of course.

(ROGELIO CLEARS THROAT)

Sorry, it's just a lot
to take in.

I know.
Listen,

after the exam,
you'll just tell him

you want to match
what you have. That's it.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah. And then
off to a spa.

I'm serious.

You need a spa day to relax
before the surgery.

Yes, good. No,
I like that idea.

Will you come?

Of course.

Great.

It'll be my treat.

Thanks. And would you mind
keeping an eye on Mom

while we're gone?

She's going to the
medical supply store

to get things
for after my surgery.

I think it's gonna
be hard on her.

Say no more. You two will have
a relaxing spa day,

and I will go with your mother
to the medical supply store.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Talk about drawing the short straw.

Great. Okay.

I think a spa day
will be nice.

Why are you doing a spa day?

Because, Mateo,
Abuela is sick.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, I hate this part so much.

Sick how?

She has something
called cancer.

My friend Andrew's grandpa
had cancer, and he d*ed.

Is Abuela gonna die?

No.

She has really good doctors,
okay?

Can we pray?

Yes. I would love that.
Come on.

♪ ♪

How's he doing?

Worried, but okay.

And thanks for
telling Petra.

She said she was
gonna stop by.

What?
Yeah. Any minute.

Oh. Uh...

See, I actually need
to talk to you about that.

- Mm-hmm.
- PETRA: Hello?

- Petra, hi.
- Jane.

I'm so sorry
about your mother.

I brought you
some Czech comfort food.

It's soup to soothe the nerves.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Maybe Rafael should have a bowl.

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

There's an old Czech saying.

The heavier the borscht,
the lighter the burden.

Well, I appreciate that.

Jane, I've been
thinking about you

nonstop since
I heard the news.

(SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS)

- What?
- Nothing.

Good. Now, do you
want to eat that now,

or should I put it
in the fridge?

NARRATOR:
What do you say?

- Up for some borscht?
- Fridge is fine.

Hmm.

(PHONE CHIMES)
NARRATOR: Finally! A reply.

That's it?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ugh, this is t*rture.

Petra, you got to work
on your text game.

Why are you
acting so weird?

(SIGHS)

That's what I wanted
to tell you.

I think Petra has...

feelings for you.

- What?
- (WHISPERING): Romantic ones.

I overheard her saying
she wanted to ask you out,

even though she knows
it's complicated.

She said she had to,
to speak her truth.

Really?

- Right. Where were we?
- Oh...

Soup. We were at soup.

It's the least I can do. Jane.

- Mm.
- You're important to me.

I don't say it enough.

If there is anything
you need, call me.

(CLEARS THROAT)

What's going on with you two?

Nothing.

Do you have romantic feelings
for me?

What?!

Raf said you wanted
to ask me out.

- Ew! Why would you say that?
- Ew? That is...

I heard you

practicing a call...
to Jane.

Not that Jane!

(STAMMERS) I mean,

it was, like...
it's a little harsh.

I was talking about Jane Ramos,

my lawyer.

- Oh. Yeah, that makes sense.
- Smoking hot.

That's exactly why I call her
“J.R.,” to avoid

this confusion.

Got it.

So, does this mean
you're into women now?

Do you get the vibe
that she likes you, too?

It's more than a vibe.

We had sex.

- (GASPS) What?
- Wow.

- JANE: How was it?
- RAF: Okay, then.
- PETRA: Okay, enough!

I'm not talking
to you two about this.

I meant what I said.
Call me if you need anything.

Non-sexual.

- Got it.
- Because I would rather

go to Chuck E. Cheese
during flu season than...

Yup, loud and clear.

- That was unexpected.
- Right?

But we have to
respect her wishes

and mind our own business.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
But...

But I have so many questions!
(LAUGHS)

- Hey, you got to give her credit.
- Mm.

She took your mind
off your mom for a minute.

Mmm.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us here.

(RINGTONE PLAYS)

Talk to me, Barry.
(SIGHS)

Can I help you?

Uh, um,

I need these items,
please, for home care.

Bilateral mastectomy, huh?

Yeah, the patient has
a long road ahead.

Very painful.
All those drains.

She's not a patient.
She's my daughter.

I am aware that she will be
in pain. That's obvious.

I don't need
to hear it from you.

I'm sorry. I-I was
just trying to help.

If you're trying to help,

why don't you try
and do your job

and keep your useless opinions
to yourself?!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah, here we are,

trying to get Xo's mind
off of boobs.

Well, let's focus
on the intake form, shall we?

Allergies? No.
Retinol products? No.

Is there a complimentary
hand massage

after we fill all this out?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
No kidding.

You know what?

Let me take care
of this for you.

Okay. Thanks.

I'm sorry, Ma. I mean, this was
supposed to get your mind off...

- Off what? My boobs?
- Eh.

(LAUGHS) Then get me the heck
out of this locker room.

It's a nonstop boob parade.

(SNORTS)

I mean, seriously.
It's like Mardi Gras in here.

Come on. We're getting
massages and then mud baths.

ELSA:
Did you pack our shampoo?

We don't like Daddy's.
It's too perfumy.

Don't worry.

Everything you need is packed,
including shampoo.

(PHONE CHIMES)

You know what? I'm going
to take you to Daddy's today.

Is today Sunday?

Uh, no.

It's Thursday, buddy.

Can we go to church anyway?

Well, why do you want to
go to church?

To pray,
so Abuela doesn't die.

(WHISPERING): Raf, I can't
talk now, I'm sorry.

RAFAEL: I just don't
want Mateo to think

that Xo's life is in his hands.

Tell him that's not
how it works.

You know religion isn't exactly

- my strong suit.
- I have to go.

You'll figure it out.
I have faith.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Hey, girls.

Oh.

I figured one of the nannies
was bringing them.

I do things, too.

I'm a very hands-on mom.

Girls, get in the tent, please.

Mateo, you, too.

You can take my iPad.

Can we speak in private?

(SIGHS) I know I said I didn't
want to talk to you about J.R.,

but you and Jane are the only
ones who know about us,

so I have no choice.

Plus, J.R. is kind of
a player, and,

well, you used to be a player,
so maybe you could

- offer some insight.
- Okay.

See, I sent her this text asking her

if she wanted to meet,
and then she wrote back asking if

it was about the case, and now,
I don't know what to say back.

- Well...
- Because it's not about the case.

It's about my personal feelings.

But if I tell her that,
it could easily scare her off.

- I think...
- Because the thing about J.R. is,

she's complex.

And a little hard to pin down.

But that's also what's
so compelling about her.

And the way she takes care

of her mother,
she's so patient and nurturing.

But she's also
incredibly smart,

and shrewd, as a legal
professional, and the sex...

Oh, my God, that's on another
level... ugh, you can't imagine

But she just makes me
so nervous, and I've never

been nervous
around anyone before.

I've always felt so in control.

Like with you, it was just
“Sit, beg, roll over,” so easy.

- But I can't do that with J.R.
- Petra!

You want the player's advice?

Don't get into
your feelings

over text. All right?

Just tell her
it's not about the case.

And then,
when she shows up,

woo her.

“Woo” her?

Come on. What would I do?

A nice bottle of wine,

candlelight,
flowers...

NARRATOR: “Wonderful” might be
an overstatement.

He had to call six therapists
before he found one

janky enough to do
an ambush session.

The good news is,

Alba is definitely in touch

with her feelings
about Rogelio.

How are you feeling?

Weird.

That was for you
to ask yourself.

Silently.

- Oh.
- My name is Satchet.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Of course it is.

I'm going to guide you.

So breathe in.
(INHALES)

Closing your eyes.

And as you sink
into the mud,

really feel your stress
start to fade away.

Deep breath in.

(INHALES)

And...

- Ah...
- Ah...

Focus on your inner light,

and allow it to radiate
through your entire body.

Beginning in your heart,

and allow it to expand

your chest with
every breath,

moving from your arms
and your legs,

fully engaging your body.

(STRAINING)

(EXHALES)

And out,

as you really
take this moment to appreciate

your body.

It's the only one
you'll ever get.

Honor it.

Admire the way your body
never gives up on you.

Our bodies
are our living history.

They carry our memories,

so thank your body for
making you who you are.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Hmm.

She's not looking too relaxed.

Yikes. Neither is she.

Mom
What's wrong?

I think I just want
a lumpectomy.

- What?
- SATCHET: Reminder.

This is a “no chitchat” zone.

(QUIETLY):
You made a decision.

The surgery's scheduled.

Let's focus on
our breathing.

In... (INHALES)

- I decided I love my boobs,
- And out.

and I don't want
to get rid of them unless I have to.

They're just boobs.

Why would you take the risk?

You heard Satchel.

Satchet. And shush.

My body makes me who I am.
It has never given up on me,

and I am not giving up on it.

- You're not giving up.
- Ladies.

You know what?
This conversation is over.

No breast tissue
means less risk.

It also means no breasts.

(GRUNTS)

SATCHET: Careful.

You're just tracking mud
everywhere.

Get over it!

It's my mud, and it's my body.

Mom! Wait!

Mom, slow down.
I'm just surprised

because you decided
already, remember?

Like, for peace of mind.

- Your peace of mind.
- What?

Seriously, would it k*ll you
to put on a robe?

This isn't a nudist colony.

See? That's what you
don't understand.

They don't want
to wear robes.

They like
being naked

and I do, too.

I like my body.

A-And I like
showing it off.

It's part of who I am.

You and I have different
relationships to our bodies, Jane,

and I don't know if I want
to have elective surgery

for your peace of mind.

I'm sorry.

You're right.

I'm just scared, so...

I know.

- Come here.
- Oh, I'm the one

that's supposed to be
supporting you right now,

not the other way around.

Hey, I'm still your mom...

no matter what.

NARRATOR: And from
a mother and daughter...

to a father and son.

Daddy, I just prayed
really hard to God

so now Abuela
won't have cancer. Right?

NARRATOR: Are you gonna drop the
“you don't believe in God” b*mb

now or later?

You know, that's actually
not how it works, buddy.

Just because you prayed

doesn't mean Abuela
won't get sick.

So, why do we pray then?

I don't understand.

Your mom always says that
praying gives us strength

to get through hard times.

And this is one
of those hard times.

So, if praying
makes you feel strong

like a lion...

then you should
keep doing it.

Will you do it with me?

(CHIMES)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Hi. I'm River Fields'
personal assistant.

I'm dropping this off
for Xiomara de la Vega.

I am Xiomara's mother.

Everyone at the office
is so sorry

to hear about what's happened.

And, uh, Ms. Fields would've
sent this out last week,

but she was still recovering
from her eyebrow reconstruction.

Wait. Uh, Rogelio
told everyone last week?

Yeah,

when he called to say
he was pushing production

on the show indefinitely.

NARRATOR:
And that's when Alba realized

that River Fields
wasn't the only one

who'd suffered
an unfair browbeating.

(SIGHS)

I just need or want
my mom to understand

that a more
aggressive surgery

is scary now, but
in the long run, it'll be...

It's not your job

to make Xo understand
your point of view.

It's your job
to understand hers.

I've been there before...

Had cancer,

so I understand
what she's going through.

Whatever you need to do
to process this,

do it,

and leave your mom
some space for her feelings.

NARRATOR:
And so, Jane processed,

pouring herself
into her newest work,

the mother-daughter piece,
you'll recall.

I thought this was just gonna be
a quick work meeting.

It's a...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Choice.

Romantic gesture?

(LAUGHS)

Look, honestly, all these bells
and whistles creep me out a little.

Well, good news. Me, too.

Then why'd you do it?

Well... because...

well, I just wanted
to get you into bed again.

(CHUCKLES)

That's what I thought.

Look, we're not right
for each other.

We're both too manipulative.

You're not my type.

Now, is there anything
about the case

that we need to discuss?

No.

Okay then.

I should go
'cause I have a date.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ouch.

Great.

Have fun.
(CHUCKLES)

I mean, can you believe
she said that?

I'm everyone's type.

I'm sorry it didn't go well.

If I'm not her type,
then who is?

Not that I care,
I'm just curious.

You should probably
let it go, huh?

(HORN HONKING)

Move!

- Where are you going?
- Nowhere.

Wait, you're not following her,
are you?

No, of course not.
Definitely not.

- I have to go.
- Wait, w-where are you going?

(GASPS)
(CRASHING)

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow, talk
about your bells and whistles.

What the hell are you doing
here? Are you stalking me?

What?! No.

I was just
meeting someone.

Same place you were,
evidently.

Okay, fine.
I followed you.

Why would you do that?

Well, because, I guess,
I just wondered

if I'm not your type,
who is your type?

And then next thing I knew,
I was driving after you.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, my God!
This is so not me.

All of it! I don't obsess
about what I'm wearing

or over-analyze
text messages

or stalk anyone!

I get stalked.
I've been stalked.

Multiple times.

I mean, I have been
kidnapped twice.

I'm sorry, are you bragging
about being kidnapped?

I don't know what I'm doing.

I have no idea what the hell
is going on with me,

except that I like you.

Okay?

And it's not just
about the sex, clearly.

And I should go.

Enjoy the rest
of your date.

Sorry about this part of it.

(CAR DOOR SLAMS)

NARRATOR:
Wow. What a wreck.

Hey, bud. Want to go upstairs

and grab your stuff?

Do you have a minute?

Sure.

Um, I just wanted to say
I'm so sorry

that you're going through this.

It's not easy.

I remember.

You know, I actually forgot

you've been through
cancer, too.

Yeah.

Oh, it is a club
you don't want to join.

I don't know about you,
but for me,

it didn't even feel real
at first.

It was like I knew everything
the doctor was saying

and I-I understood
the steps to take,

but I was still
detached somehow.

It feels like I'm in
a movie or something.

That's so stressful,
you know?

To have to make
life-changing decisions

when I'm barely even able
to process my diagnosis.

And luckily, everyone has an
opinion on what you should do.

Exactly.

My advice?

You got to clear out
the noise.

Make room
for your own feelings.

NARRATOR:
And so, Xo took Raf's advice

and gave herself time
to reflect,

while her daughter wrote.

♪ TOMORROW, BY HEATHER BOND ♪

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ Go to sleep ♪

♪ Dream your dreams of me ♪

♪ I'm wishing on ♪

Yeah!

♪ The stars for you ♪

♪ Out our window ♪

♪ That I see ♪

One more button, Mom.

Got it.

♪ Here ♪

You don't have to
have a baby.

♪ I won't let it go ♪

XIOMARA:
I just wanted you to know

that you had a choice,
because having one

it helps, I think.

♪ Tell you how
I love you so ♪

That's what makes a good playboy.

You never feel like
you're getting played.

♪ You'll wake to find me... ♪

Now, if you don't go have sex

with that obscenely hot
telenovela star,

your mother will never
forgive you.

I'm still your mom...

no matter what.

♪ I fell for those eyes... ♪

NARRATOR:
And suddenly, Xiomara knew

who she needed to talk to
right now.

♪ Tomorrow ♪

♪ You'll wake to find me ♪

♪ Here. ♪

Can we talk?

RAFAEL: We can't bother
Mommy, she's writing.

MATEO: Daddy, can we pray again?

RAFAEL:
Of course.

NARRATOR:
And maybe it was the fact

that she had put all her
feelings down on paper,

or maybe it was seeing Rafael
put his own beliefs aside

to help someone he loved...

Or a combination of both...

But in that moment,
Jane made a choice.

I know I need
to make a choice.

And as I've been considering
my decision,

I started thinking
about my life,

and I realized
some things.

And you're the only one
I want to talk about it with.

Really?

You've been leaning
on Jane so much.

I know. Because that's
what I've always done.

But that's part
of what I realized.

Things are different now.

I'm different.

How do you mean?

Well... (SIGHS)

For most of my life,
I've been a single mother,

leading with my body.

It's how I attracted men.

It's where most of my
confidence came from.

It's how I defined myself.

(SNIFFLES)

And it's hard...

to let those pieces
of me go.

(EXHALES)

Because it feels like
I'm giving up myself.

But then I realized...

none of what defined me before

defines me now.

I'm a wife.

Your wife.

You are...

my wife.

And if I go through
with the double mastectomy,

my sex appeal may change.

And that's why I wanted to come
to this decision with you,

because even though
it's my body,

it's our life.

I would love to.

NARRATOR:
Which brings us here, now.

Can I talk to you?

I just need you to know

I'm sorry for pushing.

Of course
it's your choice.

My feelings totally
set aside.

Whatever you decide,
I am in favor of.

Thanks, hon.

Oh.

And I get it.

I mean, we've functioned
like a unit for so long,

I turn to you first.

But I have to look
to my husband.

Ma, are you breaking up
with me?

No. I'm just saying

there are “you and me” things,

and there are
“him and me” things.

And...

Rogelio and I have
come to a decision.

And I've actually decided

to have a single
mastectomy.

Absolutely.

Thanks.

So, it's time to say
good-bye to my boob.

But not without a proper
send-off, a good-bye party.

I love that.
A bon boob-age party.

- We can make a boob cake.
- With...

my husband.

Right.

Of course,
that is a “you guys” thing.

Uh, I'll just say good-bye
to your boob now.

- Bye-bye, boobie.
- (LAUGHS)

ROGELIO:
Good-bye, Leftie.

Tata and I will miss you.

And though I'm sad
to lose you,

I'm grateful for these years
that you have adorned the chest

of the most magnificent
woman in the world.

And tonight...
I honor you.

(LAUGHS)

I never knew you had
nicknames for my boobs.

Oh, I have many, many
nicknames because I have thought

about your breasts
for many, many hours.

(CHUCKLES)

And I will miss you,

and I love you.

But I love Xiomara more.

NARRATOR:
What a relief to know that

even when times are hard,

romance is alive and well.

Unless you're Petra.

Are those yoga pants?

Wow, she's really taking
the whole J.R. thing hard.

Okay, that's a new low.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

What are you doing here?

I was impressed
back at the restaurant.

Now, that is what I call
a romantic gesture.

What about your date?

She wouldn't have driven
into a carwash for me.

Let alone a car.

So, listen,
vulnerable Petra

is way hotter
than ice queen Petra.

I don't need games.

Understood.

I really, really
like you...

a lot.

Yeah.

I got that.

You taste funny.

I might have been eating
pickles in bed.

Um, I'm gonna go
brush my teeth.

Wait.

NARRATOR:
Okay, then,

these two make quite a pair,
don't they?

Speaking of which...

It was everything
I wanted it to be.

Now it's just facing the reality
of surgery tomorrow.

Scared.

Really, Ma?

I don't see how Vicks VapoRub
can help us now.

NARRATOR:
I know. All that time

it was just Vicks VapoRub.

Fine. Go ahead.

NARRATOR: But that
didn't make it less magical.

JANE:
Hey.

Can I get in on some of that
Vivaporu action, too?

- (LAUGHS)
- Is this a “we” thing?

Come.

NARRATOR: It really
does make things feel better.

But, unfortunately,

it can't stop evil
from coming.

You know what, friends?
We've been through a lot.

And since we've been
talking choices,

I choose to save this
and soothe us all instead

with a little Vivaporu.