02x19 - Destroyer

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Guardians of the Galaxy". Aired: September 2015 to June 2019.*
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"Guardians of the Galaxy" picks up where the film left off and they patrol the universe protecting it from various villains that thr*aten it.
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02x19 - Destroyer

Post by bunniefuu »

Listen up, people.
Here's what we know so far.

J'Son, aka my jerk of a dad,
has five Centurion helmets.

Incredibly powerful objects
in the wrong hands...

aka my dad's hands...

could be used to take over the galaxy.

We need to find
our friend Adam Warlock,

the only being who could stand up
to the power of those helmets.

And how do we do that, Quill?

It ain't like the guy left us
a krutackin' forwarding address.

Good point, Rocket.

But we do know people
who've mentioned myths

from their home worlds about Warlock.

One of them, unfortunately, no longer has
his original home world to investigate.

I am Groot.

Which leaves us with one last option.

That's a stretch even for you, Quill.

If Drax knew something about how to contact
Warlock, why not mention it before?

Because, Gamora,
I did not wish to speak of it.

You've been holding out on us,
ya big, green cue ball? Spill!

But I have no liquid to spill.

It's a metaphor, dummy!

It means tell us what you know
before I blast it outta ya!

It will take more than feeble
threats to get me to admit

that my planet has a temple
that, according to legend,

contains a beacon
that can summon the Warlock.

O-kay.

So, I'm thinking we set a course
for Drax's home world now.

Absolutely not.

I refuse to return there
under any circumstance!

Nor will I discuss the matter
any further!

But...

Hey! I worked hard on that!

Okay. What say we just back off and
soothe that stress with a little tuneage?

♪ Love's a roller coaster... ♪

These words make no sense.

How can love be a roller coaster

when one can neither see, nor touch it?

It's a song, Drax.
The lyrics don't matter,

as long as it swings, baby.

Really? You're gonna go
with another metaphor?

You just have to crank it up

and tune out the rest of the world.

Okay, set a course
for Drax's home world.

What?! What did you say?!

I am Groot.

Of course it's dishonest.
That's why it'll work.

Quill! What have you done?

You deceived me!

I would recognize
my home planet's scent anywhere!

I'm sorry, man.

I didn't wanna lie, but the universe...

kind of in mortal danger right now.

And look, we didn't think
you'd come if we told the truth.

You are correct.

There's a lot more at stake than
you not wanting to face your past.

Behold, the Temple of the Destroyer!

Everybody else just seeing a rock wall?

The temple lies beyond the rock wall.

Only one can pass through it to the
sacred space within... the Destroyer.

- Imposter!
- Huh?

You are not the Destroyer.

I am the Destroyer.

You should never have returned, Drax!

Xeron, cease this att*ck.

I mean you no harm.

That makes one of us!

You think you can
bribe me with this delicacy?

It is not even cooked!

I'll show ya cooked!

Do not interfere!

This is my fight and mine alone!

For once we agree, Drax the Traitor.

Only a coward lets others
fight their battles.

Well, that's just too bad, lady, 'cause
we're the Guardians, and we stick together!

What do your adhesive properties
have to do with this fight?

Oh, great. Another of
the metaphorically challenged.

That's it!

I am Groot!

You may have secured victory, Drax,
but you did so without honor.

Which is why I am
the one true Destroyer.

Isn't that more of a Drax thing?

He insults our sacred traditions
by bearing that title.

And to return now, of all times,
with the Warlock upon us.

So you know about Warlock.

It is my sworn duty.

When the Warlock returns, the
Destroyer must enter the temple

to summon him with the sacred beacon,

and destroy him.

Okay, you had me at "summon,"
then you lost me at "destroy."

Xeron, there is much we must
discuss in regard to the Warlock.

I have nothing to discuss with a heretic
who turned his back on his duty

to pursue fame and fortune.

That is not true!

I did it for love.

There was a time when being crowned
Destroyer meant everything to me.


Xeron and I trained together, competing
for this highest honor among our people.


Eventually, the time came when I
was given what I desired most.


I became Drax the Destroyer.

Though fate had other plans for me.

I knew the Destroyer
was forbidden to have a family,


but I could not deny
my feelings for Ovette.


So we fled our home, never to return.

You swore an oath, Drax.

The bonds of friends and
family make you weak.

The Destroyer walks alone.

And I have.
My wife and daughter...

they perished at the hands of
Thanos and his puppet, Ronan.

I am vexed that my feelings for
them can bring such happiness

and also such pain.

Well, maybe because love
is like a roller coaster?

Metaphor.
I do not understand it,

but I have learned to identify it.

I do not care
for your meaningless words.

I became Destroyer in your
absence, but only by default.

I could never live up to your legacy.

Only the true
Destroyer can enter the temple.

Then perhaps, for all my sins,

I am still the true Destroyer?

Just once,

couldn't these
mystic mumbo jumbo prophecies

come with an instruction manual?

The instructions are clear.

We must battle to the finish so the
true Destroyer may be revealed.

No! Do not interfere!
This is my fight!

Drax!

We are inside
the Temple of the Destroyer.

Unacceptable.

Only one can enter the temple.

It is written.

And yet there are two.

Which means someone here
does not belong.

I am Groot.

Heed me.

I am the Sphinx, and this is my test.

The best answer destroys the question.

What walks on four legs in the morning,

two legs at midday,

and three in the evening?

Oh, it's a riddle.

Not just a riddle, a metaphor.

They're flarged.

It is a trial.

The temple seeks to find
the true Destroyer.

You, Sphinx,

bring me this many-limbed
creature, and I will dispatch it.

I do not think there is a creature.

It sounds more like a metaphor.

Enough with your strange words!
I will handle this!

All you have done is trigger a trap!

A trap that will end us both!

Xeron!

Do not touch me!

Did I do something wrong?

You interfered.

Have you forgotten our ways completely?

The Destroyer walks alone!

That has not been my experience.

Friends and allies
have helped me in the past.

Although, clearly, they will
not help me solve this riddle.

"It walks on four legs in the morning,

two at midday,
and three in the evening."

What creature has such attributes?

Oh, hang on. I remember this
one from when I was a kid.

It's man!

Because he starts out crawling
as an infant... four legs.

Then walks on two.

Then needs a cane in old age...
three legs.

I am Groot.

Yeah. I'll never get
humie biology either, bud.

Look! The Sphinx must have
seen my warrior spirit!

Or perhaps it is because
I destroyed the trap?

Which path do we take now?

Until I am measured I am not known,

yet how you miss me when I have flown.

What am I?

A new metaphor.

Enough games!

I am the Destroyer,
and the Destroyer acts!

No, Xeron! Wait!

Quill, "measured," "flown"...

The answer is time.

Great. So which of these squiggles
means "time" in Drax-ese?

Drax, you're running out
of
time to solve this riddle!

How do you know
I'm trying to solve a riddle?

Wait. Are you inside the temple?

Yeah.

No. You must go.

You are not permitted to be here!

Drax, who are you speaking to?

I am speaking to... myself.

We are running out of time.

Time!

Run to the symbol of time!

Whoo-hoo!

Why run when you can fly?

So this is why
you have been winning, Drax.

You were cheating!

Technically, we were the ones cheating.

Oh, and you're welcome.

But you are not!

Not here, not now, not ever!

When is what weighs you down

also what lifts you up?

"When is what weighs you down
also what lifts you up?"

What a difficult riddle. If only there
was someone

I could discuss it with.

Drax, can you hear me?
Say the riddle again.

Drax!

More cheating!


Have you not a shred of honor?

I am not cheating
because I am not competing.

We are being punished
for your weakness.

You call yourself the Destroyer,

but what have you ever destroyed
besides your own family?

You blame Thanos, you blame Ronan,

but the fault is yours!

You are right.

I was not strong enough
to protect them.

It is a shame I live with always.

I call myself Destroyer,

hoping one day I will believe it.

Do not just stand there! Lift!

Yeah! Ha!

I understand the riddle now.

The friends and family which
weigh us down also lift us up.

The temple wants us to work together.

Preposterous!

As I said, friends and allies
are always beneficial.

False! Your friends have
merely triggered another trap!

Is that... the beacon?

Ha! In your face, tattooed lady!

No! In that monster's chest!

Nobody panic. I can handle this.

We just need to soothe the savage
beast with a little music.

♪ ...dream, and you're real ♪

♪ 'Cause my heart's
beatin' through my chest ♪


♪ And... ♪

Okay, everybody can panic now.

No...

Xeron, attacking the Sphinx
will only endanger my friends.

We must attempt to solve the riddle.

All that matters
is retrieving the beacon.

And I will use it to summon
the Warlock and destroy him.

I must help my friends.

But riddles and metaphors...

The brain of Drax
does not work this way!

Yes! I will consult Quill's
Oracle of Metaphor!

I cannot parse these words
or their meanings.

Unless...
What was it Quill said?

"The lyrics do not matter,
so long as it swings."

Prepare to swing, foul beast!

You, too, Xeron!
Swing with Drax!

As I thought.

The temple does want us
to work together.

Oh, I feel like I'm
gonna hurl from getting hurled!

At last!

The Warlock shall be summoned
and destroyed.

We can't let you do that, Xeron.

Do you know the destruction
the Warlock has wrought

on my people throughout the ages?

This is my sacred duty.
Tell them, Drax!

I have met Adam Warlock.

He is an honorable, if naive soul.

You are on a first-name basis
with our hated enemy?

Does your betrayal know no bounds?

Guardians,
what... what's happened?

It's all right, Adam. We're here to help.
Just stay cool.

I don't want to be here!

Quill, we have a problem.
His gem's getting dark.

That's never a good sign.

Just look at him! His rage!
He is an animal!

What do you expect?
You have him in a cage!

He doesn't know
how to control his powers.

He just needs to calm down.

Let me go!

Drax!

You must fulfill your destiny.

Atone for your past mistakes.

What did your family bring
you in the end except loss?

Remember, the Destroyer walks alone!

Yes, my family brought me pain,

but it is a pain I carry gladly.

And their memory
makes me strong, not weak,

as do my friends.

Huh?

Huh?

Thank you, friend Drax.

I'm feeling much better now.

Why would the Warlock save my life

after I tried to end his?

A riddle to ponder, perhaps.

Okay, how's about we save the hugs for
when we get outta here? Great. Run!

The entrance is still gone.

The Sphinx called it a test. He said,
"The best answer destroys the question."

The question:
Who is the true Destroyer?

We are!

I owe you all an apology.

Whatever your Warlock once was,

he clearly does not deserve
to be destroyed.

If the Warlock does
become a thr*at to the galaxy,

I will not hesitate
to fulfill my destiny.

I would expect no less,
Xeron the Destroyer,

as I must fulfill my own destiny

to help the Guardians to rid
the galaxy of a great evil.

So you heard about my dad then.

Farewell, friend Drax.

I confess, our experience has
left me with many questions

about the true purpose
of the Destroyer.

Perhaps it is a metaphor.

Friends help us destroy
weakness, destroy ignorance,

so that we might be free
to become our best selves.

After my experience,
I thought I would try

to better understand "metaphor"
by writing a song of my own.

♪ When we met, I fell for you ♪

♪ Which is a lie
because my balance is true ♪

♪ My love for you
could fill the sea ♪

♪ But obviously not literally ♪

♪ Because love
is an abstract notion ♪

♪ And has no substance
with which to fill an ocean ♪

I am Groot!

Well, I don't think it literally

emits a foul stench,
but it kind of stinks.

Do not judge until you have
heard the other verses.

Must I remind you? The lyrics do
not matter, so long as it swings.

I'll show ya swingin'!
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