02x20 - You Can't Always Get What You Want

[bunniefuu]

Ah, flarg! The port
thruster blew out again!

Don't just stand there like a stump!
Toss me some duct tape!

I am Groot!

What do you mean you used it up

wrapping birthday presents
for your family?

They're still a bunch of twigs!

Perhaps I can help, Rocket.

Whoa! Watch the fur, Warlock!

Sorry. I was trying
to be useful.

If you really wanna be useful,

get me some krutackin' duct tape!

I am Groot.

This ship is much smaller
than I remembered, Gamora.

Not surprising. The last time you
were here, you were just a baby.

There was much spitting up
and changing of diapers.

Oh, don't remind me, Drax. We finally
got the smell out of the cushions.

So, Adam, I've been meaning to ask.

What have you been up to
since the last time we saw you?

I traversed the galaxy, Peter Quill,

seeking meaning and purpose.

At first, all I could see was chaos.

But then I think I found my true path.

This I gotta hear.

I have been purging
the galaxy of darkness

by absorbing villains and
evildoers into my cosmic gem.

When I am finished, only the light of
pure good will illuminate this universe.

No more bad guys?
Dude, that would be awesome!

More like stupid impossible.

All things are possible
if you open your mind.

I am Groot!

Eh? Ah.

See? Some said it was impossible

for Groot's civilization to return,
but he never gave up hope.

Eh, hope is for suckers.

Me? I always expect the worst.

What was that?

Ehh!

Uh, guys,
the giant space dragon is back.

Told ya! Ain't nothing worse
than a giant space dragon!

Fin Fang Foom?
What's he got against us?

He has clearly come seeking vengeance.

Although for what, I cannot remember.

Whatever it was,
it's probably Rocket's fault.

Oh, yeah, that's right.
Always blame the little guy.

What'd I tell ya?
Expect the worst.

That's why I always pack
an extra couple of these

insulated force shield generators.

I'll draw him away from the ship.

Hey, big, green, and scaly!

Over here!

Okay, this is the part where you're
supposed to move away from the ship.

Stop looking at me like that!

- Quill, watch out for his tail!
- What are you... Ohh!

I'll save them.
You try to contain the beast.

- How are we supposed to do that?
- I am Groot!

Whoa!

Groot!

Groot, speak to me, bud!

The beast is a boundless
force of irrational rage.

It cannot be controlled.
It must be contained!

Adam!

I'm all right.

It was just... the strain of
absorbing such a massive creature.

Yeah. That must have given
you some serious heartburn.

His heart does not appear
to be on fire.

At least you are all safe now.

Not all of us.

I am Groot!

There. That should hold.

Now let's see what I can do for Groot.

I am Groot!

Whoa. Welcome back, big guy.

I am Groot?

- Interesting question.
- Stupid question.

Just 'cause Warlock gave you
the cosmic fertilizer whammy

don't mean he can instantly grow
your entire civilization.

Actually, I believe I could.
Probably.

So, should we set a course
for Planet Y?

Why bother? Look, you can't
just wave your hands

and fix everything
in this messed-up universe.

It's cruel to give Groot false hope

when something bad's gonna
come along and take it away.

I am Groot?

'Cause something bad always
comes along, that's why.

All this stupid talk of hope is
really starting to get under my fur!

Ugh!

Rocket, my friend,
have I somehow offended you?

Look, you wanna help Groot's people?
Peachy.

But I got people too. See?

Subjects appear
content in their natural environment.

Cease all violent activity!
Stay back!

They're good people.

Was it better when they could
walk on two legs and talk to me?

Sure. But you don't see me
askin' for miracles.

And yet I sense this is
something you desire.

What if I could re-evolve
your family for you?

Forget it! I don't need no pity!

It's not pity, Rocket.

I want to prove that there is such
a thing as hope in this world.

Oh, sure there is.
For guys like you.

Please, let me help.

Fine. But on one condition.

We don't tell nobody what we're doin'.
But why?

'Cause this is gonna be
a total waste of time.

I know it. And I wanna see
your face when you fail.

If your family is half
as charming as you are,

I'm looking forward to meeting them.

Yeah, they seem
to like you, too, Goldie.

Really feelin' the good vibrations.

Don't give up hope, Rocket.

The universe will align,
and I will make this right.

The same energy that healed
Groot can evolve your family.

I know it.

Aahh!

No, Ma! Get off!
He's trying to help you!

What the flarg?

Oh, great! Warlock absorbed
us into his stupid gem!

Oh, you again?

Oh, this just gets better and better!

Warlock, if this is a joke,
I ain't laughin'!

And you won't neither
when I get my paws on you!

Is it just me, or are
these family get-togethers

never as warm and fuzzy as I pictured?

Huh? Now what?

Wait. I know that ship.

That's the High Evolutionary's ship.

Which means this shindig
just got upgraded

from failure to total catastrophe!

Whoa. Looks like
Warlock wasn't kiddin'

when he said he was
ridding the galaxy of evil.

Ugh.

What have we here?

A breathtaking work of genetic art.

Great. So now I'm stranded
here with these losers

and that genetics-crazed
nutjob...

who could be the only
person in the universe

that could actually re-evolve
my family.

That couldn't have been
Warlock's plan, could it?

Ma! Sis! Ranger! Get off!

Huh? Who dares interrupt

the High Evolutionary
while he's creating?

The only thing you create is a sick
feeling in the pit of my stomach.

You! What are you doing here?

And why did you bring
these... vermin?

What? Ya think I brung 'em here
just so you could re-evolve 'em?

Ha! Like you could
actually do that.

What are you blathering about?

Hey, these ain't just
any ordinary vermin.

They've been evolved and devolved

by the greatest minds on Halfworld.

Their DNA is so complicated,
no one could figure it out.

Not even you, Chrome-Dome.

Hmm. It could be
an interesting challenge.

Sort of a genetic found art piece.

But no. I'd need something
more from you in return.

And unfortunately,
your DNA is of no use to me.

Not interested? Eh, fine.

I'm out of this krutackin' gem world.

Wait. You know a way out
of this accursed realm?

Yeah. What's to to ya?

Do you have any idea

what it's like for an artist like me,

stuck in this wasteland with
this limited genetic palette?

I need color. I need variety!
I need inspiration!

Not my problem.

But I do know a guy who can get us
outta here, and you know the price.

Evolving your family?
Child's play.

Come! We must fetch
my lab equipment.

Whoa!

Warlock's crazy plan
might actually work!

But that'd mean he's actually right.

So... no, it can't work.

Has anyone seen Adam?

Nope. Well, come to think of it,
I haven't seen Rocket either.

I am Groot!

Yeah, we know Rocket's missing.
Try to keep up.

I am Groot. I am Groot!

Wait. Are you saying Rocket took Warlock
to Halfworld to help his family?

I am Groot.

Setting a course for Halfworld.

Wait. What do you need
the lizard for?

I'll need a massive amount of
life energy to fix your family.

Unless, of course,
you have an objection.

Eh, do what you gotta do.

Aahh!

Aahh!

I can't watch. Even if
it's for my own family.

We've arrived at Halfworld.

But how will we find Warlock?

Found him!

Aaahhh!

What is he doing?

He appears to greatly
dislike those rocks.

Stay back! I can't control it!

I absorbed Rocket, and I don't
want to absorb you too!

Aaahh!

The darkness...
it's seeping out of me!

I cannot keep it in!

We've got to stop him
before he hurts himself.

Really? He's the guy you're
worried about getting hurt?

I am Groot!

No! I said stay back!

I am Groot?

I need more energy.

I am Groot!

- Groot! How'd you find me?
- I am Groot!

What? Just 'cause something goes boom
don't mean it's... Okay, it's usually me.

- I am Groot?
- My family?

They're getting fixed
by the High Evolutionary.

But I couldn't stand to watch.

Rerouting circuits.

I thought I was good enough!

I thought I could control the evil!

How could I have been so wrong?

Adam, you've got to fight it.

The evil within me is too strong!

I can feel it... the darkness!

Forgive me, my friends. I can't
control the darkness within me!

Not cool, Adam!

Everyone, fall back!

Drax the Destroyer does not fall back!

Usually.

So, you brought me another specimen.
Excellent!

I've been wanting to create
with more of his DNA.

I am Groot!

What'd you do that for? He was in
the middle of fixing my family.

I am Groot!

What do you mean the gecko's pain
is causing Warlock to go dark?

I am Groot!

So we stop Warlock
from hurting our friends

after my family gets re-evolved!

I am Groot!

It ain't fair!
You get your people back.

I was almost starting to have hope,
and now you wanna take it away?

I am Groot.

I am Groot!

I am Groot?

What? Just 'cause
my hackles are up

don't mean I wanna see ya
get torched again.

I... I am Groot.

Yeah, I get it. You wanna make nice
to Foomy so's Warlock can calm down.

But I got a better idea.

If we really wanna help Goldie
restore his inner balance,

we gotta irritate him until
he purges us from his system.

I am Groot?

Trust me, there's nothing
better than a good purge.

Rodents do it all the time.

Not that'd I know anything about that!

Guys, this way!

Figures. They
never listen to anyone.

I am Groot!

Show-off.

We gotta annoy him more!
I am Groot?

Have you met my krutackin' family?

Just follow my lead.

Hey, Ma, how's about a hug
for your little runt?

That's it! Just keep being
your usual annoying selves!

Nothing worse than having
wild rodents in your armpits!

Aaahhh!

The pain! Make it stop!

It's working! We gotta
head toward that portal!

I am Groot!

Can't hold it in!

This looks like our stop.

Rocket! Groot!

Finally, out of that accursed...

Wait. What's this? It's him!

The portrait of genetic perfection!

Forget the dragon.

I want the Warlock!

Let's move this party somewhere else.

Come on, Adam!

Go on. There is no hope for me.

There's always hope.

Especially 'cause
I rigged the ship to blow up

while Chrome-Dome
was experimenting on my family.

Like I said,
always prepare for the worst.

That's why you put erasers on pencils

and escape pods on spaceships.

I am Groot.

I know that also
means the bad guys got away.

With any luck, the dragon'll
have 'em for breakfast.

Rocket, I'm sorry
I could not help your family.

I was wrong to give you false hope.

Nah, you were right.

Not about my family, but about hope.

Just 'cause you expect the worst don't
mean you can't still hope for the best.

My family may still be a bunch
of feral garbage pickers,

but they're good people.

And I'm gonna miss 'em when we go.

I am Groot.

What do you mean,
they don't want to leave you?

They can't stay with us. It's too
dangerous. Especially for me.

I am Groot!

This was an inspired idea, Groot.

Rocket's family will be safe and happy
here among your people and the Klyntar.

Yeah, it's great... for them.

What about me?
I still got nothin'.

Ma, no! Not again!

I am Groot?

Like I said, they're good people.