02x21 - I've Seen All Good People

[bunniefuu]

So, for the purposes
of this exercise, Gamora,

I am forbidden to use my gem?

That's right, Adam. Because any w*apon

you rely on too much becomes
a crutch and a weakness.

Plus we're sort of fond of the cosmos,

so we don't want to see you lose control
and accidentally blow it all up.

Apologies, Rocket.

Absorbing evil into my gem
is a bit of a reflex.

That's why you need to learn
new reflexes.

Your body has natural weapons...

hands, elbows, knees, feet.

Yes. I understand now.

And vulnerable points like the eyes,

the neck, and the wrist!

Hey, Quill, units says
he's down in ten seconds.

Fifty units says he's down in five.

That was just anatomy class.

Fighting is about three things...

speed, strength...

and surprise.

Now, this is entertainment!

Yeah, well, Adam doesn't
look too entertained, Drax.

You okay, buddy?

He's fine.

I would like to try again, Gamora.

Speed.

Strength!

Victory!

How could he forget "surprise"?

And now the victor must feast
upon his opponent's entrails!

What? It is a tradition
among my people.

Pathetic!

You think your enemies
want to dance with you?

They want to end you!

That's the first thing Thanos taught me.

Uh, a guy who wants
to destroy the universe

is maybe not the best role model.

I am Groot!

Back off!

Gamora! What are you doing?

Adam, no.

Nice going, Warlock. You just sucked
Gammy into that rock in your head.

Correction.
One of the rocks in your head.

It's okay. Just spit her out.Gently.

Stay back!

Gamora may be
the least of our problems.

Adam, you have to calm down.
Your gem's unstable.

As in "destroy the whole
universe" unstable.

I am Groot.

Ugh. The darkness in her eyes.

I panicked. I...

I'm sorry.

It's okay, Adam.

No, it's not. He's a failure!

I've known sponges with more fight.

She's right, Peter Quill.

It seems the warrior spirit
is not in me.

Since I remain a universal danger

as long as my instinct is to absorb

whatever threatens me,
my choice is clear.

I must reject all violent emotion
from this moment forward.

What? No, that is the exact wrong idea.

You just need to train harder.

You have to learn to fight.

You're dealing with
a great internal pain.

I felt it earlier.

Stay out of my head!

Strange.

I sense your race, the
Zen-Whoberi, were pacifists.

Yes. And it got them
destroyed by Thanos.

But they can still live on
in your memory.

Enough! Maybe you can get into my mind,

but you won't get under my skin.

You want to defeat me?

There's only one way... physically.

Maybe this will help you
find your warrior spirit.

Whoa! Whoa! I'm calling time-out.
I'm calling time-out.

I am Groot.

Aah!

I don't know what's scarier:
The fact that she just did that

or the fact that
she could always do that.

Absolutely not. No. Go away. Shoo!

Every time you show up,

- I end up closing for repairs.
- End up closing for repairs.

J'Que, amigo, that's totally unfair.

Yeah. It's more like every other time.

I swear, the very last thing
we're here to do is fight.

I'd take the little weasel
at his word, Q.

Quill here can't even be counted
on to fight for his best friends.

Gotta say, it really soured
my milk when you abandoned me

to the High Evolutionary's
tender mercies.

And after all I done for you.

Done for me or done to me, Yondu?

The blame is mine
for absorbing you into my gem.

For that, I apologize.

But I will not fight you.
Nor anyone else. Not ever.

See? Just six thirsty pacifists.

Uh, okay.
Well, I think we can all agree

that Gamora's expressed her
point of view very... clearly.

Adam, what would you
like to say to Gamora?

Please, just let him communicate
in his own weird way.

I seek only to heal you of your pain.

Your scars are deep and old.

Don't ever do that again!

That's right.

You get you the gem, and I
guarantee he won't fight back.

You just get me the units.

Enough. Your one purpose is to rid
the universe of evil...

something you evidently don't give
a Klyntar's butt about anymore.

- I feel your pain.
- No, you don't!

If you did, you wouldn't take
yourself out of the fight

when you have the power
to do something!

Okay. Good work, Gamora.
I think Adam hears that.

I think they heard it on Halfworld.

Oh! Oh!

Watch it!

What say we table this discussion?

As you wish.

Got to love Mr. Literal.

Not again!

Oh, hey, nice profile.

I can take care of myself, you know.

Okay, now drive this herd outside.

Ohh!

Greetings, Adam Warlock.
Come with me, please.

Where am I?

Welcome, Adam Warlock.

I am Taneleer Tivan,

but you may call me the Collector.

I'm delighted... no, honored that
you have accepted my invitation.

"Invitation"? I don't recall...

Invitation, captured...
The point is, you're here.

It really is marvelous.

What a coup it would be to have that
gem of yours in my collection...

literally my crowning jewel.

And yet it's impossible. The gem
is embedded in my forehead.

I am known as something of a
genius at obtaining things.

And genius is simply the art
of taking pains.

Or, when necessary, inflicting them.

I am Groot?

Nah. She needs to work this out.

There are some forces even Drax the
Destroyer will not trifle with.

I believe you said something
to the effect of,

"No fighting, not anyone, not ever."

Technically,
it wasn't me who said that.

It was... Wait. Where'd Adam go?

Aahh!

Yondu, where's Warlock?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't know
he had anything to do with this.

Aah!

Okay, apply some gentle persuasion.

Hey, hey! He said, "Gentle persuasion."

That is gentle. You know, for her.

Whoa!

Okay, okay. I sold Warlock
out to the Collector,

but I don't know where he took him.

You're lying.

Whoa!

No, no, no, no, no, no!
It's the truth. I swear!

And you owe me a boot!

Now, why Guardians
throw away perfectly good Ravager?

How'd you know Cosmo would show up?

I didn't.

Cosmo read Yondu's mind.

Is telling truth about Warlock.

But Cosmo also read Gamora

is for flying off handle
out of concern for friend.

And, uh, how you say,
smidge bit of guilt, too, da?

Warlock refuses to protect himself,
and it's sort of my fault.

Then Cosmo help locate.

With help from Continuum Cortex, yeah?

Finding Collector's ship is easy.

Finding exact location for
teleport to friend may take time.

We don't have time.

Nyet!

Oh, man! She's usually the one who stops
me from doing stupid things.

Is worse than stupid.

Gamora does not have
Passport wristband.

Cosmo cannot retrieve.

Her comm link does not respond.

Which means it's up to me,
as per krutackin' usual.

I am Groot?

'Cause I was once
a part of his collection,

so I know his ship better than anyone.

Plus I got a sweet tooth for payback.

We'll follow in the Milano and
distract him with some fireworks.

Make 'em pretty.

Gammy? That you?

Flarg!

Flarg!

Fla-a-arg!

And flarg.

Yes, I know it is painful,

but imagine my pain if I were
to damage your precious gem

while extracting it.

Intruders?

I said "distract," not "destroy."

Being destroyed is distracting.

Fools!

But if they want my collection
so badly, who am I to deny them?

Uhh...

What is that thing?

Drax will go ask it.

I am Groot?

Stay on that side of the glass,
if you know what's good for you.

- Adam!
- You!

Are you all right?

That the best you got, Collector?

I'm gonna go with "no."

Seriously?

Come on! Come on!

I am Groot! I am Groot! I am Groot!

Come on. We're gonna have to
fight our way off this ship.

I will not fight.

You... Ugh! Fine.
I'll fight, you watch.

Get back!

Perhaps combat is
not always the answer.

Yeah, I could see
that was working well for you.

My blade! Adam!

I sense pain here.

There's a name for that kind of pain.

It's called hunger!

Drax, Groot, how's it going out there?

I have suffered worse.

I am Groot!

Okay. Cool.

Speaking of which,
stay clear of the exhausts.

Drax, give him a nudge.

Hmph!

I was guaranteed
there would be no resistance.

I'm using the creature's
anger against it.

It will wear itself out soon!

Not soon enough.

Adam...

You...

evil...

monster!

Speed, strength, surprise.
I... I think you got it.

This would be where
you get these things off me,

- and we get outta here.
- No.

This would be where I collect
your heads for my trophy room.

Wait! Did I say your heads?
I meant your head sh*ts.

As in photos, for autographs.

- Please do not hurt me.
- Adam, what are you doing?

Just what you taught me.
I'm destroying him physically.

Adam, listen to me.

You've obviously found
your inner warrior.

But you have to remember why I fight.

Thanos took my pacifism
but not my compassion.

That's why I turned on him.

I fight, but not from hate.

I fight for my friends!

That was going to be lesson two.

You should rethink that order.

Wait. What are you doing?

Compassion. That was
your whole point, right?

But not before...

I suggest you cover irredeemable
villains in lesson three.

Not that you'll live to teach it.

See, now, collecting without
permission is called stealing.

And stealing's my job.

I swear I gotta do
everything myself! Huh!

Forget something?

Huh?

Well, love to stick around, but, uh...

Uh, maybe I will stick around.

This could be fun.

Ow! Killjoy.

Hmm. All singing from same page now?

Thanks to you.

And to you, for teaching me

not just how to fight,
but when and why.

I'm sorry to have put us
in danger while it all sunk in.

Too compassionate's
definitely a problem.

But so's too angry, and when
you went there, I saw me.

Part of me, anyway.
Not my favorite part.

Everything in balance, da?

I always denied there was any
wisdom in my people's pacifism.

You needed to, to survive.

Maybe. But right now, I'm missing
the memory of them more than ever.

You know, some memories
we erase ourselves

because they make us feel vulnerable.

Those ones are never truly lost.

Hey, is that a...

Uhhh...

What?

- We saw nothing.
- And by "nothing,"

baldy means the most dangerous
woman in the galaxy weeping like...

Scratch that.

Didn't see a thing.