02x24 - You're No Good

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Guardians of the Galaxy". Aired: September 2015 to June 2019.*
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"Guardians of the Galaxy" picks up where the film left off and they patrol the universe protecting it from various villains that thr*aten it.
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02x24 - You're No Good

Post by bunniefuu »

So... much... power.

Why did I ever resist it?

The Warlock is gone.
Long live the Magus!

What the krutack, Quill?

Warlock absorbed a dozen lowlifes
before going dark last time.

Now absorbing one guy
sends him over the evil edge?

Yeah, well, my dad always
was an overachiever, Rocket.

Now we can add
"corrupting a cosmic being"

to "starting an intergalactic w*r,"

and "being an all-around jerk."

And he's had control of Adam
long enough.

Warlock already destroyed
the Black Order.

You might not be able
to talk him down this time.

Gamora is correct.
We must protect ourselves.

Then everyone grab a helmet.

Hey! Get back here!

No fair flying away when we need you!

The Nova Centurion helmets no doubt
search for heroes to defeat me.

But by then, the galaxy
will belong to the Magus.

Adam, listen to yourself.

You're not like this.

"Adam" is the name you gave me.

Empty words!

I am Groot!

I am Grooooot!

I am Groot!

And I am so much more!

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Pathetic.

Anyone see where that
glowing-eyed maniac went?

No. But there is no doubt he will cause
more destruction when he gets there.

Groot!

You okay, bud?

I am Groot.

Okay, maybe this Adam isn't quite
the talk-it-out kind of guy.

What was your first clue?
When he buried Xeron,

or... pfft... when he tried
to do the same to us?

Xeron will live, but she
will not wake any time soon.

Eh, the Black Order? Not so lucky.

And they bowed down to Warlock.

What do you think he's gonna do
when he meets someone who doesn't?

Wha... So we're just
supposed to take him down?

Adam is one of us.

- Not anymore.
- Fine.

We'll put it to a vote.
After we stop him

from blowing up the galaxy!

I am Groot!

My people's healers will tend to Xeron.

She will fulfill her sacred
duty to destroy the Warlock,

should we fail in our task.

How can we succeed?

The only thing that can stop
Warlock are the Centurion helmets,

and they're halfway
across the galaxy by now.

Relax. I got a guy.

This is gonna go on
my permanent record. Ugh!

If you hate Saturday detention
so much, Mr. Alexander,

you should've thought of that
before skipping class... again.

Sam!

Samuel Alexander! Look,
this better be important,

as in galaxy-about-to-end important.

Yeah, funny you should mention that.

Okay, but I'm going to
need a note for my principal.

All right.
Sam's looking for the helmets.

We just need to contain Adam
until he finds them.

That would require finding Warlock.

That's easy. Just find whatever
planet has the most distress calls.

Is that not J'Son's home world?

Yeah. Spartax.

And ten units says he's going
for more than a visit.

Such glorious destruction!

Leaders of Spartax, surrender!

Sorry, but this
leader does not surrender!

And neither does Spartax!

Now face Empress Victoria!

Heh-hey! Baby sis!

Peter, get off this channel!

No, wait, wait, wait.
Wait. We can help.

I've had enough of your help
for a lifetime.

You're lucky I'm busy
with this Warlock monster, or...

Yeah, about that...

What did you do?

Nothing. But... Okay,

so Dad got absorbed into Warlock's
gem and turned him evil,

and now he's calling the sh*ts.

So, our father is using the
Warlock as his personal w*apon?

No! Well, technically, yeah.

But what I'm saying is, you can't
just destroy Warlock. He's innocent.

Tell that to my ships, which he's
currently blasting out of the sky!

Great. So now we found Warlock.

How do we contain him
without the krutackin' helmets?

Relax.

You got a guy?

More like a whole bunch of 'em.

A Believer ship?

That hunk of junk can barely fly!

Nor can I ascertain
how it could stop Warlock.

Belief energy is what brought Adam out
of his cocoon in the first place.

So maybe Belief energy
can push him back in.

And since the Believers
aren't using this ship anymore,

their Belief batteries
should be easy pickings.

So, until Sam shows up with the helmets,
it's a perfect Plan B.

You get it?

"B"? For "Believers"?

'Cause I was... Okay, never mind.

Okay, maybe we need a Plan C.

Better start working on D through N,

'cause none of your plans work!

Okay, this is just a minor setback.
With explosions!

Groot!

I thought you said the Believers
weren't using this ship.

You are correct, Gamora.
Quill, however, was incorrect.

Well, if they're using it,
they ain't doing too good a job.

Their defenses just conked out.

The nonbelievers
are boarding our vessel.

Let them come.

These are the doubters who destroyed
Mantis and decimated our fleet.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

I believe we will dispense justice.

We're not here to fight, Arokine.

We need your help.
The Warlock needs your help.

I don't believe you.

I am Groot!

Him I believe.

Is the Chosen One bringing about
the Golden Age we prophesized?

Not exactly. Yeah, he's
doing that other thing.

You know, the whole destroying the
galaxy thing.

This is your fault, Peter Quill.

That is wrong-ish.

It's my dad who turned Warlock evil.

The Patriarch ordered us to bring
the Warlock back into the galaxy.

Why would he corrupt him?

So he could control him, dummy.

The Patriarch lied to us...
about everything.

- What is happening?
- We're on a Belief ship.

Everything here
is powered by their belief,

and without Warlock, they don't
have anything to believe in.

And why should we give a flarg?

'Cause it means we're gonna crash.

Okay, things look bad,

but we can still stop Warlock.

You just have to turn those
frowns upside down and believe.

Literally, believe.

What is there to believe in?

You wanna know what I believe in?

I, uh... I, um...

I believe in music.

I believe the children are our future.

I don't stop believin'.

Don't give up on us, baby.

Shake your booty.

Get hooked on a feelin'.

'Cause we are the champions!

I am Groot! I am Groot! I am Groot!

I am Groot!

I am Groot! I am Groot! I am Groot!

I am Groot! I am Groot!

I am Groot! I am Groot!

- I am Groot...
- Oh, come on!

That's the speech that inspires them?

Belief levels are rising.
The ship's repowering.

Fine. Whatever. Let's go to Spartax.

Oh, we can't do that.

We sold off our hyper-drive
for supplies. Mm.

So once again, it's up to me
to fix everything.

Run, Victoria. Hide.

It will not save you.

It's been an honor serving with you all.

Let us honor Spartax together
one last time!

Huh?

Aaahh!

Hey, Adam. Whatcha doin'?

You survived. And you
stole my Element Blaster.

So you are calling
the sh*ts in there... Dad.

The smart thing
would have been to run away.

Well, I've never been that smart.

You know what I mean.
Vicky, go get backup!

Rocket, Groot, hit it!

You heard him, weirdoes!
Give it everything you got!

I am Groot. I am Groot.

I am Groot. I am Groot.


I believe I'm not so stupid now.

Don't be so sure.

Huh?

I believe if you knock us down,
we'll get right back up.

Aaah!

So why don't you just
spit my dad out of your gem,

and we can work this out
without hurting each other.

You really don't know me
at all, do you, son?

Oh, I know you extremely well, Father!

Even when you hide inside
an all-powerful Cosmic being!

Thanks, baby sis. We'll keep
Dad-slash-Warlock busy.

We need you to evacuate the city.

You heard the Star-Lord. Let's go.

Fools! You can't save them.

Yeah, well, to quote a wise Earth
sage, "You ain't seen nothing yet."

Rocket, Operation Backwards Butterfly!

Only you would
make yourself weaker, Peter.

Or is this Backwards Butterfly
supposed to make me feel compassion?

No. It's supposed to shove you
back in your cocoon.

Huh?

We believe we can cocoon Warlock.

- We believe...
- Believe harder, you little flargs!

We believe we can cocoon Warlock.

We believe we can cocoon Warlock.

We believe we can cocoon Warlock.

Sorry, Adam, but Belief energy
brought you into this galaxy,

and we couldn't let you destroy it.

Yeah, that's not a cocoon.

Aahh!

Did you think I couldn't
control Belief energy?

I was the first being to harvest it.

I got this!

Now all will bow to Magus.

Hey, Quill, remind me never to
listen to your plans again... again.

Okay, I admit Plan B was a bust.

But here comes Plan A.

"A" was for "Alexander,"
in case you were wondering.

We weren't.

Sorry I'm late, guys, but finding
these helmets and catching them

are two very different things.

All right, Magus.
Get ready for round two.

With the Nova Force Guardians.

Whoa! Come on, guys, pull it in!

Drax the Destroyer does not enjoy
shirts, nor flying via hat-wear.

Learn fast. We need to hold Magus

till Victoria evacuates the city.

- Already done.
- Ser... Really?

You done... The whole city?

We're Spartaxian, Peter.
Efficiency is in our DNA.

Yes! Yes!

Now, this is how ya blow stuff up!

Do not hide from me, cowards!

At this point,
that may be our best option.

Our strongest Nova blasts
are just annoying this guy.

I am Groot!

So, another of Quill's plans
ain't working.

Ha! What do you call déjà vu
the third time around?

We're failing 'cause
we're not doing it right.

We need to act like a unit.
Just follow my lead.

'Cause following your lead
has worked out so well for us.

Groot, Drax, aim for the eyes!

Rocket, his left is open!

Gamora, Sam, swing him around!

Everyone, fire at his knees, now!

You cannot defeat me like this, Peter!

I will win!

- I am Groot!
- Gotcha, bud.

Quill, we need to end this
before there's no city left to save.

Seriously?

I don't get it. The Nova Centurions

were supposed to be able to
defeat Warlock if he went evil.

- Why can't we?
- 'Cause they forgot

to write down instructions
with these krutackin' helmets.

Maybe. But Adam didn't forget.

I think he showed us how to
b*at him if he ever went dark.

I think he scribbled it all
over our table in crayon.

What, you wanna take
tactical advice from a toddler?

Just get in the same formation.

What are you doing?

No! No! Let me out!

Let me out!

This isn't over, Peter!

This time it really is, Dad.

Adam, if you're still in
there somewhere, I'm sorry.

What he gave, I will take away.

Did we... Did we actually win?

Yeah, you... you don't have to
sound so surprised, you know.

Yeah, well, when one of
your plans works,

it's the only rational response.

I am Groot!

But it was not Quill's plan.

He merely copied
the toddler Warlock's plan.

That is why it worked.

Yeah, you know what?
I'm just gonna take the win.

Aah! That was so awesome!
We did it! We...

Uh, well done, team.

We couldn't have done it
without you, Sam.

Thanks, guys, but I was serious
about that note for my principal.

Relax. I got a guy.

I know you're in there, Sam!

You can't skip out on detention!

I will never forget this!

Actually, you will be
forgetting all of this.

Wait. What... What am I doing here?

What day is it again?

Thanks for the assist, Cosmo.

Good dog.
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